Sometimes religions can be very dumb. It is the case of my religion – The Catholic Church. In Brazil, we had this case of a young girl who got pregnant and the priest said – no abortion. Why? Because the canons of the Church – without considering the circumstances – denies abortion. So, I would like to know from you when we need to break the rules. Also, if you could elaborate and give me a list of the times when you broke the rules, I would appreciate.
When do we need to break the rules?
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Hi,
There was a dialogue in a film called Dayavaan(Firize Khan,Vinod Khanna),where in one character says that “as long as a activity is done to feedsome one without causing harm to no one, all such activities are legal”.To draw parallels from this i feel if a rule is causing discomfort to majority of people then it should be changed
Rules, for me is a handbook, but in some cases rules can not be adopted.. Bow to, but dont bound with..
Hia folks !
i read all the above comments, the usual suspects had something to say worth pondering over. ponder ponder …. a never ending process.
something luce says makes me respond luce says ““Turn the other cheek” who says it is good rule ?” now luce this is tricky, such a state as from where one can say this or rather do this is very high in compassion and unless we recah there it is better not to get involved with this ‘rule’, although it’s not a rule in any rule book. the level of consciousness which can say this Turn the other cheek is the same level which can take up a stick to drive out money lenders or a pick up a sowrd to fight.
rules are importnat, they give the benefits of follwoing some higher ideals to even those who cannot understand those ideals, but rules should be dynamic, stench from the corpse of a dead rule is truly repelling !!
love
aditya
Oops, I meant to write ‘ever’ loving parent not ‘over’ sorry.
Love, Light & Blessings,
Patricia
I was raised within the Roman Catholic faith, I grew up afraid and filled with guilt about a lot of things, more so about how my body felt, I thought I had to be disgusting for having these feeling because if I was good then I would not have felt as I did.
When I was in my mid-teens I decided that this ‘God’ that the priests preached about was not for me, for in my eyes he was a cruel ‘God’, I wanted nothing more to do with this cruelty and left the fatih, not that by that time I had much faith, I was given a talk by the priests about I would be lost with this faith but decided to go my own way, it was not until several years later that I had made my journey and heard this voice speak with me, I told him I wanted nothing to do with him for he was not what I was looking for, to which he replied “I saw your pain as a child, I could not take it away for it was your learning, for from that experience you can now get to know me for what I am, I shall be here whenever you want to talk”……I was going to type time passed but really only a few days passed when really curiosity got the better of me and had been mulling it over in my mind what had been said, I sat down and asked him to talk to me, he was there before I could blink lol, not surprising really as now I know he had been there all the time.
I asked him why had he allowed me to be hurt as a child with the dogma of this religion, he said “it was not I who caused your pain as a child, it was those who stand and say they speak for me”, suddenly and I know this is going to sound naff, suddenly I felt this overwhelming sense of love from this voice, he said I didn’t have to call him ‘God’ or father, I decided at the time I would call him Great Spirit as I could handle that, although I have to tell you that now many many years have passed since this event took place and now I gladly with all my heart call him father, for he is my father, he guides me and helps me when I need him, he is there to talk to each and every day and the love that I know he has for me is beyond any love imaginable.
I am sorry to ramble, I think what I want to say is that it is not ‘God’ or whatever name you wish to call him who sets these rules it is man pure and simple who has made these rules, if you talk to him he will tell you he only asks that you love all, nothing more, nothing less, we are not sinners who need to be punished , we are children who makes mistakes from time to time and he is our over loving parent who will pick us up brush us down and help us walk our path once more having learnt from the mistake we made.
Love, Light & Blessings,
Patricia
Very rarely are situations or predicaments black and white; therefore rules should not be black and white either. As a few readers have commented before me, the circumstances should be considered in order to determine what is right and wrong in a particular situation. This is why I have personal issues with organized religion as well.
For example, in the case of this young girl- wouldn’t it be just as wrong to force this girl to become a mother and raise a child that she does not want? (Granted, she may have placed herself in that situation, but there are options that she may consider at this point). What if she did not enter into this situation willingly? Would it be wrong for a woman who was raped to have an abortion?
Rules should not be absolute, as there are often extenuating circumstances. I do want to clarify however, that rules and laws are not the same thing. There are times when rules need to be broken, but that does not mean that laws should be broken as well. We need to be able to remain functional as a society.
I believe rules were made originally with the sole purpose of making life easier and more in order. However, the people who later are chosen or elected to uphold the same set of rules may no longer have any idea of ‘why’ and ‘how’ we came up with it. Thus the rules have become something technical without ‘soul’.
I strongly believe that the most important thing to do is NOT to emphasize on the rules themselves but more on explaining the objectives of why we have those rules. At the same time, we are treating people not as the object of the rules but more as the subject. We must trust people’s conscience after being given explanation and understanding over the rules. One may decide differently than others.
In case of abortion, church’s rules said that it is wrong. Yet only God has all the privileges to judge one’s deeds. If the woman decides to have the abortion, she must have been through a difficult and painstaking discussion with her ‘conscience’. I have been taught that our conscience is actually God’s voice in us. As long she finds peace in her decision, why not?
I am a Roman Catholic married to a Moslem. I do not attend the mass regularly, I have not had confession for a looooong time, and I use contraceptive (IUD). I once thought of getting an abortion, too due to the worries of not being able to take care of the baby properly since we had little money and were still struggling to make ends meet. I backed out from the abortion idea NOT because of the rules but because I could not bring my self to actually do it. I was scared, of the technical procedures of abortion.
My conclusion: GOD is forgiving and understanding, people are not.
Love,
Dessy
Greetings, sir!
In Russia many people break the rules. A lot of them. Like crossing a road when the light is red (or in an inapropriate place). There are several reasons to do so.
First – people can be stupid OR ignorant enough to think that he is higher than some miserable rules. Regretfully, there are more and more of those people every day.
Second reason is we think if we need this rule, if it helps. Like the law of military service (all men from 18 to 27 years old MUST serve in the army no matter if they want to). Me? I don’t want to be a soldier, yet nobody’s interested in what I want. So I have to think out some way to evade this must.
Religious rules is a standalone topic. Every religion consists of rules that believers MUST obey no matter how sometimes marasmatic they are. That is a jist of every single religion. I believe that if a person accepts some religion, it should be accepted in a whole. It is as they say – when in Rome, do as the Romans do. If the rules of your religion are not suitable for you – why not to find yourself another religion? Thus you won’t have to break any of these rules.
About morals… I believe that these are never to be broken, for this is the inly measure of selfcontrol. What values can have a person who does not care about his own words? None. And what can such a man be worth of? Nothing. Nothing good anyway :)
I myself try not to break the rules, beacause most of them are my own. If not for you and your books, I might have been different and maybe I’d be someone from the “ignorant” group above… Thank you for your work, mr. Coelho.
Respectfully,
Vitaly Okorokov.
¡Elegir la Vida no es una Regla!
Querido Paulo:
Bueno creo que yo seré la voz discrepante en este tema, es curioso hoy estaba buscando informacion sobre el “Día del Niño por nacer” que se celebra el 25 de marzo aqui en mi país (Perú), tambien decidí dar una ojeada a su blog y encontré esta su pregunta. Sobre este tema de la niña de 9 años que fue violada por su padastro también fui cuestionada la semana pasada por que mi hermana me contó sobre la noticia, y me lo preguntó por que yo formo parte de una Asociación aqui en mi ciudad que lucha por la defensa de la Vida humana desde la concepción (porque desde ese momento está demostrado que ya somos no sólo un grupo de células que se dividen y subdividen infinitamente hasta dar forma a este cuerpo maravilloso que tenemos, sino que también tenemos ya un alma dada por nuestro creador, sea de la religión que sea). Entonces, analizemos, si somos conocedores que ya en los gemelos había vida humana(creo que la gravidez era de 20 semanas,no es necesario ser sacerdote para saber que ahí se acabó con dos vidas. En este caso la niña según sé no era plenamente conciente de que estaba embarazada, sino que creía tener una enfermedad; sólo cuando se conversa con mujeres que han sido violadas podemos saber el recuerdo que esto genera en cada una de las victimas. Pero acerca de aquellas mujeres que decidieron terminar con su gravidez, hay una entidad sicológica conocida como Sindrome Post Aborto, que a largo plazo causa talvez mayor daño en la mente de la mujer cuando repara en que acabó con la vida de su bebé. En el caso de esta niña no será así porque ella no tomó la decisión, pero nadie sabe cómo es que ella pensará dentro de algunos años acerca de esta decisión tomada por sus familiares. Además hay estoy segura de que en el Brasil, como aqui en mi país, hay albergues donde hubieran estado gustosos de recibir a esos dos bebés. La vocación y la misión de estas dos almas, surgidas de una circunstancia tan violenta, se han perdido para siempre.
I too, am Roman Catholic, but the tradition I choose to follow is somewhat unique…
We must remember that the laws of the church are the laws of man and not the laws of God! The truth is that in Catholicism there is only ONE law “Do on to others, as you would have them do on to you”, which is sometimes also interpreted as “Love one another as I have loved you.” Another man came along a bit later and worded this same law (though perhaps unknowingly) quite beautifully:
“An it harm none, love and do what thou wilt.”
It is my belief as a Catholic, that this is the only law we need to follow. In order to do this, we must understand that the law is a two piece equation and we have a duty to fulfill both pieces — The first piece is “Do NO harm to others”. We must do this always and in every circumstance, as it is always possible.” The second is “love others as well as yourself” in order to fulfill on this portion of the equation we must BE HAPPY for it is not possible to love yourself if you are unhappy and it is not possible to love another if you do not first love yourself.
As for the Church, the laws of Rome are often well meaning but are nevertheless out of date and therefore (sadly) bound to fail many of their followers.
That being said, I have broken many laws of Rome, but in doing so I have hurt no one, remained happy in the depths of my soul and known that I have spread love in the world… Very of often my sins and my Ecstasies are one and the same and so I cite them because you have asked me to do so…
I have made love with men and rejoiced in the experience of of two becoming one. I have embraced the flame of our desire and shared the love within me with others.
I have drank the fruit of the vine until my heart was full and could not drink anymore. In these moments I’ve removed my armor and shared much laughter and joy.
I have ate forbidden fruits, and danced for days to the sound of God’s heart beating. In this, I have seen the light of goodness in the faces of my neighbours and watched the angels dance with us.
I support Love in all its iterations, whether it is of man and woman, woman and woman, or man and man! For when Love is mutual it is always a reflection of the glory of heaven and a gift from God.
~~ Be happy and Love much ~~
DM
Luce; brilliant.
Sometimes Heart says somthing different from this worlds rules.
When we hear the voice, we have to do what it wants. To get the biggest places we have to break the biggest rules.
Rules makes welfare for us. but at the same time they will be our biggest enemy.
i don’t know english too much. but i know the meaning of these words as well as you.
break the rules and come & see the miracle that makes me type these words.
En respuesta a la segunda cuestion;
Acompañe, que yo recuerde, a tres chicas con las que habia practicado sexo a tomar la pildora del dia despues. Por diferentes motivos.
Salvando todas las distancias y con el debido respeto a todas las personas que han abortado alguna vez en su vida o abortaran, es justo decir que siempre en mi opinión personal considero que:
El aborto es fruto de Miedo:
1.- Miedo en primer lugar a la reacción de los demás; Que dirán mis padres, mis ti@s prim@s amig@s, vecin@s..etc.
SOLUCION: No conozco a nadie que merezca la pena llamrse amig@, padre vecin@, ti@, prim@ o conocid@…que tras lo sobresaltos u opiniones encontradas iniciales, no RECAPACITE y AYUDE a su amig@, padre vecin@, ti@, prim@ o conocid@a salir delante.
( si no te ayudan cuando mas los necesitas, nunca te han querido).
2.- Miedo a tener que pensar en alguien mas que en ti: Egoísmo; Piensa que estas pagando con la vida de tu hijo e poder tener una vida acomodada, donde conducir un Mercedes en vez de un
Vols-Wagen y Vivir en un Duplex en vez de un Piso.
SOLUCION: Conocer todas los EFECTOS SECUNDARIOS del Aborto.
Poca gente a favor del aborto comenta que todas las mujeres que abortan sufren secuelas Psicológicas que a veces duran durante toda su vida ya que no dejan de pensar en su chalet o duplex en lo a gusto que viviría ahí con su hij@, TU conciencia lo sabe.
Bueno si llegaste a leer hasta aquí te diré que YO personalmente siendo un hombre HE SENTIDO ESTOS MIEDOS en algún momento de mi vida.
Que a parte de estos motivos que son mas profundos existen otros mas superficiales:
3.- Miedo a Perder la Figura.
Solución: Mira a las estrellas de cine y Artista, y cantantes, todas recuperan la figura ¿por que tu no lo harás? ( Un Poquito de dieta controlada por tu medico y algo de ejercicio, saca a pasear a tu hij@).
4.- Miedo a que el PADRE no sea la persona ideal.
SOLUCION: Hay mas personas en el mundo. QUE LE DEN, si estas embarazada eres joven y encontraras a otro, a los tíos nos gusta proteger a las mujeres, tenemos ese chip.
5.- Si alguien te agredió y te hizo daño.
SOLUCION: Que no lo pague el bebe, el tampoco tuvo culpa, siempre lo puedes entregar en adopción, saber que tu no consentiste que un inocente pagase las fechorías de un desalmado, será un grato recuerdo que te ayudara y animara hasta la tumba ya que tuviste el coraje suficiente para no consentir además de una agresión se produjese la muerte de un inocente.
Y si has leído hasta aquí Quiero que sepas que el motivo concreto de escribir esto NO ES POLITICO NI RELIGIOSO.
ES POR LAS INNUMERABLES HORAS QUE PASE PENSANDO EN LO QUE HUBIESE PASADO EN MI VIDA SI MI PAREJA NO HUBIESE TOMADO LA PILDORA DEL DIA DESPUES, ¿QUE HUBIESE PASADO SI ALGUIEN ME HUBIESE CONTADO TODO ESTO QUE AHORA TU CONOCES? Y POR ULTIMO ¿QUE HUBIESE PASADO SI NO HUBIESE SIDO TAN COBARDE?.
Te deseo lo mejor y espero que TU no tengas que pasar innumerables horas lamentando el no haber tenido el suficiente valor y coraje de vivir sin miedo.
******************************************************************************************************************************************
Bridging the gap with all due respect to all persons who have an abortion at some time in their life or abortion, it is fair to say that always in my personal opinion I believe that:
Abortion is the result of Fear:
1 .- Fear first reaction of others to tell my parents, my uncles cousins, friends, neighbors, etc. …
SOLUTION: Do not know anyone worth llamrse friend, neighbor mother, aunt, cousin or other … so that after initial shocks or views found not reconsider and help your friend, parent, neighbor, aunt, cousin or acquaintance exit ahead.
(If not help when you need them most, you’ll never have wanted).
2 .- Fear of having to think about someone else that you: Selfishness; think paying these to the life of your son and to have a comfortable life, where driving a Mercedes instead of a
Vols-Wagen and live in a duplex rather than a house.
SOLUTION: To know all the side effects of Abortion.
Few people in favor of abortion says that all women who abort suffer psychological sequelae that sometimes lasts throughout life and not stop thinking about your house or duplex with a taste that would live there with his son, your conscience knows .
Well if you get to read this far I will tell you that I myself being a man I felt these fears at some point in my life.
That some of these reasons are deeper, there are other more superficial:
3 .- Fear of Losing the picture.
Solution: Look for movie stars and artists, and singers, all recovered figure why do not you? (A bit of controlled diet and your doctor some exercise, get a ride to your child).
4 .- Fear that the father is not the ideal person.
SOLUTION: There are more people in the world. You get if you are pregnant and find a couple other guys we like to protect women, we have that chip.
5 .- If someone attacked you and made you harm.
SOLUTION: Do not pay what the baby was not the fault, if you can deliver for adoption, knowing that you do not consent to an innocent pay the misdeeds of a desalmado, happy memories that will help and encourage you to the grave as had the courage to not consent to a further assault occurred the death of an innocent.
And if you’ve read this far I want you to know the specific reason for writing this is not political or religious.
ES by the countless hours I spent thinking what had happened in my life if my partner had not taken the day after pill, which would have happened if I had everything SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT NOW? And finally, what would you have happened if it had not been so coward?.
I wish you the best and hope you do not have to spend countless hours regretting not having had enough courage and courage to live without fear.
This is a very interesting question. One that has been up a lot in my country lately (Sweden, that is).
Our government is making several new laws now, resulting in turning the majority of the people in this country into criminals. How can these laws make sense to us, especially when we are living in a democracy?
We are turning into a country where everything you do on the internet (email, chat etc.) and say on your phone will be monitored and traceable – that is really scary. What about privacy? The protection of sources? And so on…
All in the name of hunting terrorists and see to the economical interests of big corporations.
I wrote about your question in my blog today, but in Swedish…
Rules are made to control humans minds, but also to drive our lifes following only our instints would end up in chaos too. What should we do? I think God has gave us free will as sample of his love to us and we should respond acting with responsability and commun sense. Nowdays no matter what religion we practice, we all know what is right and what is wrong. There is no need in this world for more rules, what we really need is to be brave enough to follow our own interior voice which is always right, but it could be against nonsense social or religion rules.
Do I break rules? All the rules that are agianst my nature, my hapiness or make me hurt another human being….
oh this is a bit of a complex question and answer—
acording to the judaism – abortion is not permitted,,,,
but when a woman is in health danger- or if she cant deal mentally with the pregnancy- it is always permitted!!!
so they find the KOSHER way to do the abortion!!!
my self- i dont think its fair and i think it should be our own choice,,, so in this case i broke rules by not agreeing with that rules.
also there r white lies in our life— that some times we have to brake the TRUTH rule and say another story – so we can help one— many times i have done it in my life,,,
and in general i think that so many of us brake rules during our life,,,, that while it doesnt hurt- it ok.!!
WE need to break the rules when the rules no longer apply, we need to break the rules when we feel deep within our soul that there is a better way than what has already been suggested. We need to break the rules when something is wrong yet we know we are right. The question is how far do we want to go to break the rules what sacrificies are we prepared to make are we prepared for the consequences of who or what will be once the rules have been broken.
Matthew.
La Iglesia se ha quedado parada y no ha seguido con los cambios que la sociedad ha tenido o por lo menos no va al mismo ritmo, existe por lo tanto un divorcio entre Iglesia y sociedad, esto es antinatural.
Nunca fui partidaria del aborto para practicarlo yo asi que siempre cuidé no tener que llegar a ello pero siempre consideré que era una hipocresía que las personas que ivan a la Iglesia y que tenían dinero llevaban a sus hijas a abortar a Inglaterra o a Portugal mientras que los de pocos recursos lo hacían a escondidas y muchas morían.
Un bebe tiene que venir cuando hay condiciones optimas y es la persona quien tiene que decidir, no otros por ella.
Nunca se practica un aborto así porque así pues trae riesgos, es una decisión muy importante.
A veces cerar los ojos a la realidad es una falta de responsabilidad.
Y por supuesto no estoy de acuerdo con el Papa que ha dicho en Africa que no utilicen el perservativo.
Un beso Paulo
Rules are made by people, usually men. People are fallible and have their own agendas.
One should always make up one’s own mind about a thing and never blindly follow a rule made by another.
We all know in our heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong. That should be our only guide.
This requires deep thought and soulsearching and reflection on the part of every individual, which is not always easy. Rules are for the lazy ones and for those who do not wish to be truly adult and responsible for their own decisions.
Rules invite defiance.
I cannot say that I have broken rules because I have tried to live without reference to rules imposed by others, but to live true to my own heart.
Clearly to force a nine year old girl to carry a baby to full term and give birth to it is child abuse, and is despicable.
About Rules, and breaking rules:
The Rules are closely linked to moral. Be moral is easy, everything you need is follow literally a moral. But the moral has a lot of limits, two over all:
1) It doesn’t exist a only moral. Moral changes everywhere; every nation, every region, every city, every social class has a moral. And it was exist even a Nazimoral that realized such terrible crimes… in name of a Moral, of course.
2) The Moral is rigid, is static, is a static list of good actions and bad actions that doesn’t consider the situation where the action is done. But in a world where “panta rei”, everything continually changes is possible to consider action absolute by the situation?
A person that follows mechanically the rules is a moral person, not a right one.
Be right doesn’t mean be moral.
Right originary means no left, no opposite of left. Right means belanced, Rectum.
Then turning back to your question, Paulo, in a world where you can never dip in the same river is right follow mechanically a inflexible list of rules? And the religion should teach us a list rules, or should teach us something different?
Rules are made to create order in chaos. They are made to help us to live in this world together with others in harmony. But we all know that things are never just black or white. That is why we need to remember about people involved in a particular situation, we need to think about where they are coming from, their personal history, their inclinations – so many factors. Personally I am far from judging others for breaking the rules. I used to judge them in the past until I broke the rules myself! I was ordained and I broke my vows. Now some people are judging me and I know that they just don’t know one important thing – that I didn’t have a choice. ‘Sometimes you can not stop the river.’ At that time in my life this is what I had to do. It is difficult to explain why I think I didn’t have a choice. I would say that all the conditions came together for me to stop my ordination, and when the conditions come together whatever has to happen will happen, regardless.
I have to live with the consequences of my action now but my own inner wisdom helps me to understand that this very action took me to the different spiritual level that I wasn’t able to get to before.
Personally I think that more important than expecting people to blindly abide with rules is to help them develop their own inner virtues of compassion and wisdom.
By chance I have been working with this question a great deal lately. When you ask about rules, I take this to mean moral rules, because the reason for not breaking the laws of your country, for example, is simply that you will be punished. (Some laws of course also have a moral dimension, but many are arbitrary, many trivial, many even immoral – the point is we can separate moral from legal rules.) But what are moral rules?
We all have a powerful urge to generalise and find “principles” that apply to every situation. Then we think we can deduce what to do in particular cases from the general principles. This is a paradigm that makes ethics seem like logic, science or mathematics. Or, we think of moral laws as like human laws, only somehow more fundamental, higher, so we then have a legalistic paradigm which is what your church (and many other churches) often does. The difference between the two paradigms is only in how the rules come to be rules, but there is little difference in applying them.
We are taught to think that there must be rules and we must obey them or either there will be anarchy or we will be punished. But real life is not like that, there are complexities, even the rules conflict with each other and there is no court you can appeal to unless you accept that your church is such a court. In that case you need no moral thought and have no moral duties except the duty to obey, like the subjects of an absolute monarch. But if you accept responsibility for thinking for yourself it is soon apparent that the circumstances are what matter, every case is different, like every flower is different.
There have always been two traditions in ethics, one is morality which suggests that rules are what matter, the other is virtue ethics which says that what matters is the sort of person we strive to be and the qualities we cultivate. (Broadly, they might be thought of as Plato’s view and Aristotle’s view, respectively, but that is very sweeping!) Your writings take, I think, the virtue position, especially your warrior of light concept. For what it’s worth, so do I. But in the virtue tradition rules are no more than rules of thumb, helpful maybe to get started but nothing like laws or mathematical axioms. They describe and classify after the event, they do not prescribe what must be done. What matters is to cultivate the qualities of mind and heart which take one towards one’s goal and the sincere question is: what will most serve that goal in these circumstances? – not: what do the rules prescribe?
So the answer to your question ( when do we need to break the rules?) might be: “There are no rules”. If you strive to be a compassionate person, for example, then the question is: what is the compassionate thing to do here, and what action will most help to develop compassion in me? The answer may not be easy to find, we have to do our best and muddle through a lot of the time. But the circumstances are what will make the difference, which is why abortion will often not be the right answer, but sometimes will be.
most of us have a memory
and we all have the ability to process thought, but some of us process thoughts/mental electricity in different ways
rules should be broken when the thoughts we process in our memory will clash
this is called a clash of conscience
I do not want to get home and drift to sleep and suddenly remember that I have changed the way I want to do something because of a rule
My understanding of what is right and wrong differs from others, but I am fairly well balanced
I was brought up with nice values – a rule can be broken if it conflicts with values that will you would want to uphold
Pienso que las reglas fueron hechas para diferenciar las cosas malas de las buenas, pero la verdad es que nada es absoluto. A veces es necesario romper las reglas, aunque sean de tu propia religion o creencia, en el caso de el cristianismo el mismo Jesús rompio algunas de las reglas que tenian su sociedad para hacer la voluntad de Dios. Si hay un ser supremo haya fuera , el compredendera por que tienes que romper las reglas, si de verdad hay buena voluntad en tu corazón las cosas saldran bien.
Reglas fijas no me gustan mucho en general.
Aunque tengo que decir que en general soy una persona bastante obediente.
Yo me alejé del cristianismo porque no me parecía posible que una relegión tuviera razón. Y también me alejé del catolicismo porque tenía muchas reglas que no iba a obedecer. Entonces me parece más coherente no ser católica. Encontré lo que busco espiritualemente en el budismo. Allí no hay reglas fijas. En el budismo te invitan en cada instante cuestionarlo todo siempre. Hay unas reglas. Pero no son muy rígidas. Y si no cumples con ellas no pasa nada, simplemente aprendes de tu error y lo intentas otra vez.
También es importante estar conciente de todo. Acceptar algún error y seguir adelante con buenos ánimos.
Si de alguna forma tu vida se dirige a intentar aliviar el sufrimiento de todos, no te puedes equivocar.
Un abrazo fuerte,
Mirjam
Kaixo Paulo
I live in the Basque country and here is very common to break the rules because they are becoming more restrictive. I often break them but only talk about that in the presence of my lawyer. ;)
I hate being told what to do. My logic is sound. I grew up as a Seventh Day Adventist. It has strict rules. I am no longer religious and haven’t been since I was a teenager.
I know how to be a decent human being. I am an adult. I am capable of making reasonably good decisions. I have free will.
We have law/rules for many reasons. If I go over the speed limit, I break the law. I will take that risk. If I do a bad thing and get caught, I will have to suffer the consequences. I am accountable.
Don’t tell me what to do and we will get along fine.
Intuition.Somebody did tell me before I was born,that people come into the world crying,when all around are smiling-and they have to leave the world smiling,when all around will be in tears.I remembered that-and, as a result-I am always “crying” by meeting somebody-I don’t know how to say “Hello”,but I know the other side-how to part-just to keep the best memories of the person-so,not knowing how to come “into relationship”-I break the rule number 1.I don’t keep men “prisoners”around me-as a result “material world” get’s shattered and sometimes ruined for me-I get accused of not being practical-I break the rule number 2.And I,usually,break any rules,when I see,that “the law” makes people suffer,if I don’t ruin such rules-I start to suffer unbearably-so,I will keep breaking the rule number 3.One,two,three-that’s all about me.
Every time when some rules are against MY conscience, against MY better judgement, against better world and wellbeing I break them and will break them again and again.
The only rule I obey is LOVE and it has all in itself. I do not accept rules as if they were God’s given because they are not !
“Turn the other cheek” who says it is good rule ?
Hypocrisy of rule-makers makes me sick.
I was 17 when I, together with other 3 girls, broke stupid rule that said girls can not go to school in trousers ( it was scolastic year 68/69 ) and it was my mother that made them for me and for that occasion.
I could go on and on with smaller or bigger isues, rules I broke but they are part of me that I do not share on Internet.
I do not like rules, and every day there are more and more of them, in every pore of our lives they enter and sometimes they make us feel uneasy and guilty for no good reason.
I repeat, only valid rule is LOVE, is has it all, ethics, moral, justice within itself.
Love
Luce
Marie-Christine, beautiful writing. Paulo I’m new here. I believe her account of the abortion is true and not imagined, tears to my eyes. As you specifically opened with the Church’s decision on that subject I will keep to the matter. The Biblical road to damascus awaits us all. It is God’s way of allowing us the grace to both change and to break rules. The Church’s inability to recognize this necessity in our lives is pedantic and unrealistic in a world created to embrace all change. That includes changes to rules. Without the breaking away from set conditions the planet would die. Without the choice in breaking of rules we may die.
On Christmas Eve I read a Hail Mary against the will of the priest in the protestantic church I serve. This because my heart
Savita and Karen – THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND BEING TRANSPARANT. This has helped me today!
I find that if a rule goes against the spirit of love, of compassion, and of understanding, the rule is futile and counter-productive, as is the case of the ex-communication of the mother of the child who was molested, and who had an abortion.
In my opinion, rules and laws are to protect the innocent and the vulnerable, and that should be the priority of rules and regulations.
What really hurts my heart is that the Catholic Church would be so quick to judge when Jesus was slow to judgment and quick to caring. I cannot fathom a Christ who would come and condemn the mother of a child who was molested, I fathom a Christ who would come and grief with the mother, a spirit of solidarity in difficult times.
Rules…
Rules created by social institutions are broken all the time. How badly they affect the flow of the society may be the issue to look at but as individuals we don’t know how they are changing people’s lives and we don’t have the right to judge others because of their actions.
I think rules have to be broken when you feel that you have had enough of them and you don’t believe they bring anything constructive for you anymore. If you decided to follow those rules at some point in your live it was because you approved them but you can always change your mind. Because life is free and free will still exists.
I am breaking the rule of motherhood being a woman who doesn’t want to be a mother, because life as a women doesn’t always mean to become a mother.
I am married and my husband knows that I don’t want to be a mother and we are OK like this but sometimes I feel people think I am somehow different because I don’t want to have children and because I don’t enjoy them very much. I think you can make choices in life and if they satisfy yourself that’s what really matters as long as you don’t hurt the ones you love the most.
When you fight against your own rules is when everything becomes a bit tricky because you are fighting yourself and the probabilities of being hurt are high. Is this a sign of weaknesses or insecurity?
Learn the rules well so you can break them. I have heard this said and I love it. Rules can be useful but when they begin to supercede morals and ethics, then it is time to break them, I believe.
The life is the more precious good that we have and to remove the life the more hateful crime, especially if the victim is a child and its executioner own mother. I have not never had to choose to abort (also because I would have never made it), creed that the women who decide to make it are lacked moral and material aid, otherwise would not have chosen to make a thing thus terrible. The Catholic church is one of the little remained voices in support of the life (every life) and too much often the church comes accused of interference.
las reglas existen para recordarnos que no debemos actuar como animales solo en base a nuestros instintos. Sin embargo debemos romperlas cuando nuestra escencia se vè afectada.
me niego a creer que una regla no pueda quebrarse o no pueda perder fuerza. El aborto, la eutanasia, la luz roja,la fidelidad, la lealtad, la verdad…. todas ellas son parte de nuestra vida para tomarlos o dejarlos segun ello nos afecte.
Creo que cuando se es padre es vàlido todo, cuando el amor es absoluto ( creo que es un amor de padres a hijos) y por ellos podemos y debemos romper reglas.
Yes about that story..I’m happy it had a big impact.We can’t let this happen.As for breaking the rules?What do you mean?
I do respect people and their beliefs,religions ect..There’s a lot of truth in it but if you take the catholics as an example,you cannot take all the crap from people like some representants of the Vatican.They aren’t God!So many examples and the first is the saying of the pope:”no to condoms”while so many people are dying of Aids in Africa.
I was born catholic,I’m catholic actually but dont want to be brainwashed and follow blindly anyone especially that one!It’s a question about what’s right or wrong.How ridiculous was that excommunion story and how nonsense is those words from the Pope,sending more people to death.So I guess I break the rules everyday and I will continue.
Rules vs ideals {seesmic_video:{“url_thumbnail”:{“value”:”http://t.seesmic.com/thumbnail/AVMkaPI4r4_th1.jpg”}”title”:{“value”:”Rules vs ideals ”}”videoUri”:{“value”:”http://www.seesmic.com/video/3zhHRIeuTL”}}}
Rules are generally made to maintain order and peace. Sometimes the rules does not serve the purpose for which it is made.In the example where you said that a young girl is pregnant and she is not allowed to abort. The rule against abortion will not help the girl or the society.The girl is not responsible enough to bring a baby to the world.By allowing her to continue with the pregnancy, it is a burden on the young girl, it is a burden to the new born and it is a burden to the society. The immature act of a immature person will bring greater chaos in the world. So as long as the rule does not serve its basic purpose,it chould be broken .
I think as long as one maintain balance of good and bad, it is ok. We cant be good all the times and we cant be bad all the times. I always keep a quota for good and bad. If I do 9 good and do 4 bad then it is ok. The similar code i apply for most spheres of life. I have my own codes for leading life, ultimately it does not matter how many rules you broke.Some times by breaking rules you are able to maintain peace and harmony within and outside. Our actions should not cause disorder and chaos in our life as well as in the life of the other people whom we touch upon.
When I was 17, I had an abortion. The father, a year younger than I, was totally against it. I knew from the moment that I found out that I was pregnant, that that was my decision, and no one was going to convince me otherwise – although I do not encourage abortion (I encourage education and birth-control for young people) I still maintain that it was the right decision for the time and place, and in consideration of the circumstances.
When I was 35, I got pregnant again. The father, who was five years older than I, insisted that I have an abortion. Although the pregnancy was not planned and we were not married, from the moment that I found out, I knew that I would keep the child. Although he threatened me to within an inch of my life for my decision, and although he has opted never to meet his daughter, I still maintain that in consideration of our ages and (at least my level of maturity) it was unquestionably the right decision to make.
I am sure I have broken the rules many times in my life, but these two instances stand out for me, particularly because of their seemingly contradictory nature. I know how I felt then, and I know how I feel now; I know how little prepared I was to be a parent then, and I know how well prepared I feel now. Because of these contrary experiences, I maintain that a woman should have the right to choose.
And I know this is likely to invite rebuke and/or spark a heated debate, but I will maintain this position until the day that we are able to PROVE definitively at what point life begins. Until that day, all arguments are based upon speculation and belief – no one knows the truth.
Having said that, I BELIEVE, due to my personal experience with abortion, that life begins at conception. Still, I do not regret my early decision, or feel that it was a mistake.
And I talk about this experience only because I think that women don’t talk about it enough. Many many women have had abortions, and yet it remains the “taboo subject” of our society. And yet the people who talk about it the most – the people most adamant about imposing their opinions on others in the form of legislation – seem to be those who have either had no personal experience with abortion, or are not willing to admit it. It is odd to me that, although abortion is legal (at least here in the US), women who have had abortions are made to feel too ashamed to talk about it, even with their friends.
Em qualquer momento que a religião ou qualquer outro sistema social lhe impeça a livre expressão do espírito, é um momento para se considerar a validade do mesmo.
When we value life which denotes freedom more than death i.e slavery, we break the rule; when we refuse to be obsolete and wish to be reinvented we break the rule;when we refuse to be a coward just to fit in and find our own strength to survive and sustain we break the rule;
If i look back i feel i have felt alive on all the moments when i refused to abide by something which didnot make any sense to me personally.And honestly it does not matter if its by court or society or any institutions order.
Life is to be led by understanding and awareness of one’s self vis a vis one’s surrounding.Rigidity is death.
This is an incredibly complex question of me to answer –
for sometimes the battle requires patience and another day to win…
other times it is the need for action and courage to stand up…
have i ever broken the rules…
hmmm. i would say that i have gone as far as to break some of the rules but never have i tried nor wish to try to break the rule of justice served with truth – for that is a code of honour i live my own life by.
i have broken the rules when an ideology seems to not allow for the freedom – now or in the near future – of that soul/spirit to either express or enact upon their own life’s path.
ie: one for all is not equalised by all for one.
this is when it is time to not even bend, but break the chains ;o)
because if not all members are free actors/players – then is is not a “puppet regime…”?
in international terms, i believe, that the Bush admin should not have broken the UN laws regarding permission/consensus for war… they have now totally undermined the UN system in this respect.
good work.
We break the rules when they no longer make sense to us.
Who are these people anyhow telling us what we must do or not with our bodies? and whether we must use condoms or not? What experiences are they basing themselves on to know what is good or bad for us?
I have never heard anything more stupid than Pope Benedict and his rethorics on Aids. We are living in the 21st century not the dark ages.I like to have a peep into their way of living,,,,
Hi Paulo,
I think I am breaking rules quite frequently in life.
it was August 1994 and I had an abortion at 7 weeks of pregnancy.
I had always had a very rational approach to abortion, feeling that it was not so very different from the way a foetus is aborted naturally, if the body somehow decides that the pregnancy cannot continue.
When I became pregnant in July, my rational “hypotheses” collapsed.
I felt the Universe growing inside me, but nevertheless decided on an abortion in August.
As I lay on the bed, drowsy from the sedative I had been given, I waited for the surgical “vacuum cleaner” to suck the foetus out of me, and the tears poured down my face, and my heart broke.
I knew what I was doing was wrong, and on that bed my heart called to God silently to forgive me.
I have had a few supernatural events in my life, and one of them happened on that bed.
As I lay there, some kind of ray of light, or energy came from above my head and moved like a flash of love into my heart, and I received God’s total and complete forgiveness in that very moment.
My attitude to abortion may surprise people – I felt God forgave me instantly as I cried, but I also feel that God has not asked me to be a crusader AGAINST abortion.
Man-made mental schemes ask for logical consistency. But God does not ask for logical consistency.
The Churches demand “theological consistency” and following “rules”, but God asks for none of this.
He gave me a personal experience of His Truth and Love, and asks me not to judge or campaign for a position.
He has told me in my heart to fight for other causes and not this one.
And sometimes we need to fall from his Grace – as happened to me on that table – to experience His Love and Forgiveness.
How else can He touch us?
As Jesus often said to the people he healed: “Your faith has healed you. Go now and sin no more.”
Blessings,
Karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
rules ? mmmmmmmm ….
in india we have a written constitution, All rules follow from that constitution, are made to fulfill some ‘angle’ of that constituion. the constituion starts with a preamble, preamble is not constituion but it is it’s leading light. the guiding force.
rules are words which are compiled togather to fulfil spirit behind the rules.
whenever rules are found to be in violation of / against the spirit, that rule should be changed, in dire cirsumsrtances they can be broken .
personally i find this rule very undemocratic -” one must waer a helmet when riding a bike” and i routinely break this rule.
about some other rules which i chose to break or rather i didnot stop myself from breaking 1. relationship with married woman. 2. although i prefer to be punctual to meetings etc but i beleive in fexitiming for one’s official work ( unless it involves constant interaction with otheres ), so although our policy has not incorporated it thus far, i chose to have flexi timing to some extent.
3. while in college i was a late raiser ( which hsotelite worth his salt is not ), and i used to bunk fornoon lectures,
4.after reading in paulo’s blog about a town which has no traffic signs, i check at junctions, and if no traffic is comming from other direction, i don’t mind juming red light in the night after 11 pm and early mornings, feels stupid, u are waiting and waiting for upto 120 seconds when not a single vehicle is approaching form other direction.
5…. contless
if one can it’s better to live by the rules, avoides many hassels, thereby freeing one’s enegry for other chosen pursuits. but sometimes one needs to take a stand against a rule and then …
if breaking a rule gives one a guilty feeling, not because of the action of breaking the rule but the outcome, if the outcome gives one a feeling of guilt it’s better not to break such rules.
spekaing of interpretation of rules mentioned in relegious texts like bible or say koran or ….. One must understand that these rules were framed for a certain set of people, living with each other in a particular time. as times change, the context chnages and rules should be changed, otherwise it becomes a mockery of the founder of those rules.
In ancient India we had a tradition, we did not hold any a pripry notion of right or wrong. some people were known to be ‘enlightned’, their actions became the benchmark for others, while those people were free to contradict themselves. actually such people never contradict their earlier behaiour, even when it appears so, there has to be some minute diffrence in background.
enough ?
more than enough
love
aditya
Rules, I guess are guidelines drafted so that a man does not fall prey to evils. But as you’ve mentioned that circumstances should be taken into consideration before taking the rules for final. Circumstances change with time, and so should the rules. There was a time in India when women were burned alive upon death of their husbands(Sati). Originally some women sacrificed their lives upon the demise of their beloved husbands as they couldn’t bear the pain. And they did it upon their will, there was no compulsion at all. But later it became a manipulative tool in hands of greedy priests who declared it as a rule, so as to get a share of the widow’s properties along with her family members. The society could be that cruel…
The rules were reformed by Lord Bentinck (upon insistence of Bengal revolutionary Raja Rammohan Roy)
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