google
yahoo
bing

Your Space in my Blog: 9th of January 2009

This space is for you to share your ideas on anything that you consider relevant today.

You can publish here excerpts from your blogs or news and articles in general that you think make a difference to the world today. Try to make a bit of editing on what you post here - try to highlight passages with copy-paste, rather than simply giving links.

Please keep in mind that this blog is currently viewed by 230.000 unique visitors a month, and chances are that many of them are going to read your thoughts.

67 Responses to “Your Space in my Blog: 9th of January 2009”


  • I STILL LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [Reply]

  • I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

    [Reply]

  • Paulo why did you write about a killer? Why a killer?

    [Reply]

  • “We need to remember that all the choices we made are made out of love. So there are no really wrong or right decisions even if the outcome turns out to be so painful or would seem wrong. With this knowing, we become more conscious, we become more aware. It would be easier for us to know; are we acting out of fear or are we acting out of love? Either way, we are still going to find ourselves where we ought to be. And that is where we are now.” - 29 December 2008

    [Reply]

  • “if i could still talk to him…” is a letter I imagined I’d be able to give still to a long lost love … I wrote this 2 months ago, when every moment of my life was a long, heavy burden i couldnt possibly endure further…

    but it just went on anyway.

    And so, just because i needed to breathe, just because I had to at least try breathing inside the dark coffin I felt I was placed in even if I had been alive, I had to imagine that happiness was at my reach. I started to write a love letter, believing that my long-gone lover would read it.

    Hello Den…

    ‘almost paradise’ is on the radio right now.

    no idea why it reminds me of you… us…
    somewhere in time…
    i’ll talk about that later.

    For i suddenly recalled… when i escaped to meet you - from Cagayan de Oro to Davao last December - I was on that bus looking for signs, signs that would assure me that my escape was worth the trouble.

    Then i saw a jeepney, with this huge heading “PARADISE REGAINED” and i took that as a sign.. Until now, i don’t know why i was so wrong. Til now i don’t know why I’ve had become so blind… why i didn’t realize that the situation was beyond hopeless… and why, SARA DESPI was DESPAIR in lexigram form, not PARADISE. As life proved it to me…

    Anyway, life now is… an absolute stranger to me, which i’m beginning to get to know and be intimate with anyhow.

    Ive had these… lil videos recorded - it was of me doing my thing… acting… monologues, lines, etc.

    A monologue highlighted my day today. from “Somewhere in Time”.

    I couldn’t perfect it on video, and that’s because… i was envisioning you, seeing it… receiving the message of it… only i couldnt do it.

    Why? Because… I wasn’t here. I’m seldom present these days. I’m rarely.. alive. I’m usually trapped in my own mind somehow, and… its killing me. I don’t know how to negotiate with myself to get out of it.

    Why?

    Because… I recall, when i was so inspired and just naturally prompted to record some acting stuff from myself, it was a time i was so.. PRESENT. SPARKLING, EFFORTLESS, AND MOST OF ALL… TRUE.

    I was absolutely, genuinely expressive. And it was when i was in love with you and - i believed in myself. I believed in my own love. I breathed it. It was my every heartbeat.

    Now, though i still love you and am scared i might probably love you forever - i couldnt believe in it any longer. My love, or whatever it is that makes me alive still. I couldnt trust it. It seems like… some crimson feather that’s hard to catch in the wind. I cannot GROUND it on earth… because it doesnt seem to belong there. It doesnt seem to have a home. Or a target. Or a vivid desire…

    I cannot believe that love still exists for me in my present, much more in my future. Because… it was only meant to breathe in the past.

    And because, if there’s such a thing called love, then i shouldve received a miracle with you a long time ago… and shouldve lived happily ever after.

    But…no. Here i am, struggling… Struggling with a life i never signed up for… a life i didnt choose to be born in. Struggling… even with acting. Why, i cannot even find my place in what im naturally drawn to in life.. this industry… i feel so - left out, and unheard — to tell you honestly.

    And still - im being driven by this force i could not understand. It makes me go on and… i honestly feel too sick to go on and on and on…

    and i dont even know why i just wont shoot my head off, you know?

    But the memories of that… love… all so beautiful and unforgettable to make me want to leave my life.

    God, why?!?!

    By the way, you just have to see my nails. My toenails. I painted em red, and they look so pretty…

    Geez I crave to see your response… I crave it so badly.

    I crave to share my everyday stories with you still… I can almost envision you sitting by the edge of my bed again, listening to me blabber around, smiling…

    i dont even know if youre listening, but… i recall, how that amused smile just made everything so beautiful… so warm,.. so alright.

    And i remember, you - suddenly grabbing an enthusiastic, talkative me - towards you… and enveloping me in your warmth and… everything. …shutting my mouth up. :)
    I cannot even imagine why, at that time, my dramatic and highly insulting encounter with this ADDU authority figure felt so beautiful… i didnt care if i cried in public, even… i felt so wonderful even in that situation. Because… i could feel your presence already even if we were still to meet that night…

    God, you made me feel so secure… so sure… so… invincible even in my vulnerability.

    I dont know why… i cannot take it back anymore. why i couldnt find it in me once more.

    Maybe, because… im being led to believe were never gonna be together again. You, being with me, now seems, an incredibly far out dream.

    Oh yeah, i had a dream last night. About this apocalypse in Mactan… An epic dream. Ah, maybe ill share that next time.

    Ive never asked this before but… how is it like being forbidden? being.. or feeling like… the forbidden apple?

    or is it really you, or me, who’s the forbidden apple here?

    After all, im the intruder.

    Does it feel like .. some prison or what? No no no, im not trying to lead you into a selfish motive here, im not being manipulative like some people have told you before about my character.. ugh i never even met them.

    Im askin if it feels like some prison because… i feel so imprisoned, so trapped… and to think that being in love with you gave me the greatest freedom ever. Something’s trapping me.. suffocating me.

    And to tell you the truth, the guy i like here in Bigfoot is… in the same garden. The garden of Eden. FORBIDDEN… Oh Den, why?

    Though my life seems like some disturbing art film right now, like the unbearable lightness of being, only in a tragic sort of twist… inside of me, it is an epic battle… a historical epic film or some dark fantasy trilogy with grave battle sequences.

    And… because youre mr. drummerboy, you are… those drumbeats that begin the battle, and is symbolized as my life’s heartbeats. It goes on and on and on, every ticking minute of my life, but, i cannot really hear the passionate sound anymore in the middle because im too caught up in the chaos… im stuck in it. until…

    the final crashing sound… because… its suddenly so silent. And it stops the battling troops immediately - theyve no idea what has come to them.

    You know, i dreamt of being an actress since a child. But when i had my first great breakdown, september 22 2005, i knew i was done with it. because i was done with life. i couldnt make sense of life. i didnt choose to become alive, and that pissed me off.

    i didnt care about whatever i had wanted anymore… i couldnt endure living for the glory of this gray world. gray cement, gray buildings, gray lifeless people around me,… and in the end, we end under a gray tombstone, believing we’ll find happiness in that… FUCK! Even the heavens are gray!

    And then you got me. That night, oh you must surely remember that night, it was a few days after my birthday you know. my 18th birthday.. that night when you still hid the fact that you already have a girlfriend… leading me to believe that i was finally yours.

    But… i wanted to tell you this before.. i didnt want you saying sorry for hiding that truth from me. There’s nothing to be sorry about, i didnt care if you had a girlfriend because - you brought me back to life and changed me entirely… you brought me freedom and, i didnt get why you had to say sorry when i wanted to say thank you.

    firstly, i had no idea that my loss of desire and passion for life only brought the actress in me out, because.. i was being real every second of my life.. dramatic, with such exhausting rage. And that made me feel… so great in time after my breakdown.

    But your arrival brightened everything… You made it all .. sparkle like mad.

    Now that youre gone, the only road im always being thrown to, no matter how i approach it with such carelessness and irresponsibility, is to fulfill that childhood dream… not only for myself now, but… for you. It is the only way i can communicate with you. I have no idea what its about yet but… im learning

    I wont be here if.. my life has nothing to do with you, ive discovered. And though what i had with you is already considered dead, everytime i feel like killing myself, i couldnt do it.

    Because recently ive realized that dying wont wake me up into the world where i experienced love, heaven, with you.. the only sound that could silence my anguish.

    What i had with you could never be in the land of the dead…

    And then it flashed like lightning:
    Because… It is in the land of the living.

    MONOLOGUE:

    Somewhere in Time - 1980

    The man of my dreams is almost faded now.
    The one I have created in my mind.
    The sort of man each woman dreams of
    in her most secret and deepest part of her heart.
    I could almost see him now before me.
    What would I say to him if he were really here?

    Forgive me, I’ve never known this feeling.
    I’ve lived without it all my life.
    Is it any wonder that I fail to recognize it?
    You brought it to me for the first time.
    Is there any way I can tell you how my life
    has changed?
    Anyway at all, to let you know what
    sweetness you have given me?
    There’s so much to say– and I can’t find
    the words– except for these… I love you. …

    That is what I would say to him if he were really here.

    [Reply]

  • Dear Catherine
    Many thanks for your comments, I have learned a lot from them.
    History and many many other topics are not my “forte” I really appreciate that a lot.
    and yes 5,000 years was just a range they chose in that article.
    Love

    [Reply]

  • I see very encouraging signs coming through what I read on this blog that the world is really at a crossroad and is willing to change for the betterment of mankind.
    I had a look around the archives and was looking for the comment made by Savita on the 4th of December regarding education. (The soldier in the Forest J.P. Setau .)Thanks Savita and Paulo for reminding us of the importance of education.

    In my opinion, education is one of our priority if we want to change this world. It has to start with the future - our children - and how we are going to educate them will determine the new world.
    The Reggio Emilia’s school in Italy are reknown all around the world. The school focus on the education of children from 3 months to 6 years.
    We know how important those years are for the development of children, it determines who they will become as a person for the future.
    This is done through careful observations of each individual child to see what their competences are - using all senses - visual, touch, smell, kinesthetic, taste and emotional -
    A program is implemented in an open-dialogue between children, parents and teachers, all collaborating in an innovative way to bring the best in the child by acquiring critical skills that allows him to learn through his mistakes and teaching him other skills in an engaging way that enhances his creativity. By listening and guiding the child in a loving and caring way, he is able to express himself in a responsible manner that will benefit his community and the world in the future.

    “Our tasks, regarding creativity is to help children climb their own mountains, as high as possible” Loris Malaguzzi (Reggio Emilia)

    I also came across another program “The City Kid”- funded by Laurie Meadof in New York. It is a multi-cultural youth organisation, one where youth - the next generation - can come together , feel positive about their lives by expressing their own needs.

    Reggio Emilia and Laurie Meadoff, I salute you!

    Time to do some lobbying and demanding what is best for our children.

    [Reply]

  • Let me grow
    Let me learn
    Let me flourish
    Let me live
    Let me be
    As old and wise
    As an ancient tree
    One that stood
    Steady and brave
    Throughout life’s storms
    Hurricanes
    Floods
    Thunders
    One that sheltered
    Others
    At the time of need
    And changed with the seasons
    Openly
    Defiantly
    With roots anchored to my Mother
    And branches rising to my Father
    Let me grow
    Let me learn
    Let me flourish
    Let me live
    Let me be
    A mighty tree
    One of life and love and light and laughter
    Let me be me
    I am a Tree.

    [Reply]

  • Dear Paulo, i am a reader of you’re book from around 1985, i am an admirer of you’re talents. Even some time i write article i will never try to publish it scaring to destroy the quality of you’re writing …

    In Geneva i never have the chance, to meet you …

    Now i am too far away (China) and is really pity i cannot find some of you’re book in Chinese for let the son of my wife read it , i remenber how you’re book chnce my view in life in many point

    Cheer

    Yann

    [Reply]

  • “It isn’t explanations that carry us forward, it’s our desire to go on.” from Brida, by Paulo Coelho

    I could offer all kinds of explanations as to why this post is three days late. Really. I have lots of reasons (aka excuses). Some of them are even good ones.

    But what would be the point?

    It’s like the ONE time I climbed what could be called a mountain umpty doodle years ago - Mt. Olympus on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. It may not be of Everest proportions but, trust me, it’s the top of the world when you’re standing on top. (Maybe I’ll show you the pictures sometime…)

    Anyway, I have historically had a real problem with heights and that day long ago as I huddled on a snowy ledge just dozens of feet below the summit I thought about that and wondered why I’d reached that precarious point - and how in the world I’d get back down.

    My co-worker J. and I kvetched to our friend T. who (in a weak moment?) had agreed to lead us to the summit. We had never climbed before and had seemingly reached our limit.

    “How much farther? What will it be like?” I whined. But then I caught myself (just in time) and said, “No, don’t tell me. Don’t explain it to me. I’ll just go.”

    And I did. At that point it was a vertical - but quick - scramble to the summit - a summit which was completely out of site even though it was so close. And I have to say, that abandonment of fear was completely exhilarating.

    Where could your desires take you if you abandoned all fear and just let go?

    D-E-S-I-R-E reduces to 33/6: d/4 + e/5 + s/1 + i/9 + r/9 + e/5 = 33. Think about it. And imagine letting go.

    Jeri Lynn
    from my numerology blog, http://realandimaginary.blogspot.com/2008/10/numerology-for-week-of-oct-26-nov-1.html

    [Reply]

  • ~Love~
    Four simple letters that create a complicated word much bigger than any other word in the English language…
    Love is knowing, feeling and hearing. It is external, internal and eternal. It will catch you off guard, put you on your guard and take down your guard. It is the first and last thing you will ever feel in this short life. It is a smile, a giggle, a laugh and a snort. It is patience, understanding, learning and growing. It is the force that can drive you to great heights and suddenly without warning pull you to great depths. It is something we crave, long for and miss. It is something we can take for granted, throw away or hide deep inside ourselves. Sometimes we push it away and other times we embrace it, but always it is a part of us.
    05-06-08
    -NDS

    [Reply]

  • Welcome to you too dear Thelma. And may your new year a very good one. Thank you to make me think about… Yes: Happy 09 to all of you.

    [Reply]

  • Dear Marie-Christine,

    Thank you for your answers.
    To answer to you, all depends on our belief through ancient civilizations. Some historians as Louis Claude Vincent dates Hermes in about 28.275 years before Jesus Christ. He suggests this regarding to his travels and of course, to historical writings and thesis.
    -28.275: Immortal kings were then living. Then after that divine Dynasty came the theocracy with mortal kings, and then a deluge. This about 10500 years before 0. Since, it seems the world have been cultivating wars. If now we consider the Osiris crime as a “war”, happening
    about -20.500, I let you imagine…
    I believe in the eventuality, that the world is far more old than we used to learn at school. I can feel it. From where would come the legends? Human’s imagination? I often heard that was just to fill a blank, before the question of God. But what about drawings in cavern, and ancient writings that talk about dynasties as real events, and not as cartoons? What about built sacred place all around the world?

    Whatever, the range you chose was enough sufficient… I just wanted to give an opinion, a vision not stopping the beginning of the civilization, 5000 years ago, nor -28.000 ago; but beyond. :)

    Good evening.

    [Reply]

  • Life is just too short.
    It can be beautiful, sometimes we get just a little taste of how amazing it can all be.
    It depends on how we tend to view and approach living.There are days when everything makes me happy, little things.Meeting nice people at the store, sunshine, food.It seems that every minute is precious, that I cant efford to waste it.Then there are days when everything goes bad, people tend to be rude, Im hungry, tired, behind the schedule.I just want the day to be over.
    It gets me thinking, if my approach would be different on the bad days could a make them better?Is being an optimist helpful?
    I have to continue learning how to be an optimist cos I was born with dark glasses on, always worrying and stressing. wish everyday was a good day, then life could be truly beautiful.You would probably say that I wouldnt appreciate the good days without the bad.But I have had my share of bad and now I just want the sun to shine, nice people to say hello, food to be delisious.

    [Reply]

  • http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=PToFY-Upaw0
    Elgar’s cello concert.
    Dear Francine, I have just read your story. I am sending you my best regards and wishes for a speed recovery. The Mother of a friend of mine had M.S. for more than 40 years. Never lose hope and medicine makes progress everyday. You are lucky you have your parents and your friends visiting you. And most of all you ..read and listen to music, which is an oasis of beauty in our lives. My prayers are with you.
    LOVE,
    Thelma

    [Reply]

  • Dear Francine,

    I was touched by your story.

    I have also been sick for some years from several things (but the worst is my backpain because of a discs that moves as it shouldn´t do).

    And one thing that has make it worse is that I abonded my path when I was 15, trying just to forget things and move on.
    But my path has chatch up with me the last years and now I know I have to follow my path ohterwise I´m not going to be better.

    And I want to live my life to the fullest I have realized, I have been a zombie for too long. I cannot live like that anymore.
    if people don´t agree wiht me I shouldn´t care, it´s MY life, and my feelings. They should bother how they live their life instead.

    I realized that one piece of my path is healing.
    Healing has made my back so much better and also right sort of training.
    But there are still days when I feel depressed because my back is never going to be completly whole.
    But I know that I have to accept this and live my life to my best potential, there are no options.

    I wish you the best in life Francine, and I will send you thoughts of light and healing.

    Love and courage
    Jessica

    [Reply]

  • Though I did not read every word of all the posts, I did scan enough to see that there is, in fact, a shift in consciousness going on right before our often shrouded eyes. We all feel it. It trudges along beneath the surface of what we say and what we write. Why must we allow its existence in disguise? Why do we feel we need to tiptoe around this shift? It is nothing to be ashamed of! My one request from all of you in 2009 is to speak of this shift of consciousness openly and honestly in as many avenues as you can as frequently as possible.

    I know we are all one… even the parts we don’t like:)

    [Reply]

Comment Page 2 of 2« Previous12

Leave a Reply