How many times did you reinvent yourself in your lifetime?
I’m asking this because I saw this week the new movie by Clint Eastwood the Gran Torino and I’ve been following Clint Eastwood since his beginnings as an actor in class-B spaghetti westerns.
In my book The Alchemist, Santiago, the shepherd boy, has to reinvent himself in order to get to his goal. I have also been in this situation and had to reinvent myself many times.
So now I would like to know about you: How many times have you re-invented yourself and in which situations?
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Santosh Kal war
You have a good name – a true warrior , aren’t you? -
Indeed that deserves a big clap, what will we do without the breath?
And you are right it does not matter whether people agree or not with you – you have to do what works for you -
Hope you had a good “change over”. ….there are answers, remember?
1- 10 or others…..
Have a nice week end everybody.
:)
I’m soon to be 38 and I’ve reinvented myself a few times, but presently I’m living a long reinvention process, more like a full metamorphosis.
Before, it was the slow, small changes due to emotional upheavals or social changes, like from school to work, to getting married, to being unemployed and changing professional direction or starting on a new hobby.
Two years ago I lost my husband and my job in a matter of months and decided to become a sworn translator. I discovered I needed to have a university degree, and thought: why not? That has taken me to be doing an Erasmus and living a students life wholly. I’m meeting hundreds of new persons and I know, that by the time I finish in two years time, what will come next will probably not have much to do with what I thought about 2 years ago. I will also be a completely different person :)
Dear all,
After reading all of your comments from top to bottom, I was truly amazed, inspired, suprised and also got good lessons… Thank you all.
What is re-invention?
-Is re-invention means to re-do, re-organize, re-create …?
-Is it related with personal life or with Nature?
OK, let me assume as many of us here are re-inventing about our own self.
As far as my understanding, Re-invention means to start something new. (Clap…)
Now, How do we re-invent?
Most of the times we do what we want to do, but many of the times we do not do what we really want to do.
This is the common human nature. We want to do something but we do not do that something simply because we have “valid reasons” infront of us.
Every moment of the time, we make decisions based on our experiences. Each time we keep on making the decisions- should i do it?, what shall i do ?, should i write or should i read…?
This could also be ex-cuse. Inventing and Reinventing…
When somthing is not working for us, we try to make secondary things…
Like life-Second life
do-redo
Well, the matter of the fact is that- I do not want to criticize anyone’s opinion or comment and it does not matter to me (if you disagree) You can always disagree with me…
Every ounce of breath we inhale is invention and every ounce of breath we exhale coule be re-invention.
For me, Personally- The above quotes says it all.
Thank you and Have a nice weekend. (To Paulo and To dear Paulo’s Bloggers, Readers…)
God bless you all !
Thank you Cindy, Nanci, Sheela, for your comments. It makes me feel good, too, to know that I am not the only one around who has a nomad living within my skin. I like to think of it as something hereditary, as Cindy says about her father and her grandfather, both having moved so very many times. For me, it is my great-grandfather with whom I identify. They say he came, as from out of nowhere, just drifted into town (which wasn’t really a town but a logging camp of lean-to’s and tents), and he never told anyone, not even his wife or his children in later years, where he had come from or where he had been. He was logger, thirty-two; my great-grandmother, the daughter of a friend he made there in one of the camps, was thirteen when he married her. This was not an unusual arrangement, nor was it considered “perverse” in any way back then. I always look at this picture I have of him that hangs on the wall – his stern, square chin, his pale blue eyes that always seem to be gazing at something in the distance – and I wonder what places those eyes saw? From what land, what people, did he emerge? How long was the journey that brought him here to this place, perhaps to this country from some far-off shore? My great-grandmother was Prussian; her family had sailed from the port of Odessa, likely trying to escape the violence and persecution of the time. But him? Maybe he was different. Maybe he just went because the road was open before him; maybe he travelled, not out of necessity, not out of fear, but out of sheer desire to be somewhere, anywhere, other then where he was.
I read something recently of the poet Rilke, that also struck a chord within my heart. In the introduction to a book I have of his “Duino Elegies,” Stefan Zweig is quoted as saying of the poet: “It was difficult to reach Rilke. He had no house, no address where one could find him, no home, no steady lodging, no office. He was always on his way through the world, and no one, not even he himself, knew in advance which direction it would take.” I wonder if Rilke was, perhaps, re-inventing himself too, with each new step he took….
re-inventing my self is the simplest way of escaping from a not so nice situation in my life. im doing it once a week even a little struggle of life for a day. a good laugh with friends is enough to re-invent my self. inviting positive energy to come close.
Hi Paulo!
First of all I have to thank you for all books you´ve been writing. I have read them all. You saved my soul by giving the Alcemist life. I had heard about you, bet never red anything when I got breastcancer in 2006. It was not treatable, the doctors first said, and I was devestated of course. There I was, 33 years, with three children and a husbond that was sick, and just made it through a lifethreatning desease.
I had heard about The Alcemist, but never really bother to read it. There were always soo many things to do, I had almost forgot my inner life and did not feed my soul with books anymore. A friend of mine gave me The Alcemist on cd and I started to listen at nights when I could not sleep. The story about Santiago changed my life in many ways. I got the courage to fight the cancer, and I also got inspiration to write my story. SO now I´m still alive, my husbond is healthy, our children is doing well and I am writing on my first book! Thanks to you ;-) I´m not good at english, so of course I´m writing in my own language (swedish).
Your question was if we have been reinventing our lifes. And yes, I have. Earlyer I was so sure about all things. I was pleased and thougt that everything was as good as it could be. Now I know, because I have seen the Death in my face, that I was all wrong. The meaning of life has come to me and my family. We have reconcidered our way of living, and we have found our way to live the real life.
I could certainly write a lot about these things, but I shall not. I´m not so good at translating my thoughts in english, so maybe I sholdn´t have done, but I felt that I had to thank you for your books.
Again, Thank you.
Regards Gry
P.S. My website is closed for other than invited. Of course you would be welcome to visit my site, but it is in swedish. D.S.
If i look back,and analise myself,I think that re-inventing myself was ciclically have done every 7 years.I new that theorie about ,every one chakra have it own development every 7 years,and now I have to establish that in my own case it`s really worcked like that.We now that the first `7 years ` they are important to became the strongest suport from our Family(in holistic way certinly) and more than that from our mothers because “the roote chakra” have to grow and became stability .After 7 years ,we achive a very important level “The Teenager Time”.With 21 I`ve closed the relationship to my first husband;seven years later I´ve done the same thing with my second relationship.Now I am again in a new cicle and I´ve started it, with to change again my priorities and to let something go that for 14 years ,was part and desire of my development proces”my studio”.Somehow I have to lugh about myself,and to be glad that this time I`ve didn`t changed again my husband!!!!
But to be searious again,I think we can find many cicles in our Lifes :the cicle every 10 years,the cicle every 18 years and the cicle every 3 years,the most important of that cicles are the `LIFE INSIDE`and all the experinces that we colect and the strong meening beside ALL THESE !
THANKS GOD TO GIVE US SUCH A MARVELLOUS,AND MERCIFUL VARIETY!
Love,
Mirela(the woman in elevator)
I know why I can’t get onto Seesmic. I need a new haircut. A 21st Century one.
Hi Paulo…
Just wanted to say that I really find your insights full of wisdom and well.. it really makes sense… =)
Anyways, I was just talking about re-inventing myself to a group of friends the other day. =).. that i needed a change of hairstyle… change of lifestyle and change of perspective…
My thoughts on re-inventing the self
As they say, the only constant thing in life is change. Change is really inevitable. I think i’ve change more than a couple of times in my lifetime but re-inventing myself doesn’t mean i let go of who i truly am … but instead re-inventing in the sense that i allow myself to be transformed into what i need to be at that point of my life without loosing the essense of me. =)
dear sir,
let me tell you that your book alchemist has inspired me to reinvent myself completely. initially i was leading a life as if i wes a feeded machine. now ,i have realised that dreams can come true.but i am facing lot of resisance right now… hope i will get over this also and follow my dreams….
dear Paulo,
i think i am about to reinvent myself today. i need some emergency reinvention if there’s such a thing as that. i am listening attentively to the sound of my heart breaking. the love i thought would last forever, betrayed me and left me shattered.
today is the day for a change. it will be tough but i will pray for a sunbeam to peep out and chase the dark clouds hovering above my head.
in spite of the negative reason for my reinvention, i will always believe that life and love will always be beautiful, your works have constantly reminded me of that.
please pray for Cris’ reinvention.
by the way thank you for the letter you sent to me with your autograph, i received it 2 days ago, God bless your good heart Paulo! thank you for granting my request. one day i will get the chance to personally thank u for changing the way i view my life, thank u again and more power.
Warm Regards,
Maria Criselda
Hello Fabricio,
Good to see you are from Rio,
I am not from Rio
But I live near a Rio
Are you from Copacabana?
Me, I am more from Copacabano.
Are you involved in the Hairdressing Business?
Because if you are, you can cast me out
I did cut a friend’s hair and that was the end of our friendship.
Come to think about it, I think I was just ahead of my time that’s all…..
To answer your question
No, I have not read it in the newspapers, I have read what you wrote, just wanted to know how good your English was that’s all. Ah Ah Ah! It is good to go International is not it? Just think about it for a moment, if we were not able to speak another language, we could not communicate with each other, that will be a real shame.
Vous m’avez bien fait rigoler, je vais passer une bonne journee.
I hope Paulo will answer your question Fabricio, have you noticed he likes to put us all on the floor however does not like to put himself on it…unless it has a carpet on it….oh oh oh
Beijos and hugs to you too. :)
I think we reinvent or change ourselves continuesly. The more openminded you are and open for new ideas, the more the oppertunity for grow or reinvention if you wish
I am currently in a process of re-inventing myself for the third time in terms of financial loss and way more often jobwise.
let’s see: i was a musician, playing in a band, recording albums, going on tour. then the band broke up and i had to start all over. so i was studying business and computer science, i worked in the venture capital market, the market collapsed, all my money was gone and i started a band again, recorded an album but the band split up as well. i then had to reinvent myself again, started in the motorsport industry, licensing, event management, then manager of a race team. then i quit the job and took part in the experimental witch project and i won with my movie. and currently i am reinventing myself for what is about to come next. we will see. thanks
Penso que somos obrigados a nos reiventar sempre que nos deparamos com situações inusitadas, singular e que a vida nos impõe. Fatos novos que vai acrescentar ou tirar algo de nós. Também reinventamos nossa própria história de acordo com a situação. Eu tive que reiventar-me totalmente: reiventar minha vida, meus planos, meus sonhos, minha história, meu eu… quando da perda do grande amor de minha vida há cinco anos e custou-me muita dor… seis meses de cama, a vida sem sentido…meus filhos pra criar… tudo nublado, triste. Tive apoio da família, filhos, amigos e pessoas especiais que estavam no momento exato, no ponto estratégico para fazer a “ponte” pro meu reiventar. Hoje consigo enxergar-me e ver quanta diferença entre aquela mulher e a mulher de hoje. Observo que depois de todo aquele sofrimento hoje sou muito melhor como gente, como pessoa, como profissional, como mãe e principalmente como mulher. Ele, o grande amor de minha vida, pai dos meus maravilhosos filhos se foi… foram dois anos de choro e luto… e quando penso nele agora sinto muita PAZ e a certeza de sua presença em minha vida, e muita, muita traquilidade. A vida com ele custou-me caro demais… tratamento psiquiátrico há 06 anos, pânico…, depressão, totalmente anulada como mulher e muito rivotril e antidepressivos. Hoje estou curada daquela “obcessao que tinha por ele” e muito, muito feliz com meus filhos. Desculpe-me, lindo mestre, mas acho que desabafei e falei detalhes muito pessoais de minha vida. É isso… tenho novas perspectivas para meu futuro, meu filho mais velho de 16 anos entrando na universidade(engenharia) muito amor para dar ao próximo, muita alegria e gargalhada para curtir com minha família e uma lista extensa de livros maravilhosos para ler, além de amar muito meu trabalho e as pessoas que me rodeiam. Bjs no seu coração, lindo mestre.
I do not really think we reinvent ourselves, Paulo unless we make a decision and committment to do so… We change a little every day until one day we need to overcome an obstacle and then we use our skills that we daily modify to overcome and reach the required objective…
In the film Clint did exactly this… bit by bit, lesson by lesson he modified his beliefs and behaviours and did he really change? I personally don’t think so but he found a different path… all the little days add up to make us more aware of our choices… His choice fulfilled the objective of teaching others about the better way too!
But it is possible to decide and make the change in our lives but it is still in the light of that which makes us us… our path, our experiences combined with our personality,
From Vanessa,… and thank you for being you Paulo!
Dear Paulo,
Hi! I am glad that you´ve asked this question.
I re-invent myself every single day, i try to be different each day, to enjoy the day and make it as memorable as possible. This of course does not mean that i get up each morning and tell myself that i have become a new person. I tend to reflect on the situations which i had to pass through the day before and try to find out if my actions and experiences resemble those in the past. If i see some parallels, i make it a point to re-invent myself, meaning to be the person that i actually am and not the one which i tend to be in certain situations.
Like most of the people, i think that re-invention takes place when one has had to face a certain situation which one was not expecting to face e.g the loss of a loved one or in my case, the aim to be successful in the things which i love to do.
Lots of love to everybody in here
Beijos!
God bless
dear paulo,
i don’t think that re-invevting happens on a specific day or a certain hour,as a mattar of fact,it happens to you gradualy after passing through some experiences,then you find ur self in a new state of mind that leads you to change certain things in your life or even change the way you look and deal with life.
this may happen once in a life time or more,but the unfortunate ones
are those who are not aware of it.
with love
Hello Marie-Christine,
I Also Read this News and got very Surprised with it!
Like everyone herer, I love Paulo´s Books and Work, and I am Already Happy with the “Witch of Portobello” Project and the movie “Veronika decides to Die”. I am from Rio de Janeiro, so is very good to see a Brazilian doing Sucess.
Paulo Answered my question? Where?
Big hugs for you, and Paulo, whe are waiting for the Aswer!
Nossa,nem me lembro qnts vezes eu tive de me reinventar…Ja fui uma menina rocera,caipira,criada no meio das galinhas,depois de repente me mudei pra uma cidade de litoral,onde havia mt coisa,menos galinhas,tive que me adaptar as pessoas,aos garotos,as amigas…depois de conhecer td isso, aquilo me pareceu tauo pequeno…tive que reinventar outra melissa,uma melissa faminta de vida,de experiencias,fugi de casa super cedo,era mt nova e prefiro nem comentar minha idade, acabei passando fome,dormindo nas ruas,e acabou nascendouma melissa triste,sem esperanca,que aprendeu que a vida eh mt dura, e pra te falar a verdade,tenho aprendido a me reinventar ate hj,e nesse exacto momento,estou me reinventando,uma mulher de quase trinta anos,que acaba de sair de uma relacao super dependente,onde eu podia ser tudo,menos eu mesma, e agora estou tomando minha propria forma outra vez,meus gostos,minhas cores,minhas roupas,velhos costumes antes abandonados….enfimmm
Fabricio
Paulo, I have read in the newspaper to day that they are going to make a film of your book “11 minutes.”?
Can you tell us a bit about that in your blog?
Lots of kisses.
Is that true Paulo?
Thanks for answering Fabricio’s questions?
:)
James Joyce talked about epiphanies. There are moments in life when one has to change, be it by inner or outer reasons. Moreover, one of the laws of physics is that matter does not disappear but changes. In my opinion, these epiphanies are the path towards reinventing. I do not think that a person reinvents him/herself all of a sudden. A long chain of emotions stirred by many a situation, action contributes to this change. I am also of the opinion that people cannot reinvent themselves at 100% too often. Changing some traits of their character, personality may happen as often as needed but, reinventing one’s self takes time and effort.
The epiphanies that brought me to change a small part of me and in the end to the reinvention of my self are the following:
1. When, as a child returning gladly from a visit paid to one of our relatives, my father made a comment on their falsity. That was when I asked myself for the first time ‘what if things and people are not as they appear to be?’. From then on I paid a little more attention to everybody and everything that surrounded me.
2. Then, during the middle school years, when being too shy and having a too tough Maths teacher I thought I am not good at taking up a realistic section at high school. Only after having taken private lessons in Maths, I realised that not always what the others see in you is true. The most important thing is to know yourself very well and to know that if you want something then it is all possible.
3. Growing up many a times my friends betrayed my trust. I was disappointed in them and I realised that true friendship is very rare and very precious. This was in fact the moment when I saw a bitter truth: when you have to face hardships, you are alone.
These are the major epiphanies in my life. I am sure there have been more but these contributed to my reinventing myself.
I think the first change that each and every of us has to face is birth. You have to reinvent yourself in order to survive.
Then, I had to change drastically the way of relating with people. I had to stop projecting myself in them and to take them as different persons with different needs, goals and ways of achieving them. I had to learn to be suspicious with human whimsies and to start wearing a mask in some situations. I could not be anylonger openhearted and light-hearted as before.
I reinvented myself for the third time when my paternal grandparents died, both of them at the same time. This was their wish: to die together because they loved each other too much to bear the disappearance of the other and universe fulfilled their wish to my grief. But it was then when I realised that love is all that matters, is the resort that makes things work. It was then when I had to come to terms to my torn down universe because I had the feeling that a whole world died together with them. I had to reconstruct my world without my grandparents, without their caring and full of wisdom words. And I have done it but a part of my soul is still grey because they took the light from it and I do not want to take it back. I leave it as a gift from me for them because they gave me more than this.
Another complete reinvention of my self took place when I had to leave my country. My roots are still there and my body is here. I am like a tree bent down by storms which does not want to be enrooted and still finds it difficult to live like that. I am like a pearl tightly closed in the shell which awaits to be found and valued. As an alien in a foreign country you carry with you all the mistakes ever done by your nation. You are judged as a group and you as individual do not exist. I had to find a way of making myself notice as an individual, as a person who does not bear the guilt of every crime made by hers conational.
Now, I am in a full process of reinvention. I have to reinvent myself as a mother since a year and some ago I gave birth to a baby boy. I have to learn another kind of responsibility. I have to teach him the first steps as a real human with a heart filled with humanity and love. I hope I shall do it this time too.
Paulo, saiu no jornal hoje que irão fazer o filme do seu livro “11 minutos”!
Será que voce poderia escrever algo a respeito no seu blog?
Abraços grandes!
Dear Paulo,
I just finished reading your novel “The Zahir”. and I must say i am feeling re-inveted by myself. I was also a kind of affected by the zahir. My girlfriend had died of an accident just a year ago and i was again again feeled by her feeling. In other word i must say i was deteriorating my self. I could not think of anything except my zahir.
But one line in yur book stating, “those people are worst who says they are suffering for the sake of the person they love.” It also says does our loved one want that we suffer because of themm and the answer is obviously no.
I am also trying to forget my history. I am going to stop acting who i was and lived who i am.
Thank you for your brilliant work which changed me. pls reply sir
I reinvented myself after I almost died. A few years back I suffered from anorexia. It was a time where I felt severly depressed and in no control of my life. There was a point during that time when I realized that I had the ability to redefine myself. I realized that I didn’t want to die and had so much to live for. It was a turning point. Since that decision was made I have been actively trying to find myself. I have found that the more I find out about myself, the more I can help others. I don’t really see it as inventing parts of me that never existed. It is simply seeing those parts in a new light that is vastly different than the one I saw before.
Shankar Ramachandra -
1.We have so far established that we respect each other opinions.That’s great!
2.I forgive you for the spelling “mistake” of Prince. I did not know that Buddah was the Royal Prince Siddhartha before he attained gyann. You have enriched my day, thank you.
3.I apologize for spelling Gandhi wrongly, goodness me I certainly don’t want to start a “furore” amongst the mainstream media.I will try to remember next time I refer to Gandhi in a more respectful manner I will use the term Gandhiji.
You did write in English, did not you? Or am I able to understand Hindi without knowing it?:) Sanskrit …sans le script.
What about calling you Shankarji only when you call me Marie-Christineji? Then we will be on equal terms, perfect balance.
PS I don’t like to make a fuss of it – my name is Marie-Christine not Marie-Christie. However, as Paulo said in his book – a soul has no name – so I settle for that.
Have a good day and keep on smiling with those bright eyes of yours.
Love
Dear Paul,
I am not native English speaker. But if I understand correctly what you mean by “re-inventing”, yes I have reinvented myself a few times in my life, which can be considered as milestones or turning points. However, have I discovered myself? Not yet.
Is self-discovery a life long process? I believe so. I hope each time we will discover a new side of ours or a reality in our lives which calls for a change, we will always find the ability and courage to re-invent ourselves.
Love,
Burcu
Reinventing oneself is I think a permanent state in which a human being should live. For myself it’s very important to not take myself to seriously because every time I do this I realize that I cannot be responsible and shapeless because reinventing is like shape-shifting. Responsibility comes with knowledge and being aware of oneself it’s being responsible of oneself.
It’s important to think about relativity in every little thing we have, do, make, think, feel. Total awareness is the most we can obtain. This is relative.
The Nature,our Mother,show signs for us,transforming all things,every day. We,her children,must follow her example, and change us to better, every day too…
Re-inventing myself.. You know, after I read the book ‘The Alchemist’ I didn’t know then that it would ignite a flame that I kept trying to extinguish through what had been being created in me, a passion that I had enjoyed for sometime. It never dawned on me what I was doing until I felt a piece of me slowly start to disappear and die. I worked as a Graphics Designer for a company that was a good reputable company and a very comfortable job to do. Just design. I was good at it, if not, probably great. I got compensated very well and I could have just done that. But, it’s amazing, how, looking back on the book and it’s characters, the shop keeper had stopped pursuing is goal. His dream. I noticed there will always be a sadness if one doesn’t pursue their passion.
The past year came and as I stood at the edge of it ready to turn around, that quiet dream presented it self in all it’s excitement. I was presented with my dream. My goal. Which I had been pursuing as a quiet hobby, never really considering it for real. I did something most would never do. I prayed, and then I jumped into the new year. I quit my Design job, which freaked a lot of people out (including myself.). and I started on my journey into the world of music. I’ve been writing and pursuing my music career as a self produced musician/songwriter and I’ve not been more at peace in my whole life. .
As in the Alchemist: “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself, and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”
And I do everyday..
a long time ago I read “the unbearable lightness of beeing” by Milan Kundera. I remember bits and peaces of that book and one thing I remember is the analogy of life beeing the scetch of a painter. Once noted down it is done, you cannot change it. Maybe you move on for the next draft on the search of a perfect painting. Jet I believe in two things:
One – In every sketch we draw, we will realise our own handwriting, our own style. It happens to me when I try to draw and I try to draw in a different way and I cannot. We realize it when we see a painting by a well known artist that we have not seen before and we know “this must be a painting by soandso”. Sometimes I get stuck within myself and I wished I was someone else, I could act in a different way, I could leave my shadow aside and jet I cannot.
Two – maybe Leonardo once finished the Mona Lisa thought that that was it. The perfect painting- Like thousand and thousands of people that have passed by it at Louvre. I doubt it. I believe he saw all those little things that could have been done better. Maybe we want us, want our lifes to be perfect. Maybe that is about re-inventing. It will never be perfect.
That´s good because it moves us to try to be better next time. But maybe there is a point when we are fed up with it like someone said above: “I will never make it perfect, so I just leave it”.
Personaly I believe I can live with imperfect paintings. I don´t want to live with re-inventing myself again and again though, if I realize that with 46 I am drawing the same shit that I did when I was 15. In this sence re-invention is a wast. Something that has been there before. We do not need to re-invent the wheel. It is there for thousands of years. To use a modern expression: Our personal re-invention needs some kind of innovation other wise it is useless. I am working on that at this very moment. Maybe your next question coud be: what is the key to innovation?
I reinvent about every 5 years. I don’t plan it that way it just happens. It also seems to coincide with arranging my home. As soon as every piece of furniture has found it’s perfect place, every picture, every nic nak, every tool and junk drawer item is finally at home I reinvent myself and usually need to move housholds again. For this reason I travel light.
I think we all need a new version of ourselves. Some aspect that has been in the shadows and now needs to come out and take center stage for awhile.
I’m not sure wether it can be called “re-inventing”
but I know there have been important mile-stones in my life
and that they have changed me.
I don’t think it is so much (at least not in my case)
a conscious choice of changing, but it is the situation
and the consequences that have lead to a richer view
upon my world.
I know persons who say they don’t want to change,
I say it is impossible… if you don’t change you die.
I certainly know the need to change,
but the courage?
120 comments, you’re an avid reader if you read them all!
I think that sometimes I am guilty of doing this too much… well, not so much reinventing myself, but trying to change or conform to suit someone else.
I believe that we all do this – especially when ti comes to love. We change, if not entirely re-invent ourselves to try and suit the person we desire, or to try and be more like someone we know that they desire, or have been with.
It is very important to continue to learn and grow, and to never be stagnant, but also, it is very important to not loose ourselves as we try to reinvent. Someone who does not love us for who we are does not deserve to love a version of us that is reinvented to suit another.
I always leave the answering to your questions till the last minute, because I find your questions challenging and important to have an actual well thought out answer to – for my own sake, of course. (I act like this with everything in my life, i leave everything till the last minute, to make sure I act the right way.)
Because of this, so many times I do not end up answering at all, which always frustrates me.
So there, at least there’s now an answer for why I often don’t answer. Again, I will think about this, and will hopefully come back to you by Sunday.
Have a lovely rest of the week.
Love, Liisa
Hello everyone,
This is my first time posting here. Before I go into my answer I just wanted to say that I cannot believe that one of the authors I respect so much is such a down to earth person. It makes sense, it’s just inspiring. Thank you Paulo.
Thinking back I have had to reinvent myself at least twice already if not more. I’m almost 29 years old now, while I was in college I went through a period of time when I stopped caring about myself and the world around me. I became extremely depressed and I was not aware of how selfish I was acting. A friend looked at me and said ‘Sara, you’re becoming a burden on everyone around you. You need professional help’. At the time this seemed very cruel but I now realize he as just being honest. I had to step outside of myself for a while and really look around and realize how miserable I was. I did get professional help via therapy. I was diagnosed by three different doctors as Bipolar II. After a few years of therapy and a lot of research I accepted the fact that I did have a chemical unbalance and that a small amount of medication with continued therapy to deal with any life issues could correct that. After a while I stopped feeling like a clown around groups of friends and stopped crying for days with a feeling of hopelessness. I wasn’t replaced by an empty feeling, I was just Sara. A nice, almost balanced person. I am still a bit emotional and I don’t think that will ever go away but I can live my life now and I look forward to the future. It was the first time in my life that I ever felt like I had a grasp on things, I didn’t feel like I was just floating around doing what I was supposed to. I never realized everyone didn’t cry for days or suffer from the extreme mood swings I had. I was reinvented as myself.
The other memorable reinvention was a little over a year ago. I had been sucked into a very negative relationship for two years. I was with someone who was pessimistic, who did not like to leave the house, and who was almost positively cheating on me. If nothing else he enjoyed hours of looking at hookers on the internet which did not make me feel great. I have no problem with pornography, but this was to an obsessive level and these were women nearby. That is not ok. One day I realized that I had lost myself. I had absorbed myself so much in his life and taking care of him that I didn’t have anything going for me. I worked and then came home waiting for him to return so that I could make him dinner. I sat on the couch next to him while he was on his computer all night waiting for attention. I gave up party invitations and lost touch with friends because he never wanted to go out. We also both got fat.
Through work I had started hanging out with other people my age and it triggered memories of the life I used to have. I remembered that I liked to go out and do new things, I loved to smile and I was not ready to be a housewife especially to someone who never wanted children. I came home one day, did the laundry cleaned the house and left him. That’s the short version. It was pretty ugly.
Now I have an amazing boyfriend who appreciates me for the person I am. We compliment each other’s strengths and seem to have opposite weaknesses. I help him come out of his shell in social situations and he helps me go back into mine a little when I overstep boundaries. we just got back from a trip to New Zealand, we sky dived and white water rafted, we saw ever site that we had time to see. He has been so supportive and thoughtful that it’s hard to believe he exists. Previously I never wanted to go back to school and now I am enrolled at BU to finish my degree and move on to my masters. I want either of us to support our future family. Now I am reinvented as a better version of myself with more confidence, grace, and a supportive partner.
Sorry for writing so much I had a lot to say.
-Sara
Dear Paul from Austria
Thank you for your kind words I really appreciate it. Bless you and everybody close to you.
Do
A bit out of the topic, but – today I watched this movie, which Paulo was talking about – the Gran Torino. I will be honest, I never really liked those Western movies he did in the past. Maybe, because I was a child and didn’t understand them, maybe there just was something missing for me. Whatever the reason – I can say – I had prejudices when a friend gave it to me about 2 weeks ago. And today, I had the opportunity (free time, and the launching will) to watch it. And I would have to say – I was impressed (positively, of course).
~*~*~*~
I liked a quote in the movie, that I, after hearing it, wrote down on a piece of paper. It went something like this: “Every tool is made for doing something. Every tool has a purpouse.” (I can’t say, if these were the exact words, because I don’t have the piece of paper with me right now, but the idea of it stayed the same). These were Clint Eastwood words when he spoke about the tools he had in hes garage. (And there were a lot.)
I just think that it represented something more wide – in the world overall, and also in human race.
We all have a purpose in life.
And we all serve a certain something to the world. Different people, different ways to serve.
~*~*~*~
Marika from Holland: loved Your quote!
Bob: I’m glad You seeked inside Yourself and found the technique specially for You. I think we all need to listen to ourselves more. And sometimes it is more efficient, if we come up with our own ways to do that.
Shankarji: ;) If I knew this before, to pay my respects, I would of used it. Thank You for showing the unique way of Your surrounding culture.
(Ok still posting. Ps! Good to know that Thelma is still around. :))
Have a great day, everyone!
Love,
Liina L.
Marie Christie,
Two things:
1. I respect your opinion … maybe I have not path breaking career shifts yet…so am not able to realise the impact.
2. And “prine” was my bad…I meant PRINCE…the Budhha was the royal prince Siddhartha before he attained gyaan.
3. On the same note…I have to humbly but responsibly point out that you’ve spelt Gandhi wrong…your spelling reflects a very unparlimentary notion in Hindi…if it were seen in mainstream media it would create a furore :). And the common way to address someone respectfully in the Hindi language specifically and in India in general is to suffix the name of the person with ‘ji’….so Gandhiji is more respectful. Similarly…if you call me Shankar …we are talking on the same level…but if you address me as Shankarji…you are actually making me float in the air!!!
Sr.Coelho:
Yo lo hago cada día. Cada día intento ser la persona que me gustaría ser, una persona sonriente, amable, dispuesta `para todo el que me necesite, perfecta ama de casa, esposa y madre. Me gustaría ser, como le digo a mi psiquiatra, una mujer dulce y delicada. Sufro un TOC severo, muy grave dice mi médico, y cada vez que estoy mejor, cada vez que leo algo bello, que me hace pensar en todo lo que tengo, que es tanto, me digo a mí misma que a partir de ese momento seré otra persona. Pero aún no lo he conseguido, me temo que es imposible.
To me change and personal development has been a continuing process throughout my whole life. But four experiences or situations have been major turning points in my life. First getting to know that I was pregnant on my 18th birthday – two weeks after my boyfriend had travelled halfway around the world to study for a year. The second turning point was getting out of my first marriage to start a new life. The third turning point was feeling a complete unity with a tree on my 39th birthday in 1999. This extraordinary experience led me to the spiritual path I have followed since. The fourth major turning point was getting the power to cure people from very bad diseases and injuries. The initiation happened as a shockingly powerful experience after prayers in the Nidaros Cathedral and contact with a lappish (Norwegian native) healer in 2002. Looking at the path in retrospect, I can see that so many of the small experiences and the major turning points are connected, and they lead to a destination that has to do with openminded and tolerant Christianity.
Hola,
Bonita pregunta.
Al pricinpio quería ser yo. De pequeña quería ser azafata, policía, misionaria o enfermera. Al cumplir los 18 años quería ser periodista, psicólogo o comadrona.
En fin, poco después me encontré con un argentino y me enamoré. Entonces mi carrera cambió y elegí estudiar filología hispana. Por haberme enamorado con un argentino y porque mi madre siempre me presionaba para que no eligiera una profesión en el campo de la sanidad mental ni física cambié de idea. Pero al haber estudiado español todavía no sabía qué iba a hacer profesionalmente. El idioma me gustaba mucho, eso sí. Pero por lo demás no sabía si quería ser traductor, intérprete, profesor…. Tras mis estudios solicité y me hice profesora. Pero la verdad es que siempre me sentía muy insegura y no me apasionaba de verdad. Tras unos fracasos y éxitos en ese campo paré un momento para tener hijos y cuidarlos. Eso me gustaba mucho pero también quería ser más que eso. Entonces decidí cambiar de rumbo y estudiar para ser ‘counselor’ Eso me gustó mucho. Solicité en un colegio para una función que era hablar con niños que se portaban mal en clase. No me querían porque yo quería trabajar sólo tres días a la semana. Unos días más tarde me llamaron para preguntarme si no quería trabajar en una escuela nueva como profesora. No de español, sino para darles clases prácticas de cosas domésticas, como limpiar la casa, hacer compras, cocinar etc. Acepté ese trabajo. Desde allí crecí mucho. Los niños eran difíciles, y los colegas también. hice diversos cursos. Y ahora también hago coaching de colegas y niños a través vídeo. Es apasionante y muy eficaz.
Y así con muchos rodeos encontré mi pasión.
Un cordial abrazo,
Mirjam
What an awesome topic. I’m asking myself this question~ would re-inventing myself be some form of reincarnation?
Dear Paulo,
first of all your book The Alchemist is great and of course the best example for one’s re-invention within short period of time.
When I’m thinking about myself its really difficult to say how many times exactly it have been (because there are to many ;-) ) but it’s a great question to think about oneself. I think some of my re-inventions I’ve noticed and worked for it to re-invent myself, but there’re still others I first didn’t notice (just with help of other people). I think we re-invent since we’re born, some of us more others may be not at all.
During my schooldays my Dad was always looking for better schools for me, with better education,….so I changed many school, I’ve learned to loose friends or to find new. Then we immigrated to another country and of course I was forced to re-invent myself too. The first time I started to think about it was after my parents divorce when I was 16. Thereafter many things happened which affected my life very strong like a domino effect. So after gaping at my ceiling for one year I began to work on these consequences and re-invent myself and I managed things anybody had expected from me. The other great re-invention was when I broke up with my boyfriend after 6 years. Anyone couldn’t understand why I was so energetic and happy after a break-up. Some years later when I was sure to have found real love (and he wasn’t) I was forced again to thing about this experience in my life and what I should learn from it. But even if it was very hard to loose love I’m happy about having had this experience because it’s a great feeling to love someone really even for a short period of time. And probably there is somewhere another real one and not the “fake” real one ;-)
One other aspect in my life is the 4 mixed different nations my parents gave to me, I had to learn about where I belong to. That fact and all previous experiences forced me to find the way to myself and for it I re-invented many times. But I’m happy about it because it helped me to be the person who I am today. I’m still young and I’m sure there will be more re-inventions in my life and I’m looking forward to it.
But there is still one thing I would like to say: in the most difficult situations of my life your books helped me to get through. Thank You Paulo!
Shankar Ramachandran
Your two comments, made me really think about what I aspire in life. It is PEACE above everything else.
Although I do not agree with what you are saying,here “career shifts as mentioned here (I’m not taking it personally either by the way) does not really fall under re-inventing in the large abstract sense…maybe that is just re-skilling”.
From my own point of view, changing jobs have helped me to understand myself better, they are part of my life experiences, the tools that have moulded my way of thinking.Just waking up everyday is different, is not that re-inventing yourself?
I believe you have to experience the good and the bad in order to find the balance.
Granted, some people are slower than others at grasping the concept.
Ghandi for example was quite prone to extravagances with clothes when he was in England, he opted for the cloth loin later on.
“Your view is that re-invention happens when there is a thorough complete shake-up on your thought patterns when you ascend from mediocrity to higher planes you realise that only much after you have done so ….not during the process itself.” There is some truth in that for me.
As Maya Angelou said “When you know better, you do better.”
What is the meaning of”prine” by the way? I cannot find it in the dictionary? “Buddah himself was a “prine” before and looking at the deplorable inequalities made a decision….”
I don’t know what Buddah was thinking, however I can relate to “the deplorable inequalities” in the world, and Peace is my priority for my children, grandchildren and the children of this world.
Thank you for being.
On analysis of attitudes:
In the book “I’m Ok, you’re OK” by Thomas A. HArris MD, the nature of the child-adult-parent is looked at in terms of the transactions we make as we grow up.
Re-invention is probably a natural occurance as part of the adult fine tuning the data recorded as child and then parent (not parent necessarily as in having a child).
Furthermore, it is the implications that are discussed for the social development of humanity with respect to this c-p-a model that is fascinating.
For example, Harris writes: Winners or Losers?
“Hamlet’s alternatives were ‘to be or not to be’. OUr national alternatives are believed to be ‘to win or not to win’ the struggle [against world communism].
…and that
winners and losers have predominated as dominant models throughout history of mankind – in terms of evolving and survival.
….but now
the context has changed… and new possibilities mean that co-existence is actually now a possibility based on reality.
the brain which developed in early response to issues of survival might now turn to new tasks, to enjoy the fullest of human spiritual capabilities.
so, the model of “im ok, you’re ok”
[also read Satish KUmar: you are therefore I am"]
is now well within reach…
in reaching forward to explore the new openings and possibilities, the work is done by individuals together in that society – not some corporate society.
“the exploration can be made only as individuals are emancipated from the values and methods of the past.”
…and …
society can not change until persons change.
….he concludes
that hope in the future is based on the fact that we have seen persons change. how they have achieved this, is relative to the re-inventions of the child-parent-adult transactions.
rather than one of you’re ok, im not ok.. et al.
they are creating the im ok, youre ok model…
… an important conclusion in the manual for the survival of mankind.
Hi Paulo, thanks for sharing your path with us.
Great men are those who can share.
I would answer “every day” if not “every second” to your question.
Re-inventing does not necesseraly implies that you’ve been emotionnally upset. If you just observe an idea without attempting to analyse it, let it get through you and you mind will instantly be changed. The woman I was at 9.59am would no longer the same at 9.10am when I would have submit the mail. When you’ve become aware of you’re inner center you could re-invent yourself anytime. It costs a lot to find out the center, but the journey is worth to be made.
Re-inventing is power of life and we all have this power. The problem with most people is that they do not dare to re-invent themselves. They usually await for personnal disaster (disease, emotionnal separation, being bankrupt, )to leap at the chance of re-inventing themselves. There is so much to say about re-inventing.
With love,
Yasmine
In our software profession, we have something called refactoring which we can apply to our life as well. I feel reinventing is simply a natural consequence of simplification and refactoring – when we discard the irrelevant – what remains blooms into what matters.
This of course is harder than it seems to be because we find it so hard to let go :)
hey paulo,
To re-inventing your own self can only be possible in a particular situation; the most ideal and prefect in which everyone comes across his reflection- the real him. This ideal situation varies from person to person; some can find their real being in sacred places like mosques and temples however others come close to their selves in mountains, trees or may be along rivers. Primarily, the nature is the source of self contact. For me, I re-invent myself every time I got an opportunity to sit in silence, peep into my heart, and discover myself more closely hence finally, come out with a more refined and more strengthen woman with better self understanding and ability to explore more about what is going around me.
Thank you all. Thank you Liina.L. for … looking for me! Thank you Paul from Austria for ..confessing that you ‘bite more’.. although I do not see it that way. It is the need for more Light in our lives.
Clint Eastwood’s film the ‘Madison Bridge’ with Meryl Streep was a miracle for me. My husband used to like his ..spaghetti western films. With the .. ‘Bridge’ he has passed in the history as a tender, faithful, elegant lover. ;] I think, he did not re-invent himself, he has just … openly revealed his soul!
I put the above question into my mind and .. I let it ..mature, since there was no hurry. It is the ‘question of the week’!!
Since I was a child I wanted order and tidiness around me. You could see from our ..room. Half, my sister’s, everything up-side-down. My desk with the books and writing books in order! My dolls and my music books too.. Why ?? I think, there was so much going into my .. head that I wanted a steady and sound .. platform. To …look around and ‘anchor’ myself. To leave my mind travel but my … world to be a safe harbour. Even my … external appearance! When I see photos of me as a child, teenager, adult or … Grandmother, I look almost the … same! I hate changes. Not that I ‘like’ myself so much, but in order to …. recognise me, looking into the mirror! Inside, I know, everything changes every minute. Our mind never rests. Never ceases … creating. We create our small world using the colours and brush of our souls. We ‘inwardly’ listen to our Soul’s music and dance with it! We live and love and think according to up- to -the -minute ourselves and re-inventing it every minute. We build our … bridges, we try to find a door to our ‘walls’ or open a window to the ..LIGHT. Our role, may not change dramatically, I am just a …wife, a mother and a grandmother, but I hope I am not a dull one!! ;] We are the TOTAL of our past … lives, adding every day continually and … eternally. To become the … LIGHT is the end.
LOVE,
Thelma
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