I have just had dinner, now I am having some coffee and contemplating the painting in front of me: it was put in a river and left there for a year, waiting for nature to give the final touch to the painter’s work.
Half of the painting was carried off by the waters and bad weather, so the edges are all uneven, but even so I can still see part of the beautiful red rose painted on a golden background. I know the artist. I remember 2003, when together we went to a forest in the Pyrenees, discovered the creek – which at that moment was dry – and hid the canvas underneath the stones that covered the river bed.
I know the artist, Christina Oiticica. At this very moment she is physically at a distance of 8,000 kilometers, and at the same time she is in everything around me. That makes me happy: even after 29 years of marriage, the love is more intense than ever before. Never did I imagine that this would happen: I had been in three relationships that did not work out right and was convinced that eternal love did not exist until she came along – on a Christmas afternoon, like a present sent by a angel. We went to the movies. We made love that same day. I thought to myself: “this won’t last long”. For the first two years I was always expecting one of us to give up the relationship. For the following five years I went on thinking that it was just an arrangement, that in a short while each of us would go our own way. I had convinced myself that any commitment of a more serious nature would deprive me of my “freedom” and stop me experiencing all that I wanted.
Twenty-nine years on, I am still free – because I discovered that love never enslaves us. I am free to turn my head and watch her sleeping at my side – that is the photo I have on my mobile phone. I am free for us to go out, enjoy a stroll, go on talking, discussing – and occasionally arguing, as always. I am free to love as I have never loved before, and that makes a great difference in my life.
Let’s go back to the painting and the river: it was the summer of 2002, I was already a well-known writer, I had money, I felt that my basic values had not changed, but how could I be absolutely certain? By testing. We rented a small room in a two-star hotel in France, where we began to spend five months each year. The wardrobe could not get any bigger, so we had to limit our clothes. We wandered through the forests, dined out, spent hours in conversation and went to the movies every day. The simplicity of it all confirmed for us that the most sophisticated things in the world are precisely those that are within everyone’s reach. All that I needed for my work was a portable computer. But it so happens that my wife is … a painter.
And painters need gigantic studios to produce and keep their work. By no means did I want her to sacrifice her vocation for me, so I proposed renting a place. However, looking around, seeing the mountains, the valleys, the rivers and the lakes, the forests, she thought: why don’t I work here? And why not let nature work with me?
And thus was born the idea of “storing” the canvases in the open air. I carried my laptop and went on writing. She knelt on the grass and painted. A year later, when we removed the first paintings, the result was original, magnificent.
We lived in that small hotel for two unforgettable years. She continued to bury her canvases, no longer out of necessity but because she had discovered a new technique. The Amazon, Mumbai, the Way to Santiago, Lubijana, Miami. Today she is far away, but tomorrow or next week she will be close again, sleeping at my side. Content, because her work is beginning to be recognized all over the world.
At this moment I see only the rose. And I thank the angel that gave me two presents on that Christmas of 1979: the ability to open up my own heart, and the right person to receive it.
A happy 2009 to all.
—
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this is where we all go wrong with love…we think too much, we always wonder why.
If we take it one day at a time, no expectations, no committments, no changing the other person, being with them as they are…unconditionally…then love will soon blossom.Love will last deep inside and rests deep within our heart and soul.
alex
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Dearest Paulo,
I went through the posts yesterday and especially liked this one. Thank you for sharing something so beautifully intimate as this. That’s so like you and you do it so well,as always.
Glad your love story IS. I liked what you wrote about Christina- “like a present sent by an angel”. Wow! That’s really, really special. And you ended by saying- “the ability to open up my heart and the right person to receive it.” Which is so true and yet rare. How many of us are open to receive as well as to give? As for meeting who could be the right person- w-e-l-l…???
I am happy you both share this wonderful, blessed love together. And glad that you thought to share it with us.It’s made a difference to me, especially after my recent, personal fiasco.
Hugs,
Sheela.
India
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Your wonderful story restores my faith in human nature. If only we could accept random acts of love without asking why…
Best wishes and may you have many more years of happiness.
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Thank you!
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woooow…very touching…
U know,Coelho,Your wife is very lucky that she has so wonderful husband like You.You are a fantastic person! That is the reason why I read You,why I love you so much!While reading ‘You’ as if I am reading my own opinions!
It is very pleasant when there is a mutual understanding and support to one another in relationship!that is the core element of LOVE!
Wish You happy and long years with Mrs,Christina!
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Paulo, Thank You very much for sharing this story.
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Dearest Paulo,
I apologise for not commenting properly on this piece, especially after you’ve shared such an amazing part of your wife with us. I just got a bit caught up with life to tell you the truth. So allow me to say:
It’s incredibly beautiful. The thought of using nature itself as an element in her art is unique and the beauty of her products fascinate me even more. Its very beautiful, and you must be unbelievably proud of her. I’m sure she loves you every bit as much you love her :) (not that its about that..) Do give her my best, and lots and lots of love :) tell her to keep it up and i sincerely look forward to you putting up more of her work here.
Thank you for being
Yajna
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Dear Jessica, Nancy and Raj,
Thank you all for your support and prayers. I feel better that there are people out here who care and are trying to improve our lives here. Thank you for your love and uplifting words :)
Lots of love
Yajna
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I’m curious. Has anyone tripped on any of her paintings, discovered them unwittingly? I hope no one goes hunting for them, because those paintings are meant to be untouched until Christina finds them again.
All the best to you and your family this year and always, Paolo.
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A woman of 51 from Austria wrote under “Auditions”!
I include my comment to her, here in it’s proper place:
I believe the implication is that his relationship with his wife is “Like a Fairy Tale” - One would say in English for example “A fairly tale relationship”. (it’s a Benchmark term or comparison)
This implies that the course of which, was practically perfect, according to his/their perception of it…
The story of Paulo’s relationship with his wife Christina, is for me without a shadow of doubt… True…
If we take the Painting as an example, it is living proof of it’s ability to stand the test of time… even under water… the rose of love is still clearly visable…
I assimilate this to the trials and tribulations of daily life, (including deadly sunday afternoons ;) …
This is what really truly tests the “depth” of a relationship…
Love, Paul
(I’m of course talking from experience…;)
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Very beautiful! The touch of nature made this drawing more natural, more wonderful. The rose seems to be alive, maybe because the artist has put her heart/soul in this art.
Loves ;-)
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I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year. May your year be full of abundance of every kind.
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Love has different meanings in each phase of life..
Sometimes it is a an ecstasy full of madness, we go on dreaming of the person and his company makes us immensely happy. Again at some point of time it blossoms into a strong friendship.. followed by commitment of being together forever; and then there are phases when you get flooded by the emotions of that other individual and can not hold back your feelings to yourself and confess your love for him…
Love is so much docile and yet strong enough to penetrate the wall we build around ourselves.
But I must say that love often tricks human beings in strange ways.. perhaps it is a price you have to pay every time you ignore love. Love comes to your life when you least expect it. Even if you try ignoring it, it would break barriers and make you realize that it does exist within you. Once you realize your feelings, you want to get closer to your love and quite ridiculously it drifts apart. Some people are lucky enough to get it back.. and for some it is a search throughout your life.
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Dear Paulo,
your story prove that Love is the best present from God. and indeed God is love…
dear Yajna,
Be brave, God Love will be always with you.. although i can’t do much at least I pray to Lord Ganesh that you and family will be in peace and free form obstacles..
Happy and bless year 2009
Raj
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Love is a choice, a journey of self-discovery. Enslavement and possession are also choices. Yet, when the soul percieves itself to be free, it is not possible to confine it. Your soul is like a butterfly and your kindred spirit is the being who invites you to connect your life force back to your core. Your soul mate orients your life energy to circle back into yoruself. Ths is not control, but loving guidance. You are attuning to love on new frequencies.
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Best wishes, Happy New Year!
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08 has been an incredible year of transition for me. One that included valleys so deep there were times I didn’t think I would get through them and there were also moments of a bliss/euphoria I have not known. Today I decided to make a Top 10 list of positive aspects of this journey. How amazed I was to see my Top 10 list continue into 30’s… Discovering your work was one of these blessings. I, too, have looked to the heavens thanking God for delivering your words to me at different precise moments of my journey. Paulo, what a gift you truly are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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A Happy New Year. A New Year.
A story about Love during this cold winter. Dr. Zhivago anyone?
‘Somewhere, my love, there will be songs to sing
Although the snow covers the hopes of Spring’
Lara’s Theme
Paulo,thank you for sharing this wonderful painting and your story, so happy for you and your wife. (The fact that the two of you can live happily in a small hotelroom after all these years is proof enough that your’s is a Great Love indeed :)
“the ability to open up my own heart”
I think that’s the most important sentence of your story.
Without that ability TRUE LOVE could hit you in the head, but you still wouldn’t know….Even great love has it’s limits…when it wants to develop in to a real relationship. An individual has the power to block it. Never listen to your head in such cases. Follow your heart and soul.
In 1979 this ‘Rose’ received a great gift as well, the gift of life. So I congratulate you with your present, the present of a Great Love, which you still got in this PRESENT. Obviously I’ve still got my gift as well. :-)
I’ve met my Great Love in my lifetime too, so I consider myself very lucky. But we’re not together in a relationship. No.
Which I still find a challenge to accept. But that’s part of life I guess; to accept what can’t be accepted. To surrender.
Although it remains a mystery to me how God spreads the love among people. Life would be sweeter for everyone if everyone of us would receive the blessing of such a love. Love makes one’s life better, soothes the pain, lifts your spirit like nothing else can.
But, on the other hand; yearning for romantic love, waiting for a soulmate to come and rescue you can be a very unsatisfying, fruitless experience. They don’t always come around and rescue you. And then stay with you for the rest of your days. It’s a blessing when they do, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way, sometimes you have to rescue yourself. Sometimes it’s better to let go, just live and concentrate on your personal legend. It can be very easy to get lost in love in a negative way for yourself. Seeing it as the only lifeline. Speaking from experience here…
True love will come to you when you least expect it, no need to worry about it or despair for. But which shape such a love will take, we can never foresee. Or how long such a love will be in your life. I guess most of us, when with our Great Love, would want them in our life as long as we live. But that’s not always meant to be, sometimes we have to go on our own. Due to death or just the circumstances who get in the way.
We then have to find a way to transform the love we have in us. To find a new outlet for it. Love. It really is a mystery. Has so many faces. We never know which one of them we will eventually look in the eye. The lessons we can learn from a GREAT LOVE are endless, even if it doesn’t stay with us or doesn’t work out as we had wished. We learn to give love in a way which changes us forever and expands our soul.
You know, out of your books, Brida is the most personal to me. In a way I am Brida, but I’m also the Magus. Finding a Great Love at a young age. Losing this love in favor of someone else. Knowing that this was the best choice. But I will never be the same. For me this book is maybe sometimes a little bit too close for comfort, though I love it. It made me feel a little bit less crazy. But I’m also kind of like: ‘I was still so young, for me there was no second soulmate around. For my love there was. But I was not like the Magus. Didn’t betray love before. Was big eyed, believed in love with every fibre of my being. In that love, like a child. Which was superscary ofcourse for the other party, someone more experienced. So then one decides with one’s rational mind. One decision can alter your life. Sometimes it’s not that easy to come back to, even if you want to. Well, every story is different. And mine’s quite crazy. Ah well…
The miracle of love, of live in general. The presents given to us from time to time. I still believe. I have hope in my heart, in my soul. Even with a broken heart. There will be better times. This too shall pass. In the meanwhile; be grateful of what you’ve got. Try to live in the moment as much as possible. For we already know what has happened in the past and simply do not know what will happen in the future.
Love suffereth long, and is kind;
Love envieth not;
Love vaunteth not itself is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly,
Seeketh not her own,
Is not easily provoked,
Thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Henry Drummond’s The Greatest Thing
(My New Year’s resolution; trying to read that excerpt every day. To remind me of the highest form of love. To not get lost in dreadful self-pity.)
P.S. Savita Vega; thanks for your inspirational story as well. An inspiring reminder for all of us that if things are meant to be, they will be. But in the meantime, live your life. I’m talking to myself right now. I haven’t been very succesful at this. Learning the hard way. It’s the only way for me. My heart is too stubborn.
Also loved your quote: ‘You can never accurately estimate the importance of the role you play in another person’s life.’
So true, so true. Something I still wrestle with from time to time.
Wonderful that you got your second chance.
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Me ha encantado este texto, el amor que siente por su esposa através de esta rosa me ha llegado muy dentro. Por su sencillez.
No sé dónde leí, que el amor nunca falla,, igual fue en alguno de sus libros.
Y si, si existe el amor eterno,estoy segura de eso.Por eso os deseo un buen año 2009 y que Dios los Bendiga y bendiga su unión.Con amor, Elisabeth.
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Dear Paulo,
I just finished reading The Golden Rose, and I must say I envy the relationship you have with your wife. I have been married for 20 years and instead of becoming better, our marriage is “to each his own”.
Your words inspire anyone to continue and not give up that “love” is out there and we must fight to find it and believe in it always.
Love is what make the world go round..
Thank you
Karen
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à quand la version française ?
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Que hermoso, gracias por amaros tanto, y felicidades a los dos
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This made me cry. Very beautiful and touching.
Happy 2009 to Paulo and Christina
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God Bless you… and your Rose…
Love, Paul
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Excuse me Paulo for sending so many comments on this subject, but it waked up something inside of me I can´t explain what, but it did :-)
So thank you !!!
I have walked in the woods by myself today and though about life in general, when I came home I found a site with quotes:
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
- Alan Watts
Love forever
Jessica
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Dear Paulo,
Thank you for sharing this glory to The Love, it gives me hope and faith that one day it will knock at my door too.
I gave up hope some time ago, but it is one of my resolutions for 2009 ‘ not to loose hope in love and now I see this poetry, because it is poetry, describing Your love.
Love
Luce
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Absolutely wonderful! Thank You for sharing it with me too
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After reading Yajna’s comment I want her to know I will say a prayer for her country. It will be a prayer about people suffering in the hands of another human being to be stopped, stronger stable government, rise of more social programs. We can give a prayer, and God will work with us to make the changes.
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I just keep looking at that picture / painting.
It doesn’t let me go.
Something about it.
It makes me want to say a million things and express a million feelings.
And then again it just wants me to look and enjoy.
(I better go and have another take on that red wine and shut up…. ;))
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And a happy 2009 to you and your wife.
I read the post before looking at the picture.
It is gorgeous.
I admit that I first thought: what a weird idea and well, just another way of an artists to get famous :P
But I truly love the outcome!
It is amazing what Love can do.
And even more amazing what you can do when you love.
Hugs to both of you from another couple, enjoying times together and kissing the picture of the loved one when not there.
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Dear Paulo,
Your story just comes at a time I am reconsidering my own marriage.
I don’t have that freedom you talk about.
Its something I miss very much.
But I also have children wich make everything harder. If there were no children involved I would have said to my husband to change the relationship or live sometime apart.
On one hand I dont want to dictate my will, on the other hand I dont want to make the people around me unhappy.
Love,
Mirjam
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That is truely a beautiful insight you have given, into enduring Love. Thank you.
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Well… I think it’s a sign, the fact I’ve read this just today…
It helps believing, when belief and hopes were hidden, inside my soul…
It could be…. that true love is there, somewhere…
Thanks so much Paulo, Happy New Year also to You…
Simona
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You have a wonderful relationship.I hope one day I should find the right person,as you did.My fears are same,not to have any freedom,or to become too posesive.But sure if one is with the right person,all is balanced.Your example gives me faith.On the other hand,the painting of the rose is really amazing,in its result…I see something like that for the first time,is beautiful and interesting in the same time.Congratulations.Wish you a verry Happy New Year!
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Happy New Year Paulo :)
And my best wishes for you would be to keep these feelings for the rest of your life…
Keep cultivating the Love…
And thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings…
I discovered your books when I was 13 years old and I read them time and again since that moment, they’ve helped me to grow up, and they still do…
Thanks
Besos desde Valencia
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Some poems I found:
In the middle of the most worried heart
their is a place of peace beyond time
that cannot be affected by anything that can strike you
Here in this serenity there is rest and helaing
Nothing that we are tortured by, nothing that we are afraid of can harm this absolute calmness
Go into this serene place and learn the meaning of your life
not richness or fame
instead how you can feel your belongingness with everything
Everything that you have loved is here
All joy, all good. Here you meet all living
Noting evil can survive in this declared light
/Pam Brown
To be present in everything you do
To have an open mind means
to respect enjoy the power of life
and really be presnet in everything you do
from the try to love, and to share your bread with someone
/Phyl Garland
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Hi Mayssa and Yajna,
I was deeply touched by your storys, it made me sad and I prayed for you both and your situations.
I prayed for that all the people some day can forgive each other and begin to share instead.
I cannot imagine living in a warzone, and I hope I never will either.
I wish that noone had to live in fear and war, but the sad truth it isn´t so.
I live in Sweden which not had an war for almost 200 years, and I hope we never will have a war again.
How can it be so hard to respect and accept that we all are different, that we are unique every one of us?
Why are some people trying to convince other people their right by violence?
Everyone of us has our own truth and angle of looking at life.
Who is right and who is wrong ?
Noone of us has right or wrong…. we all have our own truth and way of living and do things.
We need to open our heart and learn humbleness to respect and accept each others orignality.
But we humans are not quite there yet, many people have to find their true feelings in their heart.
We can only ourself be the change we want, to be an inspiration to others.
Because how will war never stop it we want revenge all the time?
We have to learn to forgive ourself for our mistakes, and also forgive them that have done us wrong or else we can never put a stop to war and suffer.
It is not easy, it´s an ongoing process all the time.
For me praying to God and listen to him and the angles whispering helping me a lot :-)
One thing that have helped me a lot is meditate and find a serene and peacful place in my self.
Love, courage and light to you Mayssa and Yajna !!!!
Jessica
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Dear Paulo,
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughs about your relationship, and inspiring me to believe that the same miracle can and will happen to me as well again soon.
Your books have contributed greatly to changes in the way of my thinking and seeing the world, making me a much more positive person than I had been before, and thus paving the way for great positive changes to my life.
Nevertheless, my faith in myself still lets me down time to time, and that’s exactly the case right now about my love life. But as all your books have found me exactly when they had to find me, so did your current story about your relationship. Thank you for this perfect timing.
Wishing you all a very happy 2009!
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Thank you for hope.
Blessings,
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Dear Paulo,
this is one of the BEST THINGS i’ve read in ages! THANK YOU!! apart from the nuances that touched me in a personal way, i also learnt sth:
Twenty-nine years on, I am still free – because I discovered that love never enslaves us. I am free to turn my head and watch her sleeping at my side – that is the photo I have on my mobile phone. I am free for us to go out, enjoy a stroll, go on talking, discussing – and occasionally arguing, as always. I am free to love as I have never loved before, and that makes a great difference in my life.
I AM FREE TO LOVE AS I HAVE NEVER LOVED BEFORE, AND THAT MAKES A GREAT DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE.
Thank you!! I’m glad u’re in my life… in a way, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! May God the Father send you tremendous blessing through His Son & Holy Spirit! (It is the best gift i can think of… because they are also most precious to me.) ♥
much love.
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That’s a very nice story. I have sent it to my friends.
Thank you for that and congratulations to Cristina for her beautiful work and continued success.
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Awesome.
Thank you.
For hope.
And for reminding me I don’t have to change.
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Dearest Paulo and friends,
Today i’ve come to plead with you to pray for my country, South Africa. I know it sounds a bit crazy, but i cannot take the violence and crime i am exposed to here anymore. Paulo, you are a UN Messenger of peace, i don’t know if you can do anything but i really hope that after you hear me out, you will try to do something to improve things here.
Today is new years day, and like the entire world, the eve of new years has always been a time of celebration. I’m from Durban, South Africa, and with my two brothers, and some youths in our family, we decided to go to a beach club party. Everything is advertised wonderfully, our tickets are organised and after shopping and dressing in the perfect outfit, we set off. Our parents, as usual, go off for a more formal dinner and dance. As we’re driving to the beach, at about 9pm, we hear penetrating sirens, and flashes of blue lights fly past us. As we approach a stop street, on our right, in a thin dark ally, we see a police man on horseback chasing someone, we watched as he pulled out a gun and shoot him from behind. The suspect fell immediately face first to the ground, as the policeman’s horse kicked his side to contain him on the ground. Shocked and dazed like we’re watching a movie, we proceed to the stop street only to be driving into an even bigger drama. In front of our car a black man ran, looking directly at us, smiling at us! A policeman, gun in hand, ready to aim, rapidly chased after him, followed by another man and two racing squad cars. In the backround all we heard was sirens, screaming, and gunshots. We’re an innocent family, in the middle of a shoot out, ducking, praying that a stray bullet doesn’t hit anyone of us. All i can think about is, my family is in this car, my family is in this car. What if they shoot at us? I didn’t even think of myself, i just imagined that bullet hitting that glass and how finished i’d be if anything were to happen to someone. Although this happened in minutes, it felt like an eternity, and we eventually sped off, shocked and traumatised. We arrived at our party, called a couple of my cousins, and left immediately. We refused to go anywhere but home, and like sardines- we packed in the car so we could get out of there as soon as possible. We also found out later, that same party, had so many fights and people wanting to kill each other that they had to call the cops to contain the situation. I’ve read in papers at home about crime, seen fights, but i’ve never seen someone get shot and fall to the ground. I’ve never been in such a high risk position. Its new years, and its supposed to be a time of happiness, of fun and laughter, and it makes me sad that there is so much terror and hatred and crime that i fear leaving my house. I hate that, because this is such a beautiful country but there is so so much of violence that even reading the newspaper everyday makes me sick. I feel so horrible that all i want to do now is leave this country. I know myself, and i know that i have such potential to make a difference here but there’s such a great risk of me losing my life, i just feel so scared to do anything. I wish i could somehow bring peace among us. I wish people prayed more or did something, anything, to stop this violence. I wish there was peace. I wish i could do something to stop it. I really, and truely do. Thank God though, that nothing happened to us. It just makes me so sad, that i have to live with fear, looking over my back constantly, locking ever door just so i can live when people all around the world don’t have that stress.
Paulo, on a more lighter note, thank you for this story. Its very beautiful, and i pray i find a love like yours in my life. You are blessed :) After such a horrid night, i find myself uplifted by your words. Thank you. I hope you look into helping me in way.
oh, Happy new year to both you and your wife :) love you both :)
Thank you for being,
Yajna
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the first love story i read this day of the year
happy new year mr coelho :-)
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Hope… hope… hope… what do I hope for 2009 that I haven’t promised, wandered or waited for the last 20 years? Same ol’ same ol’. I’m tired of “Hoping”. Won’t even hope God answering me. Let the chips fall where thet may… “Non nobis, Domine, non nobis. Sed nomine Tuo da gloriam”
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Dear Sir,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us..everytime i read your blogs.. always there is shine in your words for my world….happy new year to you and your fam may it be a bless one.
Sincerely
Just one of your readers.
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I love that you share that with us.
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Thanks for sharing. Fairytale love does exist!
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