The every day masters – Part 2

Paulo Coelho

Here is one of the entries of my friend’s diary about the every day masters

Accepting yourself

I found out who I am by looking at others. I am afraid of not being as good as they think I am, but I believe they all think this about themselves. During the time that I kept this diary, I finally accepted that I am brave enough to feel fear and to see myself without any artifices. I feel secure enough to feel insecure.

I discovered that people try to project a lot of their own insecurity onto you, just as you do with them. They try to diminish you because they feel small, try to intimidate you because they are not convinced that they are capable.

Tomorrow, I’ll post here another entry.

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Comments

  1. andrea says:

    Nossa, eu ja tinha pensado nisso antes porem agora eu sei que a maneira como trato algumas pessoas tem a ver com a minha propria inseguranca, sinto medo nao sinto medo do medo, sinto remorso pelas injusticas que ja cometi causadas pela minha inseguranca:(

  2. Anna M says:

    We should always keep in mind when other people try to intimidate us, by affecting our insecurities – which we al have – that all human beings are born good, I mean, the human nature IS good.
    When children are raised by their families, they don’t just become adults, but they also gain a personality which is conceived by the way they were raised. Every person you might call mean or like someone said “evil people” are just people like ourselves who had tough experiences in the past, and are filled with RAGE, to themselves and to the world. They will try to make you feel like a loser just to feel themselves like winners. It’s our choice to fill ourselves with rage back, or just keep in mind who we truly are, and give them always love in response… Afterall, that’s probably what they missed during they’re childhood – love !!
    I mean, there’s also other people who aren’t mean, but just insecure, and they will try to make you feel insecure too, to lift themselves up. You can sense this and give love in response too.

    Lov u all,

    Anna

  3. austere says:

    A salute!

    Will take from it what I will.

  4. [...] The every day masters – Part 2 Paulo Coelho Here is one of the entries of my friend’s diary about the every… [...]

  5. Mariessima says:

    Wow..this idea speaks to me and about me.

  6. orly says:

    so many people with their low self esteem sometimes manifest it by screaming or lowering others their self esteem by ofending them and telling them those un plesent comments,,,,
    and only when u find out whats going on with them- than its easier to deal with this kind of situation- by building this special WALL- which helps one to know that weakness,,,
    i have known a few of these kind,, and it took me a long time to learn than I AM FINE and its their problem,,,
    and since than all my life has been changed,,,,

  7. Alexandra says:

    I am sure nobody is sure 100% .Everybody have some feelings of insecurity ,in some moments.Is true that focusing on others help us feeling better.I remember when I thought I am fatty,so avoid to go to pool.Once,I went with a friend.I was almost faint from laugh,for there were so many much uglier and fatt than me.Nobody was perfect,if u looked better.After that,I was glad I went,and never avoid pool or bath suit.Sure,I try to keep myself in shape,as much I can.

  8. wendylei says:

    Morning from china! Paul you are brave enough to public this entry in your forum,I wish one day I can be special enough that my work can be selected from many that you want to share here.
    Have a bright day!

    Lei

  9. Nancy says:

    Jenovia, insightful comment on people’s negativity. My spirit feels refreshed I think I have given people’s words too much weight.

  10. Buen tema la inseguridad y la forma en como te ven los demás.
    Recuerdo que la primera vez que llegué a la clase de informática me quedé de pie esperando que llegara el profesor para que me asignara un sitio, cuando me vio pensó que era una inspectora, así me lo confesó cuando cogimos confianza en la cena de fin de curso.
    Las personas te ven distinto de como eres tu realmente, quizás ven una parte que tu no ves. Aun así no eres como te ven y tampoco como te ves tu quizás la visión perfecta sería mezclar las dos partes.

  11. Irina Black says:

    Borders.By accepting the world,in which I live,my surroundings-I accept what’s happening around.Any “correlations” can be done by analysing “the whole picture”.By doing some “impruvements”,the most difficult for me-to find out,where the Help turns into the Interference.Sometimes, I start to live somebody’s life,leaving somebody “unemployed”.From..to..

  12. THELMA says:

    When we know who we are and are brave, there is nothing that can affect us and our Way.
    We are the microcosmos, the image of God into Creation. We have the spark of Light inside us. We have come to fulfill our destiny, our journey and return to our true home.
    We must protect ourselves from Evil people and evil thoughts, just by being all White, all LOVE. Thus Evil will not find a place to .. prosper.
    LOVE,
    Thelma

  13. Catherine says:

    OK – I’m not entirely sure if I should write this – but here goes..
    some motherly advice – words of wisdom – granted to the next generation…

    when my ma started going for job interviews at the late age of 30+ (mother of two children until then) , she was naturally terrified.. and full of the concerns of ‘they are better’, and all that mind torture..
    by the time i was approaching going for job interviews – I was hearing how my ma had mastered the fear…
    that you just imagine that person as being an equal human – [for her it was imagining them on the toilet - though i never could grapple with that concept quite so fruitfully ;o)]
    and so with this technique – and a lifetime of learning how also to reflect or deflect or ignore or rise above rather, the negative projections from others …
    i’d say im now the one intimidated – by her…
    but not out of fear, but out of wonder …
    bias maybe, but the power of a person’s true soul radiant is something to behold… especially in a world where all these negativities are prevalent .

    my apologes for graphic description ;o/

  14. Ca says:

    Querido Paulo,

    Ao primeiro instante, a mensagem me fez refletir sobre a importância de tratarmos nossa propria insegurança sem projetarmos no nosso proximo como também sobre a importância do respeito para com o outro.
    Logo depois, refleti o quanto assumir minhas proprias inseguranças com humildade esta me dando forças pra continuar em frente sem ter que projetar em ninguém minhas proprias fraquezas. Eu sempre encarei o medo como inteiramente negativo, ja que eu tinha a visão de que sentir medo era sinal de fraqueza, e que este sentimento poderia até atrair a situação que me amedrontava. Ainda acredito nisso, mas aprendi ultimamente que tb é importante reconhecer quando sentimos medo. Nos faz acordar nossa fé, nos faz ter coragem de enfrentar a realidade como ela é.
    Pedi pra que o outro comentario fosse apagado pois tive medo de ter me distanciado do assunto proposto, oque é ridiculo, ja que tudo que disse no outro comentario é oque penso verdadeiramente tb. Assumir que estou insegura, me da segurança, pois assim estou sendo honesta comigo mesmo e com os outros.

    MARG,

    Ca

  15. Jenovia says:

    The truth is every single one of us has insecurities at one time or another. What we do with these insecurities is what matters. A lot of people like to pawn them off on others or pretend they are not there.

    You should never, EVER try to make someone feel bad or belittle them for your own satisfaction. I think this is one of the most selfish things I know and is a SIN. To quiet someone’s light…to dim it is awful. They are only hurting the world and themselves when they attempt to do this. When one dims, we all dim.

    The more spiritually experienced can recognize this when it occurs. It is as if that person is wearing a sign in flashing lights that states “I’m SO UNHAPPY WITH WHO I AM, I LACK SELF LOVE, and I WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD BECAUSE OF IT.” I usually just avoid these people and surround myself with confident, positive individuals. People who UPLIFT ….people who do not DRAG DOWN.

    We are meant to reinforce others light not dim it…..

  16. Ca says:

    Please, I’d like to kindly ask that my last comment be deleted and disconsidered… I’ve changed my mind about this subject. Thanks!

  17. Ca says:

    Please, I’d like to kindly ask that my last comment be deleted and disconsidered… I’ve changed my mind about this subject. Thanks!

  18. MIT says:

    Dear Paulo

    I think that your friend have been learned a lot about you….and also life…I’m the same like she wrote…I feel the same and this is the reality..name the live and what you do, because this will be the same ego and found that your existence and behaviors have a porpuse.

  19. Ca says:

    ” Havia um rei de Espanha que se orgulhava muito de sua linhagem, e que era conhecido por sua crueldade com os mais fracos. Certa vez, caminhava com sua comitiva por um campo de Aragon, onde – anos antes – havia perdido seu pai em uma batalha. Ali encontrou um homem santo remexendo uma enorme pilha de ossos.
    – O que fazes ai? perguntou o rei.
    – Honrada seja Vossa Majestade – disse o homem santo. – Quando soube que o rei da Espanha vinha por aqui, resolvi recolher os ossos de vosso falecido pai, para entregar-vos. Entretanto, por mais que procure, não consigo acha-los; eles são iguais aos ossos dos camponeses, dos pobres, dos mendigos, e dos escravos.”

    “As vezes temos vergonha de fazer o bem. Nosso sentimento de culpa tenta sempre nos dizer que, quando agimos com genersidade, estamos mesmo é tentando impressionar os outros, “subornar” Deus, etc. Parece dificil aceitar que nossa natureza é essecialmente boa. Cobrimos os gestos bons com ironia e descaso – como se o amor fosse sinonimo de fraqueza.”

    – MAKTUB, PAULO COELHO.

    Querido Paulo,

    Tomei a liberdade de acrescentar estas duas reflexões de sua propria autoria, pois acredito que complementem de certa forma a maravilhosa reflexão postada hoje. Acho grandioso o processo de assumirmos nossas proprias inseguranças e temores, sem projetarmos no nosso proximo. Sentir equilibrio mesmo com a existência de nossas inseguranças é um desafio que cabe a todos nos enfrentarmos. A consciência de que “somos todos UM” nos leva a comprendermos que não somos melhores que ninguém, e que tentar “rebaixar” o outro não te dara os degraus pra “ascensionar”. Infelizmente vivemos numa sociedade competitiva em que estes valores não são respeitados e insentivados, e se leva mesmo a acreditar que o fato do outro perder podera fazer você ganhar. Esta é uma superioridade ilusoria do ego. Seria maravilhoso se ao invés de projetarmos nossas fraquezas, pudessemos unir nossas forças. Mas a realidade é outra. Na minha humilde opinião, acho que quando alguém tenta nos diminuir, ou até mesmo tirar nossos proprios direitos de seguir nosso caminho em tranquilidade, temos que estar atentos neste momento pra não respondermos “na mesma moeda”. Ninguém é melhor do que ninguém, e aquele que é grandioso não precisa ter ninguém em baixo pra comprovar isso. Nem classe social, nem mas julgamentos, nem nenhuma outra justificativa nos da o direito de tentarmos rebaixar nosso proximo, temos que respeitar a todos como gostariamos de ser respeitados. Eu admiro muito vc, Paulo, pois você é grandioso em sua alma, e mesmo sendo por muitas vezes alvo de criticas, nunca teve que responder na mesma moeda para comprovar seu valor. Eu o admiro muito pelo desapego em que encara o poder que você tem. Como o escritor mais lido do mundo, não deixou o poder de tal “status” subir ao ego, e continua acessivel a seus fãs, tendo interesse de interagir e dando espaço pra todos os que o admiram, independente de classe social ou nivel intelectual. Isso é grandioso, e por esta e por tantas outras razões, você é um Mestre.

    MARG,

    Ca

  20. Martina says:

    Recently I had this intimidating experience, which I naively never expected from someone I believed to be trustworthy person. Well,it seems to me that being yourself in work environment is a food for manipulative people, who can not do the work themself in long term. They must have an enthusiastic assistant, who is there to cover their extensive holidays, sicknesses, flexible working pattern and carry all the blame if things turn wrong. And they will. You will be treated well when they need you. And when they feel a fear of loosing their influence, power, easy job than their project all of this on you with shuttering psychological pressure, playing the judge of all you have done and all your behaviour, using all they know about you to create gossips to protect their status and lower your reputation.
    This was what I experienced and it was a lesson for future. I wished I could see and understand this much earlier and avoid half year of stress and self-blame for someones insecurity problem. All I can feel for this specific person is a pity and for her next victim just the same.
    However the fight is not over and the challenge is to resist when manipulator hits again.

  21. Catherine says:

    It’s a great realisation to have..
    one that my mother, forever, was trying to get me to appreciate … that everyone can be feeling bad inside no matter how happy on the outside they may be projecting to the world.
    and i’d agree, that the fear can subside as this sense of alienation passes and you can begin to accept the insecurities without feeling swept along or at great odds with the world :o)

  22. Savita Vega says:

    I logged on to the blog this morning and first made my post under the Opinion section, on the subject of Vanity – a post describing how I was verbally attacked by someone whom I held dear, for the mere fact of posting my thoughts and opinions on this blog. Then, immediately after I made that post, I came here and read this entry. Perhaps this is why I was attacked: because the person who made the attack was insecure in their own abilities – attempting “to intimidate me because they were not convinced that they were capable” of similarly expressing themselves in such a forum.