Two years ago, I asked some friends the rules of normality. Let’s list more rules on how society expect us to behave, so not only can we leave a legacy to the next generation (see? That’s how THEY wanted us to become!) but we also can be very attentive in not following patterns that other are always trying to impose on us.
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My inventory of normality is in one of Warrior of Light Online newsletter, but I put it again here. Please check the post Sept 14 at 12:46 PM
So, I’m looking forward to hear from you your rules to be considered a normal person. By the way, this is in black and white, not normal, but very proper for this post.
Thank you!
Paulo
DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH (AS I DON’T WORRY ABOUT MINE). HOWEVER, IF YOU DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE, POST YOUR LIST IN YOUR MOTHER THONGE / NÃO SE PREOCUPE COM SEU INGLES, TODOS VAO ENTENDER. MAS SE SENTIR-SE MELHOR, COLOQUE EM PORTUGUES / NO SE PREOCUPE SU INGLES, PERO SI DESEA, PUEDES POSTAR EN ESPANOL
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Wearing heals in the office (women) just to complain about how much our feet hurt and the relief we get from removing them.
Creo Que servicio normal … seria servicio Uno Mismo.
there are no rules to be normal…just dont do any of the things that law defines as abnormal and you’ll be fine…this is to convince the society that you are “normal”…but in your personal life, in order to remain normal you have to find a significant other who can accept you for who you are and preferably of the opposite sex…you should be able to lead a ” ” happy ” ” life…its very chaotic if you start to define the act of being normal because it would differ from what collective knowledge or history defines it as…cheers.
Being normal? What a vast field to explore. Society wants us to act in certain ways, yes.
Living in USA it is kind of challenging because of the many different cultures, religions and such.
For me being normal is living according to one book that was written long before I was born, the Bible, as long as I respect others, as long as I live by the Golden Rule “Do Unto Others As You Have Them Done Unto You” than I consider myself normal, of course I struggle with it sometimes but don’t we all? One does not neccecerily have to be a catholic to follow that rule, because that rule is universal.
By “my” normalcy I feel I live fulfilled life, I am happier, and if someone considers it abnormal, well people have different perspectives. It’s like looking at a painting on the wall, one might say “it’s beautiful” one might say “I see it differently”.
To die for a religion is easier than to live it absolutely.
Jorge Luis Borges
Love Mr.Coelho, always (I am so sad I can not see you in NY)
Being normal for a woman of my age (32) is wanting and getting children. When I say that I don’t want children, people tell me that I’m soon going to change my mind because it’s “normal” for a woman to want children. Or abnormal, not to want some…
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Nadie es normal, si fuera así todos seriamos iguales. Ser normal es una máscara que la gente usa para no tener que descubrir a su verdadero yo.
It depends of who’s reviewing youre behaviour.
No matter what there’ll always be at least one person who will not see you as normal.
A friend recently asked me, “do you think you’re special, do you think anybody is special”, with a tone that suggested her belief to be no. I agreed with her – nobody is special. But what does special mean? Different, better, worse? And if nobody is special, then are we all “normal”?
I feel pressure from society (and myself) to be special, to be different, and be normal at the same time. How absurd is this? I am afraid to be normal and I am afraid to be too different…
Rule for being normal: be cautious with sharing your feelings/emotions.
Dear Lorenz!
In response to what you have written above I would like to add something from the animation movie “Kungfu Pnda”-”To know something to be special you just have to believe it is special as there is no recipe to special” You are special! I believe that and you have to believe that too.
Normal means uniform, or similar or accepted by the majority. It is a set of negotiated rules, affirmed and endorsed by the majority. The value of normality id relative from culture to culture, depends on aspects such as culture, geographic condition, etc.
Normal? You mean the opposite of abnormal? If we accept there is nothing abnormal since everything is part of this life, then its opposite «normal» doesn’t exist as well. It is just a definition which in really means «most common». (excuse my English but you encourage me not to care)
the normality is temperance .
Normal is when one follows the highest good. The action one takes to achieve the highest good may be radical, which may means behaving out of the familiarity. In the end, what does the society’s law mean if it’s not intended for the highest good of its people?
Regarding your quote:
“Haters are confused admirers who can’t understand why everybody loves you”
How could you say that when you know that there is not 1 person in this world that can please everyone because every individual has their own likes, dislikes, preferences & beliefs.
It’s not about hating, it’s what people don’t like and do not prefer.
Absolutely!! I don’t have to have anything in my life which I do not like nor anything attaching or reminding me of it!
Thank you for your view!
being normal means living like others want you to….taking the path they have trevelled…….regretting your life as they are doing…..making the life of your children worse by doing the same again.
its when i am bound to act the way contrary to what i feel because it is expected of me ,to behave as if i am fine as if nothing has happened..i cant cry cu i cant answer so many questions asked by everyone around me………ahhhh that is the plight of being NORMAL!!!!!!!!!
being normal for me is when people ask i will answer. when people tell joke, I will laugh with them. when people tell you sad story, I will cry. but it’s boring, sometimes we need to do something that out of the normality.
To be normal is sometimes to not do and say the things that come naturally to you due to obligations by society and opinions of other. I’ve always thought that one should do and say and feel exactly as they please, it’s a freedom you are born with. However, it is slowly taken away from us as we grow older and ‘mature’. Most people consider being mature as responsible in a boring sort of way and that if you are having fun or just simply doing the things you like you automatically become childish. In todays world, being normal means being boring. For example; on a certain day if you are happier than usual show it through excitement over small things it’s highly likely that people would consider you to be behaving in an abnormal sort of way. Society, these days pretends to be open minded to the new age and generation and their way of life. But the real problems are the ones that occur in our daily lives that have lead to the change in the new generation, and to think of it to be a huge issue over something as simple as freedom is ridiculous. Doing things differently does not always mean doing them incorrectly.
This made me smile and hopefully after your last post it will do the same for you:
The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There’s no future in time travel. :)
To be considered “normal” is to swear, obide, and take advice from everything in the media. It could be from what you watch on television, to what you read in the paper, to what you are taught in school. If you obey society’s demands without thinking for yourself, you will be considered “normal”.
TO BE NORMAL IS TO BE ABNORMAL…AS ONE IS EXPECTED NOT TO BEHAVE AS ONESELF BUT AS OTHERS EXPECT ONE TO.ITS SAD BUT WE ARE EXPECTED TO RESORT TO GENERAL NORMS AND NOT PERSONAL.A CHILD IS MOST NORMAL AS IT BEHAVES ITSELF.THEN HE IS CONDITIONED AND HIS SOUL IS CRIPPLED INTO A CAGE OF SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS…FALSE IDEAS OF GOOD AND BAD FOR SOCIAL CONVENIENCE…………AND ALL HIS LIFE HE IS TAUGHT TO KILL HIS NATURAL INSTINCTS,DESIRES,HONESTY& MADE TO FEAR JUDGEMENT OF OTHERS…JUST TO FIT INTO NORMAL/MAJORITY/MEDIOCRE
Простите, что пишу по русски… Я родилась и живу в России, не так давно познакомилась с вашим творчеством и должна признаться, что ваши книги пробудили во мне “нормальность”! То есть то, что жило во мне всю жизнь… “Нормальность” по моему мн��нию-это просто твоя суть и правил существовать не может. Эта суть проявляется не всегда, даже редко… Я считаю, что “нормальность”-это то, что живет в нас, наши желания и истинное лицо,и многое другое, а то поведение, взгляды, мнение, реакция и тому прочие, которое должно быть по “шаблону”,то что ждут от нас окружающие-это есть “ненормальность”!!!!
Is there anything as normal!!!
To be normal is very subjective…
Everyone is normal and abnormal…
I think when one thinks out of the box..it is not considered normal
but that is normal as well…
you dont always have to follow the rules made by the society to consider yourself as normal…
It is just a state of mind..
Простите, что пишу по русски… Я родилась и живу в России, не так давно познакомилась с вашим творчеством и должна признаться, что ваши книги пробудили во мне “нормальность”! То есть то, что жило во мне всю жизнь… “Нормальность” по моему мнению-это просто твоя суть и правил существовать не может. Эта суть проявляется не всегда, даже редко… Я считаю, что “нормальность”-это то, что живет в нас, наши желания и истинное лицо,и многое другое, а то поведение, взгляды, мнение, реакция и тому прочие, которое должно быть по “шаблону”,то что ждут от нас окружающие-это есть “ненормальность”!!!!
“Normal” is relative…
To be normal is to mimic the weak. To mimic any group
is a weakness. To “fit in” is to change yourself to
be more like others. Unfortunatly most others are
not like Paulo Coelho. When you mimic the Strong in Wisdom, Compasion, Love, Sacrifice and Courage, the word normal becomes meaningless.
To mimic weakness, like Fear of Death or Fear of not being liked is an imature sign of not wanting to grow up.
Do not mimic the weak people around you.
i have spent 24 years of my life trying to be normal n i dont know what i wanted to achieve..sometimes it was trying to act like my elder sister who seemed so calm n composed.at others like my best friend who seemed to have such awonderful personality..This stopped wen i got sick of trying to fit in shoes tht werent meant fr me.. U ARE NORMAL…start ur life from here even if u feel u arent.. its normal NOT TO Feel normal..its normal not feel v kind at times or not so forgiving..just make sur u don’t do heart people along the path , that is watch ur actions and speech
sorry that last line is messed up its dont damage peoples hearts
For me, Been normal is just be like everyonelse wants that you be. Be normal is follow other people. Be normal is not be myself and waste my time. Is follow someonelse dreams
salam sir,
i dont like the word abnormal as anything like “abnormal” would seem normal if perceived with the eyes of the accused.
as your video is “not normal” but still proper for the post so anything that might not seem normal to many might be very much proper and “normal” if seen within that particular context.
so i have no rules to “keep” myself normal. anything that could make my mind and heart at peace would be normal to me; no matter how much abnormal it might seem to others
Normal is a word without definition, in my opinion.
I stronly believe there could equally be a blog on the “normality of madness” :-)
ha ha….well said…excellent sense ov humour…
What is normal is nothing more then the collective agreement of the majority on any given topic within an established socity. We choose to cohabitate within our social group, either by birth, marriage, or choice, and the collective agrrement is what is normal. What is normal is what is the norm… we can idealize society to be something more romantic, like openmindness to change, honesty and forgiving, but in the end, if you are doing or saying something that at least 90% of the population isn’t, you’ll be labeled as abnormal and going against change… you don’t like it, leave, but trying to fit in will only fustrate you and cause conflict.. you cannot be Christian and expect to go to a non-Christian country and expect that people will embrase your ‘differentness’… you don’t match the norm.. Nothing more…
I believe we have given the wrong meaning to normality. Those who wish to live by social norms and expected patterns of behaviour and wish to conform to this average status are the abnormal ones! It should be normal to want to live extraordinarily and to want more from life. These limitations we are currently adapted to are creating a fear within our soul which prevents most of us from seeing our true light. I would like to share this quote from Nelson Mandela.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Awesome – well said.
Thank You,
Doug
” be as you are ”
” freedom of thy self”
those are my rules to be normal.
co’z it’s not normal for you to force your self to do or to be something / someone whom you are not just because everybody is telling you that it is the most right or normal thing to do / to be.
if its really normal to just simply follow the majority’s guide lines of being normal, can you tell me if having thousands of people in a city that has same face is normal?
* being NORMAL and being a PUPPET, is not much of a difference > if we’ll just gonna follow the flow of our society’s rules for being normal.
co’z Were humans with the gift of having a FREEWILL, were not a rotten wood puppet on strings.
***********************************************************
in short, being a human on strings is more unusual than being a HUMAN who’s practicing his freedom.
Yes, it is a “black day” for Veronika and all the people labelled with the stigma of so called “mental illness”.
Normality is when you can no longer live with the reality that is put upon your eyes – enslaving you to a world devoid of humanity and principles – a world being fed on greed and destruction, a world we can’t sustain.
I believe a vision for the poor should apply to all – whether we are from a rich or poor country.
In fact, the rich countries in my opinion, have more to answer for the situation we are in,
Reformed education worldwide should be mandatory.
Our system of education is simply not working. We are running around and not achieving much – depleting the planet of all its resources and putting a blind eye over it.
We are being saturated by media that are only projecting the views of the big corporations and we willy nilly go along with that tune.
The poor countries need the rich countries as much – the rich ones can help as they are the ones that put the poor ones into such a mess by contributing – in a genuine way – not in a window-dressing one –
They know exactly what that means.
So, let’s stop all the artifice and start working for the future generation from all countries.
Thank you Paulo for establishing a new rule of normality.
Normal?? Nadie en esta vida es normal y los que se dicen ser normales tienen sus cositas guardadas por hai.
Y la verdad ase tiempooooo que deje de poner atencion a lo que la sociedad quiere que sea.
Todos los dias a de haber alguien que me dice no agas esto o esto es mejor si lo haces de esta manera etc, etc.
Sociedad, sociedad en lugar de preocuparse por ser mejores que ellos mismos y dejar vivir a los demas de la mejor manera que uno crea y sea feliz.
yeah, who would want to be like everyone else? i don’t. :)
if you follow all that the society does without questioning them or without daring to do against that even if you find it ridicule. then you considered as normal. Otherwise you are mad…
As sociedades criam padrões de normalidade inconscientemente, sufocando qualquer possibilidade de vivier com autenticidade, pois é impossível toda uma comunidade agir da mesma forma. Cada ser humano é um universo, devendo ter liberdade para expressar sua verdadeira natureza.
Being normal is by living with what the society does. Well, but doing the opposite does not mean that you are abnormal.. that’s what i think..
Normal is something rarely achieved. We want to be normal and yet we want to be special. In the fight between fitting in and being authentic, which shall win? We don’t want to be looked down upon, I guess that’s where being normal comes in. But if we could be unique and special, would being normal still count? We don’t want to be the same as the rest because we do not want to be disposable. We do not want to be disposable because we want to be loved.
yes in our society everyone is expected to behave normally and this is the cause of abnormalities going on in our society.what if a child plays for a longer hours and what if the youngster enjoy their lives.
Normal is to accept limits that others have accepted for themselves.
Normal is to accept routine as a goal.
How do you stay true to yourself when you make your own path but in doing so you find people you love standing in your way?
Hello.
When thinking about NORMALITY…. only one question comes to my mind: What is “normal”? and I’d like to add a phrase that I always think about by Ricardo Arjona (I’m gonna try to translate it into English): Who is madder… the one who “think” or the one who “watches the moon”?/ ¿Quién es más loco, el que piensa o el que mira la luna?
I say goodbye telling u that I love living crazy, although having to hide it.
Hello Mr. Paulo,
In my view, normal is doing anything what the society (the majority) does. If we are against the current, the society will consider us as abnormal. Being normal is real tiring and can cause a serious illness for some people, since everyone has different faculties and disabilities. But society is like a horrible monster who throne on his kingdom of tyranny. Society thinks that normal will create harmony. But I think they just create an “illusion” of the so-called a harmony itself.
just believe in every step you make, be confident, than everything you do will be acceptable to people around you (you’ll be normal even though you’re living your inner madness), that’s it :)
love you Sir
I wouldn’t know how to be normal. I tried very hard, since my childhood, to be one of them. In boardingschool I was shocked how easy these girls talked to each other, the words just came out of their mouths. I couldn’t speak like that, I never learned how to share my thoughts. Then I realised that their conversations were like alien-language. I didn’t understand why they said silly things like how hard it was to brush their hair in the right wave in the morning ? I really did not know what to say to them. My grandmother would say : they talk in and out. I knew I had to learn this skill, to belong to their world, their clan. I couldn’t. So I sang instead, and I wrote essays for them, for money. Untill I couldn’t hide anymore from the teacher’s, they started to notice it was from my hand. And in the end I couldn’t bring myself of writing stupid things, after trying many years to put myself to their level…trying to fit in. I still find it very hard today. To get up in the morning, to do the things I am supposed to do. My daughter says : mom it is your job to cook for us, it is your task to clean. Is it ? Is this life ? Getting up every morning to drag myself to a job I hate, to earn money to pay for the house I bought, the bills, for the “education” of my children ? How I envy these monks and nuns high up in the mountains, just praying, thinking, no worries and thoughless nights. Or artists doing just the things they want, writing, painting, creating. Being able to order my thoughts, without noise, violent verbal attacks around me. Ordering my poems, every page of the first chapter of a book I wrote, feeling like a coward. Living the life everyone is expecting me to live. Like a normal person.
that’s hard some times to accept the other’s, specially when you live in your own life, the life that you dream to be exist in this world. there u either become an author like pauolo or a dictator like Saddam hussein or and or type of those people who had the smae thought’s like you. who couldn’t accept the other’s untill they revield their opinions. try to be your self but not always life is more than being self focusing.Since odds sees sounds and hear and hear the lig.
Keep the faith, keep the hope. Light is coming.
Lavoro tutti i giorni con malati mentali e ogni istante mi chiedo se il mio mondo, diverso dal loro, sia quello giusto oppure no.
Le persone che aiuto, che incontro, che educo mi hanno dato una risposta strana col loro essere così come Dio li ha creati: la normalità è un concetto puramente numerico, ciò che non è contrario alle norma, ciò che è semplicemente ordinario, consueto…insomma se il mondo fosse popolato da schizofrenici da sempre, sin da quando esso esiste, allora l’individuo non normale sarebbe l’unico non affetto da tale patologia! Del resto chi e cosa possono stabilire quale sia la sottilissima linea di confine che separa questi due mondi, spesso invece inscindibili?
cuando uno piensa en ser normal, esta pensando en seguir la dirección correcta marcada por la sociedad, y si la sociedad se equivoca y esa no es la direccion, quien marca esa direccion dentro de la sociedad, yo se quien tiene que marca la direccion en mi vida y por supuesto no es el hombre, cuando cada uno quiere encontrar su sitio y no buscar el sitio para esta sociedad, esta es la diferencia que marca a la persona que no es normal..
To be unnormal is to dare, to see things as they are and not what they seem to be, and it depends a little on the person. What is unnorml depends also on the culture.
I saw you (paulo)on Swedish TV4 with Malou in 2007. You said that you can’t blame an adult that is 40 for what he did when he was 25. You also said that the Alchemist will provide for you for the rest of your life and that your wife have changed so many times since you got married, so it is not like being married to the same person such a long time. I noticed that she only liked the third thing, the other two werent so popuar. Making money or speaking about ones success is not popular in Sweden (Jäntelagen – The Law of Jante) and leaving a person to get better and “recover” from past misstakes is also a very seldom thing. I saw a great poet on an internet page, and he was homless, swedish, nobody wanted to publish his poems. People could have learned a lot from them.
Concordo com vc ser normal é ver as coisas como realmente são o problemas é que os outros não se veem ai vc pira chora pelos outros mesmo que o problema não seja seu vc transporta para si toda a carga , vc chora , agradece , melhora piora e pira. Estou super mal sem pai desde os 8 anos sem mãe desde os 6 meses de idade minha história é muito interressante e sem companheiro a 2 anos e4 meses depois de uma união de 27 anos sem estar casados, estou prestes a fazer 60 anos sem aposentadoria sem familia só me resta um irmão que está com cancer linfatico, não tive filhos e me sinto muito só já fui rica seião se ganhava nada na epoca de Denner. Certa vez na
la locura de ser normal.
exactamente como lo dic el tema la locura…..
la sociedad nos da unos parametros que tienen en unico objetivo de limitar nuestra esencia como humanos….las reglas predeterminadas para vivir en un mundo,en constante cambio.
hoy me siento cansda despues de tanto luchar, para cumplir con lo normal, y aun continuo en el mismo lugar, cuando trato de vivir solo por el hecho de vivir aparecen nueva ves esas reglas, esa normalidad que se supone demarca nuestro camino. y ahora solo pregunto ? la mente tiene todo el poder que podamos darle para actuar, como hago para ya no vivir la locura de la normalidad y no aparesca en mi mente el poderoso miedo de saber que etoy rompiendo las reglas?
To be normal is to equate self through things seperate from self.
a good point to concider about the formation of such a paradigm:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKrh5CCLt6M
If self is equated through thought and the emotions they generate – self will be a polarity as every thought is a polarity – poor/rich, stupid/smart, good/evil, etc.
To be ‘normal’ is to try and land in the most ‘neutral’ region of that polarity.
If one does not exist within and as definitions being ‘normal’ is no longer an issue – there is only self-expression and self-honesty in oneness and equality = one might say ‘a natural state’ if premise is made from observing children without confusing ‘innocence’ with ‘ignorance’.
Well to be normal is to think & behave the way society wants you to,to always follow the parametres which soceity has set for us,to always do things the way they should be done never to think out of the box or too differently if one follow all this then one is normal.
Until recently I felt that I could continually strive away from the “normal” experience, always challenging myself to do things in a little different way for a slightly different reason,never afraid to walk away from the safe thing, more afraid of an ordinary life. I am now a single mother running a business and have a glorious child and I find myself feeling stifled because I find it so much harder to make maverick choices when it may affect her, possibly in negative ways. I used to be braver, I had no regrets in life, always sucking the juice out of each phase of life.Recently I am more fearful and seem to have a backlog of regret, even knowing that life is perfect in it’s presentation of opportunities. Challenging the “normal” experience everyday is critical but requires attention, discipline and courage, but it is the difference between living and existence
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