Paulo Coelho
In my notes for the year 1989 I come across some sentences jotted down from a conversation I had with J, whom I call my “master.” At that time we were talking about an unknown mystic called Kenan Rifai, about whom little has been written.
“Kenan Rifai says that when people praise us we should watch how we behave,” says J, “because that means that we hide our faults very well. Finally we end up believing that we are better than we think and then the next step is to let ourselves be dominated by a false feeling of security that will eventually set up dangers all around us.”
“How can we be attentive to the opportunities that life gives us?”
“If you have only two opportunities, learn how to turn them into twelve. When you have twelve they will multiply automatically. That is why Jesus says: “he who has a lot will have a lot more given. He who has little will have that little taken from him.”
“That is one of the harshest sentences in the Gospels. But I have noticed throughout my life that it is absolutely true. So how can we identify the opportunities?”
“Pay attention to every moment, because the opportunity – the “magic instant” – is within our reach, although we always let it pass by because we feel guilty. So try not to waste your time blaming yourself: the universe will see to correcting you if you’re not worthy of what you’re doing.”
“And how is the universe going to correct me?”
“It won’t be through tragedies; these happen because they are part of life, and they should not be thought of as punishment. Generally the universe shows us that we are wrong when it takes away what is most important to us: our friends.
“Kenan Rifai was a man who helped many people find themselves and to achieve a harmonious relation with life. Even so, some of those people proved to be ungrateful and never even turned their head to say ‘thanks’. They turned to him only when their lives were in a state of utter confusion. Rifai helped them again without mentioning the past: he was a man with many friends and the ungrateful always ended up on their own.”
“Those are fine words but I don’t know if I am capable of pardoning ingratitude so easily.”
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I know one ungrateful person in my life, and she happens to be my sister –in-law. For 14 years that I’ve been married to her brother she still could not afford to introduce me as her brother’s wife. But despite of her absurd behaviour, I didn’t get tired in reaching out to her, I didn’t allow any occasion to pass without giving her a present, when she is in our house for a vacation she is very well accommodated. I thought that as the years go by, she will learn to accept me. But when we spent our summer vacation in the town of my husband, I was very disappointed to found out how ungrateful she is. She didn’t even offer us a cup of coffee, nor shown any gestures that we were welcomed in their house. The feeling was very humiliating, and I promised to myself that I won’t set foot on their house again. There were countless instances wherein she showed how ungrateful she is and I opted to keep it to myself, I didn’t even tell my husband about it. Though I have forgiven her, and tried to be nice to her, I could not forget what she did to me.
It is so easy for us to say that we have forgiven someone but to forget what they have done to us is the most difficult thing to do. How can we forgive but not forget?
Dear Alexandra, why do you want to be excluded from my … sending you good thoughts, appreciation and love??? Are you afraid of … the need to return it back?? Ha, ha… !
Kindness, laughs, good words and love cost us nothing and when you give them, you become .. brighter and richer!!
LOVE,
Thelma.
“And how is the universe going to correct me?”
“It won’t be through tragedies; these happen because they are part of life, and they should not be thought of as punishment. Generally the universe shows us that we are wrong when it takes away what is most important to us: our friends.
This is very poinant to me………….is this saying that the life we are living, if its not the true road for us, then that will become evident and the universe will interviene by taking away our securities, and make us feel so lonley and unsupported so that we are forced to change direction?? Is it for example not so much that our friends go away, for our true friends always remain though thick and thin…but rather that the life we are leading, one wher we are not true to ourselves, compramising many of the importannt things that make us who we are, that it smothers us and, makes us isloate ourselves from our friends as we have not got the courage to change the things that deep down we know that we should???? I relate this to a very difficult relationship that i am in…wherby the insecurities of the other person…percive that my time given to my friends and the love and care that I have for them is me putting thme above her, and as a result she has generated problems with them so that the relationship with them other tahn me becomes strained…..I compramise to keep the peace and relinquish the important things so often and I wonder why I am so weak……I know that i should have the courage to end this relationaship whichs stops me from being my true self, stops me from shining brightly, which now sees me waking up each morning wishing the night was not over and that I could find peace asleep in a dream world, and not have to face another day of living a life of compramises being with and doing the things that i would rather not be doing, livng with a person that i would raher not be living…….my weakness in this area of my life surprises me…!!!
gratitude makes the world go around… thanks for the story Paulo
i wish to respond to part one this evening, because of what everyone has written here…
so much of it rings true.. and oh, “the bells, the bells!!”
;o)
tonight i joined my mother to a village church dinner. she has just moved to this beautiful rural village and i am visiting her on way back from Ghana work.
Having grown up in Cambridge I am used to the university feel of life around me, the flow of the river conducting life almost ;o) the traditions of centuries past… [Savita, I would recommend living in Cambridge,England any day!!!]
sometimes the fear of being in a new place, starting from scratch paralyses me and i feel transparent or on show.. but i remind myself quickly of the tough lessons of self-belief, trusting one’s motives, and most of all.. faith in the luminescent mother steady and protective by my side.
after years of being away from home, i suddenly miss the village i grew up in on the banks of the river Cam.
Everything that I am, and that I know, constitutes me… without it.. I am merely the day before/ the job before.. and so on… the blank reality is scary.
however, merely the people’s lust for life, the rolling countryside, the sea so close and viewable, the PEACEful hours upon hours… have overwhelmed me..
i have nothing to hide behind, to lean against…
it is a new day and with new eyes..
maybe just an old heart.
it is difficult to keep up, to pay attention, to not fall to the wayside when so much is moving forward and overwhelming… and so important and of meaning. i look at my mother who seems to be coping with effortless grace.
i don’t want to be a stranger in my new home area…
i hope to demonstrate who i am..without tripping up… without coming across all tooooo enthusiastic!! .. ie: misunderstood or mistrusted, which always is my bad scenario case. so much judgement in this world called ‘paradise’.
i have moved houses so many times, since parents divorce and travels… holding on like ‘a thread’… [incidentally, recently moved from a Chapelhill house in Scotland Savita! ;o) ]… and hopes are now big ambitions.. fearing non of these will be actual….
and knowing that finally it is time to put roots down.. no more traversing or nomadic existence…
.. commitment… needing to have control.. depend on…
how do i connect to this new environment… without fear… and in total commitment…
it totally daunts me.. but then, i have to take my own advice and have faith in where this village and its folk are heading… and not look back…
without being ungrateful for where i’ve been and
with thanks for where i am now.
surely, this is no fright as in “flight or fight”?!
anyway.. a powerful learning experience… all part of the circle of life ;o)
Today
my soul has revealed
some very hidden tears -
My well-designed structures
are about to collapse;
Bravely I see-
the eager commitment to laws of society
has become my false security
I fear to commit to myself
But “the challenge will not wait-
Life does not look back”
This is an opportunity of opportunities
May friends surround me*
like heart I too found this line too catchy to escape a close scrutiny, about rest, i am awiating second installment to contemplate a little more.
““he who has a lot will have a lot more given. He who has little will have that little taken from him.”
yes it is a mere refelction of reality. let’s notice here that nothing is said in absolute terms, how much is more how much is little is not mentioned; it’s how one perceives one situation. if i see that i have a lot, i won’t mind giving away, and i am thinking about the lot that i have, hence that lot grows. if i am thinking that i have little, i will be a miser and will be foucsed on misery and me having little, then i am helping that little grow by giving it strength of my focus, when little grows ( in aulity of littleness ) it be comes more liitle, smaller.
it’s a matter of how one perceives one’s situation ! be focused on misery and misery one gets, be focused on oppulance and oppulanec one invites !
love
aditya
Dear Savita,
I found the following information if you are interested please follow the link http://cemalnur.org/content/view/19/42/lang,en/
With kindness,
Satora
Jesus says: “he who has a lot will have a lot more given. He who has little will have that little taken from him.”
“That is one of the harshest sentences in the Gospels. But I have noticed throughout my life that it is absolutely true.”
Indeed! a harsh example i agree. this seems to embody the ’survival of the fittest’ theory.. or as i heard on the tv programme, Lion Man, … that “nature attacks weakness, yet respects strength” …
so strange and cold i would say – not very friendly of nature neither… especially since i experienced a nasty illness … but, indeed, it was at this time that i discovered who my friends and not-friends were… who would mock and demoralise me, take advayntage.. whilst those who stood by me with their bodies as shields.
but also… this sentence alarms me, because of the society we live in where we go for more and more… overconsuming..
and so to become conscious and responsible, does this mean that we shall lose out socially … by having much taken from us??! perhaps a concept of sustainability must be an economic one, though i have abhored this …. yet it does seem that sacrificing in the name of good lends our selves to be losers… not winners.
such a quandry to be in!
……………..
paying attention to the moment — believe… do not fear fear.
…………
the universe corrects us…
it listens, observes, corrects, directs, understands, agrees, it nods, it laughs, it smiles back. it looks with hopeful eyes, it turns away in disguise and hides…
it keeps our souls alive and seeking this way..
and works within all of us and between us.
its cruel AND kind…
………………
it corrects us through friends ;o)
when i began my Masters degree, God sent along to me a new friend.. someone to lift my soul and walk beside me for a while. I knew it at the time and recognising it, knew it was a sign of hope: a blessing.
still today – some 8 years later, i can guage my behaviour by this friend.. our friendship jeje.
Ha ha ha, “to…say it to them”. You tough, Thelma. I agree with you most of the times, maybe I will be excluded by that treatment. Love,
Alexandra
About people ‘praising’ us, I usually look people opposite me as the best people on Earth. I try to find the most beautiful and bright characteristic and then I find the right time to … say it to them! Not to .. flatter them or praise them, but because in every person there is God and Light! Some just do not .. know it and cover it with ..distrust, insecurity and offensiveness. Then I have noticed that if I consider someone worth of .. love and admiration and ..feel it, then I see that the other reacts with .. the same attitude, LOVE. It is multiplied and fills the place with .. Light.
If we see ugliness and condemn others and criticize them then we get in return the same.. criticism and hate.
Regarding ingratitude.., I am sure that the Universe will return to each one of us the .. answer to our actions and thoughts, multiplied! Good or evil. The reflection of our .. Creative Power.
LOVE,
Thelma.
Pro ec contra.We do usually get praised or punished for the same thing.If we meet somebodys expectation-we get praised,otherwise punished.Expectation is Procrustes’ bed alike.It is a trap.If we will get away,probably,we will not live in Aristotel’s world anymore.
I’m not sure if I am hitting the focus of this headline, but the Bible reference of ‘he who has..will have a lot more’ caught my attention. Similar the parable of those three who got a talent each when the master went away, and how they spent them..one by doing nothing but saving it, the other two made profit and multiplied the coins, hits the same topic. (Mt 25.15)
This is not a judgment, rather a reflection, as I know the Bible also talks about how impossible it is for the rich man to enter into the gates of heaven (Mt 19.23).
So, my point is this. Coelho’s last novel enter into the cult of celebrities and very wealthy people, who have beyond what 99% of the rest of us have of fame and resources. How lucky they are who made such a wealth, and why have they been so lucky and not the rest of us. Did they use their talents, the way the Bible say we are supposed to? Then there is another saying about the ‘the secret of the kingdom of God’ (Mk 4.11), which isn’t about food and drink and clothes and money, but in growing in love.
Mr Paulo, looks self critical on this class of people coming to Cannes or to all the yearly award shows. I had no idea of what goes on in these circles. Being so fascinated with fashion, I follow comments on what they are wearing on the red carpet, and I watch a lot of Hollywood movies which sometimes present insight into what goes on. For instance the film; Eyes Wide Shut, is pretty shocking.
So, I compare this life to my own, and ask if I totally miss out on what is important, and have I failed using my own talents, belonging as I do, probably to the lower middle class (well, I do have a good education and grew up in one of the richest countries in the world). Anyway, I never was able to make money. I never did sell my talents, and make them profit.
Instead, I’ve ended up in positions where one ‘gets the reward in heaven’, with social work so on. Were I to write anything about my last few years, I could pour out of impressions from getting to know fifty different poor American families, I got the opportunity to know in dept, from weekly visits to their homes (a few of them were at times homeless) and families. Yes, they too love and hate each other, and some even kill each other, without as clear motives as the Russian man in ‘The Winner Stands Alone’. But, in the ugliness of the poor class, I find a beauty I cant find anywhere else. I simply love them, and feel so blessed to have been able to spend my time with them. But…I love to be here too :)
“You will be amazed at the incredible power you have to create anything you want out of life simply by taking your raw talent for creation and turning it onto a highly polished skill. Anybody can do it. You can do it. It is your heritage. In fact, as you will learn , you must do it if you are to fulfill your life purpose.”
I love that story, talk. But now I am afraid to praise you too much, maybe I spoil you. If I plan not to praise, I feel the temptation more strong to do that, see, I think now you so wise to be able to discern the praise is because you good, or mere flattering. I dont like ingratitude now less than ever, because I need some help, my situation not very easy ,so, if now friends or relatives I helped turn their backs to me, is really bad.But I am aware I cant change or control all things. Really tough the possibility to lose friends, scared me. And the harsh phrase from Gospel, really true, we must be always ready to take the chance.
The first thing, in reading this, of course, I am curious to know who Kenan Refai is, here is a bit of what I found on him, for those who are also interested: Kenan Refai was a “Sufi master, teacher, writer and translator, who was recognized as a prominent intellectual among his contemporaries. He encouraged the education and professional development of women in Turkey in the early 20th century, when women had been denied involvement in public life. He died in 1950 in Istanbul.”
This information is minimal, of course, and does not at all satisfy curiosity, but I got this information off of the University of North Carolina website, a page announcing a Distinguished Professorship in Kenan Refai’s name that has recently been established there in the Islamic studies department. I also learn that Chapel Hill, the town which is the site of the university hosts a yearly Rumi Festival.
This interests me greatly, because just yesterday I was talking with a friend on the phone, who is very dissatisfied with the place where she lives. She is not happy in her profession as a teacher and greatly longs to open a bakery. She wants to move. I try to encourage her in this, and I get caught up in the enthusiasm for change myself. I am not satisfied with the education that my daughter is receiving where we live (strictly Christian, although it is supposedly a “public” school). There are no other types of schools here, and I want to move to a place that will afford us other options.
So, my friend and I start talking of moving together to a new location, a new city, some place neither of us have ever lived. Finally, I suggest we each independently come up with a list of five potential cities, which we then can compare and see if there is one among those ten that appeals to us both. But, in the mean time, we are still talking about what we want and don’t want in a place to live. The things I want include: access to the outdoors, forests and public parks, hiking trails and places to go out and explore nature. A great school for my daughter, of course. I want to live on the East coast, so as to be able to fly easily and cheaply to Europe, but not in a very large city. A place that is relatively cool and with few mosquitoes. (I am tired of battling the heat and the bugs!) I want to live near a major university, because I like the aura that a university lends, an environment rich in intellectual life and cultural diversity, a place peopled by individuals who have dreams that they are eager to reach. A place that is not 99.9% Christian and working on evicting that other .1%. And, last but not at all least, a place (and I don’t speak this aloud because it seems too personal, and I’m not sure she would know what I mean) a place steeped in mysticism, a place where I can again explore the richness of a spiritual tradition with others who are as curious as myself. And while I am thinking this last thought, she says, “What about Chapel Hill?” “Mmmm…” I say, “That is certainly a possibility.” I almost applied to the University of North Carolina for my undergraduate studies, so I know a little already about Chapel Hill. “Let me do a little research,” I say, “and I’ll get back to you on that.” In the mean time, we each agreed to work on our list of five cities.
In essence, you could say, my friend and I are working on “multiplying our opportunities.” We each are not wholly satisfied with where we live, and yet the obvious prospects, for either of us, does not seem to offer anything that we can feel truly enthusiastic about. For me, the most obvious prospect is to move back to Miami, as I have a network of friends there, which is always a bonus when you have a small child in tow. It is also where my former teacher lives, whom I will name simply as SwamiJi. But I don’t want to go BACK to anything – I want to move forward. I want to move into an environment that is wholly new to me, and thus ripe with unexplored possibilities.
It is funny how opportunities come upon sometimes in the most unexpected ways, how they creep in upon us and make themselves known to us by such subtle avenues. I know a lady who is going on a meditation retreat to a far away city. She does this several times a year, to study under a specific teacher. I asked her, “So, how did you find this place? How did you learn about this teacher in the very beginning?” She said that she had been curious about meditation for a very long time, and one day, as she had a few moments at work when she was not busy, she googled “meditation” and started following the links. This teacher’s name popped up. She made contact with her, and has been a student ever since. One moment a door is closed, or it isn’t even there at all – the next moment it is standing wide open before us, beckoning us to enter.
A list of five cities each, that’s ten altogether. I suppose I’ll have to phone my friend back and tell her “six.” That way we’ll have twelve doors open to us, and maybe one of those doors will look so irresistible that we’ll just have to enter it. Who knows what treasures we’ll find waiting in the other side! Chapel Hill > Rumi > Kenan Refai: these are links that I’ll certainly have to investigate further. A tiny thread perhaps, but who knows where it might lead…?
Thank you, Paulo, for your post today. It offers us wisdom in so many ways. Thanks also for that tiny thread!
Sincerely,
Savita
Dear Paulo,
Yes, Indeed !
-”Those who have even little to give will never be empty of giving. and those who have more to give and does not give will always be feeling pity, later in the end.”
-”Everything is below love and every thing is love.”
-”We are moving with the cosmic love or ‘maya’, those who can self control ‘maya’ will overcome magic powers within.”
-”In the moments of pleasure and growth, we hardly fall and pray to supreme cosmic energy, it is sad that humans never understood that he lives in all of them, individually”.
-”Very few will enlighten the supreme cosmic energy of self, those who will, can heal and those who will not will need help, instead.”
God bless you all !
When you made the comment “the universe will see to correcting you if you’re not worthy of what you’re doing.” Do you mean that that opportunity is not worthy of us or we are not worthy of that opportunity?
Blessings
C
The biggest proof of love which we can make to those who we love it is:
leave the freedom,
give our forgiveness
(miséricorde)
(even if I suffered a lot to have to leave the freedom, the freedom to leave far from me, my torn heart; even if the forgiveness
(miséricorde) is difficult to give: to give it = it is to love, and to find more freedom in our heart and more love afterward)
Manage to love more that or even = > to know how to forgive and not judge (even if the acts of the other one hurt(damage) you): it is to LOVE (love itself and love the other one)
The peace engenders the peace, the love engenders the love
It is thus essential (not easy, but essential)
I think that Kenan Rifai was able to continue helping others regardless their ingratitude because he had very pure view of them. If you think about the other person as ungrateful and of yourself as benefactor then you immediately view them as lower then yourself. And with this sort of mind it is unlikely that you will continue helping them in the way they need it. But if you don not allow negative thoughts toward others to poison your mind and you view them as friends then you don’t have the problem. And your universe will shine back the same light that is coming from your heart. Kenan Rifai spiritually was far beyond people around him but he didn’t contemplate his greatness, he was far beyond that.