In Brida, a book of mine that will be published in various countries (from March onwards), the plot is based on a love triangle where it is necessary to choose one of the people involved. My question is: is it necessary to choose or, as the book itself states, can we have more than one “another half”?
This book was released on March 3rd.
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Maybe I’m a dreamer, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Finally, be faithful to only one person may be equal to a zen experience. By now, I’m up to that.
Persons that can live a triangle would maybe say it’s a useless frustration.
It depends: since it does not harm anyone, we should live our sexuality, the way it pleases us.
Gratefully.
At first glance it seems to be a mathematical problem:
If you have more than one another half - let us say two for not complicating the example needlessly - you will have instead one another half another two quarters. The more another halfes will be added the more it becomes complicated - not only mathematical. I was never as good in maths in school and I fear in this situation I will be in danger to lose overview.
And on the second glance there is the question who will be your better half (or quarter? I’m totally confused by now) or are there two better quarters or one better and one best quarter???
I must have some more time to think about it.
Hello paulo,
three is not a stable number.
I always believed, that there can never be “another half”, that when you with someone, when you love someone, it’s exclusive, and it’s forever.
Nobody else can be involved. I would never imagine any other way.
I am not so sure anymore.
I guess it is much more complicated than that.
More than our believes, our dreams, our hopes.
I wander why love fools us so much.
Why, when we’re so certain, shows us the other side. Why, it is so mysterious, so strange, so… unknown? Why, when we are happy and safe, it throws at as something, to shake our existence, to mix up with our heads.
Confusion, that’s what she brings.
Can we blame her? I don’t know. Maybe.
I guess it is in her nature, to do that. Unexplainable nature.
She’s like a wild animal that cannot be tamed, cannot be imprisoned, cannot be…stable.
At least not for long. Why is it that you can live your whole life being in love with one person and then boom, it hits you. So suddenly, so out of the blue. No answer.
So…do we have to choose?
I hope.. we don’t, I hope that, love won’t mix up with our heads so much, that we won’t know what to do, or…we won’t do anything that we would regret.
Well, maybe it’s less painfull if we won’t. Maybe not.
I guess that’s life, and love it’s a part of life.
We never know what’s coming. We never know what it’ll bring.
That’s why it is so…exciting.
Exciting and… scary at the same time.
love
Agnieszka
Podemos tener mas de una mitad y cuando eso sucede toca sufrir. “Brida de Paulo Coelho.”
Choose to love yourself its such a better triangle with me myself and I ..Love triagles never work you are either with someone or your not..Blessings Tania
Dearest Paulo and friends
I’ve been asking myself this very question for a while now. I love someone but the way our lives have changed over time, it made it very difficult for us to be with each other. We loved, but it wasn’t enough i suppose, because of the distance and other factors we could hardly communicate with each other, and well, we couldnt grow together. I’ll love him forever, even though i feel that the chances of us ever being together are slim to nothing now. I don’t even think i’ll see him again, and i think i’m learning to be alright with that. So, here begs the question, will i ever truely love again? could i ever get so close to anyone again? could i possibly find someone else who compliments me? The true is, i don’t know. I am hoping, that it is possible, because i want to live my life with love.. But i don’t know. It seems i’ve still got a lot of self exploration and healing to do on my part before that happens, but i’m hoping at the end of it all, i’ll find love again. What confuses me is that, when you love someone to the extent that i did, and give yourself completely to them, not physically, but actually merge your universes, so that you know them, you true know them, as they know you- how can you have that with two people? is it even possible? And if u do have that with one person, by discovering another person you can share it would, does that diminish your original relationship? The most logical explanation for this all that i could come up with, is that people change, and people grow, and as they change, they sort of fit with another person, and another person and so on. I suppose thats why it is so important for couples to continue to discover who the other person is, its because if you don’t, you lose sight of who they have become, and as much as you think that you two fit, you don’t really anymore. And soon, you realise that you fit better with someone else. Thats that best i could come up with, but it seems very gloomy. I just love someone who basically is now just a dream and i guess i have to let go, and i am hoping that one day, i’ll be happy with someone again. I think i will. Im still young and i’ve got a long way to go..
Paulo, i have a question for you-
As you can read, im fairly confused, with this particular problem. You’ve been married for years now, and its evidently clear that you love your wife and the two of you do share your universes. If you were to go back, years ago, to just when you fell in love, when you felt married to that person even though you havent vowed yet, when u knew that you really loved no matter what happens and you felt that you could nevre stop loving.. Tell me, in that position, could you possibly image sharing that with someone else? Sharing yourself to that extent with another person? Do you even think its possible? Sir, i would really appreciate your comment, and anyone else for that matter.
Thank you for being
Yajna
I’m an “ALL” or “NOTHING” kinda gal;) Most always I choose nothing, “it” has to catch me off guard;)
When I’m in, I’m in, no doubt!!! When I hear of others in doubt, I tell them to make sure it’s NOT because of a third. Instead, to take a closer look at their “ALL.”
i believe one may love more than one souls..i dont say people beacuse i dont refer only to people
to give my example, i have always loved loved loved my piano, playing my piano and composing songs…but two months ago i bought my first guitar..it was orange and so beautiful and i felt like it was calling to me and so i got to the store and bought it..when i am playing either of them it feels like it is my other half..so i think now i have two other halfs..completely different instruments, but still they are part of me..
I think the same corresponds to people
Love to all of you
Dear Yajna, please read what i have written above..i think if your love was the ‘piano’, then an other love ‘guitar’ will come in your way..And each of them will be your half, in a different way, but surely in a very deep and profound way…
The truth is,I never believed that we are meant to be with one person, because of the fact that love may take many many forms..i havent come across a person that i feel he loves the same way that i do..and that is because everyone is unique..and we constantly change..but sometimes we may feel that we have found what we were always looking for, and so we struggle to keep him/her near us and close to us, but if he/she goes away, or something happens that we end up apart it doesnt mean that he/she doesnt love us, but he loves us with a different way…different hearts different universes…they all unite when love is the bond, but they still grow differently…
Love to you
p.s i hope i helped you a little..
some months ago i was reading a book where,in the end,the main female character discovered that she had two soul mates,but she chose one of the two men.Some readers argued with the author that this wasn’t true love,but she answered that this made that perfect true love even stronger because she had another option.If you have one soul mate and you want to be with your soul mate you have no choises,but if you have two and you want to live your present you have to choose.It’s a painful choise,but still a choise.But i’m still trying to cope with that :)
I’ve read all the comments before and I am still considering all the opinions… Each of them is right in a way, but the Truth is only one.
Each person is unique and perceives things in an original manner, still love is the same, the essence is the same but lived in a multitude of ways. What seems right for me, may not be so right for another person. We have total freedom to choose what is best for us as individuals and as a community and we should be aware of this important power to make a difference in our lives!
I strongly believe in reincarnation and I also believe that we had many life experiences, we had different partners, we were married many times and so on. It is not necessarily a question of commitment to only one person, because we had many commitments during all the lives we were through, but what draws you to a certain person is important, if you are at the same level of evolution or not, if you have similarities, if you associate to a partner because both can learn from that experience. It is not easy to maintain a love relationship the whole life, as people are under transformation, our personalities change, but love must be felt and understood as an universal value, free and generous. We should love what is beautiful, eternal and beyond ordinary perception, love for the whole humanity as a mirror of what God really is, the Spirit, the beautiful and enlightened aspects of everything. Love cleans all the impurities and just shines! Love has the mission to transform everything for the better and that’s why we take a firm decision to share our life with someone, because we both want to learn some important life lessons from the respective experience, we need knowledge of ourselves and also knowledge about the others, as a reflection of what we are in order to make peace with our inner selves.
I don’t want to associate love with jealosy and egotism, love triangles and so on, love simply is, offers and enjoys! The rest is not worth being taken into consideration. I prefer to put my attention only on positive aspects, those which make us grow more hearts! A powerful heart just loves, a weak mind notices only the flaws of everything…
I love “to love” what is good, beautiful, delicate and invincible at the same time and eternal: Light and Truth! :-)
Lots of affection and many, many hugs,
Carmen Larisa
Dear Paulo,
I´ve read your precise question several times. As I read your words, they imply that our other half is out there, somewhere in the world. My intuitive sense is that my other half is an inner polarity in my self, as in my case I have a woman´s body, my other half is my inner masculine. As I personally am very inclined to sharing myself with one man at a time, I guess I would have to choose between which man to be with. However I have a friend of mine, a woman, who is completely and perfectly capable of loving and sharing herself with more men than one. As I see her, if she lived in a cultural context where it was acceptable for a woman to have a deep, intimate relationship with several men simultaneously, she would be totally able to live this, as that is how her deep nature is. I´ve seen her have two simultaeneous intimate relationships years ago, and she was perfectly in her own natural flow, her surroundings however were not.
I think we are at a time of learning so deeply more about what it means to be ourselves, what is means to be intimate and how we share love. Old forms of relating obviously no longer fulfill an enourmous amount of people. And choices are involved and will be involved. I´m completely sure it is possible to love more people at one time. The love that goes thru me to them is part of my own nature. The love that they might choose to give me is part of their gift to me. What I choose to do when I love a person, what I choose to share of myself with them is a delicate and important choice that I do my best to be conscious about.
with my reswpect
The longer we live the more alternatives…
There is no longer only black and white. You can’t never say never, everything is changing, there are no straight answers.
Life is a puzzle and so is love.
Dear Yajna,
I´m very touched by your words.
As you open up for coments from other people that Paulo, here goes my words to you. When I got married 10 years ago, this was a marriage that I entered with my husband because I then confimed that I decided to live my life with him. My focus and choice was completely centered on being with him, the man that he is. In that position I was and still am, singling the unique man that he is out and my imagination ws and is in what I want to be part of, being with him.
What I share with him is unique because of who I am and who he is while we share our lives. Our union is particular for the man and the woman that we are and learn to be, grow into being together. What I share with him is who I am because my heart calls me to do so.
Would it be possible for me to share my self as freely with somebody else if my heart called me to do so? If my heart called me to love someone else as deeply, I hope I would dare. And I sincerely hope to have the discernment necessary to be able to have the integrity to deal with whatever would be the best in the situation for all involved.
wishing you well, may you be loed and love.
Sibils
another point, can a person that doesn’t love himself really love anything else? some people find excuses in their lives to cover their mess, fine. what will you bring to love? hell? what kind of fairytale is that? sorry mate but you have to wake up, what kind of family, kids, will you have around? stop taking drugs and you will find your love, your happiness and your freedom. otherwise you are just a walking zombie, who is your love? heroin? is that whom you are married to? you are married to hell, in everysense. how can you say you love anyone? love yourself first, then think of the rest.
how can you speak of any love? selfdestruction is love? you need some MAJOR rewinding in your cells, life 101. love 101.
You don’t choose these things I guess. Perhaps we might want to bring God or some of his assistants here to shed some light in the discussion, but if all comes to having the freedom of choice btw 2 soulmates, I guess we will choose the one who makes us happy with the least possible harm done. How about the one who reaches you? The one who throws the right arrow at your heart?
Life remains such a mystery. I guess we shall just have faith in our own hearts.
Annie and Sibils,
Thank you for taking the time out to reply to me, it is much appreciated.
Annie, i really loved your story. It holds alot of truth in, and has given me more of a perspective into loving more than one individual completely. I have been a character who has always believed in one love that could last a life time- as fairy tale as it sounds, i felt a love that existed like that, and i think i will love him forever because only i and him know what we shared. However, now i’m beginning to see that just because i love someone, it does not mean i cannot love someone else- because as you have said, love exists in many forms, although they are not the same, it does not mean they you love less, just merely differently. I suppose because i was hurt, i lost sight of many things, and now i find myself remembering who i am, discovering what i love and focusing more and more on what i desire as an individual. I’m got to give this ‘break up’ (i don’t like this term) so credit, because my goodness, have i grown over this time.
Sibils- I admire your honesty, and the fact that you were willing to share a bit of your life with me. Truthfully, there was one line that just got to me in your response- Would it be possible for me to share my self as freely with somebody else if my heart called me to do so? If my heart called me to love someone else as deeply, “I hope I would dare.”
I read this and i stopped for a bit and smiled. I’ve been so focused on wondering if its even possible that i forgot, with love you don’t choose. As Carmen mentioned, you just love. Regardless. And i think if i am honoured with the opportunity, i will dare to love. I think that i should change my attitude a bit now, i’m going to stop thinking about love and its future possiblities, nor am i going to dwell in the past after all, what is done, is done. I think i’m going to try to just be happy. Do things that make me happy, and just love. Openly, anthing and everything. I believe this is my first step, to a healthier relationship. I have been doing this, but it seems recently i lost sight of it, so i, a working progress will start again. And well, if someone calls to my heart- I will dare answer. (whenever it will be)
Wow, i really love this place, sometimes on the most distraught days, i come and read comments and i am simply uplifted by everyone here. I love you all :)
MWwwwwwwahh
Yajna
Well, I always thought that people could have more than 1 soulmates. It’s just that they don’t necessarily have to be significant others. It could be your best friend, your family, or even your pet.
But in love (as in between a man and a woman), I agree with Rainer above: three is not a stable number.
I can’t wait to read the book.
cheers! =)
Margie
- I went to our local library last night and they didn’t have any Coelho’s at all!!
xxxx
I shall not try to predict the ways of Love.
She will take or give whatever she considers necessary.
I shall do well to follow her calling, without judgement.
Carmen Larisa - I truely share your thoughts about love as a positive. Pure and unselfish love will always have a positive effect on the world we live in.
When it comes to having several “other halves” I do believe it’s not only possible, but probable. Other people make us what we are. I believe no man can grow on his own. We need another soul to become the best we can be. We need the motivation and inspiration of others to evolve.
Different souls drive us to become better in different ways. To have a soul mate, a better half, doesn’t mean that it’s our only soul mate, our only better half. I strongly believe it’s a feeling that can be shared with several people.
Sometimes we meet people we’ve never seen before, and feel an instant connection. We feel our soul shine in front of and with them.
It doesn’t take a physical relationship to find other halves. It only takes an open heart and mind, communicating with another soul.
When it comes to commitment and romantic relationships, I do believe we need to make a choise. To keep in mind that we should treat others with love and respect, in an honest way.
In my mind i have options. In my heart there is none. The other half. In the circle of Love. Is for me. The One.
Annie,
That’s why I think if you’ve (generally speaking) developed into your true self. You will find your true love (if that’s what you want). The more time you spend alone (without a significant other) the more you learn about what YOU want. As opposed to shaping yourself around the wants of another. This provides a more stable and emotionally fulfilling relationship for you in the long run.
You become self composed as opposed to a samples from everyone else’s playlist;)
You listen to your own needs first, diminishing all of your own insecurities; you can give more of yourself.
I use to play the clarinet. I liked the clarinet. However, after thinking about more of what I wanted I chose the guitar.
Basically to know something and to love something fully and completely, you must first know yourself. That takes a lot of time when you have an easy life…It’s not until you’re thrown several curve balls until you hit a home run. When you do and you do it all by yourself (without a significant other) it makes you stronger. Then you’ll be ready to fine tune a guitar, OR a piano. Bottom line is the more you know yourself the less you question what you want, and the better music you end up making. Personally I like to put “all” of my energy into one instrument. Before “all” is said and done I’ll be playing my guitar with my pink toe;) But I’m a VERY passionate person, I NEVER settle for so so;)
Yajna,
now it´s my turn, your words make me smile, a big smile for you and for what you write about letting yourself love.Last time I wrote here, I wrote so fast that I misspelt my own name, this time I´m taking a little more care…
Sibila
Dear Karen, you say that you played the clarinet and you liked it..Did you really love it??
I LOVE my piano AND my guitar…I simply cant choose…i dont know what to choose and i dont want to , to be honest…I dont know if i should..A friend of mine, a guitarist, recently told me that what i do is so wrong and that i should commit only to one instrument and give my all..only that way will i make the best music..it really hit me hard what he said and started thinking about it..Then this question of the week came up..and so here we all are..
I really liked what you said ” the more you know yourself….the better music you end up making.” but i think music is not about instruments..music is about emotions and feelings and the only way we can express them are with these instruments..whichever it is.. that is why i dont think i have to choose one..i love them both..i think the same appeals to love..love is not about the number of people and all the rules that we make so that we can all fit in..it is not whether we should make a choice..love is the purest and the finest feeling, but it is more than that..it is the most positive energy we feel..that can change our lives, that can change us..so can music…
Dear Yajna,
you ll see soon you ll heal, just keep in mind to never lose sight of who you are..honestly you are such a beautiful person….
What means half in oneness, how many parts gives one?
Love is blind they say…would we see the unseen if it wasn’t?
Love
All Ways
Hildegarde
Dear all..
I honestly believe that in one point of time, I have only one “another half”..
but over time, it is true, that we grow into different people, and sometimes the person that was ur half, isn’t anymore..
throughout our lives, it is only normal in my opinion, to have more than one “another half”..
Take care
i have been asking myself the same question for quite some time now. i am lucky to have met two people whom could be my other half. at the moment i am in a relationship with one half, and i am very happy to be so. still the question keeps popping up in my head, can i have more than one other half? i don’t have an answer and don’t know for how long this situation will continue, but i do know that for now i feel blessed to have met 2 people that have a special place in my life.
I’m with Karen, anyone who’s going to be with me, will give me their all. I’m worth it! I deserve It! I’m not settling for anything less!!! Being respected and loved whole heartly is a must! Because I know myself, love myself, and know my worth. Those are my rules:)
I wander why we are so full of contradictions?
Are we all like this or just a few?
Or maybe I’m the only one…?
So strange…, when one minute you want ice cream and the next you want whiskey.
Can you choose? Can you have both?
Why is it that you want to feel safe one day, and the next…you want excitement?
Can two people live inside one?
?
Is it because everything is changing… and so do we?
love
Agnieszka
..
Life..
is.. like a taste of wine,
when you’re alone,
it makes you lose yourself
and die..
it makes you fall in love..
….
Yes, I believe we can have more than one “another half”. It might be a bit more complicated, and not as comfortable as when there are just two people involved. But just because something is not so comfortable, hard and complicated, doesen`t mean that it is wrong. That it is not worth fighting for. Just because someone decided that love and marriage between two people is the right thing to do, doesen`t mean it is always the way it should be. Love is love and sometimes love find its own way. Love is love, and it is full of surprises.
Love
Biedronka
Interesting comments about a generous topic… :-)
Thank you very much, dear Mika and dear Yajna for your words of appreciation! :-) I believe that when you have patience and believe in the power of good, love always knocks at the door! Adults have the tendency to associate love with all sorts of impure things which are not really the pure essence of this beautiful feeling!
Let me tell you the version of a child, a pupil of mine who is 5 years old about Love: I know from the novel of love that a person’s love goes to another person and is transformed into a big red heart. Every man knows what mission has on Earth because his or her heart holds the knowledge of the mission. One man’s heart enters into another man’s heart and discovers what is there: love or hatred, it depends on the person. People have different missions, but also their missions can be very similar. Children teach grown-ups how to be children again, because the adults have forgotten this important thing in their lives. God teaches us the language of love, which for most of us is a foreign language! :-)
I believe that ideas like these represent the essence of Love as it is, simple, pure and really felt only by those who have innocence in their hearts!
May God bless all of us with Innocence, Spontaneity and Wisdom!
Many hugs and lots of appreciation,
Carmen Larisa
Dear Carmen,
Love has many faces and whether you have an innocent heart or not, it may not matter, love will turn everything upside down, anyway.
Love is unpredictable, untamed…
You can either fight it or let it flow…
If you fight it, you end up…empty, sad,..
if you let it flow, you have to be prepared for all the colors and shades she’ll bring.
Love has no rules…
love
Agnieszka
Carmen Larisa, you have a beautiful name. I really thank you for your 5 year old pupil´s words. They are exactly what I needed to see just now.
Sibila Maria India
Eu acho que sim. E que…irá chegar uma época que as pessoas irão encontrar suas verdadeiras metades, mesmo, estando comprometida com outra. Isso tudo pode estar relacionado as várias missões pessoais.
Alí em Brida, houve um relacionamento entre três pessoas de forma que os três sabiam que deveriam levar uma missão prá frente, no entanto, o respeito pelos sentimentos do outro foi poupado aos gestos visíveis. Mas nos invisíveis, todos tiveram encontros espirituais, impulsionando forças entre todos.
Alí em Brida os três envolvidos não tiveram maturidade por livre espontânea vontade, porque ainda havia dúvida entre os três, exceto na compreensão àquela missão coletiva.
Nada acaba sem ter começado, quando, pela vontade de Deus nossa Fé por Ele é redobrada. Quem acredita, Deus não deixa desistir.
Beijos,
Mari Raphael.
I think..the most important is to have faith and believe. Without faith u are already died.
Faith is hope…Hope in your dreams that turn into reality.
I haven’t read “Brida” yet, but it’s very interesting question. Maybe we are often confused when we meet our 1/3,1/4,1/5… thinking it’s our 1/2. :) I don’t think it’s possible to love, but really love, more than one person at the time. When I love someone, I feel completly full filled and there’s no need for something or someone else in my life in that way. I can be attracted to someone but it’s not the same, it’s not that happiness that makes me feel so divine and part of God’s universe. When I love my heart only belongs to the one I love.
Our heart has already made a choice, and if we have to choose it’s because we haven’t paid enought attention when it had spoken to us.
We have to be brave and follow our heart,that way will never be lost.
Muchos besos
Tanja:)
Rainer,
Ahah!
You suggest 4?
:)
Two halves are enough to make One.
Thanks
Love
Damien
the third one is here to prove you made the right choice with the second and that you have far more imagination;)
Thanks
Love
Damien
It amazes me when people disagree on loving. Loving don’t need to be a physical thing for me. I wish we could love as much as possible to everybody. But when we talk about commitment through marriage, I think we should consider the word called respect. When you think and feel that you cant hurt anyone in the process then go for it or else you will regret for the rest of your life not showing your love to the other half you might be feeling. I don’t know if I’m making sense here….
Dear Sibila Maria, you have a beautiful name, too! You are from India, aren’t you? I am from Romania :-)
I have always considered India an incredible country but since starting meditation classes at Sahaja Yoga, I am really fascinated about the spiritual power of this country and hopefully, one day God will help me visit it, discover its beauty! :-)
And you’re welcome, my dear, I am simply glad that the sweet words of a child managed to brighten your day! We should all pay attention to the child inside our hearts, too because he or she has some very interesting and useful advice for us about how to allow joy and love to flood our lives :-)
And dear Agnieszka, you are right, love has no rules indeed, it imposes no obligations, it is absolutely free! By the way, I prefer to let Love flow, under all aspects and no one can prepare you for what comes next, but I guess this is the charm of believing and hoping for the best!
One more thing, dear Bottledgreen, it is really sad when people disagree on Love and all other universal values. If people all over the world felt love, sharedwith an open heart, there would be no wars, no hatred, just peace, relaxation and joy! I still hope that one blessed day people will see themselves reflected in the others and then we will allow ourselves to feel eternal joy, without limits, we will feel blessed and worthy of God’s attention and protection.
I believe that only when we love without expecting anything in return, without artificialities imposed by others or even by ourselves, then we are really free, really the Light of the Spirit. Otherwise,what is the use of trying to be appreciated for what you are not?
Many, many hugs and all the best in the world,
Carmen Larisa
Dear Carmen Larisa,
I was born in Portugal and I live in Denmark, my father was portugise and my mother is Danish. As a grown up I´ve taken the middlename India as well because the spiritual traditions from India as well as from the Indian cultures in both North and South America give me so very much.
And Bottledgreen, love and respect are interconnected, they go with eachother. Discernment is necessary to be able to have the integrity to deal with whatever would be the best in the situation for all involved.I believe that if we really act from love in our hearts, we also respect the best for all involved.
Sibila Maria India
Thank You, Paulo, for this birthday gift to me:) (Brida was published on my birth day - on March 3). I needed it so much…
“Another half”
In any fractional analysis, a whole which has been divided in two will always coincide with their half.
Even when a whole of the same kind is divided in two cannot fit on the first half.
In love and in any other forms, you, being the “half” of a certain “whole” will only fit in one and ONLY another “half”.
Sometimes, we seemingly fit, and we accept that as our “real half”; but in the long run, the salient curves and edges would be so uncomfortable that we burst out and say: “Let me outa here!”
Decision counts a great deal!
Dear Carmen Larisa,
I hope I didn’t offend you when I used only your first name; I like them both too.
:-)
Funnny…most of us want love to flow…
I wander where she’s going to take us..??
:-)
lots of love
Agnieszka
Dear Paolo,
This question of yours have generated different conflicting results…each one of them correct in a sense.
Personally, my answer to your question “is it possible to have more than one ‘another half’?” I would like to answer this in the essence of TIME.Because then..my answers are totally different. Let me elaborate….
I believe that you can only have ONE ‘other half’ at any one time in your life. In a love triangle, this implies you are LOVING two persons at the SAME TIME. For me, this will not work. For me, this implies indecisiveness.Each one of these two ‘other halves’ probably touches you and fulfills you in different ways. But one has to really decipher who among the two is the one TRUE love, and who completes you the most. It is hard enough - this thing called love - between two people, what more if there was three at one time? or more? In the process of deciding which one is the ‘other half’, one must also take into major consideration how the other one feels about you. Because after all…love is a two-way street. And your love for the other- no matter how true and pure it is- does not guarantee that he/she will love you back. Your ONE TRUE LOVE needs to be a reciprocal relationship and it needs to be in a state where each one COMPLETES the other, and each half makes the other whole. If you have found this at one time, then you don’t need any other third or fourth half.
HOWEVER…..in the grander scheme of life and love…again i am talking in the essence of time : IN A LIFETIME…can you have more than one ‘another half’? Then I would say yes. Meaning…you can have several true loves/soulmate/another half…but NOT at the same time. It is very probable that you TRULY love a person at this moment in your life, but it doesn’t work out. So then…you close that chapter, open another one, and fall in love with another again.
It is clear that in the preceeding paragraphs..I was talking with my brain, my logic. Now it is the turn of my heart…and I ask my heart (and I am throwing this question to everybody) “If in the end, your soul comes face to face with your Creator and He would ask you : In your lifetime, among all the loves of your life, who would be ‘the one’ for you?” And my heart would answer…only one name…and then it will be true…because then my answer will not be bound by reasons, by society and by any rules….
Will your soul be able to answer just one?
I have to worry that it will be challenging to maintain…It’s difficult enough to fulfill one woman and/or man’s appitite. It sounds fun…But..knowing it will only last so long.
Dear Sibila Maria India,
I had a little bit of hesitation when affirming that you are from India, not to make a mistake but it is o.k. now, because I understood that you are, in a way, spiritually connected to the Indian culture… So am I; in another life I believe that I lived in India or I was a native Indian American, something like that… :-)
Anyway, the most important moment is what we are now, what we have become and what we can become! And I want and like to believe that now, more than ever, we learned to cherish Love as an eternal gift from God. It’s time for all of us to bloom! Maybe rationality doesn’t want to accept very easily, but our hearts feel that it’s time for spirituality, for the Light, for entering into another dimension, that of the Spirit! :-)
That’s why, dear Agnieszka, you should not be even worried that I might get upset. Why should I get upset anyway? :-) I like so much what you write, and I feel that the words come from your sincere heart. Keep doing the good work, my dear! I am really convinced that Love always takes us to the Light, Freedom and eternal Joy! Don’t have doubts about that; it will happen anyway, it’s just a matter of time and acceptance. What I don’t know yet is how many people will be included in this new enlightened world, I am not worried about me, but for the others as I want the whole world to be transformed for the better and saved from anything that is not pure but my heart says to my mind that everything will be allright because God’s Love is infinite! :-)
Lots of love, many hugs and all the best in the world,
Carmen Larisa
Love is neither calculable nor are there any general rules. Answers to this question can only be based on individual beliefs and experiences. Furthermore feelings are never statically and sometimes change without having control.
From my personal point of view I consider triangle relationships are complicated and therefore have no chance to be long-lived. I have no experience of my own – I never was in the situation to love two persons at the same time. I live together with my husband since 17 years and the fact that none of us ever intended to leave - in the contrary we had just renewed our wedding in the beginning of this year – shows me that we have found a good way to deal with each other.
This is what I think love is – love is basically, the water you need every day for staying alive.
Another thing is what you call “Schwärmerei” in German or to be enamoured. This is like drinking a glass of champagne – it tastes good and makes you feeling high, but you really don’t need it to survive. Nevertheless I like very much to have a glass of champagne from time to time, because it has very positive effects – you win enthusiasm and charisma.
Where the boundaries are between to be enamoured and true love – I don’t know – love can not be measured. I think there is no use at all to discuss how you would decide in a triangle situation, because I believe decisions in love affairs should be made out of instinct and not out of your brain – you cannot make a forecast. You have to let it flow and take it how it is.
And at last like everywhere in life risks cannot be excluded.
vicky:
“in the end,the main female character discovered that she had two soul mates,but she chose one of the two men”.
Dear vicky,
I am totally disagree with it! It wasn’t Brida, who made the CHOICE! It was actually the magician! If you read the book attentively, you will see that Brida actually wanted to stay with him and even follow his Tradition instead of destined for her…But the magician deprived her of her right and made the choice for both of them. (It reminded the situation from the movie “Casablanca”, but the main female character Ilsa refused from choosing herself unlike Brida).
In my opinion, Brida should stay with the magician.
Bottledgreen:
“When you think and feel that you cant hurt anyone in the process then go for it or else you will regret for the rest of your life not showing your love to the other half you might be feeling.”
But how do you know if your feelings right? And can one of the halfs hurt another with LOVE?!
“is it necessary to choose or, as the book itself states, can we have more than one “another half”?”
Dear Paulo,
I think that if it happens so that we meet MORE that 1 half and we decide to choose and leave only one in our life - we at least should try not to destroy the life of another one or more…with this decision.
Hi Paulo,
I feel the other half does not exist outside ourself. Love is like a mirage, the moment you go near it vanishes. That’s one of the reasons you don’t find happy marriages. In a love triangle you may choose one amongst the two or you can hold on to both of them. It does not matter, it is just a matter of what can keep you going. The only thing that matters is that the joy flows, it does not matter from where. Its just like using a prop.
Please dare to let go
if but for an instant
of the ego
Please dare
because there is so much to gain
Please do not try
to pretend that you know what Love is
Please don’t
because there is so much to suffer
She will show you the way
if but you let her
Initially this question was a bit disconcerting to me as I never considered it seriously enough, so I decided to reflect and dwell on it for days.
I realize then that it depends essentially on ones own concepts on personal freedom and social dogmas, and that consequently will vary considerable depending on people religious and social dilemmas. Even if secretly they could find themselves in a position of duality, like Bertrand Russell said “…between morality and the life of impulse…”their choice is ultimately dictated by outside(of the self) concepts.
Personally I thing that all has to do with maturity when the ‘how to…’ is left behind the discovery journey begins.And why not? with the right people it may even be a great experience, it certainly would test personal concepts of love
Love to all
Milou
Caro Paulo,
I started reading Brida a few years ago and stopped not sure why.Never pick it up since then and just had an idea that I liked the tiny bit that I had read and that I would read it again someday. I wasn’t ready.
Around 3 years passed. Read it in the first weekend of February 08. I liked the Alchemist, but Brida was different. Brida was about me.
I am not a witch or anything similar. But I understand what you are saying.I do understand the path.
I always had my own beliefs. Never believed in something because somebody told me to, but only because I thought so. I developed my own set of ideas.
And, somehow, you know my set of ideas. You know my beliefs. You know me.
I wonder how you know and I cant help feeling that you know more about my ideas that even I do.How do you know?
Even weirder when I stopped reading the book 3 years ago (while still in Portugal)and restarted now (that I am living for over a year in Ireland)…My life is full of coincidences and something that I cant explain leads my through it (I don’t believe in GOD but I believe in us as Gods). Energy,life,something i know but don’t understand.
To answer your question quite simply: Yes, you do have to choose otherwise you will have unnecessary pain, you wont be happy ever.You will learn this through out life.
Yes, there are other “half’s”. Not 2, as it would be mathematically expected, but dozens and I even suspect hundreds.
This has nothing to do with love of partners (its without any sexual meaning). They can be of the same sex, children, they can even be trees. You will know at the moment you see them.But see its not the right sense here. You will feel.
You are right, in persons you do know that by looking into the eyes. In things you feel the energy (even places where you have never been before but this energy tells you that you have).
I wont complicate anymore even because I know you already know all this.
Eu também sou uma plantadora, uma jardineira. Não sei para onde vou. Mas vou…
All the best for the continuation of your journey:
M
sorry,smb,but i wasn’t speaking about brida…it was a totally different book..
I envy all of you, I cannot wait to read the book, it supposed to come soon… and still ….not here….
:-(
I want to say that I´m part of a fullfilled, happy marriage and I know of several other. It takes love. It takes being conscious and sincere. It takes work and willingness to grow. It´s possible. And it´s certainly here too.
Your soul mate… You recognize him/her as soon as your eyes meet in the depth of each other’s soul. You just touched upon a glimpse of eternity. This may last only a few seconds, but in your heart, you know him/her again immediately. I am not talking about “deja-vu” for it is far deeper recognition that passes through each and every cell of your physical and spiritual body. The memories of past, present and future are all contained in creation – unconditional love.
Our “Love” for our soul mate is for eternity not just for one life. So how can there be more than one? One soul can only have one soul mate unless there is a “soul health problem” due to lets say “binding & co.”. Of course, we love other persons during our life dearly (ONE AT THE TIME) – but our soul mate - our other half is like a precious glass stone reflecting our thoughts, our emotions, our very being with all the colors of the universe. And if you could hear “auras”, the symphony every time you reconnect would be celestial.
To be with your soul mate … is it possible in every life? So the very moment in time, you realize that you recognized him/her again, just the sheer joy of knowing is it not enough? For is it not foremost a spiritual union? So are we not always connected in a different dimension, even if we are not together here on earth?
You cannot impose the seal of possession on your soul mate and there is no fear of loss. Life’s spiral dance continues and so do you …. through darkness and light. Life’s lessons are very mysterious at times. Our souls reconnect, but do our egos always recognize each other, or do at times, for whatever reason or twist of fate, only one of the “egos” recognizes the other?
May our angels watch over us for the times are very “illusionary” and the light of truth needs faithful warriors.
Satora
It Happens a lot that people feel attached to more than one person at the same time..I believe this is attributed to the diversity of characters in human beings so the one becomes attracted to some traits in person no.1 and some other traits of person no.2 ..sometimes we act and think in a way of contradiction just like when someone likes another for her quietness and calm nature and feels she is more like him thats why he is attracted to her but on the other hand he is attracted to that crazy outgoing extrovert girl as well because he feels that she completes something missing in him.
And I believe we feel for different people in different ways…we cant love someone in the same way as the other..
to answer the question…Its Yes we must choose if we are talking about marriage and long-lasting bonds and we can skip choosing if we are just having relations out of commitment..
and when it comes to commitment we have to choose the half that completes and contains us not the half that is completely different from us..
Regards
Karim
is it necessary to choose or can we have more than one “another half”?
When my husband died people asked whether it felt as if I had lost ‘my other half’ > I hadn’t. I had lost the man that I loved, but he was not my other half. If he had been I would only have part of me, ie half, and I am and was a complete person, I was whole and so was my husband. It was simple: I loved the man and he loved me back. A chance meeting brought us together: we met, and in that very first moment we knew. It was magical yet the most normal thing to have happened. It was a home- coming, meeting him set me free.
And now that he has gone I live with the knowledge that it was good. Had he been my other half I would be limping or hobbling, and be in need of a wheelchair or crutches… instead, because of our love, I was able to stand strong, and the fact that he did love me so much gave me strength to move on: such was our love.
It’s not that I have not been sad, not that I have not howled with the unbearable pain and hurt, not that I have simply accepted it without asking WHY. But I have been able to cope, to understand, to appreciate, to accept and to be grateful. The man died in my arms, and although deeply deeply
sad and totally surreal, it was also tremendous and tremendously special and intimate, and REAL. I allowed him to die; he died a beautiful death.
… and yes I do believe that there are more ‘opportunities’ Meeting John happened at a certain moment in time when he and I were ‘ready’; I wasn’t quite ready for his death but it has brought about changes and therefore I have ‘moved on’ (not changed, one doesn’t change) and I am open for new love, and looking forward to it… but will it come again?
Oh, such a complicated matter and there is so much more to say…
g
x
Dear G
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine going through, what you did, and at the same time it is so good to hear that you at peace, somehow.
I also hope you’ll find new, great love soon;
I wish you that from the bottom of my heart.
lots of love
Agnieszka
Dear Sibila Maria India,
It’s so nice to hear that there are many of us who has the happy, fulfilled marriage.
But let me to tell you something…
as I wrote before, love fools us…
so much…that you can have a great, amazing love since you barely a kid, teenager…first love for both of you,….you can have a man of your dreams, who loves you till death, who is your best…everything, your friend, your lover, your….absolutely everything, the real dream come true, you feel like…you are ONE…like this life is a fairy tale….and….
after so many years together….something…starts to mix up in your head….suddenly….so out of the blue…..although you love your husband with all your heart…and nothing, absolutely nothing has changed, everything is fantastic, great….
why?
because love….is unpredictable…has no limits…no rules…and has many faces…
of course, it’s up to you what you are going to do…but you cannot….not notice…
:-)
funny, huh?
That’s life,
like love, it is….a puzzle,
and no matter how hard we try, how strong our love is, these moments will come…maybe to make our life more exciting…. maybe to make us think what’s more important, maybe….to test us….
who knows?
love?
love
Agnieszka
it is possible to be in contact with more than one of our other half’s. then there is no need to choose. You do not need to have a sexual relationship with every other half!
Funny, sometimes I think that it is only our mind that is playing tricks on us….
:-)
Our heart always knows….
Love is a very tricky feeling. It can easily be confused with other feelings, such as attraction, close friendship or wishful emotion.
Loving someone is not easy. As it is not easy loving yourself. You’re the one who knows better the defects and you’ve got the chance to talk about it… pretty difficult.
Loving is much more than a feeling, and it has to be worked every day. It is like moon phases: if it is not growing is because is decreasing. It is hard because the person you love changes at the same time that you are changing too! It is hard to realize that what used to be good in the past, now it does not work any more…
If you meet another half… yes, you’ve got a problem.
Having more than one ‘half’? Could be, but it would be really difficult, because we are too selfish to face it. Too traditional to break the rules. Too human to manage it.
Joan
dear PAULO AND ALL,
I have a friend happily married ,has a son.There is a schoolmate of hers who has been in love with her for almost 18 yrs now.he hasnt seen anybody ,he is an army officer and just believes that my friend is her real soulmate and wl come to her.My friend feels sad for him and Ifeel more surprised.How can someone wait for so long
I was in Guildford
http://www.heureka.clara.net/surrey-hants/gu-ford.htm
a lovely market town in the south of England, when to my pleasant surprise I saw a copy of Brida in a bookshop.
Later that day, I looked at Paulo’s blog which I had not looked at for some time, and saw mention that Brida had been published in English.
Brida was originally published in 1990, but not published in English until March 2008.
I do not know why, but I did not pick up a copy, a decision I regretted on my way home.
I returned to Guildford a couple of weeks later, and made sure that I picked up a copy of Brida.
http://www.bookcrossing.com/journal/5987613
My initial thoughts on reading Brida, were that it was a magical book.
The power of the writings of Paulo Coelho lie in their simplicity. This is especially true of The Alchemist and Brida.
There are paintings, which when you look at them the subject in the painting appears to be looking directly at you, no matter where you stand. If he is looking at me, how can he also be looking at the person standing over there?
The power of the writings of Paulo Coelho, is that when you read one of his books, he often appears to be writing you a personal letter. If he is writing you a personal letter, how can it be that other readers experience the same feeling, that he is writing to them a personal letter?
This was certainly so for me, when I read both The Zahir and Brida.
No sooner had I started Brida, than it seemed like I was reading a personal letter for me.
I then had a very powerful sense of deja vu.
When Brida is taken to the woods by Wicca, I knew the church, the door leading into the church.
When she ‘reads’ the book, and enters her past life, I knew we were talking about the Cathars, before there is mention of the Cathars. I knew we were in Montsegur, before it was mentioned.
http://www.heureka.clara.net/music/eric-levi.htm
I always wondered how the Cathars of Montsegur were betrayed, now I know, the French discovered their secret passage.
I also experienced a sense of synchronicity.
http://www.heureka.clara.net/books/synchronicity.htm
A couple of days before I picked up my copy of Brida a friend from Rwanda called round. I was telling her about the Crusades the Catholics mounted against the Cathars!
Keith
You know when you meet your Soulmate.
I met my Soulmate two summers ago.
The more I read of Brida, the more I felt I was reading a personal letter from Paulo Coelho, written just for me.
Brida is so like my Soulmate.
Although I recognise my Soulmate, she does not, or is too frightened to accept the Truth.
Last summer she stayed with me, then left without saying a word, just left a note.
It was as though my heart had been torn out.
The house seemed so cold and empty without her presence.
A few weeks ago, I had an interesting discussion on angels. I mentioned my Soulmate, though not referred to as such. Have faith, I was told.
http://www.heureka.clara.net/religion/synchronicity-and-angels.htm
Last week I picked up a copy of Brida to read.
http://www.bookcrossing.com/journal/5987613
Before I started to read Brida, I had a chance conversation with a lovely girl. She was contemplating whether or not to buy a copy of The Witch of Portobello. I said she should, and she did.
We had a long and interesting conversation about Paulo Coelho, his books and literature in general.
The Witch of Portobello, explores similar themes to Brida of the feminine side of religion.
http://www.heureka.clara.net/books/the-witch-of-portobello.htm
The day I picked up Brida, my Soulmate called. She wanted to thank me for her birthday presen