If you have to choose between a person you love and a person you trust in, which one would you choose? In other words, what’s more important in a relationship: love or trust?
Ask yourself this question : would you prefer to be loved or trusted?
From my point of view – love and trust walk hand in hand. Love without trust is just passion, and trust without love is law.
{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
paulo,
i won’t say good answer, but an answer from a person who has known both trust and love.
santosh bhai, u ave said “In relationship, love cannot proceed without trust and those who are trustworthy not necessarily are capable of love” u see krisha, the god, was also called ‘chaliya’ the cheat. surely one cannot find a cheat as trustworthy, but such is love, love exists with or without trust, because in love the wellbeing, the happiness of other person becomes so imporatnt that to trust or not to trust becomes a moot point, let me share with all u freinds here a ‘ser’ a couplet by ghalib ( ghalib was a great poet, who is yet to be discovberd by west .
“tere vaade per jiye hum to yeah jaan jhoot jaana,
ke khushi se mar hi jaate gar aitbaar hota”
rough translation, sort of
‘ beloved if i tell you that i lived on your promise, lived on due to your promise ( that u will come to see me ), know that i am lying, because had i belived your prmoise wouldnot have i died out of happiness”
love
aditya
in a relationship we usually like the challenge. very seldom there are people who have reached the the maturity to use rationality and the spirit of self preservation. there are some exceptions who are born like this. but the big amount of people have this strange interior attraction towards fighting for the one you love.
so if i were to answer the question i would deffinitelly say; in a relationship you chose the one who hurts you most. and after you have been through all trials , your heart, afraid to suffer again, would chose trust.
Alexandra – I admire Mother Teresa. Such a humble and benevolent woman who exudes the model of how to be self-less. Viewing her life’s work always pulls deep compassion from my soul.
trust trust trust
it is my 1st rull in life
trust trust trust
i would never be able to be with someone without trusting him or her!!!!!!!!!
its my no, 1 condition love without trust its a misserable life!!!!
I want both, definitely. But being the fool I am, I would probably go for love instead of trust. Which in the long run could mean not so much love. Then I have neither – if the person turns out to be a jackass love can grow into major irritation. Conclusion: In the long run both are necessary.
El amor y la confianza van de la mano. En mi caso yo solo confio en Dios y La Virgen solo se que ellos Jamas me fallaran. Nunca te fies de nadie. Especialmente de la gente que admiras. Esos son los que te pegaran las peores puñaladas.
I think that trust is the most important thing. If you do not trust a person and you love that person, eventually that love will slowly disintegrate into hatred. Trust and love go hand in hand.
trust is the best part of love, they work together.
Quite interesting question, I can say. Love..trust..lucky are those who can have both, trully and without any questionmarks.
I had someone who I loved deeply and trusted deeply, till questionmarks on trust appeared. Then was all insecure, and what is love but feeling “secure” and “protected” in the arms of ur loved one?!
Time passed, trust failed …love failed too, I guess….but my heart keeps beating fast whenever I think of things we shared.
So I often ask myself if it’s love what I still have inside, or it’s just a heartache after a love was “killed”… Love…it is what I wish it was …but not what it really is!
This question very interesting. It is necessary to answer this question at once not considering, or after long reflections, not once approaching{suiting} to the keyboard. I have made a pause and consequently this text corresponded not once. In Russian the word “WORLD” has many values, and is written so. The word “LOVE” is written so for various images of its{her} display in attitudes{relations} between people and in general. The love happens between the man and the woman, between mother and the child, the person and the Native land and so forth. As the trust can arise between various situations.
To books Пауло Коэльо I have come through Vadim Zelanda’s books ” Трансерфиг a reality ”, therefore I would not take what book Пауло Коэльо, I understood that it{he} wished to inform up to the person. My opinion – the LOVE and TRUST are forms of the same displays of the person to whom or or to what or.
Этот вопрос очень интересный. На этот вопрос надо отвечать сразу не обдумывая, или после долгих размышлений, не один раз подходя к клавиатуре. Я сделал паузу и поэтому этот текст переписывался не один раз. В русском языке слово “МИР” имеет много значений, а пишится так. Слово “ЛЮБОВЬ” пишется так для различных образов ее проявления в отношениях между людьми и вообще. Любовь бывает между мужчиной и женщиной, между матерью и ребенком, человеком и Родиной и тому подобное. Так же доверие может возникать между различными ситуациями.
К книгам Пауло Коэльо я пришел через книги Вадима Зеланда ” Трансерфиг реальность”, поэтому какую бы книгу Пауло Коэльо я бы не взял, японимал что он ходел донести до человека. Мое мнение – ЛЮБОВЬ и ДОВЕРИЕ – это формы одного и тогоже проявления человека к кому либо или к чему либо.
Love is more wider term which encompasses many things such as trust,compassion,altruism,sacrifice etc.IT can be interpreted in many diffrent ways.
So You trust the person you love. These demarcation and terms such as love and trust is for our understanding.trust and love can be used interchangeably.
Hello T.K. Thanks for the quotes, loved them. You are right. Thanks for mentioning Mother Theresa from Calcuta. I saw a movie abour her life, was so touching. I think I admire her a lot. With the semblance of a frail woman, she was so powerful. The example of what faith can do. Much much Love,
Alexandra
If we have to choose we, of course, would choose the ..Ideal!!!
Eros + Love + Friendship + Trust + Faithfulness + Tenderness + Respect + Passion … All in ONE. ;]
Every relationship is different. We love each person, in our life, differently. In every stage of our life we have different needs..
Trust is something that concerns every relationship.. but then there are very few people that we can … trust, to put our …life and heart in their hands! We end up then, preferring the safety of our walls and the solitude of our autonomy!
I think that these matters are governed by the Law of Karma, our Destiny. Nothing is a .. coincidence. The plan.
LOVE,
Thelma.
love, along with trust is the most precious and secure experience, but once you lose either of it, the other fades away…it is bitter
So sorry, not Sheela, but Sherry Bakhtian…
http://icreateaspace.com/
Cannot find the post I was talking about…
Anyways,
Thank you!
I agree, both are important in a relationship, but we can still love those we don’t trust. The important point is to not forget that they cannot be trusted. The moment you forget, is when you’ll get hurt.
Sherry (http://evolutioninconsciousness.blogspot.com/)
So true, this reminds me of a post Sheela made once…
If we accept only love, or only trust, we are deceiving ourselves, settling for less than what we want…
Because I believe, as dear Paulo said, everybody wants both love and trust, and they go hand in hand.
love,
C.
Dear Heidy,
This is obviously a hypothetic question, but I would say that if this question stems from an actual situation in your life – if you are indeed trying choose between a person that you love and another person that you trust – it is time to look for a third option. Settle for neither! Someone once said, “If given only two choices, always opt for the third.” This, I would say, holds particularly true in the situation which you describe.
I know that when it comes to love, as for myself: I WANT IT ALL. That may sound very demanding, and I am not saying that I expect “perfection” in a mate, but what I am saying is that I am not going to allow anyone to make love into a multiple choice question for me to answer: Do you choose A) someone that you love, B) someone that you trust, C) someone with whom you share a deep spiritual connection D) someone whom you feel physically attracted to, E) someone who loves you in return, F) someone who treats you with respect … and so on… I choose Z) ALL OF THE ABOVE. In love, it is all or nothing. There are certain elements which I consider essential, and if one of them is missing, I trust that the Universe simply has not yet revealed the person who is right for me. I will not be pressured into making a choice that I know, ultimately, will leave me dissatisfied or regretful. I would rather wait until I am sixty, if I have to, even seventy, or eighty – if God grant me the blessing to live that long – rather than make a hasty choice that will only lead to misery and disappointment as time passes.
Wait, and when the Universe does reveal this person to you – and there IS someone for everyone – you won’t have to make a choice, because everything will be there. The relationship will be complete. Nothing will be lacking from it. This, I firmly believe.
DISCLAIMER: At forty-two, I am still single and am not even in a relationship, so if you’re looking for a quick solution, you might consider that I am not one to take advice from. Sometimes we have to wait for a very loooooooooooooong time. (Still I believe.)
Wishing you all the best!
Savita
Love and trust go hand in hand as does fear and hate.
Paulo – I appreciate your response. It makes complete sense. Here are two quotes about trust:
one from the saint of Calcutta (mother teresa) “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much”
Knowing that God trusts me has not been my problem, I have diffuculty trusting myself. I guess this is where not being afraid to mistakes comes into play.
George MacDonald: “To Be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved” I have found this quote to speak very loud in my life. I’m not very trusting of others but learning to let go and give people a chance. Again, it always comes back to me trusting myself. This is where I am on my journey. Trusting the process…
All in One.What Love is “made of?”Many things are included.Gesture,every movement,eyes,which can talk without words,flexible and extremly rich voice capture your attention and from “the form” you go to “the content”,which are really the same.Everybody was “tailored” for somebody.When you love the Person as “the Whole”, the question about trust will not arise,as it’s the part of Love.
Querido Mestre,
Onde ha confiança, ha sempre amor. Mas nem sempre aonde ha amor ha confiança. Quero poder confiar de novo no amor, vivê-lo em toda intensidade sem medo, e acho que ja estou pronta pra isso. é muito bom voltar da tempestade, e deixar todos os sentimentos que ela causou no vento.
MARG,
Ca
It seems to me
that people show – their trust in me
but not necesserily their love for me
Is that so because they can`t cope with all of me -
or with all of themselves?
Again
it`s difficult to measure love
Easier with trust – I guess
Trust is often about doing
& love about being
True love inhabit the trust
& opposite*
Cool question, very interesting. Nice answer, but I am still thinking about the question.
;o)
yes – they go hand in hand..
but you could say trust.. for love is little without trust.
Ah love, is the most beautiful thing in the world. It can be felt. It can be given and taken. It is so many things, its feeling, emotion, mental and physical. Now trust differs because it is hidden, trust has to be earned. And though we may trust a person, does that mean the person is trustworthy. Peoples love can ebb and flow but once trust is broken there really is no way back.
Ha ha ha… Nice answer.One of my friend use to say when ready to make me angry, as a reply: Ask yourself… Oh,God.Yeah, sure we want both things. As one would like only to eat,or only to drink. We need both things,but of course depends of the situation. From a lover or a close relative, friend we want love and trust, but for a common person, only trust would be just fine.Is my humble opinion.
Besides, I feel funny today. Hope my comments are looking reasonable. The holiday maybe has an slight influence on me. Have a nice time everybody, Love
Alexandra
Clever question and clever answer.
;)
Dear all,
Q)If you have to choose between a person you love and a person you trust in, which one would you choose? In other words, what’s more important in a relationship: love or trust?
A)Choose that person whom you love because the person whom you love, is the person whom you already trust, and that person whom you are trusting or have started to trust, you will slowly start to love.
Mr. A is lovable and Mr. A is nice, trustworthy. Choose Mr. A
Mr. A is not lovable and Mr. A is nice, trustworthy. Choose or Not
In relationship, love cannot proceed without trust and those who are trustworthy not necessarily are capable of love.
To be in safe side, as Paulo did- it is better to say, “Both”.
But, Nothing is above Love nor below love. It is love which moves the earth, it is love which brings the sunlight and energy, it is love which makes you awake and enlightened. Without love there is nothing, everything will be void, everything will explode and erode.
God bless you all !
Both.They go hand in hand.
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