In my opinion, loneliness is the worst of all evils. Unlike hunger, thirst and illness, which force us to take an attitude when they affect us, loneliness is often masked under an aura of virtue and renunciation.
But today I am alone because I have chosen to be alone.
This is a special day for me; I stroll through the soft European autumn, walk down a wide avenue, pass by people who talk about souls or tobacco shops. I walk through Lisbon; climb up to Saint George’s Castle, look at the Tagus and the Atlantic, and try not to think about anything.
In a short while the sun will be rising in Brazil, the bookstores will be opening, and for the very first time my new book will be held in a reader’s hand. After so many titles published, perhaps you imagine that I am used to it all. But I am not, thank God. I still feel the same excitement and enthusiasm as I did when “The Pilgrimage” was brought out 20 years ago.
I take this notebook from my pocket and begin to write; besides being enthusiastic and excited, do I also feel afraid? I stop, listen to the wind in the trees, reflect for a while, then write: “no, I am not afraid”. At this very moment I am a mixture of the mother giving birth to a baby and a father who finally accepts that his daughter is leaving home to live with her boyfriend.
“Do I think about how the reader is going to react?” I jot down in the notebook. Again I listen to the wind, and back comes the answer: of course I do! After all, I have put the best of myself there, and like anyone else I want my love to be understood. A great Dominican mystic of the 14th century known as Master Eckhart once said: “I am a man, and it is part of human nature to share this with other men.” All that I have looked at, seen and felt on my stroll from the hotel to this castle are attempts to share a little of each of our views of life. The tiles on the facades of the houses, the designs in the Cathedral of Holy Mary Major, the silence of the people at prayer, the man playing his accordion on a hilly street, alien to everything going on around him. Artisans of the past and the present, all trying to say: here is what I think, this is how I am.
Five days ago, autumn began in Europe, although the weather is still warm. But winter will be coming, the cold will probably be implacable, and the trees that at the moment are laden with leaves will sigh in sadness when they fall. They will probably say: “we’ll never be the same again”.
Just as well. Or else, what would be the point of renewal? The next leaves will have their own personality, they will belong to a new summer that is coming and that will never be the same as the summer that has passed.
Living is changing – that is the lesson that the seasons teach us. I too am changed by the new leaves of each new book. Would it be a bit arrogant to say that I do not need to prove anything else to myself? It may not be arrogant, but it is certainly foolish. Although I already have a story to tell my grandchildren, if I have ever any, whoever lives off past successes has lost the meaning of life.
I look again at the Tagus and recall some lines by Fernando Pessoa:
The Tagus takes you out into the world. No-one ever thought about what lies beyond the river in my village. The river in my village does not make you think about anything; when you stand beside it, you’re just standing beside it.
These are the last hours in which the river in my village – my new book – belongs to me alone. And I shall try to stand beside it, without thinking of anything, just looking at Lisbon, listening to the bells, the dogs, the street cries, children laughing and tourists talking. I am like a child, and I am not ashamed to be so excited. I pray to God that He keeps me like that.
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To Debby,
Thank you for your prayers it’s most appreciated, and if God does exists then he does not hear me but I hope he hears your parayer Debby. I must admit that its like living in limbo, I dont want to leave(die) but I dont want to stay(live)… I’m holding on, I’m not sure for how long but I dont give inn so easly. Writing is what keeps me alive and when I stop writing I will Leave(die)
Thank you very much for your kind thoughts Debby,
‘May the gods keep you always among the living and away from the dead’.
Katy T.Australia
To Mirjam,
It gives me comfort as I read your words of wisdom, thank you for reminding me/us all that everything has an end Great and smale, good and bad… Thank you for existing in this world, for sharing such words of love and truth with the ones that have forgotten about the simplisity of our life as the sun risese till it sets… I do believe that we are born as the sun is up early morning and we die as the sun sets(we are reborn everyday and so should our pain and trubles).
Thank you for saving my soul tonight as I galdly read through your wisdom my dear, and most of all, thank you for existing.
Katy T.Australia
Hay Paulo,
I am back from my holiday in Munich, funny I now know why I hate it here in this overpriced country and why some people do not like to come here. Munich is an amazing city full of light and life. It still has it’s problems like any great city, but it is a city that thrives on it’s inner light.
One of the days I was there I saw the Christmas Markets for the first time. I was like poor Jose!! Tears welled in my eyes at the amazing sight. I got to drink Mulled wine and to treat myself to some hot sausages and bread on the cold street.
It is all another story for another time.!
When I got back to Ireland I was hit with the reality of my life here and as always want to get as far away from my problems as always. I went to visit two of my good friends at their house for a few festive beers and some food. My friend had gotten the Wii games console from Santa for Christmas, so we played a few games till we were too tired to stand up again!! I showed them my new PSP a hand held console that plays games, movies and goes on the net etc. I handed it to my friend to have a look because I bought a rare White version that is very expensive in Ireland, but cheep in Munich, he began to read allowed as if from the screen, ”kealan we have gotten you a present, but are too embarrassed to give it to you.” We all laughed and I was handed ‘Like a Flowing River.’
I have it here now beside me in the café I work in as I am posting this comment!
It has given me the strength to try again to write my little story
Have a great New Year!
Kealan
The days are dark and misty. When I make my midnight walk, the earth is dark and silent. The world around me is asleep. Everything is peaceful. I’m alone in this quiet world. But I feel happy and safe. In this silence I’m one with the Universe.
This can be a very difficult period for a lot of people. The earth is silent. The earth is like a mirror to us. It tells us there must be quiet days. Time for reflections. Time to stand still and listen. Time for ending.
Then we can feel pain too. The pain of letting go. That can be a struggle. We feel vulnerable.
But in this silence, there is also peace. It’s a moment to say: it’s okay. Earth is resting, preparing new life, renewing itself. It’s okay to say goodbye. It’s okay to feel what you feel. It’s okay.
The sun will appear every morning. Birds will fly and sing every new day. The wheel will keep turning. Every day will begin every day. Every day will end every day. Light will be born and die every day. The dark will be born and die every day. We have nothing to say about that. And that to me is very comforting. These are the securities of my love.
We awake every day, we are born every new day again. And we say goodbye, we die every day again.
Our pain dies with us, every day. And that’s okay.
I wish every person a peaceful moment in silence. And the chance to get rid of the pain and the dark.
Love,
Mirjam, The Netherlands
A message for Katy T,
Reading your last message, I know pretty much how you feel right now, I was there for a long time after breaking up with the love of my life. I left a message about it on the 23rd. Its hard and painful, and though probably not much consolation if you are still in the throes of your loss…but it does get better.
For me its been three years since the fact. You were wondering if men feel this way about love also?
The answer is yes. Yes we do. Funny I was asking the same question after my girlfriend left me…do girls really love deeply or do they simply fall in and out of deep infatuation? That was how I felt at the time.
I ve come to realise though, that it was less dramatic than all that. I wanted to settle with my life as it was, I had reached a very comfortable period and she was intrinsic to my feeling of well being.
With her gone, I had to face the world alone, and after three years of discussing every little thing with a girl who listened and advised (or simply told me to cop on when that was all that was needed!) being alone against the world was a scary prospect.
Having someone who listens and cares for you and loves you is an extraordinary feeling, but there are two people in a relationship and as much as both may talk and share their experiences, there is always those secret desires and ambitions that are rarely expressed to the other person.
I believe it is those ambitions deep within a person that will always over ride, and break away from a situation that wont give them an oppertunity to be fulfilled. I’m not saying that people are necessarily aware of them, but they motivate people…even to break up with someone they love.
In my instance, my ex-girlfriend since our split has gone on to have a great career in radio and after I picked up the peices and stopped looking back so much, I have recently had an oppertunity to have my ambition be a successful DJ this coming year. It just landed on my lap. When I was with my ex, I had given up on that dream, as it just wasn’t happening for me.
Its taken a long time for me to accept the situation, I’ve gone through the full spectrum of emotion – anger, jealously, depression, crying, bargining, rage and only now am I beginning to put it in context. Theres a feeling growing in me now that, though that relationship is over, in essence dead and I’ve been grieving for the loss of soomething gone forever.
Love will come again.
Trust to it, because the price of love is pain for its loss. So, its clear you know how to love.
Stay strong,
Peace and love, Donal
almost nothing. Even emotions have such a price of privilege. Too poor to even afford that.
But, its worthwhile to remember that its better to choose laughter. Not that one is necessarily sad. Just frozen inside and barely visible in the ice, is the warm glow of innocent fire – a silent smile and the world’s laughter!
Of horizons, it is nice to caress the brilliant white light and hope to sleep and awake as sparkling laughter and joy of that brilliant white light at the horizon!
Silence, whispered the tree, barely audible in the rustle of the spider weaving a web between its branches.Rejoice – you can move and choose.
The sigh of horror of a flower being cut at its stem, to enliven my evening party, and a dew slowly dropped down on my hand.
The soft love of water, untill I hurt it with my bull-in-a china-shop manner.
And other stories of love – rejected and repelled in everyday life. And then the imagined nostalgia of someone, living everywhere…
Of these little things, till strong enough to stand, was made the little prince, protected in the wake-up shower, to begin the journey to office again.
Oblivion is necessary. We have made it a necessary part of our lives. And with all that, the little prince chose to befriend the yellow snake…
And crying wells in the night sky. He would be happy. He is. Think of yourself, and worry not. If oblivion catches up with you, at least be glad that you had known the meaning of its absence!
adieu
Flap … for an Happy New Year bird landing !!!
*
Let us share our words and our dreams
Let us give opportunity to exist
Let us exchange indefinitely
Let us amalgamate with Utopia …
*
busard
Nice,its nice to have a soul..like tuning fork or like a cord,but all these have heart and love inside.Paulo-thanks!You are not allome I’m there too!!
Neda
Dear Paulo
exactly one year ago something happened to me that leaves me still amazed and wondering. I fell in love with another woman. This feeling was so strong, that I can neither discribe it, nor hardly believe it myself, now thinking back. It changed my life in that sense, as life has become so much more puslsating it so much more “alive” than it ever was before. All of a sudden things become important, that were meaningless up to the day. The feeling deep inside me got so strong, that I had to spend some five weeks in a psychiatric institution. All of a sudden I could not sleep anymore and I started to loose weight.
It was then, when I got your latest book into my hands and by reading the poem by Manuel Bandeira of the river I had to cry.
Your warrior of light has been on my side ever since and it accompanied me through a very hard time of my life. so often it gave me strength to continue my way and hope for the future.
Now I also know, that I will do the pilgrimage along the “camino” to Santiago de Compostella, thank you again, Paulo
Walter
Andrew,
Ha! Sorry if I scared you. :) It was not my intention.
Katy,
Sorry to hear that you are in pain. In the big scheme of things, it has been my experience, and of those around me, that all things work toward the eventual best for everyone concerned.
In hindsight, if the greatest love of MY life hadn’t left me, I would have ended up with a man who wasn’t good for me. He ended up being schizophrenic and living on the streets. :( I often see him, and (not to sound insensitive!)think to myself, ‘Phew! I’m glad I dodged that bullet!’ And I’m reminded that we never know God’s plan for us until we’ve gotten a little further along the path.
I’ve seen the same thing over and over again with my friends and family. Cosmic forces separate and bring together through strange synchronicities, the people we need to be with (or not!). The pain of transition passes if you work on letting it go, and just keep holding on to the hope and the realization that we will never know the big picture all at once, but that’s the fun of living. Pain can be difficult, but as we’ve all been discussing here, once you get through the pain, you find the reward of a lesson learned.
Hang in there, Sweetie! You are in my prayers.
Sincerely,
-Deb :)
How sad it is to read that at a time when we are meant to be happy so many people look at their lives and want to run away.
What I’ve often wondered is why when we come into this world on our own and go out on our own, we have this relentless need to connect and feel real love?
I’m not sure which is worse, never finding what you are looking for or having found it and it disappears again!
The one thing I know is that even if you lose that great love of your life, you cannot give up on faith, hope and belief, otherwise there is truly no point in life.
If you can only hold onto one of these things day to day I’m sure it will bring you back to the light.
Real love is so very hard to find today but I’m giving life a chance again!
For the New Year I wish you all new possibilities, but you have to live to discover them. Look at life like an adventure not an endurance test. XXXXXX
As Shelly said,”If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”
..the most optimistic statement in english literature..seasons change..people change…desires change…but only thing remains constant…our journey to find happiness….be it through finding love..or through loneliness…or by looking at the piles and piles of pearl like clouds…the quest for happiness….and acceptance from others continues till the last breath and maybe beyond that as well!!
Dearest Paulo,
I have a whole in my heart and everyday it gets bigger and bigger when I think that I will no longer feel the beating of my heart for ‘He’ has left me alone in this big big world.
Here is something I would like to share with the world of lovers and the ones that may find comfort in these words.
“So you’ve chosen to leave? You’ve packed up your stars and moons and decided to leave me with an empty galaxy and a mute desert? WERE ARE YOU? What happened to our blue skies?… Don’t leave me with no words, don’t you know that I’m but a mirage? I’m only there when you see me. Don’t you know that I only want to be seen with your eyes?”
I’m not sure who is the master of these well written words that speak exactly what my heart has been asking for the last 9 months, these painful words is all I feel and when I read them I feel a ting of madness, pain and rage. I think to myself, how can one be so good and yet we hurt them as if they are the worst people on earth? I’m at the edge of the cliff Paulo, and I’m thinking twice about jumping. The only reason that stops me is my darling mother, I cant leave her with the pain she will feel after I’m gone will surly kill her. You see, I dont often see her much but when I do I feel as if I’m that child you speak about in your life, we meet for few hours and she makes me feel as if I’m still her only child when I have 7 other siblings but I’m the youngest one.
I’m stuck Paulo.. I can’t leave but I dont know how to stay around for so long with this pain that I feel every day, every minute every second of my life for 9 months I feel as if I’m not meant to be here(alive). Everything is black and white Paulo, there are no colours in my days, there is no life without fear in my hours spent alone. I try to be brave and have courage but my mask is too heavy to hold up high and I cant trust my heart to see me though nor other hearts are trustworthy these days.
I’ll hold on as long as I can and I will not stop writing about the love I feel and the pain that comes with it till the day maybe love will have mercy on me and forgive this pain I create in my heart.
I ask you Paulo, who is ‘him’(love) to break me like this when I have done so much to make Him(love) happy in all the ways a young woman can make ‘love’ happy?
Do men know the meaning of love? I mean true love? Does it exist or is it only in my thoughts and the thoughts of great writers in a book?
How does one live without it Paulo, how?
yours truly,
Katy.
Hi Deb,
You frighten me litle… but I will take me in my hands, and it will be not easy, but we’ll continue “to spread the word and the light”
Love to you, Deb!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew, student
Hi Andrew,
Yes, I’m here. I’m ALWAYS here! Ha! :) What a long strange trip it’s been since that first posting that I wrote, that you commented on.
Day after day, lately, that message continues to be jammed into my head…that we are one…we all are one…there is no ‘other’…I feel it so strongly now, that I’m wondering if my life is about to come to an end. That’s what it feels like…as if I’m melding so thoroughly into complete union with all that is. It’s a peaceful, loving state and I almost no longer fear my death.
If everyone were to realize how connected we really, truly are, it would be like Heaven on Earth. Let’s continue to spread the word and the light!
Love to you all,
-Deb :) Who may not be long for this world! Ha! ;)
Loneliness is mystic, it is ambiguous; it is one’s worst fear at the same time one’s best solace. It hugs u when u shun urself and pinches u when u cry. I dread it at the same time, I realise that I live it.
Nikita
Debbie Holmes, USA
It’s you, I don’t believ it! You wrote:
“Dear Paulo,
I just received notification of your blog last night and read your postings.
I then had a dream about you.
In it, you were in a storm, (much like the one you described in one of your postings) trying to find shelter, as all of your fans followed you, while their outer garments were being blown about.
We, your fans, were scrambling to find our own garments and personal belongings, but they were all mixed in together with yours.
I realized, as I struggled to find my own, that any of these garments could be worn by any of us. We were all trying to find the same shelter, and all looking for our own personal garments.”
I talk to many peoples at the russian forum of Paulo Coelho… It’s like your dream… They trying to prove each other their beliefs. But it doesn’t matter who is right… The only thing I can do is support somebody if I can… Few day’s ago I recall your words, and now I see you here… It’s very strange.
Marry Cristmas and Happy New Year to everyone again!!!
Andrew, student ;)
Dear, dear Paulo,
Thank you so much for your Christmas Story, that was very welcome in these Winterdays. I carry the story with me.
I wish you, your wife, family and friends, readers/warriors of the Light, a very peaceful Christmas.
The wheel is turning, the Sun is born again, the Light is growing again. A time to say goodbye to everything we have to let go, a time to welcome the New. A time to reflect. A time to Love.
Love, Light, Live.
Mirjam, The Neterlands
Today is the day for about 2 000 years ago (according to one of the great religious believes off the world) the creator sent the first born child to us to tell us something about LOVE. We are still having great problems to handle the matter, even if we belong to those cultures which are very influenced of the Gospels. If we are stuck to realating love mostly to our personal and indivdual feelings we are with no doubt still going to have great problems for perhaps another 2 000 years, This is the day of thinking about next level of love, the universal love that have the force of bringing mankind to higher levels of existens and life.
All you need is love
Oh sir..
Thank you for sharing your Christmas story with me but above all thank you for sharing your thoughts with me..I admire your spirit and it is an honour to be in this blog reading..Iam so excited that I feel short of words to express myself..I just wish you Merry Christmas and may your inspiration be there till the last days of your life..I dare to say that i love writing and sometimes do write, to let myself free from everyday worries..I just wish that some day,some time,Iwill be able to express myself as imaginatively as you..
Dear Paulo,
Yesterday I was dreaming to meet you and 1 year ago I saw you in Paris but I recognize you to late. I was sad that I let this opportunity to meet you. And see, I got a mail form you. Coincidence, no I believe in this little ropes between us. And this afternoon I was in a bookshop where I discovered your new book ! That all in one day, I don’t feel alone ! I am happy that you have stayed a child that can excited for a his new book. Bic kiss and maybe I day w’ll meet. Do you come sometimes to Belgium ? I will never stop to try it (hihi !)
I want to thank you Paulo for giving me power to deal with this world. Your books have made a big impact on my life.
Speaking of loneliness, I met a girl two months ago, who instantly got me fall in love with her. We both had the same interests, the same kind of view of life. The connection that will last.
But both of us had planned a journey before all this happened. She left two weeks ago to New Zealand, and I’m leaving to Australia in two weeks for one year. It striked me hard when she left. The feeling of loneliness that seemed to be unbearable took me to the depths of human mind. I wept.
I’ve read many of your books before and after a week I remembered that I had bought The Pilgrimage already long time ago, but for some strange reason I never read it before now.
I was reading that book laying in my bed. After reading a while, there was some sentence, not any particular, that after I suddenly started to feel happiness. All the loneliness and sorrow was was gone in instant moment.
I put the book aside and was fulfilled with energy again. After finishing the book, reading about your way on the Road to Santiago, I realized, that I might find my own sword from Australia, or at least learn something important about myself and life itself while being there. My loneliness vanished, and if destiny allows, the girl will wait for me.
Markus
This subject of loneliness is something very close to me. Almost three years ago me and my girlfriend split up, we had had a very tumultious relationship for about 3 years, so the split was probably for the best.
Since then I have had two relationships, one quite serious lasting 18 months, but in all that time and even when I had the palpable feeling of love from the girls in these latter relationships. I continiously felt alone. I missed the girl from three years ago. An example of what I mean is that many times, when something wonderful happened in one of these latter relationships, some true feeling of love shown toward me or better shared by me…the first thing I immediatly wanted to do is call that old girlfriend to share my joy with, how ridiculous is that?
But there it is, I would feel isolated and alone in the middle of a beautiful moment. The moment tinged with a bitter thought.
The loneliness I felt at those moments were of my own creation, though I had no control over them. I still find myself with this prediciment, I wake most mornings from a dream of her, as I fall asleep when I become aware of my thoughts before sleep takes hold.
The oddest thing is that if I were to meet her again I wouldn’t even know her, or know what to say to her…she woukld be an utterly different person now three years later, its a long time with a lot of change in anyones life.
But who she was, and who we were, is rooted deep in my memory.
Thanks for you stories, they have helped me to brake some of the more damaging paths of thought in my mind, caused me to re-think, re-asses.
Dear Paulo,
I cherish the moments you share with us. I bask within your thoughts.
You are the doorway through which all can enter, to catch a glimpse of their own greatness, through the interconnectness of our souls. I pray that you always leave the door open.
Peace and love to you and all the fellow bloggers this holiday season.
Sincerely,
-Debbie :) Who reminds us all to expect…no, DEMAND miracles! :)
I have a cat it is a beautiful white pedigree Persian Chinchilla. But more importantly it was a gift from the love of my life.
Now my cat looks out of the window at the other moggys in the street. He longs to go out and sits on the window ledge and miaows to be let out.
I want my cat to be free to roam like the ones he sees. But he was expensive so someone might steal him, he’s also a bit strange so he may get lost or even worse he could be run over and killed.
Do I let him out and risk never seeing him again or do I keep him in his comfortable prison?
Lonliness is a choice.
My cat still wants to go out there and take the risk of his unknown despite the love and care I show him and my desire to keep him safe.
I am currently reading Veronika Decides To Die. I defy anyone to read it and not relate to that feeling of emptiness. That’s normal and madness is how much you are prepared to reveal.
Anyway does the cat get let out?
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, fellow warriers of the light. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Loneliness can be something wished as unwished. The wished is something chosen and therfore not a really loneliness as it doesen´t affect the matter of love for the individual. But the unwished is most likely a matter that includes a lack of love in it´s existens. So the hole thing is still a question about love. What causes the problem whith lack of love for a lot of human beeings? Thats a question.
with love from Richard
It gives me joy to read that you still get the same excitement and enthusiasm as you did 20yrs ago when you gave birth to “The Prigrimage”. The Child in you is still alive and running. It also gives me hope!
Love, Peace, and Light
Marie
on the autumn part ODE TO THE WEST WIND by P.B.Shelly…..
thanks for the story you sent me..i just cant wait to read it…
you make all your readers look so special which im sure no author can do..
I’am 22 but hardly young, I say this because I have seen many things, have done so much that I do not know any 22 year old that has done but if there is, then Im a fool for assuming that I’m the only one, and please forgive my ignorance for believing it so.
Paulo, My Dearst Beloved Paulo, I’m very glad to have you in my life, and reading your books always adds another moment in my little life, a moment worth living for, a moment that I always cherish. I write this to you with tears down my face that holds no secerts and tells a story that has no end but a lost soul that knows many good men and trusts no heart… a world of solitude and rage inside that drives me to think that death is my only salvation, an end to my aching heart… Peace, to find peace within me is to leave this mad world. I wonder if it will pass? Maybe it will pass? They say ‘its every young heart to feel these emotions and they will pass just you wait a little longer’… I’ll wait as long as my heart can take. I’ll take all the heartache Man throws at me and see if living is worthwhile. If I leave it will be but one reason for my departure, it will be for love. “what greater glory then to die for love”.
May you always be an inspiration for Mankind as you have been for me.
With all my love,
Katy.
I am thankful that your innocence desires its own continuance. Beautiful spirits find their way to embracing their own innocence, and in this humbleness, I find the pathway to the Divine so much easier to navigate. On the dawn of your ‘entering’ the world, how great that you chose to write here. This fills me with excitement. Your work is inspirational, and the self reflection that many bravely choose in creating such great works, and recieving such art feels to me, to be one of the most human ways of being. I am thankful for your honesty, and your gentle truths.
I have been finding my own way to the roots of my being these past months, and little did I know that I would be led back to the root of the root; my feeling of loneliness, of separation from others of this world, and I suppose though I am yet to fully feel its meaning, a percieved separation from the Divine. In my loneliness, I am being led to deep places, and dark shadows of myself that incite fear within me….I have been scared to sit with my loneliness, knowing that the way to honor myself and the Universe is to be willing to change. This work and its appearance on my path is one that I know the many struggle with, I am thankful to be sharing that. Muchas benediciones y amor desde mi alma a tuya….
Eve
I forget…
Mary Christmas!!! Happy New Year!!! :)
Babuchka & Iz Rossii
- Ya toge is Rossii!!!
I saw him (Coelho) on TV and uderstand that I don’t know him… Yes, I read his book, but it’s not him…
P.S. Oh, my english :(
MERRY CHRISTMASS TO EVERYONE!
Everyone is alone within himself/herself!tough no one is alone when he/she shares deep emotions and secrets with others.
[quote comment="792"]I have recently discovered your books which prompted me to write to you. At a time when I have been trying to hold onto hope, faith and belief in everything you have inspired me to do something which I feel is my destination. I have lived my life like a story and realise that is the journey I am required to take to get to my destination. Along the way I have searched for something real and several times caught glimpses of it, but it seems it is never mine to have. I am 34 and this year I am determined to sit and write, but as someone who is so private I need to overcome that to be able to. I work as a journalist which occasionaly brings me close but I am not there yet. You have brought me closer and there are very few people who have the ability to reach what is buried beneath so much crap. I envy your freedom but if today I can only journey through your life I hope one day it will lead me to my own. In a world full of weak and predictable you have inspired me. Live for as long as you can.[/quote]
A vy iz Rossii. Y vas rysskiy nickname!
That’s really splendidly!!!
Many times I thought about it’s human nature to be lonely during all our life… I mean, we belong to society, we have families, friends, colleagues but, finally, we are always face to face to our inner world, and each of us has moments when we feel lonely because there are no equal soul in the whole world… Today I want to be alone. I would like to hear my inner voice because I need to understand myself. But… Dear friends, I wish you Marry Christmas and Happy New Year! I wish you to feel loneliness very very seldom! Let’s try to stay in touch with our close people when we feel that loneliness sneaked up on without being seen. :-)
Marry Christmas!!!
I have recently discovered your books which prompted me to write to you. At a time when I have been trying to hold onto hope, faith and belief in everything you have inspired me to do something which I feel is my destination. I have lived my life like a story and realise that is the journey I am required to take to get to my destination. Along the way I have searched for something real and several times caught glimpses of it, but it seems it is never mine to have. I am 34 and this year I am determined to sit and write, but as someone who is so private I need to overcome that to be able to. I work as a journalist which occasionaly brings me close but I am not there yet. You have brought me closer and there are very few people who have the ability to reach what is buried beneath so much crap. I envy your freedom but if today I can only journey through your life I hope one day it will lead me to my own. In a world full of weak and predictable you have inspired me. Live for as long as you can.
Im not sure that loneliness is something that can be evaded by just claiming to yourself I am not alone. I am not even sure that loneliness is only a state of being alone. Many a times, it could be not being where you want to be or not having the company you want.
This is something that came out during one day of semi-depression during the middle of this year.
http://ebbruz.blogspot.com/2006/06/and-i-dont-wanna-be-alone.html
Take myself. I have a small circle (no, cant call it a circle, its more of a list) of friends mostly related to office. They are very much like me, atleast outwardly. Serious, Talk of serious stuff, do serious things which would be applauded. So that makes me a part of a like-minded gang, which should be enough to keep me from being lonely.
And I also have an few friends of the fun kind. But they always seem to be having much more fun in the same circumstances that I am in.
And I know inside of me that all I want to do is frolic. Have fun, laugh all the day, have fun and have fun. And of course not be taken seriously.
So Im confused. Outside people see me as this nerd guy. (and on my part, I end up shutting up in groups)And inside Im revolting against being taken seriously.
So, I end up in the position of Opal Mehta in Kaavya Viswanathans now infamous book. And the advice she offers is “you can only be something you are” nerd, geek, If thats what you’re made as. But what if I dont want to be that.
What if the kind of company i crave for isnt something I fit into. there I become lonely. and that loneliness cannot be shrugged away!
(I am not in a state of depression while writing this, just philosophising away my woes)
I believe there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. Sometimes, I feel lonely despite being in a crowd. Sometimes, I want to be alone when everything seems to fall apart and when I want to get away. It’s nice and relaxing being alone from time to time. During those moments, I realize one of the best companions I’ve ever had is myself.
Thanks dear Paulo for ur Christmas Story. I feel great seeing ur name in my Inbox! “Merry Christmas”
Dear ‘K’, May u have a blessed Christmas and New Year!
I am going home to celebrate Christmas. Back to home after 3 months…
Trvelling alone gives me time to get back to my self! I enjoy the pleasure of being alone those times…
But sometimes i wish, if there is someone dear to the heart is sitting by my side, to enjoy the silent journey..
To all the readers here… ‘May u all have the happiness, peace, love and the blessings of Christmas….
I really like this beautifully written post the fact that you’re so grateful and excited about your books even after so much success. No matter how many books you or one of my other favorite authors has written, I’m so excited and enthusiastic for the next one too!
Blessings of high be upon you. You are a champion of God and I honour your being here. In your feeling is the healing. Trust the moment and all that brings. With your courage, the healing power of acceptance you bring to the feelings that arise has the power to transform the lives of many.
In gratitude,
Neil
[quote comment="767"]My Mom is quadriplegic.
She fell down the stairs 3 years ago.
I have not seen her for 5 years.
She is back in Serbia.
I have not seen Serbia for 7 years.
Since then, my father died, my dog died and my house got sold.
I will be flying to Serbia for a visit on December 31st (yeah, I’ll greet the New Years in the airplane) and I have no clue what I will find…
Do I feel scared? AS HELL, the World replies, and I thought…. And talked… And felt such a lonesome I have never felt before. The lonesome in the ambiguity of the moment that will come. The rain keeps reminding my tears of their purpose and the wind fogging my brain.
I don’t know what I will find. Or not……
The voices tell me I should cry and talk and just follow the emotion that flows out of my Heart, but the very next moment it feels like my Heart will burst…… It’s so hard to predict, yet so weak to accept….
Do I think how everyone around me will react? I listen and the World replies of the possessions, current possessions that mean so much to me; my attachments; and whispers to me to Detach… Share, but remain detached…. Your shoes will be only once worn, and worn only by you, it says. You will only feel this emotion once, and it will be uniquely engraved in history. Detach, it repeats. Share, but don’t expect. Expectation is based on the unchangeable, and it every time fails…
I stay in this same moment as I type. I know that December 31st brings as some people would call it, an adventure, but for my Heart: a challenge… And I will ask it, my Heart, my World, at every step of the way what it feels….and if we have to break, we’ll break together…[/quote]
Let me say hello to everyone who has to spend these days alone, voluntarily or involuntarily. What I want to say is this: take your destiny in your own hand and get in touch with other people. You are not really alone.
Merry christmas everyone!
At Saint George’s Castle, September 2006
Yes sometime solitude can be made by our own choices and sometimes it’s against our well. But, I also thinks that we as human, we fear it and we link it to the “presence” of people that we truly love. It could be a little naughty adorable child that knows how to bring happiness to his entourage, it could be parents and it could be a lover.
The issue here is people do die and we still did not find a method to deal with it when it occurs.
Death is the major cause of loneliness. It is not being accustomed to routine and rejecting adapting to change because life is changing. It is not the memories those days build and we as human attach our souls to them.
It is that people meant to formulate their life with the components that keeps us a way from feeling loneliness even in it is hidden forms.
I heard that divorces and separation do happen because the heart beats of lovers’ changes by time until it reaches stages of “no interests”.
To redefine and priorities one life we need to build in it a “core”, that core can be love, art, children, noble mission in life …etc then people will start feeling their dynamicity and they change as life changes as the fallen leaves that all of us will never be the same again.
Yet, we still want to remember that change dose not mean replacing or deleting our own original spirit, I mean, once upon time we were children and children are adorable spontaneous angels that knows how to be full with joy and find happiness in its simplest way.
Be safe,
Suha Ayyash.
Thank you for sharing that particular moment with me! That moment was special to you and now it is special to me, thank you! I understand that moment because it is a moment of total awareness and clarity. It is a moment with you.
It is true that we can feel loneliness but it is also true that we are never alone – we are guided and guarded each and every moment of each and every day. Just as we choose to be alone we can also not choose to feel lonely – for we can always tap into that Great Spirit and He shall be there.
Again as always beautiful sentiments and as always you have given me another moment with me!
My Mom is quadriplegic.
She fell down the stairs 3 years ago.
I have not seen her for 5 years.
She is back in Serbia.
I have not seen Serbia for 7 years.
Since then, my father died, my dog died and my house got sold.
I will be flying to Serbia for a visit on December 31st (yeah, I’ll greet the New Years in the airplane) and I have no clue what I will find…
Do I feel scared? AS HELL, the World replies, and I thought…. And talked… And felt such a lonesome I have never felt before. The lonesome in the ambiguity of the moment that will come. The rain keeps reminding my tears of their purpose and the wind fogging my brain.
I don’t know what I will find. Or not……
The voices tell me I should cry and talk and just follow the emotion that flows out of my Heart, but the very next moment it feels like my Heart will burst…… It’s so hard to predict, yet so weak to accept….
Do I think how everyone around me will react? I listen and the World replies of the possessions, current possessions that mean so much to me; my attachments; and whispers to me to Detach… Share, but remain detached…. Your shoes will be only once worn, and worn only by you, it says. You will only feel this emotion once, and it will be uniquely engraved in history. Detach, it repeats. Share, but don’t expect. Expectation is based on the unchangeable, and it every time fails…
I stay in this same moment as I type. I know that December 31st brings as some people would call it, an adventure, but for my Heart: a challenge… And I will ask it, my Heart, my World, at every step of the way what it feels….and if we have to break, we’ll break together…
Heartfelt …..
Amen !! to the wish ‘I am like a child, and I am not ashamed to be so excited. I pray to God that He keeps me like that.’
Aditya
Being alone is different from being lonely. Sometimes, I choose to be alone, but then I do not feel lonely. I think, if you do not choose to be alone, but you are alone anyway, you can feel lonely very soon. Being alone can be very nice, it can give you time to think better about certain issues. There is nothing that distracts you. You find solutions for problems.
Something else: I have just realised, that there have been 7 good years and seven bad years in my life. The bad years came, because I had to learn from my mistakes, which I never really did. I resisted, didn’t want to change, but I lost my innocence anyway. That is, why it took me 7 years to accept and realise. These years are over now… I have become a different person, but I am also the same in some way. I say different, because I am not sure if it’s really better. The next 14 years will proove this…
Loneliness is a word to express the Pain of being Alone
and
Solitude is a word to express the Glory of being Alone
Tillich
Dear Paulo:),
I know you are very well for you are resting in Our Loving Father’s arms:). All I wanted to say is thank you: God has used you to spread His message of infinitely tender Love for all of us and The Alchemist is one of the reasons for which my faith has grown stronger and bolder, thank God. God bless you and yours forever:). You rock:):)!!!
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