The male and female side of a computer

by Paulo Coelho on November 28, 2008

Top ten reasons why computers are male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

Top ten reasons why computers are female

10. The instruction manual is mostly wishful thinking.

9. Even after you’ve turned them on, they just sit there waiting for you to make the next move.

8. Incorrectly worded commands are completely ignored, or worse, taken literally.

7. They reveal all your secrets to anyone who wants to know.

6. Upgrades react badly to things left behind by previous versions.

5. Rules are absolute and there is no possibility of compromise.

4. Whatever you buy for them, there will always be a newer version that they want.

3. Nothing is ever “really” deleted… obsolete files will be brought up out of nowhere just to annoy you.

2. Error messages always translate to: “Well if you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.”

1. Despite your best efforts to prevent it, they continue to permit unauthorized entry.

( Found in Internet )

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

GB_Cobber August 24, 2010 at 10:34 am

Yet limited by the bipolar nature of it’s logic, even with all the information of the world at it’s disposal, the only answer a computer will ever yeild to the question: “Why do I exist” is Maybe!

Is it that I am simply because I may be?
Cobber.

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Marie-Christine December 19, 2008 at 12:50 pm

Ah ah very good!

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Michael December 1, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Thank you. Great idea too.

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Jordan December 1, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Um. This is a bit sexist (in the sense that it’s making fun of untrue stereotypes). I’m surprised it’s posted here.

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Paulien December 1, 2008 at 12:12 am

Hahaha, simply genious!

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dolo pérez November 30, 2008 at 3:30 pm

Paulo, soy Dolores, española(gallega). Me encanta tu blog, lo tengo entre mis preferidos. te leo habitualemente, también tus libros, aunque te he descubierto hace poco, con el de El Peregrino de Compostela y ahora me estoy leyendo Maktub, que me está gustando mucho.
si quieres pásate por mi blog, http://maktubdolo.blogspot.com/
el nombre hace honor a uno de tus libros, me gustó la idea de Está Escrito.
ánimas y ayudas!
siento escribirte en castellano, se poco inglés. espero que lo entiendas.

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Monika November 29, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Because I have a lot of work for the time being, I have some problems to switch off. Reading this I get relaxed and in a good temper again.
:-)) lol wol monika
(Gradually I begin to like these abbreviations – they can save a lot of time.)

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Le-Ann Mariamlelue November 29, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Thank you Paulo,
I enjoyed especially the reasons why computers are male lol
and lmao at your text Savita Vega
thanks all the way around for all the laughs

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dyosefina November 29, 2008 at 3:12 pm

hahaha.. i never realized computers could be compered to the male and female species.. thanks for posting… i enjoyed the analogy

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Alexandra November 28, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Very funny.Had a great laught…ha ha ha

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THELMA November 28, 2008 at 6:14 pm

I do not know much of the language of the computers and it is a .. miracle that I am here with you! Since I .. found you all here I am obsessed. I agree with No. 6 about our Adams:They will do whatever you say if you push the right button!
Love,
Thelma

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luce November 28, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Paulo,

Not only smile, but laugh my head off !
You made my day !

Thanks for putting it on your blog, otherwise I would not have found it.

Love,
Luce

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luce November 28, 2008 at 3:36 pm

Paulo,

You make me smile today when it is one of my rare bad days !
Well, not any more !

Thank you,
Luce

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Savita Vega November 28, 2008 at 3:12 pm

(A text I received yesterday:)

Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?

It stays up for twelve nights, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on!
———-

Thanks for the smile this morning, Paulo!

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