Fear is something difficult to overcome, often times I used to view it as a negative force, and I guess you could say I was afraid of fear. However, I have learned to view fear as a positive force, as well as a negative one.
To me, fear is a negative force on my life when it is preventing me from doing what I really want to do. There is always the chance that every time I get into a car, I might not make it to the destination alive, however if I let that fear of death control me, I would never be able to leave my house.
At the same time, fear can be something pushing you forward. If I fear car accidents, I can use that fear to try to become a better driver.
If I can turn my fears into something positive from something negative, then I can push myself forward towards achieving my goals.
Recently I had been afraid of bad things happening to me, things like having the acceptance to my top choice college revoked (I am a senior in high school) and when I am fearful of things before they happen, even if they don’t happen at all, I always feel pre-shock deep inside of myself, as if preparing for the worst allows my fears to overcome me, and change my actions or decisions because of fear. When I am afraid like that, it is impossible to enjoy life. I was telling myself, “oh it doesn’t matter that I’m having fun right now, because tomorrow I’m going to get a letter saying I can’t go to college and then my life is over.” life becomes so much less enjoyable that way, and since the likelihood of me getting that sort of letter is slim anyway, if that letter was coming, after I got it, I would probably be a little bit relieved, because I would be able to let go of that fear. But because I have decided to make fear a positive force in my life, I was able to let that fear go and accept that I was hurting myself more by fearing something unlikely. Instead, I choose to allow a fear of mine to let me do things like try harder in school so that the schools see that I am still trying. I also diminished the fear of mine by thinking about what would happen if I could not go to college. I believe that so much of our world is dependant on money and possessions; I might try to live without depending on those things. Maybe I could free myself from the trap of society’s will that is imposed upon me if I just let go. However, one day I hope to make a film that will change the world, and becoming a film major is the best way to start myself on a road that will lead me to getting what I truly want. If I let my fears get in the way, I know that I will probably not be able to move forward at all, let alone enjoy the time I have.
there is something in my blood… or my stomach…Mentally i enter in some space where i am safe while everything take its right place, and then i go on. The superior beings are the ones that take care of the situation, all kinds of them, god, Mary, the angels, my loved ones, those that are gone and those that are here, and other beings that i dont know. And certainly mother earth gives me the joy of living, the beautiful things. Music gives me the strenght and literature brings me heaven. Love.
I sort of face fears according to the situation. Crossing a very high rope bridge would bring out something different in me, compared to the fear I would have with expressing feelings. I would probably be able to handle the first one way better than the latter. I need courage. My fears have definitley made me a fool and an idiot at times.
I know its basically an illusion /a block to stop you from reaching your full potential so the best way is feel it yes ,but walk up to it and face it head on ,say it ,do it or whatever but I ask the universe to help me face it ,and God too..Blessings Tania
I look the worst possible scenario of what I am afraid of in the eye, believe that I am surrounded by guardian angels, and realize that “if God is for us, who can be against us?”
The fear of what it is, of what it could be and of what it will be. What is fear? A “force” (predisposition, feeling, etc.) that opposes one to assume a given identity*, namely an unknown one. But fear is not the only force in play, so most often we are able to overcome it using other motivations, sometimes even being able to conscientiously decide how to face it. But what is that of facing? It’s that reaction that one might have towards “that primitive force”.
It sounds like it would be nice to be able say that fear can always be faced with a smile, but I guess that’s the case only when believing that the recognition of fear (be it to run away from, to ignore it, or to go after it) will lead to something that we recognize as good.
Fear is a part of us and it’s present throughout life - it’s one of life’s great motivations (but not the only one). If we learn how to talk with fear (that part of us), if we are able to develop a trust relation with it, then maybe we can use it as a directing force, one that directs in a good way.
I used to run away from it over n over again, yet the fear came back over n over again too.
now, when I recgnized my fear, I try to just take it into me, by making my mind still. It feels like a storm running through my body, but a little later, a sense of peacefulness emerges and the fear is no longer fear, just a storm or like a ripple on the surface of the lake.
then I realize nothing can really harm me internally, but only the surface. my core being will not be harmed.
that’s the practice I’m doing now. and amazingly, I see y I got that feeing, and can see it from different aspects.
Fear makes us STOP and think, this is our safety net, and it is I believe, an absolutely necessary sense which helps us to develop, to grow….to “improve”. Love, Paul PS: Imagine if children had no fear at all? Mankind would not last long…
By refusing to believe that it is who I am and by insisting on the truth. Once I do that I enter a strong and centred space which allows me to move through it and beyond it.
Yo me he preguntado eso mismo casi cada dia, y ahora mismo lo que siento que, en mi caso en concreto, es que la única manera de enfrentar el miedo es dejarse llevar. Noto el miedo cuando intento tener todo bajo control. Noto que no hay miedo cuando me despreocupo y me dejo llevar haciendo lo que siento y pienso en la frase “Dios Proveerá”. Un frase que me viene en cualquier conflicto en el que me encuentre. Yo no entiendo las palabras “Dios Proveerá” como lo entendian mis padres cuando era pequeña e igual les faltaba dinero para mantener a cinco hijos. Lo entiendo como “me pongo en manos de Dios y Él lo arreglará”. Pero cuando no consigo pensar así, el miedo me invade y la tristeza llega con intensidad, hasta que toco fondo y vuelvo a pensar de forma positiva. Cuando consigo confiar en mi misma y mantengo la Fe a pesar de todo, siento que no hay miedo.
Para mí el miedo es un estado de alerta, lo peligroso suele ser el pánico que no nos deja pensar. Aún así si por lo que sea me asusto y me entra miedo ( dependiendo de la situación) pienso en mi Ángel de la Guarda y confío en él.
Si por el contrario es más tipo miedo-vergüenza o miedo escénico, hago tripas corazón y tiro hacia adelante. Y seguro, seguro que por muy mal que se pongan las cosas luego lo acabaré recordando como una aventura o una anécdota graciosa.
For me it depends on what it is that I´m afraid of, how I face fear.
I find a way to be calm in meditation and/or in nature. I find out if the fear is mine, if it´s affecting me. If I find that I am afraid and fear is in me I meditate and ask my self, life or the Divine what this fear is telling me. What is it telling me that I need to do. Then I find a way to be able to dare doing what it is I need to do. I might go thru similar steps with a teacher or friend if the fear is such that I need other´s help to overcome it.
I´m touched when I´m writing this. Fear has been a big teacher in my life. I´ve found that the more I dare use the love and courage I have in my heart, the more life opens and the more I´ve discovered fear wasn´t bigger than me after all, a part of me was deeper that whatever I was feeling and was able to transform it.
In a rebirthing session over 20 years ago, I experienced that I was paralized with fear. I was very, very scared. I did get support to keep breathing and to keep being present and aware, nonetheless. In time that seemed long, the fear, stiffness and pain in my body melted and I experienced from inside that my fear transformed into very much energy and into heat. I think this experience was the first that taught me that we´re made of energy. That fear is also an energy that can be transformed.Fear has taught me that love is the fabric of life. I do my best to remember to use my heart when I face fear.
In the past few days, I have been very afraid, and nervous, becuase I am about to take a step that will literally change my future..
I am facing this, by “thinking happy thoughts” as cliche as that might seem, but I believe if you focus on good thoughts, that is what will happen..
But still, fear sneaks into my heart..and apparently no happy thoughts can stop it..
So all there is to do, is get ready, and face my fear..
Mi manera de enfrentar el miedo, es con la curiosidad. Si algo me atemoriza, necesito saber que es, buscar la raíz y en esa misma medida responder ante la situación.
well, I need to refrase my self a little. Facing fear and not learning about not letting it stop me has taught me that love is the fabric of life. Fear is absence of light. One of my teachers says “It´s simple, just remember to turn your light on. Darkness vanishes in light, there is no thing, really to be afraid of.
I´m working on it.
I used to fight with my fears.For a long time my nightmare was crashing of airplane. No my favorite is skydiving, now i have over 200 of jumps. My friends used to say all we have to fear is us ourselves
I take deep breaths. I pray for strength, courage and guidance. And I tell myself whatever I am afraid of is probably not as bad as I am imagining it to be. I repeat,”This too shall pass.” And I try to lead my mind to thoughts of better times full of love.
Little fears are easy to overcome… a talk, a try-out and might cure it (fear of heights)
My Real Fear holds a part of me hidden in it. I couldn’t conquer it yet, but I can share my journey with it.
I ran away for years, only to find myself running into it.
I ignored it, only to realize it will not ignore me.
I bluffed, trying to scare it away, only to discover fear is immune to its own tactics.
I overloaded my days with other things, in hope I will forget about it, but strangely enough everything reminded me of it.
Until one day, tired of all the energy put into escaping it, I just crumbled in its face and let it consume me. It was the first time I faced it, and it was devastating. But it was also the first time fear had a face, a name and could be pointed. That’s when I started thinking that I might find a way to defeat it some day.
(An invisible enemy can haunt you forever. A visible one can only do it until the was is done.)
Next time I faced it, I knew what it can do to me, but I also knew I can survive, so I could pay attention to the weaknesses it strikes into me.
It took several times until I discovered what kind of sword I can fight with.
I do not know whether I will conquer it next time, or next time, all I know that every time I face it I get closer to becoming the kind of person that will conquer it.
I do what I have to do,
sometimes I’m more courageous,
sometimes I just try to be logic
(don’t go into an argument with
someone who is drunk or on drugs)
…fear is so limiting
and out of fear aggression is born.
I’m mostly thinking of fear between people now,
the fear which blocks us to make contacts,
build up trust and to interact.
Walaa _ all the best luck
….even every ‘normal’ moment can affect the future, aswell as those bigger, more obvious ones; with love
I think that the factual, actual realization of the paralizing power of fear made me get over it. - I acknowledged that giving in to fears, of any sort, was a choice I had made to not do what I deep down wanted to do…whatever that may be at the time.
as you said;
reason fears failure
therefore
i do not wait for reason to give voice - I go ahead, run with the intuition; passion; gut feeling…
I even remember the last time I was in fear - but I still did what I had to do without hanging around for a moment.
The only fear I have is that of doing another person an injustice or unfair affect of my decisions….but even so, I may be long in decision making, but if I believe my heart, then I stand by and follow it’s lead and am prepared to accept all consequences.
Even the fear of making a wrong decision is enough to make us make a wrong decision.
Yes, fear is a natural mechanism to survival
BUT
I believe that when our survival on this planet became somewhat ensured ie wild beasts, volcanic fire etc, then it ceases to some degree to be useful… I mean that children can pick up and adopt all sorts of irrational fears, from adults’ behaviour, and I think that natural child is more daring than any of these current societies would realise or allow.
Irrational fear may manifest because it is a powerful emotion which produces adrenalin, which is appreciated by the body/brain…..and because we are bereft of natural/rational fear, it is like a drug to us and a trigger can be invented in the mind for satisfaction.
In the lack of other strong emotions also, like intense joy, love or amazement….when our lives become dull, for example.
FEAR!!!hmm, you buy a beautiful and very expensive mentle piece and love it too much.so much that you cant keep your eye off it. its there in your room and with every single move you take care that it might not break.the fear arises in you out of intensity of your love. fear of loosing something you really love. soon it becomes an obsession. one day you cant bear the intensity any more. its taking too much of botheration to take care of that piece. and you TAKE THAT MENTLE PIECE IN YOUR OWN HANDS AND LET IT DROP AND BREAK ON THE FLOOR. a shattering sound, a dashing to ground and its all over. all botheration all fear, every thing. you cherish on the memories coz they are without the pain and fear now.sweet memories and finally you realise you have FREED YOURSELF FROM FEAR. a liberation.
love,
saba
To know
someone’s soul,
to know the feelings,
strange..
you feel it is simple
you hope it is,
believing in someone’s goodness,
pure heart,
will take you far, you think,
but it’s not right,
we are not all the same,
we make mistakes,
we do horrible things,
that is so.. sad
nothing and everything
are not the same,
to know it..
you have to stay away,
stay back,
from the awareness of freedom
and lies,
from love and understanding,
you step aside,
then you can see the truth,
it’s ugly,
but it’s the only way
of… fighting.
This is in response to the question of the week on Coehlo’s blog: How do you face fear?
I agree with Haxolither that fear is a positive as well as negative force. There are certain fears which don’t hold me back from anything, but only prevent me from harming myself. These are what I consider positive fears. These fears are ones like walking in the middle of the highway, my fear of touching a hot stove, my fear of driving drunk, etc.
On the other hand, fear can act as a negative force when it comes between someone and their desires. I think these are the fears most people are referring to on this blog. Judging from the other comments, it appears that most people here have expelled this form of fear from their life, and I wish I could say the same. Sadly I can’t; I often find myself a slave to unnecessary fears. I recognize the fact that it’s unnecessary, however I continue to let it control me. I often put too much stock into what other people think of me. I have a fear of not being liked, a fear of self, which I’m sure a lot of people share. I hold back or won’t open up to people due to this fear. I also often don’t do what I want to do out of a fear of disappointing other people. For example, last summer my mom was getting stressed out with work, and wanted someone to help her in the path lab. Part of her job doesn’t involve that much training, because it’s just cutting up and labeling specimens. She begged me to come in and fill in this job, so I did. This job was as boring as it sounds, and I spent most my time thinking about how badly I wanted to be somewhere else. I’ve learned two things from this experience. That a) formaldehyde is a horrible smell, and b) don’t always try to please others. Another one of my biggest fears is losing what I have in order to gain something else or bring something to the next level. I agree with what Coelho said in The Alchemist that everything has its price, and sometime I don’t want to pay that price. I believe in the natural balance of the world, and for everything thing lost, there is something else gained. Newton’s Third Law, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, applies to a lot more than just physical forces, but in the forces at play which can’t be calculated. (haha..I feel like a loser for saying that, but I do believe that.) College is my next big change, which will force me to lose much of what I have now: my family, my dog, my friends, my home, Berwick. I fear that I won’t like the trade-off between what I will have to lose, for what I will gain. But I also know that it’s something I have to do so my life doesn’t stay static. Perhaps my biggest fear is change, fear that when the balance is disturbed I won’t like the outcomes, and will want to return to how it once was.
Of late, I have come up against fear through the loss of my Mum. Her death has meant that I am facing the fears associated with missing her, needing her, coping without her. And also my loss brings up the biggest fear of being able to live my life fully. I don’t want a half-life, so I want to make sure fear does not stand in my way of being all that I can. These words have sparked in me the truest victory over fear in my life:
“According to your faith, be it unto you.” Matthew 9:29.
In other words, I believe that I am well, that I am strong, that God has a plan for my life that is good and whole, and through this faith, the fear recedes in the background. What I have faith in, is what eventuates.
We all face small and large fears dailly. I have spent the last few years trying to overcome each fear by moving through it… First I avoid it, then I try to distance myself from it to get a bigger picture or I try to put it in perspective by talking with others, reading, going inside myself and giving myself a stern lecture :) And always I go to God and the angels and ask for help in overcoming myself. I try to get out of my own way. I brace myself and move through the fear and as I do, each little fear dissolves and I get a little stronger, more confident each day. I look back to six months ago, and I am a totally different and new person, and that is very good :) Life is an adventure to be enjoyed thoroughly through our fears, loves, fun times and always there is a lesson (if we only have eyes to see).
faith words: words, can be a prayer heard when I was a child or dreams of what can be tomorrow when the light is back , and always by listening to others, by loving them by giving them time, love and care. only love is stronger than fear
In order to answer this question, I must sum it up by simply stating: right now, I don’t face fear. Throughout my recent study of World Literature and Humanities for school, I have had more chances to look inside myself than ever before. After doing so, I would say that fear is one huge element that encompasses many issues I face. I fear any change that is permanent, I have a fear of being disliked, or people not understanding the person I truly am or am trying to become, a fear of what I will do with my life, how I will get it (pretty much a fear of the future in general), and also a huge fear of death, just to name a few.
I know that part of facing fears is acknowledging how they got there in the first place. This is the process I am currently going through, and know I will continue for a while. Part of the problem is that I don’t know why I fear; I’ve always accepted that I just do. These fears that have no reason for existence sometime consume me, and I allow them to manifest in parts of my life that I don’t fear. Sadly, it’s not hard to say that fear has been the groundwork for my path in life, a path that also causes me to settle. In school I’m afraid that I’m just not smart enough, so I settle for not trying hard so I can have something to blame it on. I settle for not speaking my mind at times, or acting in a way that I don’t want to present myself, because I’m afraid of taking risks and being judged or disliked for how I want to act. I’m scared of a change in my life that’s permanent, and that permanent change being a bad one, but I settle for my preoccupation with this unknown. I also get worked up by fearing little things; I fear that this writing is bad, so it takes me too long because I overanalyze everything, but I eventually settle for the final product which I all too often see as not impressive enough.
I understand that fear is an instinctual part of being human, and I’m not trying to eliminate the fear anything in my life, because that’s not possible. One way I will overcome big fears though, so they don’t run my life, is by living in the present. I think my tendency to live in the past or future is the root of many of my fears.
I know death is guaranteed, but life is not; my own life is what I make of it, and it won’t be successfully created without me facing fear. Right now in my life, I need to take the biggest steps forward, and resist taking even more steps back. During this time, I’m slowly learning about myself, and fear unfortunately comes with that. In my Humanities class, we discussed the differences between wisdom and knowledge, and in a previous paper I wrote about how it relates to me. I know that I’m gaining more and more knowledge with the passing days, but I’m far from possessing wisdom. I will be wise when I accept, instead of fear, the results of my newfound beliefs and knowledge. This is when I accept the fact that I will go nowhere after I die, because that coincides with my belief that there is no god. This is when I stop apologizing for who I’m willfully becoming because I fear that this new person is being judged. It’s also when I stop agonizing over the possibility that some change may occur in my life that will have a permanent impact, because that change is not a part of the present state that I ignore by living in the future.
I believe that I can only face my fears when I possess wisdom, and also that I will become wise as a result of facing my biggest fears. This seemingly makes no sense, but maybe it’s possible that there is no arrow pointing one to the other, and they work together in some sort of cycle which I’m unable to grasp until my journey is complete.
One of my favorite quotes so far in The Alchemist (which I’m currently reading) speaks of strains caused by people’s fears. When Santiago’s heart is speaking to him it says, “People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.” This couldn’t be more related to me, and I can say I’ve experienced every one of these examples. I realize that when I finally face my fears, my heart will no longer suffer. Not just that, but it will also be the guiding force in my life, instead of fear. I want to reach the point where the voice from my heart is heard above the drones caused by fears from my mind, as well as everyone else around me.
Well, I have a great fear of being on the stage - and as I used to love dancing and singing it was suggested that I try facing my fear by just doing it. Getting up and singing. Well, it didn’t work. I went through the embarrasment of my knees physically knocking (which makes me laugh now when I think about it) and thankfully the video man just filmed my face. I had to take a Vallium which for someone who never takes any form of tablet was probably a bit strong but it didn’t work in the least.
I think sometimes, there are some fears that whether you like it or not, you can’t seem to overcome.
Fear can only be overcomed by encountering it…Just stare in the eyes of fear and liberate yourself from that retarding force that keeps you from moving forward..
AVC - my goodness you appear to know me….;-) but not quite enough….because I am not afraid of death at all. I believe that death could be a blessing and not necessarily something to fear? My only fear in this context would be, not having fulfilled my duties here on earth, when destiny strikes. Perhaps some need more lives in order to reach full maturity?
Thank you for your response AVC, Love, Paul
There is instinctual fear, which helps prevent us from harming ourselves, and there is irrational fear, which prevents us from experiencing Life!
I appreciate the former, and I acknowledge the latter, but I strive to learn from it and move on, rather than allowing it to restrict me.
Blessed Be
)o(
i ve read all the previous responses the last two days..but something kept me from replying..and i think I can relate to many of you friends..Mostly to those that Anlao said - the invisible fear that is always there and haunts you in a way - and to those that aterg said - when fear is the negative force to move forward and pursue your dreams…there is nothing worse from this feeling inside that holds you back and you feel helpless, you want to help yourself to rich up the surface but you let yourself drowning, in your fears, your thoughts, and you remain under the surface..
And now i realise that it’s all in my mind..every obstacle..i was the one that put it there, or let it keep existing..afraid to live…yes i think that is the case..afraid to live..maybe this is synonym to afraid to love..myself…because in my family you have to have some standards to be loved and follow rules…anyway..
i cant understand how did i let this happen..afraid to live..?being afraid to live is denying this gift of life..and that brings me so many tears..i ve lost so so many days, years…today like iwaas holding the glass of water in my hands, it slipped somehow..(subconsciously perhaps i did it..) and this view of the shattered piecies-that scattered everywhere in the room- of this so good-looking blue glass of water(only on the outside) was so deliberating…like a spell was broken…
I still havent picked up the glasses…i feel compelled looking at the sight..
Fear for me is synonym to Death..it can let you die inside…and now all i wish is God give me time before i die to fix all this..to clean up this mess in my life..
It seems to me that you are already well on your way, and that you have identified some very important keys to opening some doors that may still appear closed to you.
And, as far as I am concerned, your style of writing is excellent!
I read all the answers above and appreciated the fact that I found so many good ideas, with which I completely agree.
Fear is not necessarily what stops us from taking action, but the fact that we think that it cannot be overcome; we don’t understand how to do that, but often, when confronting a certain situation, we don’t ask “how” anymore, just go beyond it, without thinking, analysing anything.
And there is another thing: when we try to overcome some anxieties, if we fail one time, we have the tendency to give up, to believe that we are not capable of more, to impose some artificial limits in our brains. But the courage is in our hearts and our hearts try as many times as necessary because they know and feel that victory is possible! :-)
For me, prayers and Sahaja Yoga meditation sessions represent a great solution and I thank God from all my heart that all my prayers are answered… I wish I could understand the meanings of the answers all the time, very clearly, without the need to interpret them in my mind which can be so dellusive.
I have always believed, believe and will believe in the Power of Good, Light, Love with all my heart! :-) I am absolutely sure that good has infinite powers and when identifying with its forces, fear seems so helpless!
My worries are no longer for my person, as I choose to let my life in the hands of God, and I am convinced that the all pervading Power of God’s Love rules over everything, including my existence, but for the others, for those who don’t believe, don’t know and don’t feel God’s soothing presence in their souls and minds… And here comes the prayer and meditation, and the conviction that a good attitude can help a lot in the world, even when we are not really aware of it.
These days a thing really strikes me more than before as it became more evident tahn ever: how come in general people pray, when they pray, just for their own benefit and at most for their family only? I guess that people don’t fully realize the power of prayers for the entire collectivity of the world…
Instead of wasting time with hating, being afraid or angry, we should pray and meditate, wishing better conditions for the whole world, for the entire humanity to be more aware and enlightened, even for those who are wrong, maybe they will find the right path eventually… So, we could avoid the fear of thinking only for our immediate benefit, we can defeat our Egos by sharing our souls for the growth of all! :-)
Lots of hugs and may God bless the whole world always! :-)
Affectionately,
Carmen Larisa
P.S. How come, dear Paulo, you ask but you never tell us your answer? If I remember correctly, you said you would or could, when wanting to change the “face” of the blog… It would make the whole concept more interesting and dynamic; of course if you have time and desire…just a suggestion. :-)
I think that my problem, at the moment,is that I don’t ‘face’ fear. I allow it to consume me at times.
My dear wise father, who went onwards many years ago, used to say, ‘If you have a problem, decide what is the worst that can happen, decide what you are going to do about it and then forget about it.’
This works for me with practical difficulties/fears but emotional fear and concerns about others are my greatest challenge.
I most often seem to be operating on two levels: one in which I cannot face my fears and other which tells me ‘There is nothing to fear - ever, you are all absolutely safe.’
If I could find the key to stay in the second all the time, I would live the life I am supposed to be here for.
I am halfway through your new book, Paulo, and it seems to me that Athena is in a similar place in her search. She is aware that a giving up of self and trust in the universe/God/love is what is required but is still controlled by fears. I am looking forward to finding out what she discovers.
By Praying to God and facing all the fears strongly with an open mind and ready to take the challenge … because if i will runaway it will appear again and again so better to be the one who make the first step than waiting and watching that fears destroying me each minute ..
My father always tells me “You are allowed to feel FEAR, but cut down on the times that you let fear get the better of you”. I face my fear head on. It’s the only way that you become free of them. If you run away from them, or let them control you, you can never move away from them…
I find, the first step is always the hardest part. But knowing that I hurdled that first step to face my fear, knowing that I don’t cower, is for me fuel to encourage me forward. And then I find out…whatever happens..because I made that first step….I feel proud of myself. And the rest..is not so bad.
I just let myself feel the fear for some seconds. I imagine the worst thing that could happen, and they I remind myself that I’m prepared to handle it.
There are different types of fear. Rational fear serves to protect us. Fear could be a warning sign and a stop break so you won’t put yourself into unnecessary danger. We also fear change, entering into the unknown. In that case I face fear with hope and a prayer. I pray that this new situation is an opportunity for learning and personal growth. I pray to God for guidance. I ask specific questions in my conversations with God (that’s what prayer really is) and if I’m patient and I’m able to stay aware I always get the answer. Rather than resist I surrender to God’s will. Then there is fear that stems out of our own insecurities. The best way to overcome this type of fear is by replacing “fear and doubt” with “love and trust”. Trust that the Universe is presenting you with this challenge for some particular reason, usually facing your fears will lead to personal growth. Trust in yourself that you will be able to face the challenges and overcome the difficulties and that even if the situation causes you pain, you will come out of it alright, and sometimes even better.
With faith in myself and God. At those moments I’m thinking that God is with me, and that He won’t let something bad happen to me, something that I wouldn’t be able to handle or to learn from.
I try to think positively. And I think about the ones I love. It gives me strenght, always. Love
Tanja
I used to think that I could not leave my partner. I felt that I was trapped and I used to wish he was dead. The fear was that the children would go astray. That they should not be raised without a farther. That I would have no where to live and no income. Then one day I realised that Infact it didn’t matter. The truth was that I could just leave. Take the children with me and that what ever came to us we would deal with it. Ever since I have realised this,my relationship with my partner has changed and I now feel able to deal with every situation that comes to me.
“My favorite definition of fearlessness is this: the ability to remain soft and open, even under very difficult circumstances. Most often, fear causes us to shut down to our own and others’ humanity. We just want to get away, but the quickest way out is to stay. If you can slow down a bit, you can see that fear rises, abides and dissolves on its own. Allowing this process is the mark of the spiritual warrior. The coward turns attention toward fighting fear; the warrior accommodates it”. ~~Oprah~~
This is something i remind myself of to think about and do when fear comes knocking at my door.
Some days before this question was posted, my child stood at the bottom of the stairs, requesting me to catch a spider the size of my thumb-nail.
I assured her; If she come up past the spider, I would then catch it and put it out.
Of course, she began with rational, natural hesitance; which soon, after too much time, ended in near hysteria. But she eventually ran up the stairs…straight to bed - which wasn’t where she was intending to go originally, and then began crying.
I said; Why cry now, when at the bottom of the stairs you wanted to cry? You should feel good now - you did it.!
I didn’t force her to; I just gave more time to waiting than she would to resisting; she was quite composed up till then.
I pointed out that there are many times in a person’s life when what we fear must not stop us doing what we wanted to do…..then I left her for ten minutes, when she came downstairs again.
I felt like a bitch - she may have thought so too - but she wouldn’t dream of saying so; and she’s bright enough to know that one day, she’ll see the true point of the exercise.
I’m just wondering what will happen when the next spider turns up……
Love to all
xxxx
How I have faced fear in the past is that I run and I mean run like hell. It looks like a variety of drama scenes that I create to distract myself from what is the cause.However, what I am learning is how to sit, sit, and sit some more with the feelings of fear and my desire to run like hell. It has been truly a healing process in many aspects of my life.
I Pray ..
as i feel that Prayer is the most powerful instrument to counter fear…also it gives Hope for tomorrow..
Praying for Peace and Hope for everyone.
Ranjana
There are different types of fear and I act according to the situation. But i’ll describe two situations that I recall most commonly facing. Great question!
Scenario 1: Fear of failure.
This might be the most common fear I have, it guides the way I act and the words I use in public situations. Usually the fear just appears as faster heart beat, blushing and forgetting the vocabluarity… and I’ll probably appear as a kinda ackward person, I guess, but I’m pretty used to it so I just swallow it the way it comes.
But when facing a big challenge that I’m terrified of, I write my anxiety down. I write each word that describes the situation and my feelings on paper and the more I write, the less I seem to have stuff to write about. And evenmore, when I read the text, I notice there’s nothing there that has not faced humankind before and which is not part of life, and I meditate/pray that whatever happens, happens because it is for the best. I breathe in very deeply and as I do that I seem to be filled with confidence, love and peace.
And, honestly, things generally turn into much better than I had even dreamed of!
Scenario 2.
I’m faced with a sudden situation, that makes my heart jump into my mouth, which most commonly would happen on a motorbike.
Solution: I seem to stop thinking, and it’s as if something took control over me, and moved my muscles the best way possible in order to solve the situation, with as little harm as possibe. Next thing I know, I’m possibly shaking a bit, totally amazed by what happened and how I didn’t hurt myself (at least not seriously), and I ride a bit slower for a while until I’m back to normal. My dad always made sure that when I fell with my brother’s motocross bike, I shouldn’t go home before I’ve gone back on track first. Otherwise I might get trauma and not want to go back at all anymore.
i think the best way to face your fear is to take small steps……..it always works for me in every situation. Although in cases that need many small steps I tend to get overwhelmed by the road lying ahead of me.
Fear is a powerful emotion which can be overwhelming if left alone, avoided and unacknowledged.
I speak to fear when he appears by my side, find out why it has come before it becomes too stong and uncontrollable.
Everyone at some point tries to ignore their fears but it is better to understand why he has come and how you should move on with his help.
Thank you very much for your comments and compliments. I’m new to this blogging (it was part of an English assignment), so I was nervous about posting among all the regulars, but it makes me happy that at least someone enjoyed it!
I also want to say that I really appreciated your comment to Paul earlier, about how moving in to adulthood involves getting rid of your fears. I liked it mainly because as an 18 year old, I’m torn between wanting to stay a child and the realization that I need to truly become an adult very soon, so thanks for that!
Fear is a bad counsellor.In critical situations
i don’t take the right decisions.I cann’t think
clear, it is impossible to find a solution.
My heart is beating like crazy.
I think it is created by my illusion that it
will be going wrong.It happen on new situations.
I should stay calme and evaluate the problem
without panicing
Fear is something that most of us learned as we grew. As infants we did not know what it was like to fear. The only emotions we felt was love, comfort, warmth from our parents. For those who were abandoned, they must have felt hungry…but still unaware. As we grew we became afraid our parents would leave us, afraid of our teachers and their big fat rulers, afraid when we saw the police.I believe alot of this fear stems from authoritative figures who teach us to be afraid of authority…the ultimate authority God and death.
The Media is the number one vessel that has spread fear to the masses..it is an epidemic.
I have so much to be afraid of cause I am overly educated about every virus, terrorist attack, mass shooting, etc. But I wouldn’t not want to be educated about those things.
So now I must live with the fear, but not let it control me.
I believe in God and I know that everything in life, in the world, in the universe or is done by God, or is allowed by Him. Knowing too that God will never do or allow something bad for me, for us, it means that the cause of the fear is something good for me, that I can’t understand in this moment. Everything is in our way to see the things. Lucii Anae Senecae wrote about 2000 years ago about one’s problems that the legs of the mountain are covered by mug, hurted by wild winds and blind by fog; but far over the fog, the wind and the mug his white head acclaims every m
Badly..
but…I hope, I pray..that love won’t fool me, won’t hurt me, because it come from God.
love
Agnieszka
Hou!
Fear is something difficult to overcome, often times I used to view it as a negative force, and I guess you could say I was afraid of fear. However, I have learned to view fear as a positive force, as well as a negative one.
To me, fear is a negative force on my life when it is preventing me from doing what I really want to do. There is always the chance that every time I get into a car, I might not make it to the destination alive, however if I let that fear of death control me, I would never be able to leave my house.
At the same time, fear can be something pushing you forward. If I fear car accidents, I can use that fear to try to become a better driver.
If I can turn my fears into something positive from something negative, then I can push myself forward towards achieving my goals.
Recently I had been afraid of bad things happening to me, things like having the acceptance to my top choice college revoked (I am a senior in high school) and when I am fearful of things before they happen, even if they don’t happen at all, I always feel pre-shock deep inside of myself, as if preparing for the worst allows my fears to overcome me, and change my actions or decisions because of fear. When I am afraid like that, it is impossible to enjoy life. I was telling myself, “oh it doesn’t matter that I’m having fun right now, because tomorrow I’m going to get a letter saying I can’t go to college and then my life is over.” life becomes so much less enjoyable that way, and since the likelihood of me getting that sort of letter is slim anyway, if that letter was coming, after I got it, I would probably be a little bit relieved, because I would be able to let go of that fear. But because I have decided to make fear a positive force in my life, I was able to let that fear go and accept that I was hurting myself more by fearing something unlikely. Instead, I choose to allow a fear of mine to let me do things like try harder in school so that the schools see that I am still trying. I also diminished the fear of mine by thinking about what would happen if I could not go to college. I believe that so much of our world is dependant on money and possessions; I might try to live without depending on those things. Maybe I could free myself from the trap of society’s will that is imposed upon me if I just let go. However, one day I hope to make a film that will change the world, and becoming a film major is the best way to start myself on a road that will lead me to getting what I truly want. If I let my fears get in the way, I know that I will probably not be able to move forward at all, let alone enjoy the time I have.
there is something in my blood… or my stomach…Mentally i enter in some space where i am safe while everything take its right place, and then i go on. The superior beings are the ones that take care of the situation, all kinds of them, god, Mary, the angels, my loved ones, those that are gone and those that are here, and other beings that i dont know. And certainly mother earth gives me the joy of living, the beautiful things. Music gives me the strenght and literature brings me heaven. Love.
I sort of face fears according to the situation. Crossing a very high rope bridge would bring out something different in me, compared to the fear I would have with expressing feelings. I would probably be able to handle the first one way better than the latter. I need courage. My fears have definitley made me a fool and an idiot at times.
I know its basically an illusion /a block to stop you from reaching your full potential so the best way is feel it yes ,but walk up to it and face it head on ,say it ,do it or whatever but I ask the universe to help me face it ,and God too..Blessings Tania
I look the worst possible scenario of what I am afraid of in the eye, believe that I am surrounded by guardian angels, and realize that “if God is for us, who can be against us?”
The fear of what it is, of what it could be and of what it will be. What is fear? A “force” (predisposition, feeling, etc.) that opposes one to assume a given identity*, namely an unknown one. But fear is not the only force in play, so most often we are able to overcome it using other motivations, sometimes even being able to conscientiously decide how to face it. But what is that of facing? It’s that reaction that one might have towards “that primitive force”.
It sounds like it would be nice to be able say that fear can always be faced with a smile, but I guess that’s the case only when believing that the recognition of fear (be it to run away from, to ignore it, or to go after it) will lead to something that we recognize as good.
Fear is a part of us and it’s present throughout life - it’s one of life’s great motivations (but not the only one). If we learn how to talk with fear (that part of us), if we are able to develop a trust relation with it, then maybe we can use it as a directing force, one that directs in a good way.
Thanks for the question.
:)
I used to run away from it over n over again, yet the fear came back over n over again too.
now, when I recgnized my fear, I try to just take it into me, by making my mind still. It feels like a storm running through my body, but a little later, a sense of peacefulness emerges and the fear is no longer fear, just a storm or like a ripple on the surface of the lake.
then I realize nothing can really harm me internally, but only the surface. my core being will not be harmed.
that’s the practice I’m doing now. and amazingly, I see y I got that feeing, and can see it from different aspects.
that’s my view, dear paulo.
love, fusae
Fear makes us STOP and think, this is our safety net, and it is I believe, an absolutely necessary sense which helps us to develop, to grow….to “improve”. Love, Paul PS: Imagine if children had no fear at all? Mankind would not last long…
By refusing to believe that it is who I am and by insisting on the truth. Once I do that I enter a strong and centred space which allows me to move through it and beyond it.
Rebecca
Yo me he preguntado eso mismo casi cada dia, y ahora mismo lo que siento que, en mi caso en concreto, es que la única manera de enfrentar el miedo es dejarse llevar. Noto el miedo cuando intento tener todo bajo control. Noto que no hay miedo cuando me despreocupo y me dejo llevar haciendo lo que siento y pienso en la frase “Dios Proveerá”. Un frase que me viene en cualquier conflicto en el que me encuentre. Yo no entiendo las palabras “Dios Proveerá” como lo entendian mis padres cuando era pequeña e igual les faltaba dinero para mantener a cinco hijos. Lo entiendo como “me pongo en manos de Dios y Él lo arreglará”. Pero cuando no consigo pensar así, el miedo me invade y la tristeza llega con intensidad, hasta que toco fondo y vuelvo a pensar de forma positiva. Cuando consigo confiar en mi misma y mantengo la Fe a pesar de todo, siento que no hay miedo.
Paul from Austria,
As children we need fear, I agree, and many of us remain children for very long.
But evolving into full adulthood involves ridding yourself from one fear after another.
Ultimately, we must face and defeat the worst of them all.
The fear of death.
Telling the fear that there is no fear - except one, you know which
Para mí el miedo es un estado de alerta, lo peligroso suele ser el pánico que no nos deja pensar. Aún así si por lo que sea me asusto y me entra miedo ( dependiendo de la situación) pienso en mi Ángel de la Guarda y confío en él.
Si por el contrario es más tipo miedo-vergüenza o miedo escénico, hago tripas corazón y tiro hacia adelante. Y seguro, seguro que por muy mal que se pongan las cosas luego lo acabaré recordando como una aventura o una anécdota graciosa.
Besos desde Barcelona
Dear Paolo,
For me it depends on what it is that I´m afraid of, how I face fear.
I find a way to be calm in meditation and/or in nature. I find out if the fear is mine, if it´s affecting me. If I find that I am afraid and fear is in me I meditate and ask my self, life or the Divine what this fear is telling me. What is it telling me that I need to do. Then I find a way to be able to dare doing what it is I need to do. I might go thru similar steps with a teacher or friend if the fear is such that I need other´s help to overcome it.
I´m touched when I´m writing this. Fear has been a big teacher in my life. I´ve found that the more I dare use the love and courage I have in my heart, the more life opens and the more I´ve discovered fear wasn´t bigger than me after all, a part of me was deeper that whatever I was feeling and was able to transform it.
In a rebirthing session over 20 years ago, I experienced that I was paralized with fear. I was very, very scared. I did get support to keep breathing and to keep being present and aware, nonetheless. In time that seemed long, the fear, stiffness and pain in my body melted and I experienced from inside that my fear transformed into very much energy and into heat. I think this experience was the first that taught me that we´re made of energy. That fear is also an energy that can be transformed.Fear has taught me that love is the fabric of life. I do my best to remember to use my heart when I face fear.
Sibila Maria India
By remembering another quote from one of my books,”Death. This Certainty. What I am not certain about is Life.”
This reflection is the uncertainty of life creates fear and if we already understand Life is uncertain than how does it manifest as fear?
Kindest,
Michael Pokocky
I like the advice in the Warrior of the Light book that says something like “Use fear as an engine, not a break”.
In the past few days, I have been very afraid, and nervous, becuase I am about to take a step that will literally change my future..
I am facing this, by “thinking happy thoughts” as cliche as that might seem, but I believe if you focus on good thoughts, that is what will happen..
But still, fear sneaks into my heart..and apparently no happy thoughts can stop it..
So all there is to do, is get ready, and face my fear..
Wish me luck :)
Love,
Walaa
Mi manera de enfrentar el miedo, es con la curiosidad. Si algo me atemoriza, necesito saber que es, buscar la raíz y en esa misma medida responder ante la situación.
Let’s face fear as a friend and share love in the embrace…which gives the warmth and understanding to overcome every obstacle by accepting who we are.
Love
All Ways
Hildegarde
well, I need to refrase my self a little. Facing fear and not learning about not letting it stop me has taught me that love is the fabric of life. Fear is absence of light. One of my teachers says “It´s simple, just remember to turn your light on. Darkness vanishes in light, there is no thing, really to be afraid of.
I´m working on it.
I used to fight with my fears.For a long time my nightmare was crashing of airplane. No my favorite is skydiving, now i have over 200 of jumps. My friends used to say all we have to fear is us ourselves
What is “FEAR” ???
‘Hi! Nice to meet you. Stay behind me and… I will do it [what I fear]!’
Sometimes it’s difficult but I usually try to make friends with my fears and make the fear to help me to overcome difficulties.
There are seldom times when I just say: ‘Go away, my fear, I don’t like you.’
I face fear quite rarely. But I like to face it.
ok!!
ummmmmmm…..
I just analyze it, use it and then throw it away!!.. most of the times!!
…and sometimes i hide under the bed!!
just kidding!!!!… there’s not enough place for me under my bed!!.. just can’t hide there!!
To avoid it paralysing me i simply face fear with faith
I take deep breaths. I pray for strength, courage and guidance. And I tell myself whatever I am afraid of is probably not as bad as I am imagining it to be. I repeat,”This too shall pass.” And I try to lead my mind to thoughts of better times full of love.
Little fears are easy to overcome… a talk, a try-out and might cure it (fear of heights)
My Real Fear holds a part of me hidden in it. I couldn’t conquer it yet, but I can share my journey with it.
I ran away for years, only to find myself running into it.
I ignored it, only to realize it will not ignore me.
I bluffed, trying to scare it away, only to discover fear is immune to its own tactics.
I overloaded my days with other things, in hope I will forget about it, but strangely enough everything reminded me of it.
Until one day, tired of all the energy put into escaping it, I just crumbled in its face and let it consume me. It was the first time I faced it, and it was devastating. But it was also the first time fear had a face, a name and could be pointed. That’s when I started thinking that I might find a way to defeat it some day.
(An invisible enemy can haunt you forever. A visible one can only do it until the was is done.)
Next time I faced it, I knew what it can do to me, but I also knew I can survive, so I could pay attention to the weaknesses it strikes into me.
It took several times until I discovered what kind of sword I can fight with.
I do not know whether I will conquer it next time, or next time, all I know that every time I face it I get closer to becoming the kind of person that will conquer it.
With a trembling heart…
I do what I have to do,
sometimes I’m more courageous,
sometimes I just try to be logic
(don’t go into an argument with
someone who is drunk or on drugs)
…fear is so limiting
and out of fear aggression is born.
I’m mostly thinking of fear between people now,
the fear which blocks us to make contacts,
build up trust and to interact.
Walaa _ all the best luck
….even every ‘normal’ moment can affect the future, aswell as those bigger, more obvious ones; with love
I think that the factual, actual realization of the paralizing power of fear made me get over it. - I acknowledged that giving in to fears, of any sort, was a choice I had made to not do what I deep down wanted to do…whatever that may be at the time.
as you said;
reason fears failure
therefore
i do not wait for reason to give voice - I go ahead, run with the intuition; passion; gut feeling…
I even remember the last time I was in fear - but I still did what I had to do without hanging around for a moment.
The only fear I have is that of doing another person an injustice or unfair affect of my decisions….but even so, I may be long in decision making, but if I believe my heart, then I stand by and follow it’s lead and am prepared to accept all consequences.
Even the fear of making a wrong decision is enough to make us make a wrong decision.
Yes, fear is a natural mechanism to survival
BUT
I believe that when our survival on this planet became somewhat ensured ie wild beasts, volcanic fire etc, then it ceases to some degree to be useful… I mean that children can pick up and adopt all sorts of irrational fears, from adults’ behaviour, and I think that natural child is more daring than any of these current societies would realise or allow.
Irrational fear may manifest because it is a powerful emotion which produces adrenalin, which is appreciated by the body/brain…..and because we are bereft of natural/rational fear, it is like a drug to us and a trigger can be invented in the mind for satisfaction.
In the lack of other strong emotions also, like intense joy, love or amazement….when our lives become dull, for example.
LOVE
xxxx
FEAR!!!hmm, you buy a beautiful and very expensive mentle piece and love it too much.so much that you cant keep your eye off it. its there in your room and with every single move you take care that it might not break.the fear arises in you out of intensity of your love. fear of loosing something you really love. soon it becomes an obsession. one day you cant bear the intensity any more. its taking too much of botheration to take care of that piece. and you TAKE THAT MENTLE PIECE IN YOUR OWN HANDS AND LET IT DROP AND BREAK ON THE FLOOR. a shattering sound, a dashing to ground and its all over. all botheration all fear, every thing. you cherish on the memories coz they are without the pain and fear now.sweet memories and finally you realise you have FREED YOURSELF FROM FEAR. a liberation.
love,
saba
Quite honestly, one step at a time.
Fear is quite a “useful” emotion, it helps me to proceed with caution.
To know
someone’s soul,
to know the feelings,
strange..
you feel it is simple
you hope it is,
believing in someone’s goodness,
pure heart,
will take you far, you think,
but it’s not right,
we are not all the same,
we make mistakes,
we do horrible things,
that is so.. sad
nothing and everything
are not the same,
to know it..
you have to stay away,
stay back,
from the awareness of freedom
and lies,
from love and understanding,
you step aside,
then you can see the truth,
it’s ugly,
but it’s the only way
of… fighting.
love
Agnieszka
This is in response to the question of the week on Coehlo’s blog: How do you face fear?
I agree with Haxolither that fear is a positive as well as negative force. There are certain fears which don’t hold me back from anything, but only prevent me from harming myself. These are what I consider positive fears. These fears are ones like walking in the middle of the highway, my fear of touching a hot stove, my fear of driving drunk, etc.
On the other hand, fear can act as a negative force when it comes between someone and their desires. I think these are the fears most people are referring to on this blog. Judging from the other comments, it appears that most people here have expelled this form of fear from their life, and I wish I could say the same. Sadly I can’t; I often find myself a slave to unnecessary fears. I recognize the fact that it’s unnecessary, however I continue to let it control me. I often put too much stock into what other people think of me. I have a fear of not being liked, a fear of self, which I’m sure a lot of people share. I hold back or won’t open up to people due to this fear. I also often don’t do what I want to do out of a fear of disappointing other people. For example, last summer my mom was getting stressed out with work, and wanted someone to help her in the path lab. Part of her job doesn’t involve that much training, because it’s just cutting up and labeling specimens. She begged me to come in and fill in this job, so I did. This job was as boring as it sounds, and I spent most my time thinking about how badly I wanted to be somewhere else. I’ve learned two things from this experience. That a) formaldehyde is a horrible smell, and b) don’t always try to please others. Another one of my biggest fears is losing what I have in order to gain something else or bring something to the next level. I agree with what Coelho said in The Alchemist that everything has its price, and sometime I don’t want to pay that price. I believe in the natural balance of the world, and for everything thing lost, there is something else gained. Newton’s Third Law, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, applies to a lot more than just physical forces, but in the forces at play which can’t be calculated. (haha..I feel like a loser for saying that, but I do believe that.) College is my next big change, which will force me to lose much of what I have now: my family, my dog, my friends, my home, Berwick. I fear that I won’t like the trade-off between what I will have to lose, for what I will gain. But I also know that it’s something I have to do so my life doesn’t stay static. Perhaps my biggest fear is change, fear that when the balance is disturbed I won’t like the outcomes, and will want to return to how it once was.
Of late, I have come up against fear through the loss of my Mum. Her death has meant that I am facing the fears associated with missing her, needing her, coping without her. And also my loss brings up the biggest fear of being able to live my life fully. I don’t want a half-life, so I want to make sure fear does not stand in my way of being all that I can. These words have sparked in me the truest victory over fear in my life:
“According to your faith, be it unto you.” Matthew 9:29.
In other words, I believe that I am well, that I am strong, that God has a plan for my life that is good and whole, and through this faith, the fear recedes in the background. What I have faith in, is what eventuates.
Hello ANLAO
i can totally relate and have experience myself personally to what you said.
Angela
We all face small and large fears dailly. I have spent the last few years trying to overcome each fear by moving through it… First I avoid it, then I try to distance myself from it to get a bigger picture or I try to put it in perspective by talking with others, reading, going inside myself and giving myself a stern lecture :) And always I go to God and the angels and ask for help in overcoming myself. I try to get out of my own way. I brace myself and move through the fear and as I do, each little fear dissolves and I get a little stronger, more confident each day. I look back to six months ago, and I am a totally different and new person, and that is very good :) Life is an adventure to be enjoyed thoroughly through our fears, loves, fun times and always there is a lesson (if we only have eyes to see).
Blessings,
Lorri
Walking forward. In the usual course.
faith words: words, can be a prayer heard when I was a child or dreams of what can be tomorrow when the light is back , and always by listening to others, by loving them by giving them time, love and care. only love is stronger than fear
Confront it.
In order to answer this question, I must sum it up by simply stating: right now, I don’t face fear. Throughout my recent study of World Literature and Humanities for school, I have had more chances to look inside myself than ever before. After doing so, I would say that fear is one huge element that encompasses many issues I face. I fear any change that is permanent, I have a fear of being disliked, or people not understanding the person I truly am or am trying to become, a fear of what I will do with my life, how I will get it (pretty much a fear of the future in general), and also a huge fear of death, just to name a few.
I know that part of facing fears is acknowledging how they got there in the first place. This is the process I am currently going through, and know I will continue for a while. Part of the problem is that I don’t know why I fear; I’ve always accepted that I just do. These fears that have no reason for existence sometime consume me, and I allow them to manifest in parts of my life that I don’t fear. Sadly, it’s not hard to say that fear has been the groundwork for my path in life, a path that also causes me to settle. In school I’m afraid that I’m just not smart enough, so I settle for not trying hard so I can have something to blame it on. I settle for not speaking my mind at times, or acting in a way that I don’t want to present myself, because I’m afraid of taking risks and being judged or disliked for how I want to act. I’m scared of a change in my life that’s permanent, and that permanent change being a bad one, but I settle for my preoccupation with this unknown. I also get worked up by fearing little things; I fear that this writing is bad, so it takes me too long because I overanalyze everything, but I eventually settle for the final product which I all too often see as not impressive enough.
I understand that fear is an instinctual part of being human, and I’m not trying to eliminate the fear anything in my life, because that’s not possible. One way I will overcome big fears though, so they don’t run my life, is by living in the present. I think my tendency to live in the past or future is the root of many of my fears.
I know death is guaranteed, but life is not; my own life is what I make of it, and it won’t be successfully created without me facing fear. Right now in my life, I need to take the biggest steps forward, and resist taking even more steps back. During this time, I’m slowly learning about myself, and fear unfortunately comes with that. In my Humanities class, we discussed the differences between wisdom and knowledge, and in a previous paper I wrote about how it relates to me. I know that I’m gaining more and more knowledge with the passing days, but I’m far from possessing wisdom. I will be wise when I accept, instead of fear, the results of my newfound beliefs and knowledge. This is when I accept the fact that I will go nowhere after I die, because that coincides with my belief that there is no god. This is when I stop apologizing for who I’m willfully becoming because I fear that this new person is being judged. It’s also when I stop agonizing over the possibility that some change may occur in my life that will have a permanent impact, because that change is not a part of the present state that I ignore by living in the future.
I believe that I can only face my fears when I possess wisdom, and also that I will become wise as a result of facing my biggest fears. This seemingly makes no sense, but maybe it’s possible that there is no arrow pointing one to the other, and they work together in some sort of cycle which I’m unable to grasp until my journey is complete.
One of my favorite quotes so far in The Alchemist (which I’m currently reading) speaks of strains caused by people’s fears. When Santiago’s heart is speaking to him it says, “People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.” This couldn’t be more related to me, and I can say I’ve experienced every one of these examples. I realize that when I finally face my fears, my heart will no longer suffer. Not just that, but it will also be the guiding force in my life, instead of fear. I want to reach the point where the voice from my heart is heard above the drones caused by fears from my mind, as well as everyone else around me.
Well, I have a great fear of being on the stage - and as I used to love dancing and singing it was suggested that I try facing my fear by just doing it. Getting up and singing. Well, it didn’t work. I went through the embarrasment of my knees physically knocking (which makes me laugh now when I think about it) and thankfully the video man just filmed my face. I had to take a Vallium which for someone who never takes any form of tablet was probably a bit strong but it didn’t work in the least.
I think sometimes, there are some fears that whether you like it or not, you can’t seem to overcome.
Fear can only be overcomed by encountering it…Just stare in the eyes of fear and liberate yourself from that retarding force that keeps you from moving forward..
AVC - my goodness you appear to know me….;-) but not quite enough….because I am not afraid of death at all. I believe that death could be a blessing and not necessarily something to fear? My only fear in this context would be, not having fulfilled my duties here on earth, when destiny strikes. Perhaps some need more lives in order to reach full maturity?
Thank you for your response AVC, Love, Paul
There is instinctual fear, which helps prevent us from harming ourselves, and there is irrational fear, which prevents us from experiencing Life!
I appreciate the former, and I acknowledge the latter, but I strive to learn from it and move on, rather than allowing it to restrict me.
Blessed Be
)o(
i ve read all the previous responses the last two days..but something kept me from replying..and i think I can relate to many of you friends..Mostly to those that Anlao said - the invisible fear that is always there and haunts you in a way - and to those that aterg said - when fear is the negative force to move forward and pursue your dreams…there is nothing worse from this feeling inside that holds you back and you feel helpless, you want to help yourself to rich up the surface but you let yourself drowning, in your fears, your thoughts, and you remain under the surface..
And now i realise that it’s all in my mind..every obstacle..i was the one that put it there, or let it keep existing..afraid to live…yes i think that is the case..afraid to live..maybe this is synonym to afraid to love..myself…because in my family you have to have some standards to be loved and follow rules…anyway..
i cant understand how did i let this happen..afraid to live..?being afraid to live is denying this gift of life..and that brings me so many tears..i ve lost so so many days, years…today like iwaas holding the glass of water in my hands, it slipped somehow..(subconsciously perhaps i did it..) and this view of the shattered piecies-that scattered everywhere in the room- of this so good-looking blue glass of water(only on the outside) was so deliberating…like a spell was broken…
I still havent picked up the glasses…i feel compelled looking at the sight..
Fear for me is synonym to Death..it can let you die inside…and now all i wish is God give me time before i die to fix all this..to clean up this mess in my life..
Thank you all
Love to all of you..
Erika,
It seems to me that you are already well on your way, and that you have identified some very important keys to opening some doors that may still appear closed to you.
And, as far as I am concerned, your style of writing is excellent!
Wish you all the best in your continued efforts!
I read all the answers above and appreciated the fact that I found so many good ideas, with which I completely agree.
Fear is not necessarily what stops us from taking action, but the fact that we think that it cannot be overcome; we don’t understand how to do that, but often, when confronting a certain situation, we don’t ask “how” anymore, just go beyond it, without thinking, analysing anything.
And there is another thing: when we try to overcome some anxieties, if we fail one time, we have the tendency to give up, to believe that we are not capable of more, to impose some artificial limits in our brains. But the courage is in our hearts and our hearts try as many times as necessary because they know and feel that victory is possible! :-)
For me, prayers and Sahaja Yoga meditation sessions represent a great solution and I thank God from all my heart that all my prayers are answered… I wish I could understand the meanings of the answers all the time, very clearly, without the need to interpret them in my mind which can be so dellusive.
I have always believed, believe and will believe in the Power of Good, Light, Love with all my heart! :-) I am absolutely sure that good has infinite powers and when identifying with its forces, fear seems so helpless!
My worries are no longer for my person, as I choose to let my life in the hands of God, and I am convinced that the all pervading Power of God’s Love rules over everything, including my existence, but for the others, for those who don’t believe, don’t know and don’t feel God’s soothing presence in their souls and minds… And here comes the prayer and meditation, and the conviction that a good attitude can help a lot in the world, even when we are not really aware of it.
These days a thing really strikes me more than before as it became more evident tahn ever: how come in general people pray, when they pray, just for their own benefit and at most for their family only? I guess that people don’t fully realize the power of prayers for the entire collectivity of the world…
Instead of wasting time with hating, being afraid or angry, we should pray and meditate, wishing better conditions for the whole world, for the entire humanity to be more aware and enlightened, even for those who are wrong, maybe they will find the right path eventually… So, we could avoid the fear of thinking only for our immediate benefit, we can defeat our Egos by sharing our souls for the growth of all! :-)
Lots of hugs and may God bless the whole world always! :-)
Affectionately,
Carmen Larisa
It’s a secret…
P.S. How come, dear Paulo, you ask but you never tell us your answer? If I remember correctly, you said you would or could, when wanting to change the “face” of the blog… It would make the whole concept more interesting and dynamic; of course if you have time and desire…just a suggestion. :-)
I think that my problem, at the moment,is that I don’t ‘face’ fear. I allow it to consume me at times.
My dear wise father, who went onwards many years ago, used to say, ‘If you have a problem, decide what is the worst that can happen, decide what you are going to do about it and then forget about it.’
This works for me with practical difficulties/fears but emotional fear and concerns about others are my greatest challenge.
I most often seem to be operating on two levels: one in which I cannot face my fears and other which tells me ‘There is nothing to fear - ever, you are all absolutely safe.’
If I could find the key to stay in the second all the time, I would live the life I am supposed to be here for.
I am halfway through your new book, Paulo, and it seems to me that Athena is in a similar place in her search. She is aware that a giving up of self and trust in the universe/God/love is what is required but is still controlled by fears. I am looking forward to finding out what she discovers.
Love to all…
by ignoring it!! when one must ?
hi Paulo, would u mind answering this or telling us some link to your ‘views’ on facing fear, how do u face fear ?
By Praying to God and facing all the fears strongly with an open mind and ready to take the challenge … because if i will runaway it will appear again and again so better to be the one who make the first step than waiting and watching that fears destroying me each minute ..
My father always tells me “You are allowed to feel FEAR, but cut down on the times that you let fear get the better of you”. I face my fear head on. It’s the only way that you become free of them. If you run away from them, or let them control you, you can never move away from them…
I find, the first step is always the hardest part. But knowing that I hurdled that first step to face my fear, knowing that I don’t cower, is for me fuel to encourage me forward. And then I find out…whatever happens..because I made that first step….I feel proud of myself. And the rest..is not so bad.
I just let myself feel the fear for some seconds. I imagine the worst thing that could happen, and they I remind myself that I’m prepared to handle it.
Knowledge is the key.
There are different types of fear. Rational fear serves to protect us. Fear could be a warning sign and a stop break so you won’t put yourself into unnecessary danger. We also fear change, entering into the unknown. In that case I face fear with hope and a prayer. I pray that this new situation is an opportunity for learning and personal growth. I pray to God for guidance. I ask specific questions in my conversations with God (that’s what prayer really is) and if I’m patient and I’m able to stay aware I always get the answer. Rather than resist I surrender to God’s will. Then there is fear that stems out of our own insecurities. The best way to overcome this type of fear is by replacing “fear and doubt” with “love and trust”. Trust that the Universe is presenting you with this challenge for some particular reason, usually facing your fears will lead to personal growth. Trust in yourself that you will be able to face the challenges and overcome the difficulties and that even if the situation causes you pain, you will come out of it alright, and sometimes even better.
With faith in myself and God. At those moments I’m thinking that God is with me, and that He won’t let something bad happen to me, something that I wouldn’t be able to handle or to learn from.
I try to think positively. And I think about the ones I love. It gives me strenght, always. Love
Tanja
I used to think that I could not leave my partner. I felt that I was trapped and I used to wish he was dead. The fear was that the children would go astray. That they should not be raised without a farther. That I would have no where to live and no income. Then one day I realised that Infact it didn’t matter. The truth was that I could just leave. Take the children with me and that what ever came to us we would deal with it. Ever since I have realised this,my relationship with my partner has changed and I now feel able to deal with every situation that comes to me.
“My favorite definition of fearlessness is this: the ability to remain soft and open, even under very difficult circumstances. Most often, fear causes us to shut down to our own and others’ humanity. We just want to get away, but the quickest way out is to stay. If you can slow down a bit, you can see that fear rises, abides and dissolves on its own. Allowing this process is the mark of the spiritual warrior. The coward turns attention toward fighting fear; the warrior accommodates it”. ~~Oprah~~
This is something i remind myself of to think about and do when fear comes knocking at my door.
You tame it as one would tame an wild horse.
Paul,
I am sorry if you misunderstood me; I did not mean to imply that I know you.
Congratulations to being fearless.
Not many people would dare to say that. :-)
Some days before this question was posted, my child stood at the bottom of the stairs, requesting me to catch a spider the size of my thumb-nail.
I assured her; If she come up past the spider, I would then catch it and put it out.
Of course, she began with rational, natural hesitance; which soon, after too much time, ended in near hysteria. But she eventually ran up the stairs…straight to bed - which wasn’t where she was intending to go originally, and then began crying.
I said; Why cry now, when at the bottom of the stairs you wanted to cry? You should feel good now - you did it.!
I didn’t force her to; I just gave more time to waiting than she would to resisting; she was quite composed up till then.
I pointed out that there are many times in a person’s life when what we fear must not stop us doing what we wanted to do…..then I left her for ten minutes, when she came downstairs again.
I felt like a bitch - she may have thought so too - but she wouldn’t dream of saying so; and she’s bright enough to know that one day, she’ll see the true point of the exercise.
I’m just wondering what will happen when the next spider turns up……
Love to all
xxxx
I pray.
With love and ever-expanding consciousness of the underlying truth.
Greetings Paulo,
How I have faced fear in the past is that I run and I mean run like hell. It looks like a variety of drama scenes that I create to distract myself from what is the cause.However, what I am learning is how to sit, sit, and sit some more with the feelings of fear and my desire to run like hell. It has been truly a healing process in many aspects of my life.
I Pray ..
as i feel that Prayer is the most powerful instrument to counter fear…also it gives Hope for tomorrow..
Praying for Peace and Hope for everyone.
Ranjana
With anticipation, face to face.
There are different types of fear and I act according to the situation. But i’ll describe two situations that I recall most commonly facing. Great question!
Scenario 1: Fear of failure.
This might be the most common fear I have, it guides the way I act and the words I use in public situations. Usually the fear just appears as faster heart beat, blushing and forgetting the vocabluarity… and I’ll probably appear as a kinda ackward person, I guess, but I’m pretty used to it so I just swallow it the way it comes.
But when facing a big challenge that I’m terrified of, I write my anxiety down. I write each word that describes the situation and my feelings on paper and the more I write, the less I seem to have stuff to write about. And evenmore, when I read the text, I notice there’s nothing there that has not faced humankind before and which is not part of life, and I meditate/pray that whatever happens, happens because it is for the best. I breathe in very deeply and as I do that I seem to be filled with confidence, love and peace.
And, honestly, things generally turn into much better than I had even dreamed of!
Scenario 2.
I’m faced with a sudden situation, that makes my heart jump into my mouth, which most commonly would happen on a motorbike.
Solution: I seem to stop thinking, and it’s as if something took control over me, and moved my muscles the best way possible in order to solve the situation, with as little harm as possibe. Next thing I know, I’m possibly shaking a bit, totally amazed by what happened and how I didn’t hurt myself (at least not seriously), and I ride a bit slower for a while until I’m back to normal. My dad always made sure that when I fell with my brother’s motocross bike, I shouldn’t go home before I’ve gone back on track first. Otherwise I might get trauma and not want to go back at all anymore.
i think the best way to face your fear is to take small steps……..it always works for me in every situation. Although in cases that need many small steps I tend to get overwhelmed by the road lying ahead of me.
Fear is a powerful emotion which can be overwhelming if left alone, avoided and unacknowledged.
I speak to fear when he appears by my side, find out why it has come before it becomes too stong and uncontrollable.
Everyone at some point tries to ignore their fears but it is better to understand why he has come and how you should move on with his help.
A.V.C.–
Thank you very much for your comments and compliments. I’m new to this blogging (it was part of an English assignment), so I was nervous about posting among all the regulars, but it makes me happy that at least someone enjoyed it!
I also want to say that I really appreciated your comment to Paul earlier, about how moving in to adulthood involves getting rid of your fears. I liked it mainly because as an 18 year old, I’m torn between wanting to stay a child and the realization that I need to truly become an adult very soon, so thanks for that!
Fear is no longer assuming the face of a predatory animal; hunting and taking away my emotions and motion.
Fear became guide and an adviser, a thermostat giving me a glimpse of real danger and overwhelming emotions that can shake fragile inner world
Fear gives me the change to look inside to face inner blocks and to review confusing view points.
Fear. It’s all in your mind. When it appears to be, I step away from myself,assess my breathing,inhale deeply, access my Hu within my being.
Fear is a bad counsellor.In critical situations
i don’t take the right decisions.I cann’t think
clear, it is impossible to find a solution.
My heart is beating like crazy.
I think it is created by my illusion that it
will be going wrong.It happen on new situations.
I should stay calme and evaluate the problem
without panicing
Fear is something that most of us learned as we grew. As infants we did not know what it was like to fear. The only emotions we felt was love, comfort, warmth from our parents. For those who were abandoned, they must have felt hungry…but still unaware. As we grew we became afraid our parents would leave us, afraid of our teachers and their big fat rulers, afraid when we saw the police.I believe alot of this fear stems from authoritative figures who teach us to be afraid of authority…the ultimate authority God and death.
The Media is the number one vessel that has spread fear to the masses..it is an epidemic.
I have so much to be afraid of cause I am overly educated about every virus, terrorist attack, mass shooting, etc. But I wouldn’t not want to be educated about those things.
So now I must live with the fear, but not let it control me.
Nature is the best antidote for dear….the ocean…
well… simple and complicated I face it. The fear stop you. I try to calm down and make the firs step.
Hi all,
I believe in God and I know that everything in life, in the world, in the universe or is done by God, or is allowed by Him. Knowing too that God will never do or allow something bad for me, for us, it means that the cause of the fear is something good for me, that I can’t understand in this moment. Everything is in our way to see the things. Lucii Anae Senecae wrote about 2000 years ago about one’s problems that the legs of the mountain are covered by mug, hurted by wild winds and blind by fog; but far over the fog, the wind and the mug his white head acclaims every m