There is a small book here, in French called “Nasty Stories about Great Men”.
Of course we all have nasty stories that we wish no one to hear, but sooner or later, they will surface.
That’s why I permitted the publishing of my biography that’s not yet in English but is in Portuguese and Spanish.
So – you cannot hide – and what would you say to your children that you don’t dare to say now? What will they discover after you die?
I invite you to share this in the blog – either anonymously or with your real name. This way we can see that our vices are not that bad and that we are not the only ones with these flaws.
We can then see these defaults as qualities because we survived. We are warriors of light that even against all odds are able to follow our paths without surrendering to guilt.
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I’d been fiends with this guy for many years and we’d always been attracted to each other, but we never really became anything more than that. Then he started to date a girl friend of mine and everything was fine until one night we were all drinking at his house and when everyone left I was still there I couldn’t leave because I was really intoxicated so I was going to spend the night unfotunately one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together. The next day I felt disgusted with myself for the betrayel that I’d done. I honestly don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for that act of indiscretion or if and when this will come back to haunt me, but I do know that there isn’t a day in which I don’t regret doing that
you afre not to be blamed, if you did it without the intention to cheat … if he wasnt intoxicated. then it was something he did on his part and the blame is more on him… he is not a kid who cudnt say no to wat u tried. unless he was juts as intoxicated then i guess it was ok… dont worry your head with it… cheating is when u intentionally try to rob someone of the love which is not urs.
i’m young; i’m not married, i don’t have kids. i’m not exactly ashamed – but scared. scared for my parents when they find out that i’m an atheist. i come from a very catholic family, and i’d probably be disowned – along with my brother – when they find out.
what makes u think or know u are an athiest? juts that u think u are one doesnt make u an athiest…?
Me enamore del hombre equivocado, y casado, y alcoholico. No me hizo ningun caso en basicamente 8 annos, con lo cual me “hizo” sentir (porque yo le otorgue ese poder sobre mis emociones) absolutamente invisible, transparente, inutil, desvalida. De lo que mas me arrepiento es de no haberme amado (a mi misma) lo suficiente como para cortar con la obsesion mucho antes. La experiencia me afecto mucho, me enloquecio un poco y sobretodo me hizo perder el contacto conmigo misma.
Interesante esto de compartir los momentos vergonzosos, muy terapeutico…
Por cierto, hace poco mi terapeuta me pregunto cual era la razon por la que no hablo de esta experiencia tan dolorosa con nadie. Conteste que me era muy dificl de explicarselo a los demas. El me pregunto si podia explicarmelo a mi misma.
Me dejo pensando y me parece que el hecho de no poder darnos a nosotros mismos una explicacion satisfactoria respecto a un evento vergonzoso de nuestro pasado (con esto quiero decir,una explicacion que nos deje en paz con el evento en cuestion), nos lleva a sentirnos culpables y por ende llenos de verguenza.
Creo que la base es perdonarse a si mismo, para lo cual es necesario aceptar nuestros deseos, por muy pervertidos que puedan parecer, con naturalidad.
Con amor,
Maria
i feel ashamed because of my candid attitude towards God the Almighty. I used to be jobless without a penny on me, deeply sad, having no horizons in life and i was praying to god and asking him fervently to grant me an opportunity in this so narrow and bitter life. so did the ALmighty and i was admitted to a ministry on an significant salary. Just a while after, i forgot what God had done for me and i started to flee away from the straight path, the way of god, the way of prayer and worship.
There is a way to be good again…a qoute a friend on his messenger line next to his name. I think it was from the movie Kite Runner. I badly want to believe this, because what I have done,without thinking of the consequences is finally catching up on me. I have food and spending addiction which stems from codependency. And my script from my childhood tells me that I have been really really bad. I am sad about what I have done with sex, other people’s money and trust. I hope to find that way to be good again, not becuase I want people to think I am good, but I feel that my soul and my spirit deserves that kind of nourishment. I am ashamed to the creator who made me and I lack the faith and trust to have him lead my life. I wish I can be good again….more power to you Paulo, maybe someday you can write something about me…a book
Shameful acts admitted are simply a feather added to the wings that help me to fly free. I am a crack addict. I have sold my body for this drug. I have placed my child in harms way to go an try to get more of this drug. All of my children are adults now and I have been away from drugs for some time but still understand the pain and anguish I have caused them, my mother & my beloved. I have also sold my body to pay an electric bill I could not afford. I only make $600.00us a month and the bills was $500.00. I did not want to live without electric. I have lied cheated & stolen. I try now to be honest in every way. Some of the people i have lied to or stolen from have since passed away so I consider doing what is right/honest today as my amends to them. I am not sorry. It is because of these things that I have done that has shaped me into the beauty that I am now. Oh no not physically beautiful. Some thing much more important than that. Beautiful on the inside. Beautiful in the heart that tries everyday to do at least one kind this for another person. I may not have money but I am rich in faith. Faith not found in a bible or church but faith found in love and learning. Peace that’s all I want is peace. Peace to you and yours. Conflict and shame begone. Spread honesty, art and love!
Thank you for your story, I love what you said about shameful acts being a feather added to the wings…
I wish you luck in this journey of life
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Shameful acts admitted are simply a feather added to the wings that help me to fly free. I am a crack addict. I have sold my body for this drug. I have placed my child in harms way to go an try to get more of this drug. All of my children are adults now and I have been away from drugs for some time but still understand the pain and anguish I have caused them, my mother & my beloved. I have also sold my body to pay an electric bill I could not afford. I only make $600.00us a month and the bills was $500.00. I did not want to live without electric. I have lied cheated & stolen. I try now to be honest in every way. Some of the people i have lied to or stolen from have since passed away so I consider doing what is right/honest today as my amends to them. I am not sorry. It is because of these things that I have done that has shaped me into the beauty that I am now. Oh no not physically beautiful. Some thing much more important than that. Beautiful on the inside. Beautiful in the heart that tries everyday to do at least one kind this for another person. I may not have money but I am rich in faith. Faith not found in a bible or church but faith found in love and learning. Peace that’s all I want is peace. Peace to you and yours. Conflict and shame begone. Spread honesty, art and love!
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I have done plenty of things ive been ashamed of..alot worse that not doing my studies or cheating on a lover, you would never know it to look at me but i have been shameful, more shameful than most. I have lived with guilt, pain and humility. I stopped hurting myself and I forgave myself for not being loved as a child and growing up without the right kind of guidance and love. I am honest about what was, but i wasnt afraid to change. Most people who do bad things or shameful acts come from a place that most people could never understand. Most people are acting out their personal pain and frustration.
The worst thing that I did was to ignore myself. I stopped believing in myself. It took me years to get over that, but now I have started believing in myself once again. I have learned to forgive myself. ^^
Dear Thelma,
I am in the early stages of learning how to communicate (infancy one).
I put myself in your shoes and appreciate your comment.
I am interested in knowing what other countries do with regard to alternative medecine.
It is all about sharing so that we can improve our ways of doing things.
I am an optimist and who knows some of the countries might come to the party too?
Paulo, had mentioned previously that we need to talk about subjects that matter. I believe this is one of them
I know I can get carried away with my enthusiasm at times.
I also keep in mind that this is Paulo’s blog and it is up to him to facilitate that or not.
——————————————————————–
The classes have started a while ago , you must have been on leave.
Now…With regard to your hypothyroidism.
I am glad your Doctor Savvas Skalaliondas has advised you well in this matter.
Do you have difficulty with singing when you are in the shower? This can be a sign?
Are you loosing your voice? Do you have puffy eyes? Enlarged thyroid glands? other signs.
I would say a lack of iodine content.
It can affect your metabolism.
The outlook is promising .So take good care and follow the instructions of your good doctor.
Your health is precious.
Boy! I am glad the Swiss have voted and hopefully amended their constitution.”Viva la” Alternativa Medicina.”
A step in the right direction.
Keep on smiling! :)
Love
Marie-Christine
Listening to Vivaldi Concerto for 2 flutes in C, RV533
Myra – I like that “Interfaith Discussions” – discussions about any religions -
For myself, I am ashamed that I was so lazy and self destructive in my school years. I actually took pleasure in people belittling me, as though I felt I deserved it.
I have been very open about it now for quite a while and that is the way I have come to let go bit by bit of my self hate.
Kathleen xxoo
Abused Soul,
It made me so sad to read your story. Please don’t torture yourself. You were vulnerable. Try to forgive yourself. I just wanted to give you a big hug and take it all away.
Kathleen xxxoo
in my way i have to be a daredevil like you.
i don’t make you com to me. i want you lesson to the Miraclest part of your heart.
my life breaks the ordinary ways and find a miracle. but now i’m about to break. youre the one who can save me and save this miracle… please hurry..
Dear Thelma,
I am on the early stages of learning how to communicate (infancy one).
I put myself in your shoes and appreciate your comment.
I am interested in knowing what other countries do with regard to alternative medecine.
It is all about sharing so that we can improve our ways of doing things.
Paulo, had mentioned previously that we need to talk about subjects that matter. I believe this is one of them.
——————————————————————–
The classes have started a while ago , you must have been on leave.
Now…With regard to your hypothyroidism.
I am glad your Doctor Savvas Skalaliondas has advised you well in this matter.
Do you have difficulty with singing when you are in the shower? This can be a sign?
Are you loosing your voice? Do you have puffy eyes? Enlarged thyroid glands? other signs.
I would say a lack of iodine content as a diagnosis.
It can affect your metabolism.
The outlook is promising .So take good care and follow the instructions of your good doctor.
Your health is precious.
Boy! I am glad the Swiss have voted and hopefully amended their constitution.”Viva la Alternativa Medicine.”
A step in the right direction.
Keep on smiling! :)
Love
Marie-Christine
Dear Thelma,
I thank you for your memo.
The classes have started a while ago, you must have been on leave.
I have not consulted with your good Doctor Savvas Skaliondas and I am glad he has advised you well in that matter.
Do you have any difficulty when you are in the shower with singing?
This can be a sign. Are you loosing your voice? Another one.
Lack of iodine content is one of the diagnosis, it can affect your metabolism, especially if the thyroid glands are enlarged.
The outlook is promising ,so take good care of yourself and ensure you take your iodine tablets as prescribed by the good Doctor.
Advise is given freely.
Your health is precious.
Love
Marie-Christine
Boy! I am glad the Swiss have come up with amending their Constitution. A step in the right direction.
Keep on smiling. :)
Marie-Christine
I think that we all have our vices, and sometimes we just conveniently put it away for the timebeing until we’re forced to reveal it in a certain way. Having vices is only natural, but how we improve ourselves is the bigger issue. I don’t think I would want to hear people talking about their vices, unless they really want to. I don’t think I want to be in that unwanted limelight either. The key is to improve yourself and not dwell in past shameful acts that you’ve done.
Dear Paulo,
Just wanted to say I finished reading The Zahir for the eleventh time. And it still makes me cry Don’t know what that means exactly. But thank you so much for the wonderful books. As for jaw dropping things we’ve done..you’re right people will find out one way or the other. So it’s best to come clean. Specially with those we cherish. Love is accepting and free. So there is nothing to fear.
Bendiciones,
Silvana
Dear Mirella I love you too. Kisses to your children, your treasures and enjoy the time with them always, they grow so quickly… Before you realise it they will open . … their wings and fly!! ;]
Dear Marie-Christine, I am here reading your words and ready to learn anything you have to teach us about ‘Alternative medicine’. I personally go to a Homeopathic Doctor here in Cyprus, Dr. Savvas Skaliondas and he has helped me a lot. He has taken the .. ‘black cloud’ over me and helped me with my hypothyroidism. Of course, as you say above, Alternative Medicine faces a fight from the Classical Medicine.
LOVE,
Thelma.
Mayumi -
I am translating part of what I wrote in French
One of the subject I always come back to is cancer (breast cancer in my case) and depression.
I like what Dr Servan Schreiber (author of the book Anti Cancer) says simply because it makes sense.
Why not use the natural methods before using the medicinal products which costs a lot, fix one thing and upset another?
You mention the use of Echinacea (that Paulo’s mentions in the last issue of the ” Warrior of the Light”) and has been scientifically proven that it works.
Dr Servan Schreiber mentions in an interview given to the Swiss Newspaper “Le Temps” the use of StJohn’s-wort for depression before using the pharmaceutical products. He mentions the cost: lower and also the fact that because it is a plant, it is not patented. It is not prescribed because no money will be made out of it.
I would like to know of the possibility of opening a dialogue on the subject and to know what is being done in other countries on the topic of alternative therapies?
You mention working in the area of alternative health. Are you willing to participate?
Thank you.
Marie-Christine
E dopois? Continuo a procurar. Eu precisam de ajudo. Tenho a trajectorios.Sai boas? O cancer de mama (para meu caso) e a depressao.
Provenho sustimento muitas vezes sobre este assunto.
Eu amo o que afirma Dr Servan Schreiber simplemente porque todo ca tem significado.
Porque nao utilizar metodos naturais antes uso de medicamentos que custa muito e que estabelecer uma coisa e outra coisa destabelecert?
Gustaria de saber se estamos pode abrir um dialogo sobre o assunto, e saber o que a feito em outros paises, por exemplo?
Muito obrigada
Marie-Christine
Y despues? Me sigue buscando , tengo necesita ayuda.
He de pistas. Son buenas? El cancer (de Mama)para mi caso, y la depresion.
Vuelvo a menudo sobre este tema.
Me gusta lo que dice el Doctor Servan Schreiber porque simplemente ca a de sentido.
Por que no utilizar los metodes naturales antes de utilizar medicamentos que cuestan mucho mas y que fijaran una cosa y pertuban otra cosa?
Quiero saber si se podra abrir un dialogo sobre este tema y saber lo que se hace en los demas paises, por ejemplo?
Muchas gracias.
E dopo? Il continuare a ricercare , ho bisogno di aiuto. He le tracca. Sono bene? – il cancro (del seno) per il mio caso e la depressione.
Io vengo torna spesso su questo tema.
Io amo cosa dice Dr Servan-Schreiber perche tutti simplicimente ca ha il significato -
Perche non usare i metodi naturali prima dell’uso de medicinali, che costi molto e che fissano una cosa e difissano qualcos altro?
Vorrei sapere se abbiamo mag aprira una finestra di dialogo su questo toma e di sapere che cosa e fatto in altri paesi per esemplo?
Vi ringiaziarno.
Marie-Christine
Thanks to Babylone for the translation
Love You,dear Thelma for your STRENGTH!!!
In other order of ideeas, I ‘v just arrived to Bukarest and I want to be with my children more,than to take time in the internet cafe!
So I will take the floor too,just that will hopfuly be posted in the Archives!FOR THIS TASK I NEED MORE CONCENTRATION!
Now I have to go in park with my children!
and love you All
Love,
Mirela(the woman in elevator)
There is no need to hide or tell my future children any thing, simply because they know every thing about me and there father ,since our both hole history is stored in there
” memory of the cell ”.
If you’re afraid of bad things coming out, they WILL come out, even if you haven’t done this… Don’t be ashamed of yourself…
Aroha – I am sorry for your bad luck … for that is all it sounds like to me: bad luck and maybe, as all are in youth.. maybe naieve. NO shame ;o) So hoping and wishing love and strength of spirit to you.
Pour garder notre jeuness”
“La jeunesse n’est pas une periode de la vie, elle est un etat d’esprit, un effet de la volonte, une intensite emotive, une victoire du courage sur la timidite, du gout de l’aventure sur l’amour du comfort.
On ne devient pas vieux pour avoir vecu un certain nombre d’annees, on devient vieux parcequ’on a deserte son ideal.
Les annees rident la peau, renoncer a son ideal ride l’ame. Les preoccupations, les doutes, les craintes et les desespoirs sont les ennemis qui lentement nous font pencher vers la terre et devenir poussiere avant la mort.
Jeune est celui qui s’etonne et s’emerveille. Il demande comme l’enfant insatiable : et apres? Il edifie les evenements et trouve de la joie au jeu de la vie.
Vous etes aussi jeune que votre foi, aussi vieux que votre doute, aussi jeune que votre confiance en vous-meme, aussi jeune que votre espoir, aussi vieux que votre abattement.
Vous resterez jeune, tant que vous resterez receptif, receptif a ce qui est beau, bon et grand; receptif aux messages de la nature, de l’homme et de l’infini.
Si, un jour votre coeur allait etre mordu par le pessisme et ronge par le cynisme, puisse Dieu avoir pitie de votre ame de vieillard.”
General Mac Arthur -another warrior -
“Et apres?”… Je continue de chercher. J’ai besoin d’aide.
J’ai des pistes sont-elles les bonnes ?- le cancer (du sein) pour mon cas et la depression -
Je reviens souvent sur ce sujet. J’aime ce que le Docteur Servan Schreiber dit parce que tout simplement ca a du sens.
Pourquoi ne pas utiliser les methodes naturelles avant d’utiliser des medicaments qui coutent beaucoup et qui fixent une chose et detraquent autre chose?
C’est une des raisons pour laquelle je crois qu’il faut supporter le Docteur Servan Schreiber dans cette recherche importante.
J’ai lu son livre Guerir lorsque j’etais en France il y a quelques annees et il parlait deja du benefice des Omega 3.
Je ne comprends toujours pas pourquoi on ne peut pas acheter des Omega 3 en grande quantite en France?. En Australie, je peux acheter une boite de 400 Omega 3 pour environ $20 dollars (10 Euros), en France je crois une boite de 60 Omega 3 pour plus de 20 Euros.
J’ai besoin d’un allie.
Je veux faire quelque chose pour le cancer et la depression. J’etais incapable de faire quelque chose jusqu’a present – il fallait que je m’occupe de moi –
Je vais repartir bientot et voudrez savoir si je peux discuter ce sujet avec vous Paulo.Merci.
Love
Marie-Christine
Alexandra,
You are always welcome, thanks too !, appreciated ! :)
God blesses you !
and
God bless you all !
Hi Paulo,
I am a very happy reader of your news letter ” Warrior of the light”.
Your words have always given me hope and strength.
I have to appologise for writing about the matter that is not related to the blog but I don’t know where to write so I took this space for my opinion.
In the latest issue of “Warrior of the light”, you mentioned that Echinacea is not scientifically proven that it is effective. In fact, it has been proven scientifically that it works! Please have a look at the company A.Vogel (Bioforce)’s website (http://www.avogel.co.uk/echinaforce/Home.php) as one of the referrences.
I don’t work for them but I work in the area of alternative health.
I just wanted to let you know…
Having said that, regardless if it’s proven or not, as long as you believe it works, it alsways works. That how I feel.
I’m looking forward to reading more news letters.
Thanks for your wonderful works.
Mayumi
Santhos, you are full of inspiration. Thanks for the poem, was good.
Love,
Alexandra
I feel like I made a mistake telling a specific someone about the private lives of my friends. Certainly it is not how I behave regularly, I rarely ever talk. But with this specific person, I had an urge, which I am not so sure anymore what that urge was.
Well, I want to and will apologize to this specific person because I am sure it must not have been so pleasant to hear me complain over and over again. I guess I found a solace in him. Because the times which i complained, were times where I was overwhelmed with all that was going on in my life and had no other solution to my problems. And whatever I wrote him, is not even close to what I actually went through.
I was helpless. Maybe I was reaching out. And though I know it was wrong of me to do that, that’s what I chose to do, because i felt that no one cares! And I’ve been so empty without love in my life.
I hope he will forgive me.
I used to be a germaphobic, it happened after i studied microbiology in college. And for a couple of years while i was germaphobic, it wore away at me, it was awful, until one day i decided to put a stop to it.
I also had a case of slight agoraphobia… and I used to be very uncomfortable around people, did not like to be around people at all.
And still today, i get claustrophobic in a crowd. I don’t like too many people around me in a crowd. It drives me crazy.
There was a time when I didn’t like people, didn’t like to be around them. Now I don’t mind so much. But very few people can hold my interest for long. At least the ones that I’ve met.
i m not as experienced as some of the other people above….the most embarassing and the most uncomfortable situation for me has always been when i lose interest in a friend or a girl friend….i always begin a relationship like a fairy tale, present my heart..expressing my deepest feelings….but as the pages of calender change ,my feelings also change….i dont know what it is . expectations of the other person ? the fact that the other person is no more mystery to me ? in the begining i want to be wanted by the other person and later the same very achievement burdens me….i know its natural to act like this but the fact that i always end up committing more than i actually am is most shameful for me….when i was 18 yrs old i met a girl to whom i proposed and claimed that she was my soulmate{and i actually felt that then } and then i dumped her 6 months later….i m still weighed down by this……
Eu sei que eu tenho histórias…mas eu só as vejos como penosas, ou com peso de arrependimento se for para mostrar na visão que as pessoas gostaríam de ver, ou que talvez seja bom ser colocado para ajuda-las refletir de outra maneira, mas EU mesma não as percebo assim… acho que entendeu rs
Hi everybody,
Thank you all for the comments, they helped me so much.
In all your comments it’s” me, I and myself”.
I have already confess to Padre, my other half, my children and yes I am guilty of the most heinous things. Yes, I have lied , cheated, been frightened, jealous, acting like a cyclone, been very judgmental of people, said white when you said black, had numerous tantrums, stamped my feet, packed and unpacked my suitcase over and over, scattered all my clothes accross the room , eaten some jam out of the jar – a hangover from time spent at boaarding school with the nuns – have fallen in love with the local priest at vespers – that’s why I joined the choir – got caught in the middle of a thunderstorm in the Pyrenees mountains – It’s pretty scary, especially when you have to go down the mountain and you are frighten of heights…Boom, ba da boom.
I have stolen some bottles of “Cacolac”from the Brasserie where Dad worked. They were hidden in my tracksuit and Inspector Dad was following me ; never realising it looked so obvious….the wobbling duck walk I think was the culprit.
I went onto the computer and started answering questions on a blog. no one knew about it or so I thought.
I might have even said words that were not appropriate and I want to apologize to these people.
I have learned so much out of all these experiences the biggest experience of all being able to say NO,NO,NO.Something I had never been able to do up to this day. You see I was a doormat, always complying to what everybody wanted me to be. Inside I was a “volcano ready to explode”. Really, when I think about it, I am no different to the seasons, I go up and down and I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now. How do I know it? because I can hear my clock going “tic tac tic tac” I am in the moment and I feel really good about that.
I thank you Paulo for all that I have learned on that blog. It just proves that even with no formal education you can still understand if you are interested in something you will always find “a way”
“Qui cherche trouve.”
I am forever in debt to you for giving me an appreciation of the arts and the opportunity to learn new languages as well.
You are the best teacher I have ever had and Yes, I do love you unconditionally and I am proud of that.
Love to all, follow your dreams like I continue to follow mine.
Keep your sense of humour and everything in perspective.
“U eu tiro o meu chapu”
“Missao cumprida”
Beijos
Marie-Christine
I am 34 and have two daughters who I love more than life. I used to believe that fate led you to where you needed to be, but now I am not so sure. I hide the fact that I led a bad life from my friends and especially my 8 year old daughter, my biggest fear is that she would become like me as an adult. I was an exceptionally smart child, with huge potential, but my pain due to rejection turned to selfishness, and I became obsessed with “making people want me” Men mostly. Nothing would stop me from getting the man that I wanted, even his partner etcetc..People did not like me, men were afraid of me and women didn’t trust me. Now in my heart I am not a bad person, but I needed that acknowledgement so badly, it ruled my life like heroin.
My friends today see me as bland, somewhat intense and even a bit of a square, but they hardly know me, even the ones I’ve been friends with for years I hide the truth from them too. I look at the birth of my first daughter as a sort of saving grace, a baptism if you like at the start of my new life. Life is so full of myriads of lessons, woven into our everyday lives, and if you are aware enough you can learn from them. My guilt and shame when I had my daughter were so all encompassing that I could hardly bear the weight of them when compared with her innocence and fragility. Her father (a doctor) constantly reminded me that I came from nothing, I was nothing, I was uneducated, poor, promiscuous, and that I had doomed his daughter to suffer the same fate. He wasn’t the only person to tell me that either. I cried everyday for years because I felt so unworthy, and because someone like me had created a life. I managed to drag myself out of self-pity and work hard enought to provide myself and my daughter with our own home, something I am so proud of to this day. When I met my current partner I outlined how important truth and honesty were to me, and that any man coming into my life would need to be prepared to act as a father to my child. We were a good match from the start, even purchasing a home together two years later, which is when I found out about his lies. The german woman he was in love with when I met him. My nephew was died of cancer, and just days after his funeral my partner asked her to start a new life with him, and that he would leave me if she would. She obviously said no, so he kept it a secret and stayed with me instead. To say I lost all faith in fate, trust, love and truth is an understatement when I discovered this nearly two years later. I can never feel the same for him again, but I could not take him away from my daughter either. I no longer trust anything he says or does. I cannot see the reason for this happening to me, why when I had tried so hard to be a good person again, and to do the best for my daughter, has someone betrayed me so badly? To this day it feels like sentence I cannot escape from, and although I love and enjoy my children immensely, I no longer feel happy about life. I feel as though I am cursed if I tell the truth.
As my older daughter approaches 8 years old, I now believe that I will one day tell her the truth, at the risk of losing her respect. But maybe it is worth it if I can prevent her from travelling the same path, or feeling the same pain. I guess I am hiding from my partner, more than my children if I am honest.
Ai, ai… final de semana e não tem mais como protelar… então lá vão alguns itens da minha lista de: culpas, embaraços, vergonhas, delitos…
- Já bebi até vomitar: horrível;
- Já falei que ia para a escola e fui farrear;
- Já falei que ia dançar e fui namorar;
- Já amei dois homens ao mesmo tempo;
- Já traí uma amiga;
- Já me vinguei de pessoas;
…
Quer saber? Minha vida tá muito certinha… meus delitos muito leves… entrei num processo de perdão, aceitação… posso ir além… AMO VC PAULO… por tudo o que provoca em mim…
Beijos
Dear Maria
I read your words and immediately wondered if you had read ‘Brida’. It is the most amazing book and I think you would LOVE to read it. In the book Paulo Coelho writes about the ‘soulmate’ in a way I have never read before. If you haven’t already read it I recommend it to you.
Love
Alex
When I’m in a temporary down, because life or better myself doesn’t bring me to a goal i chose or give me the attention i want to have, summarized when i feel misunderstood and unfair treated, i usually think in my dramatically character that i will go to kill myself. In this 2 seconds my first thought is, that it’s impossible, because all of diaries are under my bed and my parents, my friends and my sister will find them immediately. Of course it’s the run of events that my closest persons will disclose some of my secrets after my death and for sure there are some witty anecdotes, i would be embarassed to narrate. But the important thong is in my opinion that there are emotions and alegations i’ve written down just to release me from pain and rage. Things that are better to write down in a moment than to accuse it to somebody. But if someone would read it it would trigger pain i never wanted to. So i think it’ a good thing to burn some written text that are never said…
Paulo, amigo querido!
Tantas opiniões interessantes…o que eu poderia mais acrescentar? Tudo está “gravado no akasha”, nas mãos de Deus.
Um ótimo final de semana pra você e sua família!!!
Bjssss
I have a few things I am ashamed of. But, the latest is being pregnant by a man I barely know. Now, I realize that both of us made a mistake and I need to move on (with a new baby).
Dear all,
*****************************************************
Shameful act
*****************************************************
What is Shame? A flash back of memory.
A long standing desire of humans in need and deed,
Born naked, will go naked,
Is it shame in civilized society?
Rape, without permission is act of violence,
Sex and physical needs drives most of our emotions
Regret nothing, accept everything
life is beautiful when handle with utmost curiosity and need,
O all sweet humble soul, name me !
one human who has not committed shameful drama in life
Experience of pain or suffering or sadness to chime,
Forceful act or making of love in dreadful times,
Child violence of rape or sex,
women violence of prostitution or,
filling into gap in between legs,
World suffers, humanity suffers
Only those will prosper who will forget, forgive
and blossom despite living in dust or ripe
as fruit in tree of life, forgetting past in supper,
in recollection, in memories, freeing in wind of change
of peace, inner peace, self realization of knowing himself/herself
to cease,
Did I do shameful act? Yes or No
Who did I hurt utmost? Him or Her
I have never tried to hurt an ant,
how can I even hurt human being which chant?
Should I say ‘yes’ or should i protect myself with ‘no’?
words will make life pity,
I am inspired by all your shameful act and story
Thank you friends, but I live with no desire or curiosity,
I am not protecting myself or preaching you my story,
Reasons will be many but life will move on even in painful journey,
I am poor writer from Himalaya trying to learn from great men,
likes of Paulo, Mirza Ghalib, Einstein, Pablo, Shakespeare, Ghandhi and all honest soul likes of you and many,
Let me imagine I am blessed by HIM,
I cannot do anything,
but I will wish you good luck, happiness, satisfaction
love, inner peace and life of self realization
I am god who blesses you and will bless you
till my hands move on keyboard which makes sound of peace….
****************************************************************
God bless you all !
beautifully written
I’m just a man, I’ve done lot of bad things, I did not kill anybody, but I never lived perfectly. If you ask me to confess or relieve the worst I’ve ever done, I would be writing all night. But, I don’t think the issue is about telling grandchildren, the toughest part is to forgive myself. Only when we forgive ourselfs, also God will forgive us and grandchildren (yes, I want some and children first) will not care ;-)
I am ashamed that I am sitting here listening to my mother sing some hymns with my brother in order to help him choose wedding ones for his service. I am dismayed that he does not realise how much my mother wishes he does not marry ‘this’ girl… yet sings now. I ashamed of my brother for bringing shame on her.. not honouring his mother…
but he is engaged to someone who quite easily insults my mother.
I am ashamed that after all my brother and I have been through in our lives… and mostly how much my mother has… that at this stage of life we are creating troubles for each other, when instead peace should be our harmony.
I am angry that he has let my mother down.
Most of all, I am ashamed that I am standing here writing when i should have ‘ideally’ been sitting joining in the choices…. another loss of bonds, ties, relationship potential. Yet I find it hard to enter this room because, because I know and would see the pain of my mother and the arrogance of my brother. Overall, thus… I am sad about all this shame…
there is no honour here in the beginning and so pretending there is honour now is difficult.. i am ashamed that this is where my family has ended right now.
Thanks for listening ;o)
May I say,this is a great idea anonymous.
Hi Paulo,
Shame is a big word covering many concepts, and multitudinous deeds, like guilt. I may say, for example, I’m ashamed of having been promiscuous with men at one point my life, but then in answer to whom? Certainly not God. Certainly not what other people take as a usually male-construed measure of “appropriate” conduct in the life of a single woman. I feel I am accountable to myself (or higher “self”) so rather than feel ashamed, I take each episode where I might have lowered my standards, or was not true to my inner light (integrity) as a point to learn about my, and society’s, deep seated attitudes to sex, relationships, femininity and sexuality. Shame, per se, unless it’s very presence suggests enough discomfort to start a liberating inner dialogue, and therefore self-improvement, to keep hanging over one’s head indefinitely IS damaging. It is the dragging of what Krisnamurti called a “dead thing” into the perpetual present…where it has no place. Set it free I say!
Dear/est Paul, welcome back!!
As our Paulo Coelho says: Now it is your turn, ‘you take the floor’ and .. make your confessions!! ;]
LOVE,
Thelma.
Hi Aditya, nice words above, thank you.
You did not mention where you live. As you know Cyprus is the … centre of the Earth!![I am joking]. Well Delphi in Greece was supposed to be the Navel of the Universe. Apollo’s temple..
I will be happy to meet you, but there is no teacher…. in me!!
Socrates the philosopher, who was the wisest man of his era according to a Delphi’s oracle, used to say:
“I know one thing, that I know nothing” = ¨Εν οίδα οτι ουδέν οίδα.
LOVE,
Thelma.
my shameful acts have molded me to what i am today. and yes, i am still embarrassed and afraid to share them, but i am trying to resolve that piece by piece. i confess to people i trust and love- my sister, a few friends and my boyfriend. through this, i free myself from the burdens it gave my soul.
I wanna have this book but it isn’t in spanish and i don’t know speak o read english very well
i’m venezuelan and here there is not a rumor or something about the book, I didn’t know he had a new book! I would love to read the book, but apparently i have to wait some time
妈妈说，做过的事就不要后悔。。其实让我内疚后悔的事很多，不过那些都过去了，难道不是么~
开心一点吧~~呵呵~o(∩_∩)o…
There are decisions that one takes in accordance with the situation, their maturity, their cultural background ecc. We always have more than two choices to make in a given situation. The fact that we choose one thing or another depends on the above mentioned elements. That is why, on one hand I do not believe in the existence of ‘shameful acts’ interpreted as ‘mistakes’.
Yet, I do believe in feeling shame. I do not think there are persons who have never felt shame for something in their lives. We all grow up having had inculcated in our minds and souls what it is right or wrong, what you should do and what you should not do. From this point of view it is inherent that feelings of shame appear during our lives. I think that what is important is that this shame does not paralyze us, makes us inert. It should be the resort, the impulse that makes us keep on walking and evolving.
Most of the times, as I could notice so far, people are not ashamed mostly for their actions but for the emotions stirred in them by the performance of such actions.
This is my case too. I am a rather quiet type and that is why I do not have too many ‘sins’. I am a little bit manipulative with people and situations, I tend to lie by ommission when the situation requires it…I have never performed actions considered as ‘outrageous’ by the moral etiquette because as I said I am a quiet type, passive – with a rich inner life but no tendency whatsoever of harming myself or the others. I am on a constant quest for peace…
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