Relationships are for co-operation. A harmonious relationship is where there is awareness of the responsibility in fulfilling the relationship. You give without bribery and receive graciously. Then there is great respect for an individual’s right to be and their right to do. This presupposes that all parties are strong within themselves. People take responsibility to mean control – these two are incompatible in relationship. Be complete within yourself so that you can bring something into your relationship – you have a stock. Just as a shop needs stock to keep people happy, relationships are exchanges, they are about all the different aspects of love. We started off as complete, full beings. In truth I do not need love. I am love.

The Pharaoh convinced that he was “god” built “great” structures and attributed these to his “greatness” and “independence”. Reality: if it wasn’t for his slaves, he would have no great structures. Did he realize that *he* *depended* on his slaves and played well at hiding this realization from others? Or was he so “emotionally independent” that he fooled himself into thinking that the reality of his dependence on his slaves did not exist?

In today’s predominantly God-less Capitalist survival-of-the-fittest, cut-throat, monopolistic, Machiavelli, street-smart, individualist, self-gratifying, selfish life-style, should we be encouraging any kind of “independence”, let alone the emotional kind?

Or should we advocate that humans need to have healthy and reasonable exposure and experience with dependence, independence and then interdependence (in that order.)

It’s amazing how we practice interdependence in business-customer relations, but fail to see its benefits/value in inter-personal relationships.

this makes sense because if we feel we don’t have enough security within who we are, we balk at other’s needs… but if we are connected to Source at a deeply engaged level we are wide open to any and all needs – our own and from others – because we KNOW we are capable and strong.. no, because we KNOW we are Love, incarnate.

And love is the antithesis of fear.

I’ve found a deep truth in this and am so relieved I found it: its come at the most perfect time in my world… am SO SO SO excited.. so many view dependence as a weakness, so this may challenge them deeply, but I’ve just realized that being the conduit for other’s needs is such an immense service!!!!!

What a tremendously exciting challenge: to retain your congruence and sense of self in the face of any demands placed on you by others… this is the precisely doorway/process that most tend to flee….

but it’s not about giving of Self, it’s about giving THROUGH self…. it’s about being able to plug so deeply into Universal Flow that you are not capable of being depleted!!!!

this way, we become Service, incarnate… which is Divine Love,

is it not????

:)

Paulo, I have travelled so far on your words and the reach of your heart, and I bless you for sharing what you do and who you are…
xxx

I clicked on it immediately, thinking, perhaps without even knowing that I was until i reached the end of the passage, that maybe Paulo would have some words of wisdom on how to be less dependant, more self-reliant, perhaps even less emotional.
For some reason, I already had negative conatations with the sort of behaviour I find myself exhibiting, even yearning for. Being “emotionally dependant”

This doesnt necessarily make you weak. Possibly just the opposite. I believe it takes strength to have willingness to love, and be loved.

A great man once said “The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility”

Light and Love

a path where you never will be betrayed..cheated…coz u will not let any one do that…coz you are independent…emotionaly independent.

so its obvious soul likes things that are beautiful and profound…but beautiful and profound things should be in the options too….for us to provide to the soul…..

and so to depend emotionally…………..u should have the choice in the first place….

I value others, and am a warm, kind and sharing person, and don’t have a problem with acknowedging that we also need to be dependant on others… Bbut which others? I find it is rare one meets deeply-compatible friends. But I feel it is only these who understand us enough to truly help!
this is my truthat the moment. I do envisage widening my circle of ‘real friends’ for the future…

Its only our mind that is the best judge and interpreter of the mystery of our “being”.However there is little doubt that we do not realize this and therefore we sometimes do need the counselling from someone in order to realize our aims.

But still people seem to forget that nobody lives forever. We all owe one death. And it is up to us to give a meaning to this death, as it is up to us to give a meaning to our life.

All this mith of “man and superman”, so well illustrated in Andre Malraux books, “La Condition humaine” for example! These days it is a glory not to feel anything. But only a few seem to think that when one listen to the omens and keeps himself in harmony with himself and with the things surrounding him, peace overtakes him and no harm can touch his soul. Why do we have to try to be more than a human in a world of humans?

yes we all need to understand that human beings are born to be emotionally dependent, have u noticed this, unless one is intercating with others is depndent on others for fulfillment of one’s emotinal needs, emotions start dying up.

emotinally indepndent actually means emotinally dead ! but then again one should realise that being emotinally dependent is one thing and making a mania out of it is quite another. i have seen people who use emotions to blackmail others ( children are quite expert at that ), that is immature.

lastly, whether it’s better to be emotinally independet or depnedent one can look at lives of enlightned once say buddha, till he was searching, he prefereed to remain emotinally independent but once he had found he came back to the ‘bazzaar’ the world to share his joy, his emotion. same with mahavir and same with zesus too, for zesus i don’t know if anything much is known about his being prior to enlightnement but he shared his enlightnement with anyone who cared / cares to listen.

this whole civilisation is one, an injustice suffred by one member does not happen without the silent support of other memebrs, imagine cells of our body talking about independence, emotional or otherwise.

Liina L, yes no one is alone and only aloneness is !!

love
aditya

………..
most of all i wish to be back in the UK seeing more of my mother – because she is profound and beautiful – and i do still depend on her even at 31
;o)

Satish kumar wrote “you are, therefore i am: a declaration of dependence” which i think is a great theory to be bringing into the light…

Although i feel that too much dependence has taken place in my {post- world war} society, thus suffocating individualism, creativity etc.. [and also that i have a personal plight in this life it seems to be granted my indepence as others - gender, generational attitudes etc -]

I know also the great joy of why inter-dependence is important…. the different roles that life shapes for you -as daughter, friend, sister, teacher, student – they all help the soul to grow and breath.

but you do need some seperation in order to allow these lessons to be understood… else we might only see the mirror and not the room, door , road etc..

it is a difficult to maintain that independency, as here in ghana – even the watchman, the landlord, the driver, etc etc etc…. all wish to control my space and so me in it…
it takes the soul of a whale – to dive down deep with little breath, to endure this for more than a year… and i have to return homw, because it would write me off completely…strip down everything ive held on to as a life jacket through illness…
so…im going home, to be dependent.. on the roads i grew up on, the sounds i am familiar with, the culture i remember how to dance to, et al… !!! ;O)

We can’t become totally independent, because that is not a humans way. It’s good, if we can roam around the world on our own, but we also need other people around us. Although it’s not a good idea to cling on people either. Nothing, that’s over the top, is usually good for us. Any extremes are rather bad than good, in most cases.

Just yesterday I thought about it, in the evening. And it’s another “coincidence” that this posting just appeared. Thank You! At times, we really need to do “our own thing”. We need to do what’s neccecary, and the things we want to do aswell. But at the same time, while doing those things, we have to think of others. We can’t stay secluded in the bubble.

Yes, as Paulo said – at times we all need a moment to reflect, time for ourselves. I agree. But we can’t hide from the people and world that we live around. We need them. And they need us. It’s the humanly way.

I have thanked for so much things/happenings last past weeks (in my mind and in the word), because I am deeply grateful for everything that has happened to me. And I am very thankful I have so many good and nice people surrounding me.

I wish You all the best!
And I also wish You the knowledge how to use Your independency and at the same time stay touch with everything around You, that matters as well.

You are not alone.

Love,
Liina.L

Last sentence I like the best: “The soul likes things that are beautiful and profound” and it makes us better and happier persons.

Love
Luce