The Wounded by Love Agreement

By Paulo Coelho

GENERAL PROVISIONS:

A] Considering that it’s absolutely correct the saying that states that “all is fair in love and war”;

B] Considering that in war we have the Geneva Convention, adopted in August 22nd of 1864, that determines the fate of the wounded in battlefields whereas there is no agreement that was promulgated until this day that deals with the wounded of love, who are much more populous;

IT IS HEREBY DECLARED THAT:

ART. 1 – All lovers, male or female, are now being notified that love, besides being a blessing, is also something very dangerous, unpredictable and able to cause serious damages. Consequently the one who decides to love has to know that his body and soul are exposed to many types of wounds and will not be able to blame the partner in any moment, since the risk is equal to both.

ART. 2- Once a lost arrow from the bow of Cupid hits a person, that person has to immediately ask the archer to dart another arrow in the opposite direction, so that one will not fall prey to the wound famously known as “non-reciprocal love”. In case Cupid refuses such act, the Agreement here promulgated demands that the wounded immediately retrieves the arrow from his heart and throw it in the bin.

Note:In order to achieve this effect, the wounded has to avoid phone calls, internet messages, flower deliveries, or any other act of seduction, since these acts may achieve short term results, but are inevitably erased by time. The convention declares that the wounded has to quickly seek the company of other people in order to control the obsessive thought “it’s still worth to fight for this person”.

ART. 3 – In case the wound comes from third parties, meaning, the loved one is interested in someone else who was not expected in the pre-established plans, it is hereby expressly forbidden any act of revenge. In this case, it is permitted the profuse use of tears, some punches on the wall or pillow, talks with friends where the wounded can freely insult the ex-partner, allege his complete lack of good-taste, but refraining to lessen the partner’s honor.

NOTE: The agreement determines that art. 2 can also be applied: the wounded may seek the company of other people, preferably in places where the partner does not dwell.

ART. 4 – In case of light wounds, hereby classified as small betrayals, fulminating passions that do not last long, transitory sexual disinterest or dysfunction, one has to quickly and abundantly apply a medicine called Forgiveness. Once this medicine applied, one must never look back and the subject must be completely forgotten, never being mentioned as an argument in eventual fights or moments of wrath.

ART. 5 – In the case of definitive wounds, also called “brake-ups”, the only medicine capable of truly healing one’s heart is Time. It’s pointless and ineffective to find consolation with fortune-tellers (that will always allege that the lost love will return), romantic books (in which the endings are always happy ones), TV soap operas or other similar things. One has to suffer with intensity, completely avoiding the use of drugs, painkillers, prayers. Alcohol is only allowed in moderation, never surpassing more than two glasses of wine per day.

FINAL PROVISION: the wounded of love, contrary to the wounded of armed conflicts, are neither victims nor torturers. They have chosen something that is part of life and therefore they have to face the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And for those that were never wounded by love, they will never be able to say: “I lived”. Because they haven’t.

Free Distribution – you can have the e-cards by going to the photo album “Wounded by Love Agreement”
Copyright by Paulo Coelho

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Comments

  1. Suhail Gull says:

    it z really a medicine for the wounded.
    But the wound itself z an ecstay,an addiction.
    The wound of love z worth eternity

  2. rose says:

    I amaze by the representation of love at all.

    I also fell inlove with a guy that I doesn’t know if he felt the same way too. I spent many days and nights thinking how to cure this broken heart of mine. Everytime the pain goes stronger and everyday my feelings for him goes deeper. I tried to forget him but I still end on missing him more. I love him. I know he will always be.. But now, I understand that it is not important to get away from this feeling rather accept that it will always be part of my life.

    i miss him a lot…

  3. Olta Ana says:

    LOVE MEANS TO LET YOUR BELOVED FREE. IF HE WILL BE BACK TO YOU, IT MEANS THAT HE HAS ALWAYS LOVED YOU, IF HE’S NOT BACK TO YOU, IT MEANS THAT HE HAS NEVER LOVED YOU.

    It seems that love between a man and a woman is the most selfish one, but that’s its own mystery. God knows why he has sent it US.

    I just have learned that to be able to understand it is to feel it completely and be wounded by it, just like life does.
    BUT I THINK THAT IF WE TRY TO NOT HATE OR NOT DEPEND ON THE ONE WE’VE LOVED HEALING OUR WOUNDS, AND LOVING AGAIN WILL BE EASIER.

    I am that kind of person that just can’t live without love and being in love. I’ve had a lot of wounds but every time hope that next time I would find somebody better, it has helped me healing very fast. The last time I got hurt, it was the worst wound I ever had, but this time I thought I would never find a better one. I don’t know that yet, but I learned that Love is so big, so mysterious, that is worth to never stop feeling it. It will keep surprising, just be open to it.

    1. Mandy says:

      I recently experienced my first real wound of love. And absoloutley agree with what you have written. I am currently in that phase (waiting for him to return to me, to prove that our love is real, and that he really does love me)
      Prior to experiencing this wound, I never appreciated our love, our love was turning into hate… and it was this hatred, that lead us to something so unforgiveable.
      I hope you find true love soon… and I hope mine will return to me, stronger and mroe beautiful than ever before.

    2. Olta Ana says:

      Dear Mandy,
      I m so sorry for you and your wound of love, and I really hope for you to get healed as soon as possible. Pain does make us stronger, but still it hurts.
      I am going to tell you a funny “coincidence”.
      You see my sister and her boyfriend were going through difficult times a few days ago, and they broke up the same day Paulo posted this post. But anyway two days later the turned together and now everything it’s all right.
      And about your love if it is real as you might believe, don’t worry it will be back and even stronger, but even if in case this doesn’t happen I wish and advice you to not be upset.

      I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE IT WASN’T THE CASE TO MENTION THIS IN MY COMMENT ABOVE BUT THE ADVICE THAT I GIVE TO MY FRIENDS OR OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE WOUNDED BY LOVE IS TO NEVER FORGET ABOUT THEMSELVES.
      BECAUSE YOUR OWN SELF IS THE ONLY WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND YOU BETTER AT LAST.
      AT FIRST WHEN I GOT WOUNDED I USED TO NEVER LET GO MY SELF INTO DESPERATION AND KEPT HOPING. BUT WHEN YOU LEARN TO LOVE FOR REAL, THE WOUND IS EVEN DEEPER AND HARDER TO HEAL. USUALLY PEOPLE USE TO MAKE TWO DIFFERENT CHOICES :
      1) START HATING AND PROMISE THEMSELVES THAT THEY WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN, SO THAT THEY’LL NEVER GET HURT AGAIN.
      2) KEEP LOVING AND HOPING, BECAUSE THEY NEED LOVE AROUND THEM.

      ANOTHER ADVICE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THEM IS TO TRY TO NEVER HATE, EVEN/ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HURT YOU. DO NOT TURN THEM INTO AN ENEMY. JUST FORGIVE FORGET AND MOVE ON, LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE WASTED ON HATRED, AND TOO LONG TO BE LIVED WITH NO HOPE.

      To be honest I don’t dear to give them this last advice, even if I know that it might be the best one that I can give to them, but it still has to be learned step by step on our own, and just a little help. Saying those words, giving that advice to them it would be just like telling a beautiful fairytale which is gonna get lost in their memoir next day.
      Mandy, I really am looking after true love but, as I sad to a friend once, I doesn’t matter if to the end of my life I will not find it. For me it is enough to hope, but even never forgetting that I m already surrounded by love. Sometimes, by getting wounded and healed we gain peaces of our selves which we didn’t knew we had, and most important, we start seeing how much love do we really have. Our friends, parents, or whoever.

      I hope your wound is not that deep, and that that you can get your love back again.

  4. Hajnalka Kovacsevics says:

    Why should you look outside, or in another person? Love is within us, which means that we are the divine love. Just let your true Self-shine, so others can see it, connect with your true self! Shine so you can make realize those of you who haven’t looked it properly in them self yet. It was always there, you were born with it because its YOU the rest of is just mind games! YOU are the LOVE, which is permanent, therefore when we feel the pain of what we called “broken heart” it is truly the pain of our disconnection with ourselves and the fact that another person is involved at the time when we experience this, that doesn’t mean they are the ones who caused it. Let your mind relax calm down to see your true self. Open the your shell inside you and let its true beauty to shimmer through!

  5. Your Agreement is Balm to Broken hearts – soothing and cool!

    “But there is a flame burning
    In my heart of hearts
    However feeble it may be
    It will die only with me
    It gives me warmth during the coldest winter
    And light in the darkest of nights.
    Even if you can’t make it burn brighter
    For heavensake don’t extinguish it.
    Let the flame burn forever.”

    – from my poem Flames Burn Forever

    1. siena says:

      love is like a flame that never dies… your poem is so beautiful. i like it a lot… thanks for sharing it with us.

  6. sneha kothawade says:

    Seek love, believe in love, pray for love, wait for love – sound like so overused phrases which people describe to justify their materialistic pursuit for an unrealistic kind of love. Get real guyz!

    If you agree enough with me, plz give it a thought for your next book :p

    1. Marijke Ludewig says:

      I just took as much as came along on my path. And gave 10 times more back. Of course I got hurt on the way, of course I have wounded two persons deeply, because we loved each other so much.
      When they do not evolve with me, it is a lost case if they don’t accept these changes in me. The last time I did not accept that I was just some doll put away in the fridge, for next time when he would feel like being kind and caring to me again, on his terms. He wouldn’t change his way of living, addictions to wine and game. He became my Zahir, and I had to let go, for me and for him. In french we say : mieux vaut être seule que mal accompagnée. Better being on your own than being in a wrong partnership. Thanks for thinking this through for us, it is very useful, so many people suffer, I will spread it around.

  7. sneha kothawade says:

    I am a 21 yr old environmentalist/socialist..and I engage myself with “real” problems more..and it becomes almost frustrating for me when all that my friends can think about is their “love life” ..and if they think any ahead than that..they reach “self- imrovement”..
    Since your writings are worshipped on both these matters..I would like to share my views derived after counselling a thousand friends..

    In today’s materialistic way of thinking..we are driven by “ambition to achieve”- earn enough to get a new car, a new house, a new dress.. Sadly many people today approach love with a similar will – to achieve, get the best partner who cares and gives peace and a this and a that.

    But we forget, unllike a thing- human is a human. So a person who will love will also feel angry and frustratd and will fight too. But then people perceive this as non-love.
    Even if I concede that fights are not part of love..one must atleast not negate that fights are not a part of life…they are, very much! So lets not be unrealistic about it. Its not necessary to be 24×7 smiling to feel happy and satisfied.

    And I say this with most emphasis that – love and self-improvement are things which “happen”. And they happen while you are doing your other work. If you do good work in life- i mean socially good- you will unknowingly earn the love and the state of self-actualisation. All you have to be is accepting when it knocks your door.

    I am in a committed relationship since 3 years now. Blessed in love. touchwood.

  8. Rose says:

    Vi esta publicacion y me llego a tiempo pq me rompieron el corazon hoy!! Gracias Paulo por tus lindas palabras!! Y tambien puedo decir q e vivido pq realmente e amado!

  9. cel says:

    i agree but said is easier than done. just need to ask ownself 1 qn…u are the one who love or to be loved. maybe u might not agree with me but i think the one who love will get the hurt. cos u always give and seldom receive and if that bother, u will tend to get hurt becos u are human. ppl always take things for granted. only when they lose sth then they realise and regret. when u see ur frenz in troubled, u can give good advises but when the same problem happen to u, haha u react the same way like ur frenz. aren’t that funny. i agree time is the best medicine.

  10. Dwi says:

    Dear Mr.Coelho,
    I just signed the agreement both yours and my company. The wounded for ART.5 reason..What I need to do is recover my brain, get one step behind, take a deep breath ….cheers !(however)

  11. Ivana says:

    el amor hay que “vivirlo” sin miedo: se deben tener celos, se debe discutir, se debe compartir, no hay que guardarse nada, porque ahi es cuando empiezan los problemas serios…

  12. Thelittleprince says:

    when love is ove there’s no more pain…

    1. chery says:

      U never fail 2 amaize me with ur deep thoughts and superb sense of analysis and knowledge off the deepest human emotions.
      Allow me to raise my hat to u dear sir.
      I totally agree with all of the above especially ARt2.
      I truely believe that there is not even one single heart that have not been broken, hence i strongly recommend evey one to read this and try honesly to apply it.
      But i differ with u in one point, in case of betrayal wether big or small i tend to drop the guy right away and dont give him the honor of mentionning his name with my lips.
      I forgive him, tell my self i’m not what he needs then i forget all about him, pls tell me what u think of that.
      Pls we need a new book it’s been so long now since the winner stands alone, and i miss having a new wonder in hand
      Love u always, for ever ur fan,
      Chery

  13. Poolah says:

    I just broke up with my boyfriend. 3 months. And it was all because of some petty thing. It was and is devastating that something so good and special had to end that way. It’s so timely for this to be published and shared!! I was surprised to see it on Facebook. I had nightmares all night about my ex!! I still feel and care for him a lot. But the pass four days… ended up with the understanding that we don’t want to fight more. And so, despite the fact that yesterday was horrible for me, I was surprised at myself when I finally had the courage to greet him to a conversation that started out positively and ended on a “partially” happy note – good bye’s are never easy. But the positivity was flowing that I did not want to spoil it at all. I still care for him… But if I guess there are some situations when no matter how much you wanna work it out, it cannot be done and you just have to move forward… Thank you Paulo for these verses. Always inspiring. I just got a copy of Warrior of the Light.

    1. Mandy says:

      I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago as wel… for reasons I will not mention, and like yourself, I experienced the sleepless nights, drenched pillows in tears and nasal secretions.
      However, I believe, you only fall in love once, and that our love was not appreciated and cherished while we had it.. so it needed a massive wake up call for us to engage in a journey of self discovery because I believe we have to become better individuals before we can become better lovers. Hope is a wonderful thing, and I have hope that our love will reunite, stronger and more beautiful than ever before.
      I hope you are also, able to experience love of the truest nature.

  14. maya says:

    dearest Paulo….love is a great bless & a great curse…im nt in love…&i’vent been hurt before, but my heart is sooo broken & my soul is wounded…coz im looking for love..im waiting to love & be loved,waiting to to heal my lonely heart with love,& im ready for cost,to be hurt or wounded..coz at the end i know that our love ‘ll help us get over our troubles & ‘ll give us a reason to forgive…i hope that each two lovers sign ur agreement from the moment they confess their love to each other……..i wish u a very blessed happy life.

  15. Cris says:

    i love this Paulo!
    i agree!
    Love is powerful and Love is everything!
    cheers to more youthful topics like this!
    God bless your good heart!

  16. SIEMPRE ME HA GUSTADO Y LO HE ENCONTRADO DIVERTIDO Y MUY CREATIVO. OJALÁ SE RESPETASE ESTO Y FUESE TOMADO EN CUENTA LLEGADO EL CASO.
    A LOS HERIDOS POR AMOR CUANTO ANTES CAMBIAR ESTA EMOCIÓN NEGATIVA POR UN NUEVO AMOR PORQUE COMO DICE PAULO EN “A ORILLAS DEL RIO PIEDRA ME SENTÉ Y LLORÉ” EL AMOR NO SE MUERE SÓLO CAMBIA DE LUGAR.
    UN BESO

  17. rima says:

    dear Paulo …. its so wonderful what you say….. alone your writings are wound healers…… …. i hope chocolates are not considered as drugs because they help soothing the heartaches…..
    finaly the wounds can heal… but the scars will be there forever…..
    but i know
    “I lived””…..

  18. Ngozi RA says:

    Powerfully, Powerful!!! I was sitting in the stillness in the dawn of the morning, today….when I began to ponder of the intention of loving another…..I a humbled by the universal pattern of thought and the writer of this word.

    Blessings, love and light to you Paulo!!!

    Empress RA

  19. patriab says:

    Gracias

  20. Cecilia says:

    very well said. =)

  21. moni says:

    dearest Paulo

    time cant heal the wounded heart .i cant still forget my love after 5 years!!!
    but he easily does!!
    the world is so crual for real lovers….

    1. Dea says:

      Dear Moni,

      I think the reason why u cant forget ur lover is because u dont let him go out of ur life. If u let him go, I’m sure u can forget him and start a new love.

      ^^

    2. moni says:

      Dear Dea
      how can i let him go out of my life?he is in my heart and brain..Although I know he didnt really love me.thats so complicated…
      I cant fall in love with some one who is now in my life and really loves me and do every thing for me.
      i think Love = pain if you cant reach your love and will ruin your whole life,and if you reach ,you are a lucky person!

  22. Jahy says:

    I agree! Nicely said! ;-) ALL happens for a reason and one should not hit ourselves in the head because a relationship it’s over, but SMILE because it happened! ;-) Besides, people come to our lives, for a REASON, A SEASON OR A LIFETIME…and if there are no longer with us is because there were one of the 1st two choices…obviously! This means that their purpose was already met in our lives and had 2 therefore return 2 fulfill their own soul’s destiny!
    IT’S ALL IN THE MIND!

    1. Rana says:

      Absolutely! I so believe that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetim, and we should know how and when to let go…