This is a question that has not bothered me for a long time, precisely because I don’t know how to answer it.
Some people seem to be happy: they just do not think about it. Others make plans: “I’m going to have a husband, a home, two children, and a house in the country”. While this keeps them occupied, they are like bulls looking for the bullfighter: they don’t think, they just keep moving forward. They manage to get their car – sometimes even a Ferrari – and they think that the meaning of life lies there, so they never ask the question. Yet, despite all that, their eyes betray a sadness that they themselves are quite unaware of.
I don’t know if everyone is unhappy. I do know that people are always busy: working overtime, looking after the kids, the husband, the career, the university degree, what to do tomorrow, what they need to buy, whatever it is they need to have in order not to feel inferior, and so on.
Few people have ever told me: “I’m unhappy”. Most say: “I’m fine, I’ve managed to get all I ever wanted”.
So then I ask: “What makes you happy?”
They answer: “I have everything that a person can dream of – a family, a home, work, good health”.
I ask again: “Have you ever stopped to wonder if that is all there is to life?”
They answer: “Yes, that’s all there is”.
I insist: “So the meaning of life is work, the family, children who grow up and leave you, a wife or husband who will become more like a friend than a true love-mate. And one day the work will come to an end. What will you do when that happens?”
They answer: there is no answer. They change the subject. But there is always something hidden there: the owner of a firm who has still to close the deal he has always dreamed of, the housewife who would like to have more independence or more money, the new graduate who wonders whether he has chosen his career or has had it chosen for him, the dentist who wanted to be a singer, the singer who wanted to be a politician, the politician who wanted to be a writer, and the writer who wanted to be a peasant.
In this street where I am sit writing this column and looking at the people passing by, I bet that everyone is feeling the same thing. That elegant woman who has just walked by spends her days trying to stop time, controlling the bathroom scales, because she thinks love depends on that. On the other side of the street I see a couple with two children. They live moments of intense happiness when they go out with their kids, but at the same time their subconscious is busy thinking about the job they might not get, the tragedies that might occur, how to get over them, how to protect themselves from the world.
I leaf through magazines filled with famous people: everybody laughing, everybody very happy. But since this is a segment of society that I am quite familiar with, I know it is not like that: everyone is laughing or enjoying themselves at the moment that photo is taken, but at night, or in the morning, the story is always quite different. “What can I do to keep on appearing in the magazine?”, “how can I disguise not having enough money to afford all this luxury?” or “how can I manage this life of splendor to make it even more luxurious, more expressive than other people’s?”, “the actress whom I am seen with in this photo, laughing and having a great time, she could steal my part tomorrow!”, or “I wonder if my clothes are nicer than hers. Why do we smile so much if we loathe one another?”
To end, I recall the words of Jorge Luis Borges: “I will not be happy any more, but that doesn’t matter, / there are many other things in this world”.
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Greetings Pauolo,
I left a response to the blog entry happiness. It disappeared.
Well happiness is similar if you chase it, you never find it.
Happiness is a state of our mind, it brings you joy, heals your soul, uplift you from your monotonous daily lives. It has got different meaning for different people.
Some find it in simple things like nature others look for it in expensive things and pursuits.
Best Regards
fericirea este suma tuturor zambetelor,tuturor reusitelor si momentelor fericite traite pe acest pamant..fericirea este minunea universului,deoarece este formata din iubire,vis…fericirea este apusul lacrimilor si rasaritul zambetelor… http://adikady.forumgratuit.ro/forum.htm
Dear mr. Coelho,
What is happiness? Well, in fact I don’t know .. I just know I’m looking for it for a long time, but the main problem is that I don’t know how or where to seek it. I have everything that they have always told me that it was necessary for my own realization: attentive family, friends always by my side, a girl that (maybe) loves me, a job that probably it is used to be envy by many people.. but I am not happy. I am just another victim of Zahir, the social conditions that were imposed to us in lost time and that we now accept as an irrefutable axiom. I tried to stop a moment and detach from this reality to understand what I really want. And the answer was “traveling”. Yes, I want to know the world and its mysteries, meet new cultures and new people! But this dream has been dampened. I cannot travel. Fear of flying hinders me. In fact the fear of change, fear of something new, a thousand fears which are grown with me, have always stayed in my full realization. And I go back to being unhappy, unable to rid myself of this part of me. If, therefore, many people are unhappy, I ask to you, is that because they are submissive to their own rationality? Maybe I should, we all should, let be guided by instinct. Return children, naive, happy for the little things that the world offers us. Happy because every morning the sun lights up again every single blade of grass, happy because the sky above us is blue, happy to stand in the rain, happy to take over the reins of our lives everyday. That’s a simple action. But I’m not able to do it.
Happiness-cultivated emotion which lasts.
Am still re-reading your THE VALLEYRIES. Thank you for the untold pleasure. I now , belatedly , know happiness is sharing stories and walk with my husband. To hear his voice again. The hurt, lies and betrayals were all in the past. Pathetic isn’t it? If happiness is not achievable, then at least , let there be positive elements at work. I do pray that there is a second chance.
This is a question that has plagued me no end.
No one ever seems to ask the question “are you happy” to someone else as it assumed weird or prying. My mother on the other hand asks this of me every single time I speak to her “Are you happy?” she asks…
What is happiness to me? I have pondered that question time and time again and whilst i know the answer, I can honestly say it i.e happiness only comes to me in short bursts sporadically.
the question is how can i sustain that moment forever?…
there is really happiness in this life, in this world. but, it isn’t last forever. i mean temporary. because happiness is a thing, and a thing is subjected to a change. nothing is forever.
maybe, by realizing this, i can say, is a state of happiness.
regards,
Irwan
Happiness is for me a way I choose to walk through life- it is my direction, a decisison which I take…..
I can take the things easy and I can feel happy and thankful for what happens and feel and see the life –> to see the positive side within all things- even when the person I love died, even when my mother has deadly cancer… I can be happy for the time I have with her right now and not to think about the future (which does not exist, by the way) ….or
I can choose the other path: to have expectations ,to force things- to want to controll situations, to focus on the material world, with luxus, fame, money and other soul-less things…
The easiest way to become unhappy is to have expectations. Another way is to threat our imaginations (the past, the future, and what we think another person feels) like real… and to forget that they exist only in our head and to forget how beautiful is the moment NOW. More harder is to believe that a car, a house , money, fame can make you happy! Cheers Mondfalkin
This is a great thought.
By the way, I’m threatened again, but I’m getting used to it. I have talked to the police, but they don’t take it seriously. I’ll go anyway.
I will leave in a few hours, so it will take some time before I’m back on this blog. Maybe I see you in Trondheim in the end of the month? :-)
I grew up watching and listening to my grandfather telling stories and anecdotes of his younger days. He’s a great story teller, he laughs, cry and felt sad and hurt at the foolishness of his actions then. He is a great believer that there is a purpose and conclusion of all things in this life. In his last days he talks to himself a lot, one day i heard him speaks in this word’ ” dear God of how i live my life, i am content. If You will i shall live longer”. He died at the age of 93 not knowing he had prostate cancer. The doctor said he had the cancer for years but i never heard him complained of being sick or in pain. I do believed my grandfather died a happy man, coz in every stories and anecdote he tell his last words is always this, “oh! how i live my life then”.
Happiness
For me happiness is a peaceful energy in my mind body and soul.
I think happiness is something that easily can be find in the presence. Just observe the colours u see or listen to the sounds that u hear. Happiness is when you dont listen to your thoughts.
I usually feel that when I paint or write, but its a struggle every day to not fall under your thoughts. I also think that happiness comes more easily when we are thankful. Its like u have to take a decision every minute and choose the happiness.
Write down your dreams on a paper and put it up on a wall.
I remember for 3 years ago a man asked me what my dreams were, I couldnt even say the words that I love to paint, I just start crying, but today I paint and I study at an artschool. That brings me happiness..
follow your dreams/
Sarita
Happiness is not a big thing at all it is a million little things. God sends us divine gifts all the time but our minds and hearts are too busy to accept and enjoy these gifts. The moment we learn how to live for the moment, we feel part of creation, we feel connected with something more powerful than us and the day to day worries that clutter our minds and hearts become less significant and just tasks that we have to do to survive. The moment we realise how insignificant, vain, flawed our human condition is, we can connect with our higher selves and honour the true divinity within us and others which goes beyond wealth, status, appearances and the material world we live in.
To me happiness is waking in the morning breathing in and out with gratitude for another day to enjoy the sun light coming through the window, the smell of coffee, my kids laughter, my husbands touch. To always be aware of the sound of a beautiful melody, to the words of a poem or a story well told, to be able to comfort those in need even if by tiny gestures, to be comforted by a friend when you heart is troubled. To sing dance and love with passion as if it was your last day on earth.
Yes to me happiness is a million little things :):)
I work for young people who are suicidal. I am a counsellor. Someone asked me one time “when will I be happy?” I could only tell her how I experience happiness.
Most of the time I go along ‘ok’. In between ‘ok’ there are times when I feel stressed and get a feeling of depression. These times are not frequent but sometimes come for no apparent reason. Then there are times when I am happy. Usually a sweeping feeling of connectiveness, belonging and love. But like the feeling of depression, this is not long lasting and I go back to feeling ‘ok’. In between I live my life. Sometimes I need to consciously stop and just ‘be’ in the moment and realise that I’m more than ‘ok’ I’m happy.
Happiness can be interpreted through various points of view. One could explain happiness if s/he is healthy, is well financially, has a good job, loving family etc. These are all attributed to happiness. In my case I associate happiness with God’s gifts to me on a daily basis. The fact that I opened my eyes is already Happiness for me that God granted me another day of life in this world. I try to associate everything from a positive perspective no matter how difficult each situation I face, and pray GOD to grant me strength to overcome every moment in my life through trust and faith in Him. This was keeps me happy and I thank God for what I have at all times and trust God for what I need at all times. – In this way I’m never disappointed and am always happy
Forwarded this email to all my friends but was shocked with the replies. Almost everyone identified with this and most said they are not truly happy, they just exist….from day to day.
My boyfriend is the exception. He seems to hold the secret to happiness but can’t put his finger on what it is. He lives his life simply, maybe that is it. His possessions mean nothing to him, he doesn’t identify himself by what he owns. He is childlike.
In his words, “live as life lives”
Happiness is your state of mind, you can be happy without material possesions and unhappy with all the best material comforts around you. Your enormous happines could mean nothing to me and my little happiness could mean alot to you.
Happiness ligtens our soul. Sometimes we don’t give permission to ourselves to be happy. Is it our ego preventing us to be happy or we have forgotten how it seems to be happy.
Hello Paulo,
I am happy, I don’t have a brand new car or own a house or even close to buying one. I have two little boys that drive me crazy on a daily basis and no husband to kiss at the end of the day. However I am happy, I know that my life will lead me in the right direction I know that when there are bad time they never last and the great times always delete the bad out. My life is truely mine to live and it feels incredible, I know society says get a job, car, house, husband, lose that wieght to be honest it never shuts up but it is my choice to listen or not.
I know one day I would love to own a little house to call my own and be doing a job that I truely enjoy doing and when that time comes I will do everything I need to so I can have it. For now I have a nice rental property on acerage which has been a dream for so long, I have my boys happy and healthy most important I have my life to live. I think if we don’t give the negitive in life our time and energy we can’t be drained of our happiness.
I am truely happy.
Thank you for the ways you encourage me to think without even realising it.
Melanie
I don’t think we have to be happy all the time. Being content is sufficient, with sparks of happiness every once in a while. If we have too great expectations for life and what it should be, chances are that we will become unhappy. It is like chasing the rainbow. I have been observed at the end of the rainbow three times. But once other people can see you in the end of the rainbow, you know it is an illusion. The end of the rainbow is somewhere else than where you are. This reminds me so much of the smiling people in the glossy magazines. Many people believe they are at the end of the rainbow, but reality might be quite different for these people. I believe good roots, good fruits, and a partner who loves you and you love back is the best guarantee for contentment and happiness. And of course, a safe and stable family economy is important.
One of the biggest successes of our time, Michael Jackson, had “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin as his favourite song. He was one of the most popular and successful entertainers of our time. Still, he must have had a tremendous burden by all his worries. This tells me that an impressive career and fame is no guarantee for happiness.
I could stay in Hollywood long enough to help make a movie about an interesting life story, but I don’t think I could live there for a very long time. My son is very eager to go to Hollywood, and he is on my back all the time to get there.
i will to america, not to pilgrimstour (This one was from my son Rune, 11 years old.)
I don’t loose faith. I still don’t know where I am heading. But after I have endured the long walk, I’m sure I will see everything clearly…
Great topic Paulo, thank you!
I have never sought to be happy, but I know JOY.
Thinking just now that perhaps happiness is a transient emotion, where as joy is the love of god that lives inside of me. This joy must be fed, watered (nurtured), then shared. Just like a wildflower. Simple, yet true. Love, Jane xo : )
Happiness is fleeing moment we steal to serenity. We only appreciate it when it leaves us.
Oh, Paulo! You know my heart and mind so well. I was just contemplating this idea yesterday. Thanks again your insight. Much love..Marie
I think there are 2 facets to happiness…one can only be truly happy when one finds equilibrium as that is where peace truly lies and there is no happiness without peace…The other is when one wholly accepts and loves oneself just as one is.
In my life, I have been experienced both my extremes…There have been times when I was beyond despair and times when I was delirious with joy…But in the times in between, I felt nothing or at least was not aware of any feeling cos I was not sure who I was. I was always seeking happiness outside of myself and each of those 2 extremes were as a consequence of gaining/losing things/people I thought were mine…These things/people brought me intense pleasure which I mistook for true happiness…So much so that in the time inbetween these both my extremes, I was too busy looking for the next ‘target’ to make me happy, that I forgot to look within where happiness already resides – MY SOUL!
I was made redundant 8 months ago. In that time, I have known BALANCE and found that only in it lies true happiness…I am no longer defined by my profession or religion (which I abandoned way before I lost my job)…Infact, I no longer try to define myself…I now do what I like, when I like, how I like and IF i like..and in so doing I have discovered the ME within, the child, and HOW I LOVE ME!
I have lost most of the material luxuries I used to have as a result of losing my source of income, BUT my soul has grown..I’m not even sure if I’ll still have a roof over my head by the end of the month but I have never been happier or more generous in my WHOLE life…I now notice the beauty in EVERYTHING -animate n inanimate alike…I see the miracle in every moment especially in the gift of a brand new day!
Of course I remain human, and there are times when my mind takes over and I worry but I’m always happy cos now I have learnt that everything is an illusion and have stopped chasing illusions. The only thing that is real is LOVE and I feel, receive and give it everyday…even the keys of my laptop feel it even as I type now…
Happiness is Real and achievable if only we reach within, give unconditionally and focus on what is REAL…LOVE!
Dear Paulo,
There is no perfect formula on “how to be happy” but there is a very simple way to achieve happiness, it all depend on us.
Our attitude towards life determines our level of content and happiness. We choose with our reactions the end result. We can look at it with the negative magnifying glass or we can look at them with the positive one. The one that looks beyond the surface, underneath the apparent.
I’m happy but I have my ups and downs, I accept this with content as I know I will soon be happy again.
There is a song by Alejandro Lerner that I like to sing along when I’m sad: “Today I’m feeling down, today it’s stronger than me. Today I need a hug, hug me until the clouds are gone and the sun is out again…
Happiness is that inner knowledge that the sun will still be there after the storm… we should never forget that.
Love
Gabi
I’ve decided, decoded mayber, that “happiness” is a choice I exercise. I have seen how I create “unhappiness” by how I regard the world I live in, that I am as much a “co-creator” of my world as God is of what is around me.
I noticed one morning as I got out of bed that I was enumerating to myself the things that were wrong, who was to blame and how I was going to deal with them. In that instant I realized what a fiction it all was! These things I was thinking were merely projections of my own judgements, attitudes and, ultimately, self-obsession.
If I could so effortlessly create a shit-hole for myself, why not exercise the same energy, choice, whatever, and be happy?
So I have, or at least try. I need to monitor my thoughts and feelings throughout the day with discernment to assess what and how they are creating my world. I have to look at my progress through the day and realize what I am moving toward, to what am I carrying myself, whether it is something limited only to my self-interest and gratification, or is it something that has a benefit beyond myself.
I try to live by the dictum to take action and leave the results in God’s hands: “…To unite the heart with the Godhead and then to act: that is the secret of non-attached work… perform every action sacramentally, and be free from all attachment to results.” Bhagavad-Gita
You know, whatever action to take that lies before me is not always up to me but whether I am “happy” or not is my choice.
I have come to learn when I stopped chasing everything “out there”, when I no longer was envious of others, when the most important thing was that I felt connected to Source (God), that is when I felt true happiness. When I sit on my patio and look at the beautiful flowers, listening to the birds sing and bathe in the birdbaths, when I “look at the horizon” and see the beautiful blue sky and the huge puffy clouds, that is when I feel happy. When I now accept “what is”, allowing people to be who they want to be and not trying to control people or situations that is when I am happy. I have learned to accept responsibility for where I am in life and not to blame anyone or anything, I have learned to stop with all my excuses and take responsibility to allow my soul to evolve— to take back my power to allow myself all the happiness I deserve. That makes me happy! It’s been a journey, and I am happy I have opened myself up to be who I have become. I have forgiven myself, forgiven others and that has brought me tremendous freedom, that makes me very happy. When I am happy I feel lighter, I smile and say hi to whoever I see. Everything is a thought and I am learning to change my thoughts to make myself as happy as I can be each and every moment. I’m worth it, your worth it.
love and happy thoughts
ha ha ha paulo !
happiness ! and its pursuit !! the ilusive goal mankind has been hankering after since mankind has been.
remember socrates ( or was it someone else, whoever. ) “call no man happy till he is dead”
jokes apart, happiness is not in pursuit of desires, happiness lives in living a sincere, honest life, earning one’s bread by means which one need not be ahsamed of, happiness lies in living in the present, i feel.
about that ramkrishna tale, but then what happens to “God protect our doubts, for doubts are a way of praying” but then maybe there is a time for doubt and there is a time for faith, or better still doubts and faith can coexist with doubts being on one’s own understanding of things and faith on the overall intelligence which refelcts through us also.
love
aditya
i really like it.. i think about it everyday… and everyday i test myself if what i’m doing is just to keep me busy or if its really a battle i wanna win, that will lead me to other more diffcult battles that will change me, trasform me into something new. so that i can help myself and the other people better.. so to do good in this world. i battle, i win, i lose, i draw.. i dont wanna stop fightin for what i want
Dear Mr Coelho,
There is an interesting dialogue in my teachings which talks about the search for happiness. If one were to intensely watch a little baby (even one who is clearly ill), one would notice that through every experience the baby goes through, there is a clear, wordless joy echoing in its eyes. We speak about the formless consciousness that is the baby, whose intrinsic nature is a state of bliss. It would seem that the baby is intrinsically happy even if moment to moment it experiences other states of being, like sadness, misery or pain.
In our frenetic, programmed adult state of being we operate not in the formless consciousness, but in the one we formed. I call it Fear Consciousness. This one has no idea what happiness or love is. It tries to analyse happiness. It tries to figure it out. It rationalises, argues, thinks, plans, plots, discusses, reads, asks etc. It does everything that it thinks it must do to attain this happiness. It fails. Because it is seeking what it already is. It fails because it seeks it outside ourselves.
So what is happiness? I would respectfully submit that it is not describable. It can only be experienced and known. To most of us, it is a very rare experience. To a baby or a little child it is a constant, an always present state of being.
I hope this helps you beautiful and thought provoking discourse..
As always it is an honour to be guided by your presence.
Humbly yours,
Sonny
I thought about your question while I was eating my breakfast. I always like to look in a dictionary and see what the basic definition of a word is. According to my dictionary happiness can be defined as being fortunate, having pleasure or joy or something that is fitting or appropriate or when we are unduly enthusiastic or concerned. For me happiness comes under the “something that is fitting” best. That means in essence, the moments in my life without pain, insecurity, loneliness and frustration. I don’t wake up in the morning and say, OK, today I’m going to try and be happy. It comes right along if you let it, without effort. Right now, in this very moment, I’m happy. Yesterday evening I had a few hours where I wasn’t. I was lonely. That’s life! Nobody is always happy. It comes and goes like all of our emotions. A big problem is that so many people are looking outside of themselves trying to find it. They don’t realize that it is already there, wanting to be let out. Due to consumerism we are led to believe that we can buy our happiness. Well, we know this doesn’t work. I think more people could discover this hidden happiness inside of themselves if they could learn how to stop comparing themselves with others and see what is really important in our world. Empathy,kindness, giving, peace, patience, tolerance and good old common sense LOVE! It’s that simple to find happiness.
A new wol-letter! That makes me happy! :-)
Recently someone asked me if I was happy or not. It was the first time that this question was posed to me and I did not answer because I was not sure what he meant by the word happiness, whether it was health related, job, degree, family…However I believed that as the bible say: “do not worry about tomorrow” and living with this in mind considering that every second in this world is a mystery makes me happy.
very true. i must say!!!!
Happiness to me is momentary state that comes often but if it stayed would become unappreciated..
Never found in the material things we desire, rather found in the smile of a passing stranger or friend, a shared moment of joy with loved ones, the feel of the sun on your face, watching or joining in with childrens play, a moment during a walk, lying in a field communing with nature and enjoying the solitude, within love, etc..
At least this is my perception of happiness but I would say that it is different for everyone although many will share some of the same reasons that cause the feeling in me..
From my point of view i think there is no such meaning for this word since it’ s a feeling , something which doesn t need to be define in order to be understood. And sometime i find myself thinking of it as one of those feeling lost by human over the course of theire life the more they are getting caught up by the so -called “responsabilities, obligations,demandes ” of theire society , culture , beliefs and so on .
I remember a Great Master having said once the Kingdom of heaven is own by the children or those like them . I have spend my time observing children and i came to realize that either they are poor or rich , they seem to be always playing without thinking about so much things or having so much worries … maybe they’ve got the answer ….
I believe
true happiness
arise from inside of ones heart
despite of the everyday-turmoils
This occurs when one manage to live
the moments of the day
centered in the light of ones soul
Roots & wings of faith
combined with
a great love for simplicity
is my personal way to happines,
a silent happiness – making it easier
to enjoy & laugh when life invites to
Our house, our temple;
The body, soul & mind
wants to be cherished & loved – as one
This is so easy & … so hard sometimes
I fail a lot!
But still, my “map” keeps me on track
world-wide-love*
¡Buenos días!…si no te molesto por mucho tiempo, ¿por que? Preocuparte ahora, a mi entender es simplemente una palabra, y creo que muy internamente todos sabemos que es eso y nada mas. Internamente y externamente hay millones de sensaciones y cosas que también están puestas para que las experimentes, “la felicidad es un truco de magia, que hace que pierdas el tiempo, en algo que brilla pero que no ilumina , hace que te sientas un visitante de tu propia vida , pero como toda magia todos queremos saber donde esta el truco” esto no significa que en algún momento determinado en mi vida yo no halla ido en busca de la felicidad , por que seria mentirte, si lo hice, hasta que me di cuenta que era solo un simple truco que me alejaría de mi verdadero yo, y de lo que quiero experimentar , me completa mas pensar en otro tipo de cosas , como por ejemplo en lo que trasmitís vos ; que aparte de ser un excelente escritor , sos, un ser humano ,muy transparente , sensible , y por que no , con un toque de locura , sos tan simple , que cada tema que tocas en tu blog , refleja precisamente tu estado de animo , y tu actitud frente a la vida , vos, logras que las personas viajen con la mente , en un mundo donde nadie tiene tiempo para nada , vos , haces que hagamos un parate y reflexionemos , no sos un ser especial…sos un ser esencial , gracias!
Happiness could take decades to fulfill. Can only be achieved with no regret, it is found from within and most of all, by staying true to yourself.
This is my opinion.
Salam Mr Coelho,
I think we came from happiness or a happy place in the begining. We became seperated and long after happiness all our life. Someone try to find it in materia, other in ideas, some in action others in inaction. Everyone in his/her way. I dont think we can reach a state where we can be totally happy, part of it because we live in this body. It is not bad to search for happiness and on the way we will hopefully learn that the more you hunt the more it runs away from you. We must stay and let it come to us sometimes.
Personally I love my sorrows. They make me closer to love and love’s eyes are mostley in tears and that is all that matters. I have learned that I have to accept every feeling and share the happy moments, because the virus called happy is so contagious.
Hafez again:
“I caught the happy virus last night
When I was out singing beneath the stars.
It is remarkably contagious -
So kiss me.”
/Love and Love
Recently I had the opportunity to witness life a bit ‘differently’. Which aided me to see that I find happiness to be an emotion and not a way of being. Life for me is my happiness, even when it is harsh and stupid ;) For without Life I would never feel this emotion called Happy.
I believe the real purpose of this life is to understand the might and wisdom of God, which could be quite easy and difficult at the same time. Once you are blessed and that curtain before your eyes is removed, you start to see God’s face in everything…suddenly your whole world brightens up and you experience the true lasting happiness. Your sleeping, your eating, your work, your jog in the park, everything becomes a prayer as you start to see the true Force behind everything around and inside you. But sadly, as you said Paulo, we have invented ways to keep us distracted from the real question. An endless pit of inventions, without which human survived and thrived for centuries, probably with more per capita happiness. The whole scientific research is focused to comfort body, but most shy away from the ways of soothing the soul, because that path could hurt the human vanity that there is a Power much greater than him, who gave him this very life S/he is so desperately trying to enjoy.
The true happiness can only be achieved when you accept God. And the best part is, you don’t necessarily have to go to mosques, churches, synagogues or mandir…you just have to look inside you. God is closer to every living soul than most people think. You may have to go through confrontations, just like Elijah went through in The Fifth Mountain, but you should keep searching until you are blessed.
i have wondered about happiness and the its components and exactly whether or not it is an independent concept or one which as a necessity must have some antecedents or even prerequisites that must be tangible or conceptual.
when i was much younger i asked my mother what was the point of life since it seemed to me at the time ( and still does at times) that life apparently entails going to school or engaging in a period of study,securing a profession/finding a vocation,finding a life partner/mate,possibly producing offspring so that they in turn willl have the (mis)fortune of starting the cycle again.
she told me that she didn’t have all the answers but if i made someone’s life better as a result of my existence and if i remember that love is the greatest religion then my purpose will eventually be revealed and that in creating happiness i in turn will experience joy and happiness…..
there is a certain pattern to human life that may generally conform to my basic outline above and of course there are those whose lives seem to break the mould that are the construct of the mass mentality but happiness i think is the fundamental goal of everyone after they have secured a means of survival for themselves.
as a military officer i find that helping people by withholding or applying certain principles bring a deep sense of peace and contentment but it does not last….so it probably may not be as deep or profound as i think.. but in addition to doing something that you deem important and worthy i think this may assist seekers of happiness.
no one will be happy all the time( i am not saying that this was implied by mr coelho’s article) and i believe that the active and constant seeking of approbation and approval increases the transience of happiness but happiness may be more of a lingering companion if the better welfare of others is sought.
thank mr coelho for the honour of your attention
i have wondered about happiness and the its components and exactly whether or not it is an independent concept or one which as a necessity must have some antecedents or even prerequisites that must be tangible or conceptual.
when i was much younger i asked my mother what was the point of life since it seemed to me at the time ( and still does) that life apparently entails going to school or engaging in a period of study,securing a profession/finding a vocation,finding a life partner/mate,possibly producing offspring so that they in turn willl have the (mis)fortune of starting the cycle again.
she told me that she didn’t have all the answers but if i made someone’s life better as a result of our existence and if i remember that love is the greatest religion then my purpose will eventually be revealed and that in creating happiness i in turn will experience joy and happiness…..
there is a certain pattern to human life that may generally conform to my basic outline above and of course the are those whose lives seem to break the mould that are the construct of the mass mentality but happiness i think is the fundamental goal of everyone after they have secured a means of survival for themselves.
as a military officer i find that helping people by withholding or applying certain principles bring a deep sense of peace and contentment but it does not last….so it probably may not be as deep or profound as i think.. but in addition to doing something that you deem important and worthy i think this may assist seekers of happiness.
no one will be happy all the time( i am not saying that this was implied by mr coelho’s article) and i believe that the active and constant seeking of approbation and approval increases the transience of happiness but happiness may be more of a lingering companion if the better welfare of others is sought.
thank mr coelho for the honour of your attention
I really enjoyed the “What is happiness?” article and would like to make reference to the etymological origin of the word Happiness. The ‘Hap’ part of the word relates to luck or chance therefore it is not something we can control or determine…my view (and it is just my view) is that I am ‘happiest’ (or luckiest) when I am content with whatever I have i.e. not seeking more or less just appreciative of what is in front of me at that current time. I fully appreciate that people are in differing situations all over the world and my perspective is somewhat bias to my unique situation, so please take my comments in context as they come from a friendly place.
oh thank you for this WOL issue! I can take down that picture I put on my dresser and look at the reflection in the mirror instead to remind myself to just live and be.
last night as I went through my closet, drawers, suitecases, getting rid of things that reminded me of him that I was holding on to and things that I didnt need, trying to pass the time by so I wouldn’t call. I came across some picturs of me from two years ago ( http://picasaweb.google.com/home ) and I thought to myself as I looked at the pictures that my eyes showed Joy.I realized at that moment during that year I wasn’t searching for happiness I was just living life and enjoying every moment the good and the bad, I was living.
All my life I felt that there must be more than just the material world. Many years I did nog realise this but I felt always that there must be something wrong (with me because I did not speak about this and just saw other people behaving normal ?). And now so many years later, I now that I am content and I am happy with my life, but I now too that it can be very difficult en I always hope that there is something more. Althougt I am a person who is very realistic, I can’t let lose that I always hope that one day I’ll understand why we are living and why we are like we are. Because I find the world a very strange thing.
I wish I could define happiness my own way
For me, one way to be happy is also to be contented with what we have presently. It doesn’t necessarily mean having everything we ever wanted, but appreciating everything that we have.
happiness for me is an enlightened consciousness of truth, understanding, magic and love…
When these come together and we are conscious of that moment – then i feel happiness.
It is knowing that and, feeling safe in the knowledge that, i am flowing as part of a river towards the sea…
It is knowing that I am loved and known by God, my family and life… that I am alive and have a life, a place on this Earth where I belong.
I hope my comment will pass the moderation this time unlike before. Haha.
I wrote this on July 9. Did it somehow get lost in cyberspace? I thought you erased it. I came upon it only by chance just now- weird…
We tend to tie happiness to certain things. We think we will be happy when we get married or when we have children or when we go to a certain vacation. I beleive that we should be able to achieve happiness no matter what. These are all the external factors that we think will make us happy. But I believe it is something we are supposed to find in ourselves. And thats why we come here, to this life. To find that inner peace or happiness or whatever we may want to call it.
I was unhappy and i felt lost and nearly get mad i wanted to die i felt that my heart will stop at any moments but when i read this article I discovred the true happiness and the peace of mind .plz read this article and give me your answer.
How to be successful in life
(In the light of the Glorious Qurân and the Sunnah)
By:
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Question:
How to obtain success and prosperity in this world and hereafter? What kind of success or prosperity that Islam wants the Ummah Islam gain in this world?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah.
Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries and anxiety… these are what everyone wants, and these are the ways in which people can have a good life and find complete happiness and joy.
There are religious means of achieving that, and natural and practical means, but no one can combine all of them except the believers; although other people may achieve some of them, they will miss out on others.
There follows a summary of the means of achieving this aim for which everyone is striving. In some cases, those who achieve many of them will live a joyful life and a good life; in other cases, those who fail to achieve all of them will live a life of misery and hardship. And there are others which are in between, according to what the means he is able to attain. These means include the following:
1 – Faith and righteous deeds:
This is the greatest and most fundamental of means. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
{Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)} [Quran, 16:97].
{مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحاً مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَى وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ}
Transliteration: Man `Amila Şāliĥāan Min Dhakarin ‘Aw ‘Unthá Wa Huwa Mu’uminun Falanuĥyiyannahu Ĥayāatan Ţayyibatan Wa Lanajziyannahum ‘Ajrahum Bi’aĥsani Mā Kānū Ya`malūna
Allah tells us and promises us that whoever combines faith with righteous deeds will have a good life and a good reward in this world and in the Hereafter.
The reason for that is clear: those who believe in Allah – with sincere faith that motivates them to do righteous deeds that change hearts and attitudes and guides them to the straight path in this world and the Hereafter – follow principles and guidelines by means of which they deal with everything that happens to them, be it the causes of happiness and excitement or the causes of anxiety, worry and grief.
They deal with the things that they like by accepting them and giving thanks for them, and using them in good ways. When they deal with them in this manner, that creates in them a sense of excitement and the hope that it will continue and that they will be rewarded for their gratitude, which is more important than the good things that happen to them. And they deal with bad things, worries and distress by resisting those that they can resist, alleviating those that they can alleviate, and bearing with goodly patience those that they cannot avoid. Thus as a result of the bad things they gain a lot of benefits, experience, strength, patience and hope of reward, which are more important and which diminish the hardships they have undergone and replace them with happiness and hope for the bounty and reward of Allah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) expressed this in a saheeh hadeeth in which he said: «How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him. This does not apply to anyone but the believer» [Narrated by Muslim, no. 2999].
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told us that the believer is always gaining and the reward for his deeds is always multiplying, no matter what happens to him, good or bad.
2 – Being kind to people in word and deed, and all kinds of doing good.
This is one of the means of removing worry, distress and anxiety. By this means Allah wards off worries and distress from righteous and immoral like, but the believer has the greater share of that, and is distinguished by the fact that his kindness to others stems from sincerity and the hope of reward, so Allah makes it easy for him to be kind to others because of the hope that this will bring good things and ward off bad things, by means of his sincerity and hope of reward. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
{لاَّ خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِّن نَّجْوَاهُمْ إِلاَّ مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلاَحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ ابْتَغَاء مَرْضَاتِ اللّهِ فَسَوْفَ نُؤْتِيهِ أَجْراً عَظِيماً}
Transliteration: Lā Khayra Fī Kathīrin Min Najwāhum ‘Illā Man ‘Amara Bişadaqatin ‘Aw Ma`rūfin ‘Aw ‘Işlāĥin Bayna An-Nāsi Wa Man Yaf`al Dhālika Abtighā’a Marđāati Allāhi Fasawfa Nu’utīhi ‘Ajrāan `Ažīmāan
{There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allah’s Cause), or Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allah has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allah, We shall give him a great reward} [Quran, 4:114].
Part of that great reward is relief from worry, distress, troubles, etc.
3 – Another of the means of warding off anxiety that stems from nervous tension and being preoccupied with disturbing thoughts is to occupy oneself with good deeds or seeking beneficial knowledge, for that will distract one from dwelling on the matters that are causing anxiety. In this way a person may forget about the things that are making him worried and distressed, and he may become happy and more energetic. This is another means that believers and others have in common, but the believer is distinguished by his faith, sincerity and hope of reward when he occupies himself with that knowledge which he is learning or teaching, or with the good deeds that he is doing.
The work with which he occupies himself should be something that he likes and enjoys, for that is more likely to produce the desired results. And Allah knows best.
4 – Another thing that may ward off worry and anxiety is focusing all one’s thoughts of the present day, and not worrying about the future or grieving about the past. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) sought refuge with Allah from worry and regret, from regret for things in the past which one cannot put right or change, and worry which may come because of fear for the future. So one should focus only on the present day, and focus one’s efforts on getting things right today. For if a person is focused on that, this means that he will do things properly and forget about worry and regret.
When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said a du’aa’ or taught a du’aa’ to his Ummah, as well as urging them to seek the help of Allah and hope for His bounty, he was also urging them to strive to attain the thing they were praying for through their own efforts and to forget about the thing which they were praying would be warded off from them. Because du’aa’ (supplication) must be accompanied by action. So a person must strive to attain that which will benefit him in worldly and spiritual terms, and ask his Lord to make his efforts successful, and he should seek His help in that, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
«Strive for that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allah, and do not be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.’ Rather you should say, ‘Qaddara Allah wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah decrees, and what He wills He does),’ for (the words) ‘If only’ open the door to the Shaytaan» [Narrated by Muslim].
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) connected the matter of striving to achieve good things with the matter of seeking the help of Allah and not giving in to feelings of helplessness which are a harmful kind of laziness, and with the matter of accepting things in the past which are over and done with, and acknowledging that the will and decree of Allah will inevitably come to pass. He described matters as being of two types:
1 – Matters which a person may strive to achieve or to achieve whatever he can of them, or to ward them off or alleviate them. In such cases a person must strive and make the effort, and also seek the help of Allah.
2 – Matters where such is not possible, so he must have peace of mind, accept them and submit to Allah’s will.
Undoubtedly paying attention to this principle will bring happiness and relieve worry and distress.
5 – One of the greatest means of feeling content and relaxed and of acquiring peace of mind is to remember Allah a great deal (dhikr). That has a great effect in bringing contentment and peace of mind, and relieving worry and distress. Allah says:
{الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ اللّهِ أَلاَ بِذِكْرِ اللّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ}
Transliteration: Al-Ladhīna ‘Āmanū Wa Taţma’innu Qulūbuhum Bidhikri Allāhi ‘Alā Bidhikri Allāhi Taţma’innu Al-Qulūbu
{Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest} [Quran, 13:28].
Remembering Allah (dhikr) has a great effect in achieving this aim because it has a special influence and because of the hope that it brings of reward.
6 – Another of the means of bringing happiness and relieving worry and distress is striving to eliminate the things that cause worry and to achieve the things that bring happiness. That may be done by forgetting about bad things in the past which cannot be changed, and realizing that dwelling on them is a waste of time. So a person must strive to stop himself from thinking of that, and also strive to stop himself from feeling anxious about the future and the things that he may imagine of poverty, fear and other bad things that he thinks may happen to him in the future. He should realize that the future is something unknown, he cannot know what good or bad things are going to happen to him. That is in the hand of the Almighty, the Most Wise, and all that His slaves can do is to strive to attain the good things and to ward off the bad things. A person should realize that if he diverts his thoughts from worrying about his future and puts his trust in his Lord to take care of his situation, and puts his mind at rest concerning that, if he does that, then his heart will be at peace and his situation will improve and he will be relieved of worry and anxiety.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with worries about the future is to recite this du’aa’ which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to recite:
«Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa ‘ismatu amri, wa aslih li dunyaaya allati fiha ma’aashi, wa aslih li aakhirati allati ilayha ma’aadi, waj’al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr, wa’l-mawta raahatan li min kulli sharr (O Allah, correct my religious commitment which is the foundation of my life, and correct my worldly affairs in which is my livelihood, and grant me good in the Hereafter to which is my return. Make my life a means of accumulating good, and make death a respite for me from all evil)» [Narrated by Muslim, 2720].
And he said: «Allaahumma rahmataka arju fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘aynin wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu, laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not abandon me to myself even for a moment. And correct all my affairs. There is no god but You)» [Narrated by Abu Dawood with a saheeh isnaad, no. 5090; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, p. 49].
If a person utters these du’aa’s, which ask that his spiritual and worldly affairs may be set right or corrected, with proper presence of mind and sincerity of intention, whilst striving to achieve that, Allah will grant him what he has prayed for, hoped for and striven for, and He will turn his worry into joy and happiness.
7 – If a person experiences anxiety and distress because of a disaster, then one of the most effective means of relieving himself of that is to think of the worst scenario to which that may lead, and try to accept that. When he has done that, then he should try to alleviate it as much as possible. By means of this acceptance and these efforts, he will relieve himself of his worries and distress, and instead of worrying he will strive to bring about good things and to deal with whatever he can of the bad things.
If he is faced with things that cause fear or the possibility of sickness or poverty, then he should deal with that by striving to make himself accept that, or something even worse, with contentment, because by making himself accept the worst-case scenario, he lessens the impact of the thing and makes it seem less terrible, especially if he occupies himself with efforts to ward it off as much as he can. Thus as well as striving to achieve something good which will distract him from his worries about calamity, he will also renew his strength to resist bad things, and put his trust and reliance in Allah.
8 – Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the imaginary things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a person gives in to his imagination and lets his mind be disturbed by these thoughts, such as fear of disease and the like, or anger and confusion stirred up by some grievous matter, or the expectation of bad things and the loss of good things, that will fill him with worries, distress, mental and physical illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad effect on him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people have seen. But when a person depends on Allah and puts his trust in Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts overwhelm him, and he relies on Allah and has hope of His bounty, that wards off his worries and distress, and relieves him of a great deal of mental and physical sickness. It gives indescribable strength, comfort and happiness to the heart. How many hospitals are filled with the mentally sick victims of illusions and harmful imagination; how often have these things had an effect upon the hearts of many strong people, let alone the weak ones; how often have they led to foolishness and insanity.
It should be noted that your life will follow your train of thought. If your thoughts are of things that will bring you benefit in your spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life will be good and happy. Otherwise it will be the opposite.
The person who is safe from all of that is the one who is protected by Allah and helped by Him to strive to achieve that which will benefit and strengthen the heart and ward off anxiety. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
{And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him} [Quran, 65:3]
{وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ}
Transliteration: Wa Man Yatawakkal `Alaá Allāhi Fahuwa Ĥasbuhu
i.e., He will be sufficient for all that is worrying him in his spiritual and worldly affairs. The one who puts his trust in Allah will have strength in his heart and will not be affected by anything he imagines or be disturbed by events, because he knows that these are the result of vulnerable human nature and of weakness and fear that have no basis. He also knows that Allah has guaranteed complete sufficiency to those who put their trust in Him. So he trusts in Allah and finds peace of mind in His promise, and thus his worry and anxiety are dispelled; hardship is turned to ease, sadness is turned to joy, fear is turned to peace. We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound, and to bless us with strength and steadfastness of heart, and complete trust, for Allah has guaranteed all good things to those who put their trust in Him, and has guaranteed to ward off all bad and harmful things from them.
If bad things happen or there is the fear of such, then you should count the many blessings that you are still enjoying, both spiritual and worldly, and compare them with the bad things that have happened, for when you compare them you will see the many blessings that you are enjoying, and this will make the bad things appear less serious.
See al-Wasaa’il al-Mufeedah li’l-Hayaat al-Sa’eedah by Shatkh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Sa’di
Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allah may dispel worries and regret. These are as follows:
1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine Lordship).
2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine nature).
3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma’ wa’l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and attributes).
4- Thinking of Allah as being above doing any injustice to His slaves, and above punishing anyone for no cause on the part of the slave that would require such punishment.
5- The person’s acknowledging that he is the one who has done wrong.
6- Beseeching Allah by means of the things that are most beloved to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names that encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes are al-Hayy (the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).
7- Seeking the help of Allah Alone.
8- Affirming one’s hope in Him.
9- Truly putting one’s trust in Him and leaving matters to Him, acknowledging that one’s forelock is in His hand and that He does as He wills, that His will is forever executed and that He is just in all that He decrees.
10- Letting one’s heart wander in the garden of the Qur’aan, seeking consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing in it from all diseases of the heart, so that it will bring comfort to his grief and healing for his worries and distress.
11- Seeking forgiveness.
12- Repentance.
13- Jihad.
14- Salah (prayer).
15- Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving matters to the One in Whose hand they are.
We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound from worries and to relieve us of distress and anxiety, for He is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive, and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal.
Undoubtedly these matters are of great benefit in attaining happiness and peace of mind, as well as bringing the hope of reward in this world and in the Hereafter. This is something which is well known from the experience of many who have tried it.
hmm…yes i am happy..that is a feeling coming from bottom of our mind..thematerialistic life does not have heart to feel the happiness, that life brings an dramatical feeling which has the span of fraction of a second. Forget your materialistic life..live with heart, in hearts, you will be happy. Loka samastha sughino bhavanthu..
Un proverbe arabe dit « Travail pour ta vie comme si vous allez vivre éternellement, et travailler pour l’au-delà comme si vous deviez mourir demain »
si , esta descripcion habla con mi corazon, gracias.
totalmente de acuerdo…la felicidad a veces es inconciente y cuando te das cuenta, se te va…
Disa -
“Aikido is not a technique to fight or defeat an enemy . It is the way to reconcile the world and make human beings one family” O-Sensei
Makes a lot of sense to me.
Love to see children learning it too. in the ACP children’s class.
Thanks for the quote.
Love
Marie-Christine
Disa -
“Aikido is not a technique to fight or defeat an enemy . It is the way to reconcile the world and make human beings one family” O-Sensei
Makes a lot of sense to me.
Love to see children learning it too. in the ACP children’s class.
Thanks for the quote.
Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-L6rEmOrny
Cats Musical – Memory
Right. And the secret of contentment is knowing what you have and be able to lose desire for things beyond your reach. I guess it goes the same with happiness. :)
I agree with Maria. Contentment is the closest thing to happiness. Contentment with who you are and the path you are to travel in your life and accepting with awe your uniqueness. Living by your own standards and understanding and accepting your own power and ability.
Well i absolutely agree with it is FAITH that keeps up moving with enthusiam if we believe in god we can never fear anything
and Living without fear is happiness
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