Quote of the Week

by Paulo Coelho on September 14, 2009

No one can lose anyone, because no one owns anyone.
Paulo Coelho

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{ 283 comments… read them below or add one }

Homeira Moshtagh September 21, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Hi dear Paulo
Is it true?!…
Oh what a relief!!!
Thanks

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Razyel September 21, 2009 at 11:57 am

Ho Bisogno del contatto diretto con Paulo o con chi puo’ gestire delle informazioni da rivolgere direttamente a lui! La mia email porta il suo nome e vi prego di contattarmi al piu’ presto! Non e’ uno scherzo ne una cazzata da fan perche’ non ho miti o personaggi che adoro! So’ che ho del materiale interessante per lui! Fatemi arrivare a parlarci anche se non direttamente ! ALLA DIREZIONE DEL BLOG E A CHI PUO’ AIUTARMI! paulocoelho777@yahoo.it

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jessica September 21, 2009 at 7:53 am

Es cierto nadie le pertenece a nadie, pero que hay de cuando tu te llevas a alguien en el corazon. Eso que te llevas de esa personaes tuyo y de nadie mas. Aunque esa persona este en otra parte, viviendo su vida con alguien mas, siempre estara contigo por que tu asi lo deseas. Se convierte en tu despertar y anochecer, va a todas partes contigo, incluso te cuida y te da consejos. Pienso que por que aun que no este contigo fisicamente tu alma y la de esa otra persona ya quedaron ligadas para siempre. Y se que tal vez digan que no soy normal por decir estas locuras pero creanme lo he experimentado yo misma. El alma es algo tan fragil y tan especial que uno se puede quedar perdido en alguna parte con alguna persona. Nadie es dueno de nadie pero uno mismo decide a quien se lleva en el corazon.
En cuanto a ser autoritario con un novio o novia eso ya es otro tema, aburrido por cierto, por que el machismo abunda en mi cultura y pues es tema que no pasara a caducar.

Mi idea se centra mas en: “eres mio por que yo lo decido, no te molesto, ni te causo ningun dolor, pero eres mio por que te llevo en el corazon y no te olvido, tengo todavia tu sabor en los labios y aun recuerdo la luz de tu mirada, tu voz, y todo eso que en algun momento de nuestro caminar compartimos, eso es mio, tu eres mio hasta que decida dejarte ir de mi corazon y de mi vida, eres mio aunque tu no lo sepas, ere mio aunque no me pertenescas.”

Chicos los dejo estoy cansada, voy a dormir…
hasta pronto.

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Elaine Stevens September 21, 2009 at 4:30 am

Namaste,
I love this quote. I learned this concept years ago, I think from Taoism. It’s helped me through life.

Love to you

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THELMA September 20, 2009 at 9:04 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8JI_wlNEck
When I need you.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx

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THELMA September 20, 2009 at 8:57 pm

As long as we love someone, think of him, dream of him, have him in our heart and mind his belongs to us and our … world!
As an English song from my times says: ‘When I need you I just close my eyes and I am with you…’!!!
If this is .. mutual then it is Paradise! ;-]
LOVE,
Thelma xxx

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barbara May 27, 2011 at 12:24 pm

That is such a nice song I believe Julio Iglesis sings it too! Sometimes it is easier sung than done, as my husband lives 2 hours away from me and my son, bacause he is making the way for us to come there and live there it is hard to not have him here, of course we can talk endlessly on the phone everyday but sometimes it is not enough:( I still miss his presence, his touch and just holding hands as we do walking down the street…

tatamimi September 20, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Être normal c’est être conforme aux normes sociales ou à celles d’un groupe auquel on appartient ou l’on souhaite appartenir. Être normal c’est être un masque réfléchissant ce qu’on attend de vous en tant qu’individu faisant parti d’une catégorie sociale déterminée. Pour y parvenir il faut se démunir de tout signe distinctif physique ou moral. Il faut s’effacer dans la foule, s’imprégner des tendances actuelles, être quelqu’un de branché!! Il faut s’habiller, se coiffer, se comporter suivant des modèles fixes afin d’affirmer son appartenance à un ensemble déterminé.
Être normal peut être considéré comme une notion géographique qui change de figure suivant le lieu. Ce qui est normal ici, ne l’est pas forcément là bas. Être normal c’est être le prophète des valeurs qui font la distinction d’une culture mais qui affirment surtout la conformité et l’homogénéité du groupe.
Ceci ne rime-t-il pas avec la richesse culturelle de ce monde?
Donc il n’y a pas un seul être normal mais il y en a plusieurs différents suivant leur origine (là c’est la théorie de relativité d’Einstein qui s’applique) et qui se discutent le pouvoir dans ce monde. On cherche à aller plus loin en harmonisant les critères de normalité par une arme fatale qui s’appelle la mondialisation. Une arme contre l’originalité, la tolérance,..contre l’humain…

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Savita Vega September 20, 2009 at 4:18 pm

“If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it’s yours;
if it doesn’t, it never was.”

I like this saying a lot, but I would probably change it to read:

If you love something, set it free.
If it continues to come back, it’s yours,
but only for as long as it stays of its own free will.
If it doesn’t come back, just remember
that it was never really “yours” anyway.

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Alexandra September 21, 2009 at 8:59 am

Hmmmmmmmmm. Sounds great, but why taking the risk???
I talk about all the tests to see ” he/she really loves me”?
Is fair?

rosa de los vientos September 20, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Me gusta mucho. Gracias Pablo

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ecodasfolhas September 20, 2009 at 3:04 pm

We are all one, nature is against us,for our faults, or for our missed acts, we need compassion, ethics and balance, we need to be born again.Union for surviving.

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Jayachandran September 20, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Definitely a lovely quote.

I’ve been pondering over the lost relationship with a friend of mine for the past three days. But when I go through the quote now, I belive that I’ven’t lost him, but he is always with me. He has his own identity and I’ve mine. Yes, I cannot lose him, because I don’t own him. It’s truely a detached attachment.

We come from nowhere and goes nowhere. We own nothing so lose nothing.

All the conversations are interesting.

Thanks for the quote.

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Ashwinji September 20, 2009 at 12:01 pm

Lovely conversations. Loved to read them, with much interest. Particularly, Thelma, Alexandra, Aditya, Savita Vega and Laxmi.
Keep it up.
Ashwinji

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THELMA September 20, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Ashwinji, thank YOU! Just join us!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx

Savita Vega September 20, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Nice to meet you, Ashwinji. Thanks! And as Thelma says, you needn’t just read – we’d love to hear your thoughts too.

Sincerely,
Savita

Laxmi September 20, 2009 at 9:18 pm

Thanks Ashwinji. As others said please feel free to join in.

love,
Laxmi

Lynn September 20, 2009 at 6:33 am

I have felt a strong reaction to this quote, since it was first published on Facebook….

I believe you can ~lose~ someone without “owning” them….. or -”ownership”…because between two people there is also “relationship” and/or “partnership”.

When two people seperate, from “relationship or partnership” … for, whatever reason, a loss occurs, a ~vacancy~ is created and a “mending” or “repair” of what was must take place.

But, I believe, it is not about “ownership”…more about re-structuring, re-buildingand often about growth…

a friend of my young son, wrote an interesting status the other day – “I have learnt more from what I have left or lost, than from what I have kept”

best thoughts….

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jeroem September 20, 2009 at 2:58 am

memories are engraved in our hears and minds even surgery cant take it away. we never lose anyone. we never lose the memories. not until we become old and be forgetful. worse, amnesia.

today is yesterday. leave it behind or bring it with you.

http://jrmlchglvd.wordpress.com/

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salman September 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm

We are brought into this world empty handed from a place unknown, only possession being the devine love that nurtures us all thorugh our lives till we are taken back to where we belong. As we grow up we our vision gets blinded by the veil of materialistic pursuits and possessions. We believe that not only worldly things but also the people in our lives are our possession. We own them etc. For most of us this blindness goes from bad to worse as our life progressess. Every new success every new achievement blinds us further so much so that we fails to understand that this life is just a dream and we will have to wake out of it some day for sure. Millions have come and gone, they came empty handed and left empty handed – they even had to leave their bodies behind. We are like machines say a computer our body is the hardware but the life what makes this machine run is the software and thats our soul. Soul has no form or shape – its the reflection of the devine and is drawn to the creator. It longs for the union where in the lover becomes one with the love. So where is the question of owning or losing someone or something. When you are not even master of your ownself how can you own someone else. Its something that ignorant people use to help themselves live a lower life.

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Satora September 19, 2009 at 8:54 pm

“Always On Your Side”

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
My demons and my angels reappear
Leavin’ only traces of the man you thought I’d be
Too afraid to hear the words I always feared
Leavin’ you with only questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn’t how it’s really meant to be
No it isn’t how it’s really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I’m left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I’m always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn’t how it’s really meant to be
No it isn’t how it’s really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin’ me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

Sheryl Crow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0nvlpxHKpY

Yes….”Sting” again….

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Catherine September 19, 2009 at 4:40 pm

i used to listen to sting all the time.

yet if you have to let them ‘be free’ then it is saying love has binded one to another a little too strongly…
surely, there is no right to let them go free.. in the first place.

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Catherine September 19, 2009 at 4:41 pm

ie: they were never belonging to another in the first place.

people in love often make this mistake…

THELMA September 20, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Yes I agree that real love is free to be where it wants to be.., dear Paul. In fact we cannot … exercise any power on Her. She overpowers us!! But our … souls aren’t locked up in cage?? Our material bodies??
We value the freedom of others and ours too, but if a relationship makes us feel ‘prisoners’ then we are, for sure, in the wrong .. place! ;-] And there are so many … frogs in the hot water, as Paulo Coelho, says.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx

Catherine September 20, 2009 at 7:28 pm

you can see paul i felt that also.

especially after having a boyfriend who made me feel guilty for leaving him.. wanting my ‘freedom’ back. he was a bit dominating over my character.. and i didnt like that.
ironically… his song for me was the sting.. every breath you take, ill be watching you…
mwhahahahaaa x ;o)

Alexandra September 19, 2009 at 4:18 pm

Very nice. Thank you
Love
Alexandra

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Catherine September 19, 2009 at 3:51 pm

.. i think so..
but perhaps we lose touch with someone..
ie: who they are..

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Catherine September 19, 2009 at 4:38 pm

and lose them also when we lose their respect.. and they ours.

THELMA September 19, 2009 at 3:49 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U_S_ffmc6A&feature=related
Sting, singing.

Oh Paul, I think that Sting is not ‘in love’ .. ;-]

‘Love is EROS without wings’. Lord Byron.

Yes if we love our children, we have to teach them how to .. fly snd .. set them free..
LOVE,
Thelma xxx

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Satora September 19, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Satora September 19, 2009 at 7:09 pm
nima September 19, 2009 at 12:41 am

i love some one else and get marry with some one else.
my husband xpress his love for me but i didnt feel the sme thing for him is it normal,shuld ichng my self with the time n try to forget the person whom i love so much as i feel that i will die if dparted from him,
one thing which make me surprized that i thought that i will die but i m still alive.then my love was fake?iwant to solve this mistry

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Monita September 18, 2009 at 11:17 pm

we are one….

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Johanne Mercille September 18, 2009 at 10:46 pm

Remember the best relationship is the one in which your love for each other exceeds your needs for each other.
Dalai Lama
Love Agape and Liberty to you all friends!
Jojo

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heart September 18, 2009 at 7:25 pm

i’m a married man who’s lost his hear to another woman

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heart September 18, 2009 at 7:26 pm

heartttttt and may i add soul

THELMA September 19, 2009 at 8:20 am

Karma or destiny, dear heart [male]!!
The Scales say: Follow your heart/live the lie/will you be happy with her?/will you be happy losing your wife?/is it for ..sex?/is it .. Ego/is it admiration?/how long do you think it will last?? and then ..you will lose your heart again for .. somebody else and hurt her too?

You see there are so many questions and possibilities and the ‘dialogue’ inside your head may continue indefinitely. ;-]

You may follow your instincts, heart .., but remember, never lose your dignity and self-respect. ‘Que sera sera!

LOVE,
Thelma xxx

ipshita September 18, 2009 at 9:43 am

Yes, including our own selves.

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Marie September 18, 2009 at 11:54 pm

I absolutely agree with what you say. For respect the others, it’s necessary to respect first of all oneself.
I think that love allows not to get lost. It’s important to live the dreams which are ourselves.

For the marriage, I pointed this out : we are enticed by a person and as soon as we decide to live together, we cross a lot of energy to want to make change this person. It’s strange because it’s really his personality who enticed us at first ! For me, sincere dialogue and respect for other one are foundations so that each can bloom. Like itself and that each is its own breathing.

Alexandra September 18, 2009 at 8:08 am

Maybe we make sweeter the athmosphere with that song. Is fit for the topic?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foXy8gVKgog

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Heart September 18, 2009 at 2:38 am

In marriage two people do give themselves to each other, and own each other to some extent, not as an object that can be left on the mantelpiece, but person to person, with commitments and responsibilities to each other. Separated, two people who love each other, will feel a great loss, and only wait for once again to be reunited.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, provided you like to live in an institution, said Grouncho Marx. Marriages supposedly are made in heaven. With a divorce rate of more than half of all marriages, the reality is, marriages are like a living hell. We wish to live happily ever after, but is it pure fantasy? Perhaps the fact partners see themselves as a thing they own, marriages ends up with hatred and being unfaithful to each other. So we try different arrangements; Open marriage. Conventional marriage. Living together without getting married. Bisexual marriages. Homosexual marriages. Celibate Marriages. A married couple who hate each other might want to figure out some solutions before one of them kill the other!

The strange thing is; Most murders of husbands or wives take place when one of them wants to leave the other. If I cannot own him/her, nobody else will have him/her either. Living such a agony together, one would think it would be a relief for both to split. Nope, this is not how it works. The minute one wants to leave, then lets destroy that person, because he/she is not mine anymore.

‘No one can loose anyone, because no one owns anyone’ is an ideal statement for two extraordinary free souls, with little reference to the real world. Myself, I have never managed not to feel a loss when separating from loved ones, so must mean I believe I own them in my heart.

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Daniel September 18, 2009 at 5:27 am

I’ve always thought it was my head that loved like that, I think my heart knows better.

I also think there is a good argument for avoiding traditional marriage because it is an ancient contract that is steeped in traditions of ownership. When you enter the contract I believe it carries with it centuries of obligation whether you realise it or not. The words “til death do us part” are not to be taken lightly, and simply signing a divorce paper does not free you from them entirely either. If I get married again it will be for “as long as love lasts”.

Would a bird love you less if you set it free from a cage? And once it is gone, would you miss the music in your head or your heart?

With love, Daniel

Alexandra September 18, 2009 at 6:53 am

Ohhh, dont tell me. Nowadays in tv each day, I mean each day, I see a man, lover, husband, or father killing a woman, girl, for his idea that better she die than doing what she desire in here life. That does not help me in risking to be freely with a man, maybe is a part of the decision to be still not married. Yesterday the latest, in Italian news, a father of an muslim 18 girl killed him just because she wanted to be with her Italian Catholic friend. He tried to deffend her but get injured by father knife. The mother of the girl said soon after” was here fault, for she did not listen to the family…And she forgive tha husband , to grow up her kids with him”. Only that she did not thought maybe the murderer will never come out from jail. Only her best friend said she did not deserved such.
All this happened in Italy, not in Marocco. Still, people are not free even nowadays.

aditya September 18, 2009 at 8:20 am

HI heart !

modern man ( and woman too, increasingly becomming like men ) has become too materailistic, success at any cost, money by any means is increasingly becomming the motto, what is in it for me is the basic criteria. we want our friends, relatives to behave as we want them to, hardly ever examining what i want is right or not.

marriages and divorce are living hell mostly now a days, the spirit of accomodation, tolerance, sacrifice, of adjusting needs of others etc are becomming passe, hence this sad situation.

solutions are there, but who wants them, afterall it’s only one life we have and let us ‘enjoy’ everything we can is our way of life.

owenership is of two kinds one is of power where i have power over someone to tell him her what to do and how to do, second kind of ownership is that of responsiblity, where we go that extra mile to take care of the persons / things we own. i guess by saying that u own them in your heart, i am sure u have that responsibility angle in mind more prominently than the power angle.

love
aditya

Savita Vega September 18, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Another somewhat similar situation which sometimes incites murder: the government’s absolute insistence upon the payment of child-support. Many statistics show that there is a rising number of cases in this country in which men, fed up with paying child-support, murder either the mother or the child, or both. These dead-beat father’s would rather murder their own children or the child’s mom, than pay to support the child. I’m not saying that men should not be expected to pay child support, but the authorities (social workers and such) whose job it is to enforce the payment of child support should be trained to recognize cases where the enforcement of this law actually puts the mother and/or the child in grave physical danger.

In the case of my daughter, I do not receive child support nor do I allow the authorities to enforce the payment of it for precisely this reason. As a result, the government holds me as liable and actually “guilty” of withholding from my daughter what she should rightfully receive. No doubt, she should rightfully receive these payments, but I refuse to risk my life or hers in order to obtain some small pittance per month. Our safety and sense of peace is worth far more than that.

Crazy – how people react sometimes when they cannot have things their way.

jack September 17, 2009 at 9:51 pm

Whne married, in the eyes of God this is not true. In the world of man this is is how it is.

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Anass Khayati September 17, 2009 at 8:23 pm

No one can own any one, because we meant to be for god not for us.
because we’re just messengers all of us have a message to tell and when it’s done we just leave everything behind.

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Sasha September 17, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Buen dia con todos:
Creo que esa frase nos permite reconocer y aceptar que debemos dejar ir a las personas que mas amamos.
Porque finalmente lo que queda con nosotros es la energia del amor que nos inspiro y eso no lo perdemos.
Un abrazo

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Alexandra September 17, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Here says click for text or video reply. I did not notice. Is new?
How can we? I never saw here the videos replies.??????

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