Martin Braddock didn’t hear the tornado coming, because even that unmistakable freight-train roar is swallowed up in the midst of a hurricane, but he knew what it was the instant the front wall of his ranch-house suddenly lifted apart and began swirling about like so many match sticks tossed into a blender. That was when Martin, who had been standing in the middle of the room, dove under the great oak table.
Instantly, everything went black; the sensation was like a dive down a rabbit hole that seemed to have no bottom and no sides, a plunge that punctured the very fabric of time and space. Martin’s last thought was, “The barn’s not finished….” referring to the new cattle barn.
The day before, his daughter had begged him to evacuate. Martin had stood alone on the gravel drive and watched four-year-old Emmy cry, “Grampa, please come with us!” but Martin knew the storm would take its toll and felt it his duty to stay and be ready to rebuild. So Martin was very surprised when he reached the end of his rabbit hole, and the roar of the storm was replaced by a resounding voice.
“Martin,” said the voice, “How much time did you spend with Emmy?”
Martin said, “I built two new barns last year, bailed 150 acres of hay….”
But the voice cut him off.
“How many times did you say, ‘Later, Emmy, Grampa’s busy,’?”
Martin was startled by this inquiry – not the questions he was expecting.
Please send your stories (250 words max.) for selection to paulocoelho.writer@gmail.com.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
you have been a busy bee by the sound of it
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
:)
I was so confused at that title for a second…
My Goodreads name is Busy B. :) So, immediately I was drawn to the post.
But… it was really nice to read. Very true to life.
Savita, your story was simply lovely. I enjoyed reading as i do with your comments, and look forward to your further opinions and stories. Well done.
Lots of love.
Yajna
Congratulations, Savita!
What can I say?You are a GREAT LIFE NARATOR!!!Just that He played with his daughter and his sun,1 hour per day,in the evening;-the most painnigful thing for his whife and children,was that after he crossed the street by going to his office,he forgott all three entierly,and ALL three have FELT THAT!CRISTALL CHILDREN ARE VERY SPECIAL and I know that you UNDERSTAND ME!
Greatings To ALL from HIM!
Love,
Mirela(the woman in love)
Dear Savita Vega, loved the story. Loved the connection between nature and death and what a surprise the questions at the end were. Thanks for sharing the story, and I’m looking forward to what you create next…
Nanci :-)
Dear Savita,
Good story. Congratulations and well done ! :)
God blesses you !
and
God bless you all !
Savita, I enjoyed your short story. There was only one character but he was connected to so much, example nature, farm, granddaughter, Spirit.
For some reason the part that grab me the most was the description of the character diving “under the great oak table.” I felt it.
I like the story Savita…
an unexpected and surprise passage indeed.
almost a perfect story for an enchanting children’s book..?
Young children often deal much better with topics of such fortitude than adults sometimes ;o)
and almost, well, along the lines of a harry potter/sci-fi?!!
Nice one.Savita.
Sorry for the misspell.. You got it. I meant ‘story’. T.xx
Thank you, dearest Savita, for the beautiful sorry and the … message in it. How much time do we spend with our loved ones?? Do they know that we love them?
LOVE,
Thelma.
My dear writer and mother Savita,
Great story, saying it all about you. You care so much about your daughter, and like so many mothers, are upset when men fail the contract they took on getting a daughter or granddaughter, or a son or grandson. Your story reminds me of Cats in the Cradle. Thank you Savita and good luck with your new life, both of you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH46SmVv8SU&feature=related
Love,
Heart
Interesting story Savita. Hope all’s well with you!!
love,
C.
Xcellent! It made my heart leap. Thanx for sharing …
:)
The B ranch and its ramifications.
Well done Savita and thank you. I enjoyed your story
Love
Marie-Christine
Dear Savita, I was waiting your story. Just arrived, as some real coincidence. I wanted to read some nice lines, because I dont want to say something harsh to you. But it was not need, the story is perfect, my dear. I only was worrying about the lenght, knowing that you write long texts. But you did it, you wrote an interesting, provoking and intelligible short story. You result is even better than I expected. All my respects to you.
Love
Alexandra
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