The letter that I can’t answer is lying right here on my desk. It reached me through the efforts of a Dutch couple who sent me an e-mail in June 2006. I lent it no importance, and did not answer. At the end of that same month they wrote again, and again I paid no attention. And then came the warning phrased in more serious words:
“This is the last time we are asking you this favor. It is up to you to write to Justin or not. Or to put it better, it is up to your conscience. I got to know your books because he recommended them. Yours truly, Jacobus” (I shall omit his surname).
I read the text of the e-mail carefully: it says that Justin Fuller, prisoner #999266 at the Polunsky Unit, Livingston, Texas, will be executed exactly on my birthday, the 24th August. His lawyer, Don Bailey, has already been to all the appeal courts, and it looks like the cause is lost. They are not asking me to denounce the fact publicly, or to take some position on the case: they just want me to send this reader some comforting words.
I type Justin’s name in a search tool. I see his photo, then I discover that there is a page with the names of all those who are (or have been) in death row in Texas. I see his criminal record at www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/fullerjustin.htm
I write the letter. The week following my birthday, Jacobus writes to me once more: Justin received it, and answered me before he was executed. The letter is waiting for me in a hotel I usually stay at in a certain town, and that I used as the sender’s address.
Finally, at the end of October 2006, I stop at the hotel. I know that a letter from a man condemned to death awaits me. I know that he has already been executed. I collect the letter, enter a bar, and read the words from someone whom I will never be able to answer. Whom I will never be able to ask permission to publish extracts, but since we are talking about a true aberration of justice – death as an instrument of the State – I shall copy some parts:
“Dear Mr. Coelho:
“Death row is the arena where the policies of Power, Retribution and Violence are applied to a man using materials such as concrete and steel, until this man turns into steel and his heart becomes as hard as concrete. However, though steel can be hard, it can still be flexible, and though the heart can be transformed into concrete, it still beats. Beyond the concrete and the steel stands the man, his love of life, and the great principles that rule human beings.
“Your letter surprised me. And it is very strange that my transcendence (Justin always uses this term instead of “execution”) is to take place just on your birthday. Of course, I hope it does not take place, but we both know that life is always accompanied by death. In the USA they execute prisoners in the name of what they call “justice” without taking into account whether they can be well represented in court, the circumstances of their birth and their family environment.
“While I wait out the last appeal to the Supreme Court, I feel full of life and strong, and my spirit is completely free.
“If I transcend, I will finally be able to float in the wind and enjoy freedom. I have realized that although my body is imprisoned, my life has changed and my soul can still love, because all freedom is mental. Many people in this world, although they are on the outside of prison, are far more in bondage than I am.
“Only when these people come to understand that freedom is a state of the mind will they be able to really enjoy it.”
The letter that I couldn’t answer is much longer. It describes the relationship that we built through my books, and it wishes me and my family all the best. And now it sits on my desk.
The letter that I couldn’t answer, from a man condemned to death, arrested when he was 19 years old and executed when he was 27, contains not a word of lamentation: it speaks of freedom and life.
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when times come, there are those wrenches. Of stories and their meanings. Then one finds pathos and drama – of a young life and the reasons why he is there – should he be guilty. Should he be innocent? Then you would not want to reply to that letter – a crying stream you flow down – weeping upon the many stones that others would use as either stepping stones to cross you, or a chair to sit down upon and bathe themselves in your tears. You acn not reply to that letter. And for no reason when you were going to become a river of gurgling Joy and laughter – on your first or thousandth Valentine in your beloved’s arms – there comes a letter and you turn into a crying stream. Should he be innocent and you can not even answer that letter. very catching and very sad in so many ways!
You know there is still something that is bothering me
about Justin, Paulo.
It is the way he is being seen by society and judged as a criminal, when it is all well and good to go and send the troops abroad and kill each other in the name of your country whilst the fat cats at the top are dodging the draft – suddenly they have an urge to go and study or whatever; they break an ankle – meantime we are sending our sons and daughters (these days),with little or no training in some countries and the poorest ones are the ones that are enrolling the most, remember? being lured by some sort of a prize (monetary as a rule) at the front with lots of promises of a “sound future” on the way home (that never occurs by the way ) – well that is not right is it? One rule for them and another one for the others.
I can’t help thinking that if you don’t have a proper education which is supposedly one of the first responsibility of your government, the other alternative will be one of despair, drugs, etc and because we are tribal by nature, when the outsider arrives onto your turf your primal instinct will be to defend it.Without the proper tools, one important one that I see is learning to breathe in order to be able to control your emotions,… anything can happen.
Justin understood that well “In the USA, they execute prisoners in the name of what they call “Justice” without taken into account whether they can be well represented in court, the circumstances of their birth and their family environment.” Justin Fuller
Thank you for making us aware of that letter, it is very significant to me.
Love
hat can I write differently than what others have already written…I am speechless and wordless after reading this… Justin is really very optimistic and matured for his age where many of us at his age fear death which is inevitable.. What he says is absolutely true that soul is free to love and which is what we, your followers have learnt from your books…May he rest in peace….
Dear Mr. Paulo Coelho,
After reading this post, I was touched and I felt much appreciation for Justin’s optimism. Despite his terrible fate and the grave circumstances that surrounds him, he had known the meaning of life and came to realize the beauty of existence. I realized that it is so rare for a person to appreciate life when he is on the verge of leaving it. In our lecture, a dying person always undergo the 5 stages of grief when dying. That is in this order-denial,anger,bargaining,depression and acceptance. Maybe at some point before he died, he might have experienced these stages but then what makes it wonderful was how he had accepted his transcendence.In this way,he also became an inspiration to others to live life fully, just like when you also became his inspiration to make the most out of his life.Thank you for the inspiring post! It was truly enlightening :)
I believe that death and freedom are cousins, always going with a different family member, such as love, tragedy, and what not. I also believe that death and freedom becomes one after it is embraced. And to emphatize with someone who went to the growing pains of his soul, I undertand the inabilty to answer back. How can you send comforting words to someone who is forced to grow his soul in the most painful way?
Dear Sir Paulo,
i jus ‘d the pleasure of living the best of my life yesterday….it was another day of blessing 4 me…yess..n it was cos of u “The Alchemist”…When i was reading thru ur grand composition…an important gift to the Mankind…Oops..no no to the entire universe from the grain of sand to the mighty sun…also to those swt angels who s beside me now:)..i promised myself tht i’d gift a copy of tht to all i know…Thanking u ‘d be something tht s not fulfilling…i jus wanna say I respect n love u loads n loads from the bottom of my heart..May u LIVE LONGER N LONGER:)
Namaste Paulo,
I love your books and now I am reading your Warrior of Light site. And this article has brought forth soul tears. Thank you for your open heart. Thank you for the wisdom that you enable us to bring forth from deep within.
And thank you for sharing Justin’s story with us, that we too may know this gentle soul. For surely that is who he is.
His life, his death, is a gift to us all if we can open our hearts to receive it. His soul is at peace.
Bless you all for your comments. There are no right or wrong answers here. We each stand on our own unique path with the light shining all around us. We do the best that we can. And who can ever ask for more?
Peace,
Leona
AVC,
I can see where you think I contradict myself. I do not believe in killing, yet I support capital punishment. It is a contradiction. I wish I was a better writer, so that I could articulate what I need to say better. The best way I can put it, is again, if a human being murders (def of murder: Law. the killing of another human being under conditions specifically covered in law. In the U.S., special statutory definitions include murder committed with malice aforethought, characterized by deliberation or premeditation or occurring during the commission of another serious crime, as robbery or arson (first-degree murder), and murder by intent but without deliberation or premeditation (second-degree murder). to kill or slaughter inhumanly or barbarously) another human in this manner then I believe that capitol punishment is just. Yes it is killing, but do really think the Ted Bundy’s and Jeffery Domer’s of this world deserve to have life after the atrocities that they have committed? I do believe people can find redemption, but they have to be held accountable by the law. Otherwise, we have anarchy. So, I am sorry that we disagree on this, but hey, it is all good, that is what being human is all about. Talking, discussing, learning, and listning to enable us to grow.
Rion
Dear Paulo,
I blieve the reason you could not answer this letter was that it was not your mission to answer it, it was your mission to hand it over to me, to us…so that his words could be heard although after his death.
Some people die unheard for ever, but his words was ment to be heard even by me, who never know him, and that’s wonderful that he had such strong will and such laud voice. Not too laud but still comparing to many others he had the chanse to use one of the portals of the existance power to spread out his energy.
You know, you might even never read this message but I’m trying my chance, too. I call you a portal of the power of existance, or simply a mean of commiunication or a compiler for God!! your words are heard laudly while you are still alive, which is a great opportunity and responsibility as well. God used you once, to put me in the write track in my life, and once again to help me bear with lots of difficult changes that I went through. He also used your words to keep me going with no regrets as I have always been.
I have a question for you, too. I have read the persian translation of your book : Alchemist2, but I have not heard anywhere els about this second edition of alchemist. It was so realistic and wonderful, like your other books (I have read them all). Was it yours?
By the way my last name is ZAHIR.
Good Luck
Ladan Zahir
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