As we all know, one day we will die - either we like it or not. Having this in mind, I ask you : how do you imagine your funeral? If you want to know how I imagine mine, I wrote this text in my book “Like The Flowing River” that I just found in the internet : Please click here
Free eCards
Free Texts
Free Postcards
Free Wall Calendar
Virtual Exhibition
Pirate Coelho
Internet Books
Warrior of the Light
To receive the newsletter :
Previous Editions
When Iwas young I used to look at the family grave( in the house backyard) as my last home, already full with all my family… everybody beleived in reincarnation, except for my grand fathers who were ” saints’ meaning they did not need to come back…. It was a familiar freindly last house. But the war came, we had to leave and my father died far from his country he asked to be cremated and I respected his will, and Irealised that it was not so warm, secure and freindly… I begun to see myself dying alone, far from home… I used to envy those who died at home, until I read your book. I found myself again and began to listen to myself, my heart my dreams… It was no longer cold and I was finally alive again… All this to tell you that since than I thought that maybe we live many lives in one…( reincarnation can be understood this way?) and funerals are a tradition that is different from a country to another .It was a shame to be cremated in my country. and in France, my father who was normally the person to hold thetradition in his country, decided to be cremated….. I like to think that I will be somwhere where my children will be able to respect my will to be cremated and thrown in my Lebanon… Otherwise, a will is important for the ones who are still here…. to give them a will to follow, is to give them the opportunity to show their love and respect after the body is gone.
Love you all
Donner un rituel a ceux qui survivent et qui sont la estune forme d’ amour c est comme dire aux enfants ‘c etait prevu, ce n est pas que je vous quitte, et Dieu s il me rappelle n est pas injuste, je pars et vous laisse le soin d accomplir telle ou telle volonte, et ainsi nous restons ensemble, autrement et vivez pleinement….’ la cremation serait mon choix avec les cendres eparpilles dans les forets et les vallees de Mon Liban… Mais je suis aux USA et mes enfants en France cela serait possible ici … Mais au Liban dans une communaute qui rejette ces rituels et au sein de communautes qui ne se definissent aujourd’hui que par les differences de rituel eriges en dogmes, auront ils le courage d etre differents/je ne sais pas, c est tellement pour les vivants les funerailles..
Je vous aime tous
Well, I’ve only just turned 26 so I am hoping that it will be some time before any one becomes concerned with the issue of what to do with my body when I am no longer using it! However, it is always welcome to be reminded of the importance of living life intensely and making good use of our constant companion - the angel of death.
I would like to think it is possible not to have an official funeral. It seems senseless for people to wait until you are dead and in a box before they dare to speak what is in their hearts and say how much they loved you. And of course, if they cannot find anything nice to say, then I would rather they told the truth than made up stories because it was expected of them.
I hope that when I die, people will understand that there is no reason to be sad - for I have loved every moment of my life and have no regrets. Even the mistakes and the hardest times have brought me wonderful lessons which have been blessing and an honour to receive. Life teaches us so much: humility, honour, respect, love. If we are lucky sorrow and fear will become our friends. The greatest pain has brought the most valuable treasures. We can never hope to know or understand, only to have more time to grow. The biggest challenge of life is to discover and appreciate the joy of every moment – to become one with this magic.
I would like people only to celebrate the miracle that is life and all the wonderful mysterious secrets that lie waiting to be discovered. Death is not a mournful ending; it is only a doorway to a different way of being. I wish to be cremated and for my ashes to be released on the wind in a place of wild beauty that has resonance with my heart. (Hopefully there will be somebody who loves me enough to climb a large mountain to do this!)
Blessings to any who read this, I pray that each moment of your time here be experienced with fresh enthusiasm as the beautiful and precious gift that it is.
I would like my ashes to be thrown in the sea…return to the water…home…..
“He came dressed in white
she realized it was time
for her to say goodbye
Yes,the angel came, it was her time..
his blow dressed her in orange sunlight,
like a sweet last kiss, a mother’s lap,
for this motherless child..
Mother Sea welcome her, she farewelled life… “
I honestly think that when i die, i wouldn’t care how my funeral went..
what i really care about, is how my life will be before that day comes when i will die.
My Aunt recently passes away, and all i could think about, was how peaceful she looked before she was buried.
I want to look back at my life, and not regret a single thing, not even the mistakes, which make me stronger..
Today i read something..
“Beginnings are usually hard, Endings are always sad, but what matters is what happens in between”
the things in between are the most important.
With Love,
Fita amarela
‘Quando eu morrer não quero choro nem vela
Quero uma fita amarela gravada com o nome dela
Se existe alma, se há outra encarnação
Eu queria que a mulata sapateasse no meu caixão
Não quero flores, nem coroa de espinho
Só quero choro de flauta, violão e cavaquinho
Estou contente consolado por saber
Que as morenas tão formosas a terra um dia vai comer
Não tenho herdeiros, não possuo um só vintém
Eu vivi devendo a todos mas não paguei nada a ninguém
Meus inimigos que hoje falam mal de mim
Vão dizer que nunca viram uma pessoa tão boa assim
Quero que o sol não visite o meu caixão
Para a minha pobre alma não morrer de insolação
A Brazilian song that I love, this guy tells the story of his care free approach to life and how he wished is funeral to be, no cries or candles just music, dance a yellow ribbon and sunshine on his grave for eternity.
It resonates with me because that’s how I see my funeral a great party only good friends, dance, music , poetry a celebration of a life, and in the last act the ashes turned into a diamond for a ring ,sounds good to me.
I do not fear death rather see it as an integral part of life ,don’t wish for it and hope for a long and fulfilled life, have so much still to learn and experience but when it arrives I would like to have a say about the last act on this life.
That’s how I think all funerals should be not somber affairs but celebrations of life, off course with exceptions for people that leave more pain then happiness behind.
♡
Milou
My Image of my funeral is that it would be a party.It would be a celebration of my life and not my death.
I am christian and I believe that there is an after life and those who live their lifes with love and honor and respect for themselves and for others will be in a beautiful place after their death in the prescence of the all loving Father. So death is a passing into another life, it is normal to be sad because we will physically miss the person who dies but we should be happy for that person because his work is done and he had moved on to another life. We should celebrate his achievements and contributions to the evolution of our species because I believe that every life leaves its mark on the universe and helps it to evolve one way or another.
Therfore I told my husband that if I pass on before him I would wish that my family would celebrate my life rather than mourn my death knowing that a spirit never dies and after death time does not exist so we will all meet again
I think as long as it is memorable ,meaningful and sacred to how the person” wishes” there funeral to go .I for one would like mine NOT !to be filled with chaos,confusion or fear ..disconnection people fear this stuff when in should be done in honor and devotion to the person with the same love and respect showed in life ..a vigil is an act of devotion -readings ,prayers ,chants are part of the rhythm of life .I would have mine maybe at my home ,where people would as a continuous procession of food ,flowers ,friends and family ,children playing and laughing while they all share the bond of grief togeather .I would have a flower wreath in my hair and my family would place my precious /special things with me and say goodbye while the candles burn while my soul would disengage over a few days. Blessings Tania
no prefrances ! whatever will be will be !
Well, I never thought to be cremated but I have to be…
I see my own funeral on the top of a mountain by sunset.
While my ashes are spread out into the sky the word “Love” has to be screamed so that you all receive love in the echo of (my) silence.
Then let the Champagne flow and feel life sparkling into your body.
Love
All Ways
Hildegarde
I plan to be cremated also! I love the ocean so I have asked to be thrown into waves :)
I would like coffee and krispy creme donuts served at my party!
Death is sweet!
“Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my Soul to keep.
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my Soul to take”….
This has been a childhood prayer that my father has taught me ever since I was a little kid. It brought comfort to me in times when I would be petrified to go to bed and sleep. Scared of the darkness. Scared of being alone. Scared of nightmares. I say the prayer…and everything will be alright just as my dad has promised.
This prayer still carries me through life, even now that I am an adult. I still pray it every night with the same CHILDLIKE faith, but a different perspective. “Now, I lay me down to sleep…” Sleep being the other side of life - the deeper one, DEATH. “I pray the Lord my soul to keep”. At the end of each day, I thank Him for guiding me through the day and keeping my soul. “And if I die before I wake…” I pray that I LIVE each day being ‘awake’ and alive, and not being ‘asleep’ in the presence of the living. Just going through the motions of everyday life. My greatest challenge everyday is to NOT die before I am ‘awake’ and have opened my eyes to life! and if I do, then …” I pray the Lord my Soul to take”.
Speaking of which I would want my funeral to be a celebration of my life..and not the remembrance of my death. There will be drinks…and laughter…and music…and dancing….My ashes will be mixed in colorful paints…and my children shall make a painting out of it…..!
Thank you for adding other colours to my life, Paolo!
czarina
I’ve thought about this many times too. Not that I expect (Death) to fetch me up soon -I hope not as I still have many dreams yet to be fulfilled.
I’d like to be cremated and my ashes should be divided and sent all over the world to be thrown there (I’ve a long list of places I’d love to visit). Of course this was also inspired by the story you wrote, about the lady whose ashes was scattered all over the world.
But if that’s not possible -or better, if I’ve visited those places before Death picks me up, then I’d like my ashes to be thrown into the sea, from the top of a mountain, and at my home’s backyard. And I shall be one with the water, air, and earth.
I completely agree with Walaa… life is far more important than death! I really don’t know why people are so interested in death, funerals and so on. I have seen and heard about people who plan their deaths, their funerals in minute details, what to wear, if that could really change anything after all, what kind of an impressive monument they should have and so on. Death is just a phase, we’ve been there many times before, why should we worry and make such a big fuss out of such an event…I really don’t understand.
It seems difficult to overcome death because people like to get attached to everything and find so hard to let go; nothing and no one belongs to us, after all, we go bare hands, like we have come on Mother Earth in the first place.
I really don’t want to think about my funeral and I don’t care about how it will be, for me this doesn’t matter very much; I prefer to do my best to lead a beautiful life and I am convinced that God will watch after and guard my soul when it is the right time.
We must understand that we can’t go all at the same time, when the body has done its job, when it is used enough, it’s time to depart, one by one. Why should we think about dying anyway? Does this make us more joyful or more evolved?
I believe that those who put their lives in God’s hands, are not really concerned about this aspect. It is not pleasant, that’s for sure, but it doesn’t make us any good to get depressed and think about dying… Instead we should be interested about living beautifully, full of Love and Light! :-)
Lots of affection and all the best in the whole world,
Carmen Larisa
I imagine my funeral being full of love, friends and family. The funerals I know are like family reunions or weddings. With plenty of food and time to catch up with loved ones. I would like the people who knew me to share stories and memories of my life with those dear ones I leave behind. I would like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered somewhere beautiful. I think it will be interesting for my family to go through my things and uncover parts of my person they may not have known or remembered.
Dearest Paulo and friends
Ironically enough, just as i read this passage, i got a call notifying me that a very close friend of mine had just lost her father. Like most funeral notices it just shakes me up inside. I’ve been to funerals where you would when you see the body- for all you could think of is how at peace and happy the person looks; and i’ve been to funerals where you could just not bare the sorrow of such a great loss. The truth is, the most i could want out of my funeral is that i look at peace, i want people to feel at peace when they pay their last respects, so that they will stop missing me, and start feeling my guidence and presence around them. I wish to be cremated, but i haven’t decided where i wish to scatter my ashes yet- i’m sure thogh that before i die, i will discover it. When it comes to death, i do not fear it, nor do i hate it. I acknowledge and i do see its beauty- but i have only two wishes right now, one is that i do not die before my parents, for i know what that would do to them (and that i fear), and two, i do not suffer the loss of a child. I have such a morbid feeling now, i wish to write so much more about this topic but i just can’t bring self to.
Thank you for being
Yajna
Querido Paulo,
Your following words are truth at it’s best:
“I will touch you, but you don’t know when. Therefore live life as intensely as you can.â€
I have been lost in my own thoughts at times and i find myself wondering that exact same question “How will my funeral be like?” “will people be sad and cry?”…
I don’t know exactly how i want my funeral to be like, maybe i want my ashes to be spread in the ocean in El Salvador or Brasil. Or maybe i want my ashes to be spread in the house that gave me life in El Salvador.
I won’t lie and say that i do not fear death but reading your words above make me acknowledge that each day is a miracle and it must be seized!
My grandmother recently passed away and i found myself not mourning her death but celebrating her life, the life that had allowed her to live, love, and laugh. Although her physical body was not present, her vibe and her soul will always live in those she loved!
All i hope is that in my funeral people smile because i have touched their lives and made them feel truly loved and cared about!
Muinto Obrigada!
Yenifer
Death…hmm.
For a long time I wanted to be.. next to my mother, maybe because I had so little of her.
She was always this endless desire…to be close to her, to touch her, to be loved by her…yes.
Still I have these feelings, and I probably will always have them, but they..fade away slowly.
The longer I live, the more open I become..
Be like a bird, like a butterfly, free…to be taken by the wind…be everywhere….wherever I wish to fly.
Be like a tiny particle of sand, of dust, of ash…
Sometimes I think of the sea, the desert, the woods, or endless steppes…somewhere at the end of the world…
the world I am so curious about..
haven’t make up my mind yet.
love
Agnieszka
Death is a journey. It takes no long to recover a brother, a friend. So I want my funeral to be celebrate as a goodbye, not an adieu.
And maybe cries are no good for the soul that has a travel to transmute.
That people celebrate by my side, when I’ll take the invisible plane.
All mines sing and dance, whereas the flames burn what I possessed, while smoke changes the horse into air.
Fun
I feel that funerals are not for the body, but for the people who want to farewell the soul. And keeping that in mind, I think the majority of the people who will miss me live in my home country (at least in this present moment), so therefore they shall bury me there, if it makes them feel better.
I’ve been to funerals in Finland, Australia and Ireland and I must say that the FInnish way is very serious and sad, whereas in the two other coutnries people rather celebrate the life of the passed soul. I’d really prefer the latter one. Everyone can join in and have a drink for the great things that happened during my life.
But basically, the people who’ll miss me can decide how they want to farewell me. My only wish would be playing ‘The Great Gig in the Sky’ by Pink Floyd sometime in the beginning of the funeral, that would be my farewell to the crowd.
Simple and happy
Hi,
I see my own funerals as the only chance to reunit all my family and friends back together again, I am so sad I can’t see that while living. Therfore I’m sure I’ll be there in a way to share so much Love, Win, Poems and Music!
C U
Love
Damien
Well, truthfully I’ve never thought about it - but I really am not concerned what happens after I die as I believe the spirit moves on instantly and all that is left is a shell.
I wouldn’t want my loved ones to mourn for too long. I want it to be a natural process of mourning, reminiscing and holding me in their heart and then moving on with their lives - loving and living again.
This reminds me in a way of my late aunty who used to always fret about the end of the world to her local Priest. One day he must have tired of hearing about it and he said to her “Vanna, when you die, that will be the end of the world for you”. We all laughed till we cried at that.
With a party, serving my favourite street food, even as the flames turn skin and bone to cinder. With laughter, and good music, and happy flowers.The ashes to be dispersed upon the winds, to go where they might.
I never thought about before this moment. I lost some persons of my family and some friends (ome of they with my age), but I don’t remember more about their funerals. I only remember the good moments that we lived together and I think that these moments are the most important for me.
And for that, and to say something about my funeral, I desiree that my best friends and the people who I love comes to say me “see you” with love and rememnering the good moments.
Kisses from Barcelona!
Carmen
‘Why should we think about dying anyway? Does this make us more joyful or more evolved?’
Of course it does. When i was growing up, i read a saying that i only seemed to understand later in life-Mitch Album said, “You only know how to live once you know how to die.” Strangely put, but perfectly correct. If death didn’t exist, if we did not have the certainity that we could die at any given moment in time, and this entire and its illusion would seize to exist, we would not live. We would take everything for granted, and persist and nothing. As crazy as it sounds, nothing shakes you up inside and makes you want to strive for everything you’ve dreamed of like a near death experience, or even the death of someone you know.
I must admit though, i agree with everything you have said- which you stated perfectly. I believe we should focus on living. :)
Lots of love
Yajna
I just wanted to put up one of my favourite poems-
Although it is slightly off topic..
Death Be Not Proud
by John Donne
(1572-1631)
——————————————————————————–
DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think’st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell’st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
I don’t care what my family decides to do with my body seeing as I will no longer be inhabiting it. My only hope is that I can spy down and see my family and loved ones…hopefully children, grandchildren & maybe even great grandchildren laughing and remembering happy and loving moments of which I’m sure I will help create once I start a family. I have learned from my grandparents that two people in love can create so much. I do not fear death as long as the love inside of me continues to go on.
I have given this thought over the years, as I think most people do. Anytime someone close to us dies it reminds us of our own mortality.
I would like my funeral to be a party. I want people to laugh, to dance, to drink and enjoy the life that they still have. I don’t want my funeral to be a mourning for my death, I would rather my friends and family gather and celebrate the life I led. Even if I were to die tomorrow, my life has been great. Filled with ups and downs, challenges, triumphs, failurs, all the things that make life worth living.
I would like to see those I leave behind laughing in telling old stories of our times together. Maybe making a toast with my favorite drink, and dancing to my favorite songs.
My last words would be “eat, drink and be merry, for we all die only once, and that is because we only live once. Enjoy that once to fullest, for I have”.
I have not given much thought to my actual funeral; one thing I have thought about is what would my legacy be? About three years ago, I got ill with a deadly flu virus and I was in bed for about two weeks. After this flu I really didn’t recovered. I started suffering from weird rashes, arthritis, pain, muscle pain, cognitive problems, sleep disorder, and ultimately depression. I went to a series of doctors, including some specialists and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me, at least there was nothing they could “test” for. All my blood tests, MRIs, X-rays, every time the tests came back negative. I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and as my doctor diagnosed me, she said we have a name for it, but we don’t really know what is it, what causes it, or how to cure it, but I can give you some pain medication and some sleeping pills. I appreciated her honesty and I asked; what about my depression? She said first let’s manage the pain and get you to sleep at least 8 hours, anyone that’s in constant pain and can’t sleep would be depressed. I started to look for alternative medicine, acupuncture, massage, chiropractics, but I was getting progressively worst and was falling deeper into depression. I was watching TV one day and someone was being interviewed about her mother, who had passed away, and she said her mother’s legacy was being the first one to get up and dance at a party; she always laughed the loudest, sang, told jokes and was the life of the party. I cried; that was a defining moment for me, and the darkest moment of my illness. I could deal with the pain, and everything that came with it, but I could not accept that I was becoming a different person, that the illness was turning me into someone else and I cried for my children. How would they remember me after my death? What will be my legacy? I still don’t think I will be dead for a long time, but I had to start to create new memories again, so my children and my grandchildren (which has not yet been born) will remember me for who I truly am and not for what the disease had made me. I said this was a defining moment because at this time I decided I was going to get better even though I didn’t have a plan, but I got busy finding a plan, and I got busy getting better. I’m happy to report that three years later I’m back! I entertain often, I sing, I dance, I laugh and I can think of my legacy and rejoice in this thought. As to my funeral, I don’t want one. I want to be buried, because I ‘m a Christian and I believe this is “the Christian way” and after I’m back to the ground where I came from, I want everybody to join together and have a party and celebrate my life, not my death. I want them to remember my life and the moments we shared, and talk about my legacy.
Dear Tara, Biedronka, and Agnieszka
in case you dont look the other message,
simply to tell you I love you
Thank You
Don’t know exactly way, but it made me sad when I saw your question Paulo.Why thinking about death when there are so many things to live. Why does it matter how will our funeral look like. Some of the greatest people died imperceptibly. What counts is how we lived.
I’ve never tought about it until now.The one thing that I wouldn’t like is to leave some things unsaid, and not to have the time and oportunity to say to all the people that I love that I love them.
Ljubav&Love&Amor
Tanja
New voice on this sie–thank you all for your insights and soulfulness. Enjoying this dialogue very much.
I served in the end of life care movement (mostly hospice) here in the US for 20 years after my mother’s early death (she was 58 and I was 23) so that I could better understand dying and death. After the honor of serving many patients and families I felt like I was solid enough in the depth of my connection to death–and to life–to leave the field. I now work in child advoccy (services for abused children) and am learning a new set of deep life lessons from the children and families we serve, and the staff I serve alongside.
My ideas about funerals and memorials have changed over the years. Knowing that this may change, a snapshot of where I sit around funerals and memorials is that they are for the living. The families who have no funerals or ways to commmemorate a life seem to grieve incompletely. Ritual and ceremony (they are different) are embedded in our psyches as cornerstones, buliding blocks, stakes-to-keep-our-tents-from-flying-away-in-big-windstorms. So, as much as I don’t want a fuss being made, I do know that it’s important to do something when we die that marks the spot where we’ve lived and grieved, loved and resisted. J
Jewish wisdom says that we’re not dead until we’re forgotten and that wisdom resonates in my soul, as I fear that the US culture is dis-eased by a voic of connection to our ancestors: human ones, rootedness of place, animal and tree ancestors.
A funny thing happen in the community where I live. It concerned a friend, Jack, who lives in Portland, Oregon (about 3 hours from Bend, Oregon). He apparently died and was resurrected all in one fell swoop. It’s an amusing story even without knowing the characters. Here’s the blog post ‘Jack’s Foiled (Im)mortality Plan’ on the site I host (Virtual Tea House): http://virtualteahouse.com/blogs/beth/archive/2008/03/19/jack-s-foiled-immortality-plan.aspx
We’re planning a surprise wake for Jack when he visits our community in April. It should be poignant and fun at the same time.
Thank you all for sharing yourselves so beautifully on this site.
Myrabeth (aka Beth)
Dear paulo, when I am dead I would like that my funeral would be as small as possible and that as few people as possible would have trouble with it.
Myrabeth
Hi, welcome
I’m by any means not into ‘one-up-manship’ BUT the resurrection I was witness to involved an actual registration of death for the name and home-address of said dead-person.
A miracle to me!
love
xxxx
My husband’s epitaph reads:
“and let to-day embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.” (kahlil Gibran in The prophet)
It’s beautiful as it celebrates past, present and future all at the same time.
g
x
Hace tiempo que he decidido la cremación y mis cenizas seran esparcidas en una montaña de Galicia.
“Dejar que los muertos entierren a los muertos” Jesus.
Dear Paulo,
After experiencing the loss of a family member a while ago, I remembered what you wrote here and it inspired me to write this.
I just thought I want to share it with you and everyone else here.
And to thank you for being an inspiration.
Love,
Margie