Men’s rules of engagement…

By Paulo Coelho

I am going to spend the next two weeks on the road, but this blog will continue to be updated, comments and friends approved. However, for any personal message, please put “Personal” in the subject, and I will read/answer when I return.

You probably remember a blog posted some months ago, “Why women love men”, written by one of my friends, Julia (she is now in the top friends for a while). That lead to other posts on the same subject. Today I am listing here Men’s rules for a relationship. I am not the author, I just compiled them from lists in internet.

But I must confess: I agree with many of them. For example, I never understood why women need so many shoes!

Let’s go to the list. Seeing you soon, love

Paulo

IF YOU WANT US TO LIVE IN PEACE WITH YOU…

1- Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then we are stuck with her.

2- Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3- Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4- Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5- We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

6- Women who claim they ‘love to watch sports’ must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the hability to drink as much beer as the other sports watchers. You may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

7- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints don’t do it!

8- Most guys own three pairs of shoes – tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

9- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

10- If you think you are fat, don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.

11- On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

12- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is for your girlfriends. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

13- If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

14- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

15- If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem—you didn’t see nothing.

16- Please check the oil. Please don’t forget to put some gasoline. You also can do these simple things, so none of us will be stuck on the road.

17- Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green, orange or sky blue.

18- Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as soccer teams, the offside rule, investments or cars.

19- Pretend that you don’t know we dye our hair.

20- Gadgets are as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

21- When we say “I love you” we really mean it. Because we know the danger on pronouncing these three magical words – they will lead us to a lasting relationship.

22- Threfore, for this relationship to last, please read these rules again!

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