One week ago I posted a Forum on soulmates and we had over 1.000 comments.
But love has no rules, and sometimes you may fall in love with the same intensity with two different people. Then you are facing something that you didn’t expect and this affects your life. So this week the forum is about the Triangle, falling in love with two people, at the same time with the same intensity. Please share your opinions and experiences here.
Love
Paulo
Hey all,,, i believe in the triangle of love…ive been in love with a guy for 4 years…and he was my first love..but i dunno what happens..when i met the second one i loved him… i was confused…how can i be in the middle of twwo guys ?? it hurts because one of them is the one i loved because he is like me..he loves life…he’s crazy and we were very happy 2gether…. but the second one is the one i always dreamed about long time ago
im so confused
hi everyone. i hope atleast one replies to my subject.
i`m really really hurting now for im goin with two guys. one is the one i loved before, and the other just came smoothly, of course the 3rd party knows i have another, i don`t know if i love him for real. i don`t know whom i`m inlove with. when im with him, i miss the other one and viceversa.
Some time I feel, we can love multiple persons with same intensity. I believe, Love is just another feeling like hate, happiness or anger.
Hello world,
Well, i personally believe you can love 2 people at the same time..but i have a question. Can that love triangle turn into a “square?” And if it can, why do we always seem to feel satisfied when we’re with one of them..but never satisfied if they all aren’t there? Why do we linger on and play with people’s emotions just for our satisfaction?
what about a circle of love? Joining hands.
Paulo – voce blog em Italiano ten allura.
La conselheira (diplomata).
when i met and fell in love with my husband years ago, i felt as if everything had finally fallen into place. talking to him would make my soul bloom … and though it took a long time for us to finally get married, and there were many trials along the way. i never believed that i could ever love anyone as much, and that he was my soul mate and i could never feel complete without him. in him i found my best friend and lover. what else could i possibly hope for.
we have had our ups and downs – life is not always rosy but it has been very good. there have been times when i have even hated him briefly but then there are so many other things to love about him – about our life together.
i never imagined there was a gap left for anyone to fill. it happened quite by chance, and when i was least looking. i got reacquainted with an old friend – someone i never had any romantic feelings for. but once we started talking to each other i felt the same soul-blooming, euphoric feeling i had felt a very long time ago when i met my husband-to-be for the first time. . it bewildered me. and quite suddenly my friend and i were texting , talking – constantly. it was just talking. and we admitted that we loved each other.
in the beginning i was on a high and began to neglect everything around me with the exclusion of my new found relationship with this person… then it began to disturb me. i could not pull myself away from this huge magnet and focus on my life, my children, my jop. my home . . and i felt deep inside that even a betrayal of feelings is a very true betrayal ..
i asked myself then if it is really possible to have two soul mates? and why did i have to come across this soul mate now, when everything in my life is really perfect – when i was not looking, not needing .. it made no sense to me. and he is also in a committed relationship and has three children. why did this have to happen now?
i love them both – though not equally. but i do love them both and while i cannot bear the thought of losing my friend i also realise that i simply cannot envision my life without my husband. and because i love him, i can never hurt him even though he does not know that i am hurting him or betraying him in any way.
so i dropped the contact with my friend some months back. and have not been tempted to get back in touch although it would be so easy. and i want to work, instead, on my rlationship with my husband and uphold the vows i made to him.
i tried to tell myself that i suffered from a mental aberration or some huge hormonal shift and acted crazy for a few months and did this crazy thing. . but i have loved my friend and will always continue to do so. however, thre is no place in my life for triangles and i am not willing to string along two men and hurt them both. it is too much to bear.
My dear God,
You need to get a life. You have too much free time on your hands.
Soul mates? Give me a break. You have a husband and if you take yourself at all seriously, you would recognize it’s for the rest of your life, especially if you have children, or plan to. You must still be very young (and foolish) to think cheating is the answer. New love is giddy: “i have loved my friend and will always continue to…”. What a ditz. What you feel is not love; love is commitment, love is a decision you stick to no matter fucking what. Cheating is the opposite of that regardless of how you “feel”. Eeew! “i am not willing to string along two men”. Your lucky if your husband doesn’t string you up by both of your two-timing necks. I’m going to have to have a serious talk with my wife soon if she goes off into too much of this Paulo Coelho fantasy La La. lol. Peace girl and ditch your affair, be it the last.
THat is very unfair of you Pete.
I never said anywhere up there that I wanted to have an affair or that I had an affair.
I was just TALKING to this person who islocated at a very great distance away from me.
and u seem to have missed the fact that it made me unhappy to have such feelings for someone and that I didn’t want to have such feelings in the first place – nor was I actually looking develop a relationship with someone outseid of my marriage. I did say that the betrayal of a feeling is also a betrayal – so I snapped out of it and stopped contact with this person several months ago.
I was just trying to talk about my feelings here hoping someone else would understand.
I’m in a somewhat similar type of position. I mean, I’m not married – he is. And I could never really do anything that would compromise his marriage – since I could never bear hurting him or seeing him in pain. It’s hard because I love him SO much. More than I really understood or knew. He IS my soulmate – that is so easy to see. And I’ve sort of realized too that there shouldn’t be anything wrong with loving someone so deeply – even if one of you, or both, are married to different people. That is simply some view society has placed on us – that we technically shouldn’t really love someone who is married.
But love is what it is. You can’t deny it, it’s just pure. Love is joy – happiness. And anyway, who said love has to end with some kind of romantic affair? Love is all kinds of things – most of all friendship (and to be honest- to everyone including yourself). And in our lifetime I do believe we’ll get to encounter many types of love, all which will teach us a little more about ourselves. I say it’s best to continue being friends – because if you break it off entirely is something I could never do.. Something so beautiful as that – as love – should never really be broken. (Why would you want to? It would tear you apart I think.) It’s not meant to be that way.
Of course, I am working up the courage – the opportunity – to do just that. But I will because I see no other way. It’s just something I know I have to do.
Good luck :)
It does tear you apart but then after all it is also the right thing to do.
In the larger scheme of things, it mattered more how it wold have influenced ourmarriages or our feelings for our spouses in the long run.
You can’t really control a feeling from developing for someone. To cut him off broke my heart but also made me value what I already have. Does that make any sense?
Yes, it does make sense. But its harder when the first thing that starts your day is thoughts of him. Or when you start seeing him in everything, and almost everyone, or any possible relationship with someone else. I guess for me, only time will tell… But I am willing to wait.
I do believe that every encounter we share – perhaps more so those that are so deeply connected to us (our soulmates) – we learn something from it. In my case I truly believe/know that I learned the most important lesson of all. And for that perhaps I love him more – and will cherish that moment – and all moments – and him, forever.
I guess for you it made you grow closer to your spouse… something that indeed may be true in his case as well.
Dear Hedda!
I absoluty can undersand you. My story is similar to yours. I got married at the age of 18 and it was pure love. At the age of 29 (in 2008) I met him, he also has a family. I felt inlove with the same intensity as I did more than 10 years ago. I didn’t want to cheat to my husband and I confessed him that I felt inlove with another man. We didn’t divorsed, we still are together.
My heart now is broken. I kept in secret this relation with my second soulmate, he lives in another country and the last year we could meet for 2 times. I know him for more than one year, we had spent 5 nights together, the last time I saw him was in Nov/09.
Tomorrow his wife will be operated, the doctors found a tumor and it is malignam. I wish they will follow together even it is hard to accept that we don’t have future together and that I won’t see him back.
Hedda it must have been very difficult for you to have to make that decision. I can tell that you really love for you sacrificed your excitement in the name of love….
with deep respect
Monica
Dear Monica,
Thank you so much for your very kind words. I came back to this page after a very long time so have just now seen them & hope that you’ll be reading this comment.
Thank you for your understanding. Yes, it was heart-wrenching and still is. But I know deep inside that I did the right thing by pulling away.
I wish I could send you an email of thanks but it’s not possible through this forum. If you ever read these comments, please feel free to email me at gheddag at gmail.
It’s easier to judge that to try to understand the other person, as the second option requires love, compasion, sacrifice, humbleness, and all of these require a big efford from the spirit. May you, dear Pete, find all these in the future so you can understand the beauty in them all.
Love
Monica
i wrote this poem right after we broke up … [ im fifteen and a fan of yours , Mr. Coelho . ]
THE TRIANGLE
same as how every love story begins
when both already know what real love means
before, the world made sense even without love’s presence
but now they needed each other to see the brilliance of things
in just one blink, a promise is done
that whatever happens, they’d stick to one
everyone knows about trust and loyalty
but somehow, the girl cannot endure the jealousy
she’s assured that he really loves her
so if the guy falls for someone, she acts as if she isn’t bothered
for he always tells her that his ‘crush’ is just folly
and yes she believes him, even if its already major stupidity
for her, connivance is a virtue
but she doesn’t know until when she’d keep her sorrow
he loves her so, through and through
and all this time he loves the other girl too
soul-searching she did, and she got the answer
it’s sealed, it’s final, and it can’t be tampered
she’d set him free, and yes she did
he’s trying to win her back but he didn’t
he explained everything about his flaw
but she didn’t know what to believe and show
she’s losing her grip and she can’t hold on anymore
he can’t please her and put things in order like before
after all, she managed to learn something:
it’s better to work on your problems than to end up complaining
yes, everyone deserves another chance but nobody should waste the first one
for the ice will be melted and the damage will be done
she won’t cry because it’s over, she’d be grateful it happened
for she caught herself somehow, and it’s not yet the end
it’s true that jealousy is really hard to handle
and that many relationships were broken just because of a triangle .
Hi, emotions are always very complex more so love. I have been married for 20 years and love my wife dearly, it is true to say that lifes day to day issues consumes your every thought. I miss the passion and early days when you fall in love, nothing matters everything is beautiful, you are at one with your inner self, complete. If someone new crosses your heart or path the comlexity of your emotions lust, desire, passion how would you know that you could love 2 people equally. I have 2 children who I love equally but that is a different love, it’s hard to explain. What if someone came before you how would you know that perhaps all events in your life up until that moment led you to this point. Would fear of losing the “possession” of your loved one cloud your destiny and deny you your chance of finding your soulmate? What if you could not love 2 people equally? Would this mean that it was your destiny to move on. What is the lesson, is there a lesson or is it our greed for more and because of dissatisfaction? I’m searching for answers but find it difficult to hear my inner voice. There are always lessons to be learn’t but at what cost? OBS Paulo your books are very inspiring and bring into question the paths we are walking, thank you.
what an interesting read ! all of you !!
I dont normally do much browsing and tonite just happen to google paulo coelho .. read alchemist, the zahir and a couple more of his books some months back and wow ! what an eye opener and thought provoking ..
with a full time day job and 6 kids at home , i dont get much time to organize my thoughts let alone think !
Reading allows me some escapism…
on the subject of soulmate, am still wondering if my other half is my soulmate..some moments I hate him to death and others, I could not imagine life without him and prays for him to come home safely.
A chance encounter once with someone who I relate to very well, I feel he understands me but I wonder if it was because of my own perception and what I want to believe.
I think mundane problems we encounter in life..money, kids, not enough time ..clouds the sparkle of love we all encounter when we weren’t actually living together and therefore not yet facing day to day challenges of life.
My husband is pro-polygamy and he once told me if he does remarry it will not mean he loves me less, but that he also loves the other person as much.. advocates the love triangle- possible to love two people at the same time..
Ironically, I did believe we can love more than one person at a time..just like having a second child did not make me love my first lesser, I just have more love to give to all…but it must be the want of having been in sole possession of something ( definitely basic human trait ) that makes this concept so difficult to accept.
Still, with the same intensity ..maybe unlikely.. because as humans, we tend to love when we feel loved ,when the act relates to our love language and we feel valued, the intensity increases.And I dont think any two person will be behaving exactly the same to us…
Have not read Brida yet, but i think I’ll pick that up next time I’m at the bookshop.
Thanks Paulo, for broadening my horizons…
G
claro que es posible querido pablo, yo estoy casada y amo a mi marido, pero aun no olvido que hay un hombre que me espera del otro lado del mar, no se me olvida sonrisa y cada vez que lo recuerdo mi corazon da un vuelco de alegria, se que el tiempo de estar juntos esta por venir y solo me queda esperar por el…
en cambio, a mi esposo lo amo, no puedo dejar de mirarlo, no le puedo quitar las manos de encima, y cuando no pienso en mi otro amor (que es casi la mitad de mi tiempo) estoy pensando en el (la otra mitad de mi tiempo), mi marido dice que siente que nuestro tiempo esta contado y medido por esa razon aprovecho cada segundo (o ceo que el que se aprovecha es el)
de todos modos, los amo a los dos, a uno con la fueza de mi alma, y al otro con la fuerza de mi corazon, que puedo hacer
I think it is possible to love more than one person, for sure – in fact, in my experience when you are really in love with a soulmate it enables you to love everyone and everything that bit more, it makes you feel closer to God, like you are in Heaven and on Earth at the same time. On the other, hand, though, I agree with what someone said here about the heart truly beating for just one other person, and how it always knows. You can’t ever hide the secrets of your heart from God.
I have experienced a love triangle and it did tear me apart. All the same, I would never change it for the world because meeting him – my soulmate – was one of the most defining moments of my life, even if we cannot be together. I am just glad that we found and recognised each other. I never expected to meet someone who had such a profound effect on me, it was like lightening striking.
I wonder, why did Brida not choose her soulmate but stuck with her boyfriend?
Por esses dias eu estava procurando um poema de Maiakovski para colocar no tema/Forum de poesias preferidas e reli algumas histórias da vida desse poeta.
” Por volta de 1915 Maiakovski conheceu Lili Brik esposa de Ossip Brik. O casal Brik era um dos centros do movimento artístico russo, participando intensamente da vida boêmia dos poetas e artistas da época, interessados em qualquer tipo de pesquisa artística vanguardista. Brik se torna o grande amigo de Maiakovski, ficando responsável pela edição de muitos de seus trabalhos. Mais tarde crítico e cenarista torna-se um dos teóricos da revista LEF, dirigida por Maiakovski a partir de 1923.
Maiakovisk apaixona-se por Lila Brik. Um amor imenso, violento, desesperado, trágico; fonte de alegria e sofrimento. Fundamental em sua obra. Ela será para sempre a musa do poeta. Forma-se um estranho trio.Os três estão ligados por um amor sincero e por uma amizade profunda, familiar, fraternal. Estão sempre juntos. Maiakovisk escreve para Lila os mais apaixonados poemas de amor. Cita o nome dela, não só nas dedicatórias, mas também nos versos. A relação íntima permanece até por volta de 1925. É o ponto impulsionador de algumas de suas obras mais expressivas, mais intensas, de alguns de seus mais sinceros e criadores momentos poéticos, de algumas de suas confissões mais delirantes.
O amor é tema essencial na obra de Maikovsk. Tão intenso como o tema da revolução.
Os três assumem o amor , porque um não pode viver sem o outro.
Para Maiakovisk o amor é fonte de poesia e vida. E amor para ele é sobretudo Lili. Ela era bailarina e artista Plástica, como o marido também ligado na área de teatro , cenários e outras artes. Lili não podia viver sem os dois, porque amava os dois intensamente e assumidamente e Ossip Brik não podia viver sem ela e nem sem a amizade de Maiakovisk.
Que trio em? para aquela época imagina o que eles não eram comentados. Mas felizmente viveram !.
Grande beijo,
Mari.
Dearest Paulo,
I have been living with such duality for 5 years now. I met my soul mate 14 years ago, he had just been diagnosed with cancer and told he has a few months to live, when I met him everyone including him was saying goodbyes. I fell in love with him and believed it is not time for him to go anywhere I needed to have him in my life. I made a pact with universe, asking for his life and quality of life for him. I also promised my own life in return, I agreed to give up everything, in order to have him. I could feel into him and I kept feeling as if I was being guided through this journey with him. I knew things without knowing why, I knew how to be and do things which just where making a difference and getting us through. Gradually I lived into that promise, the first two years of our lives together was just struggling for his life, then we had a breakthrough, he went into remission and we started to build a life together. For 9 years, it was only him and I and our love, he was my soul mate and I did not know anything else. His cancer became active after the two years remission, we were in and out of the hospital again. Gradually there was not much left of me, he had his life, his friends and activities and I kept pulling him and our life through the cancer journey. Many up and downs, he was not nice to me, I became very resentful and attempted to leave, however each time I would get in touch with my love for him and my commitment to his life, and the thought of how could I, he is sick?? I am his source of energy, he is my soul mate, ….. I would stay. Then one day his best friend who was also my friend and had been supporting us with his friendship, hugged me in a way which he had never done before, there was such love and desperation in that hug, my body started shaking and fear took over me, I literally freaked out. I ran away from his arms, something very deep inside of me had been touched. It took me days to process and my anguish started, I was in love with his friend as well. At first I wanted to just leave everything behind and get away with this new love I had found, however I could not talk myself into doing so. Also, this friend had his conflicts and a tremendous struggle started. I kept the whole thing enclosed inside of me for one year, angry, resentful, in doubt and hurt. I had broken my friendship off with this friend for this one year, however he would be in touch with my husband and act as if there had nothing happened. We did not talk nor see each other in that year, I went to a seminar to sort out this whole thing, to find answers, then I came to the conclusion that I will just shut out this person and start a new chapter with my husband. I told my husband about this, and he broke all ties with his friend. I kept struggling trying to forget basically trying to kill him off in my mind and heart. I would lay next to my husband in the dark and cry silently not understanding how I could love two people like this. I made contact one year ago after seeing this friend at an event, he was very receptive and I was beyond myself. I went into struggle again, I was not free to act out and nurture these feelings as I wished. I kept saying I would never leave my husband, I love him more than I ever loved him. However my heart is also with the other man. I have no contact at this point, I have surrendered to just loving and being with what is. I am working on fulfilling my dreams and aspirations. Through this journey what I learned to love myself, getting that my life mattered and use the love I feel within me to make a difference in other people’s lives. Since 14 years ago, I had asked universe to send me someone with specific descriptions and each time I knew the person was the one I asked for, in these two instances I was hugged in a way where my heart connected. The difference was that when I met my husband and we hugged I had only known him for an hour, but it felt as if I had known him all my life. However with the friend I had known him for many years and the love I had in my heart for him was transparent to me, until the specific hug happend!
Dear Sir,
Regards from Istanbul, I wanted to send you this link via a comment from my Facebook profile and of course it did not work, I really do not know if you have the time to read all the links sent to yourselves but anyhow I wanted to share a link for a flash fiction entry experimental I have proceeded back in the days about a triangle relationship which is actually has taken place in my life many times, since I have written this experimental short story these kinds of events stopped taking place. The link is as following:
http://anotherealm.com/contest/love.html
I have not got any intention to sponsor or advertise any web page or etc.
All the best from Istanbul…
Babur Albayrak
Hi Paulo,
What an interesting question. I think love is the most used and abused word in the history of mankind. We have loved, hated, killed, done ugliest things in the name of love. But yet it remains the MOST powerful. To me to love with spontaneity is the highest form of religion.
I believe that all of us grow in four directions in life, physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Once we are in a relationship, both of us grow in these four directions. But sadly never at the same speed. So over a period of time, one path of us is ahead or behind our partners similar path. And humans, being who we are, are in a continuous search for LOVE. Suddenly we end up meeting someone who matches the space of one of the four elements that match the distance we travel. And we are once again attracted to that person, to the response to the instincts. Man shall not stop loving and the search of LOVE seems to be eternal. I think people can love two people, but the love is different. Its in a different way. Each fulfilling the need to GIVE just as much as the need to receive.
i feel it’s our search for eternal love that drives us.Right, at times we do end up with the wrong person, tell me, what about the few who tend to meet life after life?
n still never come at peace, balances to fill, maybe.. love can’nt be justified, it’s just this powerful beautiful feeling which can be satiated with purity,which we emote with all our strength.
When you love 2 people with the same intensity there comes a point where you will have to choose or you will loose them both and you will never be happy with your choice. You’re doomed to be torchered, looking for faults in both to make your choice an easy one but even if you think you’ve made the right choice you will always be thinking about the one who got away. Your heart will never be fullfilled, your soul will never be complete. You’ll just float by life not really living. Just content and never more.
I think this is the worse fate of them all. I hope I’m wrong.
Cada Amor da la Inspiración: Paulo Coelho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N8VzmNzqUQ
As paulo coelho says in most of his books that love cannot be possessed…and one may have many soulmates..
which means that you can always fall in love with many people at the same time..love is not limited to a being and to a person..it is universal…
Our soul has a path, guided by the personal legend. Under this assumption, if two people have entered into your life, and you feel connected to each, there is a reason, a purpose, a lesson your soul wants to learn. We are seeking, needing, wanting many things from this life. (Certainly, we must be aware of negative intent, that is, motivations of greed or jealousy, or so-called needs and wants fabricated by the ego to feed itself. However, in these cases, “love” cannot exist.) Is it not reasonable that more than one person may be required to fulfill these things? As individuals, if we love and accept ourselves, if we honestly assess our attributes, would not each of us find limitations as well as gifts? If I love someone, as I love myself, of course I wish that person to have all needs met, even as I wish to fulfill my needs. To deny a loved one the love of another seems diametrically opposed to the intrinsic elements of love. To assume that loving one person precludes, impedes, or disallows loving another seems another contradiction.
Love is eternal. “Falling in love” inherently opens the possibility of “falling out of love”, while also implying a lapse in awareness that resulted in a stumble or a slip, and consequently, a fall. Yes, of course, figure of speech. Admittedly, I have followed this path many times, often with the injuries associated with a fall. Also, I see many comments here referencing “romantic” pursuits and the “physical” stress involved in loving more than one person. Are these not aspects of a relationship more than defining characteristics of “love”? In my experience, any love that was truly love, lives always within me, beyond romance, beyond physical. As the poet Gibran wrote, “Love seeks only to fulfill itself.” I refer to a pure love, a recognition of self in another, a connection of light and energy, that simply IS. Love of which you are aware without thought. Love that lives without effort. Love that reminds us we are all of one.
Yet, by attempting to define love, I feel I’ve limited its power…herein could lie the very conflict of “The Triangle.” By our own perceptions, definitions, and expectations of “love”, have we created a conflict in loving two people simultaneously? If we abandoned such concepts, and simply experienced the love NOW, would the conflict exist?
Several comments here refer to marriage and/or monogamous relationships. I ask you to consider these words by the poet Gibran, from his work, “The Prophet”, on Marriage:
—
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
——-
As each soul diligently seeks answers, I do believe it is vital to ally yourself with those having the same questions, perhaps more importantly, the same fundamental understanding of the objective attained by the asking and the answering. However, what good results from limiting ALL souls to our individual understanding? Is it not our individual fears, insecurities, doubts, limitations, incapacities that motivate us to assert “Love is this way” or “Love is that way”?
Allow me to say that among all of you who visit here, I believe there must be a universal draw, a desire to grow in spirit, a yearning to open to something we sense, almost forgotten, almost remembered. If my words provoke, dismay, comfort, inspire, please know I experience similar reactions…and these are my thoughts! I recently read some of Paulo’s notes from his learning in the RAM, and his master encourages him to be the person he wants to be, if only for ten minutes every day, to reach beyond his limits. In the spirit of the Warrior of the Light, one must be clear in the objective, and like water, be willing to follow whatever route finds the objective, even if it is not the way one planned. For the Warrior of Light, “Without love, he is nothing.” My objective is to experience love, and I will follow wherever it beckons, for, above all else, I have faith in love. I know it will not call me to the injury of any beloved.
As a final thought, I give you words from “Emmanuel’s Book”: “Love is not mastered. It is allowed.”
Dear Rose,
YESSSSSSSSssss, beautiful. Love knows no ‘rules’, all is fair.
Love, Jane : )
there are no rules for love u can be happily in love with someone and have the same or deeper love for someone else but in my opinion u shouldnt act on it coz it will tear ur soul apart with guilt and break ur loves heart and soul
beautiful thoughts from a beautiful mind.
typical human love is dependent, possessive, selfish agreement. Yes, we tend to love people who agree with us and the moment they threaten our believes we don’t love them anymore and go on seeking another “ally”. Personalities don’t love, they only want something. When we love from the Spirit, we want nothing from the other , not even love.
Genuine love for another is really self-love and why it couldn’t be for more than one person?
Beautiful thoughts Rose. I like what you said:
‘I see many comments here referencing “romantic” pursuits and the “physical” stress involved in loving more than one person. Are these not aspects of a relationship more than defining characteristics of “love”?’
So very true, when we love, we just love, love just is, it does not give reason, nor ask questions. It is felt, in the heart, in the mind and in the soul.
Love Simply Is!
Love
C.
i have the same feeling. our wave length matches. i can fall in love many people at a time and i have experienced it. “Love is not mastered. It is allowed.”
love this piece….thanks for sharing…
Rose amazing paragraph, much of logic and common sense
im lebanese, and Gibran is one of those who push me to be proud of my nationality, he writes in a so different way; i agree with what you said…
Enjoy
Regards
Polgmomy – of course…
I returned to Ghana last month…
back to a society where MAN is allowed to take as many wives as he so chooses.
This of course is not a reversible scenario: woman can’t take more than one man[?!]
To marry more than one is to be encouraged if one has sufficient resources to do so…
but i think over time, this may have become misconstrued… now it sometimes appears that, to have more than one wife shows that you ARE wealhty and of good status…
A local Chief [traditional ruler] had about 40 wives…
indeed, I think even some Marquess of an English county had several handfuls of mistress to his name….
is it love?
;o)
I live in Ghana….I am Ghanaian…
It is an individual choice…..we are all at choice…
Dear Aiyogini
I met a girl from Ghana on the tram the other day.I really admired the way she was dealing with her phone, sending all the messages and all….. I wish, I wish
:)
u wish u were in Ghana?…:-)…..
I wish I learned how to go about with all those new gadgets….
I know I have to learn that new language,, abiy0gini
Thanks for that, have a nice week end
:)
I am writing a response to Paulo Coelho’s blog posted for all readers:
Dear Paulo,
We are following each other on Twitter and I am also subscribed to The Warrior of the Light emails.
I am writing about the triangle: falling in love with two different people with the same intensity at the same time.
I am reminded of your novel “Brida” wherein the woman falls in love with her soul mate and yet goes on with life with her boyfriend.
For the past two days I have been thinking about your question. Now that I am still thinking about it, might as well post my thoughts.
Yes, it is possible to “fall in love” with two people with the same intensity at the same time. BUT. Only for a moment. The heart has the capacity to choose without influence from the mind. The heart knows for whom it is beating. And if the view is cloudy and the decision hard to make, the forces of heaven will choose for that person – through circumstances beyond control, even at the expense of what the person thinks he wants.
In our secret hearts, we may have fond feelings, memories and well-wishes for another; but that is momentary. We are meant to pour our energies on a beloved, not two. It is demeaning for either party to entertain other romantic pursuits.
One of my favorite authors, M. Scott Peck, says that Love is Discipline and defined love as “The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another spiritual growth.” It is possible to love two people but it is imperative to choose only one or no one (but the lone self) in order to be fair to all.
Loving and committing to one, though, does not mean one is shackled, imprisoned in that love. That is not love. In loving only one, we are disciplined and yet we grow among other people, trusting that the beloved will always be there, and vice versa.
This is my experience. This is what my heart is telling me to share to all.
I just love what u have written and agree, one has to make a decision to be committed, in a marraige or partnership!
What has happened to morality and fidelity?
I posted this on my blog:
I am writing a response to Paulo Coelho’s blog posted for all readers:
Dear Paulo,
We are following each other on Twitter and I am also subscribed to The Warrior of the Light emails.
I am writing about the triangle: falling in love with two different people with the same intensity at the same time.
I am reminded of your novel “Brida” wherein the woman falls in love with her soul mate and yet goes on with life with her boyfriend.
For the past two days I have been thinking about your question. Now that I am still thinking about it, might as well post my thoughts.
Yes, it is possible to “fall in love” with two people with the same intensity at the same time. BUT. Only for a moment. The heart has the capacity to choose without influence from the mind. The heart knows for whom it is beating. And if the view is cloudy and the decision hard to make, the forces of heaven will choose for that person – through circumstances beyond control, even at the expense of what the person thinks he wants.
In our secret hearts, we may have fond feelings, memories and well-wishes for another; but that is momentary. We are meant to pour our energies on a beloved, not two. It is demeaning for either party to entertain other romantic pursuits.
One of my favorite authors, M. Scott Peck, says that Love is Discipline and defined love as “The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another spiritual growth.” It is possible to love two people but it is imperative to choose only one or no one (but the lone self) in order to be fair to all.
Loving and committing to one, though, does not mean one is shackled, imprisoned in that love. That is not love. In loving only one, we are disciplined and yet we grow among other people, trusting that the beloved will always be there, and vice versa.
This is my experience. This is what my heart is telling me to share to all.
I Think That It’s Impossible Love Two DIfferents People At The Same Time…
You Could Get Passion, Obsessed, But, For Me, The Real Love Only Can Be Felt For One People.
=D
There are so many things that attract me into a relationship and its very rare to find them all in one person so i always end up being very much in love with two sometimes three people at the same time. It is very stressful and confusing…
ofcourse love has no rules, afterall it’s about your emotions. but in the end, you have to pick one of ur lovers, because if u love them that intensly, u would want to marry them and u could only marry one, and if u ever decide to marry two, your spouses wouldn’t be that happy with you…
Again, I am living this topic.
It is incredible to be living what I read. It is almost like a ‘live’ book!!
Anyway. As for loving 2 people with same intensity. It is not actually me who loves. The one I love has someone else.
So by guessing what was in his mind/heart to get into the triangle, I think that even being in a loving relationship, either you grow apart of the ‘chosen one’ was not the right match.
These are all assumptions but I think humans can love 2 or more at the same time. Physically, it is quite stressful if you have to give the same amount of attention to both.. But if making prioritizations, it may be possible. I know that most of people who read me now will hate me. Since it is against the religion and the culture. Speaking of culture and religion, there are countries that consider completely ‘normal’ multiple wives/partners. Japan was like that in ancient times.. Some still lives with that.
Love with same intensity is also possible. I believe each person who we fall in love have different characters that ‘draw us’ closer to that person. So if we see the light in more than one person, it is possible to love 2 people with the same intensity but for different reasons.
As for now, I love one. My love is based on what I look for in a person. What I’d like to share with that particular person. Also, it is my nature to be monogamist. But even being monogamist, I understand the variety of the behaviors in the universe, so I can’t judge, or close my eyes for its existence.
No one can stop love to manifest and grow within our hearts but can control the choices to make. He has his choice which is his wife and I respect it deeply.
But I can still love without expecting anything in return. It is my choice too.
When I am alone, I find out the deepest secrets about myself. I become all me in that short time – I like it.
ive been in a polygamous relationship wherein i was married to a man that has 2 wives…he said that he all love us with equally..but i never felt that he was fair and just.. so i ended the relationship coz the pain is just too much to handle..knowing that i dont deserve any of that and that there is so much to life than just enduring pain and bein miserable.. love is never enough…
I think you don’t fall in love with two people at the same time and intensity.Coz if you are really inlove with that person you will not allow your self to fall in love or to be involve with another one,and if it’s really love u will not do anything to hurt that person.But if you do,choose the second one coz you are willing to hurt the first one just to love the second one.
I don’t completely agree with the first part of your statement but I see your logic in choosing the second lover. Matters of the heart aren’t always as simple as black and white. Its the grey areas that get us into trouble.
I think it’s greed for more, you fall in love with two and then want another woman and so on. And I also think a human being is capable of loving any other human being on earth, the only difference between a “soul mate” and a normal person, is the time it takes for attraction and love to germinate.
and why not…
Hi! I dont think that an individual is capable of loving two different persons with the same intensity…God has created us with ONE HEART, which in return seeks/ looks for one life time partner..
As much as possible one should know how to tame his/her heart when it comes to loving/committing to someone. We should learn to let go someone…for me loving two people at the same intensity is a sign of selfishness ,we always want what is best for us.
Loving two people at the same time with the same intensity,is like an ordeal,its a punishment,its like inflicting wounds to oneself..It’s a source of stress, mental anguish and emotional anxiety…
Dear Sheela: Thank you to you because you give me and sharing all wonderfuls things.
You are a very good person and I wait to know more fron you.
Kises for you and I hope don´t you stay loneles than Paulo.
When we fall in love. It is an aspect of ourselves that is reflected in that person that we are loving. It is possible to love two people with the same intensity but not the same qualities.
humm in my opinion, I agree you can like two or more people at the same time but you can only really only be in love with one. .. you might not agree with it, so finally all of us might be right, any one hasn’t the last word so we speak according to our individuals experiences or view…
Some people long to find a soul mate for all their lives, but I found two… two of them within the same place. Every single thing pointed that meeting those women was a work of fate…
I was going to switch school… if I did not switch school, I’d switch the class time from afternoon to the morning and, if I dind’t change my class time, I’d switch to another class so that I could learn another language. Everything went AMAZINGLY wrong and I remained in the same school, same class, same time, same everything…
A week before the class begun, I traveled to the countryside with my parents. There were two things I had never seen in my entire life: a falling star and a true love. I spent a whole night awake, thinking about my life, about how I had never really loved anyone and caught me staring at the sky at night. I saw a shooting star for the first time and, in a bit of a ridiculosy fashion, I made a wish.
“I want to discover love”
Two weeks later, I met these two amazing women who still haunt my thoughts after 10 years. I fell in love with both, both fell in love with me… they were best friends and I had to choose between one of them. Y’know, I’ve never loved anyone else but them…
I spent 5 years with one of them, but our roads made us go separate ways. It’s weird… sometimes she calls me and tells me I’m the person who understands her best, the knows her to the fullest. I fell she still loves me and I still love her… but we simply can’t stay together.
Now guess what happened? The one I didn’t choose back then the one I left behind, is back into my life. If it isn’t fate, what is it then? After 5 years apart, after 5 years without being in touch because our friendship was kinda torn because of my relationship with her best friend, after all that time, we are approaching again.
I am living my legend now… I’m trying hard to break her heart again. I know she is still hurt, she even told me she fells awkwards when next to me, but I will try to get her back. It’s thrilling, y’know… it’s thrilling to be living your legend. It’s scary, but still amazingly thrilling. Having something to lose is good… really. If I fail, at least I know I tried
:)
God bless all
Congratulations and good luck!!!
:-)
I think the movie Vicki, Christina, Barcelona is similar. You should write a screenplay!
It’s the Thrill of the Hunt… hey sounds pretty exciting, living your legend and all! I need a Soul mate to enter my life right about now!
Hey ‘It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life so interesting’ quote by…. can you guess?? Yes!! Paulo Coelho!
Hey-hey, ain’t seen each other long. Here’s what i’ve got 2 say:
U will NEVER love two persons in the same way. The triangles mr. Coelho asked about are not more than self-deception, misunderstanding yourself and those U “love”. A human being can only love ONE human being for real at the same time. All the rest – is but a coloured mist in his/her eyes, that shrouds the world, giving back an illusion.
I love a good argument. But capitol letters is not a substitute fot truth, man
Hi freinds !
Loving and making love are diffrent !
love
aditya
I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. Let’s discuss. Write to me in PM, we will talk.
The question remains as how does the triangle begin,for me it is an improbable situation as being constrained by time and space I am bound to fall in love with a person first and if that be so, how do i have any feeling or passion left with me to share with another person. In sanskrit it is said “ekamebadwitiam”, the one and only one, I have one true self. I meet someone and am charged with emotion, i would be so engrossed in that one person and give myself completely that there is no scope for another person whatsoever.For me there is no traingle as the interaction with my beloved, the sharing and the feeling has to be total, so much so that I am left empty,just so as to feel complete.The concept of zero.
you better! Nice work! i realy love to read you!
http://www.sevenportal.ru
maicroft
Отлично написано. Позитива конечно не хватает, но читал на одном дыхании
Love triangle? Yes, it can happen. But, loving two (2) different persons at the same time with the same intensity? I doubt. Maybe, at different time… yes. Maybe, at the same time but with different intensity… yes. But, at the same time with the same intensity? I repeat, I doubt. How could that be?!? Maybe, you are just confused. Maybe, you are not true to yourself when you claim that it is. It is just a scape goat of those “two-timers”. :p
I once heard that if you fall in love with other person when you are still in love with someone else, you should not choose to love them both. Choose the other person, the second one… as you will not fall in love with the second if you already love someone completely. This sounds logical, right?
it is possible to love two people at the same time with the same intensity. I am experiencing a situation like that. The man I love loves two and I know. And just because I love him so much I can do nothing about it. I can’t make him stop loving the other woman but even though I cannot stand or deal with this situation I still remain by his side.
It’s a crime for the both of us…a constant unbearable pain we cannot deal with and cannot heal. A torture…
Does it? Or is it you ethics you talking about? If not, it looks like you are “understanding” love.
Sur la Sophrologie -
On m’a dit qu’un neuro-psychiatre de L’amerique du SUd (Alphonso Caycedo) avait trouve une methode differente pour traiter les patients qui avaient une maladie mentale.
Pour moi, la facon de voir la sophrologie est comme ca” C’est s’amuser avec des metaphores, allongee sur le sol, sur un tapis.
Penses a ton visage. Il a tout ce dont tu as besoin pour t’aider a rever.En utilisant les sens :
tu as : un nez pour sentir, des yeux pour voir, une bouche pour gouter, des oreilles pour entendre.
La connection avec tous tes sens est faite par le 3eme oeil. Penches ta tete sur le cote, imagine un triangle sur ton visage (Leonardo a fait des sketches sur cela je crois) qui va te relier avec le 3ieme oeil et ca y est tu es partie…
Repetes la procedure loorsque tu vas t’endormir.
Penses a une belle histoire – un conte de fees – comme “Alice au Pays des Merveilles” et ajoutes-y d’autres choses, tout cela avec beaucoup de couleur. Melanges le tout et…Bingo.Eureka!
Oh!C’est tout a fait mon rayon, Sheila.
En ce moment j’ecoute les Quatre Saisons (Four Seasons) Ca m’aide enormement.
Je considere egalement
d’investir dans un instrument musical – le TriangLe -:)
Avec beaucoup d’amour pour tous et Beijos “galore”.
Marie-Christine :)
hi Carolina,
Thank you for your message.
I am from the South West of France and I live there now.
:)
Dear Sheela,
About sophrology -
I was told that A South American neuro- psychiatrist (Alphonso Caycedo) thought of a new way to treat mentally ill patients.
The way I see it, it is playing with metaphors lying down on a mat,on the floor.
Now think of your face. It has everything you need to help you to dream.Use of the five senses.
A nose to smell, eyes to see, skin to touch, mouth to taste, ears to hear. Now the connection to it all is done through the third eye. Tilt your head on the side, imagine a triangle (Leonardo I think made some sketches) on your face that relies you to the third eye and there you go..Repeat the procedure when you go to sleep. Think of a nice story like “Alice in wonderland” and add bits and pieces with lots of colours, mix it all up and bingo.
Oh This is right up my alley, Sheila.
Currently listening to the Four Seasons. It is a big help.”)
Also, considering investing into a Triangle musical instrument.
Lots of love to all and beijos “galore”
:)
Dear Sheila, Paulo and all,
Thanks for that.
Sophrology is not available in Australia that I know of either, I heard about it in France a few years ago and looked it up on the web.
Alphonso Cayceda apparently wanted to find another alternative to electric shock treatments. That man is a saint.
I am enjoying the group session, the person who is conducting the session has such a lovely voice.
Lance Armstrong is doing a lot with cancer. I bought some of his bracelets and was pleased to hear him said that the money raised in France was going to remain there.
I have landed in India on several occasions never visited it. I would like to go – one day, hopefully – I have several friends that are Indians – their eyes are so bright and shiny and they are all very wise too -
I enjoyed my face done this morning. It was a bit like falling into Morpheus arms at one stage, oh heavens! I had nothing like that done before. Quite a treat! Amazing what hands can do to your face and neck.
I walked back home, went onto the City to buy a new phone something to do with the connection with the Internet. I have two lines. Anyhow, I think I got it right, a blue light appeared and I heard a sound. to recharge. Instructions and I are alliens. I have to learn all these things, everyday something new appears. It is quite a challenge living on your own.
Thanks for your love, I’ll remember that.
Keep on smiling love to all,
Marie-Christine :)
Sure Sheela, what would you like to know?
I might start with a bit of spring cleaning if you like.
I have disposed of so many things – old bottles full of grog that dated from Mathusalem, with lots of grimy things. I hope it was not served to the guests. Pretty potent. I can still smell the remnants coming out from the kitchen.
I “demolished”one section of that big buffet on the right handside of it.So going up, there is an empty side which is being hold by sticky tape???
Right at the top, I got rid of a few items as well.
Moving along onto the center, down below – it is all cleared up -
It was full of bread baskets’ types – could not help thinking” How much bread can you eat in a day?”
What can you do with all these baskets for goodness sake? I hope it makes someone happy.
The drawer is just about empty.”Upstream” it is still filled up with glasses.
I have decided to keep some of the blue ones for the kitchen.
Meantime, I will get rid of the old three coloured ones that my Mum got (I seem to remember) from a mustard collection at the Supermarket…..hee hee hee it’s true I swear,
I moved a lot of the books in the spare bedroom, in the hope that some of my friends will take them. when they come (Hey, I live in hope).
I have also disposed of some of the ornaments on the walls. It is not a pretty sight – two different tones – I am not even sure the vacuum-cleaner will make a difference.
The black phone is out of sight – onto the bin as well – It was the one you could not hear yourself talking and neither did the other people on the other side of the line – Conversation went a bit like that :”Allo, Allo, can’t hear. – I guess sometimes it can get handy -
The faded silk flowers having degenerated, birds no longer appearing, so out they went .
I forgot to mention the daily routine bin thing (potatoes peelings, bottle of water, etc) were also part of numerous trips up and down the road.
All in all, I am pretty pleased with my efforts and I decided to reward myself with a banana and some “petits cakes aux fruits – another one of my “peche mignon”.
I have to hide them otherwise I gobble them up too fast – sometimes I even pretend to hide them – like that I go into a “hide and seek adventure”.
I have find some ROchas chocolates – I don’t particularly like them – they get in your teeth – it’s the nuts bit – they must be out of date anyhow – so I won’t take the risk.
I must be off and see if I can rally a few more items, one never knows.
so , it’s “Hi Hee, Hi oh and off to work I go.”
Keep on smiling :)
P.S. Keep this as a reference (I hope you won’t mind) please – when I do my inventory , I’ll then know what I have been up too.
Till next time, Love and un monton de beijos.
Marie-Christine
I came to this earth via polygamy — the ultimate triangle/rectangle/quadrangle love. The good thing about polygamy is that each love knows about the other and accepts the union. When this happens “all is well” and the home/s function quite nicely. Soulmates everyone. However, very rarely does a congenial union occur without brainwashing. When there is a conflict or a jealousy or a “favorite wife,” it is hell for everyone, especially the children. This may seem strange of me to bring this type of triangle into this discussion, but I thought it would add another perspective.
Take the role of the child. If you are married to someone you love and have brought children into this world, never forget what brought you and your love together. If you find another ‘soulmate”, don’t forget what you have at home even if your heart-strings are tugged by a gigantic magnet. When we are in a love triangle, we try to think it through both emotionally and logically and try to rationalize our choice. Heartache occurs on many sides. Shouldn’t a warrior of the light make sure his/her children are being taught how to become warriors of the light? “He knows that if he does not do anything for the world, no one else will. “
paulo i love you for ever eres el mejor escritor del mundo , todos tus libros me fascinan.Ven a la Republica Dominicana, que tienes un monton de admiradores por favor en cuanto puedas. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
I believe each individual will experience “love” in different ways. I think true love can be only fulfilled with a SoulMate. I wrote a poem, “SoulMate Reunion”, in this poem I described that a SoulMate may have the same values and even before they meet each other in this life time, they may feel at the sametime what the other feels; like a pain, joy, laugh etc. It’s interesting that they are in some sort of keen frequency.
I personally, never fell in love for 2 men at the sametime. When I’m in love I have to give no just half of my self but my entire body and heart to that especial man.