May God help us through all tests that we have to live in this and other lifes!

Love Mirela

in my opinion the first and most important step towards real forgiveness – me considering this to be the only form of forgiveness which leads to freedom for my soul – is the insight that there is no guilt. Instead of guilt the person whom you want to forgive has shown braveness as this human being was willing to draw your attention to areas of potential growth. Of course this is much easier written than actually lived.

If you want to gather new perspectives regarding forgiveness I suggest that you read “Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle” by Colin C. Tipping.

I’ve learned that the only way to growth is your very own way, meaning that insights only are born inside yourself and by yourself. Other people can provide guidance and can open up new perspectives for you, the actual change has to be done by yourself.

Love

Günther

You must read Pinocho.

Love

I read your comment and recognized that we both are faced with a similar problem – perhaps the same problem. And I am looking for a solution since nearly three years.

Last week I bought a book, written by the DALAI LAMA with the titel ETHICS FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM. I also have read all books (all books published in the german language) written by Paulo Coelho and I often felt that I am comming near to a solution.

But the book of the Dalai Lama gave me more clearness. Also in this book the central point is “PATIENCE”, but it also gives more explanation and ideas how to live with the diappointment and the frustration, caused by other human beings.

I am feeling with you!

This doesn’t necessarily mean that the tragedy will come to an end, but for sure you react in a shorter time, you become a different person and you will have a new perceptions of life.

I have to say, I find it interesting that everything you share, your wisdom, often strikes at the heart of the problem and the soul for me. I have read most of your books, and each I have gained much from, and thank you for that.

I turned to your website tonight because I have in the past had issues from a close friend which has ended painfully and sorrowfully. I have mourned, I have been angry, I have sought counselling, I have talked to friends at great length, but have not been able to put the person away. We had a long and good history, but in the last few years, this person has done things that most people would shun. My friends have cautioned me from the very start about this person, and I’ve asked “What do my friends see about this person that I do not?”. I saw a person of great value and talent, someone I loved deeply, cared for immensely, would give anything for, someone I would have welcomed into my life forever. But at the same time, what this person did to me was wrong.

So, I feel torn. Part of me, and my friends and counselling share this view, that I should simply give up on this person and move on and cast him from my life forever, that we can’t be friends or anything anymore. But part of me loves this person deeply still, and would forgive this person if he came and showed remorse for his actions. I feel torn because on one hand I shouldn’t have him in my life, and on the other, I miss him terribly and every day.

So I turned to your website to send you an email asking for your wisdom, and the first page I see is this message on tragedy, and I absorbed the parts on what I can learn from this tragedy, and also on forgiveness. While it gives me no answer, I add more depth to the problem and hopefully it will lead me to the answer? This tragedy has led me to make huge changes in my life that have come great good from, changes that have benefited my career and family and future. So from your message I take that this tragedy that has befallen my friendship I need to learn from and take the inspiration it has given me and move with it. But the part that I also absorbed, the one on forgiveness, it puzzles me. How can I forgive him, if he shows no remorse for his actions? It is not that I don’t want to, but I just don’t know how. And I guess, there is also the fear about what the rest of my friends will say if I was to invite him into my life, because I have been burnt from him twice now, and I would feel stupid if I was burnt a third time.

So, what would you suggest? I guess I turn to you because I am tired of holding onto the anger and loss, but I don’t know how to let go. I want to live a life of higher love, but seem to be ruled by imperfection and doubt. Where do I go?