Dear friends,
The other day, while walking in the tourist center of an European town, I saw something that I had seen millions of times: a couple asking a passer-by, who was wearing a suit and walking hurriedly towards his home, to stop and take a picture of them. This common request somehow made me think about the following: why did the passer-by stop? Had the couple asked him 5 cents he would have never stopped, but asking him his precious time he agreed.
What makes people give their time but not their money?
What makes people give their time but not their money?
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this makes me think of an email i read today.
From : Tyler Perry, Writer and Actor
This morning I awoke and was so frustrated about all of the stuff that I’m dealing with in trying to get this studio open. I was about to open my mouth and start complaining when I remembered something that happened to me about a year ago.
I was walking to my car when this woman who appeared to be homeless started walking towards me. I’m ashamed to say this but I thought, “I don’t feel like being hustled today.” Then I got quickly convicted. I felt guilty so I started digging in my pocket for some money. As she got closer I noticed that she had the kindest eyes that I had ever seen. As I was reaching into my pocket she started to speak! . I tho ught, “Here goes the sales pitch”. She said “Excuse me sir, I need some shoes. Can you help me?” My eyes filled with water because I remember being out on the streets and having only one pair of run over shoes. I was taken aback for a second.
I took her inside the studio and had my wardrobe people find shoes in her size. As she put the shoes on she started crying, praising God and thanking Jesus, and saying, “My feet are off the ground! My feet are off the ground!” Several of the wardrobe people started crying. I was crying. But I never forgot those words. “My feet are off the ground!” I thought, “Wow! All she wanted was some shoes.” She quickly disappeared and never asked me for a dime. I realized that I still had the money in my hand so I went out looking for her. She was gone just that quick so I looked all around the neighborhood for her. I found her standing on a corner looking down at her shoes, still crying. I was so touched. I asked her how she had gotten hom! eless. She told me that she had AIDS and that she was waiting to get into a shelter. She said that her family had turned their backs on her and that she had no place to go, but she knew that God would make a way for her. I said to myself, “He just did.” Her faith and her praise moved me. I took her to a nearby hotel and put her up until she was able to get on her feet. I had someone that worked for me to check on her from time to time and to make sure that she had food and clothes. After about a month or so we lost touch, but I never forgot her.
This past summer I was shooting “Daddy’s Little Girls” and this woman walks up to me smiling. I didn’t recognize her face, but her eyes were familiar. She had on a really nice dress and her hair was done. It was her! She told me that the little help that I had given her had changed her life. She was in a house now and doing very well.
I said all of that to say this. After I met this woman, every time I think about complainin! g and m umbling I remember, “My feet are off the ground!”
I wanted to share this with you just to let you know that when I say that I am thankful for you, I mean it. And when I say that you are a blessing to me, I mean it. We take so much for granted sometimes that I just wanted all of you to know that I am grateful to God for you everyday. Thank you for being in my life.
~Tyler Perry
Another point: When I give something of myself whether it be my time or money, I want to know that my efforts have not been wasted. I consider both of these of value to me.
If I give my time to some tourists requiring assistance, I can see the direct benefit of that gift. If I give my money, I lose control of it once it’s given away. I don’t know if my money will be put to good use later – I assume not.
I believe in paying it forward, but if you pay it forward with money to a beggar then I don’t believe they will then pay the favor forward to someone else as that is basically their job.
In saying all this, I’m sure it depends on a case by case basis. If my instincts told me to help someone out either with my time or my money then I would most certainly follow that.
Depende de cada pessoa. Do estado de espírito de cada um. Do momento ou da forma como cada pessoa VÊ sua própria situação e a dos seus próximos, sejam quais forem.
beijos,
Mari Raphael.
money is more important than time because money doesn’t depend on time but time depends on money.
for example, $150 can buy you 1 night a hotel, and $750 can buy you 5 nights. money is more important because it outlasts you, whereas time just slips away. with money you can choose to spend or not to spend and what to spend on. but time is spent whether you like it or not.
but i think if you ask which is more valuable, time or money, it would be time. because there’s no turning back the clock. and somehow the perilious nature of time makes it lovely.
although sometimes, money is infinitely more important than time. for example, if you have a boyfriend and he spends all his time with you (loafing around etc) but refuses to buy you anything… that’s rather bleahhhhz and in that case it’s either “i love him” (she’s seriously in trouble here) or “bubye!”
additional thought: money isn’t callous. it isn’t an evil either – i have to disagree with quite a few of the pple here. i used to think so (very strongly in fact). it does no good. better to see money as an instrument…
Shooting Star-
you said, money is more valuble than time. Out of curiosity, how do u plan on buying back the time you’ve spent making money- when u realise, oh no, i haven’t actually lived (spending more time in the office than at home), or made a differnece when i should have? I do realise that money can do alot of good, but in the world today it ends up doing more harm than good. you have one chance to live, and so, u have limited time that should be spent wisely. Can u elaborate on your thought? (i’m curious about the idea behind this statement..)
Lots of love
Yajna
ps sorry if i sound a bit harsh there.. not intentional.
Its because of a thing called appearance.
I completely agree with Prashanth Puranik .
When somebody asks for money, I feel that the perosn is lazy and dont even feel pity for him. But when someone asks for help, something like this in the story or an old man crossing the road, I would definitely help because it makes me feel that Im doing good and spending my time for a cause.
Recently, while in line at the market, a young woman in front of me realized that she didn’t have enough money to pay for her articles. I put $5 on the counter, almost without thinking. Both she and the clerk were amazed. I said “pass it on”. If people did this more often, how much closer would we come to living in a peaceful world? It is a simple thing to do when you have abundance in your life, and if done with the intention of being of service, and not from an attitude of superiority, the energy of human love and caring can change the world.
Dearest paulo and Friends,
I agree with Leaf, i wrote about something similar yesterday but it seems to have not gone through. I don’t know why everyone is going on about what the begger is going to do with the 5cents you give him! Its not like you giving him so much of money! And you probably waste more money on a chocolate or expensive clothes! We shouldn’t be judging them, saying oh they too lazy to work and so on, because we don’t know the situation they are in. Living on the street is a hard life. We haven’t walked in their shoes and we don’t know their life. Its simple for us to say, go get a job, but seriously, which one of you will employ that same begger on the street? When he looks bad, smells bad, doesn’t have an education, unhealthy, and possibly has serious mental problems. (i’ve learnt that many beggers have mental problems- suffering from post traumatic stress, schizophrenia etc). There are so many other factors that come into play. In South Africa for example, there are beggers everywhere, and its mainly due to the poverty cycle. Half of south africa has no money to survive, because they are unemployed, and this is because approximately 46% are uneducated and have no transport etc. Its not that they don’t want to work, or they are lazy, but many of them are born on the street and have lived there their whole lives. Even if they have not, they are living on the street so they lie in the same boat- they have no home, no money, no learnt skills or education, barely any food, and what little they do have, most likely ends up stolen. All they have is carried on them, and their too they can get mugged. Most beggers beg not because they don’t want to earn an honest living, but because they haven’t the opportunity to. And what do you expect them to do to survive? They too have to eat. So when they ask for money, even if they use it to drink or whatever, its not the end of the world, because if you were living in there situation- you don’t know if you’d be doing the same if not worse things. Even the rich drink, and gamble and so on excessively, why are you not judging them? Is it just because they have money and a nice house and because they not asking you for change? Its so funny that people with money will spend it on ridiculous things- spend obscene amounts of money on a tshirt because a small brand logo- but they won’t give a cent, or even enough to buy a plate of food, to a begger. You know, Atleast the beggers are asking for money.. And have not pulled out a knife, and demanded it.
Don’t look down upon beggers, we must not forget they are people too, and we don’t know where they have been and why they are even begging in the first place.
Love Yajna
B.L.
exactly!!!
when it comes to giving we tend to give away that which is of less use to me. when I am poor, giving my time seems easier. incidently time is a greta socialist – it’s available equally to everyone. money varies, but its value is same for all; value of time is variable, depnding upon what we do with that time !
possibly perhaps because people identify more with how much money they have rather than how much time they have. Thus their money is ,in their eyes, more precious and therefore more difficult to part with. And yet the truth is that we invariably run out of time…,
Frankly, it is other way round. People wish to give their money because they donot have time. Money is comparitively cheaper than the time.
Usha Rane.
Er, sorry, I started off a bit strong with the ‘shallow excuse’ thing; forgive me.
I just meant to show that money is more than worthless because it cause us more harm than good, whether in our hand or not, it’s very presence is evil..(point made – I should not have unwittingly aimed others)
and my own excuse is my frustration with that evil.
xxxx
When a beggar asks for money it is often a confronting situation in which ones trained response is often No. It’s confronting quite simply because it’s a stranger that is asking to take our hard earnt money – we ask why can’t they earn it themselves.
Having discussed this very topic with a friend only yesterday I came to the conclusion that it isn’t really our place to judge how someone came to be in a situation where they were asking for money – the fact is that they are. It would also be wrong though to give them money as it would only encourage further people to choose this avenue as they would know it would work. As hardlined as this approach is – it would force beggars to provide something more to the world for money as everyone else does.
The couple that required the photo be taken can’t take a good photo by themselves – I don’t think it’s a question of the passerby’s time.
WHY are so many people concerned with what the beggar does with the money?
Because, quite frankly, I think this is a shallow excuse.
What is the worst thing the beggar can do with money?
Go and buy ethically/politcally incorrect Designer clothing, thus perpetuating the miserly misery in some ‘foreign’ sweat-shop which pays people nothing for a life’s (not worth living) work??
Or maybe he’ll go and buy pain-killers or tooth-paste, and perpetuate the corruption of the pharmaceutical giants and their not so public funding of human experimentation and countless wars??
Maybe he will pay for his soup at the local church who tithes it’s parishioners…and then ‘generously’ gives away to a worthy cause, one tenth (tithe) of what they’ve received!!??
I happily give to all who ask…and if they should choose to do something oh so immoral as to gamble, get drunk or drugged up, then, big deal! can’t say I’d blame them, living in this world….where we really have no control over our money anyway.
If someone asks for your coat, give him your tunic also.
If someone asks you to walk a mile with him, walk two.
and if someone asks you for spare change, thank God for the fact he didn’t just murder you and steal the lot!!
LOVE to all x
“Koely
Oct 23rd, 2007 at 7:35 am
Time is more valuable then money.
It means more.”
Yup, exactly. Only most people in big cities feel different…
In their depths they might feel a bit of relief they still could perform the miracle…
…pride and shame…
this couple was probably tourists, and the man felt proud because they wanted a lasting memory from HIS city..
but a person who begs for money makes many people feel ashamed, those who live on the street, take drugs, have no place in our vision of life. they are not worthy to be seen ore taken any notice of, they are something we rather not think about, as if not thinking about them will make the problem go away..
Time is precious – but not so precious that taking a moment to take a photograph is a profound waste of time. The request for the photograph does not pose any threat – real or imagined; the 25 seconds it takes to snap a photo is a mere hesitation in the particular day.
Question: And what of the person who does stop to give the beggar some change?
I almost never give money to beggars, not because that I am really possessive when it comes to money, rather than the inherent distrust in them. According to me most beggars are not victims of fate but rather preys of their own laziness. Begging is rather an easy way out for them. This is the case in India at least.
When u r able to give time to someone for a cause that u consider valuable, u get a backing for ur own convictions. Irrespective of what ur beliefs r this works. In the example quoted, a person who considers the man-woman relationship invaluable, instantly relates to the couple and agrees for this reason.
Of course there could be reasons more complicated than this. There are as many different reasons as there would be would be individuals.
There are as many answers as people are around, Paulo. However, if the couple would have asked for more after taking the pic (maybe at a personal level, like talking or helping with language if they were foreigners), the man would have probably left.
There’s a risk to open hearts and souls even for a second, you know. Taking a photo might be a completely non-personal task, just like giving 5 cents in order to relieve conciousness and feel “Gosh, I’m such a good guy” flavor inside.
I would ask the opposite. What makes some people give their money, not their time, from total strangers to relatives?
Hi there again,
It is a case of control vs intuition.
For most people, money isa touchy subject based on insecurities and fears – hence the need to control.
The man who took the picture made a split-second decision, based on intuition.
As you said yourself, intuition(right side of the brain) always wins.
Language of the Universe, way to GO…
Sincerely, Marie-christine
Yajna
You are absolutely right.
Najam
I think we don’t realize the value of time. Again the money which we earn is the time we spent in making that. Like I work in an office and during that 10 hours if somebody comes to me and asks me for my time, I think I won’t be able to do so. But if I am free and somebody asks for the time I will certainly give but if the same person asks for money, probably, I won’t be able to do it. Because my efforts are attached with that money.
It depends on nature of the person also. If a person loves money he will never even think about parting with it.
A friend of mine who came to America from Vietnam, asked me why American’s put their money into white envelopes as custom in many churches only to let others decide where it should go. He said that his family filled the needs of others as the situations occured.
Since then, I have feed and clothed many people. I have had many opportunities to feed the homeless, elderly, travelers, and many of the unseen among us. Since I love to cook it fills me with pleasure. I think that all of humanity feels better if they are fed and loved.
A meu ver, uma foto é um instante que se eterniza, daí a magia. Depois, o casal recordará para sempre o gesto dum anjo que os ajudou.
Logo, ter o privilégio de ser convidado para participar de tal evento, alegra a alma de qualquer um de nós. À parte disto, estender 5 cêntimos a um pedinte nem sempre é uma experiência tão agradável.
Em suma, é uma questão de prazer mais do que de dinheiro. Quando sentimos prazer em dar esmola, nesse instante, tanto ajudamos o pedinte como o casal de namorados. Por isso, tudo depende da nossa construção mental. Educação.
coz i think money is more important than time…
Like many others, I will not give money to a healthy beggar just because they choose to beg when they can earn honest money. If a beggar says he hasn’t eaten for two days, I offer to buy them food – and not surprisingly, more that 50% of them refuse (here in Pakistan at least).
If anyone (a beggar, a stranger) asks me for my time, for instance, to help him to pick something heavy, or take a picture, or keep an eye on their stuff while they walk away for a minute to find their kid etc., I would gladly give them my time as they can’t do it all on their own. If I see a genuine need for money (someone out of change besides a phone booth, for example), I will help.
The reason, for me at least, is that while I do desire to help people however I can, I am afraid of being exploited because of that desire.
If a beggar asks for .25 cents (price of a filling meal here) and I bill clients at 60$ per hour, for example, 25 cents is 15 seconds of my time – but I usually spend 5 minutes of my time (worth 5$ in this case) confirming their needs and asking them why they won’t work rather than just handing them the 25 cents and saving myself 4.75$ theoretically.
I always say,, When women like the men,, who spend moneyy or buy gifts for them,, it s not about money,,
Men dont like to work,, in nature,, they are a lazy creator,, They work to prove themselve,,
they work to survive,,
they work to show off,, they work to make their women happy,,
They work to be able to buy,, and owe things,,
most of time,, they dont want to work,, but they need to have the money,,!!!
women,, they look at it easier,, they like projects and responsibilities,, they enjoy it more,,
When a man,, work his time for earning money,, he has given something from himself,, that was not easy for him,,
money,,money is what he has as return for his freedom,,
women give easier,, cause they had more fun with working and earning the money,,
If a person,, is ready to give money to anything,,
“” Charity,,pleasure,,gifts,,luxtury,,”"”
ANYTHING,,
it means,, he enjoys what he is doing for living and earning money,,
He respect money as a part of him,,
He share it as he share his time or his knowledge,,
Women,, enjoy sharing,, more than men,,
Rox
Dear Mr Coelho,
this is interesting since they are both “Energy” that stem from the same principle : to give and to receive
i.e. if I want to buy a bottle of milk, (to receive), I (give) some money as an exchange the same thing happens with taking the picture but is view in a different way.
Marie-christine
serene !
why did u have to add the last line, forget it ! say as u do, direct and polite, your inputs add a dimesion to the discussion.
regards
aditya
Dearest Paulo and friends,
Actually i think it does depend on the person and the situation. In this case of the story, its someone wouldn’t see taking their picture as ‘time’ since it only requires a click of the button they won’t mind. But when money is involved people are so possessive. Don’t ask me why they don’t share, its something that fascinates me. I understand that a person’s financial status should be taken into consideration, but there are so many people who won’t pull out a 5cents out on the street to give to someone begging. One the upside i do agree with leaf, who would stop to talk to a tramp? They would probably afraid he or she will end up robbing her or just judge him or her by their personal appearance. (brilliant point leaf).
You know, i always find myself thinking that there is more than enough money in this world for everyone. Its just a matter of sharing it between us. Allow to share two experiences:
When i was 15 i went to Germany, walking along a crowded street i saw a begger sitting down. In South Africa there are beggers everywhere, at every robot, outside sitting down, standing.. So i was pretty used to it. But in Germany.. I only saw this one, an old gentleman holding out an empty can. Being in the habit of giving change, i went to the begger to give him money. A 5cent coin was all i had. In my brave attempt to go give the money i nearly got lost. Lucky my friend found me, and i got quite the lecture for running off. As i walked i looked down and found a coin. It was 10cents. I was fascinated thinking.. Hmmm.. This was true to the saying.. When you give something, you recieve it twice back. (or something like that)
My second story is not really a story but more of a habit. You should try it sometime. I always find money on the street, and instead of keeping the money i give it to someone else on the street. That way the money i do find is put back to the right places where it can do some good. The amazing thing was the more i did this the more money i found. Now i find money nearly everyday, and all my friends started doing the same. Its pretty cool :)
Thank you for being
Yajna
I think that people give their time because they are lonely and every interaction is an opportunity for them to subdue this loneliness. If you give your money, the exchange is over quickly and you are left empty as before… but if you give your time, there is a chance that you will receive something even more valuable in return. Some of my most important encounters have been random.
Todo lo que es gratis al hombre no le cuesta dar o hacer.
Aún así dar la hora lleva menos tiempo que abrir una cartera y antes cogerla del bolso o del bolsillo.
El hombre vive muy de prisa y no quiere parar por nada.
When we give money to beggars on the street we loose control over it; we assume they are not going to use the money wisely.
As for the time offered, in your example on the street, when we stop we are still in control; if it gets too long or we lose control or faith we can always “take our time” and move away. Random acts of kindness make us happy; maybe we are unconsciously looking for opportunities.
It is also true that we tend to trust people that we categorize as “normal” (related to your question the other day: what’s normal?). I once saw a kind of Candid Camera documentary, in which a reporter dressed very good was asking people for money saying that he just lost his wallet, laptop and cell phone and he needed to take a taxi; he was offering his business card and the promise that he will return the money promptly. He made a considerable amount of money in a fairly short time.
But when a charity asks for volunteer time or money most people offer money, assuming that the money are going to be used for a noble cause; they would not as often offer their time because … “they don’t have time” and because during the volunteer time they might not be “in control”.
What makes you think that he would have not stop to give money? In reality it is your own perspective that you are assuming for the passer-by.
As someone said before in this blog… taking the picture let the passer-by participate in the happy event. I think many people will willingly give up time to do so; being part of a happy event balance their sense of urgency.
On the other hand, giving away money depends more of the kind of person the givers is. Some will always give not matter their urgency, same will question where the money will end, and thus not having the time to find out will keep going on.
I think ur question is off – it shd be what makes pple give their money and not their time…
I think it’s probably because time is not just time, but an intimacy, a closeness, and a divulgence. Whenever you encounter someone, talk to them, there is always that possibility of them “stealing” you away forever. Or at least a part of you. In a conversation/activity, anything can happen. When you give time, anything can happen. But when you give money, it is one way, it’s simpler, more direct, no complications involved.
That’s how I feel… I’m most likely wrong, as usual.
Ninguem sabe que um dia nós existimos se não marcarmos a nossa existencia.
It’s probably a combination of factors. As we walk down a city street, it is more common for those around us to ask for money than for time (whether it be from a vendor, or from the hungry and homeless). It would be more tempting to say ‘no’ to the couple asking for a photograph if this were happening a couple times per block.
As children growing up in a relatively wealthy environment we are often taught to ignore the poor who ask for money (my parents framed it as a safety issue). There is probably a bit of a subconscious class separation here — the couple with a camera is probably (relatively) wealthy, and my parents were inadvertently attempting to segregate the classes by telling me not to talk to those who ask for money. (I’m not suggesting that my parents should want to do this, just that in retrospect I think that may have been an underlying factor).
Muitas vezes por medo, outras vezes por vergonha…. de não querer dar dinheiro e dar “aquilo” que para eles (ou nós) será mais “fácil”….
One can only rightfully give one’s TIME only and not MONEY, because deep down one’s conscience that it’s the Time only which can be truly mine. The money that i think is mine now was in somebody else’s pocket yesterday and may find itself in some body else’s pocket tomorrow. That’s why, it’s more fulfilling and satisfying to give that is “Really Yours” rather than which is merely “transiently yours”. In the core of it, Human mind is really HUMAN. NO?
Pramod K Kureel
New Delhi, India
:)Time costs nothing, just take it and enjoy.
Koely
Time is more valuable then money.
It means more.
Such is the case only when we know what to do with our time, if we are conscious of time as it is passing.
It depends on what kind of person you are, everyone is different. everyone takes on different situation in diferent ways. Im not saying its a bad thing but i see it as an easy way or a shortcut of getting out of the situation by givng money then time. Obviously it is easier givng money then time. But givng the time you get more out of the situation in many ways. it could, in one way or another fulfill an empty space in your life.
it jsut depends on how you see the situation.
i think if time or the money is given with love that is jsut good enough. but with giving part of your time then you could be receiving something extra in your life.
I think the opposite is true. I think it is far easier for most people to give money than to give time. Giving of our time requires a personal sacrifice of sorts, an investment of energy, a demand that we be conscious and actively engage with another person. When we give money but not time, it appeases our consciousness without much effort on our part. Can we learn to give consciously? Can we give our money away with love? Can we make investments of time and money carry the same weight?
Time is more valuable then money.
It means more.
Using the example of the stranger taking time to stop to take a picture captures something special, in this example for the three of them.
As for the couple, if it was not for the stranger passing by who else would take a picture of the special moment of happines in their lives. Its a photo that everytime they look at it is going to bring back memories of happines.
As for the stranger, for that moment of time he feels apprecitated that he was asked by a couple that he does not know to be part of their special moment.
He was able to feel and see the outcome of giving his “time” to them.
But if the situation involved money then differnt factors come into play. It is harder to give money because you dont know where the money is going to end up at. You really dont know how it is going ot be used, if it is going to be used in a positive way or a negative way. We jsut want to know how it is going to be used and we might not have to time to follow that person to see how the person is going to use the money so you might as well give them your time because see the outcome of your giving at that moment in time.
Time comes to us evenly and never ceases to exist, we do not have to work for time even though the time rules us. Time is infinite, it seems, money is not. Money sucks the life and the dreams away from most people. And so people hold onto their money to avoid wasting their time at work.
I am sort of going in circles.
Time is easier to give than money, it is more difficult to let money go, and for most people it is a moral issue.
I think that people give much attention for money ’cause sometimes we need work hard for it. So what’s the reason that someone ask us for money if he/she can work and get his/her?
In Brazil, if you walk on a street, you can see children asking for money, but you don’t know how they’ll spend the money, so I prefer to give them time, sit down on a bar and buy a sanduiche for the child or something to drink,try to talk, ask the reason that he/she is there…
Sometimes give time is really better, words can be better than money…words touchs…money goes…
Paulo, muitos beijos da sua fã Nanda
Obrigada por compartilhar sua vida conosco, para mim é muito importante.
Because for some bizarre reason, they think that 5 cents is worth more in their pocket than the person asking for it….and because time appears to be ‘free’ at least in that lunch hour, etc, they willingly give, not realizing that they are actually feeling more guilty Not to give time, than money, thus proving that time and effort is worth more, and they don’t want the other people to feel bad, and they give the best gift after all …probably thankful that it didn ‘t cost them.
Upside down logic.
Hope you know what I mean,
x
PS if a ‘tramp’ in the street said, Please stop and talk to me, I am alone and have no friend….how many people would rather throw a penny??
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