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Thank you Gayle!
WOW, this is beautiful, everything!! Thank You : )
[Reply]
Dear Agony,
Am happy to see you have come back to read the posts we left here.I remember there was someone else who wrote on the blog some months ago saying she was so ugly etc.
It’s not about what we or anyone else thinks is ‘right’. Right and wrong are relative again. Do you have to believe in your ugliness? Is that right? And do you have to allow others to make you feel ugly? It’s a cinch isn’t it when we have what we should be receiving at the ‘right time’ in life, to grow into well-rounded personalities. That doesn’t happen all the time.
Aditya is also right when he says marriage is not for everyone. Some of us are happy being single without apology.
And, no matter what happens in relationships that take off and those that don’t again it’s a personal thing and we simply can’t pass sweeping statements about men or women.
May I say, horrid things don’t only happen to’ugly women.’There are men who also face discrimination you know.
Dearest Paulo’s books are not simply ‘books’, Agony.They are about Life and Living and Loving and so much more.You must start to practise what you believe in. Nobody can do it for you or should for that matter. You always have a choice you know. And we may not get it right first time-but we can keep trying.Just please don’t give up. It’s very brave of you to come out with all what’s been causing you pain.there’s more to be done. One step at a time,dear.Try writing your name as Hope next time instead of Agony :-)
Love and hugs,
Sheela.
[Reply]
Good to read them again and again,thanks.
Much love
(as Paulo says too)
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how to live with everyday emotiomal hurt?
how can you find love if you are not pretty enough?
how can you give your love if you are rejected?
how can you appreciate life if you are constantly despised?
how can you enjoy every moment of your life when are treated according to how you look each day?
please accept my apology for talking about the issue of physical appearance over and over again in all my sharings in any blog…. it is because of the terrible pain and bad treatment i’ve been through because of that…and it makes me feel better when i take about it…sorry again
you talk about love…. but love is not meant to be for everybody…. you will say that love has nothing to do with outer shape…. personality counts more… in reality this is not true…. only real spiritual people can love you for what you are…. but in my world i’ve never found such people…. sorry again
[Reply]
THELMA Reply:
June 21st, 2009 at 9:50 am
Dear Agony, Thank you for opening your heart to us. It is true that beauty is a gift from God that opens many doors.. It is true that people are ‘influenced’ and judge others from the external appearance. When I was a child I used to hear my mother saying that we are as God has created us and that we should never complain and that everyone has gifts and talents that should be cultivated, like the .. diamond.. To let our inner beauty shine..
Fifty years ago there were no means of changing anything on our appearance.. Nowadays the younger generations are all handsome, beautiful, smart, know how to move, dress,wear .. contact-lenses, go to hairdressers, put … eye-shadows, make-up and lip-gloss.. The cosmetic surgery offers so much help that there in almost nothing that you cannot ‘repair’ on a face or body. We can even add a few centimeters height wearing those fashionable platform shoes!! The metamorphosis is taking place in a few days.. You can also change .. gender! ;]
Just sit back take some photos or a video of yourself and ’see’ objectively what YOU do not like and what YOU can do. Usually others see what YOU offer them. To have confidence and a beautiful smile and sparkle in your eyes are what others actually ’see’. They do not see if you have a few kilos more, a few inches less or if you do not wear expensive clothes.. Paulo Coelho has solved the problem of … clothes by wearing always .. ‘black’ and it is .. flattering on anybody!! Simple clothes to make others look into your EYES and HEART. Try it and please tell us if it … works!! Learn also to ..listen to others and see into others’ hearts, because the truth is that everyone cares more about … his ‘loving, egoism’ and his ‘own’ worlds, than others’, because not all the people are … Warriors of the Light!
LOVE,
Thelma.
[Reply]
agony Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 7:22 am
Thank you Thelma very much for your reply… you are completely right…. and i do believe that everyone has something special to give…. and everyone of us is given many chances in its life to achieve great things and being noticed and loved by others…. you know .. i hate complaining… when i was a teenager i used to be more content because i was more spiritual … i focused more on loving people, giving, praying and reading the bible… and believe me i was happy although people used to tell me that i’m not beautiful…. but as i grew up pain started to accumulate and i’ve given up my spiritual life because i thought that it was unfair…. where i live, people close your eyes from seeing the great things that you have inside youself…. they keep saying that any woman should be beatiful inorder to have chances to be married otherwise she will be single the rest of her life. there is a common saying in my country that “an augly woman is not worth a penny” i’ve heard that many many times…it really hurts… augly women grow up thinking that they don’t deserve to live…. once a taxi driver told me that “all augly women should be gathered on streets and hit by cars to death”!!!!!!! since thier existance means destruction…. i’m sorry to say all of that and i think that (may be only in the world i’m living in) it is too hard to lead a joyfull and peacefull life when you are not looking good enough… but as you said nowadays it is not impossible to change the way yo look…
[Reply]
Anna Marie Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 9:32 am
This is just so sad to read agony, like Thelma said, beauty comes from within, do things that make you feel good, pay more attention to yourself, spend time doing things you enjoy, love yourself, and it will do wonders.
Love,
Anna Marie
Dances With Crayons Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 5:19 am
Hello Agony - I understand, and perhaps, this was made for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um9KsrH377A
Sincerely,
Dances With Crayons
[Reply]
Sheela nandini Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 9:04 am
Dear Agony,
Thank you for sharing your pain.Thelma is right when she says you can do everything in your power to feel and enhance your looks. But a good self-esteem is in order. Why do you seek ‘permission’ from the world to feel good? I know it’s not the easiest thing to say considering what you had to go through. Words can kill you know and tear you apart and wound so deeply especially for those with gentle hearts.
I had a complex about being dark(we in India are so obsessed with ‘fairness’ that that is a criteria for marriage. So when it was my turn to be ’seen’ by the prospects(i h-a-t-e-d it all) my color got a name-”no.no she’s not dark, she’s wheatish colored! Wow! That still didn’t make it happen. And it was not for lokks or color alone. They were looking for working women.Money is always the deciding factor here.Just as well,I say.
I have a friend who now lives and works abroad. She has such a lovely complexion,is tall and is really beautiful to look at and is a loving person .Married too but because no one fed her soul when she was growing up, she still carries this terrible ,ugly self-image about herself.So when you hold on to that- seek approval from a world that is in a constant state of flux in terms of scandals, news, fashion, beauty-the definitions keep changing)you are going to lose out on a lot in life. What the world thinks of you really doesn’t matter especially when you have your life to live the way you think best. There will always be someone who will like you for what you are, inside of you.Why not work on that? I keep thinking, if women in India for eg. were to marry men based on looks(most women here don’t have a choice anyways) well then a lot of men would remain single. Seriously.
I personally like and appreciate the shows of Susannah and Trinny, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, The Makeover story. I guess even here you need to get selected but one can always take that step forward to work on what’s missing in our lives, the things we can work on.And take it from there.Take that one small step ahead.You know that quote:Change what you can(and I don’t mean plastic surgery and all of that) accept what you can’t change and seek Grace to know the difference between the two.
Love,
Sheela.
[Reply]
marie-christine Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Dear Sheela,
“If women in India for eg where to marry men based on looks well then a lot of men would remain single?”Really?
I can’t help thinking why is it that women need to be beautiful and it’s okay for men to be, shall we say “average”? It is something I have never understood. It is the inner you that counts not the exterior. If people can’t see it they are the ones that are missing out .
About Shantaram’s book the author is now making a film . That was quite an adventure he had.
I liked “a beautiful boy” by Vikram Seth too. Does he live in India or in England?
LoveXxx
Marie-Christine
[Reply]
aditya Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
ag,
stop enjoying the pain ! stop being obsessed with physical beauty. that lady Oprah , she was not beautiful, that lady Mrs. Obama, she was not beautiful, physical beauty can be enhanced if one wishes, as Thelma has said, enhance it to the extend u can. to tell you it is ultimately more about how u carry yourself than how u look.
abot emotional hurt - lower your expectations.
if u constnatly despised - ignore all teh despisement, redirect it to God, afterall in despising you, your god is being despised, u have not created yourself s/he has.
about finding love - are u willing to love someone who is worse than you, worse in looks, worse in attitude, are u williung to love someone u hate.
meditate, pray and hang on : not everyone gets married in life, not necessarily beautiful or ugly people, who can say married life would not be more hellish than otehrwise. an old saying “count your blessings” even if they are few, will help you suatin and imrove.
about those who bring hell to you -0 know for sure that everyone is paying for their sins and everyone will pay for the sins, that is HIS promise.
love
aditya
[Reply]
agony Reply:
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 am
Thank you all very much for your concern. I think all of what you have said is right. but you know things can’t change easily and wounds can’t be healed quickly…maybe i’m puting a lot of focus on the issue of outer look… that is why i can’t see that life is not that bad and there are a lot of other things to enjoy in my life…. i think i should let go of the past … i should forget… and for the present … i should learn to forgive and execuse others… maybe they don’t know that what they say or the way they look at ugly women really hurts… i should go back to reading the bible, it used to console me a lot… and life will go on…but really i want to convey a message espcially to men “please stop hurting ugly women… because that woman could be your mother, sister, wife or daughter”… thanks again
By the way, I love Paulo Ceolho so much… i’ve read most of his books… and when i’m reading his books, most of my pain is reliefed…
[Reply]
“The Big Wave” and Promethean fire have something in common-they should be fed.
[Reply]
DEAR MARI ANN.
What you have asked is A VERY BRAVE REQUEST AND STATEMENT.
It is the most honest cry any human being can make.
I pray that you WILL FIND LOVE.
The fact that you have made this honest, open and beautiful cry means love is already coming to you.
Listen to your heart Mari Ann.Trust your heart.
Blessings
I understand you because I am looking for the same treasure.
you are not alone.
Karen xxxxxxxxxx
[Reply]
I found the signs that I needed. I didn’t walk the steps to see the view over the town, because my knee has been troublesome a few times. But I am content with the outcome, and I will keep on fighting. I also hope for a period of rest. Hard work and engagement going in different directions is OK, as long as you are not on the path. But as long as you have to see, understand, analyze, come to conclusions and then hopefully do the right things… I’m still here as long as I have enough signs to give me hope.
I’m hoping that St. Olav will bring me the solution in the end of July. I have now touched the stone where he died, and I have experienced the tremendous power it carries. Three days of signs and messages have brought me to the end of the path. So if someone could come forward and talk to me, it would be the best for everybody. This is too hard emotionally - and Paulo: You talk about love. Are you now going to tell me that it is not worth fighting for? Sorry, but I will fight til the end - bitter or sweet!
[Reply]
Dear Gayle,
No words to describe the beauty of what you have done.
I have just seen this, and I am crying.
I have just come to the end of my own journey - my journey of the heart - and your video and the music came to me today as a sort of beautiful gift, a gift from The Universe, for the end of my journey - a 14 years journey at that.
It reminded me about why I took the journey in the first place, because sometimes the tests and trials of the journey make one forget the HEART of one’s motivation.
At that is what it was at the beginning, and now IS at the end.
MY HEART TOLD ME TO TAKE THE JOURNEY.
AND THE LAST QUOTE SAYS EVERYTHING. BECAUSE OUR HEARTS COME FROM THE SOUL OF THE WORLD AND WILL RETRUN THERE.
And the music! It’s triumphant music. It’s music that says: “Yes, I made it. I’M ALIVE.”
Fly with wings of Love Gayle.
You are one of God’s angels.
Karen xxxxxxxx
[Reply]
Gayle, I loved the images-so dreamy and stunning-all of them.
I lent my copy of the Alchemist to a new friend who is facing certain challenges in life.She was reading “Shantaram” when I first met her on Friday 12th June(we were supposed to have met last year about an interview but perhaps the time was not right)
We couldn’t meet the day before she moved to another city but luckily for me her husband came to the store(I am covering that for the mag I write for) and almost forgot about it but remembered it just in time. I am very sure she will find something in there that will ’speak ‘ to her as well.The Alchemist never fails.
Thank you for putting the video together.
Love,
sheela.
[Reply]
Please, help me pray to God that I will find love! I need nothing else. Nothing.
[Reply]
Gayle,I shared this on facebook-
Love,
Breda
[Reply]
Thanks Gayle-the images are beautiful and the quotes : )
Love,
Breda
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I will be where my heart is at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning. What will I find….
[Reply]
Love the music, the beat and tempo, my body just automatically started to move and rock to it, my head bopped and my feet tapped out the beats…. It’s great! And the colors of the images are gorgeous… And the writing?… From…. The Alchemist… Need I say any more?
love
C.
[Reply]
Your video makes me want to pick up the Alchemist and read it again. Thank you Gayle.
[Reply]
Beautiful images you chose, Gail! That magnificent tree. And I especially like the red poppies, probably my favorite flower, probably because I’ve only ever seen them once in my life (they don’t grow here) and I will never forget the sight.
My two favorite quotes:
“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”
“Without love, dreams would have no meaning.”
Thank you for sharing this with us, Gayle, and for reminding us of Paulo’s profound and uplifting words.
[Reply]
Really nice thanks.
[Reply]
Yes it is great and I’m sharing it with on Myspace and facebook.
Thank you Gayle…
xxx
[Reply]
Loved it! Wow! Céline Dion … a girl near my house. I saw her beginnings, was there … a simple person. She comes often to Montreal, gives of her time and always think of coming to help. Many doubted her in Québec, laughed, found her this and that, but she had a dream and achieved many victories … but is it all done? I do not think so. Because yes love is the center of it all. Having achieved a status, a professional goal, fame, does not mean that your soul has learned all and accomplished all. If she is there, she had to be there for something, for her! Where Universe wants us, I believe deep inside that it does not at all compare to the societies that we have and all that composes it. Yes, a dream, a mission, a something is deep inside us, that needs to be heard, achieved, but does not resume itself at a title, a position, achieving financial fame, etc … it resumes in situations, moments, environments, relations that act as powerful meanings to learn by experience a lesson that the soul has to learn, a power that the soul has to acquire, a power of love, a power of changing the energy in action, of getting out of a cycle in which it got caught … And a dream, a mission, has always for me to incorporate me, the other and the Universe well-being, being love for me, the other and the Universe. If I do not have those 3 elements in my choice, in my action, in my desire, etc … well, I do not act and continue to ask, search and knock. So, today, I am almost at the completion of the realization of my dream (being created a center, working as a helper for others, creating a Foundation, finding ways and acting to do what I see as my mission, finding ways to find money, etc …) but you know, life has brought me back to a place that needed to be understood and that my soul had to work … being conscious that something was like limiting me in my personal life and there I am putting time there, with courage, with faith that I will understand the messages that my soul needs to understand, because if I do not do this, or pass this, what does it do good to have achieved my goals in the professional domain of my mission if in the personal domain of my mission I do not accomplish that mission. The source for me is there. So, yes, build a dream, like Céline, but once the structure is in place, take place personally in that dream.
[Reply]
I enjoyed this very much.
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.. And it will one day return there…
AMEN.
LOVE,
THELMA.
[Reply]
This is great - thanx 4 sharing!
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