:)

Love and Light, Olga

This weekend has been a constant reminder of love,

I went to a friends party and we all ended up sleeping at his, there were about five people to a bed so I and a few of my friends had to sleep downstairs on chairs, but it didnt matter because we all had a good time, then the next day we we to see a movie and went back to my friends. We all had a great time and life would not be worth living without all these friends.

But I would also like to thank you yajna. I realise that you were the first one to re-juvinate my understanding of the un-conditional love that my friends give me. Maybe love was always there, but you made me open my eyes and see it, thankyou.

Might i just add, i’m very glad you see how important love is :) i didnt think you’d not help someone in need- just merely making you remember the importance of your actions :)

Lots of love
Yajna

Good luck with your future dance lessons ! Im glad you are starting them, but they are not needed to dance, I think that the different dances express different mixes of emotions.

And yes, I may have to make some important decisions now or they shall haunt me later. I think that is very true. I have dreams of me on the steps of a large museum, in my city liverpool, in England. I always used to go there for days out, and I have some great memories there. I imagine standing on the steps holding up a copy of my new book. People are clapping and then I see the cover of my book, but it is always blurred. Then I wake up. It is as if I know I want to write, but just not what to write about. I am writing a story now, but let me assure you, the hardest thing to do when your writing a book, is decide its title.

Aditya,

I started dancing last week :)
My dad’s my partner and i’m learning. Its so lovely! i’ve been learning latin american- the rumba, cha cha, american swing and foxtrot. Its such fun! And things just flow as we start moving together. I love it, and can’t wait for my next lesson.
I think you should take your own advice there, with regard to your goals. No one knows what life like is or has been like and so it is no ones place to judge you for havin a goal or not. No matter what others do or say, if you are content with yourself and your life, thats all that really matters. If on the other hand you feel tthe need to strive for something- look at what u love most, and go for it.

Tom,

Just to add something to what Aditya said about your post. Allow me to say, you are young and impressionable. It is a critical stage in your life where the choices you make now will the foundation of your future. In sister act 2, whoopi goldberg says, “don’t ask me if you want to be a singer, if u wake up in the morning and all you can think about is singing, then girl, you a singer.” Similarly if you have a dream, to write, no matter what life throws at you be adamant about it and even challenge life to try its luck with you. When you believe in something like that, no matter what happens in life, you will succeed.

AVC

I understand how you feel and what u were trying to express. My ex (if i can call him that- i hate these social terms) was very much like you. The manner in which you describe things, is similar to the way he did, and the way he thought. He’d always wanted that to be his ultimate goal, and it seems thats what his striving for. I have faith that when u and him are ready to find your answers to everything, they will appear. Personally, i find that i’m in a career that i love, but its not my ultimate goal. I honestly don’t know what is, but i feel there has to be something more. i know i’l find it, don’t know when or how, so i continue to do things that i love. Like u, thats my plan, to simply love- or at least try to. As for being with another person, i feel i’ve found my soulmate, the man i will always love and so im many ways i am complete and incomplete, for i had to let him go. Other than that, i’m taking one step at a time and living my life as best i can- seizing every opportunity and doing what i love, and of course, continuously exploring myself to find out whats going on inside me. I have a question- what do u make of romantic love?

Love Yajna

Yajna,

Yes that is it, if everyone loves, then they are making the world a better place, sadly though, some humans do not understand this, and so they hate and destroy for there own selfish advancement. Yajna, do not get me wrong, even if I did see someone that I did not particularly like struggling along there path, I would help them, because wether you like them or not, they too are striving towards there goal, and they too are capable of love.

Yes, my grandmothers and Grandfathers are extraordinary people aswell. I have a special bond with my mothers side because as a child I spent many of my days down at there farm and so that was an early bondage point.

I do not like the word enemy either, but I dont know wether any other words would be more appropriate like advisery, and to resolve this long debate about calling my friend an enemy, I was trying to put forward an example, that an enemy is someone that you once loved. because if someone who you have never met starts to taunt you, you dont really care, because you have never loved them, never even known them.

aditya,

I once met an old man on a bus. I sat down next to him and there was a jolley atmosphere about him, he talked to everyone on the bus and when he had finished talking, he truned to me,
“hello son I remember when I was your age, never had to worry about bus times. I just lived in my area never went anywere on the bus.”
I laughed and said, “well technology seems to be dominating our lives now, this is just one of the pieces.”
he smiled and said, “It makes you think doesnt it, we made clocks and watchs to control time, but it seems to be controlling us.”
I got off the bus then, it all made sense now that someone had actually pointed out the question to me, there are times for everyhting, we seem to go about our business so concious about time, so who is the master ???

And yes aditya, I do think that my last few posts on this blog have been to concious. Lately I have been thinking too much about what I write down. In this entry I have tried to speak through my heart, because I gorget, the heart is pure, and so are its messages, its only when the thoughts of the heart go through the mind and then come out the mouth that things become somewhat contaminated by the impurifications of human life. I am still learning aditya as we all are.

Perhaps the destiny of my journey is not clear to me. At least I have no words for it. It cannot be found in a choice of career or in a relationship with another person. Rather, it is the sum of everything.

It could be described as my identifying, collecting and combining different and colourful wavelengths, ultimately with the purpose of recreating the white light from which I once emanated.

If the destiny is not clear to me, the direction is.

Not only is the direction clear, I would say that I have now reached a point where it would be impossible for me to go in any other.

Sometimes it almost seems like a rickety bridge over a deep and dark ravine, to narrow to turn around. Once your out there, you might as well continue to the other side.

No point in stopping and staring into the darkness. Better focus on the other side and keep a firm pace forward. I know that the sun will rise behind that mountain and I am reassured by that knowledge.

This bridge, I believe is Love. Just as horrible and just as wonderful.

huh huh huh !! ain’t it, time passes us right under our nose, but we are so concerned with ‘images’ ( past, future, even when we are with our present, mostly we remain focused on the ‘objects, seldom on the presence ), that we hardly notice time passing by, years pass, and we get startled sometimes.

tom ! a warrior need not worry too much about wisedom ( to distinguish between what is possible & what is impossible ), journey makes one wiser !

sorry to be saying this, but i see the germination of some ominous signs in your post : if u want to become a writer ( if u are not sure, have the courage to say u r not sure )then there is no need to accomodate thoughts like “I and my friends are still young, maybe one of our paths shall not lead us to become a writer” and “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” i won’t go into whether they are right or wrong, for a warrior such ‘future’ is precsisely what screws up the present. when the oppertunity presents itself, u will know if it’s worth trying or chickning out, that is the war warrior fights, striving one more step at a time.

Now a days it’s becomming a fad to have a goal in life; I am all for setting goals and striving out for them, but if I don’t have a goal, should I adopt one just because everyone else is doing it.I gather not. But ya if my goallessness is troubling me then I better start doing something about it.

Exactly my point- with regard to what u said about gardening, its continuous striving to be your best.
:)

Love Yajna

You said what i was trying to explain to you.. “Me and my friend do not care who changes the most lives or sells the most copies, because ultimately, we are working towards the same goal, to make the world a better place, and that is something that everyone should try to achieve.”
At the end of it all, we should just love, and work together, there is no need to express anything less than love in a scenerio like this. I must agree with Aditya, that its so often we strive to be the best above everyone, but the path that life takes us on to be the best, we develop into the best we can be. And i think many people have become humble towards it- like all those people he mentioned. You’ve said that its important to make an enemy in life- i think that yes, its important for u to see the bed, for if u do not, u wont realise the good, its core opposities of the universe. But i just want u to see there’s not need to create enemies, but rather achknowlegde them if they exist in your life. Honestly i dnt like the term enemies, there are people that i really dislike in this world for personal reasons, but one should keep in mind we are not here to judge others, or hate them, the most we can do, it invent ourselves so we cannot be like them.

Your grandfather sounds like an amazing person, and when u do write, i’d love to read more about him. Sometimes i think about my grandmother as well, and what an incredible individual she was. Both my grandmothers for that matter. You seem like lovely guy, and like u i’m young and do have alot to learn about life and myself

As for my dream, i want help people globally, im not exactly sure how yet, but i will. Im studying medicine and thats my start. I will write a book, becasue its something that i’ve got to do. i will set up a few organisations, and would possibly work for the UN at some point. I’d love to do some stuff in the arts, maybe form a production company and so on. i’m just going to take one step at a time and do what i feel is best. Its always good to strive for your dreams and be the best u can be. Dnt ever give up on your dreams, no matter what life throws at u.

Lots of love
Yajna

AVC

Do u know what ur looking for, just out of curiosity?

Yajna

and we were discussing the joys of dancing, yagna i pray that u start that dance with your dream ASAP, no point thinking about dancing when one can actually dance. same for you tom and AVC. freindly rivelalary is good at times, no !

regards

aditya

AVC

have u read Jonathan Livingstone Seagull

about appropriateness of ‘over-active’ on this site, i feel it’s best to leave those things in hands of others which they are controlling, e.g. for this site the rule is that we need to be civil to each other, Paulo has made this place available for wols to discuss, if we are overstepping, paulo will tell us, god bless him, maybe it’s one of his ways of sharing his riches with wols, afterall creating and maaintaining this site must be costing someone something.

about this desire to be the best, such a thought is initially possible, but u look at any of the people whom we call best, they seldom use this word with reference to themselves, be it tiger woods, frank sinnatra, a r rehman, SRK, paulo, … by the time u reach there u know how bigger the canvas is, it’s like trying to recah a summit, beyond whih one cannot see. Once u apprach the summit u see that the horizon is equally distant, as it was before.

personally i understand that everyday, or to be honest every month, i need to improve my gardening skills, i aspire to become a better gardener, consistenetly, but I don’t know whom I have to compete against to become best gardener in the world, neither do i care, that is her/his journey and this is mine; I may at times seek out good gardeners, how else do u learn gardening.

regards

adity

I must apologise if i sounded somewhat harsh in my last post to you. I want you to realise the importance of love and friendship, above one’s ego and pride. I didn’t mean to sound pessimistic towards your dreams in any manner, do not misunderstand me. I would love nothing more for you to achieve everything you set out for, i just don’t want you to regret anything at the end of it all. I would truely love you to be the best you can be. :) And i’m sure you will do excellently. I truely wish you all of the best. Work hard for your grades and concentrate, a friend once told me, to keep my one eye on my goal, and my other eye on my books. In doing so, i’m on my way to becoming what i’ve always wanted. I was very much like you, and as i read your post, i smiled. Stay strong willed as you are, but just also always remember whats important in life. Don’t see your friends as rivalries because they are striving to be the best, encourage them to do their best as you will do yours. I do love history, i find it rather fascinating :)
I will write a book as well, but my reasons are different to yours. I have to write this book, for it lives inside of me, and haunts me at times. It is something that i was ment to write and i know it, and I honestly don’t even know if it will be good or even great. All i know is the story that lies inside of me, and at some point i have to write it. I honestly just don’t know yet.

You seem like a good guy. Stay that way :)
lots of love
Yajna

Me and my friend do not care who changes the most lives or sells the most copies, because ultimately, we are working towards the same goal, to make the world a better place, and that is something that everyone should try to achieve.

Thankyou, you have my prayers aswell. I also believe that everyone should havve respect for the subject of history, I believe that everything we see around us would not quite be the same if something would have happened only slightly differently, it could have tipped the balance of the universe.

Yajna,

When I was a veyr small child, my mother told me about my great grandfather, he had survived world war 1 and 2, had half of his leg blown off at normandy, had to have half of his skull replaced with metal, because of a grenade, got shot in the head and survived. the bullet was never removed. He came home after fighting for so long and so hard. He came back to unemployment, starvation and no home to house his wife and daughters. somehow he found a way to raise his 7 children. As I said to aditya, I love history, and I would have loved to meet him, sadly, he died on the day that I was born. When my mither told me this, I was extremely sad and I prayed to find some sort of communication with him. Unfortunately, god may have sent me signs that I was too young to understand. I told my Mother “I dont think God can hear me”
“Then pray louder, with all your heart” she said. I did just this but again I did not see any signs. I promised that one day I would make such a noise down here that it could be heard from heaven, as I developed a love and skill for writing, this, I decided, was how I was going to do it. Now I feel almost silly making that promise, but I know that if I go back on it now, it will feel as if I am betraying an old friend.
I understand that fame will not give me a hug when I am lonely and we do not have a rivalry, I used the wrong word, saying that she is my enemy. we are just respectively driving towards the same goal, I understand that people have different tastes in books, but there are best sold writers. I will not feel in any way superior to my friend leah if I sell more books than her, as we are both human beings and I believe that every human being is equal in rights, it is just that some of them dont follow there dreams. I feel almost sorry for these people as they will never really taste the full flavouring of success.
Yajna, let me ask you this, what is your dream ???

apparently, one of the things you should do before you die is to make an enemy for life, it shows your depth of character, by showing other, that you know you cannot get on with eveyone, and so you do not try.

A.V.C,

“I shall desire the unattainable, and so always have something left to fight for.”

I very much like that sentence, it is so ambitious and yet humble at the same time.

My highest Will is a secret, yet even to me.

I must seek it in silence, because no words could ever hope to describe it.

Love, Light, Life!

AVC, Aditya, Tom
I understand AVC’s concept of silence in this matter but i feel that its a personal choice to share. It should depend on that individual. For some people, it is uplifting to talk about their personal dreams, this motivates them to be the best they can be and to focus more energy on their dreams. For others, having their goals in mind is all that motivates them. They don’t need to talk about it, and would rather spend that energy on striving for their dreams. I believe it just depends on what works best for you, because everybody in this world is different, and each of us has to do what works best for us.
As for what i’m looking for, hmmm.. The most correct answer would be me. (No i’m not lost, lol, just want to experience myself.. :)) I’m studying what i’ve always wanted, and yes, i am getting to my dream, but other than that i am taking one step at a time and just doing things that i love. I would love to travel and discover new places and people and just experience the world and do pretty much, what i ever i feel like.

Aditya,
i agree with what you said about these forums. All we have is words here. Even though at times we do write to another purely for acknowlegdement purposes, i find that we learn so much. This place does alot of good, for if it did not exist we wouldn’t meet and interact with each other. Reading the newsletter and commenting itself is a form of self discovery and personal growth.

Tom,
Its good to know what you want in life, and i hope that you achieve everything you strive for. I pray all of you do! You seem to be very head strong about being the best writer in the world. You said earlier: “I know a girl called Leah and even though we are friends, we both want to become the best writer in the world. this means that there is some rivalry between us and, speaking in the sense of carrer, we are enemies. so it is true that an enemy is someone that you once loved.”
I honestly don’t understand this need for rivalry. Personally i feel you should strive to be the best you can be, and not base your self on others. There can never be the best writer in the world, because each book has its own style, and own message. It is an expression of who a person is. As a reader, we read things and love them, according to our taste, according to what we can associate with in our lives. And in different points in our lives we will look for different messages, and our intersts will develop into books that we have more in common with. Throughout time, writers have come and gone, and many of them, are great, but there is not one who is the best. People can have favourites, you can be the best to one person, and you can become a legend, but do remember that the most important thing is for you to be the best you can be. I think competition, whereby your friend becomes your enemy is rather juvinile. Let her be the best she can be and who knows, maybe her book would change the millions of lives your book did not affect. Don’t be the best so that you can be better than her, be the best because its who you are. Help each other, and love. I’ve seen friends turn on each other because of grades, and i feel its such a waste of time. Thats not a real friendship, and thats certainly not love. And whats the point of being the best at anything if your celebrating alone? Tom, you know, i’m in a very competitive field, and if my friend does better than me, i’ll praise her, if she does worse, i’l help her, that is what friendship is about. Fame will not hold you when you need a hug. I hope that you will think about what i’ve said.

Lots of love to all,
Yajna

my best wishes are with you, if Paulo sees this I am sure his blessings will be yours too. at such a young age if you have chosen your life path, well nothing better. what u said, in the ‘to AVC’ i too am pondering about it, specially about dreams.

history – a very good subject i disovered when I put my faith in this subject to take me thru a very tough exam in my life, thru preliminary rounds history did take me thru, but when I put faith back into the subject i had graduated with, I had overestimated my grasp of my core subjects. anyway all that is history.

I am of the firm opinion that everyone must learn to apprecaite hoistory and read it also, history tells us u know what, how come the world is as it is today.

my most sincere prayers for your success, and ya mediataion regularly helps, even archery is a meditation.

regards

aditya

In some ways I agree with you, in others, I dont. I believe that you should protect your dream from prejudice, guilt and doubt but I believe that if you want to share it, you should. dreams are like butterflies, hold on to tight and it will be crushed, let them go about too loose and they fly away.

aditya,

first of all, thankyou for reminding me, I must remember to meditate more often. Also my dream is very ambitious, but I believe that I had found it in sections, and it has now come together as one journey.
When I get my grades in school, hopefully I will be able to become a history teacher, this is a subject that I am very passionate about and have always wanted to share with others. I would also like to write in my spare time, combining Certain historical events with journeys that people have made. If and when my books are published, I will become a full time writer and in this times I would like to travel round europe and go on a pilgramage to Kagoshima in japan. I would also like to set up charities in my own country, Africa, China and South America.
Then I would like to go into politics and influence my country in a positive way so that my loved ones can benefit.
This is what I would specifically like to do in my life, though I would like to try things on the way, there is nothing that can stop me from trying to become the best writer in the world.

u know problem with these forums is that, the only way to know if others are around is by seeing there posts, sometimes it looks as if we feel complelled to reply, lest it appear as not courteous enough. e.g. thsi post from me was unnecessary, but for acknowledging the lines written by AVC & yagna, both of which were useful for me. thanks.

silence ……….. hmmmm appealing !

aditya

I’ve been thinking about what you said about awareness and in many ways i find it correct. Truth is, i haven’t thought about this concept in a while- thank you for reminding me. But i used to, and spend many hours discussing it. By you being completely aware, and not taking a particular thing in, but rather the entire picture, you should have better chance of understanding the sequence of it. Thus helping us to answer the big “WHY did this have to happen?” question. Its like a puzzle. By you taking all the pieces into consideration, you are able to acknowledge the entire scene. If you don’t, you get bits and pieces of the picture and you spend more time trying to figure out how everything fits in your mind.
This concept can be similarly set in any situation in life, its just a manner in which you see things. It often helps to train your mind to think like that, as well as through experience and self discovery (because both experience and discovery help figure out how to think).

lots of love
Yajna

In these matters, I advocate silence because I feel that the energy needed to make manifest the things Willed is best conserved in that silence.

Keep the dream alive, but treasure and guard it as your most important secret.