There is a small book here, in French called “Nasty Stories about Great Men”.
Of course we all have nasty stories that we wish no one to hear, but sooner or later, they will surface.
That’s why I permitted the publishing of my biography that’s not yet in English but is in Portuguese and Spanish.
So – you cannot hide – and what would you say to your children that you don’t dare to say now? What will they discover after you die?
I invite you to share this in the blog – either anonymously or with your real name. This way we can see that our vices are not that bad and that we are not the only ones with these flaws.
We can then see these defaults as qualities because we survived. We are warriors of light that even against all odds are able to follow our paths without surrendering to guilt.
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I have done many shameful things in my life, including dancing in the street, shouting and staring at the sun……the point is, it was only shameful because others did see. so I have no secrets.
I think that is the point
none of the above ‘shameful acts’ are shameful, unless others know.
is that a paradox?
Hi Catherine,
You are right, it is not bad thing to share someones deepest woes, as you said. I do not blame persons doing it, I well understand their need but it is trust that they put on you that has double face.
If secret surface who is to blame, if you have secret and can not keep it for yourself then why, oh why do you expect me to do it for you ?
I am person who can keep secrets “like grave” as they say it here and because of it quite often I am to hear “shameful secrets” .
But what is realy shameful ?
Breaking moral principles, social taboos….? No, not for me.
For me shameful would be anything that hurts and is against our own Love ( betrayal, treachery, falsehood ). I am not talking about unfidelity or unfaithfulness in general, but deep, deep wounds most of us experienced, the wound that leaves you weak, raw and bleeding.
Love
Luce
I am a willing member of Alcoholics Annonymous.
Just last month, I volunteered to tell my story – the story of how alcohol played a role in my life.
It was difficult to do. I was very nervous. When it was done, I felt relieved. My painful secret was finally no longer secret. I faced my demon fully.
Thelma,
u’r parents were right, whatsoever we so, we are watched, even our thoughts are watched, even intentions are watched — by ourselves ! looking in the mirror !
does not mean one is not allowed to have some fun !
love
aditya
Dear Aditya,
thank you for reading my comment. As you know I belong to the Greek Orthodox church, which is not against .. fun, laughter and happiness. Our culture is full of feasts and celebrations. Since Ancient Times our civilization has shown the immense love of the people for life, lust,festivities, drama and comedy. Aphrodite was born in Cyprus, who was the Goddess of LOVE. But a quote, that is famous and I agree with it, is : Πάν μέτρον άριστον = Nothing in excess. So we have to keep the … balance in everything! Regarding morality it is different in every place, time, religion, era and even from person to person. We have to ‘know ourselves’.
LOVE,
Thelma.
Hi Aditya!
I always read your postings with attention, as what you have to say are great reflections…i.e. what you do for 400 families every month! My greatest respect to you. As this is not a chat room, I’m a bit embarrassed to take up space with conversations, so I will keep it brief, no matter how much I’d LIKE to go on in depth discussing with you.
Aditya, I agree no one has the right to take any life, to kill or to murder (I saw a Jewish authority yesterday who were upset pope Benedicte used the word kill, when he should have said the Jews were murdered). No, indeed my friend did something wrong, many would call it a mortal sin. However, it’s all in the intention, and only God can read our hearts, so we should always forgive each other, and not condemn anybody. As I knew this man quite well, of course as you say, just bits and pieces of his life, I know he was completely in desperation, a desperation he might have brought upon himself in many ways, but as far as I could tell, a desperation brought upon him by others! Honestly, I don’t think he is suffering in purgatory, I think he went straight to heaven, and is our angel.
Aditya, I smile by your attempt to guess what goes on after we are dead, as this will all be speculations. We do not know. I admire you for spending time, and me to, I hope my soul will be, to use a word Thelma used, be angelic enough, to enter into the promised heaven. Anyway, I deeply respect your faith and how you are willing to share it with all of us. Here is a prayer I saw yesterday, which can help us leave it all in the hands of the Supreme Being, whatever we call Him/Her;
‘Lord help me to measure not the dept of my sin, but the depth of Your mercy.
Lord, help me to not gauge my faults against those of others but instead, help me to concentrate on Your immeasurable compassion.
Lord, help me to forgive myself in the same way that You forgive me. Help me to learn from past mistakes instead of being imprisoned by them.’ (From An Hour with Jesus, The Riehle Foundation)
Thanks again Aditya,
Heart
In the end, I remembered my human nature. I am a sinner, for I am not a Saint. I am only the far far relative of Eve…
well heres another nasty story about a man?( i guess)
Read at own risk
I think it is important to talk about our Dark Side. Just as Paulo said: we are warriors of light… Every warrior of light needs other people. Because everyone can be good mirror image for the others. We are similar. We all have dark side… And we all try to keep it in secret…
Dear Paulo,
why did you give us this topic?? I think because you wanted to make us feeling like in some kind of… brotherhood. If this so, I agree, this is a good idea.
Thoughts and opions are individual.
Shameful acts we had done may not necessarily be as shameful as the acts done unto us. There is no right or wrong if we choose to face up to our demons, keep them in the closet, or share it with the people around us.
Everyone has a past and everybody has dark sides.
With all said and done, we are here to share our opinions in this forum, not as much to impose our ideas onto others.
Susan thank you, the love you show me, without knowing me, is so touching and uplifting and appreciated
love antnony
One thing about the book you mentioned, the one about great men. The problem is whether the facts are inspired by gossip, or there are true stories. Sometimes we have a subjective point of view.
Thelma,
u’r parents were right, whasover we so, we are watched, even our thoughts are watched, even intentions are watched — by ourselves ! looking in the mirror !
does not mean one is not allowed to have some fun !
love
aditya
paulo,
although number of submissions are high ! people are not really confessing to their sins ! wols don’t do much of what one needs to hide, neither do they go on telling the world their sins, needlessly ( in your case it’s diffrent, u are a public figure now ), this is as it should be.
as for people who said they are not going to reda you, well the loss is theirs not yours, in india the greatest of our epics ramayana was written by Valmiki, who was a former robber, so every saint has a past and every sinner a future, no !
carolena,
yes it was a life we lived, are living. on judgement day, god will not be too interested in counting whether we lived a pious life or not, what really counts is whether we lived our life with the intesnsity we could ! whether we found love, and love is not found in another person, another person may only help you trigger your own love fountain ! when for someone you are even willing to anhiliate your very existance, then love opens your fountain of love to you. you become a child of the universe, SHE takes you in her own ‘aanchal’
love
aditya
Dear all,
It takes courage to say the things one feels is nasty and shameful but these things are the ones which make us and enable us go ahead with the many other things in life. Jesus says that once we confess our sins and we repent, it is forgotten and thrown into the sea and forgotten, never to be brought back again. We are the ones who choose to remember them over and keep them alive. So, I guess, once you have repented and felt that it was something nasty/wrong, the deeds are cancelled. We got to move on in life by learning the lessons the experience had to offer. Telling these things to our children/grand chlidren is absolutely of no use as the present is the what the children learn from. Life will give its fair share to them and they don’t have to learn from our ‘past’. We have to come in terms with our past and realise that its a phase that belonged to us and that it taught us many things while at the same time helping us to realise that we are also capable of wrong and also that we have the power to move on.
Its nice for some to confess stuff here in this forum and some may choose not to but what is important is that we are moving on with life. When life gives us amny reasons to revel in the present, why choose to rewind in flashback mode the past. It happened. So what? Move on a richer, soulful YOU.
Antony, hope you are gaining courage by the day. I wish you passion for life and love always.
Thanks Paulo for this forum!
Hi Heart !
of course we are all expressing our opinions ! and we are entiteld to our unique point of view !
as for chrurch, religions have no business being harsh or judgemental towards anyone ! in the eyes of god all men ( and of course women ) are one, and all maybe treated equally. This being harsh was surely an addition by the buruuacras who run any establishment !
about the resoning behind – prohibiting suicide – see the manifest events of life, what we physically see is a small fraction of the whole truth, what we see is merely as they say tip of the iceberg ! whatever happens, happens for a divine will, even wars and ‘wrongs’ that we see ! not saying we should encourage wrongs, in fcat we should discourage, but if and when they happen, we must endure ! events are designed to tecah us something, som aspect of life which will take us closer to our goal ! life is precious, ( your body is the greteast machine ever made ), it is not just yours, it is of the universe.
when we don’t give life to ourselves don’t you think it only fair that we have no right to take away our life. whoever gives life has a right to take it away, parents should not start thinking that because they give life they have a right over the life of their children ! parents merely facilitate life, are a passage !
this was the theory part – now what happens ‘practically’, which is cited as reason for prohibiting suicide. this point onwards, i am saying what i have heard, X comits suicide to escape a certain situation, wwhich X finds underable. after commiting suicide, X remains trapped in the very situation, it was trying to escape, actually there is no escape, only transcndence is possible ! now X does not even have the benfit of a body, so a situation which would have passed in say X time, will now hang on for 1000X time, X will have to locate a situation where it can relive that expereince which caused it to comit suicide and then only go beyond. as per hindu scriptures, suicide does not alleviate one from misery, it adds to it. hence the prohibition.
but all said and done, once someone is dead, his body and soul have separated, it’s inhuman to disciminate ! but then as khahlil gibran said – mucn in man is not yet man !
love
aditya
PS : i feel it’s better to cremate than to bury, when within no time teh bbody will decay anyway, wy not cremate it with dignity and in my full view. personal opinion !
Dear Paulo,
now you have touched the ‘tabu’ area and people feel uneasy talking about it because it is connected with ‘quilt’, ‘sin’, ‘pain’,'sex’,'envy’,'fears’,and so on..I know that you are not actually interested in any personal story but you are giving the opportunity to bring light into darkness. This is the right way (to make it public) to prevent people of ‘using’ this darkness in order to act in a wrong way again, and it is the possibility to prevent them to happen again. Nobody should hide people who did ‘wrong’, or if it is about oneselfs’ quilt -forgive yourself …light is needed there where darkness is..and it will fade away.. for us a relief, for others an example. And then you can strenghten to be creative and happier.
Hi everyone. I’m from Poland, so forgive me my poor english. Anyway, there is one thing I can tell you. It was last november. My friend decided to work in army and he made “farewell party”. In two hours I was totally drunk. My friend’s sister helped me to go back home. You know, I never had a girlfriend. So I decided to kiss her. But she… ekhm… wasn’t beatufil, may I say. I always believed I will find my second half, but then I had a crisis of faith. Know I’m shamed because I took this girl like a “happymaker”. Anyway, that was my first frenchkiss.
I came across this blog about a week ago it made me smile. http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
Cinta Indah – I also agree with you .. in that some make useful stories to learn from and share with our grandchildren.
Luce – to share someones deepest woes is not a bad thing… it is an act of trust in you by the other person; and an act of compassion and humanity for yourself, no?
Anyway
I would say also that it is difficult to emanate everything that is good in life; and for me just failing in that is my shame; however, I have learnt to accept my failings and falliability. and this is ok. I still live, i still love. i learn each time and try to do my best in the next instance.
Shameful acts….or shameful inaction…..I am ashamed of the great fears that i have which prevent me from doing what I should do in order to become alive and free, namely the fear of ending a realtionship which causes me so much distress…yet I fear (as i have mentioned before) the wrath and retribution that may follow, the disruption and upset for my lovely little boy, who is everything to me……but I stay for him, but is that the right reason…or do I use that as an excuse because my own fears and insecurities imprison me…..the though of causing others to suffer because of my action overwhelm me…..but if I stay will I just continue to to compramise and be reduced in spirit, and in life, and slowly wither….then I fear that I will be no use to my littel boy, as i will not be all that I can and should be for him………???? Shamefull, in action…….shameful indecsion……I am so truly ashamed at that..!!
Susan and the others who wrote on the blog last week following my expressions on there, can I say thatnk you for you loving, kind and encouraging words, they were and are very much apprecaited
love Anthony.
Don’t we all agree that as we journey through life, there are the challenges we need to overcome.
We don’t always make wise decisions in life. Sometimes we don’t even THINK, we just DO. And in doing so, we may have crossed the line between good and bad, or right and wrong.
Some people break the law, others have extra marital affairs, some quit school, and the list goes on. But look how we all turned out. Not too bad I would say, albeit our “walk on the wild side”.
If we hadn’t done what we did, we may turn out different. But if we’re happy with the way we are now (we don’t have to be perfect), then what’s there to be guilty about ?
What we had done was a shameful act in the past, and we have ride our guilt-trip through life. It could be an interesting story to pass on, where our children and grandchildren could learn from our mistakes. It could even help with the choices that they would make as they journey through life.
Revelation is in the Universe. . .
Its eyes see all, know all
Its breath takes in all, its ears hear all
Its heart weeps for lost souls
Its tears speak of regrets and sadness
As beings continue to shade their darkest of secrets and acts
From the eyes of others, not knowing
That the universe is their main witness
And eventually everything comes back to the ultimate revelation
Not to others, but to oneself
Dear Paulo,
All in all, a storm in a teacup really.
Scratching my head over three times nothing.
Nothing much to report. I have spoken to my children and they are still talking with me. Can you imagine the happiness I felt?
I wanted to share it with you.
From now on things can only improve.
I got your book “The winner stands alone” on Sunday.
Thanks for all the good ideas.
You are the best.
I love you.
Marie-Christine
Mr. Coelho,
I wanted to say how AMAZING I think you are! And how brave and courageous.
There is nothing to feel bad about. I think it might just shock some people, but hey, it was a life we lived!
I extend my utmost respect to you!
Love & Blessings.
Now I am ashame I wrote a long essay, based on a real valid research, introduction, body, chapters, all done. But, I have no idea what to write as conclusion….
Dear Paulo, even if you the things described in your book were unusual, I really dont know why one should not read your novels anymore. The private life is a different thing, apart of the work of the author. And accusing is so easy, just really giving a hand is more difficult. Now I think in that manner: no one who was not near me, not trying to help, or to support me has the right to judge or accuse my deeds. Already told you how much I appreciate your courage to be sincere, and your person, that you are now, a good hearted man, always open, friendly, faithful,so on. Much love, Alexandra
I can honestly say that there is nothing that I am shameful about!
Yes I’ve done wrong things, as many people have during their lifetimes. And Yes I’ve felt shame at times in the past, but I don’t feel the emotion of shame now.
When I act a certain way, may it be wrong or right, I do so because that is all there is in my capacity, that is all I am capable of doing at the moment. And I believe this is true of most all people.
The saying ‘don’t worry, he doesn’t know any better’ that is true. We do certain things because we don’t Know any better.
To feel shame is to feel that someone has done something Wrong. Again I believe, right and wrong are relative.
I’m trying to think hard about what I feel shameful about, but nothing is coming to my mind. I will have to think more.
Hi Paulo,
Is there any chance to release bit of your biograhy in English maybe in website?
It takes lots of courage for one to be totally honest to others, but even more courage to be totally honest to oneself. I really have lots to learn in this journey.
Really grateful to have you shining the lights to lead us to the path, sometimes even meaning to have to burn yourself!
Enjoy your trip!
Sylv
I feel ashamed that I feel like I have mastered the technique of falling in love- that I have learned that immersing myself in certain necessary components will consistently produce a sensation that I recognize as being in love. It makes me sad as it undoubtedly takes some (but not all) of the magic of the experience.
THANK YOU SO FAR. I THOUGHT THIS SUBJECT WAS NOT GOING TO HAVE MORE THAN 30 ANSWERS, AND WE ARE OVER 73 IN ONE DAY. I ENCOURAGE ANONYMITY IN THIS CASE. WRITING ABOUT SOMETHING WE DID AND WE ARE NOT PROUD HAS THE GIFT OF TAKING THIS FROM OUR SHOULDERS. IN THE CASE OF MY BIOGRAPHY, YES I THOUGHT ABOUT THE FUTURE – SO I DECIDED TO HAVE IT WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED WITHOUT ANY CENSORSHIP. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOOSE A LOT OF READERS, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY THEY NEEDED TO KNOW WHO AM I. SO FAR, AFTER ONE YEAR OF PUBLICATION (FIRST IN PORTUGUESE, NOW IN CHECH AND SPANISH, AS THE PUBLISHERS ARE WAITING FOR 2O10) I ONLY GOT 3 (THREE, YES) EMAILS SAYING THAT THEY WERE NOT GOING TO READ ME ANYMORE.
En Realida ya he sufrido grandes verguenzas y humllaciones, pero lo mas vergonzoso en mi via ha sido cuando despes de hacer el amor y no toma precauciones, h convenidocon mis parejas ocasionales,tomar la Pildora del dia Despues.
Pero Dios me ha puesto a preba y ahora una chica me reclama la pateridad y yo he dicho que si que lo tenga, que me hare responsable del bebe si es mio(despues de las prubas de paternidad).
Estoy tan aterrado como la primera vez, no! aun mas que la primera vez ,pues si el bebe es mio, es para toda la vida y a la madre la he viisto 3 veces en mi vida y ni siquiera le di mi telefono por no tener interes en mantener ninguna relaccion con ella.
La gnte ya se burla de mi, pero no dejare ya nunca que el miedo a nada y tampoco a la verguenza, impidan mi vida y menos la de un bebe.
Dear Aurora,
I too felt the absence of Savita on the blog, and it m’inquietée because in habit shes writed here every day. I thought that may be after it took a trip. A recent post she left she told that it may be would very demenagement.En hope that everything is good for her on wainting the news.
Love,
Cassia
I’m not going to talk about myself but I have a message for the person who wrote about her abortion and domestic abuse (Abused Soul).
you are not alone.
Millions of women around the world today have been through similar experiences, whether it is having an abortion and regretting it, being forced to have one or having verbally, physically and/or sexually abusive partners.
I hope that you will see your experience in a positive light, an area where you learned a lesson, and maybe even work towards helping other women who experience the same things.
No one deserves what you have been through and I am sorry for it. I’m also glad that you are now out of that relationship and hope you have the faith to realize that there are good men in the world out there. There is support when you look for it; we try to stand together, and I hope that you will find those women and men who will understand, support, and love you.
With all my love,
Lama
I am feel dumb that I have told those stupid mini-lies (although there is not such a thing as a small lie, really) to my friends and close ones…
What I would describe as shameful would probably be times I have not helped people in need or those weaker in any aspect than me.
I am ashamed about the opportunities missed because of temporary (or not) weakness or fear.
But overall not many regrets are kept in my head – I try to take what I can from those memories and keep on having fun :)
I just forgot to say that even if I had something shameful in my past I would definitely not put it on internet !
And shameful or dirty secrets of other people do not interest me. When sometimes I am forced to hear my friends confession it is the burden that I accept because of friendship, but burden all the same.
Love
Luce
Dear Paulo,
I took my time to think and surch my memory and though I am not saint or angel I can not find shameful secrets or as Italians say “cadaveri in armadio” probably for same reason as Thelma.
My family upbringing and my mother’s words lead me through the life free, I learned to be free by doing things and living the way it will not make me hide.
Dear Thelma,
You are right, undisturbed long, long peaceful sleep, any time a day or any time a night tells it all and it has emormous value.
Love
Luce
P.S. maybe to someone it might sound like boring and unchallenged life, but I do not think so. One needs courrage to live the life true to principles too.
Eu fui prostituta, mais o meu marido sabe, foi a primeira coisa que eu disse a ele quando nos conhecemos, agora algumas pessoas que conheci a pouco nao sabem, nao me arrependo do que fiz na realidade sinto ate saudades pois foi uma epoca em que cresci muito como ser humano….
It really depends what do we think of being shameful. To one person it probably isn’t the same as for another. And since we don’t think the things to be moral or immoral in the exact way, we also see things differently.
I think we all probably have acted wrongly or done something that we would be/should be ashamed of. Sure, there is a big difference if we act out in a bad way conciously or unconciously (knowing that we’re acting the “wrong way”, or acting the “wrong way” without knowing it).
In another words, there is a big difference if we act out with bad INTENTIONS or not.
Something shameful is if we do not live out to our potentials, settle for less. Shameful is if we do not follow our dreams and be ourselves. Shameful is if we follow blindly and not question what options we have. Shameful is if we do not grow and learn about the life and us and everything around us. Shameful is if we are doing bad instead of good, sowing hate instead of love.
That all is shameful for a person that could do all these things.
I hold dear having a good heart, in the meaning of being “good” and doing “good” to others. Although, not forcing anything that does not need to be forced. As in humans. And I accept people for who they are, and don’t need them to fit for my eye (as in be what I would like them to be). That would be fake and unnatural. I like when people can be themselves. But I do strongly believe in good intentions (versus the bad).
I think that I possibly may have hurt people in the past, a couple of times conciously, when I was a teenager. And also there probably are the unconcious matters, that I don’t even know about. Although, in this complex world of today – I think it’s unpossible to never do anything that may not hurt someone. But some of these “hurtings” may be benefitial in the sense of learning from them or just being true to yourself. Sometimes when You speak truth, others can be hurt. So does that mean You should not speak truth? To not hurt people? … well… I’d stick to truth. Being true to myself.
And yes, different things matter to us.
Also different things shame us.
I have tried living as good as I can since I was a child, because I was told to respect life, people, and nature. And that’s what I’m trying to do. And also hold love in my heart while doing it.
Have a great week,
Liina L.
Dearest Paulo…
I am worried about Savita… She is not around anymore!
Have you heard of her? Is she ok?
With love,
C.
One of my earliest feelings of shame was aged five when during a burglary at a holiday beach hut we were staying, my string doll necklace was taken from me and used to help tie up my family. I remember the feeling of having aided the intruders and how much this meant I had let my own family down. I also believed that because of being seen playing earlier on that day on the beach, that this had been something to attract the bad attention [we were British living in a Muslim country].. and so since then I tried my best to avoid eye contact or ‘be seen’. Silly really, but that is because i felt shame.
I managed to finally tell my mother only at age 27 ish and found this so hard! Still guilty …
the same year we were burgled and again faced by intruders.. this time I in my mother’s arms which meant she was thumped/hit lower than her belly… and i felt guilt about this for so long.
Most of my feelings of shame arose from that age.. five years old.. and it took some odd 20 years for life to do a full circle and for me to be able to release and face the feelings of shame.
Then i was a teenager, but thats a whole other phase with lots to feel ashamed about… frankly. however, thankfully teenagers are given a second chance in life … well, luckily i was… but the things were not so bad as i felt them to have been.
being called Catherine, which means Pure… I now often feel that i have this to live up to in my name… ie: a good heart: pure of heart. I’m glad God has forgiven me enought to allow me another few chances yet.
;O) for most of my shame is in having let people down… not given my best when i ought to have done. the world can change and be directed this way… for better or for worse.
I don’t do shameful things.When I do act I behave accordingly to IQ I do possess at the moment of the action.To look back and judge myself in the past I can if I could be identical to myself in the past-but I am not.What I am doing now,probably,will be shamful tomorrow,but I am living now,not tomorrow.Timeviewing makes the person disoriented;to live every precise moment to the full doesn’t create carma-as no Memory is left,which is unsatisfactory ability of timespending.
Dear Heart, once again you are so kind. Thank you so much.
That make me get some courage to say more . Well, I remember now that I promised to return a book lent by a very kind person.The book was so interesting, rare, useful, that I was not able to give it back.Is not my habit, but it happened. And I dont know what happened to the kind man, I lost his notice. Once I met him on the street, he had a bunch of flowers. I asked him for who were the flowers, maybe for a girl? No, he answered, for his mother. I asked what was the event that required the attention? He simply said: it is Sunday… He was unique, I know he was a little genius in computers, and had also two nice germman shepherd dogs.I feel really guilty that I was not honest to that kind person.
Dearest Alexandra, First..I’m smiling so much about your first comment here, where you really want to take your time to think, which of your secrets you want to reveal. We all feel like this. We all give out nice information about ourselves, when we think the time is right.
Second, thank you for your response to my little story. Yes, many of us face these sad moments of self harming, myself numerous times in my life.
Third, I am deeply sorry you were raped, and lost your most precious gift, your virginity, in such a horrific way. Believe me, I don’t know the percentage, of women who have their virginity stolen, but it’s more than the 10-20% official statistic reports. I have met so many women who have been ruined like this. And then, not to be believed. A big hug to you Alexandra. We love you here!!!
***
Dear Aditya,
Thank you for helping me to understand why the Church is so harsh towards human beings who have harmed themselves. Please understand it is just my spontaneous feeling, I haven’t studied the reasoning in the Church law. And, I looovvveee the Catholic Church, and agree with you, because of this law, it dosn’t make me love the Church less. Also, I find it very interesting to learn what you say about Hinduism. What is the reason they have this stand?
If you look at the two acts, the man who killed himself, or the man who raped Alexandra…who would you not bury in sacred ground? (My personal opinion, we should bury anybody who would like to be buried there.)
***
To lighten up this serious conversation a bit… My husband is a Presbyterian, and tells me he wants to be cremated when he dies. Myself, I don’t like the idea of cremation so much. So I tell him, if you die before me, I’ll just ‘wheel you over to the Presbyterians’ and have you buried! :)
You always seem to appear whenever I’m confused about something or bothered by things that i have done. It could be a line or two from your book and today it was this entry from your blog you.
When i was in college I betrayed a friend by not paying a debt i owed her i asked for an extension she refused and threatened to tell my parents instead. I’ve always felt guilty and ashamed over what happened it felt like i took advantage of our friendship. It was never the same again she stopped calling, the letters stopped.
Thanks dear Catherine. God bless you. Love, Alexandra
I enjoy reading biographies, and strongly recommend
-”The Private Life of Chairman Mao” by Dr. Li Zhisui
-”The Shameful Life of Salvador Dali” by Ian Gibson
There is plenty to understand in these two books.
Paulo, what’s the name of your little french book -who’s the author?
Thanks.
Since I was a child my parents have ‘implanted’ in my mind that whatever we do or think, we are ‘watched’! They have also taught us to live and act according to our morality and ethics. My beloved mother used to tell me: ‘Never be afraid of anything or anybody. Do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you! Feel free to express yourself.. If, at the time you go to bed at night, your heart is light and you do not feel ‘guilty’, then you will sleep like a baby..
Well, until now, I sleep always like a … baby!! So many hours of deep sleep every night!! ;] My family complains always for my .. long sleep.
I know I am not an angel. Whatever I have done in my life is ‘well done’. I do not have to ‘confess’ anything to anyone. I am responsible for my .. thoughts, decisions and actions. If I have hurt ‘unintentionally’ anyone and I have realized it, I do not hesitate of asking for forgiveness! If I feel that I have not ‘sinned’ in any way, then I trust myself and my thoughts. After all I believe that we are all FREE to think and act according to our inner self, heart and soul. No man can ‘dictate’ me or ‘force’ me what to do, what to say or how to behave. I think, my dear Paulo Coelho, finally, I … honour my name, THEL E MA!! ;] [Θέλημα= WILL]
LOVE,
Thelma.
while reading some of these stories, I realized how easy it is to put our secrets and nasty stories on the internet when everyone can read it but it is so hard to tell them to our loved ones…Maybe it is because we re afraid that they could see us in a different way (and I don’t mean the good way!!).
My nasty stories are all related to age 17-23 so I ‘d better call them “growin up experience”, as they are really just crazy things that I did when younger. Just wanted to say that telling everything we have to our children is important. I will say everything I have to to my doughter even if it is an imabarassing experience because I think that in that way I would help her to be more carefull or make a better decisions in life. My parents didn’t tell me things (and they still don’t), and I ended finding out from my senile grandmother!! I’ve found out that they were even separated for a long time when a was just a baby.So,at the end I would like to be known at least by the people I care.
Dear Friends !
many things happen / get done in life, somtimes i am a witness and at others maybe an actor( lately both simultaneously !_). i don’t carry any guilt, maybe because i have tried to be sincere.
secondly, like some others here, i too don’t see why should someone share his/her nasty deeds; in case it lightens anyone’s burden. fine.
a logic like, it may be discovered tomorrow so discolose it today, i have a diffrent take on it. it may be discovered tomorrow, so avoid doing it today, but if u have alreday done it yesterday, remember that ‘sermon’ about forgive and forget, forgive u’rself and try not to repeate the mistake again.
people have been hurt by me in past, and in future too there is no gurantee they will not be hurt, nature of human interactions is such, but yes i never intended to hurt anyone, nor everwill.
i went thru all entries here, some ‘things’ must get said. if u love someone and want to marry him ( not her, this is meant for gals ), make sure u don’t have sex with that person before marriage. all said and done about love, love is not why a man goes after a woman, primarily it’s sex, so don’t be foolish and make him wait, otherwise 99 in 100 cases forget that the chap will marry you.
somwone spoke about catholic church denying ‘respect’ to those who kill themselves, much is wrong with established religion, but that does not mean everything about them is wrong. hinduism like chritanity also prohibits suicide, though inclusive religion that hinduism is it does not discriminate against those who do. and without getting too emotional about it, let’s look at why do they have this stand. there is a reason, often enough mentioned on this very site itself !
let bygones be bygones ! if u cann’t then try unburdening u’rself by writing it here, paulo feels it may help !
love
aditya
Dear Paulo and friends,
i have some shameful acts but i would rather reveal them in person because i do not want people to misunderstand me. recently, i find people in real life misunderstand me maybe because they are not capable of seeing my mind or something, which really upset me. so revealing bad things about me in cyber space is kind of risky thing to do, i think, because you never know if people really got them right or not. so i would rather do it in person. but i think i am clean now. thanks for reading. love
J think that there are not many things to hide in life in my case J am not ashamed for what J am Done in My life,Probably that’s not the case with my parents,J was a rabel in high school, ran away ,drinking ,taking drugs,early get merried,and divorsed,now J am having a daugter and try to find a good job but everything is against me ,there are so many problems ,but that,s life …kisses from me
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