The seminarist

We each of us define ourselves by our relationships with others, and with the world around us, be it with a lover, a parent, a child, a teacher or a pupil. And at any time we are many things, one man’s teacher may be another’s pupil, just as one woman’s mother can be another woman’s child.
“The Seminarist” is also “The Lover”, but this is where he must choose to be one or the other. In the book of Genesis Abraham was called to give up that which was most precious to him to prove his devotion to the Lord God. He prepared to sacrifice his son Isaac, but at the final moment God spared the life of Isaac, it was enough that Abraham had been prepared to make the commitment to God. “The Seminarist” was prepared to make the commitment to Pilar even if it meant sacrificing a position of pwer and authority, I think because there will always be others who could receive his gifts and carry on that work, but only he could complete Pilar’s life. In giving up his gifts perhaps he will receive them back as being worthy of them, but if he had chosen to prize them and keep them it would have meant Pilar’s life was never fulfilled and his triumphs would have been empty successes. What we keep we lose, but what we give up is given back to us.

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Yes, I know there are female priests/preachers in certain branches of the Christian church. In fact, in the church which I attend (a Full Gospel church) there is a woman preacher. Every Sunday, she preaches for an hour, then a male preacher takes over for the next hour. The two are not a “couple” (they are both married, but not to one another), but neither does there seem to be any conflict between them. I mean, he doesn’t seem to see this as a threat. He actually encourages women to testify and to preach and he often speaks of the need for women to be as active as possible in the church, and not just in subsidiary or “support” roles either. He says that a woman can have a “calling” to preach, and have the God-given “gift” for it, just like a man. The church that he grew up in was headed by several women preachers and, as he describes it, they were they were the foundations of the church, not the men.

This church which I attend also has a sort of “open pulpit” policy. Anyone can preach, at any time, if they feel a calling to do so. All they have to do is stand up, even in the middle of a sermon, and say, “Hey, I’ve got something to say. Can I come up there for a moment?” and the preacher will step aside and let them have the pulpit for as long as they like. Because the view is that the Holy Spirit can speak through anyone and that all are given their individual gifts by the Holy Spirit, there is little distinction between “clergy” and “lay-persons” – all are in it together, and each can learn from the other.

Anyway, it is probably obvious that I am rather fond of this church, in part, precisely because of the role that women play and the balance maintained between male and female energy. And the funny thing is that this isn’t a “liberal” church in any sense – their values, otherwise, are very traditional and are actually seen by many as far too strict. The Full Gospel church is an off-shoot of Pentecostalism (you know – the church wherein women are forbidden to cut their hair and must wear dresses only, with skirts down to their ankles.) Sometimes I wonder how the one ever evolved from the other – a church where women are truly viewed as equals coming from out of a church wherein women seem horribly oppressed. Anyway, such as it is.

As for the divorce thing. Well, I suppose that is an issue of modern times, which one must grapple with whether lay-person or clergy. I also suspect, as you suggest, Heart, that maintaining a healthy marriage while in pursuit of a demanding career is just plain difficult – for anyone.

It is funny that you mention this because it is a question that I have pondered often as an aspiring writer, particularly a woman writer. Nor am I the only one. When I was in grad school, and even among my ex-classmates now, this is a hot topic of heated debate. Can a woman (particularly a woman) be a successful writer AND have a husband and family? Statistically, the odds are not in our favor. Statistics speak of a much higher success rate among female writers who forego marriage and motherhood. This has not been the case, historically speaking, for men, as, in regards to male writers, there is this phenomenon termed as “marrying the muse.” There have been many very well known male writers of the past who married the women who encouraged, inspired or in some way stood to advance their careers. It is amazing, for example, if you look at the statistics, how many famous male writers of the past just happened to be married to women who were fantastic typists (women who, ultimately, typed their manuscripts, in a time when this was quite a laborious undertaking) or to women whose fathers owned publishing houses, etc. So what does this say to us as woman today? Some claim that the message is clear – if you want to be a writer, a successful writer, stay away from men, and certainly never marry one. Others claim it means that you have to find someone who will actively support you in your writing in some way – someone who will take your aspirations seriously and not just view your writing as a “nice little hobby.”

Being a mother already, I would probably say that, yes, it is far easier to succeed at almost any career if you don’t have children. It is likewise probably easier to fulfill any “mission” – to serve God in any manner – if you don’t have a family at all. The time constraints and social obligations of family life are enormous. But “ease” is not everything. There is also a depth of insight to be gained from marriage and parenthood, from family life in general, and that too can be very valuable. Also, if you are married to someone who shares similar aspirations and/or supports you fully in your mission (such as Pilar in the seminarist’s case), this could actually make the quest easier in a different way, and certainly far more fulfilling. As I imagine it, what could be more fulfilling than sharing your gift with the world, not as a solitary soul apart from the world, but alongside someone whom you genuinely love and admire, someone who understands and supports your mission to fulfill your personal destiny in this life?

And why would being a priest or a preacher be any different? Of course, if they marry they will undergo the same tests – the same trials and tribulations that we all undergo. They will be tempted toward infidelity. They will, at some point, consider or at least wish for divorce. Priests and preachers are just human beings, like the rest of us. They are not perfect. But this, as I see it, is no reason that they should refrain from family life altogether – just because there is a chance that they might “fail” at it. Even if one were to fail, perhaps that would only make them all the more qualified to help and council others. At least they would have some understanding of the subject they were talking about.

Wishing you all the best, Heart!

With Much Love,
Savita

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One of my friend is a successful writer. She is married with children. She writes science fiction books and her books are being translated in several languages. Inspirational.
She lived in the desert which in itself was a bit like “science fiction” – to me anyhow -

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