Browsing blogs I found this interesting question based on one of my books The Valkyries.
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible,” she insisted.
Have you ever made this pact?
Browsing blogs I found this interesting question based on one of my books The Valkyries.
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible,” she insisted.
Have you ever made this pact?
Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not.
Styled with arrariv
I guess I made this pact unconsciously with myself towards my son. When he was little, I let him win all the games we played together; and now that he is older, I choose not to win, usually on intellectual matters, whenever I feel that it would hurt his feelings or his self-esteem.
I guess you can make this pact towards people who are weeker than you in some way; if you are challenged, it would be harder or at least require a high level of spiritual growth..
when to make this pact … with oneself? anyone? what does “winning” mean here? could you pls give a context? maybe an example? I haven’t read Valkyries yet but can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this. peace, Sai
a real hero can think and act as promised.not for an ordinary.
in an encounter of ideas,you feel and make the other feel subtly not overtly that you can go ahead keeping head high …but with a smile by looking into his eyes ..u with draw….it requires wings to fly over pettiness.
If anyone ever tried or achived that pact…well he actually has WON!…with HimSelf….only a few rare people are capable of making that pact!
Its really inspring isnt it..?
Thanks You Paolo Coelho!:)
How appropriate that I should chance upon this quote now. ‘The Valkyries’ has a very special place in my heart. Reading parts of it reminded me of certain events in my life. It brought me face to face with my pain and my liberation.
The pact NOT to win when the chance arises is an important thing to learn. It is a very difficult thing to rein in your desire to win when the opportunity arises. It is a type of ‘giving’ not only to someone else, but also to yourself.
A beautiful quote. Thank you Paulo.
life put each one of us in a crease challenge it living the life by itself in special way & if you mad it it will be a great victory!!
Right???
“Nós temos um contrato, você e eu: não para ganhar quando a vitória é possível”, insistiu ela.
Você já fez esse pacto?
Não li Valkírias. Analisando a pergunta, respondo que.
Em meio há 1/4 de século vividos, penso que passei por muitas situações parecidas com essa. Não se trata de jogo, você não ganha ou perde apenas quando participa de alguma competição. Tens que viver com o corpo em movimento, mas com a mente centrada, em determinada situação existem pessoas que merecem muito mais a vitória, não perderás se não vencer.
Mas aprenderá.
What does Win mean when you do not know what it really is?. The sense of a victory is up to the finding of your thoughts and feelings. It may be possible that promising not to win is already a victory. Perhaps it is relative.
Nice Forum
Yes, every time a victory would cost someone else more than it would cost me (emotionally) myself. God always wins, in the end.
I’m a little late to the game. :) i just finished reading the Valkyries and felt compelled to share my discovery. As i was reading it all came back. i made that agreement with myself long ago. i sacrificed victory when i felt it leading me away from my twin sister. It was the first time guilt and shame touched my heart in the face of victory. And so i turned my back on myself and descended into the darkness, living with the abuse and the rage. My life began to spin out of control. Then when i could take no more i broke that pact. it meant i had to leave her. And she would inherit that pact from me but i could not stay. i took the risk and left.I bet everything i held dear that i deserved better. And the world conspired with me. I ended up sheltered by the kindness of two of god’s servants. People who taught me to overcome the sadness that filled me, to forgive myself and others and to reach confidently for the stars. My sister would come out of the darkness too. And after years of being apart we were reunited. This time with a love beyond victory. We encourage each other to follow our hearts together or apart. We know that we are bound by a stronger cord of unconditional love and acceptance. In many ways i still live with that struggle and find that it finds me in the oddest places. But my faith is great and my conviction strenghtened everyday. Finding this book i think comes from that. Thank you Paulo for sharing this epiphany. Thank you and your wife for your courage and your vulnerability. And thank you to all those on this list for your generosity.
algunas veces los humanos actuamos de manera egoista, movidos por sentimeientos que van mas alla de nuestro conciente o subconciente,
algunas situaciones determinan el camino a recorrer, la mente humana es capaz de crear y creer en situaciones que de alguna manera no nos conducen a ninguna parte.
necesitamos un poco de conciencia para tener el valor de apartar o en algunos casos RENUNCIAR,….. a eso le llamo libertad poder elejir y desistir de cualkier camino si en el proceso descubrimos que ya no tiene tanto sentido.
no todo el tiempo tenemos que cargar con una victoria que mas que nada solo sirve para imflar le parte negativa del ego……….
I was deeply moved when I read that phrase in the Valkyries. I could identify with it. And reading about how it came to be so, for the character in the book..I could identify with that too. This is a common human reaction to extreme pain or fear I believe. I think maybe it has something to do with the fear of separating from others (fragmentation)whether by progress or regress. If I am seen as someone who is behind, low self esteem separates me from others. In “Brida” Paulo says thoughts of being unworthy are the worst form of separation because they are self-destructive. Similarly conceit and arrogance are a form of separation because we imagine we are better than others.
Is it possible that my soul knows both union and fragmentation, yearns for the former, fears the latter; and not knowing which outcome a certain course will bring, it promises not to win because of the fear of the unknown which may lead to fragmentation?
Or is it just fear of failure, low self esteem and also fragmentation.
But wait, since both bring fragmentation it doesn’t matter which reason it is, does it?
I find that I keep sabotaging my big plans for a different life, all by myself, eventhough victory is possible. What should I do?
Hello Renuka,
The Valkyries is a fantastic book!
Cannot tell you what to do, but will share a bit in hopes that there is something here that might be useful:
For several months I was recuperating from two surgeries and two bone transplants. After a while I became increasingly impatient (do not like laying around). It was during this time, had thought about ways that I was sabotaging too, with excuses. Thinking I ’should’ be able to conquor it all instantly. Although there was good reason to be patient and gentle. I prayed but still felt frustrated; wanting to go go go and do do do but this body and god said ‘No’ at every turn. It was scary! From there, felt betrayed by nature too (had worked hard since childhood and also traveled the world with a broken back after all!).
But I reread The Alchemist, then found this Blog, and the magic returned! (Something magical always happens when I read this book.)
And although I do not write beautifully or do all of the physical pushing, managed to find a few ways to be useful and helpful. Also was reminded that there is a difference between reasons and excuses.
Not knowing the outcome is the best part of living (to me). I hope you have a Guardian Angel. Sometimes mine has had to work very hard, but I know she doesn’t mind.
To feel fear is understandable, but comes from thoughts, (not the heart). But perhaps you can think of times that you took courage, and things turned out even better than you even dreamed?
Sometimes my dreams have taken me to far-away places, away from everything and everyone familiar. Huge wonderful adventures! Time spent in thinking/fussing about these sacrifices was much worse than the doing.
So I hope, hope, HOPE that you don’t give up!
Lots of Love to you, Jane : )
Theres no biggest good than to make mistakes, there is no biggest evil than not learning from mistakes.
it depends on what i think truly winning is.. i can lose something, but that lost could be a victory from another point of view. for example someone talked about parents who lose on purpose on their children, or people who lose to let friends win… are those truly losses? if i care about that person even if i lose i actually win because that person’s victory is a victory for me as well even if its from another point of view ;)
Its a strange question. It creates a different type of ego. Thats all. It wont carry u beyond ego. No parents worry to lose to their little children. Becoz they know for sure that they ll win.But they want to see others winning, their expressions. But their mind very well know that thay are mightier than them.Same thing happens here. Personally i felt this. I left my victories to my friends many times. They might not aware of my loosing purposefully. But it does not make any diff to my ego. When crucial time and situation happens, my ego bounces out and wins if it can. Instead of this, its better to think how to go beyond win and lose, beyond results, beyond ego, beyond action while doing action. means reaching “inaction” during action.
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible!
I have done this pact with myself sometime back, when I realize that winning isn’t everything in life. I also understood that there are no losers or winners as in fact everybody wins. The secret lies on how we look at things: what do we expect from them and the prize we are ready to pay – just to win.
I used to win each and every argument I came across, even if that will imply to put down the other party. But the victory was never sweet as my heart was not happy for who I was.
Then one day I felt the need to try something different, instead of letting my ego take over and win the battle using my good analytical/communication skills, I let my heart do the talk. I did not feel like a looser or a winner but instead I felt a joy I have never experience before. The emotion was such that I promise myself to always let my heart make the ultimate choice, especially when victory is involved.
loveNlight
Gabi
i too felt the same many times .i use my tongue like a double edged sword and cut all in many pieces and inwardly i rejoice in it. but ultimately i become a disappointed one .then with much difficulty , imanaged to keep silent now surprising everybody around .iam feeling happy now.
with realisation
varghese
The real victory is the one you hold within yourself.There are the steps taken,the lessons learnt on your own spiritual quest.That pact was made from the beginning.We cannot undo the things we have done,we cannot take back the words we have said and all the consequences.But the greatest victory of all is having survived it all,standing there now at that point and saying to yourself,”it just is”.Accepting that there are mysteries in life.That we cannot explain everything.We cannot explain the way we feel in the moment.This isn’t seizable.It’s abstract.Love is really a simple thing put in complex creatures.So of course it can take you to heaven and to hell.And like I said to someone dear to me today,men are made of many different facets just as the universe is made of many different doors.We have lost and we have won,we eternally will do that.But it’s a plus,it’s no regression.It’s a plus on that spiritual and personal quest.And as nothing is possible without others,I send you,all of you(whoever and whatever you are) only thanks and light.To be happy and to be well.And to love.
Love
Candie
In my perception this subject wants to pinpoint the differense between the real goal we all put in our lives towards objection.
It is true sometimes we keep follow a dream that seems so far away from our capabilities and we do not interprete correcty the signs, because there are signs not only to follow a dream but to quit too.
Are we obsessed are we egoists or simply overdoing overestimate our powers.
The line is too thin and certainly needs mental clarity to disinguish the difference.
But not to win when the victory is possible requires not only mental clarity but self control of the human nature also since we all want to win and perservance of mental and physical power, in order to use them when we are reaaly challenged.
So i thin modesty and humility are the critiria for the critical decisiion the signs will come afterwards.
The true warrior waits and gives his battles when needed not before, not after, because he is allerted but he doesn’t spend his powers in vain.
yes. that has been the whole point…
patience,
compassion,
fulfillment…
you don’t ‘Have to’ win.
una promesa de no ganar cuando la victoria es posible?
para ganar hay que perder! y si pierdo mas que lo que voy a ganr pues no vale la pena, el sacrificio, pues mi esencia no estaria al mismo nivel si tengo que dejar pedasos de mi alma en esa victoria, que solo me produce perdidas…………
I read “The Valkyries” and I remember this line very clearly. I guess that it’s a pact but who has a gain from it?
Not wanting to win when victory is possible sounds so strange but still so real… It depends on what is there to win.
It can be the case when you take part in a race, just for the sake of the game, not necessarily wanting to win. This doesn’t have bad effects. And there is another case, when you are not courageous and motivated enough to win, when you know it’s possible but still, it implies too much effort and you are not willing to do that. This is the situation of spiritual search, I believe, when people think that evolving implies too much hard work, because it is easier to destroy than to construct and to criticize others than to do the respective thing by yourself the way you want others to do it for you.
It seems that perfection is a very remote dream and only those who are very determined and brave can get closer to it every single day, overcoming all the inevitable obstacles in the way because they know that no matter how long it is, any road starts with a step, any ladder seems just an endless possibility if you are not willing to do the first move and then continue with another one and so on.
People would prefer to evolve but to do somebody else the hard work for them; this is not the way things go forward, and even if they seem to go backwards sometimes, they still go forwards! :-)
Burdens can become feathers if you start counting them one by one, instead of seeing their whole volume. Who said that it would be easy anyway? Life imposes some sacrifices but later they are transformed into blessings, if you have the patience to see the results of what you have planted, you will be pleasantly surprised by the results! I am convinced that God loves sincere, selfless and determined people and offers them all sorts of blessings sooner or later! ;-)
All my appreciation and respect, including for the wonderful stories in the latest issue of “The Warrior of the Light” online magazine… Thank you so much, dear Sir! :-)
Lots of love and hugs,
Carmen Larisa
P.S. I liked “The Pilgrimage” infinitely more than “The Valkyries,” maybe because those women were so strange, they seemed more devilish to me than angelic… Anyway, I love the sincerity of your writing, even though this implies revealing intimate things from your life and from your dear wife’s too; I am coinvinced that it is not always easy and pleasant, but at least your words express reality and this is wonderful, wanting to reveal your soul in front of so many people, your readers, I greatly admire that!
Namaste!
thank u , i needed to read this
Although many desire to win, victory can sometimes be so close that its nearly suffocating. In this moment some fear the realization of their goals and freeze until winning is no longer possible. Many call this cowardly, I believe it can sometimes be courageous. If a person cannot manage their success then they may not be ready to succeed. It takes a brave person to realize he/she is not ready and that there is still more to learn. Sometimes we need to take a step back in order to take bigger and more steps forward. Consequently, losing when winning is possible is sometimes necessary for the further personal advancement of that person.
I have never personally chose to lose when winning was possible; yet I acknowledge that not doing so may be a direct cause of much of my immature nature. Not only can losing when winning is possible benefit myself, it can benefit others who’s time to shine, while more well deserved, has always been clouded by others selfish intentions.
I feel it is vital for everyone to sometimes lose when winning is possible because, when success is finally realized, it will be far more rewarding, meaningful, and will further contribute in developing yourself into a more complete individual.
Dear 2bwritten,
Yes…to sacrifice, to die,…to save the world from sin. But..I don’t think that God wants us to die or sacrifice. Like in this movie: “Brother sun, sister moon” about St. Francis; when St. Francis says that God asks each of us only those things we can handle and serve the world in the name of love.
“Love one another as yourself”; that’s the greatest commandment of all, because… God is love.
love
Agnieszka
Maybe that’s the pact that Jesus made with God. How then, does this inform the way we ought to live our lives? Does anyone have any thoughts?
I don’t know…
Maybe, I guess…
But Trina… broke that pact for me…
~~~
Yeah, I did make that pact.
…
Because it feels so lonely to be up there all alone…
In the words of The Corrs:
“don’t want tot wake up alone anymore”
In my opinion winning is all for the ego, so if we come from ego we will never make that pact because ego will always want to win.
On the other hand if our goal is to grow as spiritual beings than we will make pacts not to win all the time, for in that case winning is not important but being humble and appreciating the experience.
When the time comes in which the experience is not serving us anymore, then is time to move on. This is most of the times more difficult in love relationships than anything else, for fear of being alone seems to be humanities worst enemy. We cannot let the fear be our master, we always need to chose love…
Blessings to all…
When I feel that winning does more good to the other party and they need it more than I do, to gain more confidence in themselves, I have knowingly not given my best.
In fact, now that I think of it, I do this a lot.
I guess it is to do with growing up and living with people who have a short temper and a very strong will – people who cannot handle losing. It is better to agree to their will rather than fight over every meaningless little thing, cos to them these things are not little.
But at the same time, when I feel something is important and worth fighting for, I am very persistant and will not give up. Especially if my winning means that the other party will learn from the combat and the losing situation, rather than it destroying their confidence and will to try again.
Pacts are sometimes about winning and losing ,or giving yourself to it or letting it go ..but when it does not go our way it is for a very good reason …and this in turn gives us more empowerment and can set us free.
The best pacts are those made with the Father ,son and Holy spirit ..trust the outcome positive or negative and give thanks that this is how it is ,bless it and just be .
Soon or later we all see the bigger picture .
Blessings Tania
Great story Derek,
and… true what you wrote Paul, the light should be spread..
love
Agnieszka
So many times.
This is first a lack of confidence in oneself and blindness.
We know now many ways of breaking pacts. First to recognize it. And what is a pact?
A pact is like a piece of paper, on which we would sign a big yes. It gives enthousiasm first, and lasts or dicrease.
Sometimes we sign, without knowing why we are doing. But just because it makes us happy. Because it is new.
Sometimes, we sign a big no, just because one person told us, we’d be unable to win. And we let one of our gift alone. For a while. Or forever.
When we have a dream, we want to reach it. So we want to win. Love helps us to, and love is the journey as the victory.
It happens we can’t move anymore, we can’t make any decisions still. We can feel we are closer to death that before. But it is only a new door to open, to feel lighter. It depends on the way we’re able to see it.
A pact is just a sign at the end of a paper, we can burn whenever we want.
But one has to know why he interrupted a gift to grow. Something maybe too easy to play and figure as a work, with certainty.
…why he seeks for taking energy from others, since he knows it will only make him happy for a time.
In himself he fights. In himself, he goes to search energy. That one he can only make light forever. In himself, he goes to know why his fruits are so poor, in regards with his first dreams.
There, he sees all the pacts he signed “yes”, though he felt the contrary. He realized he listened more to others, than his inner voice.
So, he breaks pacts, and sign new ones.
Ones that answer to his gift(s). His.
Your story is merely funny Derek, thank you.
I send you all my love.
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible,” she insisted.”
I absoultely agree, and I have made this pact with my husband. We have agreed there should be no winners in a marriage. In relationships sometimes “when you win, you lose”
Derek, that’s a wonderful short story, and the moral is that we must not keep knowledge to ourselves, we must pass it on for he good of future generations. Who knows, by doing so we may avert great tragedies. Thank you, Paul
Ok, so here is my story…maybe it will make some sense to some people.
“A man was walking down the street when he fell into a very large, very deep hole. Looking around he could find no way. He looked up and saw a doctor walking by:
The man called up to the doctor and said, “Doctor, I am stuck in this hole, can you help me out”.
The doctor took out a pen and pad and wrote down a prescription and dropped it down the hole to the man.
Next the man saw a priest walking by. “Hey father, I am stuck down in this hole, can you help me out? he yelled up the priest.
The priest look down, said and prayer for him and continued walking.
Next the man saw and old friend walking walking by. “Hey buddy, I am stuck down in this hole, can you help me out”.
His buddy looked down, and quickly jumped into the hole with him.
“Great” the man said, “now we are both stuck down in this hole”.
“Yes” said his friend, “but I have been in this hole before, and I know the way out”.”
Paul, I would actually hope that the point of this site is to encourage us to digress at times. I love coming here and seeing all the different answers and thoughts regarding the same question.
I do not think it is that anyone here is right or wrong, it is that these questions are very though provoking and often we all look at them a little different. We bring our own backgrounds and life expirences to our responses. Even our moods that given day influence how we look at these questions.
That of course leads to more personal discussions regarding what we are all going through in our lives. It is an amazing connection that we form here and it is great to see the support given from other to perfect strangers. It reminds me of a story I heard that I will post next about helping strangers.
This post is one of my favorite things to read each week. Please never stop expressing your feelings, never stop digressing, nothing is insignificant or off topic when it comes to talking with each other.
I have this contract running right now. I have something to do and it is very important for my future. It is something i have been working for fro 3 years and this morning i have messed my life up by not giving this thing back. First it is because it is not finished and second because when i do it i… am bloked, start crying.
why am i doing this to myself?
We are all walking together, that s a fact..and i love all of you -you are the great rivers that i encounter in my path- that make me more strong..
Thank you Mr Paulo , cause like the water that flows through the mountains and goes on its way, despite all the rocks it encounters – problems, mistakes, circumstances, faults- you ‘pushed’ me to find myself and be that water…
Love you all
Annie
I have often made pacts with myself to stick to my principles even when it becomes clear that victory could easily be mine by forsaking them. In the short term I always seem to be losing out but the rewards are great.
Love and compassion are far greater victories than those our egos think are important.
Love to all
Sue