Petrus

I’ve wanted a Petrus in my life for as long as I can remember. Where do we find these people who are not only wise but also selfless enough to spend time with us? Where do we go? Who do we ask? What website do we go to?

I’ve prayed so often for a mentor. I wonder if God doesn’t give me one because he wants to be my guide.
Help me find someone, Lord.

Reply

I love the fact that Petrus is not the stereotypical “wise man” or spiritual guide. He has his vices, like cigarettes, and his faults, like exploding in anger, and then even trying to justify it afterward. He is ultimately very “human” – just like anyone else on the common road. And, like all human beings, he is full of contradictions. He is possessed of great wisdom and patience, love and understanding, and yet, just as he can be an angel, so too can he become a demon at a moments notice. He is both the kind and loving guide, and the heartless taskmaster. As my daughter says, “There is no such thing as ‘good’ people and ‘bad’ people – everyone has both good and bad in them.”

If Petrus had more good in him – if he were “all good” – I don’t think I would like him nearly as much. Perhaps not at all. I have this issue (it is my personal issue, but an issue nonetheless) with what I call “perfect people” – people who strive to be “perfect” (whatever that is), who deem themselves as “perfect” (or at least near perfection), who seek to keep company only with “perfect people,” and who expect others to either be perfect or at least want to be perfect. This perfectionism is sometimes associated with a religion, sometimes with some other system of thought or practice. Regardless of what it is associated with, it drives me crazy.

This is why I like Petrus so much. Often he speaks of the “common road” – the road that is open to all and can be trodden by anyone. He doesn’t claim that you have to be perfect to set out on this road; he doesn’t even suggest that you’ll be perfect by the time you reach the end. His message is just: walk! If I remember correctly, he also cites several passages from the Bible which I love, the passages that illustrate how Jesus himself was a man of the common people. He hung out with sinners – vagabonds and gamblers, prostitutes and drinkers – not with the Pharisees, those who considered themselves perfect and expected everyone else to be.

For this, I adore the character of Petrus: so wise, so overflowing with agape, and yet so human – so very real.

I have always heard that, wherever true wisdom is to be found, you can also expect to find an equal share of brutality – one hand is the hand that caresses, the other is the hand that slaps you across the face when you need it. The two are integral, like black and white, yin and yang, masculine and feminine. if the Master him/herself does not have a nasty side, then there will be someone sitting in the chair next to him/her who will fulfill this role. The one fills you with wisdom and lifts you up; the other beats you over the head and boxes your ears, bringing you to realize your shortcomings and deal with them.

This is a hard concept to swallow, at least it was for me at a certain time in my life. I thought if someone was truly wise (a real Master), they should be all good. But then I started to realize: there is no Devil (at least not as a separate and wholly independent entity) – everything is God, nothing is outside of God. Yin/Yang, Black/White… sometimes even being boxed in the ears is an expression of the highest love, Divine Love, and precisely the thing we need at that moment in time. Every enemy that comes, every challenging or harsh experience, arrives with the blessing and the promise of a lesson we need to learn or a challenge we need to overcome in order to grow and evolve. Inside of the hardest shell to break is the sweetest nut.

In consideration of that, I would not expect Petrus to be anything other than precisely what he is.

Reply