Dear Readers,
I’m planning to do an inventory of normality.
I would like you to help me in listing what, in the view of society, is considered “normal” even if it may appear absurd to us.
Thank you for your collaboration on this little research of mine that I may use in a future column.
Love
Paulo
Normality’s inventory
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I believe it is normal for one to look back on their lives and not be happy, or even satisfied, with what they have done.
This I know from my grandparents and parents.
It is also normal for the parents to tell their child this same thing, and to not make the same mistakes that they did, but the child never really listens. Thus repeating the pattern.
It is normal to love deeply; for a person, for a religion, even for an object in some cases. Manic love is normal.
And waking up at the crack of dawn every morning even though we don’t want to, is normal. Whether we like it or not.
These are my thoughts. :)
it is normal to think that we are all different that our needs are more important than everyone else’s it’s normal to think that what we have to say is so much more important that what we need to hear it’s normal for us to group and label each other and it’s normal to want to be in such a group even if that group is the anti group and it’s normal not to talk to others outside of your group but most importantly to me at least whats become normal is unspeakable but that might just be because i work as an addictions counselor? my normal is people that can’t stand the normal so they numb their bodies and brains to avoid it at all costs
I think the word “normal” is still pretty relative, since social and cultural norms vary across cultures. But there have been some consistencies, which–when taken from the viewpoint of higher spirituality–are totally absurd and yet totally accepted. Here are my Top Ten:
1. To engage in “holy war,” or to kill for the sake of defending one’s religion. No true religion would advocate killing.
2. To use religion, government, media, Big Business, or any other powerful institutions to suppress, oppress, or persecute others in the guise of “protecting national interests or the common good.”
3. To ban sex (which is a potentially sacred act) and approve of violence (which can NEVER be sacred in any form) in media for children.
4. To ban a long list of abused substances EXCEPT tobacco and alcohol.
5. To heavily tax the middle and lower class while allowing the upper class to get away with tax shelters and other such mechanisms.
6. To glorify thinness, “perfection,” and many other physical things that are not only shallow but are also potentially dangerous for young girls.
7. To tolerate philandering among men because “boys will be boys.”
8. To push people to go further in their careers but not to deepen their lives and relationships.
9. To push children to be what their parents want them to be, and not what would allow them to reach their highest potential.
10. To think that the mind, the body, and the soul are separate things, and to abuse the body with so many unnatural substances (i.e., medicines) that not only make us dependent on the giant pharmaceuticals, but that also dull our senses and further separate the physical body from our thoughts and emotions.
Dear Paulo
Normal comes from the latin norma, a carpenter’s square.It came to mean conforming to a standard.
Expectations of normality affect everyone, but they always affect the marginalized the most.
Normal is not something to aspire to, it is something to get away from.
In soul level we are all one -and let it be so.
Now it is time to jump from ego-land to lego-land.
Thank you & LOVE to all KILI
Tres cosas que en la sociedad son normales y a mi me parecen absurdas:
1ºQue el matrimonio sea para toda la vida, podria ser por 7 años y renovable por mas tiempo en caso de querer permanecer con la misma persona.
2ºQue los curas no se casen, cuando el estar con otra persona les daría una estabilidad en su vida.
3ºPensar que una persona espiritual no pueda pensar en el sexo, o por ser espiritual no pueda tener deseo sexual, cuando es un componente natural de las personas.
4ºPensar que cuando estas con una persona es tu propiedad privada, cuando sabemos que nadie pertenece a nadie.
5ºQue un niño tenga que crecer en una familia con un padre y una madre, cuando lo importante es que se desarroye en un entorno de amor sea cual sea, me refiero a las adopciones que muchos no aceptan que un matrimonio gay adopten.
6ºNo considerar la elección de un enfermo terminal que no quiera seguir viviendo o cualquier enfermo, paraplégico que así lo decida.
7ºPensar en no cambiar lo establecido por miedo, cuando de todos es sabido que el hombre no permanece estático que va cambiando con el tiempo.
8ªSer individuales cuando todos sabemos que necesitamos de los otros.
9ªApoyar una guerra, cuando todos sabemos que donde se crece es en la paz.
Confío en un mundo mejor y que cada uno de nosotros aportemos alguna idea.
Normality (as embraced by society: school/university/marraige /children/ career )is for the unenlightened, spiritually numb / dumb individuals…. it is they who deem the path taken by those who seek to satify the soul as absurd.
To be alive and kicking that could be normal part of the society. Before my birth, when I go through the process called living and when I am gone the normal part of society existed, existing and it will.
normality= adjusting our trueselves to other people’s standards (and that’s pathetic)
Normal é ser diferente;
É sermos nós mesmos.
Beijos,
Mari Raphael.
It is such a stimulating question. I did not read all comments but they are enjoyable.
Many things are normal in society while it should not. The most annoying to me are:-
1.Talking and smiling to people that we don’t like even when nothing comples us to do so. Pretending that we agree and like them while in their back we talk bad about them. Why can people just stay away from people they do no like? it is not bad to disagree with others. it is ok to announce that we do not like x or z.
2.Making generalization. like saying,”…like the American people”, or saying that someone is with such bad or good characteristics just because he belongs to certain country, or town, or family, or any group of people. The same as descriping a whole nation with one quality, and judging the whole nation based on the actions of few, or based on wrong media, or sterotypes.
And it is normal when some people talk in a conversation and one of them make such unfair judgement, no one says to him/her it is not fair and it is injustice.
Dear Paulo,
what came to my mind first after reading your question is this:
1. society considers as normal that women are housewives and men are wage-earners and women depend on them. Even though we live in 21st century opposite sexes are still not egual. I don’t think that women are the same as men but it seems to me silly than it is still normal that person can’t do something what he/she is interested in and what he/she is good at just because it is not appropriate for his/her sex.
2. another thing which is normal mainly in western society is obsession with weight. Human body needs to be fed properly every day. It’s natural. However todays tendency is to be slim, even completely skinny. Many young people are starving to achieve what is by society called “ideal body”.
3. the last thing which came to my mind is that normal for society is when you’re brough up by both parents – father and mother. When you’re brought up in single-parent family it seems to others that you couldn’t have got enough love and you must miss something very important in your life. I personally was brought up just by my mother and she did her best for me. I’ve never missed father and I suppose it was better this way than if we lived also with him and my parents would be arguing all time.
That’s all for now. However I’m sure I’ll find something more because this is an interesting topic and I’ll think about it for long time undoubtedly.
Lots of love,
Radka
Everything is normal until you are aware of yourself.
Some “not normal” things in the past that now seems “normal” because everybody is doing it (but for me, is absurd)…
1) divorce or annulment
2) pre-marital sex and abortion
3) same sex marriage
4) body and face operation enhancements
5) sickness like Cancer, Tumor, Aids, and the likes
Some “not normal” things now that seems will become “normal” in the future (but for me, is absurd)…
1) three-some/four-some sex
2) cloning
3) multiple marriage
4) euthanasia and mercy killing
5) occultism
Yes! I think, “normality” or “abnormality” of things depend on acceptance, practice, and “commonality” of the majority. What is abnormal now may become normal in the next few years. What is absurd now will soon become abnormal, then, will become normal in the future. There might also be some instances that what is normal in the past will become abnormal in the future (e.g. arranged marriage). I think, normal-abnormal-absurd is cyclic thing as life is evolving…
Yajna, hi, & love :) being abnormal is UBER fun heehee, and i could NEVER hurt a child…children have with them the promise of life!
Paulo just a few more normality things from me tonight before the hiatus:
41. to live in the past
42. to treasure good memories
43. to prefer wealth to poverty
44. to listen to authority (apparently)
45. the need for personal space
46. loving your books! (a widespread epidemic.. a good thing)
47. having someone/something to love
48. bathing every day
49. celebrating birthdays
50. marrying for love
Reading many of the answers to the question ´what is normal?´, something struck me.
Most of you produce lists of things that are so, but should not be so. Things that ´society´/public opinion/tradition prescribes as normality, but you think they are abnormal.
Actually, from all of these responses, it seems to me that it´s becoming more and more normal to want to be abnormal. To stand out, as somebody who challenges the existing norm.
´Normal´ in our postmodern culture is to come against every norm and standard that´s accepted; normal is to discuss every small thing in life, not to just follow common sense or intuition but to argue and re-think everything that has been that way for ages.
Most of the time, I am like that, too. But every now and then I realize how tiring it is, and how much life is for living, instead of analyzing…(Hope you get the point.. Sometimes one understands oneself really well, but do others??
;-)
Love, a Dutchie
Normality I what people of society do, what they don’t do seems not to be normal; as you mentioned in “Veronika Decides to Die” about type machine and clock.
Thank you for giving us another interesting opportunity to share our thoughts.
I think the base of what we consider as normal often comes from our parents and the environment we grew up. So, it is really hard to name the names or even to put into words. Since I see other people already list many of what I think as normal in our society, I just list one here.
Which is, “to automatically believe “participating in charity is good.”
I just feel that in the name of “normality”, nowaday we are almost obsessed with the idea of “Charity” without really thinking it through. Without really knowing what you are doing, even your true good intention would either end up not helping the cause, or be backfired and you might be the one who gets totally burned out by it.
So, not only the case of charity, I think we all have to be careful with any conception of “normality” that is created only by logical sense.
There a lots of things our society think is normal and i think is ridiculous. For exemplo, When i was in college i had a male friend who was distressed and depressed because he was 21 years old and finishing college but did not have a girlfriend, better he said: “I’m not engaged to marry!” and i said, so what? and he insisted “I’m 21 years old!”. Pityfull…Get married is considered to be normal and last time i checked the number of divorces in this country was anything but…What’s the point? By the way, I’m married but I’m also a native of Brasil.
1) Striking children with belts when they misbehave is normal.
2) Losing one’s temper over trivial events in life is normal.
3) Accepting defeat is normal.
4) Giving up on dreams is normal.
5) Accepting injustice is normal.
6) Doing nothing instead of something is normal.
7) Looking down on people that are different is normal.
8) Letting the worst of people blot out the best is normal.
9) Living a life of banal medocrity is normal.
10) Losing sight of what’s important in life is normal.
11) Eating meals when not hungry is normal (breakfast, lunch and dinner)
12) Getting a nine-five job is normal.
13) Cursing either science or religion is normal.
14) Having a white picket fence with 2.5 children, while living in the suburbs is normal.
15) To curse love is normal.
16) To be spiteful, miserly and bitter is normal.
17) To doubt one’s abilities is normal.
18) To have a dysfunctional family is normal (85% of families qualify as such, google it)
19) To be a wasteful, consumer based materialistic citizen is normal.
20) To be apathetic is normal (apathy is the opposite of love…not hate because hate is merely love inverted where apathy is nullified sensation)
21) To be a fundementalist ‘anything’ is normal (In terms of politics, religion or society)
Being normal… isn’t worth it. Stigma is better than living with these tenants.
Thanks for bringing up the subject. If I can think of anything else I’ll let you know.
Peace and Love.
-CNU
Dearest Paulo
I’ve thinking.. Who decided what exactly is normal anyway? Just because most of society were living very similiar type lives, and they teach their children that and so on, we end up with things that a redeemed to be ‘normal.’ its rather silly because each person is their own person and it just forces or rather challenges them to persue things that are not for them. I realise that i don’t really know what normal is, but i do know whats considered not normal. Its not normal to do whatever you feel like in a moment, like walk backwards or sit upside down. Its not normal to talk to animals for the fun of it, and name your appliances. (i don’t actually talk to my appliances, lol lol). I know its not normal to sing badly on purpose for fun. I know its not normal to sleep during the day and be awake at night. I know its not normal to have an active imagination, and think about things like, imagine if the world was made out of apple juice, or if you were to be a toe, who’s and which toe would you be? I know its not normal to not actually listen to the media about everything and make up your mind for yourself. I know its not normal to learn about other religions so you can make up your own mind as to what path you like to follow. I think a big part of being normal is the manner at which you think, and what you think of. Most people don’t open their minds to bizare possibilities, and crazy theories. They just stop themselves and think.. ‘thats crazy.’ Most normal people think in a line, not laterally.. I just think if they really happy with who they are like that, then its great, but if its prevented them from really experiencing themselves and life, like in most cases, i think they should consider change, just for themselves. Me- i simply love being abnormal. :)
Sorry i couldn’t be of more help.
Thank you for being.
Yajna
Serene,
I agree with most of what you said.. Except for number 6. Doctors only make babies cry if they are not crying, to make sure their lungs are open properly, and to see that they are physically fine. There are different reasons why babies cry, the most common is because of the drastic change in temperature.. I’ve been thinking, its very symbolic though, in order to make sure a baby is capable of living, that it can breathe, we had to inflict some sort of pain. Most people spend their lives being afraid of in pain, yet when they are born, to make sure they can live, we inflict pain. Just shows- whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
love Yajna
These are some of the things that I see others as believing is the norm, but I don’t.
1. To marry someone you may not truly love but because they have money, are accepted by family, will help you fit into a certain social scene.
2. To consider someone worthy because they are rich in material things.
3. Not to mention anything concerning religion. Not to follow a religion. I think its considered very uncool nowadays but in some ways I can understand people not wanting religion coming up in conversation because some people become real preachers.
4. To consider some people better than others because of the colour of their skin etc. To me this is the ultimate in bizarre.
5. To consider some people better than others because of their status, position of employment. (an old workmate was considered a liar by a boss because she accused a person in a high position of molesting her)
6. To sleep with people you don’t love. (I was nagged and nagged by friends that I was holding on to something unreal by believing that I only wanted to “be with” someone I truly loved.
7. To drink alcohol on social occasions even if you don’t want to.
8. If a woman dresses sexily she is asking to be sexually assaulted and that men cannot be held accountable for their actions.
Kathleen xx
as beauty normality always lies in the eye of the observer and as it is in so many cases it would be easier to say what something is not. in my opinion the society i am living in considers following to be normal:
not to believe that everything in life is possible
not to enjoy being alone sometimes
not to be honest
not to have a smile upon your face
not to read between the lines
to do one thing after the other
to take everything as secure, it does not matter if it’s coming from the media, the parents or the teachers in school
not to think to much about what is going on around you
to have a good relationship to your family
to deny mysticism
to abandon your dreams for your family and your partner
to accept life as it is although everything is going wrong
to obey unwritten laws
not to show any feelings
to say I’ll try
to have hobbies like playing piano or guitar not didgeridoo or ukulele, or playing tennis not doing archery
to have a cat not a rat
women don’t know anything about soccer
to think famous people are different as the guy from next door and to treat them as if they were gods
This is just a response to all the responses! and it’s WoW! How a request for a list of things so seemingly simple as being ‘normal’ can produce such amazingly complex, varied and passionate replies.
have a Dad
be catholic
go to school
wears the clothes that everybody wears
be thin
have a routine
be gentle
get married
have friends
do not be fetish
be straight
what is normal?, normal is looking at poor kid on the street asking for money or food, normal is looking around and not seeing anything but sadness, normal is looking high and few people is going to be there enjoying life, normal is waking up everyday with hope…
I was forgeteen to write that all these things for me are normal but i would like that will be normal for all people.
Dear Paulo,
This is a great theme to discuss; thank you very much for the opportunity of allowing your readers debate important, delicate issues in our modern times.
Prejudices which are considered good and normal and, in fact, are absurd and harmful for our spiritual evolution:
-having a lot of money means that you are great, as you can buy anthing with money. People believe that having a good position in society definitely ensures them a good place in Heaven, in God’s Kingdom.
-lying, cheating, stealing are used to achieve our goals, no matter what effects they might have on others and on us, disregarding Universal Laws of Reciprocity and Righteousness
-people think that having fun means drinking till you become numb, smoking till you destroy your health just to relax, taking drugs which distort reality without taking into considerations that there are so many others way of feeling good, without side-effects
-women are considered officially beautiful only if they are skinny and that is why many who have natural curves and do not fit into the accepted 90-60-90 measures are rejected as being “fat’ and uninteresting, this causing a continuous struggle for starvation just for the sake of being in an accepted category of artificial beauty, without taking into consideration girls’ frustrations, low self-esteem and humiliation
-believing that God can be found only under one name, one religion, especially that you were born into; guilt, sin coming from our origins. Who talked to God anyway to affirm all these as being the Truth? Who can say that God isn’t joy, love and peace?
Not believing in the Great Mother or the Great Goddess as being an aspect of the Holy Trinity; who can believe that a family, even a divine one is possible with only a Father, a Son and no Mother?
The Holy Spirit or Ghost is referred as being of a male gender or neutre, but not as being feminine, the Great Mother or Goddess. Virgin Mary is also given too little power as being only a human being, not a Divine personality. She is not associated with the Great Goddess as She should be.
God is also believed to be found outside us and especially only in Heaven, not taking into consideration the possibility of being also inside us, inside our hearts.
-it is o.k. to be a phoney because image is what matters because it sells well, not the content. Artificiality is more appreciated than naturalness.
-Yoga is associated too often with physical exercises than to spiritual enlightenment, as if standing on our heads ensures finding God
-a friendship between a woman and a man is never possible without a romantic involvement. Why not?
Because love is mistaken for sex and sexual experiences are considered to have no spiritual meaning, being normal to happen anytime, with anyone, and without a sacred bond between the two partners.
-being a good, decent, respectful person means that you are weak, vulnerable and easily manipulated. On the contrary, being aggressive, egotistical, rude means a powerful personality and a realized person.
-reincarnation is not given too much credit. If people were sure that there is a cycle of lives and that after this life, another one comes and with it all you did right or wrong in previous ones, I believe that human beings would be more conscious of what they do with their lives and what they are now.
Escaping this cycle of birth-rebirth is possible only when eliberation, Moksha, Nirvana occur and this due to complete dedication to God, but not fanaticism and ritualism
-believing that by not forgiving anyone or anything that happened, you can change something. You can’t and the only one who really hurts is you, the one who doesn’t want to forgive and forget
-thinking that we are puppets in the Hands of a bigger Power than us and no matter what we do, we cannot change anything for the better. We are too easily tempted to blame others for what is wrong in our lives than to have an introspection
-believing that we are alone and also lonely. Good forces are in fact taking action everywhere all the time, even though we cannot see them. But we choose not to give them too much credit
There are also many more prejudices in our society but maybe I’ve written too much and I don’t want to be boring… If interested in more, just ask. :-) I’m always glad to communicate.
It depends only on us to have discernment, to see what is wrong and what is right with us and with the socity we are parts of, and on what side we choose to be.
Love and appreciation,
Carmen Larisa
I agree with Yajna in all words that she wrote, and acrescent that all people need to read more!! Books that explain about physicology, esoterism, general arts, health,human laws, ecology,and how to control money that we have now,and we that will have in the future. I hope that the future generation will have more knowledge,love,peace,money, and have God in their minds everewhere they go.
Dear Paulo, It is normal to have this response to one request of you.
Love to the generous one.
Satan is bad and body is guilty.
It is painful to give birth and women have to be afraid of.
Cover our emotions even from ourselves because otherwise others will say we are uncomprehensible and abnormal.
These are the biggest lies some people try to make the society belive. Nobody really belives it in the bottom of their heart, and our good instincts tell us how it is really but the pattern we trained to belive is so strong, only a few of us dare to admit that we feel and know the truth.
Let me quote William Blake, he so perfectly has written it down:
“All Bibles or sacred codes have been the causes of the following errors: -
1. That Man has two real existing principles, viz. a Body and a Soul.
2. That Energy, call’d Evil, is alone from the Body; and that Reason, call’d Good, is alone from the Soul.
3. That God will torment Man in Eternity for following his Energies.
But the following Contraries to these are true: -
1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that call’d Body is a portion of Soul discern’d by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age.
2. Energy is the only life, and is from the Body; and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy.
3. Energy is Eternal Delight.
Those who restrain Desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained; and the restrainer or Reason usurps its place and governs the unwilling.
And being restrained, it by degrees becomes passive, till it is only the shadow of Desire.”
-William Blake: “The Selected Poems of William Blake” THE MARRIAGE OF HEAVEN AND HELL-
Now it is something like having a fine dragon in us with all the wisdom and power and we close this poor fellow in a pressure cooker, it pisses under itself, starts to rot and we wonder why do we feel bad and our life in ruin when we were so good social animals otherwise? Setting our dragon free is a bit or a lot scary for ourselves (not to mention neighbours), but the only eternal cure.
The interesting thing is, that I just asked my husband today, how is the song “God rest you, merry gentlemen…” and he sang “…Jesus saved us all from Satan’s power…” – well, and it burst out from me, that nothing is wrong with Satan, because the Eternal Bad described by the Church wouldn’t exist. (I know, even some of the readers of this blog might dislike this claim.) I’ve been there and I know it. Our deepest parts are the best friend and brother of the Sun. Angel and Devil should take each other’s hand. If they don’t do that, that is a big problem! And that is how it is mostly in our world now, within people…
And so my husband told me that William Blake’d love me and asked to pass him his book. And he opened it at the quote above…
I met my husband first when my deepest instincts were about to set free and he helps me…
“(Inner, instinct’s) Energy is Eternal Delight.” Heaven on Earth, and everywhere, filling us.
And something else just came to my mind: before we met with my husband, I have sent him a picture painted by me: an angel and a devil embracing each other, the angel toying with the devil who is in desire and they both love each other and together possess the complete Truth.
Hi,
I guess we are all abnormal just putting on an act of normalcy. I say this because it’s impossible to live by all the rules of the society and if you do so you can never be yourself.
But society creates it’s own pressures and only those who stand up for themselves have some kind of individuality, originality.
We live in a society where everyone wants to appear smarter, more intelligent than he/she actually is. If you want to maintain a low profile, you want to play it down you are very low on the normality index.
People are great talkers, if you are the quieter kinds well they will do all they can to tell you that it’s not normal. You can talk shit but talk if you want to be considered normal.
If you do not have many materialistic desires, then you are laid back-abnormal.
If you are straight-then you are normal.
It’s endless.
Bye.
Normal for society, absurd for me.
1. Thinking that success means having a lot of money.
2. Thinking that pleasure brings happiness.
3. Thinking that beauty is just in the outside.
4. Ruling each and every human behavior.
5. Respecting people who don’t respect us, but doing it because we are supposse to.
6. Fighting over territory (countries)
7. Thinking that love is the chemical response of physical attraction… that’s why there are so many divorces and single parenthood.
8. Thinking that life is a race.
thanks
Sir Paulo,
Being normal, in the view of the society, is when you fit to their ideals or when you’re physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy.
But, there was this saying I’ve read, I actually forgot the source. It said, “Too much normality is boring, and boredom is some kind of suffering, which then is considered abnormal.”
Take care! Godspeed…
31. The best way to compare is by LISTS (read: top 10, top 20, top 100… etc.)
32. That which is unmeasurable is unmanageable
33. Quality is zero-defect, and the price of quality is the cost of non-conformance
34. Someone who hasn’t considered other options before his decision is foolish
35. To believe everything someone says, is to be an idiot.
36. Forgetting something is a sign of not valuing the person who asked you/hinted at you/wanted you to do something
37. Being fashionably late
38. If you’re too open you’re not attractive
39. Fat is sinful
40. love is for losers
13. Blogging daily
14. Wearing skirts at a party (for girls)
15. Alarm clocks
16. Airconditioning in enclosed spaces
17. That a “proper” table has 4 legs, a chair has a back, and doctors have certificates
18. Naggy mothers and silent dads
19. Unfathomable or otherwise attention-deficit boyfriends
20. Overworked & underpaid
21. That any established company has a web presence, and any important person has a video made to his name
22. That art is either priceless or worthless
23. That if something is easy it isn’t valuable
24. That your face needs the 3 steps of cleansing, toning and moisturizing
25. Gym memberships that are oft underused
26. Dancing for no reason is funny
27. Going to the toilet in herds
28. Boarding a plane to do community work
29. The innocence of children and the wisdom of adults
30. Murphy’s law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
having a house,, having a job,, ,, all these,,who say that is normal,, they are millions of people,, who does not have these western translation of the word normal,, this is manopulation ,, normal is relative,, is not exact,, is not exsisting,, is just a word,, what about all millions,, all billions,, who dont know about,, going to school,, or having a degree,,and a JOB,,, ????
For me, who didnt have a normal life since my chilhood,, to be normal is a dream,, a fantasy,,
I was born in a divorced, mixed up family,,discovered and pushed to be a star when I was 6 years old,,and got to profi world of show biz,,I had to deal with school, singing,,acting,,practising,,running away from all grown up dirty minded men in biz,, dealing with my mixed up conservative / Modern family,,and society,,learned to be a surviver,, and smile when I most hated,,I tried to be normal,, live normal,, so many times,, I tried to find myself in normality,,to be reduced,,be not different,,be not crazy,,not street smart,, be just to be,, be happy,, be simple,, be easy,,be stable,,be loved,, be bored,,be consumer,,be quiet,,,, I could not,, every time,, some body tell me,, wowowo you are interesting,, I know,, he or she is normal,, and I wish I could be NOT interesting,, and only normal.. I never had a chance to be normal,,I think,, that is not a choise,, you are a maker,, or user,, I guess a user,, lives normal,,but,, there is no normal,, normality,, is a word,,written and translated by menkind,,in my world,, there is nothing,, nothing,, I can call normal,,
Just received an email asking me to sign a petition to keep Singapore Law 377A. Have a look: http://www.keep377a.com. Made me think if normality is reflected by what is in the law books.
Some of my own, what I see other people see as normal…
1. Having a house to live in, clothes to wear
2. Eating 3 meals a day (this one bugs me)
3. Being financially independent, or else be part of a unit that is
4. Having hobbies that do not include bizarre things like writing
5. Visiting the dentist every 6 months
6. Beating a baby on the bum till he/she cries when he/she comes out of the mother’s womb
7. Being respectful to teachers
8. Squabbling with family members (though sometimes I wish it weren’t so)
9. Having ten fingers & ten toes
10. Not asking questions straight-out; beating around the bush (this frustrates me)
11. Giving up your seat for an older/pregnant person (happy it is this way)
12. Living by 7 days a week (in high school we went by an 8 day cycle)
that’s all for now…
Dearest Paulo,
its funny you’ve asked this question- a friend of mine told me the other day that its normal for me to be abnormal, so now i’ve decided to just think about everything i do and tell you the opposite. Lol. (well some of it anyway)
Its normal get a career or work regardless of whether you like it or not otherwise you’re deemed a failure. Its normal to be considered beautiful if you haven’t got any fat on you. Its normal for a woman to hold all household duties. Its normal for a man to do basically nothing at home but go to work everyday. Its normal for a man to pay for everything when you go out on a date because his then considered a gentleman. Its normal for people to follow a religion they were born with, without even considering others. Its normal for people to always walk forwards.
Its normal for people to be considered successful if they are wealthy, regardless of how they may have stolen to get there.
Its normal for people to judge others for being different.
Its normal for people not show others who they truely are and what they can do because of fear of being different.
Its normal for people to stay in a house and have a car.
Its normal for people to marry into their religion even if they love elsewhere- often because of family.
Its normal for people to frown upon failure.
Its normal for people to believe the media and follow people like bush, like sheep, not sitting to open their mind.
Its normal for people to talk just enough, if you talk too much you have a big mouth, if you don’t talk your consider too reserved.
Its normal for people to pity others who they think are less then themselves.
Its normal for people to be dressed smartly if they have branded clothes.
Its normal for parents to undermind and not listen to their own children- always ready to believe someone else.
Its normal to wear clothes that match.
Its normal to only think in one line, and not let your imagine go wild.
Its normal to protect and cover up anything that makes you abnormal.
Thats all i can think about..hope it helps..
Thank you for being..
Yajna
Dear Paulo,
This is what I can see as normal in society:
1.be an obedient and respectful child to your parents
2. go to school and you are expected to finish it.
3. get married and have children.
4. be a financial provider if you are a male, and be a whiz in the housework if you are a female.
5.have a religion.
6. grow old and have a mellowed approach in life with some wisdom to offer the young.
I can see that if you deviate from these so called “normality” you are considered not “normal”.
Im looking forward to your future column, it seems interesting already.
not to:
be ourselves is considered normal
talk or smile to strangers is considered normal
indulge in our craziness is considered normal
show our strengths, abilities, true self in order not to make others uncomfortable, jealous and with less self-esteem is considered normal
accept change is considered normal
make mistakes is considered normal
be imperfect is considered normal
have a different kind of life than go to school, go to university, get a job, get married, have children, retire is considered normal
trust your intuition instead of using just logic and the scientific method is considered normal
consider animals as equal but inferior to us is considered normal
consider children’s upbringing as hard work, just our job
A big hi to all in the community and Paulo from me,
For me the society’s obsession of being by the book morning society (If you like to linger over your coffee to read the morning paper, you’re probably more of a lark. [morning person] Owls often skip breakfast, and they’re always rushing to get to work in the morning. If you do any house chores, watch the tube, play games, or surf the Internet at midnight, you’re probably an owl. [evening ppl] If you occasionally get up at dawn to go for a walk, or fishing and sometimes stay up long past your usual bedtime at parties, you’re a happy hummingbird and congratulations on that![perfect ones in this respect] )
Why does our human society have this obsession relagating most work to daylight hours starting early morning and then close down at dusk (more than 98% offices, schools, colleges, universities, government establishments have to open at the same time early in the morning, close at the same time, have the same lunch and break hours.)
seems very absurd not just because I am more an evening person but because research has credibily proven that there owls outnumber larks in our society. I mean One in ten of us is an up-at-dawn, raring-to-go early bird, or lark. About two in ten are owls, who enjoy staying up long past midnight. The rest of us, those in the middle, whom we call hummingbirds, may be ready for action both early and late. Some hummingbirds are more larkish, and others, more owlish. This is bad for everyone as most owls are very grumpy early in the morning and practically get nothing done in those hours in contrast, people with the owlish instinct can be extraordinarily creative past midnight. This will also help us get rid of the pehenomenon of ‘Rush-hour’ traffic, lunch hour rush at the cafe’s, etc etc strange as it seems but enduring the torments of rush hour commute and long long lines everywhere has also become ‘normal’ but is… absurd… Anyway, here are some famous night owls:
Winston Churchill( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill )
Bill Clinton[1] ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Clinton )
Glenn Gould ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Gould )
Jay Leno ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay_Leno )
Elvis Presley[2] ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Presley )
Marcel Proust ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Proust )
J. R. R. Tolkien ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._R._Tolkien )
John Travolta (no URL sorry too lazy now)
Salman Khan (an Indian star known for his nocturnal behaviour)
Me not famous yet of course ;)
Hope this thing get’s talked about here because at least ti my sensiblities, it’s important, absurd and considered very “normal”…?!
İt will be great honour to help you
Fitting into a very small explainable box…
Suddenly it seems very difficult to word -
- working hard all through life, getting good grades and a ‘good job’, saving for ‘retirement’ only to be too tired to really want to do anything at the end, instead of enjoying life right now.
- comparing objects (cars, houses, income etc.) as if it were what is really important instead of getting to the heart of a matter: what moves you? what motivates you? what brings you joy? how do you face the hard moments in your life?
I’m afraid that your question is a little too general. Are you looking for a few thoughts on what society considers normal, through which you can trigger/guide your own thoughts on the matter, or do you want to find some common thread among different peoples and societies by which to make a point?
Here’re three answers for you:
My society values and considers it normal to seek monetary wealth above happiness in purpose. I do think it’s absurd that the general consesus is that this is the proper way to live, even though I have seen very few happy people living this “American Dream.” Those who seek happiness in their work or by pursuing their passions are often condemned or ridiculed.
It’s no longer fashionable to be religeous, but Spiritual is OK. I fell in this trap, so know from experience. For years I refused to truly believe anything for fear that my choice would offend someone who had made a different one.
Scatological humor is still considered funny by almost everyone.
E-mail me, if you have questions. I’m writing this at a late hour, so it may not make any real sense to me in the morning.
Peace and love, Amber and Niamh
absurd normality
1. current western standards of beauty in the fake ball-like breasts, the extra skinny and tall proportions that people have resorted to frightening surgeries to emulate.
2. that women are “Expected” to be poor in science and math subjects
3. that one is expected to lead the “Average life” of the 9 to 5, the retirement, the compromise of one’s dreams
normal in the view of society “going to college” to get a degree in ???? you know the normal things normal people do :)
So many things to consider.
1) Having rules for war. This is absurd!!! Why not designate the same agency to BAN all wars. New Rule! Countries are not allow to go to war. They must come up with another way to solve their differences.
2)It’s absurd to censor radio, TV, magazines etc. to protect children. Most kids are more advanced and more mature than the people who are leading those organizations. Most 9 year old boys already know all the curse words. It’s the parents responsibility to train their children.
3) Paying for Cable TV is absurd. If there were no commercials on TV that would justify paying for cable.But the point of commercials is to generate income.
4) It’s absurd for Americans to think their lives are worth more. When Americans are killed it’s a tragedy, when others killed coleterral damage
5) It’s absurd to have hungry people in the world. We live in the golden ages of humanity there is no reason to even think it’s normal
6) It’s absurd to say things like ” You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” there is a loving creator that IS abundance. There is nothing impossible for her
Oh there is so much more. But I have a meeting to attend. I hope I can come back add more.
More to come
Turk Akbay
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