Comments on: The Triangle http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/ updated on Monday, Wednesday, Friday Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:33:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Lost http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-805223 Lost Mon, 02 Jan 2012 22:59:18 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-805223 More than a year since this first post and so much has changed and so much changed the same. The lover in this situation is still a major part of my life. He is also engaged and expecting a baby. I am still with my husband and battle to find fulfillment with the marriage yet too scared to leave. Wish i could just be happy in love again! More than a year since this first post and so much has changed and so much changed the same. The lover in this situation is still a major part of my life. He is also engaged and expecting a baby. I am still with my husband and battle to find fulfillment with the marriage yet too scared to leave. Wish i could just be happy in love again!

]]> By: Aishwarya http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-736070 Aishwarya Wed, 10 Aug 2011 04:42:28 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-736070 I too am in agreement. Our decisions are ours to make make, especially so in case of betrayal. Our actions our responsibility. Every time we indulges in OUR likes, wishes, dreams or desires we mostly end up hurting one person or the other. Your husband is your security net here; you used the word safe in relation to him too. Be true to your husband if you truly respect him. How can one keep another on hold and carry on with their selfish desires. Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. If you are hurt by your lover seeing someone else, just spare a thought on how your husband must be feeling. "why did he feel the need to move on instead of standing by me till I found a way"...answer why would you not stand by your husband when he was making all efforts... "How can he want to love someone else and still hold on to this?∙"..the answer is same way as you can.. I do apologize if my words hurt you...I too am one who was betrayed ...I was making the effort when he carried on just as nothing had happened. Happiness at the cost of consciously hurting someone is not worth it. I too am in agreement. Our decisions are ours to make make, especially so in case of betrayal. Our actions our responsibility. Every time we indulges in OUR likes, wishes, dreams or desires we mostly end up hurting one person or the other.

Your husband is your security net here; you used the word safe in relation to him too. Be true to your husband if you truly respect him.

How can one keep another on hold and carry on with their selfish desires. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.

If you are hurt by your lover seeing someone else, just spare a thought on how your husband must be feeling.

“why did he feel the need to move on instead of standing by me till I found a way”…answer why would you not stand by your husband when he was making all efforts…

“How can he want to love someone else and still hold on to this?∙”..the answer is same way as you can..

I do apologize if my words hurt you…I too am one who was betrayed …I was making the effort when he carried on just as nothing had happened. Happiness at the cost of consciously hurting someone is not worth it.

]]> By: kajal unadkat http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-735887 kajal unadkat Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:43:10 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-735887 willy, it just happens. u had the opportunity to meet two soulmates in one lifetime. accept it, and respect ur decision. willy,
it just happens. u had the opportunity to meet two soulmates in one lifetime. accept it, and respect ur decision.

]]> By: Willy http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-698965 Willy Mon, 09 May 2011 04:57:52 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-698965 I remember being a very good young man. I was enjoying all my classes, praying, meditating, determined, passionate, intelligent. And I was all planning and getting ready for one of my dreams to come true: to travel to the island of Cuba. It had been my dream since I was 15. I was 20 when i was, like a Divine Grace, given the opportunity to go. The trip itself was out of this world. If anyone knows what it's like to have a dream come true, this was my 5 year long dream. I was feeling confident, excited, determined, on a personal mission to save the world. i had my life planned out already. I knew the direction my heart and mind were leading me. My heart, mind, and body, and spirti, and universe were all set on my taking a trip to Cuba. But before I went, as if of another divine grace, I met a young woman whom i fell tremendously in love with. I fell in love with this girl. or did i? something in my gut told me that i shouldn't meet this girl. it was her attitude...her almost "i'm in love with myself" attitude that threw me off. so i almost blew it off. however, i started seeing signs all over the place. the first letter of her name was M while mine was W. she perceived things almost exactly the same way i did. she would claims things that she thought were original of her own thinking, and realized that i had had the same experience. talking to her and listening to her jokes and memories was like talking to myself. all of a sudden there were signs all over the place that led me to her. you know what i mean? like signs within my own home that would remind me of her. it was as if the universe were telling me....willy, this is the girl. the girl that you've been waiting to meet. the universe was telling me. the sings were all over the place. still i kept a doubt in my mind. actually, i personally dedicated my entire thought and heart to her. what happened was that i had to go on my trip to Cuba. and she told me to keep in touch with her. i automatically took that as the entrance to her heart. and the whole time i was in cuba i dedicated myself to her and would write to her constantly. weird? in cuba, the signs kept repeating themselves. sing after sign after sign after sign. is this the girl? i thought. this has to be the girl. the universe is telling me it's her. i can feel it. what happened was that...while i was in cuba, one of the girl in the group that i was in fell in love with me. and it was so weird because i never expressed any interest in her. she fell in love with me so hard and i avoided her so hard to the point where i began to see myself in her. but i saw everything i hated about myself in her. and i saw someone that i used to be and i wasn't anymore in her. i saw the old me in her. she reminded me of myself so much that i began to fall in love with her. i wanted nothing but to be at her service and heal her. she suffered from a lack of self love and all i wanted to do was just heal her. i wanted to teach her about everything that she lacked. she was all the opposite of me. she was rich, rude, selfish, determined, powerful, she knew what she wanted, impatient, fiery, strong. but at the same time, very insecure, and very dark, and weak. and i perceived all that in her. and i knew she would perceive all of the same things in me. she was a scorpio. with her powerful eyes she perceived even the smallest details in me that she knew she could pick at. she would tell me things about myself before i could even realize them. i hated everything about her. most of all her ignorance and her selfishness in acting in such ignorance. i swear that i could see her sould and she could see mine. my mistake lied in that i never sat down with her and talked to her about the things i knew she needed to be talked about. i completely refused her love in a negative way and so she would fight back with vengeance. she would hit me. i knew that she was hurting and all she needed was a guy to tell her that she was beautiful. but for me to be able to heal her, i would've had to love her. but i loved the girl back at home. whom i kept in touch with through the internet. the universe was telling me that the girl back at home was the one, but at the same time, it presented to me the challenge of healing another one. were these two girls my soulmates? i saw myself perfectly, according to my intellect, according to my spirit, with each one. by the time i came back from cuba my soul had been torn apart. i didn't know who i loved anymore. and thus, i started hating myself for even picking between the two girls. i hated myself. for having made bad decisions. since then i lost the ability to raed the universe and my life has appeared as something dark and with no light. i realize that i've got to respect myself. i got to love myself again. but neither of the girls knows about the other. what do i do? I remember being a very good young man. I was enjoying all my classes, praying, meditating, determined, passionate, intelligent. And I was all planning and getting ready for one of my dreams to come true: to travel to the island of Cuba. It had been my dream since I was 15. I was 20 when i was, like a Divine Grace, given the opportunity to go. The trip itself was out of this world. If anyone knows what it’s like to have a dream come true, this was my 5 year long dream.
I was feeling confident, excited, determined, on a personal mission to save the world. i had my life planned out already. I knew the direction my heart and mind were leading me. My heart, mind, and body, and spirti, and universe were all set on my taking a trip to Cuba.
But before I went, as if of another divine grace, I met a young woman whom i fell tremendously in love with. I fell in love with this girl. or did i? something in my gut told me that i shouldn’t meet this girl. it was her attitude…her almost “i’m in love with myself” attitude that threw me off. so i almost blew it off.
however, i started seeing signs all over the place. the first letter of her name was M while mine was W. she perceived things almost exactly the same way i did. she would claims things that she thought were original of her own thinking, and realized that i had had the same experience. talking to her and listening to her jokes and memories was like talking to myself. all of a sudden there were signs all over the place that led me to her. you know what i mean? like signs within my own home that would remind me of her. it was as if the universe were telling me….willy, this is the girl. the girl that you’ve been waiting to meet. the universe was telling me. the sings were all over the place. still i kept a doubt in my mind.
actually, i personally dedicated my entire thought and heart to her.
what happened was that i had to go on my trip to Cuba. and she told me to keep in touch with her. i automatically took that as the entrance to her heart. and the whole time i was in cuba i dedicated myself to her and would write to her constantly.
weird? in cuba, the signs kept repeating themselves. sing after sign after sign after sign. is this the girl? i thought. this has to be the girl. the universe is telling me it’s her. i can feel it.
what happened was that…while i was in cuba, one of the girl in the group that i was in fell in love with me. and it was so weird because i never expressed any interest in her.
she fell in love with me so hard and i avoided her so hard to the point where i began to see myself in her. but i saw everything i hated about myself in her. and i saw someone that i used to be and i wasn’t anymore in her.
i saw the old me in her. she reminded me of myself so much that i began to fall in love with her. i wanted nothing but to be at her service and heal her. she suffered from a lack of self love and all i wanted to do was just heal her. i wanted to teach her about everything that she lacked. she was all the opposite of me. she was rich, rude, selfish, determined, powerful, she knew what she wanted, impatient, fiery, strong. but at the same time, very insecure, and very dark, and weak. and i perceived all that in her.
and i knew she would perceive all of the same things in me. she was a scorpio. with her powerful eyes she perceived even the smallest details in me that she knew she could pick at. she would tell me things about myself before i could even realize them. i hated everything about her. most of all her ignorance and her selfishness in acting in such ignorance. i swear that i could see her sould and she could see mine.
my mistake lied in that i never sat down with her and talked to her about the things i knew she needed to be talked about.
i completely refused her love in a negative way and so she would fight back with vengeance. she would hit me. i knew that she was hurting and all she needed was a guy to tell her that she was beautiful. but for me to be able to heal her, i would’ve had to love her.
but i loved the girl back at home. whom i kept in touch with through the internet. the universe was telling me that the girl back at home was the one, but at the same time, it presented to me the challenge of healing another one.
were these two girls my soulmates? i saw myself perfectly, according to my intellect, according to my spirit, with each one.
by the time i came back from cuba my soul had been torn apart. i didn’t know who i loved anymore. and thus, i started hating myself for even picking between the two girls. i hated myself. for having made bad decisions.
since then i lost the ability to raed the universe and my life has appeared as something dark and with no light.
i realize that i’ve got to respect myself. i got to love myself again. but neither of the girls knows about the other.
what do i do?

]]> By: mathi http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-697674 mathi Fri, 06 May 2011 18:48:14 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-697674 Dont be carried away by the word called "Dream" or Dream guy. I dont know in which context u meant so... let it be anything...They seem to be big because it is your dream, but when u r in a relationship u will get to know the reality. My suggestion would be better go with your first love. First is always the best...in anyones life ... Dont be carried away by the word called “Dream” or Dream guy. I dont know in which context u meant so… let it be anything…They seem to be big because it is your dream, but when u r in a relationship u will get to know the reality. My suggestion would be better go with your first love. First is always the best…in anyones life …

]]> By: catherine http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-681008 catherine Wed, 06 Apr 2011 01:00:34 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-681008 Thank you Chloe. I know exactly how you feel. I love too. And it too sometimes just tears me apart; some days are easier, some days not so much. On those days I just can't take it, and I want nothing more than come knocking on his door just to see him. But then I think about his family, and I couldn't do it for as much as I love him. And I can just hold onto all those small moments, those intense dreams, the way he looked at me, and then I always feel okay. I know I simply just love. Thank you Chloe.
I know exactly how you feel. I love too. And it too sometimes just tears me apart; some days are easier, some days not so much. On those days I just can’t take it, and I want nothing more than come knocking on his door just to see him.
But then I think about his family, and I couldn’t do it for as much as I love him. And I can just hold onto all those small moments, those intense dreams, the way he looked at me, and then I always feel okay.
I know I simply just love.

]]> By: Chloe http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-676202 Chloe Sun, 27 Mar 2011 15:19:41 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-676202 Five years ago, I had a job interview for the position of Head Gardener at a private golf course. I will never forget that day. I am the kind of person who falls in love easily and often, but when I walked into the office and saw him sitting there my heart stopped. The first year I worked for him I was filled with fire, I had never in my life met someone who could make me so angry. I would have dreams about him all the time, but I could never speak to him unless it was work related and even then it was usually because I was angry with him or disagreed with a decision he had made. We were both in relationships with other people at the time. I would dream about him every night and couldn't even look him in the eye during the day. Time passed,and my dreams of him grew in their intensity and one day something happened. All that tention broke, like water breeching a dam, and we became lovers. He told me he didn't want his "situation" to change that he could never leave "her" and that this was for "fun" and I responded with "whatever you want..." I left the man I had been living with, while he stayed with her. I never asked him to leave her for me, never declared my undying love to him. When he told me a year later that he loved me, I just smiled and didn't respond. It was the happiest year of my life thus far, I relished in the freedom of loving this man without possessing him. A year after our affair had begun he told me that he couldnt do this anymore and that he wanted to be a "good" person, he wanted to be faithful to her. I was devestated and heartbroken and I was PREGNANT with his child and so it happened that I lost my lover, I lost my job, ...he gave me several thousand dollars and begged me to leave town...so I lost my home too. I took his money and took the train with my dog and went 4000 miles away on a journey hoping that the distance would somehow lessen my pain. It didn't. When I came back I wondered how I could possibly bring a child into this world who was not wanted by his father. I had travelled over 10,000 miles and shed a million more tears but still could not answer any of my questions. Through all of this we had stayed in touch with each other and when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, I saw him again. Since then we have spoken nearly every day. He went from being a fierce lover to my best friend despite the fact he still can't bare the thought of anyone knowing that he is my son's father and begs me to keep it a secret telling me he would die if "she" ever got hurt. A couple of months ago, he begged me to be his lover "one last time"...well it wasn't one last time. Here I am today I am raising our son alone, he's only ever held him twice...my heart overflows with emotion when I look at my beautiful baby boy who looks just like his father and it breaks when I think off all the secrets that his existance has created. But I love and I love and I love, and sometimes it's enough just to love someone without trying to possess them and sometimes it's not enough and I feel so incredibly alone. He tells me all the time to find someone else and that I should have someone to have a family with who will love me and be faithful. I tell him that I am very happy and my life is not lacking in love. I love our son, I love my family, I love my friends and my dog, I love my life...but most important of all? I love myself. Five years ago, I had a job interview for the position of Head Gardener at a private golf course. I will never forget that day. I am the kind of person who falls in love easily and often, but when I walked into the office and saw him sitting there my heart stopped. The first year I worked for him I was filled with fire, I had never in my life met someone who could make me so angry. I would have dreams about him all the time, but I could never speak to him unless it was work related and even then it was usually because I was angry with him or disagreed with a decision he had made.

We were both in relationships with other people at the time. I would dream about him every night and couldn’t even look him in the eye during the day. Time passed,and my dreams of him grew in their intensity and one day something happened. All that tention broke, like water breeching a dam, and we became lovers. He told me he didn’t want his “situation” to change that he could never leave “her” and that this was for “fun” and I responded with “whatever you want…”

I left the man I had been living with, while he stayed with her. I never asked him to leave her for me, never declared my undying love to him. When he told me a year later that he loved me, I just smiled and didn’t respond. It was the happiest year of my life thus far, I relished in the freedom of loving this man without possessing him.

A year after our affair had begun he told me that he couldnt do this anymore and that he wanted to be a “good” person, he wanted to be faithful to her. I was devestated and heartbroken and I was PREGNANT with his child and so it happened that I lost my lover, I lost my job, …he gave me several thousand dollars and begged me to leave town…so I lost my home too.

I took his money and took the train with my dog and went 4000 miles away on a journey hoping that the distance would somehow lessen my pain. It didn’t. When I came back I wondered how I could possibly bring a child into this world who was not wanted by his father. I had travelled over 10,000 miles and shed a million more tears but still could not answer any of my questions.

Through all of this we had stayed in touch with each other and when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant, I saw him again. Since then we have spoken nearly every day. He went from being a fierce lover to my best friend despite the fact he still can’t bare the thought of anyone knowing that he is my son’s father and begs me to keep it a secret telling me he would die if “she” ever got hurt.

A couple of months ago, he begged me to be his lover “one last time”…well it wasn’t one last time. Here I am today
I am raising our son alone, he’s only ever held him twice…my heart overflows with emotion when I look at my beautiful baby boy who looks just like his father and it breaks when I think off all the secrets that his existance has created.

But I love and I love and I love, and sometimes it’s enough just to love someone without trying to possess them and sometimes it’s not enough and I feel so incredibly alone. He tells me all the time to find someone else and that I should have someone to have a family with who will love me and be faithful.

I tell him that I am very happy and my life is not lacking in love. I love our son, I love my family, I love my friends and my dog, I love my life…but most important of all? I love myself.

]]> By: fer http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-674557 fer Thu, 24 Mar 2011 16:44:28 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-674557 No creo que se deba confundir amor con pasión, o no sé exactamente donde empieza lo uno y acaba lo otro. Lo cierto es que la tal coneccion espiritual no siempre es pura, siento que se disfraza con esas palabras de conección espiritual cuando en realidad lo que existe es pasión, ganas del cuerpo, del olor de la otra persona, de la forma de hacer el amor, de todo lo que encierra una relación que va deteriorandose con el tiempo y los egoismos personales, el no querer ver mas allá, el no hacer caso a los gritos de auxilio que la otra persona (hombre o mujer) nos dan cuando ya algo no está bien, cuando se llega a los límites, cuando ya no es posible seguir amando solo o sola, renunciando a loq ue uno ansia y espera, a lo que tantas veces nos piden o pedimos, y puffff!!!! de golpe y por cuestiones de la vida y el azar llega una nueva ilusión alguien que en cada etapa de la vida te enseñará algo, y necesariamente no tiene porque haber sexo, a la final personalmente creo que si puedes necesitar de otra persona en una relación pero para que te escuche y ser escuchado, pero las ganas se quedan con la persona que amas de verdad porque no se puede amar a dos personas a la vez. Por lo menos así lo siento yo, a la una se la ama y a la otra se la quiere, cn quien tienes más ganas de envejecer, con quien quieres vivir, con quien desearías morir tomado de la mano, por quien eere4s capaz de dar hasta tu vida, a quien nunca le dirás que no cuando quiera hacer el amor, por quien harías cualquier cosa, quien te enseña cosas sin pedirte que cambies para el o para ella?....... y así habrá infinidad de cuestionamientos pero el verdadero amor solo es uno el otro llámalo como quieras pero no es amor es pasión y eso siempre disminuye, acaba, desaparece, se duerme, y hasta se acaba..... No creo que se deba confundir amor con pasión, o no sé exactamente donde empieza lo uno y acaba lo otro. Lo cierto es que la tal coneccion espiritual no siempre es pura, siento que se disfraza con esas palabras de conección espiritual cuando en realidad lo que existe es pasión, ganas del cuerpo, del olor de la otra persona, de la forma de hacer el amor, de todo lo que encierra una relación que va deteriorandose con el tiempo y los egoismos personales, el no querer ver mas allá, el no hacer caso a los gritos de auxilio que la otra persona (hombre o mujer) nos dan cuando ya algo no está bien, cuando se llega a los límites, cuando ya no es posible seguir amando solo o sola, renunciando a loq ue uno ansia y espera, a lo que tantas veces nos piden o pedimos, y puffff!!!! de golpe y por cuestiones de la vida y el azar llega una nueva ilusión alguien que en cada etapa de la vida te enseñará algo, y necesariamente no tiene porque haber sexo, a la final personalmente creo que si puedes necesitar de otra persona en una relación pero para que te escuche y ser escuchado, pero las ganas se quedan con la persona que amas de verdad porque no se puede amar a dos personas a la vez. Por lo menos así lo siento yo, a la una se la ama y a la otra se la quiere, cn quien tienes más ganas de envejecer, con quien quieres vivir, con quien desearías morir tomado de la mano, por quien eere4s capaz de dar hasta tu vida, a quien nunca le dirás que no cuando quiera hacer el amor, por quien harías cualquier cosa, quien te enseña cosas sin pedirte que cambies para el o para ella?……. y así habrá infinidad de cuestionamientos pero el verdadero amor solo es uno el otro llámalo como quieras pero no es amor es pasión y eso siempre disminuye, acaba, desaparece, se duerme, y hasta se acaba…..

]]> By: sandy http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-670974 sandy Thu, 17 Mar 2011 09:28:09 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-670974 @ Betrayed i am in agreement with you. We are totally responsible for our acts by not accepting the conscious decision to betray / to get volume in the relationship.. @ Betrayed i am in agreement with you. We are totally responsible for our acts by not accepting the conscious decision to betray / to get volume in the relationship..

]]> By: Betrayed http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-663367 Betrayed Sat, 05 Mar 2011 23:29:32 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-663367 If you have so much desire for this other man, why aren't you fair to your husband, tell him, and go and be with your lover? We all are totally responsible for our own actions. Nobody can make us to cheat. I don't understand how people cheat, and when the truth comes up they have million reasons why did they do it...but it always involves "the betrayed spouse"..."You were too busy, paid too little attention to me, not made love to me, or not made love to me 'the right way'...." ...."YOU, YOU, YOU...." How about owning your actions "Yes, I consciously made the decision to get involved with someone else, and I didn't care if I hurt you....despite the fact I knew it's wrong, because I would be hurt if you'd do the same thing to me...".... As you can tell, I am in the similar situation with my husband, only I'm the betrayed....and tired of the same excuses.... At least be fair to yourself and don't waste the money on a therapy if you're not willing to really work on your marriage anyway. That's my advice. If you have so much desire for this other man, why aren’t you fair to your husband, tell him, and go and be with your lover? We all are totally responsible for our own actions. Nobody can make us to cheat. I don’t understand how people cheat, and when the truth comes up they have million reasons why did they do it…but it always involves “the betrayed spouse”…”You were too busy, paid too little attention to me, not made love to me, or not made love to me ‘the right way’….” ….”YOU, YOU, YOU….” How about owning your actions “Yes, I consciously made the decision to get involved with someone else, and I didn’t care if I hurt you….despite the fact I knew it’s wrong, because I would be hurt if you’d do the same thing to me…”….
As you can tell, I am in the similar situation with my husband, only I’m the betrayed….and tired of the same excuses….
At least be fair to yourself and don’t waste the money on a therapy if you’re not willing to really work on your marriage anyway. That’s my advice.

]]> By: just a woman http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-650664 just a woman Tue, 08 Feb 2011 07:23:30 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-650664 Hi there, I just got only now to these comments maybe because I'm trying to find answers to my own situation already for 4 years. If I can divide the roles between people in your story, so I'll be a wife in that triangle. So I can share my experience and suffering with you, the lover party in this triangle. I can tell you that probably the guy loves you in some way but at the same time he still has feelings for his wife as he didn't leave her despite your pressure and probably his wife is not aware about you or maybe they have little kids. But think about this: even if he leaves his wife-you can not build up happiness on other's unhappiness. Hi there, I just got only now to these comments maybe because I’m trying to find answers to my own situation already for 4 years. If I can divide the roles between people in your story, so I’ll be a wife in that triangle. So I can share my experience and suffering with you, the lover party in this triangle. I can tell you that probably the guy loves you in some way but at the same time he still has feelings for his wife as he didn’t leave her despite your pressure and probably his wife is not aware about you or maybe they have little kids. But think about this: even if he leaves his wife-you can not build up happiness on other’s unhappiness.

]]> By: Mariana http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-635018 Mariana Fri, 14 Jan 2011 02:34:33 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-635018 I understand what you are talking about and know how you feel and what you are going thru. I understand what you are talking about and know how you feel and what you are going thru.

]]> By: Ralph http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-632234 Ralph Sat, 08 Jan 2011 18:37:08 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-632234 thanks again Marie =) thanks again Marie =)

]]> By: Marie-Christine http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-626043 Marie-Christine Thu, 30 Dec 2010 08:21:00 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-626043 "La plus profonde emotion que nous pouvons experimenter est l'emotion du mystique. C'est la force de toutes les sciences." Albert Einstein "The deepest emotion we can experience is the mystic one. It is the might of all sciences." Albert Einstein “La plus profonde emotion que nous pouvons experimenter est l’emotion du mystique. C’est la force de toutes les sciences.” Albert Einstein

“The deepest emotion we can experience is the mystic one. It is the might of all sciences.” Albert Einstein

]]> By: Ralph http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-625952 Ralph Thu, 30 Dec 2010 02:17:55 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-625952 Thanks Marie for taking time and reading my post :) Happy New Year also! Ralph Thanks Marie for taking time and reading my post :)

Happy New Year also!

Ralph

]]> By: Marie-Christine http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-625810 Marie-Christine Wed, 29 Dec 2010 18:28:48 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-625810 I don't have experience either Ralph, how can you explain the unexplainable -love is, that's it - it is a mystery, part of life.I see it as a meeting of souls, a spiritual connection. "Where does commitment come in when it comes to love?" com mit ment. Maybe it is the spiritual experience that counts. It is in the "O Aleph", in the beyond. It is free and has no boundaries. That's how I see it. Wishing you a fabulous New Year Ralph. With Love Marie-Christine I don’t have experience either Ralph, how can you explain the unexplainable -love is, that’s it – it is a mystery, part of life.I see it as a meeting of souls, a spiritual connection.
“Where does commitment come in when it comes to love?” com mit ment.
Maybe it is the spiritual experience that counts.
It is in the “O Aleph”, in the beyond.
It is free and has no boundaries.
That’s how I see it.
Wishing you a fabulous New Year Ralph.
With Love
Marie-Christine

]]> By: Ralph http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-625757 Ralph Wed, 29 Dec 2010 14:49:36 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-625757 as said by Paulo "love has no rules", i guess the beauty and madness about love is that it is not bound by right or wrong.. as said by Paulo “love has no rules”, i guess the beauty and madness about love is that it is not bound by right or wrong..

]]> By: Brazilian woman http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-624447 Brazilian woman Sun, 26 Dec 2010 21:08:55 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-624447 I am in a triangle love for two years now...This guy was my ex boss when we started this... After a year together i started to make pressure on him to lefth his wife... As it didn´t work... I asked to the company to bring me back to the city i was living before i know him... When the day to leave him came...we both had too much tension between us...and we even didn´t say good bye to each other... After two months without any contact we started to talk to each other on the phone again... And after eight months we got apart...we started to spend one weekend per month together in some city. When we are toghether things seems to be so deeply between us...we feel passion and totally in love... But when the reality and he got back to his wife i have all kinds of feelings into myself( i feel angry, love, irritation, pitty). Sometimes, I believe in his feelings. Specialy when he is with me...but sometimes i think he is so weak and he has no true love about me. Why even thought this situation is so frustated and painfull we both can´t live without it? PS:Forgive me if i made mistakes in this write I am a Brazilian woman and my original language is Portuguese... I am in a triangle love for two years now…This guy was my ex boss when we started this…
After a year together i started to make pressure on him to lefth his wife…
As it didn´t work…
I asked to the company to bring me back to the city i was living before i know him…
When the day to leave him came…we both had too much tension between us…and we even didn´t say good bye to each other…
After two months without any contact we started to talk to each other on the phone again…
And after eight months we got apart…we started to spend one weekend per month together in some city.
When we are toghether things seems to be so deeply between us…we feel passion and totally in love…
But when the reality and he got back to his wife i have all kinds of feelings into myself( i feel angry, love, irritation, pitty).
Sometimes, I believe in his feelings.
Specialy when he is with me…but sometimes i think he is so weak and he has no true love about me.
Why even thought this situation is so frustated and painfull we both can´t live without it?
PS:Forgive me if i made mistakes in this write I am a Brazilian woman and my original language is Portuguese…

]]> By: Ralph http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-620863 Ralph Sat, 18 Dec 2010 08:27:20 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-620863 Hi, I have re-read your post just now and i feel in your writing your frustration in the situation you're in. How are you now? Do you still miss the other guy? If you do, what about your husband? do you still feel the same for him? Sorry for asking so many questions. Its just that, some how there is also some feelings of regret for not choosing the other guy over your husband from your post. If that really is the case, then the answer is already staring you in the eye. Everybody deserves to be loved and be happy, and we can only achieve this if we embrace the truth. I hope you find what you're looking for. I wish you contentment and peace of mind. Ralph Hi,

I have re-read your post just now and i feel in your writing your frustration in the situation you’re in.

How are you now?

Do you still miss the other guy? If you do, what about your husband? do you still feel the same for him? Sorry for asking so many questions. Its just that, some how there is also some feelings of regret for not choosing the other guy over your husband from your post.

If that really is the case, then the answer is already staring you in the eye. Everybody deserves to be loved and be happy, and we can only achieve this if we embrace the truth.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

I wish you contentment and peace of mind.

Ralph

]]> By: Ralph http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-12/#comment-614086 Ralph Sun, 05 Dec 2010 09:33:23 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-614086 Hi Paulo, I have no experience to share, I only have questions, I hope someone can enlighten me. Is love bound by right and wrong? is there such a thing as "right love" or "wrong love"? When you love two persons, does it mean that the other lacks something that you are looking for and vice-versa? does this also mean you are not contended with either of them that's why you love them both? What causes someone to love two persons at the same time? where does commitment come in when it comes to love? I still have other questions, but these are at the top of my head. Thank you in advance. Ralph Hi Paulo,

I have no experience to share, I only have questions, I hope someone can enlighten me.

Is love bound by right and wrong? is there such a thing as “right love” or “wrong love”?

When you love two persons, does it mean that the other lacks something that you are looking for and vice-versa? does this also mean you are not contended with either of them that’s why you love them both?

What causes someone to love two persons at the same time?

where does commitment come in when it comes to love?

I still have other questions, but these are at the top of my head.

Thank you in advance.

Ralph

]]> By: Kat Ng http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-610246 Kat Ng Fri, 26 Nov 2010 16:47:06 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-610246 There was a story that a husband found the same problem as mention. He seeked the help from the monk. The monk led him to a room with a few lit candles lining up on the desk. The monk asked him to be seated. Then he pulled a candle out from others and put in front of the man. The monk asked,"which candle looks brighter?" The man answered "The one that are in front of me." Then the man put back the candle, and ask "How about now?" There was a story that a husband found the same problem as mention. He seeked the help from the monk.
The monk led him to a room with a few lit candles lining up on the desk. The monk asked him to be seated.

Then he pulled a candle out from others and put in front of the man. The monk asked,”which candle looks brighter?”

The man answered “The one that are in front of me.”

Then the man put back the candle, and ask “How about now?”

]]> By: Adriana http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-584722 Adriana Tue, 28 Sep 2010 03:51:59 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-584722 Believe me, I fully understand you. I have nothing to say but the fact that those questions you have about your husband being good to you also haunted me for a while. True love doesn't have anything to do with what you have to pay back when you have received a lot. If you love truly you give and expect nothing in return. Do not fear, if you trust God will grant you your soulmate. I really believe there is more than one of those. Pain can elevate your spirit to the extent that you will only rejoice at the memory of him in case he is not the one to stay with you forever. Love Believe me, I fully understand you. I have nothing to say but the fact that those questions you have about your husband being good to you also haunted me for a while. True love doesn’t have anything to do with what you have to pay back when you have received a lot. If you love truly you give and expect nothing in return. Do not fear, if you trust God will grant you your soulmate. I really believe there is more than one of those. Pain can elevate your spirit to the extent that you will only rejoice at the memory of him in case he is not the one to stay with you forever.
Love

]]> By: Seagull http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-584601 Seagull Mon, 27 Sep 2010 19:04:08 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-584601 Why is it that I am not fulfilled by my husband who has only being good to me? Can I learn to be fulfilled by my marriage?∙ Believe my dear, you are not alone with this issue. I excactly can understand your question. Every day I face with it. My situation is the same as yours. Already we (my husband and me) have gone throught a therapy, it was helpfull but I still so inlove of another man. Nothing has changed on me, everyday I miss that guy and wonder to spend with him my life. Why is it that I am not fulfilled by my husband who has only being good to me? Can I learn to be fulfilled by my marriage?∙
Believe my dear, you are not alone with this issue.
I excactly can understand your question. Every day I face with it. My situation is the same as yours. Already we (my husband and me) have gone throught a therapy, it was helpfull but I still so inlove of another man. Nothing has changed on me, everyday I miss that guy and wonder to spend with him my life.

]]> By: Lost http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-584561 Lost Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:14:45 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-584561 I am so glad that I read this forum. Thought that I was all alone with this craziness that I have been going through.I have been with someone for over 10 years now, married for 4 years.  Life was supposed to be simple , get married, build lives, have children and live happily ever after. But then I developed a very deep relationship with someone I worked with and we connected on an emotional and physical level. It was very strange for us that we had, there were so many factors that should have stopped us -work, race, age and he was also married.  Together we realized a true love that changed both our lives and made us believe that there was more to love than we had both experienced thus far.  Needless to say my relationship with my husband dwindled for me as I was experiencing emotions on such a high level that required such little effort whereas my marriage seemed to be something that I constantly had to work on feeling.  This second person forced me to relook at my life, reassess my worth and opened a desire to just experience life more. It felt like we were soulmates and we even called it this. Even though we daydreamed about what our lives would be like together we never made commitment to each other that we would leave our marriages to pursue this life together. He decided to divorce at the beginning of the year, his wife had also found a relationship outside her marriage and so his decision was somewhat easier.  As days went on conversations of whether I would ever leave my marriage came up and I wanted to but for me it wasn’t as easy. I could never really fault my husband for my dissatisfaction in our marriage not to mention that our relationship is tied by family and cultural bonds.  Abandoning my husband, hurting him, our families and disgracing my family were all things that I dreaded to face and the second person kept asking if our love was not enough to face it all (Does that mean that it wasn’t enough?).  Anyway when I couldn’t give him any definite answers we decided that we should end the relationship as it was at that point, I was stopping him from moving on with his life and the situation was becoming pressurized.  Since then he has started dating someone else and seeing him develop a new relationship has being the most hurtful thing that I have had to experience. Now I ask myself whether our love was not enough for him?  Even with me staying in my marriage and he moving on we still continue to hold on to our relationship which is now tainted with so much hurt.I have spoken to my husband about the way that I feel about our marriage and he tries very hard to make it work.  He is an amazing person, he is loving, caring, considerate, supportive, reliable and in this most emotional time of my life he makes me feel really safe and I love him for all those qualities but I somehow it never feels enough I often question how I am going to live the rest of my life with him if this Is how I feelSo I guess the questions that I am faced with right now are∙         Why is it that I am not fulfilled by my husband who has only being good to me?  Can I learn to be fulfilled by my marriage?∙         If the second relationship is true love why couldn’t l  face all the demons to make it work and  why did he feel the need to move on instead of  standing by me till I found a way∙         Why do we continue to hold on to this love when it has become so hurtful? Is holding on loving?  How can he want to love someone else and still hold on to this?∙         Where to from here?  I am so scared that I have found true love and let it slip through my fingers I am so glad that I read this forum. Thought that I was all alone with this craziness that I have been going through.I have been with someone for over 10 years now, married for 4 years.  Life was supposed to be simple , get married, build lives, have children and live happily ever after. But then I developed a very deep relationship with someone I worked with and we connected on an emotional and physical level. It was very strange for us that we had, there were so many factors that should have stopped us -work, race, age and he was also married.  Together we realized a true love that changed both our lives and made us believe that there was more to love than we had both experienced thus far.  Needless to say my relationship with my husband dwindled for me as I was experiencing emotions on such a high level that required such little effort whereas my marriage seemed to be something that I constantly had to work on feeling.  This second person forced me to relook at my life, reassess my worth and opened a desire to just experience life more. It felt like we were soulmates and we even called it this. Even though we daydreamed about what our lives would be like together we never made commitment to each other that we would leave our marriages to pursue this life together. He decided to divorce at the beginning of the year, his wife had also found a relationship outside her marriage and so his decision was somewhat easier.  As days went on conversations of whether I would ever leave my marriage came up and I wanted to but for me it wasn’t as easy. I could never really fault my husband for my dissatisfaction in our marriage not to mention that our relationship is tied by family and cultural bonds.  Abandoning my husband, hurting him, our families and disgracing my family were all things that I dreaded to face and the second person kept asking if our love was not enough to face it all (Does that mean that it wasn’t enough?).  Anyway when I couldn’t give him any definite answers we decided that we should end the relationship as it was at that point, I was stopping him from moving on with his life and the situation was becoming pressurized.  Since then he has started dating someone else and seeing him develop a new relationship has being the most hurtful thing that I have had to experience. Now I ask myself whether our love was not enough for him?  Even with me staying in my marriage and he moving on we still continue to hold on to our relationship which is now tainted with so much hurt.I have spoken to my husband about the way that I feel about our marriage and he tries very hard to make it work.  He is an amazing person, he is loving, caring, considerate, supportive, reliable and in this most emotional time of my life he makes me feel really safe and I love him for all those qualities but I somehow it never feels enough I often question how I am going to live the rest of my life with him if this Is how I feelSo I guess the questions that I am faced with right now are∙         Why is it that I am not fulfilled by my husband who has only being good to me?  Can I learn to be fulfilled by my marriage?∙         If the second relationship is true love why couldn’t l  face all the demons to make it work and  why did he feel the need to move on instead of  standing by me till I found a way∙         Why do we continue to hold on to this love when it has become so hurtful? Is holding on loving?  How can he want to love someone else and still hold on to this?∙         Where to from here?  I am so scared that I have found true love and let it slip through my fingers

]]> By: Rayne http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-571907 Rayne Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:44:07 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-571907 I totally agree. I am in this situation right now, trying to be unselfish and only think of the right thing for all of us. I have always believed my husband is my soulmate. We have a very loving relatinship, ups and downs and difficulties,but people have always noted on our tenderness with each other through all our tragedies we have endured. However, another beautiful soul has come into my life. This person has an incredible sexual attraction for me though, that I never had with my husband. It is confusing. . .I love them both deeply. I have very profound, life changing, loving, caring, relationships with both of them. But, I have a ten year history with my husband. On the other hand, it is so difficult to not want to connect with the man that brings this intense sensuality out of me though. For now I am choosing the first soulmate as he is so sweet and loving and I have vows and committments; I can't bare to crush him. My new soulmate is also married and has three children. For all of these people, I must ignore these earthly sexual desires and not let them confuse me more. I must let go of my passionate soul mate. . .as painful as this is. . . for the sake of other souls. Maybe, we can meet again in another lifetime? I totally agree. I am in this situation right now, trying to be unselfish and only think of the right thing for all of us. I have always believed my husband is my soulmate. We have a very loving relatinship, ups and downs and difficulties,but people have always noted on our tenderness with each other through all our tragedies we have endured. However, another beautiful soul has come into my life. This person has an incredible sexual attraction for me though, that I never had with my husband. It is confusing. . .I love them both deeply. I have very profound, life changing, loving, caring, relationships with both of them. But, I have a ten year history with my husband. On the other hand, it is so difficult to not want to connect with the man that brings this intense sensuality out of me though. For now I am choosing the first soulmate as he is so sweet and loving and I have vows and committments; I can’t bare to crush him. My new soulmate is also married and has three children. For all of these people, I must ignore these earthly sexual desires and not let them confuse me more. I must let go of my passionate soul mate. . .as painful as this is. . . for the sake of other souls. Maybe, we can meet again in another lifetime?

]]> By: Hedda http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-560442 Hedda Tue, 25 May 2010 13:41:52 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-560442 Dear Monica, Thank you so much for your very kind words. I came back to this page after a very long time so have just now seen them & hope that you'll be reading this comment. Thank you for your understanding. Yes, it was heart-wrenching and still is. But I know deep inside that I did the right thing by pulling away. I wish I could send you an email of thanks but it's not possible through this forum. If you ever read these comments, please feel free to email me at gheddag at gmail. Dear Monica,

Thank you so much for your very kind words. I came back to this page after a very long time so have just now seen them & hope that you’ll be reading this comment.

Thank you for your understanding. Yes, it was heart-wrenching and still is. But I know deep inside that I did the right thing by pulling away.

I wish I could send you an email of thanks but it’s not possible through this forum. If you ever read these comments, please feel free to email me at gheddag at gmail.

]]> By: Layana http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-552074 Layana Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:10:45 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-552074 Hey all,,, i believe in the triangle of love...ive been in love with a guy for 4 years...and he was my first love..but i dunno what happens..when i met the second one i loved him... i was confused...how can i be in the middle of twwo guys ?? it hurts because one of them is the one i loved because he is like me..he loves life...he's crazy and we were very happy 2gether.... but the second one is the one i always dreamed about long time ago im so confused Hey all,,, i believe in the triangle of love…ive been in love with a guy for 4 years…and he was my first love..but i dunno what happens..when i met the second one i loved him… i was confused…how can i be in the middle of twwo guys ?? it hurts because one of them is the one i loved because he is like me..he loves life…he’s crazy and we were very happy 2gether…. but the second one is the one i always dreamed about long time ago

im so confused

]]> By: jane http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-551170 jane Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:11:38 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-551170 hi everyone. i hope atleast one replies to my subject. i`m really really hurting now for im goin with two guys. one is the one i loved before, and the other just came smoothly, of course the 3rd party knows i have another, i don`t know if i love him for real. i don`t know whom i`m inlove with. when im with him, i miss the other one and viceversa. hi everyone. i hope atleast one replies to my subject.

i`m really really hurting now for im goin with two guys. one is the one i loved before, and the other just came smoothly, of course the 3rd party knows i have another, i don`t know if i love him for real. i don`t know whom i`m inlove with. when im with him, i miss the other one and viceversa.

]]> By: Monica http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-547087 Monica Fri, 26 Feb 2010 18:58:35 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-547087 Hedda it must have been very difficult for you to have to make that decision. I can tell that you really love for you sacrificed your excitement in the name of love.... with deep respect Monica Hedda it must have been very difficult for you to have to make that decision. I can tell that you really love for you sacrificed your excitement in the name of love….

with deep respect

Monica

]]> By: Monica http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2009/07/05/the-triangle/comment-page-11/#comment-547085 Monica Fri, 26 Feb 2010 18:56:37 +0000 http://paulocoelhoblog.com/?p=37957#comment-547085 It's easier to judge that to try to understand the other person, as the second option requires love, compasion, sacrifice, humbleness, and all of these require a big efford from the spirit. May you, dear Pete, find all these in the future so you can understand the beauty in them all. Love Monica It’s easier to judge that to try to understand the other person, as the second option requires love, compasion, sacrifice, humbleness, and all of these require a big efford from the spirit. May you, dear Pete, find all these in the future so you can understand the beauty in them all.

Love

Monica

]]>