Telling the Truth is ok. I think we should tell the Truth. But sometimes it hurts. I’m not going to tell someone : “Oh, I hate your dress.” It’s not going to add anything in the Universe and it’s going to make this person very unhappy.
So, in which condition can we lie? I’m counting on your answers.
Thank you,
Paulo
DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH. BUT IF YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE, POST IN YOUR MOTHER TONGUE (PORTUGUES, ESPANOL, FRANÇAIS, ETC.).
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I have been thinking a lot about this weeks subject. And one question that always comes back to me is: What is truth?
Paulo, could you tell us your thoughts about what truth is?
Love Anne S.
hello Anne
At the beginning of this week, I posted several quotes on truth… as answer to the question of lies itself…
and most of these quotes seem to show truth in a light where it is always running the gauntlet almost..
so i must also ask.. why should the truth be such a battle or gamble to honour
Bloody Jesus on a cross is an image reflected on human’s spirit when human believes him in earnest.
When we gaze at oneself’s inner world, the only path toward the Truth will start to open.
Jesus works just in human’s inner world when human arrives at unborn God’s world, – the only world without a sense of sin.
i had a job in environmental issue management for many years. We were working for the industry guarding the interests of companies against those of the environmental lobby to prevent certain gouvernment regulation.
We were extremely careful about how we phrased matters. Nothing we said could be pointed out as to be a lie actually, but it wasn´t quite true either.
At some point i realised we were not the only ones who juggled statistics into suitable reports, the others did so too. i suppose my political color is pretty green when it boils down to the core and it shook my sense of whats thrue and right to know that not only the industry is coloring facts to suit their means (as everyone is expecting them to) but to know for a fact that environmental organisations do the very same thing: as in turning flies into elefants, exaggerating, leaving essential information out and focussing on drama in order to get publicity and funds.
It´s tough not to shut ones eyes and blindly trust those whom one would like to trust best.
It is even tougher to play ones part in the big sceam instead of turning away from it in resignation.
‘Join them if you can´t beat them,’ i used to think, and ‘do as the romans when in Rome,’ but that just doesn´t work, does it. Live is rather worthless if you can´t stay true to yourself, i had to learn that the hard way you might say.
But i didn´t quit, i am still working in issue management after all. Except now i got to be in a position where i don´t sell little white lies anymore, for whatever good or less good reason.
One question that comes up for me,
If we humans could´n neither speak or write ..
Would we be lying then?
Words of King of the Kings have to be shared with everyone.
Words of King of the Kings were awaken.
“I’m within you, you are within me.”
My chest’s light within my innner world is with outter world’s light one and the same.
I think “Light exists within me, I am within this light floating this universe!”
On second thought,
“I’m within you, you are within me.”
I hear the voice.
Beyond visible world, within invisible world
Person who watchs world of the Light
The Light will shine from the top of highest mountain toward world.
Then, you will know.
You will watch our world by the light
then our world will shine with brilliantly.
The Light is joy, fullness, and an floating air around our world is love.
Haven’t felt from my father on the earth
Perfect peace can feel within Light’s breast.
My chest’s light was very bright, so my body was transparented by the Light as if my body disappeared.
The Light shined every corner of my body without a little darkness.
Then, my inside was same with outside by bright warm light.
Dear, Clarisa
Thank you for your reply. I really want to read your country’s language now.
With warmheart
Supia
Dear, Nancy.
Thank you for your support on my poetry with your beautiful mind.
With warmheart
Supia
Words of King of the Kings have to be shared with everyone.
Words King of the Kings were awaken.
“Ask, and it shall be given you.”
“Seek, and it shall be seeked you.”
“Knock, and it shall be opened to you.”
* Seek where your master is. In your head? Or, in your heart? If you seek with asking mind, you will seek.
You will know where your master in your heart.
* After you walk along the path of inner world, when you arrive at in front of a white veil, you must knock the white veil. When the white veil disappears with tremor, you will see the world on the other side of your consciousness.
After the white veil disappears, you will feel a newborn baby-like purity.
The River of Truth flows in the world. The world is the only bright light and you can hear the voice.
You can feel your perfection with the Holy spirit.
The meaning of time and space disappears in the world because we are connected with infinity.
Space upper space.
Time upper time.
The world is Paradise Jesus mentioned in the Holy Bible.
The only true place of consciousness.
* And then, ask to Father of the Light.
The voice said, “You are born from me so I’m your father.”
dearest Supia,
i am very surprised to see your post.
i was briefing the bible yesterday when i went to bed, which i do not usually do. then i read the similar part. something like ‘ask something what you want and it will be given…ask in the name of god and it will be given’
what a coincident or miracle!
also i was told something similar.
i was told ‘you are a child of jesus’.
so amazing!
anyway, thank you for your post!
love + blessings
Miracle chieko,
You HEAR your inside’s voice. It’s very important to understand yourself, the only place of human’s consciousness. My journey’s beginning maybe start to seek for source of the voice.
I read your and Elain’s interesting comments of the last week.
Miracle
Supia
That is not truth! how can you hate that dress ??
Kamal,
I feel that from where Supia is coming, the dress doesn’t matter. Wouldn’t it be nice to just wear something clean and comfortable and be accepted? Isn’t it sad that the majority of us want to fit in so badly that we conform to society in all kinds of ways? Does my butt look big in this?
Just pondering,
Elaine
I consider myself honest, yet know the biggest lies I perpetrate are against myself. Going along to get along. A deeply wounding lie.
In regard to others, what is the relationship? What is the situation, public? private? How important is it?
An interesting question with few easy answers.
Peace
porky pies is Cockney slang for “lies”
“Don’t be telling me porky pies!”
which, translated, means
“Don’t tell me lies!!”
;o) xx
…. and some are very hard to swallow :D
X
Wir Menschen brauchen Zeit um die Wahrheit zu verdauen, deshalb wäre besser wenn wir sie in einem sanften Weg führen und vor allem die Lösung dafür geben.
Ein Ratschlag hat eine große magische Wirkung auf Menschen.
Anstatt zu sagen dein Kleid ist hässlich, sagen dein Kleid passt nicht zu deinem Outfit, weil es zu dunkel ist. Ein helleres Kleid würde zu deinem Outfit besser passen.
Suzanne, Good idea about how to tell a woman her dress does not look good on her. A person’s emotions is based on communication. No need to make someone feel awful over a dress.
Your comment gave me the idea that everyone at a young age usually have good intentions when things turn out to be a mistake, but they are hurt by the people reaction. If a parent makes a child’s small mistakes into a huge deal it may affect the child later in life.
Better worst truth than the bestlie.
We lie so as not to hurt the person we love. In some grave ways we end up hurting them anyway. I believe we can only tell the person the truth in the light of love. If we love the person and wants them to change then we can tell the truth. If the motivation to tell the truth is different then its best to keep it to ourselves…
Can I ask for lies? This morning I have asked to be lied. I need lies like air … I need them to make me sick and forget … to burn the memories of that corner from heaven I tasted, when two minds live together like they have always lived, when two bodies melt in each other and the time stops, when two hearts feel each others joy and sadness … I need lies to find my strenght again … I need them to help me find my way back home … to my family, and to close this door knowing that there we stand …. beyond the door … there is where we belong … there we are time, love and words … I need lies to make me close the world I’ve seen through our eyes …. which I can’t see separatly … and I will never see … or maybe I will, next time, in another life. We met … but that’s all … and the time beautifully stoped, showing us who we are.
Words of King of the kings have to be shared with everyone.
“The truth will set you free.”
“Do love within the Truth.”
“All things under the sun head for itself’s perfection.”
This is the only true. The rest is the phenomenon of harmony or the phenomenon of disharmony caused by relation between the only truth and another inessencial monster. For heading for oneself’s perfection, we all should scatter fears by advancing through mist. All negative against others emotions under the sun come from fears. Every time we are able to choose whether heading for oneself’s perfection or whether choosing fear . Advance or retreat depends on the choosing ability of oneself. The spirit under oneself’s heart don’t want a division. For heading for the perfection, oneself with the spirit should remain in harmony.
To be harmonized, it is possible when oneself remains in the highest good. From a microbe or an object to human, there is unique universe in each single world. The height good is to respect universal existences as existence itself. Respect comes from belief.
In this virgin forest, an indivisual stands as a high each single tree independently.
Existence doesn’t harm each other’s existence. The sound within the virgin forest echoes. Just mixing sound by sound. For heading for oneself’s perfection, an indivisual should perceive what the indivisual wants from the bottom of one’s heart. The most important thing is that self’s appearance from the source is needed to revive. This is the first thing to do.
The under images is so beautiful and the most grand scene.
That is:
When an indivisual is advancing toward what an indivisual truly wants, other peoples in society around an indivisual scatter and make the way. Repeatly, when another indivisual is advancing toward what an indivisual truly wants, other peoples in society around an indivisual scatter and make the way.
When we go toward all different dreams each other, when we go toward an indivisual’s true dream, we are able to make colorful appearance’s beautiful society futher world.
When all people goes forward oneself’s dream, we all in the world are able to produce various flowers and fruits.
There is a scene on “Do away with all superstitions.”
“River of the Truth” which give a perfect recognition system to human is flowing at the place beyond transcending nation, race, culture, tradition. There, with the Light.
There is flowing images about a various value system. For example, belief, sincerity, courage etc.
Recognition of a value system is an ability of understanding and analyzing on the world.
A value system of the world providing the perfect form is floating like air around our world.
What an indivisual feels lack of recognition is the reason that the indivisual doesn’t possess a recognition system perfectly. While living a life, most people live by accepting just a part of this value system or a little more part of its.
In such a meaning, the value system of our world already perfects. So, world is like a code mass waiting interpretated by words within an indivisual .
The object to achieve from an indivisual’s birth to the indivisual’s death is to go forward what the indivisual truly wants, with analyzing and understanding of value system.
An indivisual needs to achieve the upper all things through the whole life.
By the time all stories finish, the last story is the following. :
That is a message on charity.
Hold a fallen person’s hand next to oneself within a family, at work futher a society, anywhere! Not for person refusing your holding hands but for a fallen person, hold their hands.
That is a message on an each unit community based on love. Love is the universal eye embrassing the whole of each unit as family, work, school etc. Love provides a point of view of universe wherever an indivisual is. World is a huge one based on love, the only true Light.
– from River of the Truth
THE WORDS OF kING OF THE kINGS IS AWAKEN.
I JUST CAN ANNOUNCE AS I SEE AND HEAR AM.
Dear chieko,
Your trivial thoughts with “why?” too is one of very useful tools understanding and analyzing our world and seprating to your heart and your head.
Feel your heart. + Know how to think.
Thank you for your warm heart on my post, chieko!
Voyant,
Supia
Beautiful Nancy,
Thank you for your kind reply.
Your blessing make me smile because i myself am very common person, Nancy!
I truly believe we all can awake oneself’s life and I am grateful to your warm heart.
Voyant,
Supia
a person who lies cannot be called weak or irrational….by telling the truth i express my opinion to an opinion…besides my truth can be a lie for you. for eg i hate bell bottoms but they were loved in 70s
it is said in bhagwad gita… ‘a single lie thats for the betterment of someone is bigger than a 100 truths’
i cannot change the world by always being truthful but if i can make the precious few happy by a lie then lying is a bliss
Well… My mother used to talk me about “white lies”. She said that sometimes they were essential to live a quiet life. I didn’t want to believe her and maybe i didn’t really understand her words.
When you’re leaving adolescence and approaching adulthood you discover that the world is not only black and white, but there is also these big space in the middle.
There are circumstances when you tell lies, like my mother for “quite leaving” or because telling then truth requires a courage that you don’t have at the moment, or also because you are talking with a little child that doesn’t have to be hurt, and… bceause you have fear of life.
But first of all it’s extremely difficult to be always sincere with ourselves. Sometimes lying to ourselves seems the best way to survive.
I think that being sincere with ourselves can be a really important and big step, which can change also our attitude towards others.
lying meets short-term needs
but never long-term solutions
;o)
Understand and love the truth within you xx
‘There!’ i pointed out a small row of stones through the yellow sand.’ Take the bike over that strip’. The kid obediently marched her bike over the patch of sand that road workers had left lying bare for the day. A man with a beige zipper jacket stood on the other side, bicycle in hand. A beige zipper jacked like men have been wearing for the past 50 years, sensible, non-communicative and utterly boring. ‘Bolding’ i thought – looking at the colorless thin hair above the undistinguished face.
The face broke into a shy smile, -recognition. ‘i know you!’ i had last seen the artist at an opening of Patty Smith’s works. The one time rock idol junky queen had created strangely naive drawings that failed to draw me in. i had walked around wondering about how people seem to clench to fame, do anything to remain in the spotlight to the cost of embarrassingly baring their soul in a field they are no master in. He and i had stood and talked for a while. Now i remember! That was the very day i also met Oliver. The month of may some 5 years ago, looking back it feels like it was that may that i lost my innocence, turned onto a path of half truth and deception.
Meeting the artist at the show had touched me: the gentle determination of his movements spoke of believe in his road, he was well on his way of becoming very well known: under contract at Delta gallery, his drawings shown everywhere, collectors following his development, all he dreamt of now was love, and he had met love, he admitted with a sweet smile, and he hoped to be a father of her child. How heartbreakingly warm he was then, so different to my own confused heart and mind. I had not thought about the Patty Smith show since, it just hurt to do so and i pushed the memory far to the back of my mind until today.
Now there he was again, some 5 years later, looking like a concierge. He recognized me too and the well known sweet smile opened up his face. In a few sentences his live lay before me, the broken relationship, the rare weekends spent with his little daughter, no longer at Delta’s, no longer the rising young star, ‘I am starting at Rembrandts coming week!’ He proclaimed proudly, – so he’d be a frame maker. A shot of pain seared through my heart and I felt embarrassed in his place. A frame maker! When i first met him you should have seen him, the radiance he had and the beauty of expression in his pen drawings and pure the vigor of them. This had been another 5 or eight years before the patty Smith show. With a colleague from the little student gallery i worked for we had finally found his atelier in a run down neighborhood in Rotterdam south. The area breathed illegal’s, that was before the country was swamped by workers from the east, illegal’s were from the South then still. ‘ Yeah, they come in here quite often,’ he admitted pointing out the broken window frame in the back room. But he laughed, ’they don’t take anything’ . And I felt protective towards the piles of paper lying everywhere, the hundreds of bic-pen drawings. Jacky Chan it was then. The actor had just been in town for the making of a new action movie and they had met. Of course he would meet Jacky Chan in person, no question about it! Our little gallery was so proud to show him, just before his break through we had gotten him to agree on a show! I couldn’t afford him then.
With the films of our shared history playing through my mind i smiled at him radiantly. ‘That’s great!’ i exclaimed! ‘Rembrandt, very well!’ And my heart hurt for him. What had happened? What had changed him into this dull elderly man. What had gotten him to quit drawing and focus on framing other peoples work. Part of me was in shock and i stared at him with a frozen smile. ‘Fantastic! ‘ i exclaimed. ‘Good Luck!’ i added, and the smile hurt in the corners, as i tried to hold on to the bright sparkle in my eyes and hide the lie. What i wanted to do was ask: ‘Why? What happened to make you stand still? Why aren’t you doing what you should be doing?’ i wanted to tell him ‘we need you! We need your view on our world. What you show us makes it real to us, makes us feel at home here.’ But I didn’t, instead i pointed to my daughter calling at me from her bike to come on and said goodbye. Perhaps some other time i though, – perhaps….
Montega hi !
quite frankly i liked the emotion u have brought out, we can identify with it. but narration could be better. and also that i feel angry with u. if i were u i would have asked, then and there. life is strange, what mnotivates me today may become a demotivator tomorrow. u could have asked. i feel !
love
aditya
Mon manteau est Made in China et probablement designed en Italie comme la plupart des vetements de cette marque.
Sometimes I think I move and behave by others’s words.
Why do I do such a behavior?
Where is my master? To others?
Sometimes I feel I become a liar to myself.
Why must I do such a foolish behavior?
While the situation is happening, I am not possible to connect with my Heart.
Always regret. What’s the matter in my mind?
trust,
practice,
meditation – focusing
and a little grit determination
with a pinch of [my favourite quote]
..
seeing with the heart.. clearly
the essential is invisible to the eye..
and some best wishes, because we all can feel this way
and yes, it’s tough
but trust in love…
then what you hope to achieve becomes possible.
x
I think we can lie when lying does not become a tool to harm others. There are a tenuous line between the two kinds of lie, and only sensitive and reasonable persons can distinguish them.
A “white lie”, the one who doesn’t make any damage, in fact, in most of cases it comes from good heart persons who do not want to hurt others for nothing, answering silly questions nor questions with no relevance that would not add anything good, telling the truth, which sometimes can be really heavy.
Unfortunately the second kind of lie, is much more frequent and comes from a wide, low and conscious variety of motivations; such envy, sense of power, just by the pleasure to see the others feeling bad, persons who has low self-esteem and do not accept their lives as they are, persons who lies for promote themselves, for marketing, persons who cheat around, compulsive liars, psychopaths, and so on.
Some days ago I watched on tv someone saying that all of us, use to lie 100 time per day, and we do not even realize that. I think it’s a big lie, cuz some poeple do not even speak 100 words per day! Anyway, like “House,M.D.” said, “everybody lies”
It is a part of being human, and this is one of the many reasons that I do prefer animals than human beings
The last line! And animals have not self-pity.
oi ,.. eu achu o seguinte … há verdades que machucam tp o exemplo do vestido que o paulo deu .. mas a verdades salvadoras como por exemplo fazer encher uma pessoa que usa drogas e você diz a verdade para tira-las do vicio …
O meu pai pensa que a verdade é tão reveladora que muitos nao gostam dela e vivem na mentira …
I once was told, “Honesty without love is cruelty”. To me, nothing could be more true. When someone has no interest in you and is giving a piece of their mind for the sake of it, it´s simply painful and causes resentment on the receiver’s part, to the point that they will most probably not even consider it, but rather reject it, and find plenty of excuses as to why they are a certain way, or did and (or) said a certain thing. So I believe that unless you are being candidly honest with someone for the right reasons you are causing more damage than anything else. Now together with this point mentioned above, it is vital to never say something behind someone´s back. If you choose not to say it to their face, seeing that it´s better that way, excellent! But walk on and forget about it, don´t mention it to anyone else, that could be far more painful and damaging than the first scenario (of being honest in a hurtful way).
Hope I wasn’t too long-winded, these are just my thoughts on the matter, awesome forum, I loved it! Please don´t mind my English, it´s not my first language.
Laura
Your english is perfectly fine – and that is the truth. ;)
Love,
Liina
Sometimes, we need to tell lies about the ones we love, to protect them from attack from others.
Thank you for making me ponder on this.
I used to hold truth as the greatest virtue. In that process have hurt a lot of people. Have made them feel misarable. After sometime truth started hurting me. I was on the receiving end of misery. Then I realised that truth alone is not the greatest virtue.
So if truth is sour, I try not to spell it out explicitly. I try to do my best to remain mute. If I am forced to make the statement, I do tell the truth but with a lot of sugar. But I do not lie. To me a truth not so sweet as a lie is a thousand times better.
To me, the biggest lie of all are SANTA and SATAN…..and yet, why do people keep believing in these myths?..
Children are told that if they are good, “SANTA” will bring rewards…If they are bad, they are rewarding “SATAN”…
Christmas is fast approaching…santa will dig deep into people’s wallets…People buying gifts that they can’t afford using their credit cards which they can’t pay..
Come January, satan claims it’s rewards in the form of people’s miseries and struggles to get by… sadly, some even commit suicide when reality hit.. We all fall victims to these lies which we willingly participated and passed on to the children..
I brought up my children knowing the truth that “Santa” does not exist..and the truth that there is no tooth fairy… and “satan” is only living in the mind of those who refuse to acknowledge the presence of God who dwells in everyone’s heart…
We must illiminate falsehood for the truth to come out.. A lie multiplies every minute to cover up for all the lies told….So the simple truth is burried in mountains of lies…. Children, with their innocense are always truthful so we must preserve their innocense by telling them what are real and not real… Let’s not take advantage of their ignorance by telling them all sorts of lies…
I see your point but I do love the Santa tale and I think it’s great to keep the magic of life alive in childrens hearts. I just have such pretty memories of waiting for my gifts and how magical it was, just like Disney movies, I think it’s great to have magic in our lives.
a few years ago when my daughter was asked ‘do you believe in Santa still?’she answered ‘If there is no Santa there is no god’.
ora mi dedicherò alla lettura del tuo nuovo libro! Il vincitore è solo! adoro i tuoi libri, mi sono appassionata alla lettura grazie ai tuoi racconti!
credo che dire la verità sia la cosa migliore, sì è vero, a volte può far male, anche molto!ci sono casi in cui rivelare il vero può ferire, esistono verità inutili perciò non occorre rivelarle, come dire ad una persona che vestita in quel modo sta male potrebbe farla star male per il resto della giornata o per il resto della sua vita sta alla persona che in quel caso si ritiene in grado di giudicare un altro se rivelare il vero sia strettamente necessario! riguardo le bugie, chi non ne ha mai dette? tutti noi nel bene o nel male abbiamo mentito! si dice appunto che piuttosto di far star male una persona sia giusto mentire, ma non sopporto affatto la storia delle bugie bianche, quelle che in teoria non faranno soffrire, ma non si può sapere per certo di come reagirà l’altro dopo la nostra bugia! per quanto mi riguarda preferisco essere sincera valutando sempre la situazione!
Truth has existence as lies are there. Whether we love or hate it we need lies as much as we truth. It varies from person to person how much he favors the lies. I follow 90-10 rule 90% truth and 10% lies. This 10% is the necessity.It include all the guilt,wrongs in life that we never want to disclose to any one.
I am sure that every one must have used lie at least once for his own personal favors.Specially in our professional environment (office/work)….. lies act as a tool.
There is common definition of truth in India which says “any lie used to save life is truth”.So even there are lies which can be better than truth.
But what about “HALF-TRUTH” ?
HALF-TRUTH is the father of lies, its the true devil.
“any lie used to save life is truth”…
A lie, no matter what, will never save lives … We can’t save lives not even our own.. because the truth as we all know is that, we are all going to die at some point we just don’t know when..we can only prolong lives…
We can’t save a good reputation by telling lies, but we may be able to restore our good reputation after the lies by showing genuine repentance..Telling lies in ‘professional’ environment such as a trusted employee using the company’s money for personal purposes, covering his/her corruption with lying doesn’t sound like professional in the true meaning of the word…That is nothing but plain corruption which is rampant in organizations all over the world … If one can’t be trusted in small things, he/she can never be trusted in big things… That is the truth!
With corrupt mindset, the 10% lies will slowly swallow the 90% truth…The headlines we hear about corruption are proofs of this..
So the things that we really need to concentrate is how are we humans going to enjoy our lives to the fullest?…How are we going to live our lives with human dignity?…Life may be short but it’s long enough to ponder what sort of legacy we leave behind to inherit by the next generations to come?… Are we going to continue to justify our little lies ?…
*FOR THE CHILDREN TO LIVE DIGNIFIED LIVES TO THE FULLEST, THEY NEED TO LEARN. BUT FOR THE ADULTS TO LIVE LIFE WITH DIGNITY TO THE FULLEST, THEY NEED TO UNLEARN..*hv*
Olá Paulo,
Nesse caso que exemplificou do vestido só contaria a verdade se tivesse intimidade com a pessoa e se o vestido fosse inadequado a ocasião. Eu particularmente prefiro as pessoas que têm essa coragem de serem super sinceras. Eu contaria a verdade seja ela qual for se alguma pessoa que estimo estivesse sendo passada para trás, ou seguindo um caminho que considero errado, ou se estivesse andando com alguém que eu soubesse de algum podre. A verdade dói mas as vezes é necessária para dar uma chacoalhada na pessoa.
Até mais.
so truthfuly said a lie with a good intention is absolutely perfect…but then how do we decide the truthfullness of the intention. the truthfullness of the intention stands if love exist. with true love in your heart no lie ever exist. you come across a long lost friend after a decade…see her and your heart feels warm with the love of friendship, you hug her tight and say that you had missed her a lot, whereas in reality you were too much busy in those years to even think of her. Do you think that is lying?
no nishi that is not lying !
for all u know, u miss your old frinends hidden somehwre in your subonsciousness, consciously u may be busy with your life, but in your subconsiousness which is reported to be 10 times bigger, many things including u’r old freinds live !
personally i don’t fell like ‘keeping’ in touch with old freinds, but the are always there in my psche, and many a times when we have met after years 5-7 years, these years just seems to evaporate and we bond where we left !
there is something called ” in letter and spirit” one should not be so concerned with the letter that one looses track of the spirit !
love
aditya
Dear Rosa,
I read your post and can only suggest that you help your sister face her fear. Bring light into her life. At first she might be mad,sad, and scared but she will know that there is someone out there that cares for her and will be by her side at all times. Don’t hint, just in the most mellow way ask her if she is aware. She might not believe you, then take her by the hand and show her. She needs to have peace within herself and not outside herself. (Yes I am talking about myself as well, I wish someone would have proceeded the same way with me.) I learned that to Love is to Let go and when we save a soul, we save a whole world. Best of Luck, my prayers are with you.
Regards,
Larisa
To lie to protect the one you love is sometimes justified, but I´d rather get hurt by the truth than live happily in a lie.
that is teh way of a wol !!
love
aditya
i think lying is hard to be accepted. but when we hear the truth, sometimes, its even harder.
though, we lie because we don’t want to hurt another person, or just to cover up something that we think might cause trouble if we let out the truth, as cliche as it may seem, the truth always surfaces.
and even if our intentions were not to hurt the other person, deep inside, i think, we’re scarring our own feelings. knowing that we try to make them feel better, makes us somehow, feel bad. i dont know aobut other people, but when i lie, i feel uncomfortable, though i have to lie. i lie. i have to. i am human. and circumstances come wherein i have to lie. but i don’t feel very good about it.
people often say they have no choice but to lie, but we have. we can always tell the truth and face the consequences, but we all are cowards, and just choose the easier way out– lie.
so i guess, as much as possible, its better not to say anything.
we all lie. and i guess we can’t do anything about it, only, we can try and make use of “lies” less often…
namaste
~xara
For me it’s a really interesting question.
I was commenting about it in my weekly English class. We were discussing about homosexuality and I noticed the giggly faces some of my classmates had when talking about gays and I didn’t want to let the opportunity pass by. So I asked them if it was so difficult for them to accept that they were different. I told them that being authentic was very important to me and I could figure out how difficult was for gays to hide their sexual orientation because of society pressure.
If I had to lie about who I am or what I have, it would be very difficult for me.
As a teenager I was really insecure and poor, so I used to lie about things like the shoes I was going to wear for graduation that were already worn out. I told my best friend that my father had punished me and I had to wear the old shoes just because I didn’t want to admit that my parents didn’t have money to buy a new pair of shoes.
Being poor was a shame to me.
I figure most people have lied the same way I did. However, these apparently inoffensive lies end up corroding your soul. Specially because you end up believing in them. So I think the worst lies are the ones you tell to yourself because these lies hinder your inner growth.
Fortunately, as time went on I managed to control lies because I accepted myself. Truth set me free.
Nowadays I try to be the most authentic I can. If it is necessary to lie I lie, but I prefer to be quiet to tell a lie.
As to the conditions in which we can lie I have to tell you that one of them is when you love someone who is not your official partner. Love is above everything.
if u lie for self gain, it will corrode uour soul !
truth sets u free
love
aditya
Truth sets us free.
What a difficult question. I have read some very thoughtful replies, as I always do here. After thinking about this, I have decided that it comes down to a matter of Intention. If one’s Intention is to ‘do no harm,’ then a lie is sometimes justified as is withholding a truth or in telling a truth that may be uncomfortable. But since ‘we see the world as we are’ (Nin), even that solution has its problems.
May God forgive me for the words that do not belong to the Taqwa and piety.
Dear sir,and friends.I think in no way should we tell a lie for the following reasons:
1.Its not us who can truely get the control of our relationships,probably we are weak enough for that.So tell the truth,let them feel bad about it for the time being and then better believe in the perfect being and let him put the things in order for you.serve him by serving his creation,and he will arrange everything in beatiful order.Dont you see the perfect order all around in the universe.Have a glance again,in your mind.what can stop him in arranging things for you? BELIEVE IN HIM SO THAT YOU MAY TRUELY BELIEVE IN YOUR INABILITIES AND HUMILITY.
2.If there are things you are afraid to express,just dont mention them,but when ever you are asked tell the truth.Even then if you have things to lie for,then better start speaking truth with yourself first.
wat about that if a person thinks wrong and we don’t hurt him n telling him the lies .but actually he needs the true .it hurts but its important too. just think abt it
I truly feel the only way we can find an understanding in this world is if we were to desensitize ourselves and have control over our emotions, but i do not see that happening anytime soon. So for now i believe we must be considerate for each others feelings in hopes we promote positive energy instead of negative anger and fury. So by tell a white lie that is really doing more good than harm we spread positivity we increase the confidence in people. but nothing can run on lies forever, i guess it all depends who your addressing the lie to. A relationship built on truth is a relationship without fear, now one built on lies is a relationship thats dead before we know it.
Thank you Paulo
A relationship built on the truth ia s relationship withour fear, Rashid. So true!
But sometimes I think I move and behave by others’s words.
Why do I do such a behavior?
Where is my master? To others?
Sometimes I feel I become a liar to myself.
Hi freinds !
Truth and lies : It is important for us to be clear on the issue, because if we are not clear and are following a certain rule like speak the truth, we end up in a lot of emotional pain and sometimes physical too ( people who are not happy with our truth may bang us ;-D ), the issue at hand necessitates that any artificial limit like word count be done away with, so that one is able to address the issue satisfactorily !
let me begin by sharing with you a story about buddha, which was shared by paulo too some time ago !
Buddha and Ananda ( his PA, man Friday, constant companion,…. ), both are contemplating as they watch morning turn into day, sitting by the riverbank, below a huge banyan tree, since his enlightenment under a banyan tree, Buddha was slightly partial towards banyan trees while choosing a place to sit. a person, no doubt impressed with the reputation which followed or rather preceded buddha everywhere he went, came and asks buddha
“Does god exist”
buddha says “no it does not”. the person appears stunned and leaves.
another person comes, after about 15 minutes and coincidently asks the same question and now buddha’s reply is “yes it does”, the person looks surprised, but even more surprised was Ananda, though he did not say anything, as mostly he preferred to listen. The morning has now almost matured into a day, it’s about time Buddha and ananda get up and do whateverever buddhas do at midday when a third person comes and lo and behold he too asks the same question “does god exist” and this time buddha says “maybe”, the person looks amazed and leaves. now this is too much for ananda, he had pre-secured his right to ask as many questions as he wants, he exercises that right and asks buddha ” now what was that, you have given three diffrent and almost conflicting answers to the same question, pardon my stupidity, but i fail to comprehend this” . Buddha once again dazzles his sublime smile and says, a voice which cannot be mistaken for anything other than most compassionate, ” my dear ananda, so honest and dear ….”
( truth can vary from person to person, truth is not something written in stone same for all, truth can encompass all falsehoods in it )
Zesus’s life, i am not much aware of, neither are many, but in critics of Christianity i read somewhere that life of zesus from age 12 to about 28 is shrouded in mystery, no one knows what he did, where he was,… kind of. even looking at his miracles one would suspect a little naughtiness !! christians please take no offence, i am no Christian ( so shame in being a non christian, Christ too was a non catholic ) and feel no obligation to worship him, instead i have a ‘pally’ relationship with him ! let’s leave him alone ! poor chap !! we crucified him anyway !!
Krishna, i will assume u have heard of, he was called chaliya, the cheat, u may well guess what his reputation must have been w.r.t to being truthful, entirely truthful ! one famous situation comes to mind where he converts a truth into a lie by timely, deliberate sounding of conch shell, Yudhisthira was one who always spoke the truth, but then a chap who gambles putting his wife on stake, must have some loose nuts somewhere ! and he too was guilty of that lie from Krishna, if not by commission then surely by omission !
Rama, who is called maryaada purushottam meaning one with perfect behaviour, no other avtaar, incarnation of God is supposed to be as good as rama so far as duty and behaviour is concerned. even if one assumes that all these are mere figments of human imagination, one cannot deny that the collective wisdom of the people of this ancient land holds that rama as being maryaada purushottam. Although he is not accused of lying anywhere, he cheated once when he killed Baali unfairly and in those days being fair in war ( and love) was held in very high esteem. on another occasion rama transfers his problems on to younger brother lakshmana ( unfair thing to do in first place, passing one’s burden to one’s younger brother ) by implying a lie.
List is long and we can continue to remain orbiting for centuries ! coming to point.
Vedas say : speak the truth, speak the pleasant and it goes one step further don’t speak if u don’t have anything pleasant to say. Let me quickly add, nothing should be taken as a strict rule, e.g. if I am a doctor and I need to convey to a patient that s/he is suffering from some dreaded disease, what I can do is make it as less unpleasant as possible, can some hope be offered.
Another reason why such a dictate is given is that, often we may be tempted to belittle someone in the name of truth. “What a poor dress” implies a poor dressing sense too ! Can it be said differently, less hurtful ! LETS’ once again visit that famous lao Tzu quote “Truth without love creates criticism” if we find that we are being critical let’s re-examine our truth, is it with love or without !
Let’s apply our minds and find a truth which won’t hurt so much, but then again our intention at times may be to cause hurt, to shake ! then it’s different.
So long as it’s the other person best interest which we have at our heart we need not bother if what we need to say is truth or not ! e.g suppose a child comes running to u and hides nearby followed by two chaps who are out with knives looking for the child, they ask u if u have seen the child, then your truth that u have is actually not truth, your answer will be that u have not. Situation changes if it’s a police man asking you, situation changes again if it’s a policeman asking u but it was not a child but a grown up man who is a stranger, again if he is a known person. So long as we have compassion in our heart, we won’t err !!! touchwood!
So it’s not forbidden to lie, but it should not be for petty personal gains ! as this quote from paulo seems to suggest !
So much for 3 paras, I would have continued with a folklore story I heard as a child “athens ka satyarthi” – truth seeker from Athens ( hey u greeks, our acquaintance with each other goes back a few centuries, err millennia ) which is a story of a man from Athens who became ‘bhakta’ of goddess kali and was able to please her enough, only to seek one boon to see truth face to face ! but as always that story would make this post toooooo long ! some other time !
Love
Aditya
: Remove the lies and u have truth – neti, neti in Upanishads !!
Before i run away, let me confess at one place i have said Vedas say and then said ……., in fact i have never even read vedas, only a few upanishads and that too someone else’ interpretation, i won’t be able to quote the page number etc, so let me be mischivious and arrogant and change it to Vedas (should ) say !! and then say ….. hi heart wasn’t that height of arrogance !
Hi Aditya!
You go chap! hehe. I have more faith in you than in Veda, as I know you a little, and so to speak nothing about Veda. Would I ‘advice’ the Holy Bible? Yeah! Why not…church authorities has done it historically and to this day…and I have a few opinions here and there.
Love,
Heart
Why do people read the Holy Bible in church with blind eyes, heart?
For seeking what truth is?
Or, for God’s words? For a relief?
I don’t understand at all.
Aditya, I envy you of your passion on seeking the truth.
And thank you for sharing your long opinion.
By the way, I don’t understand why people the truth seeks.
Hi, aditya
Ultimate truth is the same truth each other.
So, when human can watch ultimate truth, the soul of world can be connected with each other.
When you start to gaze at your heart, you will find the ultimate truth in the end of the path. For that, you can learn from all of the world.
And when human arrive at ultimate truth, because Jesus works just in human’s spirit, other people never can watch Jesus.
Thank you for your reading.
Love
Supia
Dear, aditya
I now saw your reply for Nothing. You already look like knowing many things. The answerings in my vague memory was connected with my childhood memories. If anybody can repair oneself’s patterned childhood memories again, he will be more happier. For that, he have to analyze his parent’s the way of bringing up children. Many memory is connected with such “inner unhappiness”.
Love
Supia
Some say that saying the truth is the main ingredient for a proper communication. Communication fails because many times the truth cannot be handled. Personally, I never understood what was best for me: when I was lied to, I got mad because I was lied to, but when I heard the real truth it hurt me so badly that I’ve wished to never have heard the truth. Maybe the ideal thing whould be not to do anything that will harm other people, but that also seems difficult to accomplish. I don’t think that there should be any “acceptable conditions” when we can lie. Unfortunately, we will always lie because that seems to be one of the natures of human beings.
Thank you Kathleen..it’s so nice that you feel what I said, energy is what I’m trying to get, working on it every day.
This example is to lie about an opinion. “I hate you dress” would only manifest your own feeling towards an object. Says more about yourself than the object. Without having contemplated on why you “hate” you can better lie to the person involved and sort out your own negative feeling in the mean time.
Before lying, it is preferable to be quiet.
Antes que mentir, es preferible callar.
yea we can stop ouyrselves from telling a true that can hurt others but there r other alternatives to avoid telling a lies .with love and gratitude .ARHAM
If you lie because you love and know that the truth will in no way amend or rectify the situation, and if the lie is not going to hurt anyone involved as the truth will in that instance, I think it is acceptable. Nothing done out of love and concern for another could be wrong, however, careful judgement is required as in all things. I am reading The Road to San Tiago at the moment – thank you for the roads that you are opening in my journey with each of your books that I read.
Much Love
Eleanor
I have thought about lies and I read many comments here.
I came to a particular thought: don’t you believe that lies have also an economic, (bad), result?
I mean:
-advertising often tell lies: buy this product and you’ll be beautiful, buy that and you’ll have many women, and so on.
they increase selling in the short term, then, produce depression (people realize that were lies), and the selling decrease.
-at the same time, job environment, when is a “nest of snakes” (and this may happen), force people to lie to everybody, and doing so, prevent the company to exploit the positive forces that everyone can bring, for people are afraid to tell the truth.
So at the end I came to a personal opinion that lies, hate, power (and I don’t mean “The Power” like the one of God), bring a sort of bad energy, that seem to help in the short term, and kill in a long term.
My Teacher said that in the Gospel there is a speech that said “smooth the way to the Lord”.
He said that in our life, depression are holes (and they must be fullfilled), and Pride are mountains (and must be leveled).
At the same time lies are curves, that should be smoothed.
Love
Chris
To me it is agape. To him it is nothing.
I had to lie when I happened to be in a working environment that was not safe for me.
by the way, I often have the feeling that lies show themselves: little movement in the face, blinking of one eye only, movement of the body. and if you can observe multiple lies coming from one person, you can see a response pattern.
why now u have even semi-scientific lie detectors !
every lie is caught – the universe knows !
love
aditya
There are lots of situations that require lies. There are people who ask questions to reaffirm their negative preconceptions about me and I lie to them unabashedly since they already ‘know’ what the truth is. Then there are people I’m not accountable to or friends with who ask questions that they can clearly see are making me uncomfortable. A lie here, in my opinion, serves my soul better than to insult them
i wish you well, in proving them all wrong ! ;o) it’s your right to shine
i think is better to lie than to hurt some one, im no way saying that in every situation we can lie, but where i can save a heart from being hurt by an unnecccessary truth i would prefer to lie. like if i know things are going to be at their worest form, but to keep going n to encourage we can lie to our friend to our family that, nono things would be in sum time, just keep going, so they may not leave disheartedly, the path in half way.
regards
only if u could pray and beleive what u are saying to your freind, it may not remain a lie !
love
aditya
Paulo, I found your site because I saw a post that you are considering running for office as a Green Party candidate in Brasil. I think this is relevant because our entire society is a lie — a dangerous lie — and the ramifications are now being felt. And I think the Green Party worldwide has a critical role to play in a very difficult situation, which is to break the truth to the people who have bought the lie.
Globalization, powered by easy access to fossil fuels, has destroyed countless communities, countless lives, countless habitats. Economic growth has put so many people to work, and our livelihoods are entangled in an unsustainable web of fossil fuels and habitat destruction. And now the life support systems of our planet are seriously strained. And we are nearing planetary tipping points for climate catastrophe.
Politicians and NGOs have been lying to the people — either because they depend upon corporate money to sustain themselves, or because they are afraid we cannot handle the truth.
But if the truth is kept hidden from us, so too will the real solutions to the converging crises. We cannot begin to solve the problems until we understand them, and all their interconnected strands.
No longer can we afford the lie that technology will save us, or Obama will save us, or that everything is fine. We can only save ourselves. We need candidates who tell the truth, and we need political action across the planet that focuses on cross-cutting, holistic solutions to interrelated problems. That’s the challenge for the Greens, and for our species. I thank you for your honesty and courage.
what do the green party want to achive, and why presume that Obama will not be any help ! he appears to be a sincere chap, if what we ( the green party ) wants is correct then surely he will listen, or at least the green party should make an attempt. and if i am not mistaken paulo has many oppertunities of intercating with these heads of states at world conferences where he is invited to speak, he can always choose to follow up with a few of his listeners as to what have they done in line with their claps and appreciation of his speech ! paulo interacts with them at some retreats too. people are willing to listen to sense, election of obama is an example. everything is not fine, but eather than fighting amongst ourselvs let’s pool our resources. Big business is something real, we all helped create, now we can just renounce it, but it can be certainly made more enlightned !
love
aditya
Love never lies
if you are mad – be mad
if you see love – you are love – be love
that is truth
never forget love
god separated himself from himself to expand love
…the creation of the goddess…
but god is not separate
you are beautiful. thank you (for trancending time and space now and again).
“But above all, I’m a woman”…
“From that day on, the desert would represent only one thing to he: the hope for his return.”
Well… first im glad because i can participate in this blog, and what makes me feel in this way is that is answering a question of my favorite writer…
In my opinion, of course, what you mean is about be honest, and there is not reason to lie or be honest if you dont need to and somebody is going to feel hurt. As you said it is not going to add anything in the universe, so? why tell it.
Really, people must not lie, sometimes people say a lie to make others feel in a way they think is right.
But if you are honest this person could fix his / her mistake, but this mistake is what we think is wrong, im talking about the dress, just an example.
But it is not wrong because every mind is a different world, and anybody have to have the same likes you do.
I hope you get my point… Thanks
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