This is a question that has not bothered me for a long time, precisely because I don’t know how to answer it.
Some people seem to be happy: they just do not think about it. Others make plans: “I’m going to have a husband, a home, two children, and a house in the country”. While this keeps them occupied, they are like bulls looking for the bullfighter: they don’t think, they just keep moving forward. They manage to get their car – sometimes even a Ferrari – and they think that the meaning of life lies there, so they never ask the question. Yet, despite all that, their eyes betray a sadness that they themselves are quite unaware of.
I don’t know if everyone is unhappy. I do know that people are always busy: working overtime, looking after the kids, the husband, the career, the university degree, what to do tomorrow, what they need to buy, whatever it is they need to have in order not to feel inferior, and so on.
Few people have ever told me: “I’m unhappy”. Most say: “I’m fine, I’ve managed to get all I ever wanted”.
So then I ask: “What makes you happy?”
They answer: “I have everything that a person can dream of – a family, a home, work, good health”.
I ask again: “Have you ever stopped to wonder if that is all there is to life?”
They answer: “Yes, that’s all there is”.
I insist: “So the meaning of life is work, the family, children who grow up and leave you, a wife or husband who will become more like a friend than a true love-mate. And one day the work will come to an end. What will you do when that happens?”
They answer: there is no answer. They change the subject. But there is always something hidden there: the owner of a firm who has still to close the deal he has always dreamed of, the housewife who would like to have more independence or more money, the new graduate who wonders whether he has chosen his career or has had it chosen for him, the dentist who wanted to be a singer, the singer who wanted to be a politician, the politician who wanted to be a writer, and the writer who wanted to be a peasant.
In this street where I am sit writing this column and looking at the people passing by, I bet that everyone is feeling the same thing. That elegant woman who has just walked by spends her days trying to stop time, controlling the bathroom scales, because she thinks love depends on that. On the other side of the street I see a couple with two children. They live moments of intense happiness when they go out with their kids, but at the same time their subconscious is busy thinking about the job they might not get, the tragedies that might occur, how to get over them, how to protect themselves from the world.
I leaf through magazines filled with famous people: everybody laughing, everybody very happy. But since this is a segment of society that I am quite familiar with, I know it is not like that: everyone is laughing or enjoying themselves at the moment that photo is taken, but at night, or in the morning, the story is always quite different. “What can I do to keep on appearing in the magazine?”, “how can I disguise not having enough money to afford all this luxury?” or “how can I manage this life of splendor to make it even more luxurious, more expressive than other people’s?”, “the actress whom I am seen with in this photo, laughing and having a great time, she could steal my part tomorrow!”, or “I wonder if my clothes are nicer than hers. Why do we smile so much if we loathe one another?”
To end, I recall the words of Jorge Luis Borges: “I will not be happy any more, but that doesn’t matter, / there are many other things in this world”.
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Happiness is in the moment.
Dear Paulo, I am from Croatia and one our famous poet once said;
It’s strange how it’s little necessary to be happy, but it’s more strange how that little is always missing.
maybe I didn’t translate this good as it is, but I know that You will understand the point.
Bye
I agree that happiness is fluid. It is there when I can look out the window and just think “wow.”
Dear Paulo,
I believe in the wise words of the great philosopher Socrates, “Know Yourself”. In order to truly be happy I believe on should first know yourself, otherwise one will always doubt if one is truly happy. If you don’t know yourself, but still have your hearts desires, you will eventually falter. That little emptiness of knowing who you really are will catch up to you and soon you are asking again “Am I Happy?”. Are You.
Best Regards
I believe this is a good question, which I also tried to answer recently (aiming for a more “scientific” definition), have a look at http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/08/what-is-happiness/
Comments are very much welcome!
Dear Paulo,
I do know happiness but I do not know what is happiness.
It comes and it goes, it leaves lovely traces on my mind in my soul.
It gives me wings and when it flies away it lurks just behind next corner awaiting to touch me agai.
I do not know what is happiness
but
I do know happiness.
Love
Luce
I always find myself thinking about this question?
What make us happy??? soemtimes i think if am i unresponsable or what, because i usually dont stress , believing that those things i cant change are just part of life…
I belive happiness is a state of mind, and no matter the situtation someone goes by , we all humans are call to TRY to be happy… specially since nothing last forever.
I want many things in life, those things we call normal and understand makes life happy , a career, a great job, a family , a good husband nd kids, but since i´ve seen many ppl has that and is nop happy , at least i want peace of mind and feel happy with what life gives me or the dreams i accomplish ….
Having the things we want usually make us happy, but nothing is sure apart from death so according to that i understand our happiness cant depend from something material.
:) feeling happy and positive about life is an attitude and a choice ! ah also a right ;).
There is no continuous state of happiness simply moment by moment. The essence of which causes a rapture beyond the bliss associated with the mundane.
As we are human, we cannot fully obtain the true nature of happiness.
happiness is about containment.it is about fullfillment. It is about the felling of being able to do what you think you were meant to do…
Regards
Ik think only moments of happiness exists. if you re lucky you feel satisfied most of the rest of the time. If not, it makes you happy to think that you can try to become more happier.
the art of happiness is to be happy when reached the stade that you feel good and peacefull most of the time. But there s the trigger.. one always thinks there s more.. more more.. more more ..its like we find ourselves reasons to feel the adrenaline of anxiety, worry, fears etc.. I always thought there must be a reason to be happy but sometimes everything is difficult,very painfull and lonely but i can still feel happy .. just like that , even if its only for an hour. …Thats by the way always when i do NOT think;-)
Dear all,
Happiness is emptiness,a stage where self is awake and total Juvenal, ecstasy and pleasure is felt in heart.
God bless you all !
Happiness is over-rated. I think a person is happy when they are on their path, but this doesn’t mean that they are smiling all the time.
I can be happy and crying for that matter!
But ultimately, I believe, a person is happy when they have the freedom to follow their personal legend, even with all the trials, tribulations, and moments of sadness and what not!!
love
C.
Key to happiness: An open heart, becoming like a little child.
Jill
los hijos no se van.. se mudan.. y no siempre… y quien dijo que el verdadero amor consiste en pasion eterna?
The secret of happiness is to live in the present… most of the causes of unhappiness are either related to events in the past that only exist in our mind, or thoughts about the future.
I love this question Paulo, thank you!
Happiness is an emotion. I feel it as other emotions, like fluid. Not a thing pursued – like a butterfly chased or hunted for. But prefer Joy (god, love) because that lives inside.
Much Love to All : ) xo
Happiness is when we are satisfied with what we’ve got even if it is a little, when we’re satisfied with our efforts to improve.
I know that seeking development comes from unsatisfaction, therefore you can only improve if you not satisfied with what you have. We should all think of the MOMENT that is the secret for hapiness, not living in the past and not worring so much about what hapens in the future.
you never know what tomorrow holds for you, From the words of allah: be cautious to like something bad for you and be cautious to hate something good for you without knowing.
Be the best you can in every moment )
Para mi:
…Felicidad are those moments that you smile, which radiates through your entire being …
May you all have plenty of these moments
are you really happy? how can one be happy? how can we all be happy?
“Money doesn’t bring happiness, Money order to bring it.”
“Dinheiro não traz felicidade, manda buscar”
Can money bring happiness?
a state of mind-happiness,
the more we understand things in and around us,
and make the ‘right’choices-we are happy..
we could be happy all the time
-and actually we should be.
‘our mind should be in the house of happiness,
and our heart in the house of sadness’
happiness is bonheur, alegria, making the most of the day, sharing an orange,watching a child jumping a poodle,a nice smell, beautiful music, touching a tree, watching a sunset, etc
i hope my note will pass modration cz here it a diffirent idea i give .i read all comments so i wanted my article to be read i beleive in deversity and changing ideas.thank you
wish everybody will be happy
good expereimnet (?) paulo !
holding back comments from readers for sometime.
when all od us know so much about happiness ! are we happy ?
love
aditya
Hola: Como he leído en otras respuestas LA FELICIDAD es un estado de ánimo. Es saber vivir, sabar dosificar lo poco o mucho que uno tiene. Y uno puede tener mucho o poco dinero, mucha o poca inteligencia. De igual modo, mientrás haya deseos siempre algo va a faltar. El Yogui nos dice que el único deseos que debemos tener es el de realizar a Dios o sea LA FELICIDAD. Y que debemos ver a Dios en todas las cosas. DIOS ES TODO. ¿ESO ES FELICIDAD?. Ahora bajemos, cómo hace el hombre común, padre de familia para ver todo igual que el que sólo medita en un templo y esta tranquilo sin problemas de alimentación, frío, etc. El hombre común, en un mundo tan lleno de competencias y avaricias, sabe que el mundo esta en perfecto equilibrio que hay abundancia para todos. Que si falta algo en un país es por que otro pais hace acopio. La falta de justicia nos hace INFELICES. Como decía Vivekananda hablar de justicia social es una conversación de niños. A veces pienso que siendo ignorante hay más posibilidades de alcanzar la FELICIDAD. No veo en ésta ERA la manera de alcanzar la tan ansiada felicidad. Por supuesto que tengo momentos de gran felicidad, pero eso momentos, por ejemplo, me hace feliz leer un buen libro, escuchar buena música, oirlo cantar a Sai Baba (traten escuchar los temas de los CD Embodiment in love). Queridos no quiero amargar a nadie pero cómo puedo ser feliz si hay gente en el mundo que muere de inanición y que de momento sólo hay proyectos para tratar de salvar a esa gente. Saludos y como decía Muktananda (creador de SIDDA YOGA) OM NAMA SHIVAIA, saludo tu ser interior.
I don’t know what happiness is. I have felt contentment occasionally. I have felt joy. I have read that all growth comes from lack of contentment. I know I am strong because I have suffered and survived.
I have learned to feel content with myself occasionally. It is my highest goal since I believe all actions toward others is actions toward the self. I have sensed the unity of All. I know my actions cause reactions throughout the universe, but turning that knowledge into wisdom requires an emotional commitment … a surrender… which I am learning how to make.
To me, happiness resides in the surrender, but then it’s still a myth in my life, an unproven. When I surrendered as a child, I was rewarded with pain, so I stopped trusting. Doing is easier than letting go… trusting… which is necessary for that happiness. On the other hand, maybe all goals lead to happiness… as long as they remain unattainable.
In my point of view happiness is a decision, a mind mood.
I think it is so difficult to define the parameters of happiness. It is true Paulo that it is so much easier to witness unhappiness than it is to define what happiness actually is.
However, several broad ideas come to mind when I think about what happiness means to me:
* Peace of mind
* The nourishment of love: Firstly the positive love of self. Secondly, love given. And thirdly, love received.
* Faith: In self, in loved-ones and in a greater meaning (for each this greater meaning is different).
* Dreams: To allow oneself to dream and have the courage to pursue ones dream.
* Hope: Remaining positive no matter the situations.
* Honesty: self-honesty and honesty to others.
Since I got sick with Thyroid 3 years ago the question of “What is Happiness” is one of the things that got me thinking. I found myself on a different path than I the one I was walking on. I guess major changes in your life can do that to you.
I have always been very spiritual and I am an eager student. After being “forced” to slow down due to my health, my eyes are widened to what is around me and within myself. I have had to make difficult decisions in order to put my own well being first which is something I still need to get used to. My own Gift that I have embraced since I was 7 years old after my late Grandfather came to say goodbye in my dreams has developed vastly. There were times when through my frustrations and tears I would ask the common question, “Why me? I just want to be happy.” I know that God listens since most of my questions have been answered while the rest I am sure will be revealed to me. I realized that my Faith always get me through the hurricane.
The blog above describes very fluently the daily situations of most people. I can relate to it. I understand and some of the descriptions are sadly true.
Giving energy but not receiving is also one of the things that will affect your happiness, I think. I am a Giver. I find joy in giving and I think it is one of my tasks in life but I have learned to also surround myself with other “Energy Givers” if I were to maintain balance for myself. I am of no use to others when empty.
“What is Happiness?” I believe that it is a feeling and state of mind that cathes you off guard and you spend a life time trying to make it stay. We are humans so this is hard to do since our emotions and logic sometimes get in the way. I think that learning to embrace your destiny, having joy in the simple things and appreciating what you have will make this journey more simple and enoyable thus, happy.
I find that I can be in a state of happiness when I just “let go”. Have faith of what may come and count my blessings. Love myself and others and trust that everything happens for a reason. Love is the key to happiness. Love and all its risks.
Perhaps this poem I wrote for my next book can describe my answer to “What is Happiness”:
HEART AND MIND
The heart wants-
what it can’t have-
and blames the mind-
when all is lost.
The mind longs-
what the heart desires-
but when pain arrives,
it’s an ungraceful host.
When the heart cries,
the mind soothes.
When the mind is broken,
the heart mends it.
When heart and mind-
become one,
Oh what a joy,
what pleasurable fun.
By: Devi Amanullah
Copyright 2009
Happiness is something that does not have an exact definition.Different people have Different take on this.One would be better off not to try and explore it as the more you seek it the more it eludes you.
I am not sure happiness can be truly defined – nor can unhappiness, because for each and every person they are defined differently. Perhaps that is what makes it so elusive -the lack of a black and white definition. ‘Happy’ may be only a moment, or it may be a lifetime – and who is to say truly, if the former is any less than the latter. For me, happiness is contentment, the pause in the daily grind of doing… the time between finished and about to start again. Happy is what makes the cracks at the corners of my eyes deepen… even if it is for but a moment or for a lifetime. :)
Paulo,
I do not believe that Happiness exists…life is a constant rollercoaster of emotions that is always moving, changing, and with each moment we grow and our souls are fed by our experiences. Happiness or joy, sadness or sorrow, fear and strength, none of these states can be continuously sustained. But I believe in contentment and peace and that this comes from acceptance – accepting these emotions, not fighting them, really feeling them and allowing them to touch our souls and the souls of others. Then we can be free, free to express ourselves, touch others and be content. This is my goal.
Lots of love to you,
Betty
Happiness is whatever we choose.
We can choose to be happy, or we can choose not to be happy, irrespective of the circumstance.
How often do we read of yet another celebrity destroying their life despite what they are fortunate enough to have and how many times do you see an image of a third world village with people laughing, dancing and smiling?
So I wonder to myself why I choose not to be happy so often!
So Paulo, are you happy?
FELICIDAD es la capacidad de ser libre para elegir metas teniendo confianza en uno mismo para luchar incasablemente hasta conquistarlas.
I feel happiness is there in feeling content. Sometimes for small small petty reasons we become happy, like when we dance with full joy, passion and rhythem that gives a feeling of content, that could be happiness. Sometimes when we eat any delicious food one may feel happiness.
It is so joyful in sharing friends emotions and in understanding them, there we may find happiness. when we pray or sing, be calm and try to maintain peaceful condition in any adverse condition that gives immense blissful condition which i would like to say as happiness.
De ce lever le matin et se dire comment ne pas être heureux avec tout se qui nous entoure
When are we happy? When we find ourselves in those moments where we feel everything is going our way, when we are surrounded by people we want to share life with and when we learn something out of life that before didn’t make sense to us. We are happy when we are filled with joy, satisfaction, achievement; when our dreams are realized.
But happiness should be more than this. Happiness should come from appreciation and gratitude. Even when we find ourselves in a stormy patch of life we need to focus one what we have and not what we have lost or not have at the moment.
Even when you are an innocent man put in jail, you have to find joy in your health when others are dying, the chocolate bar you can enjoy when others are starving, the 1 hour phone call you get to talk to your family for while others don’t even know where their family members are.
Finding happiness out of the smallest things in life can change your mindset and make you survive the saddest times in your life.
Only you, yourself, choose to be happy or surrender to fear, sadness and depression. Only you can laugh instead of cry. Only you can smile instead of frown.
Happiness comes from being at peace with what you have in every moment in time.
may b i could not get exact words to describe but something is compelling me do so. well sir, happiness is a feeling, a soothing jester and mostly it comes as a current wave that seems to enter from head and leaves,leaving behind a sense of relaxation..
i have defined it as my magical moment and its very much similar to that if one feels, it may come while recalling your CREATOR or while remembering the one you love or the one u desire, by doing any act of kindness that provides you intrinsic motivation keeping in mind that kindness has the same parameters as that of humanity.it matters upon faith also and the extent of strength of beliefs.sometimes the wave is achieved while taking a deep breath after the long hectic day.
that’s all..
if u have ever experienced that wave,the magical current in your body, then do reply me.
regardz
Thought provoking article. Happiness means different things to different people. The question to ask is what has always made us happy regardless of age.
Lovely thought provoking post. I will walk the Camino de Santiago for the first time in September.
I am trying to shed all my opinions, ideas and believes about myself, others, life, love and religion and spirituality. I want to walk with an open mind to be filled with whatever the Caminohas to offer me.
Maybe I will find some answers to this and other things
Rita
I am happy to have come across this entry today and also really appreciate that you wrote about this subject, because I have been searching for it for all my life. And starting from the conclusion,I still do not really know how to answer it either. But one thing that I can share is this. For last couple of months, I am feeling better than ever in last 10+ years of my life. And the only thing that seems to have changed is the energy in me. It may sound little odd to some people, but maybe, maybe, happiness is just an energy. The innate energy that is within everybody, but could be affected by outer & inner influences, such as outer circumstances, people or beliefs etc….so maybe needs to be trainded to keep it alive within you. Definition about “happiness” could vary depends on people, because not everyone has the same values about life. But, when you meet someone who has a kind of “happy” energy that you want to have, probably you just sense it. A lot of people say happiness is a state of mind. I agree. But, if you ask what it is exactly, then maybe it is just a energy. That’s my answer I have reached so far :)
Thank you for letting me share this. It was fun!
…this topic seems to be a tough one. Zero comments. So what is “happiness”? It is a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Period. But is this the answer to the wise text above and its deep underlying human significance? Hardly. Therefore we have to reword the question. Is it about the frequently invoked meaning of life? Is there such a thing? Or is it rather about obtaining a state of peace of mind? Are we, human beings, supposed to be “happy”? Is perceived happiness just “Soma” for us people to keep us quiet and functioning? Is life about living our inherent human potential to the fullest and enjoying the feeling of happiness as a consequence? Or can happiness be generated artificially? Without any preceding meaningful action? Can I just sit there and be happy? However, it is complex. It seems to me that we human beings have, on the one hand, some kind of elemental mission to fulfill during our lifetime. A profound nature-inherent mission which we cannot argue about. On the other hand we have the ability to reflect about our doing, as no other creature on this planet can. We are even able to ponder about our thinking and feeling. Actually, this is what we are doing right now. And this is where all the trouble starts. Or is it rather the potential for hope, profound meaning, and true value which goes hand in hand with this unique ability? I believe we have to distinguish between the feelings of superficial short-term happiness and substantial insight-based satisfaction. I am sure we can live a quite happy life by just following our “god-given” mission, without questioning anything. But is this kind of life really saturated with deep inner value? Do we live our lives to the fullest by pursuing the mission blindly? Just being compliant? Or are we supposed to make full use of our abilities, being naughty and egoistic? Daring pure non-compliance? In order to answer these questions we need a useful point of reference. But what could constitute an all-embracing benchmark for our lives? Is there such a thing? Can there be one at all? Or is life too complex and individual to be measured by only one yardstick? Certainly. Nevertheless we all seem to share a common understanding of a fulfilled life. At least concerning the core of it. We just live it in different forms and on different levels, trying to achieve the best we can be. However, on this journey we are advised not to be too considered towards conformity. Instead leading a self-determined life without fearing temporary falls and encompassing resentments, strongly believing in ourselves and our very own individual path where no one else can follow. Certainly in peace with our human nature and society. Otherwise we are doomed to fight a war we cannot win. So in conclusion, without having defined the exact location of the greater transcendent bliss we are all searching for, we can be content with having all our abilities and the consequent possibilities. We just have to make use of them. And happiness will follow…
Happiness for me at this moment is living for nothing. To have no expectations, no longings, knowing I will loose my job next week, knowing I have to go to hospital next month (I’m not dieing!), knowing I will have to live off the government until I find a new job. But then I am very lucky, although I have no savings, I know I have a supportive loving family around me (along with the dog, my sisters cat and my own cat), every morning I look out the window and see the Cliffs in the distance across the bay, the air is fresh, I have some new good friends and a clean social circle, we just watched Endeavour flying across the sky like a UFO. I have my books and traditional studies. I have the dream of going on a week’s holiday in the sunshine, when I scrape the money together asap. Everything is as it should be.
If anyone was ever able to define happiness, I very much doubt he’d do the mankind, or even himself for that matter, a favour. The concept/notion of happiness has so many manifestations and connotaions that giving it one precise definition would result in the loss of cultural, ethnic and individual uniqueness. Happiness is not meant to be defined, it is meant to be experienced and enjoyed. It is a blessing when you realize, enjoy and apprecite happiness at the very moment of happiness, not as an afterthought.
I’ agree with you, is hard to tell what happiness is, in part I think because the way we have been educated. Most people that form part of this process in our life, have a different approach to happiness or give to happiness a different significance, they teach us something that just with time some of us understand isn’t true, not because the were wrong but because, the sense we give to happiness is very personal and unique. I’m very young, but I think I have found my sense of happiness, since March I’ve found that happiness for me is about love, gratitude, help and faith. I ‘m learning to see at everything with positive eyes, to see everything as a gift, and that single fact makes my life so much easy, that regardless everything may be happen, I feel so much peace and harmony. I can assure I’m happy, because all I need is inside me and is provided for my inner hero. Nothing is an obstacle but a lesson.
Muitas vezes achamos que a felicidade está nas coisas materiais, mas esquecemos que ela está dentro de nós, nas coisas pequenas que nos rodeiam… é da natureza humana achar que quanto mais se tem, mais feliz será!
Um grande beijo e sucesso.
Caro Paulo,
Obrigado outra vez pela sua escrita maravilhosa e magnifica. Suas palavras na definição da felicidade são tão verdadeiro – parece que prosseguimos sempre a felicidade e é e por causa disto nós não reconhecemos quando chega realmente!
Com os meus respeitosos cumprimentos e votos de muita saúde,
Adela Milena
Just like Peter, who asked our Lord to help him walk on the waters. And Jesus said:”Keep staring at me , don’t cut your eyes from mine and you will also walk on the waters”. So did Peter. But the moment when he looked down to his feet to see how its happening , he sunk.
Juat like peter, who asked our Lord to make him walk on the waters. And Jesus said:Keep staring at me , don’t cut your eyes from mine and you will also walk on the waters. So did Peter. But the moment when he looked down to his feet to see how its happening , he sunk.
Ahhhh!!! Lately while contemplating happiness myself, I think- yes, there is a sadness enveloping the world. Noone can deny it anymore. It has hit the best of them, the richest of them, the most profiled of them all- everyone in my counrty has finally aknowledged the false happiness which was our “stable land.” The land that gives and gives and gives. When will everyone understand love is a two way street! or three-way or four- LOL
As for the “fakeness” of the industry- it’s always been that way -name o’ the game-o – is what it is! I think it’s funny! – sometimes. But also…so sad…like clown sad…
Where are you anyway??
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