Browsing blogs I found this interesting question based on one of my books The Valkyries.
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible,” she insisted.
Have you ever made this pact?
A promise to not to win when victory is possible
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I read “The Valkyries” and I remember this line very clearly. I guess that it’s a pact but who has a gain from it?
Not wanting to win when victory is possible sounds so strange but still so real… It depends on what is there to win.
It can be the case when you take part in a race, just for the sake of the game, not necessarily wanting to win. This doesn’t have bad effects. And there is another case, when you are not courageous and motivated enough to win, when you know it’s possible but still, it implies too much effort and you are not willing to do that. This is the situation of spiritual search, I believe, when people think that evolving implies too much hard work, because it is easier to destroy than to construct and to criticize others than to do the respective thing by yourself the way you want others to do it for you.
It seems that perfection is a very remote dream and only those who are very determined and brave can get closer to it every single day, overcoming all the inevitable obstacles in the way because they know that no matter how long it is, any road starts with a step, any ladder seems just an endless possibility if you are not willing to do the first move and then continue with another one and so on.
People would prefer to evolve but to do somebody else the hard work for them; this is not the way things go forward, and even if they seem to go backwards sometimes, they still go forwards! :-)
Burdens can become feathers if you start counting them one by one, instead of seeing their whole volume. Who said that it would be easy anyway? Life imposes some sacrifices but later they are transformed into blessings, if you have the patience to see the results of what you have planted, you will be pleasantly surprised by the results! I am convinced that God loves sincere, selfless and determined people and offers them all sorts of blessings sooner or later! ;-)
All my appreciation and respect, including for the wonderful stories in the latest issue of “The Warrior of the Light” online magazine… Thank you so much, dear Sir! :-)
Lots of love and hugs,
Carmen Larisa
P.S. I liked “The Pilgrimage” infinitely more than “The Valkyries,” maybe because those women were so strange, they seemed more devilish to me than angelic… Anyway, I love the sincerity of your writing, even though this implies revealing intimate things from your life and from your dear wife’s too; I am coinvinced that it is not always easy and pleasant, but at least your words express reality and this is wonderful, wanting to reveal your soul in front of so many people, your readers, I greatly admire that!
Namaste!
thank u , i needed to read this
Although many desire to win, victory can sometimes be so close that its nearly suffocating. In this moment some fear the realization of their goals and freeze until winning is no longer possible. Many call this cowardly, I believe it can sometimes be courageous. If a person cannot manage their success then they may not be ready to succeed. It takes a brave person to realize he/she is not ready and that there is still more to learn. Sometimes we need to take a step back in order to take bigger and more steps forward. Consequently, losing when winning is possible is sometimes necessary for the further personal advancement of that person.
I have never personally chose to lose when winning was possible; yet I acknowledge that not doing so may be a direct cause of much of my immature nature. Not only can losing when winning is possible benefit myself, it can benefit others who’s time to shine, while more well deserved, has always been clouded by others selfish intentions.
I feel it is vital for everyone to sometimes lose when winning is possible because, when success is finally realized, it will be far more rewarding, meaningful, and will further contribute in developing yourself into a more complete individual.
Dear 2bwritten,
Yes…to sacrifice, to die,…to save the world from sin. But..I don’t think that God wants us to die or sacrifice. Like in this movie: “Brother sun, sister moon” about St. Francis; when St. Francis says that God asks each of us only those things we can handle and serve the world in the name of love.
“Love one another as yourself”; that’s the greatest commandment of all, because… God is love.
love
Agnieszka
Maybe that’s the pact that Jesus made with God. How then, does this inform the way we ought to live our lives? Does anyone have any thoughts?
I don’t know…
Maybe, I guess…
But Trina… broke that pact for me…
~~~
Yeah, I did make that pact.
…
Because it feels so lonely to be up there all alone…
In the words of The Corrs:
“don’t want tot wake up alone anymore”
In my opinion winning is all for the ego, so if we come from ego we will never make that pact because ego will always want to win.
On the other hand if our goal is to grow as spiritual beings than we will make pacts not to win all the time, for in that case winning is not important but being humble and appreciating the experience.
When the time comes in which the experience is not serving us anymore, then is time to move on. This is most of the times more difficult in love relationships than anything else, for fear of being alone seems to be humanities worst enemy. We cannot let the fear be our master, we always need to chose love…
Blessings to all…
When I feel that winning does more good to the other party and they need it more than I do, to gain more confidence in themselves, I have knowingly not given my best.
In fact, now that I think of it, I do this a lot.
I guess it is to do with growing up and living with people who have a short temper and a very strong will – people who cannot handle losing. It is better to agree to their will rather than fight over every meaningless little thing, cos to them these things are not little.
But at the same time, when I feel something is important and worth fighting for, I am very persistant and will not give up. Especially if my winning means that the other party will learn from the combat and the losing situation, rather than it destroying their confidence and will to try again.
Pacts are sometimes about winning and losing ,or giving yourself to it or letting it go ..but when it does not go our way it is for a very good reason …and this in turn gives us more empowerment and can set us free.
The best pacts are those made with the Father ,son and Holy spirit ..trust the outcome positive or negative and give thanks that this is how it is ,bless it and just be .
Soon or later we all see the bigger picture .
Blessings Tania
Great story Derek,
and… true what you wrote Paul, the light should be spread..
love
Agnieszka
So many times.
This is first a lack of confidence in oneself and blindness.
We know now many ways of breaking pacts. First to recognize it. And what is a pact?
A pact is like a piece of paper, on which we would sign a big yes. It gives enthousiasm first, and lasts or dicrease.
Sometimes we sign, without knowing why we are doing. But just because it makes us happy. Because it is new.
Sometimes, we sign a big no, just because one person told us, we’d be unable to win. And we let one of our gift alone. For a while. Or forever.
When we have a dream, we want to reach it. So we want to win. Love helps us to, and love is the journey as the victory.
It happens we can’t move anymore, we can’t make any decisions still. We can feel we are closer to death that before. But it is only a new door to open, to feel lighter. It depends on the way we’re able to see it.
A pact is just a sign at the end of a paper, we can burn whenever we want.
But one has to know why he interrupted a gift to grow. Something maybe too easy to play and figure as a work, with certainty.
…why he seeks for taking energy from others, since he knows it will only make him happy for a time.
In himself he fights. In himself, he goes to search energy. That one he can only make light forever. In himself, he goes to know why his fruits are so poor, in regards with his first dreams.
There, he sees all the pacts he signed “yes”, though he felt the contrary. He realized he listened more to others, than his inner voice.
So, he breaks pacts, and sign new ones.
Ones that answer to his gift(s). His.
Your story is merely funny Derek, thank you.
I send you all my love.
“We have a contract, you and I : not to win when victory is possible,” she insisted.”
I absoultely agree, and I have made this pact with my husband. We have agreed there should be no winners in a marriage. In relationships sometimes “when you win, you lose”
Ok, so here is my story…maybe it will make some sense to some people.
“A man was walking down the street when he fell into a very large, very deep hole. Looking around he could find no way. He looked up and saw a doctor walking by:
The man called up to the doctor and said, “Doctor, I am stuck in this hole, can you help me out”.
The doctor took out a pen and pad and wrote down a prescription and dropped it down the hole to the man.
Next the man saw a priest walking by. “Hey father, I am stuck down in this hole, can you help me out? he yelled up the priest.
The priest look down, said and prayer for him and continued walking.
Next the man saw and old friend walking walking by. “Hey buddy, I am stuck down in this hole, can you help me out”.
His buddy looked down, and quickly jumped into the hole with him.
“Great” the man said, “now we are both stuck down in this hole”.
“Yes” said his friend, “but I have been in this hole before, and I know the way out”.”
Paul, I would actually hope that the point of this site is to encourage us to digress at times. I love coming here and seeing all the different answers and thoughts regarding the same question.
I do not think it is that anyone here is right or wrong, it is that these questions are very though provoking and often we all look at them a little different. We bring our own backgrounds and life expirences to our responses. Even our moods that given day influence how we look at these questions.
That of course leads to more personal discussions regarding what we are all going through in our lives. It is an amazing connection that we form here and it is great to see the support given from other to perfect strangers. It reminds me of a story I heard that I will post next about helping strangers.
This post is one of my favorite things to read each week. Please never stop expressing your feelings, never stop digressing, nothing is insignificant or off topic when it comes to talking with each other.
I have this contract running right now. I have something to do and it is very important for my future. It is something i have been working for fro 3 years and this morning i have messed my life up by not giving this thing back. First it is because it is not finished and second because when i do it i… am bloked, start crying.
why am i doing this to myself?
I have often made pacts with myself to stick to my principles even when it becomes clear that victory could easily be mine by forsaking them. In the short term I always seem to be losing out but the rewards are great.
Love and compassion are far greater victories than those our egos think are important.
Love to all
Sue
The ability not only to make that pact,but especially to keep it at all cost is the first step towards finding enlightenment in the times we live in.
We need to stop being defined by the ills of this post-postmodern age in order for us to be able to develop the skills we require to deal with them. We feed too much on the ills of our world.
You’re welcome Paul, I am so happy for you,
and..that you thought of me.
and..yes…because of Paulo…we’re here, and we’re becoming a better people…thank You Paulo.
love
Agnieszka
strange that I too may have made such a pact, but then how to recognise for sure and how to break the pact !
love
aditya
Each and every person who has ever lived has made such a pact one time or another..thinking its enough trying something, and not just striving for victory in it, what ever way that might be..
We do such pacts bcoz we dont want to feel bad bcoz we never tried something..we want to be able to say: “i tried..i honestly did, but it didn’t work out”
so we do pacts to avoid winning, even though that means losing but for the sake of feeling it wasn’t in our hands and we did all we could…
I could go on and on about this and other things, but since its 2:12 am here, I won’t
Good night all :)
It’s not good to be too confident. We can never be 100% sure in winning any batle. Never understimate oponent or a situation. I think that we can learn something even if winning is “guaranteed”.
But also we should always try to have higher goals.
Love
Tanja:)
Paulo:
How are you dear?
…
Pacts, sometimes are made in an unconscious manner. Its always important to honor all levels of consciousness, due to this fact is wise to start the day saying: “From now on… all pacts that can delay my process or are negative are extinguished. I am renewed and always changing to a new and more positive aspect of myself”
Love and Victory ALWAYS in easy ways and in difficult ways…
Because living lies in the journey, not the destination.
Love to all x
This pact really bothers me! I can only think of one situation in my life that I had the opportunity to make it and I passed it by. My sister was competing against me and my other sister. She was down because she couldn’t ever win. I decided not to let her when because if someone let me when something, it really wasn’t a win, and it would probably feel worse than a loss.
We all made this agreement with the Creator before we were born. One view is that “victory” symbolically means living out our karma. To learn all the necessary lessons we have to learn would bring us back to the Creator in another form. As we redefine “winning” all the time, the rules of this game of human life are changing by choice.
Thank you Karen.
Love
All Ways
Hildegarde
- like boots – made for walking.
PS The message is in the Universal Language.
Ah, this comes close to true Victory;
such a pact should definitely be made at some point or another.
Dear Stacey,
I’ve read this somewhere, but it seems so wise, hope it might help a little:
“remember, this too will pass, whatever it is…”
love
Agnieszka
Anlao,
Are you sure you liked him. I saw the guy I thought I liked last year, I’m already laughing. He’s marrying a 19 year old, and he’s not educated, gotten fat,…
“What was I thinking???” I didn’t even know him, I do now! He’s “that guy.” Come to find out he was hitting on my best friend two weeks before he even proposed. My point is, you have to know what you want to win it.
He’s such a coward he even had his friend mess with me. Thank God, he prefers teenagers to adults!:)
Having a conscience, distinguishes whether actions are right or wrong. Also by having honor.
Thank you,Derek.seems we are thinking almost in the same way.Take care,love
What I’ve learned is that when someone’s not working with a full deck, stay away!!!!! Move if you have to, they only bring you down. They are more messed up than you coud have EVER imagined!
Dear Raj,
Thank you, it’s good to be in the company of such a warrior as yourself. God bless you too.
love
Agnieszka
Dearest warriors,
Paul, Agnieszka, Elleni and especilly Annie. All of you are the real and exist warriors at present.I salute you all. May your journey be bless.
sincerely
Dear Paul,
I wish you a beautiful journey, so every step would be a moment of joy, moment of your life.
love
Agnieszka
P.S. Don’t feel bad about your english, we all make mistakes, and are confused many, many times.
Thank you for being here.
Annie, its seems I may be going through a similar thing that you have described in your comment. All I can is put myself down, time are tough when you don’t believe in yourself. but you are right, hope that it will pass is what carries me through and believing that maybe we are already on some sort of path?! I always hear that it is the people in life who have it hard that often know how to appreciate the little things in life. I have always been one of the lucky ones with few problems, then all of sudden i was a little bit older with of this crap on my plate, no one to turn to and a basically a big mess. its easy to blame yourself i suppose, and i often do, i do think we make our own fate, but, you are right, no one can do it alone, even if it is in the form of someone elses words over a computer screen…… :-)
I think that the quote speaks to the true spirit of successful entrepreneurship. When two partners (or competitors) are in their best form, they enrich everybody’s lives… having a winner would only serve to degrade the overall quality.
I find this to be a very thought provoking question, there are so many ways to look at this, so many situations to use this on.
Right now my mind is focused on the end goal of what you are doing. Is the goal simply to win? Or are you more concerned with how you win, what you win, and why you are trying to win.
I think sometimes in life we are presented with easy victories, ones that seem to take little effort but at the same time serve no real purpose in our lives. Therefore, we won those only because we could, not because we really wanted to.
I think the search, the journey has to be about more than just winning. It has to be about how you go about your life, not the end result. It has to be about why you are doing something, not just what you are doing.
Often times people loose site of the how and the why. The are so concerned with just the end goals in life that they are willing to do anything to acheive them. This is winning simply to win.
Winning is not always the right thing to do, especially if ultimatly it undermines your goals.
You’re right Paul…about the pact, and..I think I misunderstood you, when you related love to the question Paulo asked.
love
Agnieszka
Dear Annie,
“If neither your joys nor your sorrows will not become big, the world will become small”
Khalil Gibran
love
Agnieszka
and Paul..love is not also about earning..
love…is
love
Agnieszka
Yes.. Paul,
then who makes a pact when there’s love?
love
Agnieszka
yes i do make..especially when i feel that i am invincible or fat headed…that way i can come back to earth…
I think the meaning is: the sure victory leads us not to pleasure.Someone who is searching for challenges can not find provocation in a sure victory,like in a difficult fight.All depends on the person.Me ,I find much interesting if I get to the thing I desire in an honest and just way,and nowadays that can be very hard,and provoking.Anyway,i succed many times to be first,so,there is a God in the world.
Yes, with myself.
I always thought I should never let a man walk over me, that equality is an obvious thing, and before my last love trial I promised myself I will never lose in front of a man. My pride didn’t lose, but I ended up losing him and myself as a result.
My new contract with myself is that should I get another chance at love, I will not win. Even if I still end up losing him, at least I will not doubt my actions towards love.
Classical “if I win, I lose, and if I lose…maybe, just maybe we win” situation.
Dear Annie
You story touched me deeply. To some extent I have experienced a semilar experience like you. But Keep that hope, love and faith going beautiful God is near, and he is hearing you. Unfortunately this type of wounds take time to heal, just like they took long time to take over your beautiful soul to hate yourself. But i promise you beautiful cast all your cares unto Him the blessed Saviour, and he will take care of you. Say this prayer every time you wake up and before you sleep
“Lord grant me your Holy Sprit to love myself today and always and let Thy Holy Sprit shine on me through You”
Surrender all to The Blessed Saviour and surely He will take care of you.
Love you beautiful
God bless
Elley
Dear sweet Annie,
remember, those around us sometimes doesn’t know how to love. Maybe they weren’t love by their parents, maybe they are lost in their lives, maybe they are afraid. But there’s no reason for punishing yourself, for making your life miserable. God doesn’t want anybody to suffer.
I’ve been through so many terrible moments in my childhood, but…although I cried a lot, was so alone, I..never lost hope, I never lost faith, and I never..stopped believing that there will be a moment in my life that the sun will shine.
Please never, ever treat yourself as not worthy, not lovable, because you are so much more than that, YOU are a sweet, beautiful angel.
I mean it and I love you.
Sun will always shine for you as long as you live.
When you believe….miracle happens.
lots and lots of love
Agnieszka
Re: The Valkaries
Was there any suggestion that this was a “rewrite” of Genesis’ Flood story – i.e. God’s anger / disappointment with his creatures, His revenge, and then His regret at the carnage caused,, concluding with His promise/covenant never to do such a thing again??
I should appreciate any comment you might make.
Sincerely
Monica
Hmm..interesting…why would anyone make such a pact? If you don‘t want to win, why start?
If you want to listen to the music, why do not dance? If you want to see the ocean, why do not swim? If you have one step to the top of the mountain, why do not reach the summit?
“The rule of victory is to win.”
love
Agnieszka
What is victory? I have climb a mountain and stopped short of the summit, I have listened to music, but not danced, I gone to see the ocean but not swam.
I climbed the mountain for there was a summit to be reached, but the victory I had was the journey of self discovery I had. I listened to music but did not dance because it took me to a place in my memories. I went to the ocean and stopped short of swimming because its beauty overwhelmed me. These where not the victories I seek, but winnings I did not know existed until the journey took me on that path.
It was not a pact, but a coincidence. The rule of victory is to win, but that rule entails sacrifices. Sacrifices you will make because you make a contract to win!
… but I have never contemplated of a pact not to win, to stop look around and not progress to victory because of the consequences to myself or others. but that in itself would be a victory!
Dear Annie, I understand…and see you, the little girl Annie. She is precious gift. Thank you god, for Annie, for Paulo, and for all of us here.
Love, Love, Love, Jane : ) xo
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