Browsing blogs I found this interesting question based on one of my books The Valkyries.
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible,” she insisted.
Have you ever made this pact?
A promise to not to win when victory is possible
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The pleasure of giving
Is it the battle within; or in the world outside?………. What if you are fighting the wrong battle ?
1)What if you are sure that you have done this pact..but you don’t remember exactly when and what you have said???How you will know that you have terminate a contract? That you are released..?
2)And something else…is it propriate to ask my self why I have done this?Can I find this answer?
I don’t know why I need this answer but it doesn’t feel right to searching the “why”…haha
Thanks for being here for me, every time that I am ready to take the next lesson and exactly the time I am asking the right questions! Every the right time! Also thank you because you are awaking people!… ;-)
Greetings and Love from Greece! :-) <3 Rafaela
I want to explain when I said “I loved a man for 20 years” it doesn’t necessarily means we were in a relationship. I loved him because he was the one, he was the half I knew I was looking for, but I couldn’t be with him. He belongs to someone else. But he remained in my heart as a special light.
I was in love for 20 years with a man. I didn’t know he had magical powers. I had the chance to hurt him and I was given the opportunity to win and defeat him, but out of love, I chose not to. Then, he took the chance and destroyed me, he destroyed my self esteem, almost ruin my marriage, and sent me to the dark. I am still paying the consequences of that defeat. He is still trying to make me pay. Because my love was pure and true, he hated me. I forgive him every day. I no longer have feelings for him, I can’t, not because I don’t want to but because everytime I think of love about him something bad happens to me. So,I don’t. I don’t regret deciding not to win, when the victory was possible. I am still trying to find my new path in life.
Ultimamente penso muito nisso .Eu sei que a vitória é possível , mas existem alguns dias que parece que é impossível conseguir vencer .
Desistir isso tenho certeza que nunca vai acontecer . Estou muito convicto de que eu nunca irei desistir, mesmo que eu pague um alto preço por isso .Por que eu já pensei como seria minha vida se eu desistisse .
Se por um lado eu sofro por não estar conseguindo , por outro lado eu sofreria mais ainda se eu desistisse .
Eu já descobri algumas coisas muito importantes que me servirão de aliadas para minha busca .Hoje eu já não penso ” como será ?,o que eu vou sentir quando eu alcançar o que eu tanto busco ?” hoje eu penso ” como eu vou conseguir ? de qual modo posso tentar mais uma vez ?, o que eu posso fazer de novo ? ” Acho que isso já é um grande avanço para mim .
Às vezes tenho medo de ser uma luta que não me levará a nenhum lugar . Vou conseguir conhecimento , mas talvez não vou conseguir alcançar o que eu quero .
O Fato/Prisioneiros da Necessidade –
É estranha esta expressão popular: “macaco velho não bota a mão em cumbuca” – comentei um dia com um amigo.
- Mas tem lógica – respondeu ele – Na Índia, os caçadores abrem um pequeno buraco num coco, colocam uma banana dentro, e enterram-no.
O macaco se aproxima, pega a banana, mas não consegue tira-la – porque sua mão fechada não passa pela abertura.
Ao invés de largar a fruta, o macaco fica lutando contra o impossível, até ser agarrado pelos caçadores.
Então pensei que o mesmo se passa em nossas vidas.
A necessidade de ter determinada coisa – às vezes algo pequeno e inútil – faz com que terminemos prisioneiros dela.
Talvez eu não consiga , mas nunca vou desistir . Não vejo outra forma de felicidade além dos meus sonhos . Mesmo que morra prisioneiro deles eu não abro mão .
It is about not feeling worthy of the victory in hand. The belief that miracle or winning is next to impossible, one continues with living this pact. And even though one puts so much of life in it, sometimes we are standing so near to the victory, yet we are afraid to take that last step, thinking that ultimately we will lose and all we will be left with is a broken dream ,whereas, the reality is just the opposite of it..Break the pact, feel worthy of it and complete the journey…
mi piace..
During Indian wedding, a game is played where a ring is submerged in milk and the newly wedded couple are asked to retrieve it. The winner is the person who snatches it first. The popular belief is that the person who wins will eventually dominate the relationship. However, it is perfectly clear that the real message is :
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible”.
I can understand it, as of now, theoretically.This is practically possible when one transcends ones limitations in all ways possible.
Then, winning or not winning is a choice one can exercise.A game one can play and enjoy it in all its hues.
Cheers
B
multiple factors define that. If one is participating with a firm notion of not to win then it is not a competition. one side game cant decide winner of healthy competition or it could be that result doesnt motivate the competitor to fight for it.
On individual ground (sometimes) it can be possible, but never when you are contesting for larger intrest.
Is this not the essence of marriage vows? Is this not love? The key to a lasting relationship? I choose not to win regularly and more and more each day that I learn how precious every moment that we are given with those we love is. I will consider the ability to do this in my children as an indicator of my success as a parent. To chose not to win when victory is possible…. This is mercy, love and humanity.
I think it would take tremendous self confidence, strength, and Love to fulfil this Promise. Hope that we would all be able to make that choice when presented the opportunity.
A promise to not to win when victory is possible ……… it for surely depends on the situation plus the reason for not winning it.. =))
no…it`s not possible to make any such pact or promise; not to win.becoz survival depends directly upon the level of satisfaction reached through the feel of winning.then, it`s the dynamism of mind and a particular kind of thought process that let`s u believe any fact: a fact that you are doing something not to win.
but the things may turn out different from a different perspective…. like any consistent act of loosing from some one may be an act of winning in context of consistent stand to loose, which can directly be ralated to gains in term of varying length of time.thus fulfilling the essential criteria of satisfaction in life
The Valkeries is about making a pact and breaking that pact in the search for your angel. Perhaps Paulo is trying to get us to question our pacts in order to make new choices- to step out of our comfort zones, face our fear change and of growth and of winning if that is the pact that has been made. I have some pacts that it might be time to break.
It hurts ego when you lose, but it is another type of loss when you win!
I need to understand the quote in its full meaning :S
YES! I renew this contract everyday when I wake up, its like there is so much turbulence within me that not doing things that will help me live my potential has become very regular to me,
SOLO CREO QUE SE TIENE QUE HACER ESTO CUANDO SE HA HECHO UN PACTO PARA FAVORECER A UN NECESITADO O CUANDO GANAR NO ES LA SOLUCION TAL VEZ PERDER ES LA CONSIGNA TODO DEPENDE DE LO QUE NUESTRO CORAZON QUIERA EN REALIDAD DE LO QUE LO HAGA MAS FELIZ PAULO TE AMO MUCHO
If the reason and motivation for the decision to win or lose is to express complete love in a form that only self could understand, but else will be the full benefit of, then the motivation is pure, and the promise can be understood to be unfailingly correct.
yes, silently. if you are in such a position to promise not to win – even if victory is possible – it means you have already won. and may be you want to turn it into a win-win situation.
sometimes, you gotta lose some to win some even if you’re at the edge of victory
Before reading the Valkyries I had a different interpretation on this quote. Now I understand what you meant by “a promise not to win when victory is possible”.. I can help but think of all the times that I too have sabotage myself when I have been very close to “winning”. Either driven by fear,my insecurities or just foolishness. Yes, I have made this promise/contract subconciously and have kept myself from achieving my full potential and happiness.. thank you for helping me become aware of this vicious form of self abused
I don’t agree with the quote that very much. Not winning when victory was possible made me into a weakminded person with low self-esteem in games for many years. For some years I played games with a person that couldn’t handle loosing. If I won to easily, he would quit playing the game, which would mean that I wouldn’t enjoy the game. So I played for fun, changing my skills in order to match his skill, in order to not beating him too easily. In the end he won more games than me, not because he was the better gamer but because I didn’t have it in me to win.
And I don’t agree with the quote when the tables are turned. When I play games I feel that it is patronizing to me if the other player doesn’t win when victory is possible to him. When that happens I feel like a second grade person instead of a respected opponent. Even if I eventually win I know in the back of my head that I won at the mercy of my opponent, which ruins my victory.
But otherwise the quote may be true. Though you normally get what you want by winning, sometimes you have to lose in order to get what you want.
It may seem simple, but to me it means you stop learning when you win. It’s a false victory, because there is infinite outcomes.
Sim, o medo de não saber o que fazer com o que conquistamos é tão grande ou maior do que o medo de não conquistarmos, aí inconscientemente acabamos nos sabotando e terminamos achando que a vida é injusta, pois lutamos tanto por algo e de repente aquilo nos é tirado. Mas esquecemos que fomos nós os responsáveis pela derrota.
Yes.
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