By Paulo Coelho
Fine words are meaningless
when we come face to face with suffering.
(The Fifth Mountain)
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I agree with this quote…when i was going through the most suffering months of my life - physically and phychologically being in deep and unbearing pain, even though there were so many people - parents, sister, friends- that were saying everything will be fine, or hang on, or you ll become again well dont worry, they were meaningless..like i couldnt hear them..
Sometimes words cannot take away suffering its a process people must work through themselves ..Blessings Tania
Realy fine words do not mean nothing when we are facing suffering. There is no word that could express our feelings in that moment. I know that I am speechless in those moments and I rather stay silent. Sometimes that is the best way to deal with it.
The word suffering has such a negative feel to it. Due to this feeling that all associated with it is bad, it’s very easy for the individual to get wrapped up in the idea that with suffering everything else becomes negative too. It can absorb us into shutting others out and putting up a wall so that we are not bothered more by other forces of suffering which may be lingering around. This wall remains impermeable to everything, alternate feelings and a chance to feel better, people who love and care for us are normally shut out, and words have no meaning unless they are the ones going on through our heads when we are in a state of suffering.
It’s easier while suffering and neglecting to let the outside in to be numb when someone says “it will be OK” or “I’m sorry, hope everything turns out alright”. I believe the human mind is conditioned to in situations of suffering think the worst. It begins normally with why, whether it is why did this happen to me or why did this happen to another individual which in the end affected me. After thinking of this we then begin to think of how it’s only going to get worse from here, it’s a very pessimistic attitude. It’s easier for us to be negative and pessimistic due to the negative affect of the word suffering and the act of suffering on us as human beings.
If the word suffering is redefined by the individual that is, fine words have the ability to mean something. If instead of having this negative force which comes to the word, it is looked upon as something that will in the end open up and opportunity and occurred for a more positive reason, then the wall of negativity and pessimism may not have to be put up to shut all other things out. If we chose while suffering to think optimistically that our suffering is to teach us something beyond that moment, then we can be more open to the words from others as encouragement that life is supposed to proceed and we are to move forward. By letting those words affect us while in the state of suffering, slowly the meaning changes. With others to aid I believe suffering becomes more bearable and something that we can overcome quicker. There will always be a period during suffering where the person who is will want to shut themselves into an emotional room for a bit, but it’s just part of the healing process. It’s better to overcome suffering than to let it overcome you. Without healing, it will start to control aspects of our lives in a negative fashion.
For an example: When my friend died when I was a sophomore in high school, I thought the world as I knew it was going to end. We were pretty close and she was one of those people that if you encounter them you never want to let them go because they open you eyes up so much to the world. I felt like I had lost a guide in my life, she had already impacted me in so many ways. After I met her, she changed who I was because she was so bubbly and carefree and she knew how to experience life to the fullest. I was devastated when she died. I didn’t know what I was going to do and nothing anyone was saying was helping me at all. I listened to music a lot putting up a wall no one else could enter. I never really talked to my parents about it and went to bed crying at night thinking of how life at school, my life, and the immediate world around me was going to change. I stopped singing after that year because it was something we did together at school; softball was hard because it was the sport we played together. Eventually I opened up again, no thanks to the “professionals” who lingered at school for a few weeks after her passing and then reappeared the year of her first anniversary, but because I finally realized I couldn’t let this affect me in a negative way. I transformed the suffering into an optimism that things can only get better from here. I never let go of softball and quit because she wouldn’t have wanted me to. I began singing again because if she was here she’d be right beside me and I still believe she is to a certain degree. I’ve become the person I am due to the fact that I realized being more outgoing and not shutting myself up into my own little world is what will open the opportunities for me to experience life to the fullest.
When we let fine words mean something while suffering, it opens up the opportunity for us to change things and make the suffering a positive experience to move on from so that tomorrow, the day may be just a little better.
agreed with that though. in time of suffering sometime you just need someone to hold you tight.
…and yet, there is one Word
that will resound over that great sea
of sorrow and silence,
whose waters are the blood
and the tears of the angels.
One single word
upon the utterance of which
the bridge over the abyss
will suddenly appear
in the night.
Patience
xxxx
What about a word coming from the center?
I will never stop using my voice when it comes from the heart even when I face suffering.
A word which is pure and open embraces every pain and suffering in this world.
A world without words is a world without voice.
The dance of the alphabet expresses the power of existence in every being.
Suffering disappears in the soul of a voice.
Love
All Ways
Hildegarde
Yep, you are right, words are just words-an attempt of people to share something of them… which is pointless at the moment of suffering, but later when come over, you realize them…and understand them…not the “words” but the meaning hidden behind the words which we try to find out what they are all about through out whole life.
Which means, sometime people need to suffer to realize them. Especially one: LOVE
Petr
I don’t know.
Love to you, Leaf.
Sometimes feelings and experiences are not translatable into words. This is where telepathy and other forms of extra-sensory perception come in handy. Anyone can develop these skills. What you discern or tap into grows from your faith and beliefs.
Last week a 15 year old girl I was speaking with, told me that she saw no reason why she should be alive. She wanted to die. I responded… Think of all the people who would be sad if you died. Her answer… That is what I am… an effect. I knew no other words of comfort. What to say to a young girl who just wants to die? I told her I would not let her drown. We sink or we swim, together. She is resilient. And still alive today. But I sometimes wonder, what can I say? Has it come to this, that we must convince children of the value of living?
Leeca,
I did not read it yet, but maybe you could offer her “veronika decides to die”
Have a great afternoon.
How is this possible..
no one can say..
we’re like the butterflies…
so frail..
Why do we need so much words,words are useless.
Feelings are more important then words.
We don’t need a lot of words to understand someone
If you are sensitive enough you can see the suffering of others
So true!!!
quand les mots semblent creux c est que nous avons abdique. c est que la peine a atteint la foi. On hurle dans toutes les langues et sous differentes formes’pere pourquoi m as tu abandonne’
apres il faut une resurrection….
elle arrive sous des formes differentes pour chacun mais elle arrive
amitie a tous
It is our actions, not our words, that truly matter in times of great suffering. We can write thousands, millions of pages of writing, but in the end it is what we do, physically that makes the true difference.
Now I’m not trying to downplay the importance of what we write (considering i’m on an author’s blog). Writing is quite a powerful, if not the most powerful, way to incite and encourage action. Martin Luther King Jr’s speech during the March on Washington did not cause any change, but it was the actions it caused, the passions it incited that helped eliminate the suffering of slavery. So ultimately it’s what we do that has the true impact.
~
Now, in the case of spoken words, i think it’s more the feeling and heart behind the words that augment and adds meaning to the voice. This is like the whole universal language deal in the Alchemist. When it really comes down to true suffering i think you have to revert back to that language we all understand, the language of the heart. We need to take the suffering of others into ourselves. We must share their suffering, understand it, and with our hearts console it. It is that language beyond words, the language through the eyes that has meaning.
Dear Leeca
When I was a child and a young person I did not want to live either. The girl you write about has her reasons. She shows you trust and that is a very good start. You need not to despair yourself if you want to help her, you need to stay centered. What does your heart tell you to do?
Inspire her to take a look at what she has learned in her heart about life. Or what she is learning. And see if it´s possible ti inspire her to look at the situation thru the eyes of love.If she were loving to her self, than what? The buddists say that sorrow either breaks our hearts or make them deeper. Life is a gift and you can teach her about that if you share some of the simple things that you love about life - like a walk in the woods or whatever you enjoy.
Maybe just give her some love in some way. She might suffer from lovenlessness in her life. Whatever she decides, respect her decision. Her soul is capable of her own decisions, let her have her free will…
Dear Paulo, you appear to be the only one who does not allow yourself to be paralysed, we (others) are usually breathless in such moments and words simply fail (ours and those of others).
It is not always necessary to say something, only to be there and give comfort. Some want to be left alone with their suffering, others need just a shoulder. Words, if ever, come much later.
It is “suffering” that grieves me so much in this world. I wish from the bottom of my heart that no one has ever to suffer again.
Caitie: Nice thinking
And for my reply to this entry:
Fine words are not meaningless
when they come form the heart.
Sometimes a simple “It’ll all be good” can lift us up to see some light on the dark sky when we can hear it comes straight from the heart and soul of the one who utters those simple words.
“When you love until it hurts, then there’s no more hurt, only more love”
Mother Theresa
love
Agnieszka
I am frustrated over something happening in my community and would like to share it with you.
We are the richest community in the whole country and for the first time we have beggars in the streets coming from another country in Europe. They are around 18-23 years old, people which through history has been very badly treated. They are sitting outside our fancy food stores trying to play an instrument, begging for money. One of the girls is pregnannt. They have been sleeping in a skate board park, it’s zero degrees outside.
Every month we citizens are paying taxes to church. I do expect from church to help these people but ‘no’. A diakon is saying in the local paper ‘we can help them only for a short while maybe, but we don’t have so much money’. I’m so disappointed for this statement from our church which is rich. I’m thinking of leaving church - I can give the money directly to people in need. Should the church see people as us, ‘who we are helping’, and them, ‘who we are not helping’? Maybe this is politics but it is unfortunately from the real world. And I know many people are starving in the world but we have to start somewhere and I want to contribute with what I can.
Alexander
All I can say is:
Ditto!
Carina
Only you can decide what is best for you to do, but I just wanted to say to you that I stopped giving my tithe 10% to the church, when I found out that it then gave 10% of that to ‘the poor’….excuse me? where’s the other 90% gone? (from all donations, not just mine)
I don’t know where abouts in the world you are, but it’s not easy when we become cynical of the church…but have faith in this - your Faith is dependent on Your relationship with God, and the dictates of Your own conscience, Not what the church tells you to do or say or think.
A picture comes to me now to say;
perhaps you have a few like-minded friends/colleagues who would like to share in gathering a food parcel/blankets for these people?
When we act upon our compassion, we may also open up long closed gates, rekindling someone’s lost hope in humanity/love…priceless.
LOVE to all
xxxx
A.V.C.
this was beautiful!
love
Agnieszka
I don’t think that words could possibly fill a void, A child does not understand his mothers words but feels the warmth, the overwhelming sense of Love and security. In times of suffering there are no words in any language that the can support the other. Every person needs to suffer at some point in their life, it’s part of growth, compassion and understanding. It is an emotion that can be expressed in various forms anger, abuse, denial. But it’s a beautiful emotion that allows you to empathise with other’s and bring us back to ourselves. WE are no different, our emotions are the same and at this level we are all one Subconsciously and collectively one and part of suffering and those who become the reflection of our owns sufferings.
words are balms to apply on our wounds .But there are wounds where words fail.