In my opinion, loneliness is the worst of all evils. Unlike hunger, thirst and illness, which force us to take an attitude when they affect us, loneliness is often masked under an aura of virtue and renunciation.
But today I am alone because I have chosen to be alone.
This is a special day for me; I stroll through the soft European autumn, walk down a wide avenue, pass by people who talk about souls or tobacco shops. I walk through Lisbon; climb up to Saint George’s Castle, look at the Tagus and the Atlantic, and try not to think about anything.
In a short while the sun will be rising in Brazil, the bookstores will be opening, and for the very first time my new book will be held in a reader’s hand. After so many titles published, perhaps you imagine that I am used to it all. But I am not, thank God. I still feel the same excitement and enthusiasm as I did when “The Pilgrimage” was brought out 20 years ago.
I take this notebook from my pocket and begin to write; besides being enthusiastic and excited, do I also feel afraid? I stop, listen to the wind in the trees, reflect for a while, then write: “no, I am not afraid”. At this very moment I am a mixture of the mother giving birth to a baby and a father who finally accepts that his daughter is leaving home to live with her boyfriend.
“Do I think about how the reader is going to react?” I jot down in the notebook. Again I listen to the wind, and back comes the answer: of course I do! After all, I have put the best of myself there, and like anyone else I want my love to be understood. A great Dominican mystic of the 14th century known as Master Eckhart once said: “I am a man, and it is part of human nature to share this with other men.” All that I have looked at, seen and felt on my stroll from the hotel to this castle are attempts to share a little of each of our views of life. The tiles on the facades of the houses, the designs in the Cathedral of Holy Mary Major, the silence of the people at prayer, the man playing his accordion on a hilly street, alien to everything going on around him. Artisans of the past and the present, all trying to say: here is what I think, this is how I am.
Five days ago, autumn began in Europe, although the weather is still warm. But winter will be coming, the cold will probably be implacable, and the trees that at the moment are laden with leaves will sigh in sadness when they fall. They will probably say: “we’ll never be the same again”.
Just as well. Or else, what would be the point of renewal? The next leaves will have their own personality, they will belong to a new summer that is coming and that will never be the same as the summer that has passed.
Living is changing – that is the lesson that the seasons teach us. I too am changed by the new leaves of each new book. Would it be a bit arrogant to say that I do not need to prove anything else to myself? It may not be arrogant, but it is certainly foolish. Although I already have a story to tell my grandchildren, if I have ever any, whoever lives off past successes has lost the meaning of life.
I look again at the Tagus and recall some lines by Fernando Pessoa:
The Tagus takes you out into the world. No-one ever thought about what lies beyond the river in my village. The river in my village does not make you think about anything; when you stand beside it, you’re just standing beside it.
These are the last hours in which the river in my village – my new book – belongs to me alone. And I shall try to stand beside it, without thinking of anything, just looking at Lisbon, listening to the bells, the dogs, the street cries, children laughing and tourists talking. I am like a child, and I am not ashamed to be so excited. I pray to God that He keeps me like that.
The answer, my friend, is “blowin in the wind”
;o)
hey Paulo you know you’re our angel not to make pride or but it’s reality
every few word you say or write makes us in real position just to find the real we are
I think the shame is to be not so excited of what we hve done becaus the every little thing we do it has certainly a meaning in our existing life
I pray God to keep you for your family and also for us
hopping I will really get my point of glad for all things I do.
Thanks Paulo our “Izem”
(Izem:it’s a noun come from “Thamazigth:Kabyle” means lion and we use it to tell how much the personne is courage and dicisive or also to tell that he is a real man )
Simplification often leads to undoing the wisdom, unless they are imparted as seeds with esoteric meaning. I was wondering about the apparent fatalism inherent in Deepali’s views and the manner it contrasts with free-will and choice and Krishna’s exortation to Arjuna to choose the path that befitted him, despite the knowledge imparted about the pre-destination and the eventual end.
We all die, true. How we travel to that point is full of choice and free-will and that is what lends drama to Life – in all its meaning…!
Just good wishes and a reminder that we have choices as individuals and groups, just as the protagonists in the epic poem Mahabharata had and made those choices…
Hi Paulo
A few words
Why then am i blessed ,
With love and luxury untold ?
for I follow destiny
A path foretold !
In many of your letters people seek answers , In Hinduism The philosophy says that we are programed as a microchip , over many lives . Our short time span cannot reveal it all in one lifetime,these laws of karma , of the deeds we do or the thoughts we think . But relive them we will , in some life time or another. The only choice we have is to accept each situation as a divine gift and pray for the strength to be able to bear it smilingly. It is these smiles that will bring to us the positive energies to see and choose the right path
my fave author paulo,
as of now im still searching why we have to felt loneliness..the idea isn’t clear yet..im just an ordinary person with nothing to boast about..im about to leave our company because my boss does not like me neither..im lonely and im hurt for the truth it brought…but somehow your blog made me relief..thanks..Godbless and more power..
73-HAPPY NEW YEAR-NEW HAPPINESS THROUGH ANOTHER TIME FRAME-MAY ALL OF YOUR SENSE OF BEAUTY STAY ATTACHED TO YOUR SOUL—TED BOSSIS{THROUGH A WELL MEANT SPIRITUAL WEB SITE “DAILY OM”-I NOW KNOW WHO YOU ARE}
Twoje ksiazki sa piekne.Mozna znalezc w nich wiele pouczen na teraz i na przyszlosc.Mozna z nich czerpac ogromna wiedze…
hi
I don’t believe that we are ever lonely. The ever vibrating universe and its presence encompasses up. Every bit of our being is something-its someone. Even if in the whole world we walk alone, its only our thoughts that can make us “feel lonely”…but we truly can never be lonely
Just wondering while reading the blog, about meanings…
Would there be meaning in a gestures of apparent benevolence while incredible ugliness of design guides that gesture… Would it be civilization or its anti-thesis?
Would that gesture count as hard evidence or the fathomless ugliness that guides it amidst the knowledge of it?
In the face of such depravity, emotions are privileged luxuries. The difference between civilizations or the barbaric and the civilized. Very true.
And would a road travelled, that is full of such gestures, be a road within a civilization or its anti-thesis?
Just wondering, about the nature of meanings of suchroads most championed by the politics of depravity,in the lands that house such roads…and the damage to politics of emancipation in other lands with perhaps better roads!
The nature of meaning…
Dear Paulo,
As always your words go straight to my heart and make me stop and think about your ideas and how they pertain to my life and of those around me. I smiled when I read this blog and also felt emotional about my own lonliness and the changes of the seasons and how with each passing season and year, nature is never the same and we are never the same again. I have always felt that way. I,too, choose to be alone sometimes and feel those times feed my soul and help me to process things in my life. The saddest part of lonliness to me is when I am surrounded by people and still feel lonley. I just wanted to say thank you for your beautiful words and for all your books. I have read each one. They seem to have come to me when I needed the message or the lesson they taught. They have changed my life and I just want to thank you for that.
I wish for you and your family a glorious and meaningful New Year.
Laura
Dear Katy,
Your message means a lot to me on this last night of 2006. You see, your existence means a lot to us. Without you, we would not think about what you say, we would not react. So: even in your worst moments you are an inspiration!
Dear Katy, these moments of pain, incredible emptiness and fear will disappear. I know. Since you take the effort and have the courage to write your messages, I know you will survive. I do not have all the wisdom, I just experience life to the fullest. And you will know life only when you have experienced the bottem, the deepest fall.
I think you are an incredible courageous person because you share your thoughts here in this log. You put yourself into the light. After 9 months… I think your words are written without any mask.
If you have experienced this bottem, you can see what is really important and that the world continues to turn no matter what we, humans, think or do.
Men know how to love. But women and men are different, that’s what makes it so beautiful. Female and male forces cannot live without each other. Earth, which is a female element, the Great Mother, she will die without the Sun. Life will die without the male inspiration, without male fire. Without this fire, there will be an eternal winter. Standing still in the silence for ever. So thank God, the Sun is born again every year.
At a certain time in my life, I turned the cross, very consiously. I did not believe in anything at all anymore. I was angry. I always did what I believed I had to do. I did everything for ‘my man’. I was everything for ‘my man’. So he could use me, like I was nothing. With my magic I would become any person he wanted me to be. I had no right to existence. I was his.
I totally lost my self respect. I wanted to die eventually. Because I was nothing.
I do not think God wants a woman to do this. I was born, so I have a right to live! Never forget your birthright.
I do not think of myself as a very strong person, because I know many fears and anxieties, very often I feel vulnerable. I wanted to hide myself, always be safe in my little dark shelter. But a writer named Paulo Coelho wrote about Love and Courage. I hated God, because I always believed I had to be perfect, I had to be soft, I had to suffer and be holy. I was about to become insane. But by reading the books of Coelho, I learned that there was a way. To fight a good fight! This has nothing to do with holiness. This has to do with courage! It’s okay to feel fear. To feel anger. To feel whatever you feel. Because you are human. Living with your heart – that’s what counts. So, even when you are in your darkest moments, you are still with God, because you live with your heart. You feel pain, you suffer, by heart. So God is with you. Because you live. To the fullest. You feel, my dear Katy. So: you live.
You are in my heart. Because I know where you are in this moment in time. And we all need someone who loves us. You will survive, my dear Katy. I know what it is to be left all alone. But you know, you matter to me. I am the youngest child too. I felt like a burden. No right to live.
But you matter, because you live.
Please feel safe. Fight. Do not give up. You are not alone in this world.
I felt hopeless. Now, I have my fears under control, I learn. I put my mantle on, to protect myself. I’ve red the books of Coelho and learn how to feel safe and learn about courage. And please listen to music (for instance ‘What’s going on, Marvin Gay). I survived on hope. Never give up, Katy.
Love,
Mirjam
I feel a lot like Jose here in Sydney, being away from my family and forced to live by my own means. Indeed loneliness is the worst of all evils. But unlike Jose at the start of is young life, I have set to cling on the image of love my family has carved in my mind while I am away from them. Though the sadness still cannot be suppressed totally. It can eat at you when you let it take over. But I do not want to numb myself from it. I would rather feel the sadness brought on by love, than to feel nothing.
may the new year bring you much joy,
Pen
I’m very pleased to find in this word a big man saying : I am like a child
Thank you Mr Paulo COELHO
ali from Lebanon
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
Wish you all a very happy New Year “