One week ago I posted a Forum on soulmates and we had over 1.000 comments.
But love has no rules, and sometimes you may fall in love with the same intensity with two different people. Then you are facing something that you didn’t expect and this affects your life. So this week the forum is about the Triangle, falling in love with two people, at the same time with the same intensity. Please share your opinions and experiences here.
Love
Paulo
The Triangle
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An interesting situation — in love with two different people at the same time, at the same intensity. Of course one has to choose, otherwise everyone just ends up getting hurt. But there are more questions I would ask — are they both single? are they both ready for a relationship with me? are they both in love with me? Just because I am in love with them, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they are in love with me with the same intensity. So the question is: Which man do I see myself building a life with? Which man would treat me the way I deserve to be loved? Love is much more than a feeling and an emotion. It is a commitment and a bond between two people. I would have to think beyond the emotion of the moment. If I love both men with the same intensity, I would choose the one who loves me more.
eh por isso que fidelidade eh importante,
já que podemos amar duas pessoas ao mesmo tempo devemos amenizar os riscos.
sendo fiel, nós evitamos que uma simples atração por outra pessoa possa se tornar algo que vai comprometer a sua relacoa com a pessoa que vc ja ama.
mas o amor eh algo realmente complicado…
Cuando era pequeño, siempre que me preguntaban sobre a quién quería más, si a mi padre o a mi madre, yo respondía a los dos…
One can love two people at the same time but never equally, it really all is nothing more than selfish but for one’s desire to be wanted and needed. You breed envy and hate, having multiple partners is like having children, the same questions arise e.g. who is the favourite, why did she/he get that and I didn’t and if children are involved the dynamics get more complex…
Eu acredito que ás vezes a linha entre o amor passional e fraternal pode ser muito tênue,dificultando a distinção entre um e outro.No caso de amar duas pessoas com a mesma intensidade,no meu ponto de vista é algo mais fraternal.Nas vezes que eu me apaixonei ou acreditei estar amando uma pessoa a qual tinha ou queria ter um relacionamento amoroso, parecia inconcebível amar outra ao mesmo tempo!
Hello Paulo and world,
For all the people i met. this is always an issue, people always have this confusion of choosing the the right one in the triangle… but there is this thing i learned that its not about loving the perfect one but its about loving the imperfect one perfectly…
but still i could be wrong… hehehe
correct me if i am…
Rinewalt
Bueeno…yo he amado a dos personas al mismo tiempo, pero el amor que sentia por uno y por otro no se parecian nada
A few years back, I met someone during my first ever trip to Loret Del Mar, Spain. The way that we met and our time together, to me was completely magical. I never forgot her, years have passed and I loved many other women. But in the back of my mind, I still loved her, the young woman I met in Spain. Soulmates, perhaps aren’t always meant to be together. Maybe it (love) is something that some of us are privy to hold on to, and others (maybe like me) see the world of love as passing ships. What do you think?
I am currently in love with two men…They are completely opposites but I love them both..I guess at some point you will have to make a choice, I made my choice earlier tonight and I hope I made the right decision.
Love comes when you least expect it to, you can’t control it and you just have to embrace it.
Don’t know that I have fallen in love with two people at the same time, I dont think my heart would have room for it. I have heard it is possible, my heart only has room for one, who ever it may be, perhaps oneday, but not today:)I have been in love and it is a beautiful thing! I hope to fall in love again!
Olá Paulo, o assunto é interessante e ao mesmo tempo complicado de responder. A primeira coisa para se chegar a uma resposta coerente a isso seriam as definições de amor, paixão e atração física. Partindo dessas definições penso que daria para avaliar se é possível ou não um triângulo amoroso, retângulo, ou afins. Como não posso ficar em cima do muro, para mim eu acho que não há amor para com duas pessoas ao mesmo tempo, mas pode existir uma que você ame e outra que você esteja apaixonada(ou atraido fisicamente). As opiniões vão mudar de pessoa para pessoa, pois cada um vai responder a partir daquilo que viveu e dos seus princípios éticos e religiosos. Querendo ou não, o amor tem sua forma singular em cada pessoa, por mais que a palavra na sua forma escrita seja a mesma.
Abraços.
I’ve seen this “love triangle” in the movies—alot of times already—and I had had been in the situation myself. Most of the time, not always,the result has been painful and the pain leads to hatered; it is catastrophic! One must follow his/her heart, but one must also know that even if the rivers lead to the same sea, the journey must be done one river at a time. Paddling at two rivers at a time is almost impossible,if not, too risky(it will get you nowhere.).
Is not easy to think Human being could be love 2 persons at the same time… But its so easy, I can love a very pasionate man who gives me Energy!!! and at the same time I can love a very quiet man who brings me patience and calm. I dont think we can love two similars persons. In the variety we found the pleasure!!!
I love this forum about love. Maria from Colombia
I agree, Maria. I love my partner for many of his qualities, but I have loved others at the same time who have different qualities.
hallo yes its possible,to love two people with the same intensity,i fell in love with the love of my life,5 years ago,and with ha it was the most blissful thing i have heard in a while,and chemistry was crazy from the moment word go,and i still had a friend who was a girl who had always been there for me thick and thin listened to my bull shit,she gave me loyalty,and above else unconditional love,my girl friend went thru a troubled time periods of depression suicidal tendencies because of her rough childhood,but because of my loyalty and devotion i stood by her and supported her,i was by her side but on takin her burden i was sacrificin myself and also growin weary of carryin her burden and then my friend was like a breath of fresh air away from her,and we grew to be very close she was the opposite confident about herself strong minded and could take care of herself and i started to love her and she reciprocated the same love though she knew the situation i heard,and i had love loyalty for ma girl,but this one was different at the same time the same intensity for she was more everythin i ever wanted
I am married to a most wonderful man. I love him dearly and he loves me too. But I also love someone else…and I believe this other person is my soulmate. I could never choose. The love I feel for each one is parallel so there’s no interference. I don’t love either one more or less because there’s another. I can’t imagine life without both.
I was told once that if you are married with someone and that you meet your soulmate, it’s not good to have a love affair with him as long as you are engage with someone else. If you do it, the one who is not your soulmate can disappear or have troubles in his life!! what do you think about it?
interesante, pero en nuestra cultura es una situación mal vista, el amor es poderoso y exige respeto, así como también protagonismo.
no soportaría tener que compartir nada
Com certeza para o amor não há fronteiras. Porém não creio que seja possível, até mesmo pela natureza humana, a convivência feliz num triângulo amoroso, pois existem as inseguranças, ciúmes, e tudo isso causa dor, mais cedo ou mais tarde. No amor verdadeiro, haverá um momento em que uma decisão deverá ser tomada, aí é preciso medir, qual dor será maior????
Minha mãe sempre disse que quem ama duas pessoas, na realidade, não ama ninguém. E é fácil entender pq. Acredito que quando amamos, verdadeiramente, uma pessoa possuimos um forte sentimento de compromisso com a pessoa amanda, pois o verdadeiro amor engloba emoção, sentimento e razão: o amor de verdadeiro acontece quando amamos com a cabeça tbm. Assim, como é possível amar duas pessoas?
Podemos até ter fortes sentimentos por duas pessoas, mas não amor. O amor vai acontecer quando uma dessas duas pessoas for escolhida, quando decidimos amar uma delas.
acho que eh exatamente por isso que a fidelidade eh importante, já que corremos o risco de amarmos mais de uma pessoa, devemos evitar aventuras fora da relação para amenizar os riscos de amar mais de uma pessoa e causar sofrimento pra todos.
amor eh sempre algo complicado demais…
Caro paulo,
Nunca me aconteceu isso, e tbm nao quer dizer que aconteca a todas as pessoas. Mas se isso acontecer, podes ter a certeza que se tratam de pessoas que ja se conheciam de vidas passadas.. amor de vidas passadas.
Gostei muito do que disse.
Você tocou num ponto que é importante, pelo menos eu acho. Porque existem histórias, especialemente com a invensão da internet, que tendem a se encontrar, pelas vidas passadas que tiveram/viveram ou não tiveram/não viveram.
Cada um tem uma opinião, mas se isso acontece num relacionamento aonde eram dois e passam a ser três; e todos os envolvidos têm um entendimento pelo assunto; pode-se até começar a conversar, e quem sabe até organizar o”laço cármico ou cósmico”.
ou seja “”A Vontade de Deus”".
Mas se, acredita-se nessa existência de almas contínuas e uma das pessoas envolvidas, não leva a sério, nem acredita, “a situação” passa para outra vida; ou então a pessoa vai achar que vc. está querendo arranjar desculpas para ficar com as duas/ ou com os dois. Acho que nesse caso fica uma situação delicada.
Mas se todos os envolvidos acreditam nisso e sabe-se da existência de almas companheiras em diversos níveis da nossa vida é importante colocar pra frente, todos temos muitas “almas companheiras”.
No entanto, “o Complemento” ou “a Chama Gêmea” só existe uma que nos completa como casal aos olhos de Deus, pela Luz e vontade Dele.
Beijos,
Mari.
Olá Paulo!
Boa pergunta. Acredito no amor entre duas pessoas, mas em tres só vivendo pra saber. Acredito na paixão platônica, no rompante, mas acredito que não da certo.
Abraços.
met people and fell in love while loving another, but could never give myself equally (emotionally) to two people at the same time. there will always be more passion or infatuation for one.
falling in love is the most beautiful feeling ever and i may not change the way i am. (and i am married to a wonderful almost perfect man)
Olá Paulo!
É possível um triângulo amoroso?
É possível uma pessoa amar, intensamente,duas pessoas ao mesmo tempo?Será possível ou não?
Será uma divisão de sentimentos, que se fundem num único sentimento?Mas, será que a essência, os desejos, as loucuras, os afetos… são os mesmos ou não?
Será que se diferem?
Será que o amor é a essência das duas relações,mas de maneiras distintas…ardentes?
SIM, TUDO É POSSÍVEL!!QUANDO O AMOR É SUBLIME E VERDADEIRO!!
Paz, amor e saúde a todos.
Um abraço e um ótimo fim de semana.
Rosemary Quintas
There is no triangle nor rectangle in true love but only one simple straight line that connect 2 people , which make the next formula true 1+1=1 in love.
I loved that you wrote here Kawthar.Good formula!!
thank you for that!!
For you.
For others, life and love are different.
Well, in the same way, and granting ourselves the same mathematical nonsense, one can expand that formula as 1+1+1=1
However there is a nicer, and mathematically-right formula to describe love, and that is 1×1=1, and 1x1x1=1, and so on.
The trick is to see our love mates as a reinforcement of our unity through different embodiments, rather than as an addition of different entities.
The best comment ever! its just like she says.
my small experience
I had a trip to the far island alone,as far as i could, I went without mobiles or any contacts.
I wanted, I needed an Answer inside me.i had to choose one.
I had to say goddbye to one.
In the mystic,beautiful harbor,
Finally I could let my love leave from my heart.
The love wouldn`t leave.I said bye for love.
It seems, it is now on the bottom of the deep blue sea.
From then on, i can never touch it forever.
you can erase someone, But taking out something from your heart is another story.
it is still makes me sad.
Lovely, sad and true. Thanks for sharing. It helps.
One can always make a choice but making that choice is the real hard thing to do. Sometimes we weigh the cons and pros of each person but in the end it is up to the mind and not the heart.
my mind and my haeart don’t get along with each other, and that’s painfull.
Hello Everyone (:
I know how it feels when you are in a love triangle. In my case, it is not I that fell in love with two guys. It’s the other way around. I fell in love with somebody else’s boyfriend without knowing it. He didn’t tell me about it until it was too late to turn back. He admitted of lying to me about being single because he was desperate to get to know me at that time.
THIS IS RATHER LONG. READ ON OR JUST MOVE ON.
When we first met on a ferry ride to a remote island, our eyes locked for a few seconds that feels like forever. It has some kind of a magic to it. I just can’t explained.
It was an obvious love at the first sight for both of us. We went to our different resorts but in the same island. I met him again while having my first day lunch at the resort and he tried to steal a photo of me with his DSLR Camera. However, he thought I was having my lunch with my boyfriend, as my island tourguide was sitting beside me having the same lunch.
Then we didn’t meet again until our last night at the island. We went to the same bar, he asked my friend to invite me to join his table. I refused because I didn’t want any men to get interested on me while I was still nursing the pain of breaking off with my ex. It’s not even three months and it was so painful to even think of dealing with another man. So I refused. But he was so brave and adamant about it. He came to my table and asked politely if he would join my table instead.
I was speechless to know that the guy was the one that I locked eyes with on the ferry ride. So I allowed him to buy me a drink. The rest was history. We continued our relationship when we were back to the city. Coincidentally we are from the same city which is quite convenient to both of us to meet. After two months, we were getting really serious with each other. The love has flourished to the stage that we were inseparable. Then he broke the news that he’s actually not single. That he has a girlfriend of two years and she’s his schoolmate sweetheart ever since they were 12 years old! They were separated until they met each other again the last two years.
He said he loves both of us but he didn’t want to make a choice. However, since the girl has been his school sweetheart, and I am just a new girl in his life, he asked me to find a better man as I deserved someone better than him.
I felt like the whole world was tumbling down. I felt real hurt and double pain of being hurt by two men in my life. I distanced myself from him and erased all his contacts to move on. However, as time goes by, the memory of him remains. After 6 months, he contacted me, to go out for a movie. How in the world I agreed, I just can’t explained. Again the rest is history. Both of us, denied ourselves the truth of our relationship. Trying not to think of the other party though it is principally wrong to continue on having the relationship.
At times, I feel so guilty of having let this man cheated on his other girlfriend, as the girl is all innocent. She didn’t know a thing about it. However, one thing for sure is, in the end, I will not gain anything. He has decided to marry this girl while my presence is just like a mistress kind of thingy. Love is such a mysterious thing. It makes you compromise your philosophy of living for the bliss of being together.
So again, at present, I want to use my brain instead of my heart. I have decided to move on. Erase him forever as he is not brave enough to end it himself for he is in love with two girls, a coward and a cheater to the other.
“Love is such a mysterious thing. It makes you compromise your philosophy of living for the bliss of being together.” – this is sooo very true!! Been there… done that! I never thought I would compromise my “philosophy of living for the bliss of being together”, but now reading this and thinking about my last boyfriend this exactly what I did to just continue being together and just being friends, which never is just that after you’ve had a relationship, but for some “mysterious” reason I’ve been ok with it because I obviously still love him… even if he’s hurt me soooo much!
I think your story is a sad and complicated one.
Perhaps he was insecure about making a commitment to another girl, or perhaps he felt that he could receive love from two different sources. Either way I think it shows that his girlfriend’s love is not enough to satisfy him right now, and unless he is prepared to wake up to the thought that his love might not be worthy of her, I think they are going to fail to find happiness. Perhaps if he were strong enough to break up with her his feelings for you would be enough to commit to you, but I think it is more likely that he is used to being able to do as he pleases, and thinks that he need have no responsibility for the hearts of those he comes into contact with.
I had a similar experience, where I had made promises to one woman and then found myself falling for another, but I feel that even if I had been braver and ended the first relationship it would have poisoned the second, I needed a fresh start and to be able to see the mistake of being involve dwith the first girl to begin with.
You deserve better, and so does the other girl involved, and he needs to find out what is important to him before he causes a lot of hurt.
Hello… I can´t believe what you´ll be living right now… I hope you could move on and try to forget this man, that hasn´t deserve your love.. And the worst thing is that he has decided to marry the other girl while being with you again.. Good luck with everything!
Girl, you can do so much better, don’t give into that. Doesn’t seem like he can be honest with her so how do you expect him to ever be honest with you, and is that the kind of person you want in your life.
I think you are better off without him!
Love, comes with sacrifice. And sacrifice comes with pain. When we love, we choose who to sacrifice. And when we sacrifice, we choose the people who are going to be hurt. It’s not a matter of preventing ‘hurt’ but prioritizing people who mustn’t be hurt and who must be hurt.
Cheers…
I’m not sure that sacrifice is always pain. I make a lot of sacrifices for my daughter, because I love her – (not always, but often) I sacrifice my needs and my desires to see hers fulfilled. But this is not painful. In fact, it feels wonderful, and it doesn’t feel wonderful just because it makes me feel like some sacrificial lamb (i.e. because it boosts my ego). It feels good just because seeing her happy makes me happy.
I’ll give you another example. Sometimes I’m eating an expensive steak (and I don’t always have the money to buy a steak, but sometimes I allow myself the luxury) and I look down and there are my dogs, gathered around my feet, sitting quietly, watching me eat. So, when I get toward the end, I stop eating, even though I want to eat the whole thing – I stop, and I give them the rest. This is a “sacrifice,” but it is not painful, because seeing them enjoy those few bites gives me more pleasure that I got from eating the steak myself.
So, I’m not sure that hurt and sacrifice do always go hand-in-hand. Sometimes when we make sacrifices for others, the joy that we get from seeing them happy and fulfilled is greater than any other gain imaginable. In the act of sacrifice it doesn’t seem to me that we are prioritizing people who mustn’t and who must be hurt; we are prioritizing desires. If we truly love someone, would we wish that our own desires always be fulfilled, even at the expense of theirs? Love is a gift from the Universe. Being hurt by love is a choice that we make.
I know that sound harsh. I’ve been hurt by love myself. But when I look back on those incidents with some degree of detachment, I can clearly see that the hurt came only because I was clinging when I should have let go.
Much Love,
Savita
Pain should not exits in Love. Life should not be painful. Happiness is our birthright, yet we all go through life trying to achieve it like it’s something so far fetched that we have to work hard for it. Life Can be simple and pleasurable, but as a mass we’ve been conditioned otherwise.
Love exists abundantly, we can have and give it abundantly, it becomes painful only when lies, disrespect and deceit come into play. True what Savita says, there is pleasure in sacrifice. We have become so square and rigid believing only what has been told to us that anything out of that norm becomes alien, scary and unacceptable, even if it makes clear sense we are unable to comprehend it because of our conditioning.
What works for one person may or may not work for another, but at least we should be open and accepting of everyone’s choices.
love ?
what is love ? what is that love which is being used to justify having love triangles.
if one beleives zesus, one is supposed to love the whole humanity, nay teh whole existance. the feeling of love remains same, expression may differ for a child, for a member of opposit sex, for an elderly person, for other animate being, for inanimate beings. If one can knock out possesivesness from ,ove, and one must do that knock out possesiveness, becAUSE THAT POSSESIVENESS POISONS love, and then it’s not love, remove possisiveness and one can love as many persons as we can,
but society is probably not ready for such a stand, not everyone is truthful and mature enough; afterall society has to first of all see that social fabrics remains strong and unbroken, without human society there is no possibility of the lofty existance of individuals !
love
aditya
Dear Aditya,
I have been reading your comments all week and I very much agree with your viewpoint. I rather doubt that I could define what love IS – it escapes definition – but I can definitely say what I think love IS NOT: love is not “ownership” of another human being. Anytime that we feel the need to express ownership, it is because jealousy is at the root of that impulse. Jealousy is born of fear – the fear of losing someone, the fear of not being held as important as someone else, the fear of abandonment – and fear has no relationship with genuine love. There is a passage in the Bible which I think expresses this perfectly: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18) Jealousy is a form of fear; in perfect love there is no jealousy.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Aditya – truly a breath of fresh air.
Hello Aditya. I wanted to share this text with you. I translated as I could in English. You put Love with an interrogation mark. After reading all the comments on the meaning of love, triangle think, etc, I went to the source to which I refer at times, because honestly confusion arises in my mind in trying to find answers. I know for myself my answer, but then I just wanted to share this with you, and the others who will read.
1 Pierre 3.8
Fraternal Love
So, be all of you in the same dispositions, acting with compassion, animated in a fraternal love, humble.
1 Corinthiens 13.1-13
Love
If I speak languages, language of the human and of the angels, if I do not have love, I am like a metal that resonate.
If I have the skills of prophecy, the knowing of all the mysteries and of all the science, if I attain the high level of faith, the one that moves mountains, if I do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give all my belongings to those who are hungry, if I deliver my body to the flames, if I do not have love, I do not gain nothing.
Love demands patience, love gives a sense of utility,
It does not possess, grows with ego, does not accomplish “ugly”, do not seek its own interest,
It does not irritate itself, does not maintain resentment.
It is not happy in front of injustice but finds its joy in the truth.
Love excuses all, beliefs everything, understands everything, endure everything
Love does not disappear.
Prophecies? They will be abolished.
Languages? They will finish.
Understandings? They will be abolished.
Because our science is limited and limited is our prophecy.
But when will come the perfection, what is limited will be abolished.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, thought as a child, reasoned as a child.
Adult, I put a term of what was proper to childhood.
Now, we see in a mirror and in a confused way, but at that time it will be face to face.
Now, my understanding is limited, then, I will know as I am known.
Now, three things stand, faith, “espérance” and love, but love is the greater of all.
If that fits in the triangle, Super! In the triangles that I was involved with, many of them did not hold to the sense that I give to love. For me, the love that I have come to learn, is the fraternal love, God’s love, for myself, the other, the world and the celest plans. And I do not judge the path of anybody, and I hope I will not be judged on my path. The important thing is for me to follow my path and accomplish my souls’ mission.
Hi all,
I have found the replies very interesting.
I think what most people forget is that the way we see love at this time in history and in our culture, is not how it has always been.
You only have to think of biblical times – think of King David or King Solomon and his harem. It was quite normal for a man to have, love, and even possess many women. In some matriarchal cultures it was the other way around – a women could have many men.
We have a fairy tale romantic view of love, but in truth, it is about self development and the experiences we have chosen to have in this life-time at a soul level.
we project ourselves and our feelings onto other people, and it is quite possible to have one person meeting one set of needs and projections while another meets another set.
The problem is that this is not acceptable in our society (you only have to read the comments above to see that it evokes a great deal of angst to even think about sharing a loved one with somebody else). Which means that, should this situation happen to you, you have to choose. Or you have to live a lie. Or you can try to get everybody to live happily together (polygamy). Whatever you do, it is going to cause great stress – but in the end it is just another learning path.
There are no soul mates. We are all one. Until we really know that, we will be subject to the dream of separation and the waywardness of our monkey minds and emotions! Have fun with it!! Create it! It’s great!
Gayle
daca azi as fi nevoit sa-mi aleg o ultima dorinta pentru aceasta viata,as alege sa te pot imbratisa,sa te pot privi si apoi sa-ti pot saruta mainile atat de fragede…daca azi as fi nevoit sa decid soarta unui singure fapture din acest univers te-as alege pe tine..ti-as desena un viitor minunat,as presara multe victorii..daca as fi nevoit sa aleg un zambet pentru acest univers,cu siguranta zambetul tau ar fi cel ales…daca as fi sa aleg ultimele cuvinte pentru tine,m-as multumi doar cu doua cuvinte..”te iubesc” pentru ca aceste doua cuvinte ating perfectiunea.sunt singurele cuvinte pe care le aude fericirea…sunt singurele cuvinte care nu ranesc niciodata…daca totusi nu voi avea sansa sa aleg ceva,daca totusi nu voi reusi sa strabat continentul propriilor amagiri,ma voi gandi neincetat la tine… te vad in orice lucru de pe acest pamant…am un dor nebunesc de o clipa de iubire…imi e dor de ochii tai…nu stiu ce sa fac pentru a traversa zidul care s-a pus intre noi…ma tot gandesc la aceasta iubire imposibila..eu te iubesc pe tine,tu il iubesti pe el..iar el,incearca sa ascunda totul…eu incerc sa te gasesc,iar tu doresti sa te ascunzi..eu te iubesc din ce in ce mai mult,dar tu incepi incet incet sa ma urasti…gandul meu este mereu la tine,iar lumea incepe sa ma creada un nebun,,un fraier..nu ma intereseaza opinia lor…ma intereseaza frumuseta care sta ascunsa in inima ta…stiu ca sunt intr-un razboi cu propriile mele limite..stiu ca incerc sa depasesc intunericul si neputinta care ma inconjoara..traiesc cu speranta ca dincolo de acest intueric,dincolo de acest zid se afla puterea dragostei…sper sa te gasesc la capatul acestui labirint…imi doresc sa ajung din nou in templu sacru al iubirii..nu stiu daca acest lucru se va intampla,dar iubirea este singura forta din acest univers care te ajuta sa treci peste nefericire si intuneric.esti un mit…sau poate ca esti revelatia viitorului traita intr-un prezent etern…esti visul acestui univers sau esti creatia unor forte supranaturale..esti inger sau esti stea..dar ce mai conteaza..poate ca esti un om,un simplu muritor..orice ai fi,esti singura care poate incalzi acest suflet nevinovat care s-a ratacit in trupul meu…stiu ca esti si vis si realitate..nu stiu ce sa mai fac pentru a putea fura un zambet,un sarut si o imbratisare de la tine…esti mitul propriei mele amintiri..esti povestea de dragoste pe care oricine ar fi interesat sa o asculte..esti iubirea pe care fiecare pamanteaan doreste sa o cunoasca si sa o atinga.se spune ca fiecare om are o stea..toti spun ca fiecare om e calauzit in aceasta viata de o stea…oamenii cred in puterea misterioasa a acestor scantei ceresti..toti doresc ca steaua lor sa fie cea mai puternica,pentru a putea ajunge in deasupra tuturor…pentru mine stelele sunt scanteile iubiri,sunt acele dovezi ale pasiunii dintre doua suflete…stiu,si eu am in acest univers o flacara a creatiei prin iubire..doresc ca aceasta flacara sa nu se stinga niciodata…aceasta stea poarta zambetul tau din momentul cand te-am intalnit..pana atunci,steaua mea,cunostea doar o singura persoana:pe mine..dar azi ea te cunoaste si pe tine…si ,pentru a putea straluci mai puternic are nevoie de o unire a zambetelor noastre,are nevoie de iubire….nimeni nu crede,dar toti isi doresc…asa ca m-am gandit sa incerc,sa pornesc in aceasta calatorie plina de mister…poate ca toti au aflat,dar nimeni nu a inteles..nimeni nu stie ce simt eu pentru tine..toti cred ca imi pun in pericol propriul viitor,cand eu tocmai mi-l construiesc langa tine.toti spun ca ar trebui sa ma retrag,dar nimeni nu observa ca nu exista niciun drum de intoarcere..toti cred ca aripile mele au obosit,dar gresesc…aripile mele sunt bataile inimii,singurele care ma pot ajuta in aceasta viata….tu,te ascunzi dupa aceste umbre ale acestor pamanteni..iar eu,nu mai pot controla acest vultur care s-a nascut din dorinta de a te aduce din nou alaturi de mine….treptele sacre ale iubirii par vise imposibile…dar iubirea este forta care ma poate ajuta sa le urc….lasa-ma sa privesc acesti ochi minunati,lasa-ma sa mangai mainile tale delicate.. imi spui mereu sa ma opresc.doresti mereu sa nu pornesc in cautarea adevaratei aventuri…stiu ca voi intalni furtuni,stiu ca ma voi lovi de multe obstacole,dar eu,eu nu ma mai pot opri.lupt,lupt pentr tine,dar si pentru mine…sentimentele mele invadeaza aceste cuvinte,incerc,dar nu reusesc sa ma opresc..momentan ma aflu deasupra celui mai mare ocean al vietii.daca voi reusi sa-l traversez,voi ajunge sa cunosc ce e iubirea,ce e fericirea….insa,daca nu voi reusi acest lucru,ma voi prabusi in cumplita nefericire..cand sunt departe de tine,imi doresc sa explorez adancurile acestui ocean,dar atunci cand ajung la tine,visul meu este acela de a cerceta inaltimile…viata mea este un simplu joc de iubire…un simplu joc,pe care-l joaca zeii,pe care -l joci chiar tu,iubirea mea…spune-mi ca in aceste zile care au trecut m-ai mintit.spune-mi ca nu e adevarat faptul ca iubesti pe altcineva..spune-mi,sau macar trimite ruga catre ceruri sa rapeasca acest suflet nevinovat care zace in trupul meu.. ”toti suntem dependenti de ceva.unii sunt dependenti de cafea,bauturi,muzica,jocuri filme.eu sunt dependent de lumina ochilor tai,de frumusetea zambetului tau..de aceea,te rog,grabestete si vino spre mine… ”as vrea sa-ti povestesc despre puterea ochiilor tai,sa-ti spun cat de frumosi sunt.ti-as explica toate evenimentele pe care ochii tai i-au indeplinit.as dori sa vorbesc tuturor despre ochii tai,dar cred ca atunci vei intelege ca sunt o simpla umbra in fata ochilor pe care ii iubesc…….as vrea sa vorbesc cu tine si sa-mi exprim toate sntimentele mele pentru tine..dar imi este deama de esec.fara tine nu as mai rezista pe aceasta planeta…daca te-as supara as merita orice pedeapsa,pentru ca o asemenea fapta ar fii de neiertat.. http://adikady2009.blogspot.com
http://adikady2009.blogspot.com
http://adikady.forumgratuit.ro/forum.htm
what are there inside this kind of triangle? i think it tries to keep alive or wake up the desire,this state of love,by many others feelings.
Ñ só acredito q se possa amar mais de uma pessoa, como tb já passei por isso e vi pessoas queridas passarem. Nem sempre precisa tá em crise ou faltando algo p q se deixe apaixonar por outra pessoa. A vida é muito imprevisível (Graças a Deus!) Às vezes uma admiração passa por um processo até involuntário tornando-se amor. Somos diferentes, somos mutáveis, somos grandiosos qdo queremos nos doar e Amor é algo q nunca nos falta. Contudo, acredito q é muito difícil se permitir ir muito além, uma vez q alguém pode sair machucado com essa situação. Queria sinceramente q toda sociedade fosse polígama, claro de ambos os lados, mas fico pensando, e qdo quisermos formar família, como fica? Pq seria injusto só os homens ter o previlégio de realização com mulheres q o completam. Sempre fiz escolhas, e o pior q sempre as erradas, mas acho q a vida tb é assim, ñ se pode ter tudo, mas pode fazer tudo com o q tem, ou tentar.
Bjos Paulo
Carinhosamente, sua fã nº 9.451.733.001 (huahuahuah…)
LOVE IS LIKE THE SWEEET SOUND OF AN ANGEL
LOVE IS LIKE A FLOWING RIVER ,ENDLESS
LOVE IS LIKE A PRAYER BEING ANSWERED
LOVE WHEN REAL IS NOT TO BE SHARED ,IS TO BE TREASSURED!
THEREFORE, WE CONFUSE BEING IN LOVE AND LOVING AND AT THE END
BEING USED TO A SITUATION TAKES THE TOLL IN LOVING SOMEONE AND TRULY BEING IN LOVE. WHEN YOUR MIND AND SOUL ARE IN THE SAME PLACE ONLY ONE PERSON IS ENOUGH TO FULLFIL YOUR NEEDS AND WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF SEARCHING EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE IN LOVE …THEN YOU WHERE NOT.LOVING 2 PEOPLE IS COMMUN NOW DAYS I WOULD SAY BUT IF IT IS TRUE LOVE IT WOULD NEVER WITH THE SAME INTENSITY AND IF IT IS NEITHER ARE TRUE LOVES ONLY LOST !HOW FUNNY LIFE IS .SOMETIMES AS WE STROLL ALONG LIFE AND WE ARE JUST FINE SOMEONE COMES ALONG WITH OTHER INTENTIONS TO TAKE FOCUS OUT OF THE PATH WE ARE WALKING ALONG AND THE PATH BECOMES WEARY AND CERTAINLY MISLEADING.WE START TO SHIFT OUR THOUGHTS KNOWING THAT WE ARE JUST ONE STEP TO FALLING AND GETTING SO HURT THAT NOTHING COULD SAVE US FROM THIS DISASTER.AM VERY DISSAPOINTED AT A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE SPECIALLY EMPTY PROMISES THAT WE CANT KEEP UP WITH,AT BEAUTIFUL WORDS THAT ELEVATES US AND AS SOON AS WE REALLY TAKE A LONG LOOK AT THEM IS LIKE FALLING FROM A CLIF SO HIGH THAT NOTHING SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO HELP THE HURT WHEN WE LAND INTO REALITY.YES,HURT! AT TIMES BECAUSE OF OUR OWN SELFISHNES WE HURT FOR THE PLAIN FACT OF BEING STUPID AND NOT FALLOWING LIFES RULES AND REGULATION .FOR TRYING TO BE SMART AND TIME FULFILLING TO OUR OWN EGOS AND SELF NEEDS .THATS WHY WE LOVE 2 PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME …TO FULLFIL WHAT WE ARE MISSING AND TO DEAL WITH OUR OWN INSECURITIES ……..
CUQUI
Wonderful, Cuqui!
thank you for writing.. i think it’s true about insecurities.. sometimes we are searching something else in somebody else, even one person is not enough for us.. i ask myself, maybe we even don’t know really LOVE?.. love it’s for me first of all giving, treassuring as you said, and not taking all the time..
It happened to me once. I had this boyfriend and at first, everything was perfect. Then he became too busy with different things. Let’s just say we didn’t have this kind of bonding like what we had before. I tried to understand the situation but it did not go that well. That time I tried to focus on different things too, to let myself busy also. I bonded with my friends to cheer myself up. I don’t knoe but this friend of mine came along the way. We shared times, times that me and my boyfriend SHOULD be sharing. He was always there. Then one day I knew I was falling in love..
Yes.. At the same time but I don’t know if it is the same intensity as my to my boyfriend. Some people say that you can not love the same person with the same level, but what am i gonna do?
That time I used to accuse myself of INFIDELITY. I knew things were going wrong. I have to choose, I told to myself.. So I broke up with my boyfriend. I did it rather than continue having him while my heart and mind are pushing me to love someone else..
Now, I’m happy.. with this friend whom i fall in love.. My former boyfriend apologized with his loss of time and being busy to his career. And now I think he’s happy too..
If I did not took the risk, will I be able to let myself feel this kind of happiness? I don’t think so.. I know to myself that what I felt is not just a mere attraction or infatuation. If people will juge me of being wrong, then I’ll be able to stand up and say that I did not let myself to be TOO SELFISH.
Let go if you have to.. Yes, either of the two will stay. Do not let them both vanished just because you’re too selfish loving them both at the same time..
bonjour Paolo permettez moi de vous dire que vos ouvrages m’on beaucoup apporté je vous en remercie humblement.
bonjour à toutes et à tous ;à mon humble avis, je pense que l’amour est avant une générosité: aimer est plus fort que d’être aimer. L’amour peut être tronquée, si l’on garde en soi la conviction de notre moi, de notre bonheur. Non il ne faut pas s’accaparer de ce vaste océan l’amour existe certes le seul inconvénient, c’est que l’être moderne a échangé la tradition morale contre la tradition matérialiste. et pourtant cette valeur est l’essence même de la vie, et de dame nature.la mode actuel me fait dire qu’ils ont divisé la terre les êtres en quartiers et le cercle est rompu. pauvre de nous. alain
I’ve been in your position. I did the same thing. But with me things worked the other way around. After breaking with my boyfriend and being with the other guy for a while, I realized what I seeked in him was not what I needed from the man next to me. And this has happened several times. Always coming back to my boyfriend. The first time it was because I was looking for someone cleverer, but he turned out to be too slow in moving on – he was not progressing, let alone that he was too interested in other girls. The second time it was because I thought I needed someone being more strict like me, but it turned out he was not caring enough. The third time i don’t remember what the reason was, but no reasons are needed after all, when it comes to feelings, but this guy was soooo un-respectful to me when he was with me and he was busy working, while before having me he was looking at me right in the eyes, and he would give me all his time… which came to show his good behaviour in the begining was all a play in order to JUST HAVE me, this is not love… So every time my boyfriend turned out to be the better figure. I can say I am grateful to all my other relationships, because they showed me what I actually was looking for, and it turned out to be different to what I thought I needed… They also opened my eyes so I could see clearly and appreciate the person my boyfriend is. And finally they just fulfilled my desire (which obviously i had) for other relationships, as my boyfriend is my highschool sweetheart and my first boyfriend. So now I am finally happy in my relationship with him and grateful to have it and to have him!
About the intensity however… at one point, at least with me, I have loved 2 people at the same time, but in one and the same moment I have always thought I loved one of them better.
So this is my story :)
I believe in Love above all things. It is the reason we exist; the Soul of the Universe has gone through countless ‘experiments’ with the elements and with life to produce us.
We are an example of the Universe becoming conscious of itself. Whatever you believe God to be, it is ruling every aspect of our life, our evolution, and not for any simple reasons.
I believe God (whatever it is) wants to feel Love, and it has done so with eventually coming to a divine experiment which yielded mankind. You can see it in all life, that it strives to feel Love, but we have achieved it. Can God feel Love without us? I don’t think it can, I think it needs us as much as we need it.
To answer the question, it is a tragedy that we refuse as much Love as possible for only one monogamous relationship. If we were truly meant to be with one person, like so many people believe we are, then we would be with our first girlfriend or boyfriend forever. That is the law of this world’s nature; all monogamous creatures follow it – they stick together for life. No divorce, no breaking up, and definitely no trying out as many relationships until they find ‘The One’.
No, mankind is meant to feel as much Love as possible. Think of the benefits of an understanding towards the Triangle of Love.
-The most important benefit is children. You have one family with three or four parents raising their children together. This breeds tolerance, teamwork, well rounded children, and a variety of input to their education. In monogamous relationships, children tend to be raised by their teachers and babysitters. Whereas if you have 3 or 4 parents you will always have one there instead of having one or both parents out working.
-Sexuality is another great meaning of life. Love Triangles should only exist with the consent of all individuals involved, and it is not unnatural for women and men alike to be bisexual; in fact if you look at Bonobo monkeys, their lifestyle and sexual relations with each other are comparable to ours. Two or three women in Love with each other as well as the man (or men) in the relationship is important, and it would greatly reduce infidelity and adultery and allow men to fulfill that insatiable desire to have multiple partners.
A Love Triangle (or square) would work, but it takes education and maintenance, just like any other relationship. Our culture breeds possessive behavior and greed, largely due to the monetary system. I think in the future, and when The Venus Project finally comes to fruition, families with three or four adults will be the norm.
It is the bad publicity when men become greedy and malicious, taking 5 or more wives for themselves, that gives polygamy a bad name.
Our duty to God is to Love without restriction, and in many cases that ‘I met someone else’ wouldn’t be the opening sentence to a break up.
Monkeys also eat their own feces too, i guess we should all do that. I have been hurt numerous times because “greedy” men, which is a pretty high percentile are always looking for something better. There are so many unhappy people in relationships that look for relations outside of the marriage or relationship which cheapens it, they say they are staying together for “the children.” Instead of being honest, breaking up and looking for a compatible partner. I have yet to find that and seriously doubt that i will, because every man i have talked to lately like to play the field, and is told it is ok to do so by our society. by all means, have your threesomes and kinky group sex parties, but please keep it beheind closed doors, it is the same as cheating, if the other partner doesnt know about it.
you are delusional and trying to find reasons for that to seem accepting, someone will always get hurt. hurt helps define love, though, ask any great couple who sustained their life together. i doubt if money causes possesive behavior, trust is the first and most important feeling in any intimate relationship.
My Dearest Paulo :)
I saw the bulletin on myspace about this week’s topic is love triangles.
I always had this question to ask from some special ones: Is it REALLY possible to be in love with two different people at the same time?! Because i had times when i felt like this. Most of the times the answer was something like “I dont think it is possible, because when you are really in love with somebody, you and your body, soul and brain arent able to find somebody else attractive in a physical way.”
Im still not sure. Maybe its possible. But in these times when i found myself loving 2 people at the same time, it was weird that I just couldnt put them into the same (I mean one) sexual fantasie. I just found that strange.
Its interesting to play with this thought. Could the Triangle be LIVEABLE? What do you thing, Paulo? Could it only work if all the 3 people were in love with the other two or just one “chain-person” ? What about jealousy? Will it ever appear in social methods? Im sure it will, anyway.
When i loved 2 different people, i couldt imagine us together. It would be much more easier to tear myself apart and give one part of me to one, and one part to the other. But not the same time at all. Moreover, I could achieve that they haven’t ever met until the day that my relationship was over with one of them! It was maybe two different “Me”-s. I needed (or still..) both of them I felt like I was suffering from skizophrenia.
Hope that my comment is useful :)
Anyway, I really fell in love with YOU while reading The Zahir. I nearly started to attend portuguese lessons, but I was too lazy :P
With all my Love:
Agnes/Cubica (from Hungary)
Dear paulo
I love the man that I married 14 years ago. I love him dearly and hope to spend the rest of my life with him, watching our beautiful children grow up. However…Is he my soul mate? I would like to think so but in reality I have met my soulmate along life’s pathway and it wasn’t the man I choose to call my husband. We both knew in an instant.
Dr Seuss once wrote; ” Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile bacause it happened”.
I fall in love at least three times a year….that’s what happens if you wear your heart on your sleeve!
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile bacause it happened”
Beautiful!!!
That is an amazing thought. If we can only remember to live it.
Agreed, this is such a beautiful quote!
If you don’t mind Cariad, what happened to the ‘Soul Mate’?
I fell for the impossible love; part of me believes he also loved me, but situations were complicated…and I lost! There’s not a day that goes by where I do not think of him, seven years on.
To be free from all expectations and loving someone simply for who they are, not what they have or do…realising that when you are truely loving someone, you are ultimately loving yourself.
Om shanti x
So so funny, all husband jealous of Paulo Coelho. Is very amusing perhaps Paulo can to be a Arabian Jeke. Is a goos idea to have a mind lover is very very creative.
Thank you for yours thougts Neela.
I like mind lover, many woman love Paulo Coelho. Paulo is my mind lover and he is my bed lover, i take him too bed with me everynight and i read him everynight, with my husband next to me he saying i should go marry Paulo because he is everywhere, hahahah I say to him, Ok, and he get more mad. You want to marry me Paulo? then i will have triangel with too husband.
Beautyful, Thanks Sheela
Dear Sheela I like a lot read yours coments and other too. Thank you for express yours Thougths.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJUL1_4hksY
Myślę że w tego typu sytuacjach chodzi o inspirację szukamy sprzeczności, prowokacji, spokoju…. szukamy czegoś co nas rozwija , pozwala spojrzeć na tą samą sytuację z dwóch róznych stron…
od każdego człowieka możemy sie czegoś nauczyć, intrygują i pociągają nas Ci których jeszcze nie znamy, uczymy sie ich zachowań ponajemy ich zapachy, w życiu można zakochać się z tą samą intensywnością nie w jednej ale w kilku osobach…. ponieważ to nas rozwija… poszerza horyzonty nadaje sens naszej egzystencji, która w najbardziej pierwotnych instynkach dąży do porkreacji… to jest właśnie cały sens…
Just would add to the piece below that discernment is the best strategy to be honest with Self telling apart a case of true love, i.e. when we are whole and balanced having an unconditional feeling for another, from an attachment, i.e., being needy. The former does not know thought what “circumstances” means and will not push for choices. It has only one: I Am Happy!
The Journey
We traveled together for eons of times,
And yet when I see you I don’t recognize
In that human body, a new form of yours,
Well hidden bright light of your soul’s universe.
I’ll meet you, and will not accept what I see.
My soul will watch and pretend to agree.
It’ll take me awhile to be playing that game…
Until one day Love comes to blossom again.
I’ll spend no time judging why I was blind.
It’ll take me a moment of standing behind,
Of having my eyes not mislead me by sight,
To see your true beauty so known inside.
That happens for me to remember at last:
The physical body is just form of quest,
A moment of being a human on earth
In search for oneself as the whole universe.
“I am not of the physical body,” repeat.
It worth to remember with heart every beat,
With every deep breath we allow to take:
We are on this planet not suffer, but make.
Our making is truly creation of love.
We are to remember: there is other half
Of non-human nature, of nature of truth
That each of us carries but few not refuse.
When I look at people, I see love and light.
They see a reflection that seems way too bright.
They choose to ignore it and fall into fear.
Attachment replaces then loving what’s dear.
I’m no longer here to do, but to wonder.
My truth is too simple for many to ponder.
I am fully here to be, and to love,
To ground the spirit with physical half.
I live in the present enjoying each moment,
Create, not control, and consult my discernment.
My journey is my choice – of fear or of beauty.
And that what I choose is my life’s single duty.
October 26, 2008
Beautyful. Is the Eternity:“I am not of the physical body,”
Beautiful…thank u
This is a fascinating topic. One that could be discussed continuously for a long time. We as human beings living in this world learn to limit ourselves due to a social message that we get that if you are in a relationship…you should love that person and no other. In reality this isn’t so.
1. We grow constantly, and at any given time we will find people who will fulfill our needs and complement us at any given time in our lives. Most likely we will fall in love with these people. If we outgrow the relationship, we will move on and find someone else and so on and so on.
2. So why is it that two people can’t fulfill our needs at the same time, and we are physically, emotionally and mentally attracted to both? Of course we can. We just have to allow ourselves to do so.
3. The love for the two people could be quite different (still called love) for the people are different and will affect you differently.
4. The more you open yourself up to the possibilities the more they will happen.
5. I have loved many men in my life…(one time two at one time), but love is not a means to an end. It is just an emotion a feeling a drive. At the end we all have a choice of what to do with it and ourselves.
6. This reminds me of Brida…I love Paulo Coelho…he’s like a wizard.
i think it is very possible to love more than one person…in a romantic way..it happend to me…and it happens to thousands of people every day…one loves every person different…we have different feelings for different people…
I agree with your opinion. It is possible to love more than one person. We are human beings after all. Who says when we love, we are acting intelligently?
We need to be loved and love someone who is ready to receive ‘love’. Whether Love is rectangular, triangular, or all angular shapes, it is a great feeling. Love makes one see the day with a nicer colour lenses.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. H. L. Mencken (1880 – 1956)
You can love more than one person at one time. You have to let go of the ownership of the love.
You are, indeed, blessed Ashwini.
I feel embarassed to admit this but i am now in such a triangle..i am in love with a man for two and a half years now..the problem is that he is married..and 25 years older than me..i am 25years old…i thought the feeling would fade, and i wouldn’t feel guilty for the pain i would cause to his wife..i thought it was just a fling and i would experience it and then forget it(his children are 25 and 28 years old, so i didnt think guilty about them)only that i was wrong..the relationship grows stronger every passing day, and i feel in love in a way that i am in pain when we even spend time together, because after a few hours we won’t be together..one.he is my soulmate..his relationship with her is now in “a cold place”..that’s what he says..and that’s what must have been since last year, when he told her that he had some affairs – but not a serious one..he couldn’t stand lying to her, lying to himself and acting in his home as if nothing was happening, when in the contrary, the last year and a half, he had madly fallen in love with someone else..he couldn;t stand seeing his face in the mirror..he couldn;t have sex with her..however, he didn’t tell the whole truth, he believed that she would divorce him..but she didn’t because she loves him..and things got more complicated..the last year he says that he belongs to me, only to me, although in April i found some text messages in his cellphone and i felt i was dying..in the messages he was telling her that he wanted her back..at the same time period, i had thought we were happy,..everything was ok..but i had it all wrong..he told me that he told her those things only to be rejected..and he did it without thinking right..i couldn;t trust him anymore..however we are still together, fighting with our fears and ethics, with our hear and minds..i don;t know where this whole situation is leading..he is like a drug to me..i know that it hurts and i feel more and more vulnerable..weak..there are times when i feel the need to get away from all these, but what will be the void that will follow? every day i am insecure about his changing his mind concerning living with me..i know there would be many problems in the future if we stayed together – age matters..this is what mainly prevents him from making the step forward..i don’t know where all these are leading..i just know that my heart is in pain..sharing your partner is very difficult..there are many nights i haven;t slept, imagining him with her..(of course, the last year they sleep in different beds, but it is natural now that i’m thinking of many scenarios..i’m not in a safe place..).. my sister is the only one i have trusted her with my feelings, because she is one of the few people who don’t judge things depending on the society rules..she just listens and understands the feelings i have for him..
i don’t know why i have written all these..i know that some of you will be very judgemental of me..i am a smart person, i know what people would say..i don;t know what i would say if my sister was the one that would be experiencing all these..i wouldn;t want her to hurt so much..on the other hand, disapproving of her choices wouldn’t support her..i don;t know what is the right way of dealing with a person messing with a triangle..he/she totally needs support..because he/she experiences excruciating pain..
I understans u totally.. im in that kind of situation, the difference is that i have a partner and the man im seeing has a wife and children that he cant leave. we both cant stop see eachother, i just melt when i see him and i feel addicted to him as you are saying about your man. no one should judge you or me because its easier than you think and nothing is black or white. it is possible to love two peolpe at the same time, it is in my case… i do wish that it was easier but it isnt. you just need to find a way to be happy, maybe its better to leave, it is for me… good luck
love triangle can happen to anyone…that happened to me few years ago,i had to chose….did i chose the right,i dont know.sometimes that makes you sad and confused,but that is life…
Thats not life…
yes what u just said i really happening and now im facing that problem cause the man that i love now is already has a girlfriend and i feel sorry to myself…..
According to the Principle of Contradiction (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle) it is not possible for a thing to be and not to be at the same time under the same aspect: “It’s not possible that in the exact same moment it rains and doesn’t rain (in the same place).”
In my opinion this Principle can be extended to the emotional state of a person’s mind meaning that it is not possible to love 2 or more people with the same intensity in the same moment (unless maybe you find yourself in a state of trance or full conscious awareness as in meditation or prayer). It will always require a moment of choice between the people involved because neither I nor any other party involved can devote all their love and attention equally to several people at the same time. So each person must decide to whom they devote their attention and love in a certain time and thus neglect somebody else.
Therefore, in my opinion, no enduring happy triangle or square romantic constellation is possible. Personally, I would imagine putting myself in a constant conflict with my own inner self since I would never want to make anyone whom I claim “to love” feel unhappy, unsatisfied or neglected. Love also means respect as well as responsibility towards another person’s emotions and also to put my own demands last at times… otherwise it’s more self-love than romantic love towards another being.
Like to read your comment. It connects with what is there for me concerning the topic of that discussion. And you know, at the present moment, the stories of the Bible comes to my mind and if I can recollect well, all the stories reported where there was a man and two wowen involved, it was not an easy situation. But again, experiments are necessary to unveil the true self, to learn, etc … With affection, Jojo
I don’t think he meant loving 2 people “the same amount at the the same exact second”. I think it’s a more general idea or loving two people at the same moment in your life.
Dear Sabine
What the Principle of contradiction states is that contradictory statements cannot both be at the same time true, e.g. the two propositions A is B and A is not B are mutually exclusive.
You cannot apply the principle of contradiction to the subject in discussion, because what it says is that, you cannot be in love and not be in love with somebody (the same person) at the same time, because the two propositions are mutually exclusive. As you can see that has nothing to do with the subject in discussion that is being in love with two different people at the same time.
With affection
Aileen
Aileen
how simple is to love two people. how about the children? do you choose who to love more or less? or loving your mother and your child? the same might happen with your partners. so yes i think you can love more than one person equally strong…
I know that it is possible “to love” more than 1 person at a time (friends, family, etc) but personally, I think I could only find myself “to be in love” with 1 person at a time, sharing with that person physical and spiritual affection. It might happen that for what ever reason this “being in love” changes into something different over time, but then it would also change in intensity, i think.
its not always that easy, if u havent been there you cant tell
I love ur comment and i think it is true
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