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Apparently the question of Lia provoked quite a lot of reaction and I have already been asked many times to write about same sex relationships. I’m not planning to write a column about this issue but in my new book “The Winner stands alone” I mention a relationship between two women.
I’m intrigued though and I would like for you to discuss openly about what you think about same sex relationships.
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I am religious but I’m also a biologist and an open-minded person. Here are my thoughts.
Biologically, same sex relationships are not meant to be. Species are meant to interact in a way to increase the chances of producing viable offspring and maintaining the species. With this logic, any behavior that is counter-productive to that goal will not last through the evolutionary process. No matter how long you may believe humans have been on Earth, it is usually just a dot in the timetable of evolution and therefore, one would expect that all homosexual behavior would, in the next million years, disappear. It is behavior that leads to no viable offspring and, in some cases, would be considered high risk to one’s own survival. Either way, those who choose to be in same sex relationships are okay, but if the activity becomes widespread, it could threaten the survival of the species.
Religiously, and I’m a Muslim, homosexuality is considered to be a sin and one that will be punished severely after death. On the other hand, my religion strongly encourages tolerance and discourages coercion. For this reason, I have many friends who are gay and I don’t question their lifestyle. They are free to make choices in their life and I’m free to make choices in mine. We need not interfere with each other’s choices.
Finally, I’d like to say that when it comes to issues like same sex relationships or abortion or any of these “ethical” stances we have to make, it is often best to leave everyone alone. Although I am a devout Muslim, I am staunchly pro-choice, because I believe that every woman should be allowed to make a decision on her own and I should not enforce my world view on others. Most people, I would hope, are very aware of the world around them and aware of the consequences of the decisions they make. Freedom of choice is essential; how else would we do anything?!
I too have used the Bible for guidance, but I must admit, I question some of its’ divine inspiration vs man-made rules.
ie If god gave them over to un-natural affairs, then isn’t god at fault ? though elsewhere in scripture we are told that god cannot do harm.
So, whether it’s un-natural or not, ‘god made me that way’ is good enough for me! and I will not condemn anyone, and IF i have to stand on judgement day (which I actually believe is everyday….) then I’d rather be accused of accepting lovingly too many people than ruling out who is in god’s favour or not…that’s not for me to decide.
God is in all, and is all.
He’s not a he, he’s not in a box with likes and dislikes, he’s not human, and is in every human.
Do not eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil = do not judge anything for being good or bad, right or wrong, god/life will be the judge, not I.
Incidentally, a child of age three once said to me out of the blue; I think women should be with women and men should be with men…..
now whether this meant just socially or not, doesn’t matter, this was a child with both parents and grown up siblings in the same unit.
Just a passing, innocent thought.
Love
xxxx
In the grand scheme of social evolution, I think that there is much that can be learnt and understood about human relationships that are not based in status, economics, gender even… and same sex relationships can often transgress these conventional categories and thus question the very basis of how manifested love is acceptable or ‘allowed’ to be demonstrated by the two consenting adults.
I always hope to admire the love between two people, the spark, the magic.. rather than condemn a couple for being ill-matched.
A lot of what I feel is contradictory, however, since as a Christian, I do believe in marriage as a bond between a man and woman.. and I feel this is God’s plan of procreation.
Love is above all the most important thing to consider and a healthy relationship integral to that… be it same sex or male-female.
Human evolution still has a long way to go and so I do not see the current (thereotical, legal et al) situation as having fully cemented the potential for human beings to demonstrate love as social beings.
Faith, Hope, Love… and the greatest of these is love.
Dear Busard and Alexandra,
How in a few words you gave me clearly what I wanted to epress !
Paulo again has hitt subject that (taboo or not) make us all want to give an answer.
I accept and respect differences but that is all.
Love,
Luce
hello Paulo,
I really like this topic. In my view love has no any genre, love is love and every type of that is right! love is a sublime thing, is the higher expression of a human being. We are million of people in the world and everyone of us has the right to love whatever he/she wants!
Saffo was lesbian and for her contemporaries it wasn’t a scandalous thing.. Be free to show who really we are and not who the society would like us to be.
love
nancy
I wanted to add, as I find it interesting, that people who speak out against gay relationships often say that it is because there will always be something missing from a gay relationship and aslo the importance of procreation.
As if all straight couples are happy and able to procreate. I think there is enough unhappiness in the world with out needing to attack people for finding love and happiness where ever it may be.
Live and let live, if someone is happy be happy for them and strive to find that happiness yourself where EVER you may find it.
Dear Paulo, i hope you’re fine !!!
I think when 2 Persons find thereselfs sexull attractive there must be a sense behind that and I dont understand how the Catholics or actually most of Society can adjudge that.
I once read in a Article that 92% of us Human Beings are Bisexuell,
Definitely I am as Man can admit that I can find a Man attractiv even I am not gay…
I think every Men should discover this Site of him to see those Things in perspective from the Women…How often it Happens that in a Women Toilet one Woman said to the other: Oh..i love your hair..or somethink like that…and there is no Intention for a sexuell Contact…
We as Men should not close ourselves from finding other Men attractive or even have sexuell fantasies…
On the other Hand me personally can not imagine to have a Relationsship with a Man because I think there would be somethink misssin…thats my oppinion and I respect others…But for me there Is no better feeling then the feeling to fall asleep at the end of the Day beside A Woman…
Much Love !!!
I want to add that in University teacher tought us not to dicriminate people,on no reason.But almost all students disagree.The teacher that ere suspect of being gay,were always laughed at.What striked me was the reat number of homosexual writers,like Baudelaire,Virgina Woolf,Oscar Wilde.Nevertheless,I pitty them.And we know they had an unhappy life.
Judging by the experience of my homosexual mates, I come to the conclusion that some people have same sex relationships because of their profound disillusion in the opposite sex. One time (or more than one time) in their life, they have been hurt, betrayed, abandoned; and their loss seems to be so great, their fear and rage are so intense, their wound is so painful that they choose to be on the safe side. In most cases, a human being needs someone to be by his/her side; the desire to love and to be loved is very strong in us. So, there is a solution for such shipwreck people: to have a relationship with a representative of their own sex, which is safer, because they know them, or at least they think they know them, better.
Of course, there are other reasons, such as being genetically predestined. However, I’ve never met anyone of this type. My “homosexual” aquiantances are these deeply hurt and scared people who can’t get over their past experience and believe again in the opposite sex. They convinced themselves of being homosexual.
We are living in a dual world, and each of us have a feminin part, and , in the same time, the masculin one. It depends which one is stronger. I am very tolerant with this . I only don’t like too much noise.
I have been in a same sex relationship and getting there wasn’t easy. I never expected I’d find myself in such a situation.But then, I am a person who’d always say “I’d try anything once” — trying was easy, what was difficult was living with the decision, fighting for it and standing by it. I was faced with many questions, the morality of it, the consequences, the stigma.I was then faced with the decision of shying away from what I was feeling and protect myself from the social stigma of what the relationship would inevitably bring or pursuing and fighting for what I find and feel to be beautiful regardless of the consequences. I chose the latter.
It wasn’t an easy path. I became the talk of my little town. I’d hear snippets of other people’s talks …that what I’m doing is immoral, that its a pity that a successful woman would turn out like this, that perhaps its because I can’t find a man that I turn to women instead. My family was not spared of course — how could they consent to what I was doing? They’d say. To the extent that my father’s temper blew up, that in a fit of fury that destroyed most of our house’s furnitures he yelled: “I’d rather see you pregnant with a loafer than see you living with that lesbian.” Those days of fighting for love and for that relationship saw me at my worst and also at my best emotional state. I was either extremely happy or extremely sad.But I never regretted it. First, perhaps through my fight I am able to empower others to fight too…not to be ashamed and not to hide.Second, We were in love and we were happy, I just couldn’t see anything wrong with that. Third, I learned that Love manifests itsef in many ways, even in ways I do not expect.
I opted to share this story to show that its difficult for us too. That it takes a lot of courage to get into this kind of relationship, stick with it, fight for it in the open. I know there will always be moral issues and discrimination against same sex relationships, but given Jesus’ attitude towards the outcasts of his society, would he turn the likes of us away?
Nobody in this world has the right to judge love, NOBODY!. Love is different for everyone. Love causes happiness and pain for both homosexuals and heterolsexuals and who in the world created rules for what is right or not, who knows what is in everyones soul when they feel love?. God does not exist, I have never seen him, he has never talked to me. It is easy to swallow and believe just because, people don’t ask questions anymore, they just preach and when you ask them who is God and where did he come from and how do you know he exists???……….the respond is……he just is. Really???, but the creation of the world does have an explanation research it, ask more questions. Anatomically, yes we are designed to be with the opposite sex, but we’re talking about LOVE, not procreation. Same sex relationships are quite fine for me. Love is beautiful.
That’s why I like that site so much it breaks down all barriers,
religious, races, ages and genders.
The soul reaches out to everybody no matter.
Respeito às diferenças:
Lidar com as diferenças, com preconceitos, enfim, com tudo o que se julga diferente ou “anormal” sempre foi um desafio para a raça humana.
O amor incondicional é o verdadeiro amor, é o sentimento mais sublime que existe, porque você aceita o outro sem pedir nada em troca, do jeitinho que ele é, sem se deixar levar pelas aparências.
O amor incondicional é aquele que respeita a condição do outro, seja ele homossexual ou não. O amor de verdade deixa a pessoa ser o que ela é, proporcionando liberdade de ser e estar no mundo…
Esse, talvez, possa ser um desafio que Deus deu ao homem: aceitar uns aos outros assim como são… E isso é algo tão difícil… Mas não impossível, afinal, é uma forma sublime de amor e de aceitação.
It does not matter to me, at all, who a person decides to love.
Sometimes the whole thing of gay and lesbians make me laugh, and I think…whatever… Then when a person, who has chosen a committed same sex relationship, makes as wonderful music as Elton John, it makes me keep my mouth shut, about a topic I don’t know much about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIJIBo9bJk0
Let me only say this. I believe, as for a lot of prostitutes, a lot of gay and lesbians, have been exposed to gruesome sexual abuse when they grew up. I’ve listened to MANY such abuse stories, and if anybody can find love in same sex relationship, who cannot find it anywhere else, I’m happy for them.
Dear Paulo
I think that what counts is that they are happy together.
Like every other individual, they have to be respected, and treated equally. Sadly, it isn’t always the case.
I like to see people happy together, and I don’t judge them any differently because of their sexual orientation (or anything else).
It’s wonderful when 2 people find happiness.
Bless your heart Paulo & fellow fans
Best wishes
It has been said “if you stand for nothing you will fall at anything.”
Being able to communicate with out being accused of judging is a challenge in our over-politically correct society. I personally have not mastered the art of apologetics, but no matter, here is my contribution – here is what I stand for as relevant to the question posed on same sex relationships:
The Bible is my foundation and in it are the categories of truth canonized as the Word of God. Don’t stop reading my post because I bring up the Bible! It has both weight and promise to it. Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God”. God has passed judgment on both sin and the sinner. Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death (the weight of which I spoke); but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (the promise).” And how a person receives eternal life is outlines in Romans 10:9-13. — it’s good, read it!
What the Bible teaches about same sex relationships is in Romans 1:18-28. I won’t quote all of it here but I do encourage those who ponder the subject of same sex relationships to look to the Scriptures as to what the mind of God is on the subject and not just what makes us feel good – for love is more than a feeling, and not just what the masses are believing and doing – for we each will stand alone before the Lord (Rev 20:12,13).
Same sex relationships are unnatural and have been around since the beginning of time – but that doesn’t make it right. I often don’t like to use the word “right” because morally it may be a question of “right or wrong” but truly there is a bigger question – one of “life and death”.
(You’ve read this far, keep reading – almost through!)
Read Romans 1:18 – 28 and there you will see the life and death issue clearly. “For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet…”
Back to my opening statement “if you stand for nothing you will fall at anything.” On the subject of same sex relationships, I stand for God’s truth not my own. It’s huge. I don’t believe we will see the end of the matter in this life time. I do believe it will be a huge part in the down fall of nations and societies all over the globe.
Thanks for reading.
Hi Paulo,
I just read one of your books and just learned about you. I will be reading more. I came to your website because I just wanted to tell you “I Love You”. You are a gift to this world.
I don`t judged wemens who love wemens and mans who love mans!
I just feel compasion to them!
Because they can not procreate together and is corect like that!
It meens a very big responsability to gide a child in this life as natural parents,to integrate both parts feminin and masculin in a quite healthy balance in just one body and mind .
And it is often a drama that many couples don`t achive this result.
Thats why, I think, many people on the erth are in this life confuz of who they are!? More woman or more man…?But I don`t judge them because they strugle in beeing in the same sex relationship,and take so many risk to find out through this experience:to love and be loved ,to suffering,to feel peace and happiness.We all are in the same boat!We all want to develop !
Every path is the right one for every individum if we trust in God !
Love
Mirela(the woman in elevator)
Para mi la relación entre dos personas que tienen el mismo sexo es aceptada y respetada sabiendo que cada cual es libre para elegir con quien quiere estar y si la química les ha llevado a sentirse atraidos y hasta amados quienes somos nosotros para prohibir el amor que surge entre dos sean de la raza que sea o del sexo que sean.
Un beso Paulo.
We have been ‘scared off’ speeking out against great evils by political correction. Same sex relationships are an offence to God. They focus people’s attention on physical ‘pleasure’ and crush them spiritually.
It wouldn’t surprise me if even you sensor this view. WHERE IS FREEDOM OF THOUGHT; FREEDOM OF SPEECH?
I think it is irrelevant when love is there.
And is not unnatural, is the majority but is not against nature. A silly but true example: I had 2 lovebirds as pets, both them of the same sex. They loved each other, they had relations, and when one of them died the other one died the next day.
What would you do if you son/daughter tells you that is gay? Would you stop loving him/her? Would you judge she/her? Would you think she/him is ill?
Just think about it.
I have some friends who are gay, and what I admire more of them is their coherence and their clear choice on what they are doing. They have more peace that many others who are heterosexual but live lifes that are not their lives.
Regards & big hug for all.
Faca com o outro aquilo que voce quer que seja feito com voce. sendo assim, vale tudo!
hola Paulo en verdad no puedo esperar a q tu nuevo libro salga en español. ya lo quiero leer. por lo de la pregunta yo pienso q todos somos libres de amar a caulquier persona q nuestro corazon nos dicte.
saludos
Ismael
I was raised by two women who had a relitonship with one another.
It was the late ’40s through the ’60s.
They were both very unhappy and had failed relationships with men that, I suspect, was a driver away from men and acceptance of men and toward one another.
As a child I met friends of their’s who had mixed sexual features so, nature can confuse the issue in the body.
I did not grow up with healthy perspectives on gender, sexuality or relationship because the matrix of the ‘family’ was confused, distorted and dysfunctional.
I hope that, as people of same-sex orientation find more freedom to pursue their relationships, those distortions and dysfunctions can fall away and those same people can realize what some posters have suggested, that the ability to have true relationships founded on love and respect can be realized.
However, sexual relationships in the modern world are more conditioned on distortion based on self-aggrandizement, gratification and even exploitation regardless of whether they are hetero- or homo- sexual relationships, in my opinion. And they are driven as much by media and culture as they are the interanl workings of the soul.
What are the true meanings to be a man or a woman, are not based on how we have sex.
The inner workings of the heart and soul should be what defines our relationships and our capacity to experience love, not based on the groin.
I find that my suppositions on what live is have changed as I have grown and dropped many of my past perspectives on life, myself, and spirituality. The dream of romance, for example, clouded on relationship so badly that I lost the sense of who I was ‘loving’. The capacity for ‘sexual frenzy’ also became something obscuring my humanity, and the humanity of others.
The capacity for one to love another transcends sexual distinctions, and if it leads to sexual gratification, so be it. Sex can be a divine dance expressing that love, but, in the end, that too passes away and what we are left with is how we treat each other.
I think that there are unnatural things, things that should be taboo, that we do with one another, but it is only my choice not to go those ways.
For example, I cannot think of my daughters in a sexual way because of some interanl link to them I experience in my relationship to them. I can’t explain that, I can only experience that.
I don’t think abortion is right, either, the penalty is too stiff on the unborn yet people have to make choices and sometimes to bring a child into the world where they will suffer abuse, degradation, poverty, hunger, lovelessness doesn’t seem right either and I am grateful I don’t have to make that choice.
To say that homosexualtiy is unnatural because it doesn’t produce children is, likewise, a moot point in the context of whether people can experience a healthy relationship, period.
My marriage wasn’t right. We are able to have a decent and constructive relationship now but then it was mutually dysfuncitonal. Therefore I find that I admire same sex couples of maturity, respect and cooperation.
I am single now and plan to stay that way yet find that my capacity to love grows as I live a life based on spirualtiy, acceptance and surrender to the presiding divinity of the cosmos, whoever he, she, it or they may be… So, really, I don’t give a damn anymore.
I dont want to offend no one.But I think is a tragedy for a woman not to be loved by a man,and viceversa.I dont think is a relation ship that can be complete the one between same sex.Something will be always missing.Not talking about sufference caused by environment,people around.I think persons that do that ,relations with same sex have great problems and would be never able to feel the extreme joy of a normall relaion.
I wait not to be a nuisance with such a dispersed commentary
Well, I seem to remember that ‘Charles Darwin’ on his theories of evolution and species story that an individual has primary and mechanical stage to do:
0.Born 1.Life 2.Eat 3. Sleep 4.Procreate 5.Dead
More or less.
Like any species we have evolved mentally and physically, our
Sexuality is in accordance with our rules and society.
Sex is not just part of us, if not a principle and a basic stage of
individual, sex is pleasure and procreation, is a powerful social form.
I like it as “Woody Allen” described the sex, “sex more dirty is, more better is.”
Would not be appropriate to say that everyone is free to develop their sexuality as like it, because we all understand differently and personnel.
That is why think it’s better not to judge, but neither do sex as something more than that is, the search for pleasure (experience) or the fact of procreate, or love.
We should all say about sex and educate uncovering all her modesty and borderless nature, but with mutual respect, without offense.
Or as Parents think of sexual development of their children,
explaining, educating about the nature and taboo.
I loved the comments by the evolving sex with the writer in his book, Frank McCourt in “Angela’s Ashes.”
As our knowledge is broader than the more we grow, succeed
distinguish between the pleasure and the act of reproduction and determine which sex is a science, see it as Sexpedia like Kamsutra.
I believe that the taboo is to limit your creativity and your erotic language body with your partner, each partner has its own erotic games, only they should and decide to explore the limits of the act.
The taboo was perhaps a model for abolishing certain differences or trends sex, such as incest, masochism, homosexuality, the removal of
clitoris to women in Arabia, or the same “Burdha” to be kept.
There is a tribe, which not know the name, which has an old tradition, the man of the house must to penetrate and fertilize all their sons, giving them the power of ejaculation and they accept it.
And then known as the extremes of Holland and their sex windows and meat pleasure.
On the other hand we know homosexual relations that in Greece or in history, homosexuality under certain civilizations.
I remember the movie “Alexander Magno.”
On the psychological side think anyone can love or find your soul
twin in both sexes, before realizing the meaning of Love, Passion, or Friendship, to make a decision on how to structure their social ties.
In any case in many other species are known homosexual traits, as in
primates, hyena, tendencies to domination or development
staff within the group for sexual submission.
On the other hand, we must not forget that playing with fire can burn, which still there are topics about sex, Sida , Prostitution, Pedophilia, Incenst, Rape or simply the Population Explosion, like the well-known in China, not to mention the market for
Pornography, the Zoophilia, Masochism, Homosexuality, the Kamasutra, Polygamy, Cybersex and so more..
My personal conclusion is that we have a salad of sexual orientation, just Only be served.
Perhaps it is simply a profile of the personality of the individual reflecting their sexuality in their more naked, hidden, and primitive form.
Make Love not War!
http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=iTW8oUV8Aq0
I don’t have any problems with same sex relationships.
I consider any kind of relationship a kind of art. They are often very difficult to carry on even when they are supported by this prejudiced society we live in. So I respect all the people who are brave enough to keep a relationship, homosexual or not. Hence, all kind of relationship is normal and the same for me.
I know many Men/women relationships without procriation..
I observe many heterosexual couple living without love and fighting all the time being very unhappy, marrying and remarrying again many times…children being raised among arguments or abandoned…
So what’s the problem?
There was an error in my post, please replace with…
As a gay man who has read all of your books I have often wondered if you would write about a gay relationship. I consider myself a spiritual person but no longer a religious one. I was raised by a religion that taught that homosexuality was a grave sin and such I would spend eternity in hell if I acted on my feelings. This caused me to have a breakdown in 2001. I left that church and rebuilt my life and over the last 4 or so years have studied both Buddhism and Hinduism (both of which are more tolerant of gay lifestyles). I have come across many gay men and some gay women who are deeply spiritual and would love to see more writings on this subject.
Saw this on the board of another forum and thought it was great.
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Flap … funny dodo bird landing there !!!
Sex is not Love and Love is not Sex but Love can drive to Sex.
We are learning our children about how to protect themselves about Sex, however we don’t teach them about how to manage Love.
Same sex relationship … why not as it is only a question of body pleasures. Same Love relationship … again why not as Love is an human being issue. Then ? For me the trouble can come only when we make a confusion between both.
busard
I think as far as is healthy relationship would be fine. But it is usually not like that. Most same-sex-relationships are based on some emotional, social, physiological or physical problems. If you go in their community you can see it clearly a lot of unnatural things. I have a close friend who is in relation with same sex and takes her few years to find right person. I like her as way she is but based on her stories I think something is missing in homosexual community. People really should be careful ab it because there are boundaries in everybody’s life that make them to have potential to get in relation with same sex but usually most people don’t cross those boundaries for different reasons and I think those boundaries are really important part of who we are and we should respect them.
@Mayank
There are some assumptions in your statements that lead me to ask you these four questions:
1) Is the unbounded growth of the human species a good thing?
2) Did you ever think that maybe homosexuals help the growth of the species in some way other than in quantity?
3) How do you know that nature didn’t create homosexuality as one potentiality of sexual expression?
4) If nature didn’t create that possibility, where did it come from?
You are correct in that we exist as two sexes (though not entirely correct, but I’ll leave you to do your own research on that), and that there is meaning in that. But that doesn’t negate the meaning that exists in homosexuals. Perhaps there is a meaning in same-sex relationships that simply doesn’t exist in opposite-sex relationships (just in the same way that childbearing doesn’t exist in same-sex relationships). This doesn’t necessarily make one type better or worse than the other.
I’m sure if you look a little deeper you will see that sex is not just about procreation. If it were, wouldn’t it be just as much of a “sin” for the infertile heterosexual to make love with their partner because there is no chance of a child?
There are cultures in this world which acknowledge more than two genders! The people of each gender have important roles to play in those societies. There are some cultures which also recognize a third sex. It’s unfortunate that our culture has chosen to equate gender with sex (do an internet search – they are not the same) and that even when sex has shown itself to be far more fluid than was first understood we ignored the evidence and continued trying to cram everyone into “Box A” or “Box B.”
My final point is that same-sex relationships exist in almost every animal species on the planet, and it’s nothing new. Again I ask, if nature didn’t create that possibility (as you say), where did it come from?
Respectfully,
Jonah
One thing more to say,
If I were parent I would be unhappy if my child turn out to be homosexual, but I should give him/her my whole love, support and comprehension with all my heart.
Luce
I agree with Yolanda Cardenas and Mayank
and
I do not pose this question as for me it is important everything else: ie character, personality, mentality….!
Said this, I do find it against Nature but Nature itself has its deviations and so who am I to judge it ?
It is already in spotlight and I do not see why it should be over and over written about or why it should be tabu (anyway it is not tabu for years now)!
Personaly I think that is private matter of single person and I do not like manifestations that look more like bad carnival lacking dignity then something in favour of the cause.
Luce
I think I’ve actually been in love with several women in my life – three to be exact – unfortunately, these were not women I was with. (They were just friends, who came and went from my life before I realized how dear they were to me.) The only women I’ve ever had sexual relationships with were not women I loved, not even women that I was attracted to: it was more of a “show” put on to please a man, either my partner or hers. And that was neither here nor there; there was little genuine pleasure in it because it’s like being a performer on stage – all of your senses are focused on making the performance a good one, as well as eliciting the desires reaction from the audience.
So, I certainly do believe that love between individuals of the same sex is possible. I don’t think it’s something that I would wish to pursue though, at least not as a permanent or primary relationship. I have done so many non-conformist things in my life that, honestly, at this point, the thought of the battle tires me. Maybe I would feel differently if I were in love with another woman and the door were right there in front of me; maybe then I would feel energized and inspired to take on the social battles unfortunately inherent in the pursuit such a relationship.
As for having a sexual relationship with a woman again. Sure, I wouldn’t mind it, because I think I am far more mature than I was back then and thus would be much more prepared to simply enjoy it for what it is – not just be tense and nervous, worried about pleasing the man who happened to be looking on.
As for same-sex relationships in general, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be viewed as “natural.” Numerous other species practice homosexual relations, each as a very specific evolutionary mechanism enabling the better survival of the species. (Read Mary Batten, “Sexual Strategies”) Why should humans be any different? If homosexuality is an element of our social relations, then it has developed as such as a very specific evolutionary response to certain environmental stimuli. It will, in the end, enable the species to survive, just as does reproduction. Otherwise, it will die off, as do other traits that threaten the survival of a species.
Often people complain that homosexuality is “un-natural” and that only sexual reproduction (heterosexuality) insures the survival of the human species. But, one thing that people seldom seem to take into consideration when they make this claim, is that the greatest threat to the survival of the human species at this point in history is its overpopulation of the planet. When viewed in this light, homosexuality seems not only natural, but even an attractive alternative. The last thing the world needs is more babies being born, when there are hundreds of thousands in need of adoption.
Having said all that, I prefer men. I just like to be around the male energy, especially if it is with a man who is comfortable enough being a man that he does not feel the need to perpetually “prove” his masculinity to me.
For me, personally, the ideal living environment would be a harem. And I mean this with the upmost of sincerity. I’ve thought about it for many years, and to me it just seems the ideal family structure: There would be this man at the center of my life, but I wouldn’t be compelled to be with him every minute of every day, because there would be these other wives with whom he would spend a portion of his time. As well, there would be this enormously close bond between the women, another very special sort of friendship. And just let me add that I do believe that it is possible to create this sort of family structure without any sort of “ownership” on the part of the male, in other words, a non-patriarchal environment in which all members are treated with equal love and respect. Just because there is more than one wife, does not necessarily have to denote subservience or subjugation on the part of the wives. Nor does the male necessarily have to be supreme ruler of such a nest. (Just a thought!)
You asked us to be honest.
Savita Vega
I have been asked this question alot..what I think of homosexuality..
I have always said the same thing “I respect it, but will never understand it”.
And having a lot of gay friends (unintentionaly may I add) I learned that it is just fine, as long as they respect me.
The most important thing in a person is their personality, not orientation.
Oh Paulo, I remember still how much has been traumatic for me to spy on my parents made SIMPLY the love…between man/woman…
I will never not understand the relationships between homosexuals because I’m eterosexual, I don’t have any kind of problems with them, I can’t judge and I don’t judge… simply…I don’t understand…how much is natural?
God created them male and female.
Some woman has got a Y near her genetic codex (XXY) so I understand but the rest…?
If I could think to made sex with other woman I ‘ll realize to have got any problem of mental deviation, it will be a bad game…so I don’t understand…
In a world where real love is rare and hard to hold on to (given ever changing social conditions) must we really criticize those who are able to find and blossom in love, whether it be man and woman or man and man/woman and woman? Amen to those who are able to find love.
This kind of relationships exists for a very long time in our world. But I think this century speaks about same sex relationships frankly. These ralationships excites millions of people and majority of them thinks that it’s a taboo.
I think we need to speak about it, write about it, examine it but at the same time understand that there should be a clear border between love and depravity.
The aim of the writer who shares this opinoin to inform readers on difference between love and depravity.
Regards,
Zina
I dont feel anyone should prohibit the growth of love!
First of all,friendship of course,I always find easy to get satisfied if a women give me some tender soft reaction.
Secondly,apprienticeship,I am teaching now,girls trust me,and I am happy to be the person to guide,and keep their faith alive in Jesus.
Where ever L O V E occurs and is. Something H O L Y takes place. And requires our deepest. Respect.
A pure sexuall relationsship without beeing “in love” – is possible if the persons involved are aware and agreed to the conditions.
The choice must be. Individuall.
The question is – is everyone free and secure enough – to make that choice?
Sr. Coelho
Sigo de cerca, siempre que me es posible su columna, la lectura de la misma me deja mucha paz interior, por lo cual estoy segura de que Ud es una persona con con un corazòn y un espìritu libre, si me permite felicitarlo. Mi posiciòn en cuanto a las relaciones sexuales entre personas del mismo sexo, es muy convencional por asì decirlo, pienso que cada uno toma la deciciòn de vivir su vida y hacer ocn su cuerpo lo que a bien tenga, si esto no afecta a los demàs, suya es cualquier consecuencia futura.El hecho de si es bueno o malo sòlo el futuro individual de cada uno lo valorarà o, si en este tipo de relaciones hay amor y otras cosas que llenan el corazòn y calman el espìriru del ser humano. Sòlo el tiempo nos lo dirà, como dice alguien en extremo sabio por allì..”por sus frutos los conocerèis”.
Yolanda
I believe gender and sexual orientation are only an aspect of our personalities – the soul has no gender – in the Gospel of Thomas there is a passage:
‘Jesus said to them “When you make the two into one, and when you make the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, …so that the male shall not be male, nor the female be female,…then you will enter the (Heavenly) domain.”
My personal belief is that people who are deeply homophobic, have homosexual feelings which they are ashamed of, and therefore unable to admit to, for religious and social reasons, and this inner conflict makes them lash out viciously at those who are openly gay. I can’t imagine why anyone who was secure in themselves would care what other people do with their lives. And even if you take the Bible at face value, don’t forget the bit about ‘judge not, lest ye be judged’. None of us is so perfect that we dare point fingers at our fellow travelers. We have more than enough of our own faults to deal with – let everyone else be.
The same sex relationships are un-natural and restrict the growth of human specie.
I know many of us would think that it is a personal choice, yet I think that whatever nature has created has some inherent meaning. If the nature has given us two genders to fuse amongselves, then there is a meaning behind it.
Each one of us has a masculine and feminine image within us. At times, we act as brave as a warrior and sometimes we act as kind as a mother or a sister. For few of us, one image is more prominent than the other, which let him/her feel attracted towards the same gender.
But this is an attitude problem. You can’t justify by saying that it is his/her personal choice. Nor, it is good to ban it socially. The good thing would be to change the person’s behavior and let him realize this problem. Sure, when one change his perception, it will change his gender preference as well.
I don’t see a problem with same sex relationships. I have a great relationship with my mother :)
Just joking. But seriously: what’s the big deal. As long as people are safe, tested and faithful to each other, who cares?
well I think it is each to their own – I have cousins both male and female who are in this type of relationship -and as long as u love and are loved who cares if it is same .I know its a taboo for a lot of society -but I think alot of women do find other women attractive in a sensual way – and most fantasize about this to some degree ,probably for men to -but can only speak on a womens view point .people just wont come out and say it -if they desire this .But if u are happy then whats the problem -most parents get up set by this at first -as they think oh — no grand kids or stuff ,but they need to see if their children are happy then good
Blessings Tania
Hi Paulo,
I think personally that love is the most imporatnat thing you can have in life, and as long as you have that it does not matter who it is with.
If you are in a loving relationship with someone the gender of that person is not important in relation to your own, if it satisfys the basic human need for love.
If I could not find that with someone of an opposite gender yet I could with someone of the same gender then I would throw myself into that relastionship whole heartedly in order to have love in my life.
Ellie
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