Would you do a list of 5, 6 or 7 things that you should do to improve your quality of life?
If I think about myself, I think that shouldl stay less time in front of this monitor. Besides that I really care about my quality of life, walking in the fields, enjoying every single moment. I would love to hear your opinion because this can be very useful to other people.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Paulo
DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH. BUT IF YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE, POST IN YOUR MOTHER TONGUE (PORTUGUES, ESPANOL, FRANÇAIS, ETC.).
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I would be more spontaneous, hike and take more photographs, fall in love, laugh more, be more childlike versus childish, follow through with my imagination, believe more, listen to music more, dance more, take up flaminco, make documentaries, write more, be less judgemental, be more, love more.
When you are suffering of corporal pains, your quality of life improves spontanously as soon pains are over – then you feel awesome and miss nothing in life anymore. It’s so easy!
well i think i have already started on the path..i am always cautiously observing my thoughts and where my life is going…and instead of finding the solutions outside I believe the solutions are there in the mind…
– positive thinking
– never give up attitude
– hope and my dreams…
I will never ever leave these things…and hence when I thought that my life is moving towards a wronf end and I needed inspiration I started a blog about positive thinking…throgh which I read and explore more about the positive thinking and kind of help myself come out of the darkness in which was drawning me inside due to few setbacks in life…
some of the excerps -
Every day the sun rises , and we all have our share of sunshine..so we should just grab that sunshine and lighten up our life instead of cribbing about an unfulfilled wish,a past we wanna get over…these are all tunnels in the journey of the life and we will surely pass the phase and the sunshine is just at the end of the tunnel…!!
I had an accident in July, while i was coming back home after a long day of work. It takes me a long time to get at work, so i go by scooter. The accident was terrible, but i’m still alive and in good health -thanks God. I lost conscience and i remember after woking up these words: “This time we let you go” and I answered “why should I go if i’ll never realise my dream?”
Praise Be!
I wonder… do you think maybe that the words were saying.. we let you go… back to Earth? I’m just wondering, as I had a similar experience.. well, no words, but i pull/feeling and I rejected it.. and then i was released …
Take care xxx
17.
To get back into playing as part of a band, or orchestra. I can not sing, but love playing musical instruments…
I think i’ll join a salsa band… and learn the rhythms first.. then take up the salsa dancing.
Inshar allah… by 2016 i’ll be ready to see Rio de J ;o)
Three small things would greatly improve my life :
1/ The time to cook
2/ The time and the ability to start learning three foreign languages : Hindi, Vietnamese and malagasy, and visiting the countries concerned on a regular basis
3/ The opportunity to participate to the emergence of Greater Paris city and the creation of a hreat concert place.
Three greater things would not so greatly improve my life :
1/ To write a book of short stories and a book of philosophy
2/ To dedicate time, efforts end means to family and home
3/ To teach environmental law and embark on improving environment in urban Madagascar
Three common things would have a permanent impact on my life :
1/ To visit my mother more frequently
2/ To get some knowledge about customs in Madagascar in order to be able to bring my father back to this country when he dies
3/ To be able to know the meaning of love
Hello Paolo, i already posted 6 or 7 things that would make my quality of live. but now i think that the importest: are the people around me, it doesn´t matter bad or good, they all make me feel ALIFE. Its not imortant how much i´m working, smoking, doing yoga or drinking, or is it right….- without the people around me, without friends and family it makes no sence. is´n it?
i d’ont need a list , there is only one single thing : stop thinking and start living !! without jugement , without good or bad only being!!! sometimes i’m nearly or (ithink)able to do that and than i’m getting in a sphere of “happiness”which is over the level of emotions ,i would call it mindfullness or being god. more isn’t necessary not to be happy but much more, to BE!!!
Paulo,
credo che la qualità della nostra vita sia tutta entro il raggio di 2 metri dal ns cervello….. il resto non è solo paesaggio?
Tutto quello che possiamo fare dentro questi due metri è tutto quello che possiamo fare nella vita. Il resto è paesaggio (illusorio)
Stammi bene
Renato
Caro amato Paulo,
vorrei sapere perchè, VERAMENTE, tu hai scitto il tuo libro ” IL VINCITORE E’ SOLO”.
Ci sei dentro anche tu?
Hai proposto il tuo film e ti hanno “snobbato”?
Ti ha infastidito il mondo che hai incontrato nell’ambito della cinematografia?
Hai o stai vivendo anche tu le sensazioni che hai descritto di Igor?
Io sarò vicino a casa tua, a St.Maxime all’hotel best western montfleuri da 21 al 26 ottobre. Se vieni a trovarmi posso invitarti a cena, con mia moglie e me. Mi piacerebbe se potessimo parlarne.
Il destino, è molto più vicino a noi di più di quanto possiamo immaginare. A presto
Ciao
Renato Castelletti
i would, stop thinking that i lost my spiritual touch and i am back on being materialistic,, not thoughtful
not feeling guilty for my mistakes
keep trying a million times
give some more time for my self
stop living life as peaple are expecting me to do and do it as i want, may include less talking, not pretending that i care.
stop caring on how i look like, what i would lose if i behaved naturally or didnt do as usual in certain situation,, not fear loss, and reminding myself that i owe no human being anything as God is the one who gave me all the things am grateful for,, including the peaple that i take the gifts through them,,
thanks paulo
1. I know now before committing myself to something or someone I ask myself am I being TRUE to Myself ? If I am not being true to myself then there is no committing myself.
2. When the battle gets in the midst of achieving my dreams remember that the cost of achieving the dream is the same as giving up on it. Do I want to suffer for a short period of time while making that dream reality or suffer the rest of my life in giving up on it always having it eat at my soul becoming a torturous Zahir? Its best to move forward and endure the pain in pursing the dream because there will be joy in the morning if I take this path.
3. Keep joy in my heart like a child remember to live more child like; laugh, sing, dance, and play. When I start feeling to serious about the not so serious things in life remember to be childlike find the joy again in life never to old be God’s child.
3. Being thankful for my life as it is, and the presents that come along with, being thankful that God has given me the ability and acknowledgement to make the changes in my life when I want and when its needed.
4. Being aware of the present moment smelling the flowers, touch the cement, climb a tree, swim in the ocean, play in the sand get bit by spiders and live to tell about it.
3. Finding Joy in family, friends, and strangers seeing and acknowledging the light that shines within them (always look for that little light that shines in their eyes its there sometimes you have to look a little hard and letting my light to shine as well no matter what is also a help in seeing the light in someone else. Being Open to meeting new People and going to new places. I know that my soul ask these things of me its food for my soul its picky like a vegetarian only wanting to eat whats good for it not asking the impossible because there is no impossible.
4. Being able to reinvent myself when its needed; learning to let go of things that are no longer good for me. Being open to change. If I need to be fluid to flow with the water then I become fluid, If I need to be like the wind and go into transient then I become air, learning to be like energy because I am energy.
5. Giving back knowing that life is a cycle one Big Chakra you have to keep it spinning and clean keep that good energy moving. what you give is what you get.
6. Prayer having prayer a daily conscious and unconscious habit in my life is a must. Being able to have a close relationship with God being able to talk with God on levels. Acknowledging that God is my creator, my teacher, my love, my friend, my mother, my father, God is the flower I see when I walk past the flower bush and rub my fingers across it and feel and see its beauty, the moon that gives me light at night, the sun that wakes me in the morning and brightens my days, the rain that quenches my thirst, the wind that carries the pollen and brings changes in my life, Food that grows in the garden and nourish my body, the music that moves my soul, the air that passes through my lungs, the words that speak to mind, heart, and soul. God is the fire that burns inside of heart with deep passion.
7.Leaving behind my last spiritual grain of sand not just for my son, but 20+ generation after him.
8.LOVE 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
very beautiful! thanks!
this is not my story but i just heart it and thought it is kind of related to the forum so i wanted to share.
there is a middle aged man with no education who owns a small mom and pop barber shop. he likes his job but he realizes that he even more likes drawing, especially portraits. so he started to draw his family’s portraits. then after a while (maybe his wife said she was a little tired being a model all the time ) he started to visit elderly day care centers to draw some more portraits. so he drew with joy. and he always draw smiley/happy faces no matter how a person appears to be. then miracles started to happen. shortly after he made a portrait of an elderly man, who did not smile for many many many years, the old man started to smile. and a nurse said that it was her first time to see him smile. then next, there was a boy hospitalized with very serious illness. he drew him too. always smiling face. even though the boy was in painful face. but the boy too became happy person and he left hospital. all people who were portrayed as smiley face by the middle aged man became really happy people.
so now, he sometimes takes a few days off and visits hospitals and day care centers to draw more portraits and give them as gifts.
i think it is wonderful.
thanks for reading.
Wonderful indeed!Thanks for sharing!
1. I would like to improve my relationship ..:) with GOD
2. I would love to be with my love!!!..:) all the time!!!
3. I would love to finish writing my Book!!!! :(
4. I would love to finish my painting!!! :) too..
5. I would love to be a better human being! and to have children!!!!… one day!!!!! hi hi… :)
6…and actually i have more then 5 things I wish to do!!!1 i have maybe 25… lol… BUT, ..:) THAT’S ME!!!! :) Love to all…, Gabriela Romaria
I would:
*quit smoking & start yoga
*judge less & love more
*worry less about the future and live in the present
*read more & enjoy nature
*serve others
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but if you never do something too much…how will you know your limits?
just a thought…love n peace, ankita.
I believe everything depends on the level we are currently at. Somehow Maslow hierarchy can be apply to real life. Improvement quality of my life means neverending searching for internal stimulus for being better and for fullfilment. But it is rally hard to find the right way. So in the meantime there are vicarious, temporary means as smiling, dancing, extreme sports, friends, helping others. But chasing for some temporary satisfaction can make me be even further from my primamy goal.
This makes me think that everybody needs motivation, for almost everybody this would mean someone realy close…
That is why I am stucked just with satisfying myself, waiting for something that would come someday… along with imrpovement quality of my life…
I´d like to thank you all for sharing your opinion/ ideas and Mr. Coehlo for having posted this question. I think that this is a wonderful way to share our thoughts with people who think alike. Thank you!
I hope that all of you will become successful in enriching your lives!
Lots of love, God bless
1. be grateful for what I have
2. Stop comparing myself
3. understand that having fun is important
4. exercise a little bit more
5. build trust
Need to start painting
Get serious abt photography…
Make some friends …..
Im everyone live there is some trouble
when we worry we make them double….
these are the lines of bob marley song
and i often sing aloud and really feel better
I try to forget upleasant situation and keep going on
i like exploring new places
enyoing every nice moment with my friend
and with my family
Hey Jude by Beatles
Make it better every day.
Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
Hey jude, dont be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.
And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,
Dont carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Hey jude, dont let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin,
Youre waiting for someone to perform with.
And dont you know that its just you, hey jude, youll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.
Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then youll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.
Na na na na na ,na na na, hey jude…
Listening music is crutial for me.
I love the lyrics of this song.
Namaste,
I should be more organized. I am good at getting organized, but staying organized is harder.
I need to accept more… myself as well as others. My insecurities keep my shy of people and get in the way of my art.
Consistency is a challenge to me. My routines are easily thrown off by circumstance. Routines keep me grounded so I can fly more gracefully in my art especially since I lack any sense of time.
I need to move from constantly reminding myself to be grateful to simply being grateful as a lifestyle. Again, circumstances make me lost my sense of humor/gratitude occasionally.
Dancing is my favorite way of celebrating life. That’s why I married a musician. :-) I need to do this more.
Learn to cry without feeling embarrassed or like I’m doing something wrong.
That’s a good start to an improved me. :-)
Love to you
My response to Paulo’s video.
http://acelebrationofcurves.com/2009/10/07/the-quality-of-your-life/
dance naked every day
yoga
playing my djembe drum and dijiridoo
singing at the top of my lungs
deep breathing
swimming
laughing every day
hiking
dancing naked sounds fun…i will do that…as it is i hate clothes.
:)
1 – Awaken me before the waking rings!
2 – Savour my coffee of morning in the most absolute peace… which nature noticed
3 – Make my exercises of relaxation therapy
4 – To take time to say « I love you » to the persons dear to my heart because tomorrow am another day
5 – Be happy when I dance Sévillanes where in physical education because what strengthens the body strengthens mind also!
6 – Make attention to what I eat (but not as absolutely as Anca !)… :o)
Namaste Marie,
Marvelous! Enjoy your dance especially! To me dance is a celebration of life!
Love to you
16. DO something I’ve wanted to try for a long time.
Last evening I went along to join in with bell-ringing at my local church and of course LOVED it…
[for Annie]
“If I had a bell
I’d ring it in the morning
I’d ring it in the evening
All over this land
I’d ring out danger
I’d ring out a warning
I’d ring out love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land”
Yeeehhhhhaaa … I HAD a BELL!!! ;o)Xxx
1) Aprender de mis errores.
2) Soñar siempre.
3) Nunca darme por vencido.
4) Dar siempre lo mejor de mi en lo que hago.
5) Preguntarme constantemente a donde me dirijo y a donde quiero llegar.
6) Reconocer que es por Dios lo que soy hasta el dia de hoy.
1. Make more music – sing it all out
2. Get more space in your life where you can be all you are – crazy, mad, silly, mean, crual – without a need to judge and act it all out
3. Trust myself
4. Spend more time with my wife and appreciate more that she is there
5. Find out what I am here for and do it
6. Confront my parents with all my anger that I have – get rid of the feeling that they have any power over me
Things that I do to improve my life … Well I dance, read work which I feel is good… spend some time alone every day for myself with no disturbance that could be even for 15-20 mins… remember Mr. GOD & try to shed off some pounds & think good … of course & I’ve to read something at least a page before I shut my eyes & end the day…
As Paul Cezzane stated “Life is a rainbow of chaos” so to have qulaity of life I would:
1.Live life to the fullest and only act when you are aligned with your values.
2.Love randomonly and unconditionally, this keeps ensures good outcomes.
3.Let go of everything that is not useful for you to carry with you in life – free yourself.
4.Laugh loudly – this is the best solution to most problems in life, it takes the edge off the.
5.Accept that your life is your choice – the universe might through a bombshell but it is how you rise up that counts.
6.Change – never stay still the everything is constantly adapting and I will adapt.
By doing all of this I have excellent days and challenging days but all of these days make me the person that I am today. Sometimes I do want to veg in front of the TV and watch a whole series and I do and I love it, guilt is a tool that creates doubt so I enjoy the moment because that is all we everr have.
veronica alive for a long long time
now and in future
an please write a book with veronicas life because veronica is alltimes alive now
and i hope you take organic cotton for your mangoshirts please because is really good cotton
thanks
Finding a magical space where all the external virus is overcome and light emerges, finding an oasis and allowing the senses to free up, see and feel, paint the colours
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Hi Leon,
Great video! Perhaps you need to turn up the sound on your speaker/microphone, as I couldn’t hear what you say?
Love and Admiration,
Heart
Nice Leon with nice ideas…Thanks
Love
Alexandra
Hi Leon, nice to see you here. Yes as you say, here is an oasis in the desert of the material world… Welcome!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Things that I do to improve my quality of life:
1. At least one call to a my best friend, one that is able to listen to me, just listen, be it in good or bad mood, that does not tell me what I should do … just listen and then sharing what images or else came as she finished listening to me, and the other side also, she does the same … what is there is I have this important person in my life that I know she will always be there for me and I for her and we take care of our relation even in our schedule that is full. There is a place dedicated to our friendship.
2. A massage per week with someone who had extraordinary skills (psychic, communication, professional, sensitiveness), a time for me important as body, mind and soul.
3. Helping another person by listening, sharing, etc … It is my line of work, but I found that important even if not a line of work. I participate in the AA Fraternity by sharing my experiences, etc … Need to give, and I receive so much in return, a good energy.
4. Make place in my agenda for a time with each of my children, my husband, people important for me (cinema, shopping, taking time to help on in a goal by accompanying, a rendez-vous for supper, receiving, buying something that one day I heard pleased and putting it in the room without saying and seeing the person come to me with a great smile and giving me a big hug).
5. Make place daily for my relation with my God, be it writing, praying, meditating. I must say that in each of the other things that I do, spirituality is always evolving be it alone or with others. That is the most important thing that I need to be part of my daily day.
God is supposed to be first. Giggles.
Terminé la semana pasada de leer uno de tus libros, “Once Minutos”, quería felicitarte por el salto que nos haces pegar de un continente a otro de la mano de María, de cómo escribes, y de lo mucho que me ha gustado tener ese libro entre mis manos los dos días que tardé en leerlo, dos tardes, de tirón, sentada y metida de lleno en la vida que retratas con tanta certeza. Un saludo, Nati Mus
Working out and being healthy
spend more time with good and cheerful friends
surround yourself with positive and successful people
enjoy the moment
don’t complain a lot
smile always
do what u feel u want to do!
feel the happiness and stop looking for it’s meaning
work hard, be strong but fair and kind
…………so many things, it’s all about you after all :)
Not bad at all.
Very positive thinking…I think one can feel the happiness when he obtains true peace ,see only good in this world ,be free from bonds and set others free…
honestly this question made me realise that its hardly anything that i conciously do to improve my quality of life..
comming to think of this it has to be
MUSIC..it helps me maintain my sanity :)
TEA -sounds silly but tea does in a way relaxes me..
DREAMING-no matter how sleepy i am..i have to dream for quite sometime…its a part of my real world :)
DANCING,READING,SPENDING TIME ALONE…are the other few things
what i want is being happy, in joy.
what i want to do is being less angry…
being angry drain energy and useless, that is why i try to be less angry these days…
but these couple days have been discouraging due to certain someone who keeps complaining =.=
and another thing is that i need to exercise more but could not bring myself to discipline =.=
I think the quality of life is knowledge. When we lack knowledge there is no quality to life. There is only what is given to us and we settle with it. But with knowledge we can know what is not given to us.
I would like to do the following things to improve the quality of mylife.
1.Live with Allah.
2.Read good books.
3.Spend time with children and patients.
4.Do a good deed everyday, be it helping someone read a book, or listening to somebody’s woes.
5.contact with nature.
6.Do something that will bring me closer to my dreams.
Live a free life – free from worry, hatred, traffic jam, jealously, loneliness, too-much-to-do list, guilty…
Live for peace…
Transition Towns
http://totnes.transitionnetwork.org/Central/About_u
This is what a WHOLE TOWN and it’s community members have been doing to improve their quality of life ;o)
Some interesting group projects:::
http://totnes.transitionnetwork.org/Central/Groups
For me:
To spread love and always follow my dreams. That’s it!
Love, Jay
What works the best for me: dont run away for the negative. look it in the eye and accept that it is there. then think what can i learn from this? and.. if this same situation already had happened again: even more reason to find out what it has to tell you.
The tendency now is to only focus on the postive and pretend there is no negative. but i have never seen a sun without a shadow. no + exists without a -.. So, dont be afraid to see it is all there. its up to us to find a way to deal with it.
forgive. no matter what happen. forgive. no matter how much it hurts. forgive. no matter how betrayed you felt. forgive. there’s no better way to live this life but to forgive. anger is a very exhausting emotion. it is easier to wake up everyday knowing that there’s no one you refuse to see, or you never wanted to speak with.
forgive. it’s the second strongest power after love.
4) Persistent spiritual practice: comprised of a little of this and a little of that:
- a little MEDITATION: Which does not, for me, necessarily mean sitting in a cross-legged position, with eyes closed. Meditation, for me, is simply taking the time to enter into a heightened state of awareness. This can be achieved while walking, sitting, lying down, or even while doing the dishes. It is just pausing, mentally, to perceive fully the Universe. The result – the opening up of intuitive insight.
- a little READING OF SCRIPTURE: The Bible, the Koran, the Gita, the Tao…. It does not matter. What does matter, what actually lends quality to my life, is that I do this every day, even for five minutes. The result – a heightened experience of synchronicity. (The passages which I read, at random, begin to be directly connected to my present body of experiences.)
- a little of some form of PHYSICAL PRACTICE: In my case, this is usually Ashtanga yoga, but it could be just about any activity which requires concentration and results in a progressive level of skill and/or effectiveness. Paulo, for example, practices archery. Some people practice martial arts. It doesn’t matter, so long as the practice is meditative and self-reflective. The result – lessons learned in this practice transfer over into life itself.
- a little PRAYER: Which I would not define as petitionary act, an exercise in “asking for” this or that. Prayer, to me, is simply maintaining an ongoing conversation with the Divine. This can take so many forms. The result – the closer I draw to the Divine, the more acutely I sense the living presence of the Divine in my life.
- a little JAPPA: For me, this takes the form of actual “jappa” – repeating a mantra, addressed to a particular deity (always the same), in conjunction with the use of a mala (a set of prayer beads). But there is no difference between this and the use of a rosary, or other similar methods. The key is simply the repetition – fixing the mind on the Divine. The result – a deep sense of peace, and again, a heightened experience of synchronicity throughout my life.
Aside from the practice of Ashtanga yoga, these few things do not actually require very much of my time each day, but I have found that, if I do practice these consistently – a little of this and a little of that on a daily basis- the quality of my life increases enormously and in every aspect of my existence.
Much Love,
Savita
Dear Savita
Some use to present such things on cd. Do you have such?
Will be useful. I ask just in case…
Love
Alexandra
I like very much Savita all you say, I feel the same in my inside.
thank you for sharing.
jappa….when i meditate…it soothes.
Fazer sorrir o meu filho e o meu namorado, fazÊ-los sentirem-se amados.
Ir á igreja pensar.´eu preciso de uns minutos por dia para pensar, e isto resulta comigo
dar uma boa suadela, a correr ou a fazer amor, faz-me sentir viva
Comer sentada comida boa, é também muito importante.
e é isto… de nada!
Things that improve my Quality of Life and i cannot live without, Therefor i make as much time as i can to:
1. Listen to Music
2. Be Creative
3. Spent time with my Loved ones
4. Meditation
5. Being outside in Nature
1 Enjoy life
2 Keep and eat Healthy
3 Laugh , Cry But laugh more then cry
4 Try to Help others when able
5 Walk not drive whenever possible
I saw somebody looking like you in ssa, ba.
just to check…
hope your good!
:D
Hi, Paulo.
Oh! I’m sorry. My baby touched my notebook while my absence.
for me:
1 reading
2 walking
3 contemplating
4 working
5 being aroud people i like
6 being able to try new experiences
Love,
Diego
;P
A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION BUT NOT TO THIS TOPIC. SORRY Mr. Coelho.
What does it changes in my soul when I would sleep with a man? I’m afraid of sleeping with someone, even when he loves me, because I think I feel like beeing used, when he leave me after 1 year. And I think I can’t still a virgin all my life, because I want to become children one time. Now I’m 20 years old and I don’t know if it’s right to sleep with someone or to let it be. ??!! The most people sleep with someone, they change the partners and the sex is very important for them. Is sex really so important?? I can’t imagine that. Maybe I’m wrong… I don’t know… I would like to read an answer. Thank you so much.
LOVE, Jane
Sleeping or having intimate relationship with someone is not something to be taken lightly.. Make sure you love the person you want to sleep with and tha tyou are coersed into doing it.. for a young woman, the first sexual encouter is very memorable and a very gentle loving partner would be ideal…Sex, is very important in a relationship between a man and a woman who are in love…but it also important to remember that there is a huge responsiblity that comes with it.
Young people these days tend to jump into bed with multiple partners without thinking of the consequenses…not saying they do it all at the same time of course…well, i hope not anyway…Which in my opinion they might lose complete trust in finding the right person for them if they have one partner after another.. Promiscuity could muck up a person’s ( man/woman ) emotional and spiritual well being..
On having children one day, young lady, i hope you find the right man to have a child with…and when you do, i hope your prepared to protect that child with your own life because that is what mothers are for…take care of you and i wish you all the best…oxoxoxo..
Hazel v , I completely agree
besitos
Dear Jane,
I’m thinking along the same lines as Hazel. Just yesterday, as a matter of fact, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine on this thing called “dating,” which is considered not only “normal” but even “obligatory” in American society. This, I question greatly. What is this thing anyway?! This idea that, if we are within a certain age range and single, that we absolutely MUST be “dating” one or more people, we MUST be out “shopping” for a mate, much in the same way that one would “shop” for a pair of shoes – just keep on trying them on, one after the other, until we find a pair that fits our needs.
This is insanity to me. Although I think dating it is fine for some people, it does not at all fit who I am or the way in which I wish to conduct my life. This does not mean that I’m not interested in meeting someone or having a genuine relationship, but simply that I am not willing to put myself “out on the market,” like some side of beef, hanging from the rafters, awaiting a buyer.
Along with this concept of dating, of course, comes the equally absurd social expectation that one should be having sex, trying it out, experimenting, and experiencing it with various partners. The more the better. Here the idea seems to be that it is something like a sport, requiring of skill, which can only be attained with repeated and persistent practice: It doesn’t matter with who – just do it! It’s good for you, healthy, like a jog through the park.
All of this, I think, fails to recognize and tends to totally negate the spiritual side of relationships and sex. It’s of the view that partners are like chewing gum – if you don’t like the flavor, just spit it out and try another. There is so much more to relationships AND sex than that.
You say in your post, “I don’t know if it’s right to sleep with someone.” I would say that, when it IS the right time (not the socially dictated “right time” but the “right time” AND the right person for you) you WILL know. You won’t have to wonder: Is this the right time? Don’t let people’s expectations, either individual or collective, rush you into any decisions that you do not feel fully prepared to make. You’re twenty! You have a whole lifetime ahead in which to have children. I didn’t have mine until I was thirty-five, and I am ever so grateful for that.
Wishing you all the best!
Much Love,
Savita
Hello Jane,
Perhaps you are fearful due to lack of information. There are some wonderful books to read about bodies and the wonderful things they can do. I am reading ‘Freedom’, by Matthew Pinto at the moment.
Sharing my body is a way of expressing love. With a loving purpose at heart, Your heart will know when it is the ‘right time’ for you to share your body with another.
Being celibate is also a rewarding option. Not everyone feels the same way.
Much Love from another Jane : )
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