Renouncing a dream
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Não devemos julgar a vida dos outros, porque cada um de nós sabe de sua própria dor e renúncia. Uma coisa é você ACHAR que está no caminho certo, outra é ACHAR que seu caminho é o único!
Paulo Coelho
you’re so right, Savita. You just summed up all my thoughts on the subject.
Dreams are not only for small children who look up into the sky every night to make a wish before they go to bed. I think that working adults can easily forget how to look at life with that creative eye and how to take risks to achieve the life that they are supposed to lead. If renouncing a dream means that you are settling for a life that you will regret down the road, then is not worth it. Pilar shows that to her love….he can have both his dream and his love.
One of the most amazing people that I have met has spent the 90 years of her life living her dream. She has been rewarded handsomely in friends, love and life. She traveled the world performing as a singer, had two great loves, befriended the rich and famous, gave to the poor, founded successful world-wide businesses, and has been knighted by the Queen of England. The most amazing thing about her is that she is still dreaming and that she has encouraged me to live my dreams because there is much to accomplish in this life if you are willing to do it.
As for myself, I think I often tend to renounce my dreams too readily. This, I would say, comes from a sort of religious training, an indoctrination into and acceptance of the idea that whatever is God’s will, it will be done, and whatever is NOT God’s will, it will be blocked on all sides. So, when I set out to attain something or to pursue some aspiration, if all goes well, I continue to strive. But, if suddenly I perceive that the dream is blocked and I cannot see any immediate path to navigate around those obstacles, I say to myself, “Okay, this is not God’s will. It was NOT meant to be,” and, at that point, I abandon the project altogether.
I stress that this is the way that I was “trained,” from a religious perspective – to “adapt and adjust” rather than to struggle and fight, to simply recognize and accept God’s will without pressing too hard against obstacles which appear immovable. Granted, this world-view gives one a great sense of peace, because, at the moment that the dream appears impossible, one simply renounces it altogether. But this, I would say, is the point at which one’s religion ceases to be an open relationship with God, and instead, becomes a sort of drug, an anodyne to counter one’s sense of failure, or a tonic to prevent altogether the very experience of failure. One says: “I didn’t ‘fail.’ It simply wasn’t God’s will that I should do this thing,” and life goes on as though the dream had never been born at all.
But I think that God puts our dreams in us for a reason. They are like seeds and it IS God’s will that they should grow, otherwise, they never would have been planted. Of course, the religious view into which I was indoctrinated counters this argument with the claim that earthly dreams and desires are not of God at all. In fact, one should seek to free oneself of ALL desires, as they are counterproductive to one’s spiritual growth.
It is a mess, this sort of religious view. It wholly disempowers one and renders one incapable of achieving anything that does not come easily or readily, almost automatically. It is a world-view which encourages one to merely ACCEPT WHAT IS, to live at peace with it, never to struggle against it, never to strive to shape one’s life or the world to fit one’s vision of how it SHOULD BE.
It is strange how, once we get these sort of ideas in our heads – ideas planted by religious teachings – it is hard to get rid of them, hard to overcome them and dispense with them. They are like chains which prevent us from reaching our fullest potential. In the beginning, we slip them onto our wrists, willingly, thinking that we are doing ourselves a favor: “Ah, now I shall live at peace with the world as it is. Never again will I have to struggle against it.” But then these chains become bonds that prevent us from reaching beyond certain limits. It is forbidden to dream, forbidden to desire, forbidden to aspire to anything which is not readily accessible and easily achievable.
This is a view that I am still striving to free myself from, even though, on a rational level, I left behind these beliefs long ago. Just as I was “trained” in these religious teachings, I have to “un-train” myself in order to be free.
With Love,
Savita
you have spoken what was in my soul. my dream is unfilled because it was not meant to be. If it was meant to be why all this suffering and why does it take such a long time. If that dream was meant for me it should get attracted to me like a powerful magnet….unseparable.
Es rigurosamente cierto
According to Matthew 7:7,8.. Ask, Seek, Knock
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
and
Matthew 21:21,22 Persevering in Prayer
If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
____________________________________________________________
In summary, I’m sorry to oppose you, but I really don’t believe about never fighting for what we really want. GOD has given each of us the freedom to choose and Our journey’s success has already been written in the book of GOD. He said that whatever we want and we really believe in it, just pray and ask him about it.. remember that even the most silent prayer is heard by GOD.. and he will grant it if it’s really ‘good for us’.. and if not, he’ll give us a more special and better than that… There’s no wrong in pursuing what we really want. GOD just want us to make decisions and he will guide us all the way.. If it’s not meant and we really want it, he’ll give us a moment to experience it and we, on ourselves after experiencing it and we felt bad, asked GOD about its contrary.
I mean, for example, I really want to have that big house. I fervently asked for this and then GOD grant me my wish, let’s say after two years. Then, some robbers broke into my house and left me with nothing (appliances, stuffs, etc.). Then after experiencing so – having that big house, even though it’s not necessary or it’s not good for me – I pleaded GOD to help me and then I’ll just say “I’d rather stay in small place than in a big house again that is very attractive to robbers”.
In that sense, we too accepted the fact that we can not really stay in a big house.. So, we on ourselves, fought our own dream.. But remember that if you believe that you really want something and you can handle all the circumstances, never doubt to ask GOD about it and believe that he would really gave you that.. also, never forget to ask for his guidance about the decisions you made..
fight for what you really want and what you believe is true..^^
Thank You!
always loving you Ms. Savita,
Ms. Shiann
To renounce one’s dream is merely a balance of responsibilities, obligations and some duties to be charged…there is always a reason why sometimes the balance gets so lopsided and leaves us feeling really desperate and frustrated; but it is a test and so long as we have strong convictions of what we must do and this decision is a choice we make, we need to postpone our dreams to a later time to be able to fulfill our current positions and status in life.
There is no need to ‘give up’ on our dreams which is what I understand ‘to renounce’ to mean; just some modifications, adjustments and most importantly an understanding to our plights in life.
Renunciar um sonho,nen Pilar e nen ele renunciaram,na minha opiniâo,o que foi uma surpresa,eu nâo esperava aquele final,porem gostei muito da decisâo do autor,o que mais gosto nos livros do autor sâo os finais,sâo surpreendendtes!!!!!
Is this renouncing a dream a question of choosing love life or career? Not exactly, because the dream of the seminarian seems to have been to enter religious life, which includes to give one self to work for, and to love God, in a very special way. It is no easy task for him to discern his religious vacation. He takes the time needed, together with his superior, and prays intensely to the Virgin. A feeling of sadness when he stayed in the monastery, drove him to contact Pilar. Eventually, she gets an important role in his final decision to leave religious life. The Piedra, to some extent, renounces the authority of the Church, as it present a belief in the female face of God, drawing connection to ancient goddesses outside of the Judea Christian culture, as an alternative belief.
I can identify with all the emotions the Seminarian goes through, giving up his dream of serving God to the fullest, as I in fact have discerned a dream like this myself. Three times I tried to enter convents, and stayed for shorter or longer periods, till I was eventually rejected by the leaders there. It was not that I wanted to follow true love outside religious life. It was them, for some reason or the other, not permitting me to stay in the convents. I’m not sure if it is easier to make his/her own decision as the Seminarian did, or when outside authorities makes a decision for you, but not to be able to follow a dream for me was devastating. I had to accept their decision, and moved on to married life instead. Prayer is an important part of my life, be it living in a religious order or be it married. I could likely have worked at a larger scale, if I was backed by the Church. But prayers and love are not dependable of any promises or commitment we make. God is everywhere and in everything, and just smiles at all your longings and hopes for this or that. Be fully where one is at any given time, and live the dreams unfolding to us no matter what happens. Perhaps a dream is to start or join a community, where male and females could worship together, and the only rule would be; to follow our unruly heart.
There are people who understand the world through sacrifice and renunciation, and give meaning to their lives through them.
As a child, I used to give up the things I liked to help my mother and sister and felt I was being “good”. In fact, I was addicted to praise, and just saw them both as objects of my ” goodness”.
I highly look up to people who are able to surrender and sacrifice without seeing themselves as good.
However ,I think most people have to be true to themselves first so that they can love , help or serve others in return.
The trap of sacrifice and renunciation is a dangerous one and many feel tempted to go through this door because someone said it had to be like that.
The mother has to renounce her dream because she has to be a good example to her children. The father works to keep their family even though he gives up his dreams. The child studies what their father wanted to become an extension of him.
The thing is, all of these ways lead nowhere , but to bitterness. I tried this bitter water myself studying what my father thought was a major that made you proud , admired and gave you money. And it took me a long time to get back to my calling.
So do not renounce your dreams because of others, even if they ,at first, don’t understand that can not manipulate you to the extent of making you to get bitter.
Le passage où l’âme s’exprime par des mots incompréhensibles m’a boulversé, des années plus tard, je me suis surpise à murmurer à mon cheval dans un état de transe d’amour, des mots sans sens pour n’importe qui et qui pour moi étaient totalement compréhensible en traduction non pas linguistique mais sensoriel….Je continue ce monde de communication avec mon cheval, c’est très très spécial.!
I don’t know if the term “renouncing a dream” really portrays what happened in the book. The fact that against Pilar wishes the seminarist decides to “give up” his dream and she later decides to abandon him and goes on and writes the manuscript that is to become known by the world, tells me that God’s had a plan all along. So the seminarist becomes the tool God uses to accomplish that plan. To me nothing moves without the God’s approval. In this case the seminarist would have had suffered tremendously if he had decided to pursue his plan, yet Pilar encounters the gift God’s given her and develops it, and in this way I feel she is able to reach further away than if the seminarist had decided to use his gift. To me the greatest gift he got was the tremendous love he had for Pilar. She, like him, also has a great love but understands the role she has to play and things flow against human wishes but with God’s ones.
Maybe is not even always a true need renouncing to any dreams. Just postpone it, if there are other dreams that comes first. Maybe the right moment is to arrive in a near future. But as we are humans, sure in our moments of weakness we might get desperate .