Comments on: Your Story in my Blog : Chrome Rain by Ivor W. Hartmann

By: Ivor W. Hartmann

Ivor W. Hartmann — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 22:58:23 +0000

Thank you one and all, who read my extract, and those who took the time to comment. For me it was all about a moment of parting (perhaps for life), from those you love and have lived life with, always hard no matter the circumstance. In Mry-An’s case with anger and defiance, but also for both, sorrow, deep emotional pain, and frustration. I also called on that trick of the mind that occurs when one is in a deeply emotional state, and your environmental surroundings seem to emulate that state of mind.

There is much more to Mry-An’s story, and I have started releasing the whole story bit by bit at my Facebook Page, If you would like to read more and follow the Chrome Rain story: (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ivor-W-Hartmann/53179591392)

Thank You Again Mr. Coelho for this wonderful opportunity. You are forever welcome in my Virtual and Real home, and the most real in all realities, the Home of the Heart.

By: Adesola Orimalade

Adesola Orimalade — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:46:30 +0000

It is very difficult to tell a good story in 250 words but you can certainly wet the appetite of the reader and leave them with a clear direction where their own imagination can wander.

I quite like the fact that the story focuses heavily on the setting/background and less on dialogue.

A very good one, Ivor…

By: Colin Meier

Colin Meier — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:40:46 +0000

That’s quite evocative, Ivor. You’ve managed to get across a definite sense of atmosphere and character in a very few words. I’ve seen short-short’s called “postcard” stories before (they’d fit on a postcard – if you wrote really small…). Is the excerpt all one piece? I’d be a little bit careful about switching viewpoints (Mry-An, Jabnar, Mry-An) so quickly, but if you’re careful with it, it can work. I’d certainly like to read the rest of it.

By: Masimba Musodza

Masimba Musodza — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 07:04:39 +0000

The short-story is -in my view-the most difficult prose form. A 250 max-long story has to be an even bigger challenge, but I found myself liking this. Another post-apocalyptic setting, Ivor? What better way to explore human nature than to put in an environment that is nothing like what we know today?

By: Thamsanqa Ncube

Thamsanqa Ncube — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 06:51:56 +0000

Great story Ivor! Cannot wait to see what happens next!

By: Dances With Crayons

Dances With Crayons — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 06:20:16 +0000

WOW, perhaps a young person saying goodbye to poverty, hoping for a better life elsewhere. I wonder what her home-life was like. I want to read more, and hope she has faith, and finds what she is looking for! Thank you : )

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:08:01 +0000

Now you said it…I didnt notice, but you are right.

By: THELMA

THELMA — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:25:09 +0000

Beautiful description..
The story brought to my mind Paulo Coelho’s quote: ‘How we move on..’
By ‘bidding farewell’ and starting dreaming again…
Thank you Ivor W. Hartamnn.
LOVE,
Thelma.

By: Carla

Carla — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:58:38 +0000

Very nice story! sort of says that change, transformation, comes from destruction.
xxoo

By: Sylva Nze ifedigbo

Sylva Nze ifedigbo — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:51:31 +0000

This is engaging. So Engaing i cant help but yearn for more. Great work Ivor.

By: Boakyewaa

Boakyewaa — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:40:25 +0000

Very descriptive, Ivor.. I love the language and the color. She sounds strong and still vulnerable. Good job!

By: Heart

Heart — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 19:16:37 +0000

Juicy expressive style Mr Hartmann. Great!

By: Sarudzai Mubvakure

Sarudzai Mubvakure — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:38:59 +0000

Provsion of a beautiful cinematic view of the life of Mry-An, all in just 250 words. It goes to show that great things truly come in small packages. Well done!

By: Emmanuel Sigauke

Emmanuel Sigauke — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:35:56 +0000

Great story, Ivor.

This is such a rich blog, Paulo!

By: Ivor W. Hartmann

Ivor W. Hartmann — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:43:32 +0000

Thank you Mr Coelho! I am so very honoured that you have published my little short here. Love and Light. Ivor.

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:21:59 +0000

Being honest, I love some of the descriptive terms used. Thank you.

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:12:35 +0000

Parting is always dying a little. But this is a part of our life. My brother will move soon abroad. Already another is married in another city, havent seen him long time now.