Sexuality and Spirituality. Why sexuality is a taboo for most religions? Why should we repress something that was given by God to us in the name of, we don’t know why? Our conversation this week is about how do you exercise your sexuality in a sacred way, and also to understand why society and religion tends to repress this important part of our lives.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Paulo
DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH. BUT IF YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE, POST IN YOUR MOTHER TONGUE (PORTUGUES, ESPANOL, FRANÇAIS, ETC.).
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I belive that society and religion, more religon, have make a taboo for the same reazons they act, control and fear. I am a person who base my life on what is inside of me not what is out side (socity and religion) mosly i go agains them, not becuse braking the sistem, beacuse i ask why and control and fears are moslty the answers. i belive that sex is a big responsability because in to diferente ways, fisic about illnes and babys, Some how sex is an amazing wepon i belive the most powerful because is the only way to create naturaly life, and people is what we are and what control religon and socity and mostly (not me) people is scare od changes so more people able of producing more ideas and chaning the sistem is dangerous for what allreday ruls.
Sex as sex, penetration or whatever is somthing i dont aprobe that much, is not a taboo for me is just a primitival way of reproduction and a basic need, like animals, but compenatration, makein love, beeing one whatever you call it is what make us humans and were soul is involve spirituality is involve. I have try both sides the sex makes me as my own filosofy a dragon is serching a plesue that only takes me to a instantaneus relife but harm my spirt in a long therm,in the other hand the act of love make me a star makes me shine, makes me reach a hier level, give the streng to make good changes. Thats the reason I blive religon make it forbeden, beacuse sex and love can give you the power to to great things, to change the world for good or for worst.
I also believe when you make this act you exchange energy with your couple, so is a risk about what you give and what you take, it will always change you and your capacity of give and receive.
I don’t believe that controlling or making taboo is the best descition to make us able to understand how much important is sex i believe that first we should be open and be able to talk about it, share our experiences learn and educate then practicing, learning again, making mistakes and grow and that way be able to give our self in body and soul to that person in our same level, and maybe if we are lucky continue with that growing and learning by the hand of our loved one.
I belive that society and religion, more religon, have make a taboo for the same reazons they act, control and fear. I am a person who base my life on what is inside of me not what is out side (socity and religion) mosly i go agains them, not becuse braking the sistem, beacuse i ask why and control and fears are moslty the answers. i belive that sex is a big responsability because in to diferente ways, fisic about illnes and babys, Some how sex is an amazing wepon i belive the most powerful because is the only way to create naturaly life, and people is what we are and what control religon and socity and mostly (not me) people is scare od changes so more people able of producing more ideas and chaning the sistem is dangerous for what allreday ruls.
Sex as sex, penetration or whatever is somthing i dont aprobe that much, is not a taboo for me is just a primitival way of reproduction and a basic need, like animals, but compenatration, makein love, beeing one whatever you call it is what make us humans and were soul is involve spirituality is involve. I have try both sides the sex makes me as my own filosofy a dragon is serching a plesue that only takes me to a instantaneus relife but harm my spirt in a long therm,in the other hand the act of love make me a star makes me shine, makes me reach a hier level, give the streng to make good changes. Thats the reason I blive religon make it forbeden, beacuse sex and love can give you the power to to great things, to change the world for good or for worst.
I also belive when you make this act you excange energy with your couple, so is a risk about what you give and what you take, it will always change you and your capacity of give and recive.
I dont belive that controling or making taboo is the best destion to make us able to understan how much imprtant is sex i belive that first we should be open and be able to talk abou it, share ower expirences learn and educate then practicing, lerning again, making mistakes and grow and that way be able to give ower self in body and sould to that person in ower same level, and maybe if we are lucky continue with that growing and learning by the hand of ower loved one.
Caro Paulo,
Aqui vão os meus pensamentos sobre este tema. A espiritualidade é realmente algo ultimamente ligado ao sagrado. Por outro lado, a sexualidade for marcada como algo profano por elementos religiosos que, porventura frustrados, acharam que a sexualidade tem que ter ‘normas’ e limites. Tipicamente, alem dos pensamentos religiosos vem tambem atitudes sociológicas, as quais nunca aceitariam comportamentos diferentes do que é considerado aceitável. O que é muito curioso é que, enquanto algumas religioes toleram que os elementos fulcrais e comunitarios sejam casados e tenham descendentes, outras insistem na estonteante ‘devoção’ dos mesmos através de abstenção, resultando em frustrações aberrantes como a pedofilia. Como já mencionaram aqui no blog, o sexo é uma necessidade quase fisiológica, visto que tem repercursões físicas e psicológicas. Limitar esta necessidade humana com fundamentos espirituais é como tirar a sanita a que precisa de evacuar: resulta em dor e sofrimento.
Para finalisar, queria também comentar o já muito abordado tema da masculinidade religiosa, especialmente a Católica. A Igreja Anglicana tem padres femininos. Será que os Britânicos respeitam a sexualidade mais abertamente em termos religiosos?
I was brought up in a Muslim conservative society,as all of you know, Islam is a relatively new religion so its followers are very passionate about it. Sex is a shameful taboo. We were brought up to believe that our virginity is the key in finding a “husband”,after all,the purpose of life for women is to reproduce and honor their men. Of course there is always hypocrisy and double- standards in any society;many young girls perform anal and oral sex. I did what I was told,stayed a virgin till the age of 25 till the time was ready for me to be married.What was astonishing is that after all these years of being sexually repressed,all of a sudden,after the fear that was integrated in me,sex was OK,my mother gave me the talk on my wedding day,she said there is nothing to be afraid of,and it’s a simple thing to go through,just like a prick from a needle,completely harmless and there is nothing I should fear. Of course the first time was devastating,as I’m sure it is for many Muslim girls,as a young adult I was inexperienced,confused,hated it;having to endure a big Arabic penis isn’t easy. I concentrated on pleasing my husband rather than exploring myself and needs.I eventually got a divorce,moved to north America,and that’s when I started all over again with my life. The main thing that bothered me was trying to let go of the little Muslim girl psyche or whatever schema I had about sex in general. My mother never knew that sex was suppose to be enjoyable,this is not too long ago,she had her first orgasm after her second child and I find that to be disturbing. Why would a tribal masculine culture want women to believe that sex is great?! Especially if it is a society full of insecure men who grew up believing that they should only be concerned with only their needs & desires. It is funny that you mentioned it because I’ve been thinking of writing my own experience,as a Muslim girl who managed to move to the west and liberate herself. I have many stories to share with these females and maybe they will learn from my experiences and would like to share them as well;being a healthy independent sexually active Arab woman. Letting go of my values and fears wasn’t easy,I struggled within myself and the thoughts that I had is what I basically want to share in detail with Muslim females,let them hear my side of the story for a change and it doesn’t end with a shameful sad ending like the stories we grow up to hear in a strict judgmental society. What kills me the most is that there are still countries in middle and north Africa that still perform female genital mutilation even after all the awareness some activists tried to spread. The only Egyption movie made by a female directer in Cairo about FGM was banned from cinema. I believe that some parts of the world still lack the awareness and it is hard to get through them,it is a struggle for women like me and thinking about it saddens me. Feminism is not outdated,there are a lot of female activists out there but the change is slow.I don’t know how we got there,from the beautiful pagan rituals to this. Even when I explored Buddhism in Srilanka and went ashram (Hindu influenced) hopping in India during my soul search,I still sensed the masculism among those monks,after all I’m a brown woman,I look like their females,I’m not a white female with money and influence so I got the slight male chauvinist and sexist approach. I kept on wondering is this natural? Ignoring my own instincts? Sex is a predominant instinct,the only joy that I know of, in this world, is when I make passionate love to a man I adore; can’t think of anything that pleases me more than that. Maybe I don’t want eternal peace within myself. I believe we are wild creatures who no matter how much we try to evolve,and yes we all try to learn how to “balance” our complex selves,we still live in a chaotic world;only because of our formless and disordered sense of existence.
Hi there! I really liked your words and would like to hear more about your soul search and all the trouble you had to go through to become the woman you are now! Your words have touched me altough I am not a Muslim woman and was raised very liberal! If you would like to we can stay in touch!
Stay blessed!
Nicole
Reading the Arabian Nights helped me as a teenager from a muslim country to discover my own sexuality. Alas! how far is the muslim world today from the openess about sexuality expressed in this book back at that time during an islamic reign; a book that inspired many westerners not so long ago whence living in cold & sexually repressed societies due to religion be tempted by the irresistible charms of the orient where promises of more clement weathers & permissible indulgences could be offered.
Ohhh darling. First of all thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry about such things, I am sure your true story reflects the sory of many other women. I can tell you I was also shocked, but I am happy you realised where the problems are, with your own mind, independent from what was told to you. I think education is a big key word, maybe men would better take into consideration that having a happy wife is much better than treating her as a slave in any sense.
Wish you joy and happiness
Love
Alexandra
your life is inspiring ;o)
I hope you might write that book to share stories with other women. ;o)
I just returned from Ghana… where Western culture is both revered [as in emanated] but also despised [as in ostracised] and this is a country both Christian and Muslim.
But what i struggled with greatly was in fact how, as an ‘obruni’ [white lady] I was given special treatment maybe… yet with time i realised that there was a large amount of caution taken surrounding me.. ie: suspicion or observation perhaps. In the end, I was just as subverted [by fact of being a woman] as the next woman. The only difference was that there was an initial period of this observation, suspicion.. fear.. hmm.. not sure. After all, the white lady is viewed as the prostitute in cultures outside of the West. And the images of women in the pornographic pages in those countries are predominantly of… white women. Who knows.. perhaps the job role will catch on globally ;o/
Hello people i`m 23 , i found that religion is something that`s really not for me as there were things that seemed not very logic to me.
I believe in love, music , feelings , instinct ,magic , miracles , forces of nature as i`ve seen extraordinary things happening in my life. I find more logic, truth and the answers i need in spirituality.
Now talking about sex , i feel that i can have a more relaxed mind, more concentration and deeper musical magical inspirations when i don`t have any sexual urge, so it means that from time to time i have to have sex or to have auto-pleasure. Sometimes sex can be just a means to take out the urge , sometimes it is a divine thing.
People honestly , can someone say that “all” his/her sexual intercourses are of a spiritual order ?? or there are times that it`s just for the sake of having pleasure out of it??
Sex is easily accessible those days, and i`m beginning to wonder if it`s really a good thing ? One just have to choose with whom he/she wants to have sex with and there is more than 70% percent probability (talking from my experience) to get that person.
Now let`s get to the delicate point … love and sex ??
I really love a bunch of people and it happens that we have sex , sometimes to make deep love sometimes just for the pleasure of having sex…
BUT the thing is most of the time one feels sad , insecure and sometimes hurt when his/her love/loved ones make love(not only have sex) with other people.
Now there are 2 natural things that can be done :
1.Follow your instincts and feelings and make love with another partner , even if u know that u might hurt people u love and who love u ??
2. Don`t do things that can hurt your loved ones.
If you follow rule number 1 you might hurt people but it sounds spiritual , and if you follow rule number 2 , u won`t follow your instincts and feelings and you will do something that`s high up in the laws religions “stay faithful to one partner”
so which one is better ?? religious thoughts and principles are they all really illogical after all ??
One other thing ,no sex before marriage …. i like and dislike it at the same time.
My instincts tell me to have sex and make love at anytime.
The other part of me find some logical things in that religious rule.
I just had a talk with someone i love , she told me she had something troubling her. She is the type of girl that made love only with me(for the moment) and would have sex with only someone she really loves.
She told me that she is used with a big penis and that she is very scared that she will have problems if she loves a guy with a smaller penis, it would be hard for her to live with that.
And concerning me, as i`m used to all types of girls, and sometimes i feel that some girls are sexually(physically) more adapted to me and i get much more physical pleasure from them. If one day i decide to be stable with one woman and build something together i feel that the physical part will be quite determinant.
It is in those situations that i`m quite confused
Many respect to u Paolo i learnt soooooo much things from u and i was happy to read the WITCH OF PORTOBELLO ,i felt like someone at least could understand me :)
Always stay positive and thanks for sharing the magic with us.
What a complications about simple question! When I have sex with men whose I love, then sexuality and spirituality is the same and there is not any discrepancy. My spirit is on this place of love.
The way I see it:
Sexuality can be a very strong force. Sexuality can create a new human being. When you’re intimate with someone, and give yourself to them and allow them to give themselves to you, you engage in a transformation with them. You let them touch you, not only in a literal way, but also in a metaphorical way.
It’s not always like this of course. Sexuality can be a very anatomical business also. It can be transactional: I give you pleasure, you give me pleasure. More often than not, a type of a dominance relationship establishes itself between the two people. I think it may make the transaction clearer, easier, less involved. The notion nowadays is that there’s nothing wrong with this view of sex – as long as both (or all three, etc.) parties are aware of what they are doing. The danger is: people aren’t always aware of what they are doing or why they are doing what they are doing and so sex can become harmful.
I don’t think I’m the only one making this point, but religion is culture but also a guide. It tries to answer the questions people have about not only spirituality but all matters of life (as they may relate to spirituality). Maybe, because sex can be so detached from spirituality, religion tries to suppress it altogether in any form that may lead it to become transactional in nature. However, this warning and oppression suppress the individual’s great power to learn and to transform himself through his or her mistakes and by that very oppression, by those very guidelines, spirituality itself may be oppressed.
(But it’s all only a thought. I come from a very secular background, I bet the rules and “seeming oppressions” of religion can somehow be liberating at times as well.)
Olá, Paulo!
Eu adoro muito seus livros!! É, sou fãzona… (risos)
Que bom ter uma oportunidade de me comunicar contigo. Queria muito dizer-te que seu trabalho é maravilhoso, me faz viajar por entre as letras e sonhos.
Queria agradecer pelo dia em que resolveu escrever.
Desejo de todo meu coração: muitas felicidades em sua vida. Que você tenha mais sucesso do que ja tem!!
Beijos.
A excellent example to describe how to exercise spirituality and sexuality is best summed up by reading Paulo’s book, “11 Minutes”. This true story is beautiful, brilliant, spiritual and sexual, and is one of my all time favorite books.
Cheers~
Sex and religion is one of most important question we have in our lifes. We had to remember that even human are animal and so we, all, have a natural propension for sex, sex is our way to preserve ourself, is a way to live “forever”, our “geni” has inside our genetics code that the life, and every time we have a baby we preserv our life, is a kind to stay live forever, we can die but our genetic code is preserved. When we made love or sex, we are able to create a life and this make us as God, God can create life, so sex made us similar to God. I think that ervery time i have sex there’s an energy that i feel like big-bang, energy of cretion, every time we have sex our body is open to creation, sex made us like God, and if we are God what rules has religion?
Sex is an instrument to looking for God!!!!!!
Dae Paulinho Rabbit, cara, acho complexa essa comparação, por exemplo, se existiu Adão e Eva, e eles eram as únicas pessoas na terra, tiveram filhos que por sua vez eram todos irmãos, se eles povoaram a terra, assim houve o maior incesto que já ocorreu na história, e a Igreja nos ensina isso. Particularmente, sinistro demais. Mas enfim. É isso ai, parabéns pela intelectualidade e suas obras, não li todas, mas o Alquimista foi o primeiro e é meu favorito. Esses dias vi umas fotos suas com o Raul, nas antigas, legal demais. É isso aí, manifeste-se no meu twitter, ficaria feliz. Grande abraço.
I am sorry for all the days when spirituality was totally separate from my sexuality. When I was young, and a virgin, sex was mysterious and forbidden, therefore more alluring and tempting to me. My parents were not spiritual at all until their later years, so spirituality did not play a role in sexuality in my parent’s teachings. I got the ‘don’t do it till your married’ basically, and that was it. I waited until my 20′s for my first experience, and maybe because spirituality wasn’t a part of it, I was like, “That’s it??!!” Still the initial chemistry of getting to know someone I was attracted to spawned on the lust of sex. It was always the same ending, though. YAWN! I only had one experience where I could have gone on for many hours, days, weeks and not stopped. It was someone I had been attracted to for a long time, but never got together until one day we went out to eat, and then after that, o’boy! What a night. But we never followed up, I forget why. This is a long time ago. Anyway. I am just stating that spirituality never went along with my sexuality, and I am greatly sorry for it. I now ask God to help me, because I realize all along that is what is missing from my sexual experiences. God should be a part. Now, when I am feeling especially spiritual, close to my angel or the Trinity, my female area just glows. I’m not ‘horny’ as some would put it, it is strange. It’s just a glowing around the pelvis area that goes along. It is definitely a spiritual/sexual feeling, and I started by feeling guilty, but I don’t any longer. I haven’t quite figured that one out, but hopefully I will someday. For now, I am in an 18 year marriage that sex and spirit are separate. I hope we can bring them together, but that isn’t how it started, so I’m not so sure this will happen. Good marriage, though. I will not break a home up over unsatisfying sex. I will try to get the spiritual aspect in so it can be better. TMI everyone?
Dear all,
Sexuallity is one of our basic instincts, that affects almost every aspect of our lives. There is a theory amongst evolutionary biologists that sexuallity has been the power that combined with other random factors “allowed” Homo to evolve and develop such clever brains.
Sexuallity is a really strong power, with a really strong influence on every moment of our every day. For animals, this happens only once or twice a year. As for humen, every day! (since female Homo Sapiens -women- have oestrus every month without it being easy to clarify when exactly at each month).
Being a biologist the firt thing I was taught was that life has only one purpose. To reproduce itself! And the mean for this to happen is sex.
Yet sexuallity is depressed by religions and society. I think it has been a matter of birth control measures. As well as preventing primative and uneducated societies from chaos. It has been proven that the most healthy way for childrens to be brought up is in a two-parent family model.
So I consider that the reasons why sexuallity has been supressed are mostly practical. Since such a great power can be dangerous when uncontrolled in the hands of ignirance.
As for the first part of the question (and the most difficult one) about how I exersize my sexuality in a sacred way.
I think this happens when I manage to be concentrated to it. And during the single moments that I feel that except for our bodies, our souls are also united…
Dear warriors,
[kaltura-widget wid="w1zvpct8cg" size="comments" /]
Estimado Suphi es una familia muy hermosa y gracias por compartir con nosotros.
Kises para usted y su familia.
I did not understand well… Hi there.
Nice baby!!!
LOve
Alexandra
Hi Supi, The baby looks like you, beautiful..
Yes the sound is better. Yesterday I thought of using the ‘system’ but when YOU say chose …. I did not know what … choice to make!! ;-]
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0IuM6VemIc&feature=related
Jamaica! A happy song and my best wishes for a nice evening..
We are going to a wedding now..
Yes we are ..shy, dear Paulo Coelho, but you know you are NOT alone.
Maybe we are … vain !! ;-]
LOVE,
Thelma xxxx
Wait I have to find the right equipment!!! I’m just a woman…
Kundalini, sexuality… the snake… the coil of energy that is our life-force, our creative power. It seems all cultures have sought to suppress this in an effort to establish the culture as the power, the energy, the life-force. Spirituality has been caught in the web of governmental entities for centuries, being distorted by the agenda of those bodies rather than left to flourish. Perhaps this is why cultures are not settled. Our spirit is comprised of many things… our sexual creative energy is fuel that bathes us in energy and magnifies when shared in a non distorted way. What is distortion? This is a hard questions to answer but an easy one to describe. Knowing oneself, knowing your heart, and allowing your energy to flow… this opens us to what is possible as an individual. Blocking our energy or ‘distorting’ it’s path to manipulate and ‘take’ or ‘force’ energy to move can be destructive and takes us into our darkness, limiting our understanding of ourselves and causing great forgetfulness. We cause much more pain to ourselves as individuals than we ever do to others, but it spills out and spreads just as light can if you decide to let your energy flow on it’s path and let your sexual coil unwrap and let yourself dance, create, share, inspire, and become the orgasmic energy that we all are made from.
David lorenz, that is deep!..Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ;)..they makes so much sense…I had to read it aloud to store it in my memory…Another light bulb moment for me! ;)…
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3251022&l=17f734d4c2&id=564875114
[gaiawoman]
I think anything that goes against nature is wrong…and since people are different be nature, in both sexual and spiritual ways, there is not one single answer for everyone. For me sexuality AND spirituality both have to do with body and soul, with tuning in to the right vibes. Respect too. both lift beyond the daily stuff…if done in the right way. Honouring the basics of human life, is worshipping the creator in creation…at least that’s my opinion…verry strong stuff…should be treated with care. But restricting is not the way…sensitivity is.
Cher M. Coelho
Ce sujet est peut être aussi vieux que le monde et complexe comme celui-ci. la sexualité et la religion vont de paire. ne nous sentons pas plus proche du divin aprés une fusion physique saine ?
les religions ont certes influencé largement notre vision de celle-ci et maintenant c’est les medias de masse qui prennent le relais. je ne crois pas que l’on ai besoin d’intermédiaires pour apprendre de notre créateur ou encore avoir la vraie information. cela exprimé je peux m’exprimé sur le sujet principale. la sexualité pratique énergetique qui permet de se recharger, se guérir, se lier ainsi que de générer de l’energie et même créer un être. comme toute chose est fait partie d’une dualité. elle est pas foncierement mauvaise ni fonciérement bonne est assez neutre, en faite c’est un outil divin.
sa mauvaise utilisation a pour resultat l’inceste, le viol, la pornographie et toutes autres pratiques sexuelles violentes sans complicité et non hygiénique mais aussi ca non utilisation( une mauvaise utilisation est tres presente dans notre époque ).
pour l’aspect positive on retrouve le tantrisme et autres pratiques respectueuses et pratiquer selon un rituel et non de maniére recréatives aussi l’erotisme en opposition à la pornographie ( le kama sutra en ai la meilleure preuve ).
il reste alors les théme sensibles tel que l’homosexualité, la nudité, la sodomie et les partenaires multiples.
personnellement je crois que tout les êtres sont bisexuel mais ne peuvent se reproduire qu’avec le sexe opposé. l’amour est universelle mais le sexe est binaire. la sexualité entre personne de même sexe est acceptable mais incompléte .
en se qui concerne la nudité, elle est donne la vision de la personne tel que est sans artifices ni accessoires, mais elle devrais être réservé aux endroits ou elle est apprecié à sa juste valeur, l’islam touche un point trés interessant sur la question mais cela une interpretation personnelle, s’habillé d’un voile ( je parle du corps et non de la tête ) nous préserve de notre côté animal, son aspect ample ne fait pas ressortir les formes permet de se protéger d’instaurer un respect lié à la pudeur. aussi je trouve qu’une femme marié ou prise qui porte le voile est acceptable et montre son indisponiblité, elle n’as pas besoin de charmer d’autres hommes si elle est satifaite dans sa relation ( il interessant de souligner que dans le desert hommes et femmes porte des voiles pour a cause du sable et du vent donc il s’agirait plus d’un outil pour une sitution géographique qu’une mode à respecter …).
pour la sodomie, je pense que si elle est pratiquer de maniére hygienique, selon un bain de purification et lubrifié adequatement, elle serai acceptable. elle stimule le chakra racine, permet un sexualité sans le risque d’enfanté ( notre planéte supportérai mieux moins de population, l’excés de population à souvent comme conséquence la guerre, la destruction d’espece animale et vegetale …).
il reste les relations multiples, je pense que la philosophie polyamoureuse est intéressante sur le sujet ( elle est à différencier de l’adultére, la polygamie et l’hypersexualité )
j’avoue oublier le debat du préservatif, qui certes indispensable pour les personnes qui ont de multiples partenaires et dans d’autres circonstancse, mais lorsqu’il exclusivité et lorque les tests medicaux ont était fait, le plaisir naturelle est autorisé.
merci de cette iniatiative de partage de points de vue.
j’attends le prochain livre avec impatience.
je partage votre point de vue.
Dear Mr. Coelho,
This topic reminds me of an Italian movie I love called “Malena” have you seen it?
As you’ve said in this video sexuality is something given to us by God! And since I’ve made so many mistakes in my life I’ve learned this:
Just because it was given to us by God it doesn’t mean we should share with the whole world! there are things that you keep it for yourself sex might be one of them and saying a prayer as well, I remember reading in the bible that we should close the door when we prayer so others can’t see us, because God will be watching even when your door is closed! After all the church might be right when they teach us something called – The Secret of Marriage – because this is how it’s supposed to be: A secret that’s held between two made of love and blessed by God! and this is the hardest thing to do at least for me! because marriage is not just a word! it’s a whole world! but on the other hand this is not something that everyone can achieve in this material world where people concentrate on how to make more money to pay bills more that living the real things and the best things, although “the best things in life are always free” as a song by Madonna says.
I don’t believe in sex without love, I don’t believe that finding love and building a home doesn’t worth it, a home where you can raise a family, and families form the society! so it all starts between a man and a woman and reflects on the whole society.
The way we acts reflects the ideas we learn at home as children the principals we have and all the good and bad things come from home, but the mistakes we make will define our unique personality and the people we manage to be, or this is what I know.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to have my say, but this is me now, tomorrow we’ll have a different way of seeing things, and as we grow older we learn more about the real things in life.
The question that has bogged me since my high school days is this: how can sex be sacred?
when the One comes along… it’s sacred.
Hola, soy católica y como tal pienso que la sexualidad es una de las maneras más hermosas que tenemos para comunicarnos, es la más intima, directa y el lazo más fuerte entre dos personas, no nos debemos acomplejar, ni debemos temer a lo que sucede en con nuestro cuerpo, pero creo que solo debemos hacerlo con amor, sin él sería como masturbarnos con el miembro del otro…solo seria eso, un sacerdote me dijo una vez que tener relaciones con amor..”hacer el amor”, es un acto tan hermoso que hasta un ángel podría presenciarlo, lo comparaba con el ritual que hace el sacerdote en la comunión. la cama seria el altar, y el acto sexual sería la comunión, por que es eso la comunión de dos personas.
Gracias y un beso gigante para ti Paulo:)
Dear Sir,
This is funny…why do you always (so far 2) raise ‘issues’ i was thinking about?
First: it was The Alchemist.
Second: This one, i even wrote about it in my blog but in ‘nichan’s way. I can’t write something as gentle as you do, Sir.
But thank’s for bringing this topic up.
@Phillipe & Lynn
I guess, we have the same Father, God, Lord, or Allah. If the faith is toward Him, so, whatever religion or belief, it will end up with the same point. Thank you
I agree nichan…we will all end up with and at the same point…as we all started from the same place, peace and happiness to you, Lynn
To understand sexuality ( and religion) you need to understand the functioning of the human brain and primal instincts.
The reproductive instinct is not just about mating and sex. This well seated and powerful mechanism has a broad construct. It is also responsible for our behavior associated with parents, siblings, and offspring. Caring for members of our family, and the tightly knit loyalties we display, are no accident. The emotions we experience with this component help to define behaviors such as love and affection. Note that these are behaviors and not traditional feelings as we are led to believe. Poets, philosophers, and even scientists have tried for centuries to define the nature of love. Perhaps they were looking in the wrong place. Love is a behavior based on the emotions that accompany the reproductive instinct. If that were not the case, we would have one set of rules and definitions for humans and a different set for the rest of creation. Our society and our religions try to do just that. But the truth is, this is powerful chemistry in the brain, neuropathways that drive instinctive behavior and the equally powerful neuropathways of emotion that accompany it.
Dear Peter,
Do you ever felt Love without sexual attraction or under the pressure of your reproductive instinct? Love can have nothing at all with sex and sex can have nothing at all with Love. Those are two different things. You referred to lust, not to Love. The true unconditional Love, where you care for all and not those related to you by blood and reproduction.
But, yes, sex only worth if made with Love and devotion to the other being we are touching. This way, it can have a such more important role than just sexual release or reproduction. Human are different of animals. At least, they have the joice to be.
Now slowly you will talk about the Will…that make a woman feel attracted to a man??? ha ha. Who said that? Schopenhauer?
I agree that in America, sexuality is sold as a product. It has become synonymous with pleasure, acquisition, and a moment of respite from your problems. It is sold here the way most things are sold here. It might as well be a car, a blender, or a fancy watch. So while sexuality may be on every mind and every billboard, the soul of sex is absent. We have not been given the incentive to ask what we are actually hungry for.
I understand that repression leads to shame. Perhaps there are religious couples who can embrace secrecy as a mystery instead of something dirty. However, I have not met too many people who can do that. Many things grow in the dark and they are often destructive.
What I believe we are missing as a culture, is the guidance to ask the real question of our body. “How do I open to the Divine?” And then be welcomed to live that question. We are defined by the question that guides our life. If we look for distraction and a respite for pain, we are given just that. If we ask to be opened, to use our flesh as a chalice and a sword… well…..
I think it’s quite simple!
Religious allowed us to do sex! But we should realize that God gives us that hormonal things only in Rite way. Human with all his bias and selfishness always make what God way in deviance way!
We only do what we want to, rite?
To have found your one true love… your soulmate, and to express it together in the most ultimate way (sex) , is a spiritual experience.
sexuality is never a taboo, per se. but we are governed by norms and standards wherein a sexual act is offensive to some person. That is why, sexual urge is limited only in the confines of your home or anywhere private. to display sexual urge in public, as ethics will suggest, is immoral.
Querido Paulo:
Sexualidade e Espiritualidade. Porque a sexualidade é um tabu para a maioria das religiões? A sexualidade tornou-se um tabu no momento em que o ser humano pobre de espírito, comercializou-a. Através dos séculos, tornaram-a difícil e pecadora para gerar vantagens e lucros para poucos. Devemos ter noção e responsabilidade do que é verdadeiramente sagrado e o que nos foi ofertado gratuitamente por DEUS. Os homens falham, erram, e continuam errando ao ensinar o que lhes convém deixando os adultos do futuro com a mente perdida.Os adultos do futuro são as crianças de hoje: fazem tudo certo mas inconscientemente estão presos aos maus ensinamentos.
Devemos ponderar também sobre o respeito aos costumes das religiões no mundo.
Com amor,
Sérgio Coelho
I see so much Spirituality in Sex because it is consequence of our Mind and thinking! Our senses are divine. Our Life is a present. Our reward here in the Earth is Love! Physical and Spiritual Freedom are our aim all life long. And that is what Religions do – try to put limits to our Freedom and independence.
Creo que la sexualidad es una manifestacion del amor que tiene uno por su pareja, la cual hace a uno espiritualmente pleno y le permite tambien alcanzar el punto maximo que sería tener un hijo.
Quiero creer que el catolicismo por ejemplo fue interpretando la biblia y textos posteriores de maneras equivocadas en este tema, ya que fue el hombre el que creó la mayoría de las costumbres de esta religion. con las costumbres de cada epoca.
Siendo Jesus quien protegió del hombre a una prostituta y profesando el amarse los unos a los otros, no creo que estuviera realmente en contra.
Hola mi gran senor Paulo.
En lo personal, pienso que la relacion intima entre una pareja debe de ir mas alla de solo hacer el acto sexual, debe tener espiritualidad y magia que nosotros mismos creamos con el hecho de amar a ese ser querido…
Mi primer encuentro intimo no fue con mi esposo sino que fue con un novio a quien el sentir esas ganas enormes de sentirlo sercas de mi me llevaron a relacionarme intimamente con el, y cual fue el resultado? no muy grato para mi, puesto que despues de haberlo hecho se termino la magia entre nosotros, entonces pienso que no era amor si no pasion, despues de ese momento de debilidad decidi abstenerme hasta encontrar al hombre ideal, que me hiciera sentir mas cosas aparte de un deceo o de un amor platonico.
Cuando conoci a mi esposo y tuve mi primer encuentro intimo con el (claro esta vez casada y enamorada) fue magico y habia mucha delicadeza, fue totalmente distinto… Ahora que los anios han pasado me siento mas serca de el espiritualmente!…
Al final de cuentas pienso que a pesar de las reglas y cosas que se nos imponen cada quien decide cuando y como tener su acto sexual….
Sexuality doesn’t have to be a taboo in our society today. Let us face the fact, that people in this generation are more open minded with regards to this. On my own point of view, SEXUALITY along with RESPONSIBILITY and MATURITY should go well together.
Spirituality comes in different wave lenghts to every person. I believe that religion plays a factor in determining one’s own perception & deeds. But, still, despite that, I strongly opt to totally rely on how one was being raised as a person, the VALUES instilled in that person since he/she was a kid. This is where one’s conscience comes in to every deed/action done.
My Main Point: ” Act according to what is RIGHT”
” Uphold your own personal VALUES”
In the U.S.A it seems sexuality has become far removed from anything sacred, and is popularly viewed as merely a recreational activity. Sexuality is everywhere. I believe that a reason for it to be kept Taboo in any religion is that in keeping it a mystery, it becomes something new to be explored. Man and Wife can discover something about themselves and each other. It can be an exciting journey, and not just a selfish game.
I think the division between spirituality and sexuality is basically a religious one. It is the soul vs. body division and also the content vs. form division. It has a long tradition like the good vs. bad tradition but this separation is false and artificial to me. It takes years for children to learn. It is not natural.
I have never met a person with spirit and no sex or one that had sex and had no spirit. I know I have both in me at the same time. How can one separate things like that? What for?
Both society and religion are made of people and, like the people they are made of, they function with double morals which is very clever because doing that they are always right one way or the other. But at the same time always wrong no matter what they do. The implications of this are fascinating.
Exercise sexuality in a sacred way conveys an image of a ritual to me. Something like concentrating or getting into trance, twilight, listening to music, repeating spells and positions and getting the impression that you and the other person are one and maybe eating and drinking together too?
I am living in a country which most of the people have the same religion. We live peacefully side by side with other people with different religions, watching E!, sex n the city and many western modern culture from TV serials/shows and movies.
I believe that we can control the desire to have sex more easy where the common social morality support it. What I want to explain is, it is more easy to stay away from sex affairs or even live in celibacy here, rather than in other more permissive environment.
The community is much more nice and supportive to people who live ‘in moral boundary’ and rather give some ‘judgmental & annoying’ action to people who ‘out of the boundary’.
Don’t you think it’s more like the stronger the repression the more people repressed there is? Is it really support or rather not giving others choice by forcing them into living within “moral boundaries”?
Pienso que la religión tienda a clausurar el sexo como malo porque los medios lo han tornado así. Actualmente vemos muchas películas, series juveniles, propagandas, noticias, entrevistas y otros medios informativos, en donde se hace presente el sexo vacio y superficial. Las mujeres son objeto de atención por su fisico y atributos superficiales y eso es un objeto de provocación para el hombre.
Las religiones, en su mayoria, le prestan atención al alma y a las cuestiones espirituales y el cuerpo es una parte secundaria; el cuerpo comparado con aquello no es nada, encrustando tambien al sexo en ello debido a que se tiende a ver que el sexo es una necesidad fisica, meramente corporea y que sólo es necesario para procrear. Por eso toda clase de actitud sexual que sea contraria a este fin se ve mal para ellos y tratan de crear en su doctrina una parte que enseñe que esto está mal, creandose así el tabú.
Son muy pocas las religiones o las personas que logran encontrarle un sentido espiritual al sexo y eso forma parte de la realidad que tenemos hoy en día, una realidad vacía y poco espiritual.
Algunas religiones estan en contra por el abuso de este regalo de Dios, otras por los tantos abortos realizados por la inconsciencia al momento de tener relaciones sexuales y no usar proteccion; unas en contra del sexo, otras en contra del aborto y otras piensan que se le falta el respeto al cuerpo humano y todo lo demas. Lo importante es crear nuestro propio estilo de vida, en el cual definamos si es sagrado o no, si estamos a favor de la religion o estamos faltando a ella, asi no sentiremos que estamos violando las normas de la religion a la cual seguimos, sino a nosotros mismos o a nuestro estilo de vida que ya habiamos creado. Definir el sexo como algo correcto o incorrecto depende de cada quien, de como persona independiente y diferente piense respecto a eso, no todos pensamos iguales. Y lo que puede que tenga valor para ti, para el otro no signifique nada. Saludos!
Just wanted to add do this dicussion that I think that a so called “quick fuck” can be just as menaingful as sex with someone I love. It’s experimenting and so far guys I’ve slept with that I haven’t really been involved with have showed me lots of respect and tenderness, it’s like falling in love if only for a few minutes.And why sex is a taboo, that’s beyond my mind.
And also i consider clitoridectomy as one of the biggest crimes hence the fact that it is taking away a womans sexuality. It’s a way to make sex be about the man instead og the man and the woman. Women have the right to achieve sexual fullfillment in the same extent as men.
Love
Great post! Truly agree. Did you hear about Clitoraid? Charity that helps victims of clitoridectomy, very educational. ps. my post below x
This question has been on my mind alot lately. Because I am sexually involved with the man of my dreams. The only problem is that he is separated from his second wife, but not divorced. He broke up with me once and went back to her, then he left her again and came back to me. This goes against both our christian beliefs, yet we can’t say no to this relationship. We have the kind of connection that makes the crazy world go away and all I want is to be with him forever. I am not young and naive. I have loved and lost. But this is the first time I have had a love like this, it is what I had always hoped for but thought I would never find. So I go on hoping he will go thru with the divorce as he says he will, and be free to be with me.
I strongly believe that sexuality and spirituality not only interwind with each other to make human’s life more complete, but they are very similar “beings”. Both are very individual (to not call them egoistic) and extremely intimate. Having an orgasm often takes you to a place you cannot experience being at in “real” life, while caring about “real” things, it is the same when you feel a strong connection to your god. You feel higher, you feel happy, you feel connected.
how to exercise your sexuality in a sacred way? Just be true to yourself, as you are in your prayer. As long as you don’t hurt anyone & you follow your passions – you’re always one step closer to god – through prayer or sex.
In regards to your next question – why society & religion tends to repress our sexuality and freedom of expressing it? – First of all, let’s not mix up spirituality & religion. The latter one is created by humans and it’s a “science” of choices. Unfortunately a lot of people make wrong choices, pick wrong paths, misread the verses of sacred books. Call it what you wish: hatred, intolerance, narrow mindlessness – as part of hour world and as part of society it will always be a part of any religion.
It’s up to the individual to choose between world driven by hatred, where spirituality and sexuality cannot co-exist and world free of it, filled with higher purpose & love.
Religion and spirituality are two different things. I think that religion wants that you live this life with an extreme morality. sometimes this is so wrong. in the other hand, spirituality wants that you live your life as you want but the things that you do is for the well being of yourself and everybody.
I think that the societies that repress more the sexuality in the communities tends to be countries that have a high increase of AIDS deseases. they repress the people about sexuality instead of educating them.
I think sexuality is not a sin anymore in today’s society or at least between teenager and early adulthood. However, it is important that we excercise our sexuality with responsability. there is not such thing that excercise our sexuality with ourselves or with some one that we love.
Something wonderful like sex that God gave us someday… we have to talk about and we must to talk about it.
And all this people from church, and religions that don´ t talk about that, they have a BIG problem and their own head!!
Thats what I think.
I thinnk we have to pray whenever we can to God for thanking to giving those wonderful feelings.
With Light an Love Nicole
Sex is taboo in Christianity, Islam and to some extend in Judaism. They are pretty much the same and it is normal. Cultures, which are predominantly having other religions are quite liberal in the eyes of the western civilization, but they do not accept it as liberal or a way to revolt and show new path, they just accept it as something normal. Something like women breasts in the US- people freak out when they see a topless girl, while it’s quite normal in Europe.
But spirituality… there are different people with different libidos. Even though some might not suffer from the need to look good for the society, they might still not want to have a lot of sex or adventurous sex (on the beach or on the parking lot or whatever) due to their low libido.
I think the more I know, the worse it becomes, because I can analyse the situation and look for a better choice. Instead, game theory in economics shows that rational choices by rational individuals do not always lead to a better state, so … whats the point then? :)
good luck with the topic :)
I don´t understand the church and also people who works on their religion, why they can speak about sex. I think thats their own problem!! In their heads are the problems they are selfmade.
Something wonderful that God gave us, and to speak about, we don ´t have do blame. We can be thankful to God for giving us sex.
We have to pray and thank him whenever we can.
With light an love Nicoe
Sex is an act of Spirituality itself. They are by definition intertwined, like night is to day, like the moon is to the sun, like woman is to man.
One can engage in simple coitus which may be purely a physical act resulting in simultaneous release and receipt of energy, of body fluids etc., but may not necessarily engage in real sexual intercourse.
When someone achieves orgasm, then she/he reaches a state of being not dissimilar to those in a moment of trance right? So therefore the inevitable linkage by our ancestors between the two.
In any case, sex can’t really be without a dose of spirituality, nor can the reverse be true. That’s why it always perplexed me – being brought up Catholic – that our clergy, like Vestal Virgins, and also Buddhist monks are required to be chaste.
Looking at this interrelationship though, it could be that deprivation of intercourse might actually be designed to heighten the craving of spirituality.
That may explain why other faiths also encourage periodic fasting and abstinence.
Anyway, we all wouldn’t be here, physically and spiritually, were it not for our lust hungry ancestors…so I’m glad sex and spirituality come hand in hand, though institutions have taken over such as marriage and religion in our societies.
Amen!
I think, we have a confused view about sex, God, relationship and about the life. And if we could fix this ideas or views about of, maybe we can enjoy them. God is good and He is relational. He cans relate with us. And sexuality is a spiritual expression of the Gods pleasure in us. In the sexual relation, God has enjoy on us, cause He is good! This is a gift from him to us! When we enjoy it, we worship him!
An Islamic Perspective on Sexuality
In Islam, sexuality is considered part of our identity as human beings. In His creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other animals by giving us reason and will such that we can control behavior that, in other species, is governed solely by instinct. So, although sexual relations ultimately can result in the reproduction and survival of the human race, an instinctual concept, our capacity for self-control allows us to regulate this behavior. Also, the mere fact that human beings are the only creatures who engage in sexual relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction, sets us apart from all other species which engage in sex for the sole purpose of reproduction.
Marriage
For Muslims, based on an understanding of Qur’an and hadith, sexual relations are confined to marriage between a wife and husband. Within this context, the role of a healthy sexual relationship is extremely important. Having and raising children are encouraged among Muslims. Once a child is born, the parents are expected to care for, nurture and prepare the child for adulthood, with a goal of imparting Islam so that the indivdual is equipped with knowledge and willingness to accept and practice Islam and thus become a productive member of society.
Beyond childbearing, sexual relations assume a prominent role in the overall well-being of the marriage. In reading hadith, one is impressed with the Prophet’s ability to discuss all issues including those dealing with human sexuality. The topics range from questions about menstruation to orgasm. He apparently was not embarassed by such inquiries, but strove to adequately guide and inform the Muslims who asked. Both Qur’an and hadith allude to the nature of sexual relations as a means of attaining mutual satisfaction, closeness and compassion between a wife and husband. “Permitted to you on the night of the Fasts is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments.”(2:187) Also, Muslims are advised to avoid sexual intercourse during menses so as not to cause discomfort to the woman (2:222).
The goal of marriage is to create tenderness between two individuals and satisfy the very basic human need for companionship. “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; in this are signs for those who think.”(30:21) The hadith which address this issue are numerous. The Prophet himself, while not divulging all aspects of his own sexual life, was known for his nature as a loving husband who was sensitive and physically demonstrative. In several hadith, he speaks about the importance of foreplay and speaking in loving terms during sexual relations. Again, the concept of mutual satisfaction is elucidated in a hadith which advises husbands to engage in acts that enable a woman to achieve orgasm first. (see Ihya ulum-id-din (Revival of Religious Learning) by Imam Ghazzali, chapter on Marriage). Sexual dissatisfaction is considered legitimate grounds for divorce on the part of either wife or husband.
Sex Outside of Marriage
Naturally, attraction between individuals is necessary to initiate a relationship that leads to marriage. But sexual relations can obviously take place between any couple, consenting or not. Because of the far-reaching ramifications of sexual relations outside of marriage, Muslims are prohibited by God from such behavior. And because the process that leads to physical attraction and ultimately intimacy is part of human nature, Muslims are advised to behave in a way and avoid circumstances that could potentially result in extra- or pre-marital sex. Modesty in dress and behavior between women and men figures prominently as a means of exhibiting self-control. Similarly, unmarried couples are admonished against spending time alone in isolated places where they would be more likely to act on their feelings and thus be less inhibited.
Some of the negative results of sex outside of marriage include the potential for unwanted pregnancies, transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, disruption of the family and marriage (in cases of adultery), and emotional and psychological difficulties resulting from the lack of commitment associated with most relationships outside of marriage. As in other religions, extra- and pre-marital sex are considered major sins. Muslims believe that God does not simply forbid or allow behavior whimsically, but does so with our best interest at heart, guiding us away from potentially destructive behavior and towards behavior that allows us to achieve our most fulfilling potentials as human beings. For a similar reason, Muslims give up the consumption of alcohol because of faith in God’s wisdom that the negative effects outweigh the positive for individuals and society at large. “Whoever submits his whole self to God, and is a doer of good, has grasped indeed the most trustworthy handhold…”{(31:22)
Contraception
Although Muslims are encouraged to have children, contraception is not prohibited. The method used during the time of the Prophet was coitus interruptus (known as ‘azl) about which several hadith exist. His basic response when asked if such a practice was lawful was that individuals can do as they will, but if God intends for a child to be born, she/he will be born. Some interpreted this to mean that preventing pregnancy is not recommended because child-bearing is preferred; yet the act is not specifically prohibited. Also, other hadith stipulate that ‘azl could not be practiced without the wife’s consent as it might interfere with her sexual satisfaction or desire to bear children.
By analogy, the methods that exist today as contraceptives are lawful for Muslims to use at their discretion. Basically, it is our position that any method that does not involve pregnancy termination is permissible. Imam al-Ghazzali (see previous reference) lists a number of legitimate reasons for practicing contraception, including financial difficulty, emotional or psychological hardship of having many children, and even the preservation of beauty and health.
It should be clear from this discussion, that since sexual relations should be confined to marriage, contraception is so limited. It is not considered a means of easing the difficulties associated with sexual relations outside of marriage.
Abortion
Abortion is viewed in the same context as having relevance only regarding pregnancies occurring in marriage, again, not as a response to conception as a result of extra- or pre-marital relationships. Early Muslim jurists considered abortion lawful for a variety of reasons until 40 -120 days after conception (first trimester). This was based on interpretation of Qur’an (22:4 and 23:12-14) and hadith that implied that ensoulment or ‘life’ did not exist until after that time (see Sex and Society in Islam, B.F. Musallam, Cambridge University Press, 1983). Contemporary thinkers, considering available technology that allows visualization of the embryonic heartbeat at four weeks of gestation, are of the position that life begins much earlier than previously thought, and therefore to terminate would be to take a life illegally.
The majority of Muslims today believe that abortion is allowed only if the mother’s life is significantly endangered by the pregnancy. Some also feel that the presence of certain congenital anomalies (particularly those that are lethal) make abortion lawful. Also, some scholars consider abortion appropriate in pregnancies resulting from rape or incest.
Homosexuality
Human beings are capable of many forms of sexual expression, orientation and identification. The existence of such a variety again is not found in any other species and thus further demonstrates our uniqueness among God’s creations. The potential for behavior, such as homosexuality, does not mean that its practice is lawful in the eyes of God. Therefore, individuals are expected to control themselves and not act on their desires if such action is contrary to the guidelines of Islam. Homosexuality, like other forms of sexual relations outside of heterosexual marriage, is thus prohibited. In any discussion of prohibited acts follows the question of what happens if they nevertheless occur. The Qur’an and hadith are explicit regarding severe punishment by the State if a person is convicted of such a crime. However, in order for conviction to take place, the individuals must confess or be accused by at least four eyewitnesses of the act of actual intercourse. Obviously, the likelihood of these criteria being met is small which means that most couples who engage in unlawful acts will not be punished by the State. They will then deal with the consequences of their behavior in this life and will be accountable to God on the Day of Judgement. How He ultimately judges is known only by Him.
Sex Education
Clearly, from the above discussion, Islam is explicit about many aspects of human sexuality. Also, based on the numerous hadith showing the Prophet’s willingness to discuss these matters openly, it should be obvious that education about matters related to sex is acceptable. Muslims may disagree about the age at which sex education begins; some don’t discuss the subject at all. Explaining anatomy and the changes one’s body experiences during puberty are essential for enabling young people to grow up with a healthy self-image. Also, in an age where sexual activity in many countries begins at an early age, Muslim adolescents must be informed to better enable them to deal with peer pressure. Sex education can be taught in a way that informs young people about sexuality in scientific and moral terms. In countries with very diverse populations, such as the United States, the main limitation in developing sex education curricula, particularly in public schools, is the inability to select a universally acceptable moral position. Therefore, young people are given facts and information, and advised that if they choose to engage in sexual relationships, they should take measures to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. The moral and religious aspects of sexuality can be incorporated either in schools of a particular religious denomination or in adjunctive coursework offered by religious institutions. Regardless of the challenges of each society, young people must be adequately informed. Also, in some Muslim communities, individuals are encouraged to marry at young ages. They need to be educated regarding sexuality prior to the marriage such that they know what to expect and can consider their options for birth control prior to consummating the marriage.
Female Genital Mutilation
The practice of clitoridectomy preceded the introduction of Islam in Arabia and in different parts of Africa. This results in severe sexual debilitation of women, who cannot possibly achieve sexual fulfillment — which is their right as Muslims. Therefore, this practice is totally unIslamic because it is in direct violation of both Qur’an and hadith, which clearly stress the importance of sexual satisfaction for both the husband and wife.
so beautifully written Philippe and enlightening for anyone not versed in the Qu’ran
I woke up this morning recalling a very sexual experience I had years ago, which was pretty much ruined by my conventional and religious rules. Also, my understanding of one of the things men do in these secret societies, be it Freemasons or Skulls and Bones, is they share stories about their own sexuality with each other. So, I thought let me go a bit deeper into this, like Montega telling about a personal experience from real life, as most of the religious thinking, and even psychological theories, don’t even come close to touch on what goes on sexually in real life.
I was working collecting data in the field for my Master’s degree thesis. There I met a psychologist who was an expert on kids with Behavioral problems, which was the issue I was studying. This man, lived on the premises of an institution for these kids, and I don’t remember why, but there was an excuse for why I ended up in his private apartment :) (Probably to get some paperwork of some sort). When he opened the door, all he was wearing was a red tight boxer shorts. He invited me in, and offered me to sit down a place where there were laying magazines, which I took one to calm my nerves. He might have said something about being in the middle of getting dressed, I don’t remember…but he was VERY handsome, and of course I couldn’t but help noticing. And to put it straight out, oh my god I would have liked to jump him!! But instead of receiving this great gift he offered me, himself, I shut down, didn’t look at him, and didn’t mention how handsome I found those red tight boxer shorts.I don’t know if he did it because he wanted to jump me, but what do you guys think? What else? I was dumb as a brick, taken of guard by his free spirit. Well, he respected my spinsterish response and didn’t pursue his advance further. And we finished the business I was there for and I left, and I believe later he got involved with another woman working at the institution.
Remembering this episode this morning, oh my, I want that sexual experience I missed out on, so much. But….
why didn’t I go for it? Well, first I have this rule not to sleep with co-workers, second I was a very good Catholic girl back then, involved in another intimate, not sexual, very close relationship. So I had several reasons for not breaking with my own integrity. And if I had had sex with him, outside any commitment, I would have felt like a hore, and looking back at it, am glad he didn’t get me, as I don’t think he would have committed to anything else then the quick fuck. (let me be allowed to use this word here, ok?) This is a real dilemma for me, I want more sex, but let great opportunities like this pass?
Love and Admiration,
Heart
You will always have this as a ‘what if’ and now are left with a delicious fantasy of what could have been. You never know how this man would have treated you after the encounter and things happened as they were meant to. They made you think! Still the ‘guilt’ of things seemed to have possibly stopped you? I was raised Roman Catholic so know how this can play into sexuality. I abandoned the religion due to the guilts associated with what could be a very beautiful thing without the need of marriage.
As someone who has acted on such spontaneous invitations…let me tell you that about 90% of the time it ends up making you feel spiritually empty. I even loathed myself sometimes because my partner clearly used me when what I was seeking was on a deeper level. I wish I would’ve avoided my ‘man in the tight red boxers’. Spiritual deficit was not worth it.
wow Heart,
that was quite admirable of you. I would think if i knew someone was coming over to pick up some paper work i would make sure I was clothed or at least a robed before opening the door, or how bout a holler from inside “i’ll be there in a second”. you made a good call and it strengthened your character. And you never know.. that may have not been the 1st time he had done this. it may have worked in the past for him yet this experience may have helped him grow and realize the respect others should be treated with and the honor intimacy really is.
Do you want more actual intercourse or more deeply intimate relations. if it really is sex then i would ask you if you tend to pleasure yourself often. if thats the case you my have some deep emotional hurt your repressing and trying to fulfill it with sexuality. or you may just tend to be a risk taker, thrill seeker trapped by the theology of your Catholic upbringing. riddled with guilt or perceived judgment of that community. maybe try bungee jumping, or jet skiing… maybe you just need that adrenaline rush..
sorry for such a tangent.
i truly hope you come to terms with this and find what fullfills you.
cheers,
light,
Alan
Sr. Coelho:
Muchas gracias por la nueva aplicación, no habia podido leer las anteriores, ya que solo domino el Español, he leido algunos de sus libros, son maravillosos, el que me ha gustado mas es Maktub, llegó
en un momento triste de mi vida, pero me ha dado las fuerzas necesarias para levantarme otra vez y ver que se puede salir adelante ante las adversidades.
cariños
Maryrita
sexuality in religion is repressed in the name of practising in with someone who would actually appreciate it, but when you come and speak about sexuality in the Arab society , a male is sometimes encouraged to have sex with whom he pleases, cuz he is ” a man” but a woman cannot, still can’t understand that, it bothers me but there isn’t anything i can do about it. but i understand the religious point of view over sexuality.
Yes, I don’t believe God turns a blind eye to men’s sins just because they are men.
Religions of early ages, i mean not in antiquity, ever since they were established, until nowadays, have consider sexuality as a primitive instict, something not appropriate for civillised societies but more suited for animals behaviour.
Religions not only Christian, prohibit or supress sexuality or simply placing it in strict rules in order -theoraticaly- to expell the material nature of people and elevate their soul and mind,in the attempt to approach God or Divine in general.
In their quest they linked sexuality with lust as a mortal sin and women as the source of any evil to men.
Androcratic to their Hierachy they were more elastic to men than women. For example in some religions if a man has sexual relationship with a person of the same gender it is ok because finally he will be forgiven but if a woman does the same they lock her in a room and let’s just say they forget her. The circumsizion is another part of the same problem.
The list of examles through time are innumerable. Where to start Eve,the prosecution of withces in the middle ages, the spreading of doubtfull rumours about Maria Magdalene etc.
It seems that are afraid the fenimity power because the “strong” gender are not men but women. I am not saying this as feminist but as truth well hidden for long time.
I could reffer many grounds to support the above but iam afraid i would become boring, so i will reffer only one which is scientifically and medically proved.
As most of you know women have the chromosome that defines the gender of a fidus. According to evolutionary biology the gender whose chromosomes define the gender of its descedants is nature’s choice as a “strong” gender.
Women are the men with wob (wob+man=woman)and naturally (not with the interventios by science)and females in general (with some exceptences as the seahorse etc)are the creatures that are closest to God because they can create life as he does and that is perhaps their greatest power.
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