published in Khaleej Times on Nov 11, 2009
I know a man who has seen a thousand doctors. Let us call him Thomas. He is 80 years old but even so, a thousand is a huge number. In a year, he would have seen 12 new doctors on the average. A thousand different doctors means perhaps 20,000 consultations. Sometimes Thomas sees three different doctors in one afternoon.
Some of Thomas’s friends are doctors. Some of his doctors become his friends. His doctors range from the junior to the senior, from those in government hospitals to those in private practice, from generalists to specialists. Men, women, foreigners, graduates from local universities; he has seen them all. Sometimes he sees them just to measure his blood pressure.
Sometimes it is for a more serious matter like an unexplained chest pain. He has spent about $230,000 in his lifetime on doctor visits, blood tests, medications, X-rays, scans and minor surgeries.
He has no regrets. Others may splurge on flashy cars or the services of a sommelier, but for Thomas it is doctors, doctors and more doctors. Sadly, Thomas was diagnosed with lung cancer recently and was referred to me. I wonder how many more oncologists he has seen or will be seeing.
Thomas came across as a well adjusted gentleman. He did not exhibit any verbal or physical tic. He spoke well. He gave his medical history clearly and answered most of my questions willingly and appropriately. Having gained his trust, I decided to explore his need to see so many doctors. He was forthright about it. He is afraid to die.
So many of us, with or without cancer, are not willing to admit to our fear of death. We couch our fear like this: “Doctor, I am not afraid to die but I fear the process of dying.” Others of a more poetic bent will say, “Oh, death, where is thy sting?” It is a badge of honor we proudly wear on our sleeves.
Thomas was afraid of death, and he was not afraid to admit it. That’s courage. He was going to do his best to postpone it. Of course, seeing a thousand doctors does not help. It may even be harmful. Conflicting opinions lead to confusion and anxiety. Excessive and unnecessary X-rays and CT scans increase the chance of radiation- induced cancer.
Apart from his fear of death, Thomas also disclosed a distrust of doctors. He was seeking as many opinions as possible before deciding on treatment. He had his doubts. Now you know why I gave Thomas his moniker.
Is Thomas suffering from hypochondriasis? The condition is characterised by fears that minor bodily symptoms may indicate a serious illness. The hypochondriac constantly examines himself; self-diagnosis becomes a preoccupation. He expresses doubt and disbelief in the doctor’s diagnosis. Thomas has some traits of a hypochondriac but that is too easy a label to stick on him. Thomas had a CT scan of his chest two years ago that disclosed a shadow in his lung. He was treated for pneumonia. The possibility of cancer was excluded when most of the shadow disappeared with a course of antibiotics. The doctors should have gone the extra mile to exclude cancer with a PET/CT scan and a biopsy.
Some may diagnose Thomas with thanatophobia — an undue obsession with death (especially one’s own) to the extent that it becomes psychologically crippling. Again, this would be too convenient a label. Thomas is a successful entrepreneur and is socially adept.
I really don’t know. We tend to medicalise every little symptom and discomfort. From an infant’s excessive crying to teenage angst to a wage earner’s blues. There is a pill for everything: insomnia, erectile dysfunction and the sadness of bereavement. Perhaps Thomas has the time and money to see many doctors and he feels good doing this. It is therapeutic for him, if you can forgive my use of the word. It may be no different from some others I know who spend as much as Thomas does on audiovisual systems or eating unmentionable parts of endangered animals.
I shall help Thomas fight his cancer. I will dissuade him from unnecessary blood tests and scans. I will not judge him. Most of all, I will not medicalize his fear of death. It is about being human. There is no pill for it.
Albert Lim Kok Hooi is an oncologist based in Kuala Lumpur
I have been thinking a bout the meaning of words and names and I take notice of them more and more each day.
Un soulier in French means shoe
A shoe is used for walking
Soulier comes from the Latin word subtelare = courbe de la plante du pied – curve of the sole of the foot -(Arch)
In English if you divide the name it becomes SOUL = ame
sou in french means wealth
lier = link
I can see a link between wealth and soul and the reason for walking.
It makes sense to me.
Bjs
J’ai pense a la signification des noms et des mots et je fais de plus en plus attention a cela.
Un soulier est utilise pour marcher.
Soulier vient du latin subtelare – courbe de la plante du pied -(ARCH)
En anglais le mot, quand il est divise = soul – ame
sou = richesse
lier = link
Je vois un lien entre la richesse et l’ame et la raison pour marcher, ca a du sens pour moi.
Bjs
Congratulations to Dr Albert Lim Kok “Hooi” for showing so much humanity.
“Our body, a mini-society in equilibrium
“This image is a lot more than a simple parabola.
The Chinese Energetics understood this some 3,000 years ago with its five elements’ law.
The kidney is the guardian of the ancestral memory.
the liver is the Energy and creative factory,
the lungs deal with relation,
the heart makes love moves,
the pancreas ensures the equilibrium,
there is also the gall-bladder who is the Peace Judge of the inner reference,
the organs of the senses provide the perception and communication.
On several parts of our body, one can find the whole of our body (iris, hand, foot, ear, inside the nose, tongue, ) the aim of our functioning is to maintain this equilibrium. Medicine calls it homeostasis. From this equilibrium depends our good health.
It is the definition itself.
The body can then be seen as a society in equilibrium. Let’s talk without taking too much risk about the analogy of human society.
- The immune system can be compared to the Police and the Army, also to Justice,
- the muscular system fits with the working world and also the setting-up of action and fulfilment,
- the cerebral system is the Government,
- the digestive system is similar to the agricultural one and allows using the wealth that have been given to us to develop,
- the hormonal system is linked with culture and feelings,
- the pulmonary system is linked with the world and ecology,
- the kidney represents structures, constitution, the patrimony, our integrity and our identity,
- the heart , of course, talks of love , sharing, it is also the prime-mover for life,
The illness reminds us of social conflicts, crisis, wars and transformations.
All this together , that came to us after millions of years of evolution go hands in hands with wisdom.
Nothing happens by chance.
To understand illness as a wisdom would allow us to understand that the troubles of the world could only be illnesses that carry solutions.”Dr Olivier Soulier
Jung has said very well :”You will not heal from your illnesses, your illnesses will heal you.”
I find this brilliant article written by Dr Soulier of Nantes and wanted to share it with you. It helped me to understand myself better.
Love
Marie-Christine
I’m speakless…it’s also all real. The way we look & move & talk & react etc is the mirror of what’s inside of us. I also know now that we all need some age to understand.
This is a beautifull article to share, thanks.
Brigitte.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?=UaVIuy-ZMiY&feature=related
Caroline Myss on Chakras
Le Dr Olivier Soulier explique dans cette article la relation du corps lorsqu’elle est en equilibre et ce qui se passe lorsque la maladie s’installe.
“Notre corps, une mini-societe en equilibre.
Cette image est beaucoup plus qu’une simple parabole.
L’energetique chinoise avait deja compris cela il y 3000 ans dans sa loi des cinq elements.
“Le rein est le gardien de la memoire ancestrale. Le foie est l’usine a energie et a creation. Le poumon s’occupe de la relation.
Le coeur fait circuler l’amour. La rate assure l’equilibre. Il y a encore la vesicule biliaire qui est le juge de paix de la reference interieure. Les organes des sens assurent la perception et la communication.
Sur plusieurs zones de notre corps se trouve resumee la totalite de notre corps (iris, main,pied, oreille, face interieur du nez,langue..) Le but de notre fonctionnement est de maintenir cet equilibre, la medecine appelle cela l’homomeostasie. C’est de cet equilibre que depend notre bonne sante,c’en est meme la definition>
Le corps peut donc se concevoir comme une societe en equilibre. Poussons sand trop de risque l’analogie avec la societe humaine.
- le systeme immunitaire est semblable a la police et a l’armee interieure , a la justice aussi.
- Le systeme musculaire correspond au monde du travail, mais aussi a la mise en action et la realisation.
- le systeme cerebral est le gouvernement.
- le systeme digestif correspond a l’agriculture et permet l’utilisation des richesses qui nous sont donnees pour nous construire,
-le systeme hormonal est lie a la culture et aux emotions
- le systeme pulmonaire est relie au monde et a l’ecologie
- le rein represente les structures , la constitution, le patrimoine, notre integrite et notre identite.
- le coeur, evidemment , parle d’amour, de partage, c’est aussi le moteur de la vie.
- La maladie rappelle les conflits sociaux, les crises, les guerres et les mutations.
Tout cet ensemble , parvenu jusqu’a nous apres des millions d’annees d’evolution, fonctionne avec sagesse. Rien n’arrive par hasard. Apprehender la maladie comme une sagesse nous permettrait de comprendre que les troubles du monde ne seraient que des maladies porteuses de solutions.
Jung l’avait bien dit:”Vous ne guerirez pas de vos maladies, ce sont vos maladies qui vous gueriront.”
Olivier Soulier medecin
Hi Paulo
My dad and I are certainly honoured that you have shared his article on your wonderful blog. You have made him a very happy man. I am not sure if there is a word limit but could you possibly correct the title/web address as my dad’s name is Albert Lim Kok “Hooi” and not Albert Lim Kok Hoo.
We must understand that death is part of our life. One must see it as the completion of a chapter of our existence. Our physical body will no longer exist but our energy will continue to live and will re-appear some where else in a different time and form. If we consider death a natural event then we will not be afraid of it. There is nothing in this world that will last for ever therefore one should make the best it and always trying to be a good human being. This way of thinking will help one to accept death and be prepared when it is time to leave our bodies and move on.
Thomas my heart and thoughts are with you to help you defeat your illness. You must have faith and you will be prepared for anything that life has planned for you.
Paulo, thank you for sharing this.
Alfredo
I have the opposite experience. Because I have spiritual experiences my physician thinks that there might be something… But yet, I seem so rational, so how can this be? And I tell him again and again that his scientific world is too limited, his medical education is not sufficient to deal with people who believes in Jesus and guardian angels…. So I bring him some litterature, like “Warrior of the Light” by Paulo Coelho, articles, and so on – just to help him a little on his way to enlightenment. :-) But no, this is of no interest to him. But I will never take a single pill just because I have been lucky enough to have a few spiritual experiences. What is considered a little odd in our culture, is valued among native peoples living in and close to nature. Also, some Christian communities value these experiences. But I could never take drugs to achieve these experiences. I have too much respect for the chemical balance in our brains.
Since my first diagnosis of cancer in 2005 I am in treatment by the same doctor. He said he will do his best and I simply trusted him out of my intuition. When I had a recidive two years ago I heard also other opinions – the question was another chemo or only radiation – without a result what to do, the one doctors said chemo yes the others said no. Once more I heard to my intuition (I said no) and stayed by my first doctor (who first said no it isn’t nessecary but then proposed a light chemo, because of the other doctors opinions). I decided to have no second chemo but radiation. Now it is clear that I was right to follow my intuition.
It makes sense to ask for different opinions, but in the end you have to trust one doctor and first of all yourself.
My doctor now goes into retirement. I hope I will soon find a new doctor I trust simply out of my intuition.
Thank you Paulo,
Enjoyed the story, honesty of Thomas’ feelings about death, and doctor’s humanity in this article. My heart went out to him, and am wondering how he is doing right now. Perhaps he might find this Blog to read, and feel comforted by more compassion and love of the readers here.
A first experience with death, was at about 7 years old, when a friend’s father died. Completely bewildered by this word and what it might mean. No one would talk about it. I went to the praire for answers, watched clouds and realized that my friend’s dad had vanished to the eye, gone to be with god. I could understand wanting to be with god, but did not understand ‘why’ he wanted to leave when he did. And wondered how long he would stay with god before coming back to tell stories of his adventure.
So at the time, my friend and I did not comprehend why everyone was so sad. But we saw together in time, that her dad was not coming home to her. And special events that her family celebrated, were especially difficult.
Then, a few years ago, I turned on the radio – not something I normally did. A broadcast was on, about raising awareness of childhood cancer. The announcer was interviewing a little 6 year old boy, chatting about the hospital stays, his fight, and then asked the boy,’Are you afraid?’
He said cheerfully ‘oh NO, because only two things can happen. Either god will take the cancer from me, or the cancer will take me to god’.
Just before my dad died, the doctor asked what she could do, to make him more comfortable. He asked for a sex-change operation, then chuckled ‘because he heard women live longer than men’. He could see that she was feeling really sad and was able to cheer her up! We had a huge party for my dad, because he loved parties.
The the night he died, he sent everyone home but asked me to stay behind. He told me to take his little blue suitcase home with me, in the morning. I got him comfy as could be, pulled up a chair, and put my head into the crook of his arm. The nurse came in and woke me up a few hours later. My dad had died.
The little blue suitcase was heavy but did not care to open it until later that day when alone.
My dad’s humor lived on into death. In the the suitcase was dad’s watch (it had stopped) and also, it was FULL of jelly beans (my favorite candy). I smiled and said ‘thank you’, then cried for two days.
I am not afraid of death. But love living, still have things to do, see, and experience!!!!!!!!
Lots of Love to All, Jane : ) xo
I nearly died many years ago and at the time I instinctively knew I was dying but I wasn’t worried, I don’t believe in panicking because it doesn’t help anything. Anyway, I think the doctors believed that I was depressed and that was the reason I didn’t react – but it wasn’t that at all. Even my mother started to question me about it.
BUT!! I have to say that I am very fearful of any of my loved ones dying.
Actually, my thoughts then were that it is up to God whether I stick around or whether I move on. I think my belief that the spirit lives on is what makes me not worry so much about death.
What did Jesus say? To conquer death, you only have to die.
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Great article, but above all great doctor, he look at Thomas as a “human” and not as a “case”. He also shows respect for Thomas way of being and is ready to help him as much as he can within his area of expertise. He recognize Thomas fear to die and does not take advantage of it by recommending him unnecessary treatments.
loveNlight
Gabi
This is one side of the coin. Myself I go to doctor only if I cant stand the pain, and it was the case now. And I should go, for my situation was serious. I was thinking what the use of such big pains. But than I remembered that if I could stand the pain, I never go to doctor. In the tv we see each day people dying from wrong diagnosises or cures. More, one need lot of money for checkings and medicines.
I was thinking that going on foot in rain, with umbrella was sparing money. Because I got my feet wet, I got a serious illness, need cure, stay in bed, feel big big pains. I spent much more money on medicines and doctor than if I had bought several pairs of luxury shoes,and the irony now for moving I use taxi, for I have such pains that cant walk.
I know too many x-rays are dangerous. For my case again, I had back problems, terrible pains, think because once I was falling on the stairs. But doctor do not sent me to ray, for I have no kids, and if I did I could have lost the possibility to ever have.
So I did a treatment more or less on guessing.
About the fear of dead, think majority have, we dont know what expect us there. I have read that a person could not sleep might be suffering by such fear, because falling asleep is a bit like dying, we lost control, and such people are afraid not to wake up anymore.
What to say?
I think human body is so sensitive, we can take care , but little thing might harm us easily.
Wish everybody a happy healthy life
Love
Alexandra
I do also know a person who is going to the doctor almost weekly. She has got several operations, treatments….and nothing heals her. This is already going on for more then 10 to 15 years.
I wonder why the doctors continue to treat her, yes it’s their duty to help, but how does someone help an illusion?
Death comes to meet her when there is nothing left of her and all this because she believes she is fatally ill?
First I tried to help her…then I realised that she had to listen to her heart before there can be any healing.
I may not point my finger to her, neither to the doctors or her environment…the only thing that I do now is giving her love.
With love
Hildegarde
xxx
Dear Paulo, thanks for article.
It’s great you support Thomas. I admire his aspiration to live, his courage and will power. This is so amazing.
It has this undertone of fiction in writing. Loved the way different patterns of human behavior and views that have been highlighted.
Quizás los estudios del Dr. Hamer le podrían ayudar.
http://www.webislam.com/?idv=415
Dear Paulo,
interesting argument. Thanatophobia, being afraid of death, thinking that the pain at the chest is an infarct, they are all part of my life and I’m only 25. Sometimes, it happened to be so afraid about death that I found myself thinking about suicide, but all the times I had this thought it went away as the sand of the desert blew by the wind. Leaves behind only the grainy taste into your mouth. I love life and this is the reason why I’m afraid of death. I wonder: if I could live for ever would it be so bad? Would I take a pill which gives me eternal life?
Irina
Even though such things are not rares they still exist, and death of course is something who touches us all. We all are going to die, but our faith, the way we feel or think makes us fear more or less death.
I m sorry for your friend, mostly for what he is going through. It is clear that he has had a difficult life. There is no joy in keep checking and worrying all the time about health. Nor especially now, with cancer in lungs. Being conscious every day of your life that that it is one day less in your life, that your times here are ending and that who knows were you are going to terminate your voyage, it is horrible.
I usually keep joking and tell my friends that I don’t have a long life, even though I believe that, just because I know that it doesn’t matter how long I live but how I live, but anyway life time changes a lot from death.
We are so lucky on not knowing the days we have left. Can you imagine…Just keep counting the days we have left, and the closer we go the less we want to live. That man need your help more than anything on earth, and he is lucky to have it.
If you have never experienced something like this one, well I think life will bring something new to you Paulo.
I think that you have decided well in not judging him. Help him in each important step of him as if you were a parent to him. As if he needs your wise advices, and even your reproaches if you’ll feel it to. Never judge him. I don’t know why God chooses to make some people to be aware of the ending of their journey in Earth, but it is so difficult for them.
Those seem the days when all what we know, feel or believe, are putted in hard testing, and sometimes it feels like failing.
Maybe You don’t need at all, all what I wrote here, but I just felt I had to write down all what I just sad.
I believe that you are going to be a very big help to him Paulo. Your wisdom and kindness shall help him make it through.
Love
Olta
“Присно,вчера и ныне/по склону движемся мы./Смерть-это только равнины./Жизнь-холмы,холмы.”(Бродский)
Jesus! Really hypocondriac!
When I say to people I’m not afraid of death, they usually don’t trust my word. Though it is true. I’m afraid about diseases, but more, I’m afraid to see people close to death. I refuse to. I don’t know why really.
I remember when I was a little girl, it was terrific for me to hear the beats of my heart before sleeping in the dark. I tried hard to find a position not to hear them anymore. But as the fear was increasing, the beats were filling then all the room: I was afraid it could stop. So frightened…
Then growing up, I was sometimes discovering things or attitude of my body, I never did before, and so it was a way to scare myself again. Now I’m smiling about.
In those times, I had horrible nightmares where people wanted my death, without I could explain the scenes, nor recognize the personnages of, once awakened. I just got up and ran in my house, and then, if I met my parents, I was totally enable to explain what happened.
It lasted a long time, and then it disappeared.
Then I saw my grandfather that was on his bed, ill by cancer. I don’t know if I decided to, but maybe I wanted to see him before he died. I can’t remember exactly. I was a teenager. The seeing was a trauma for me.
I never liked medicine. I couldn’t swallow a pill, even a little one. I remember my grandmother had to make it in powder for I could take it. Until today, I dislike it, and never take some. Unless when I have awful ache, due to my menses.
I stopped going to the doctors’s, when a jab nearly killed my son. Though before that, I tried as much as possible not to visit them. That way, they couldn’t find me ill, and give me chemical medicine, I thought no good for my body.
Death is not a problem for me, or I prefer not to think about it, (?) regarding to what I study. Because indeed, I know I’m not prepare to cross the lake… And now it’s about life…
However, I tell to myself the heart stops and that’s it. It happens in one second. Why should I be afraid of?!
I don’t know when I overtook that fear, but I had to. It was not beareable for my soul, I think.
My fear’s based on the promiscuity of death towards illnesses: merely when the person is one foot in life, and the other into death already.
That’s why I haven’t see my father for maybe 5 years. Just because some years ago, one of my brother told me my dad was nearly dying. I can’t see him that way. And I don’t try to change that state of mind. Also because my father was not so present in my life before.
I know he will be very happy to see me, but I can’t. And I hate psychiatrist’s hospitals.
Plus, I know now, from some french doctors I read or met, outside of a consultation, that we could cure all this diseases, and so for a very long time. That’s why I could me really apalled against my father’s doctors.
In my dream, I’d like to kidnap him, and bring him to Mexico, where he dreamt to go before the white coats arrived, to inject him horse’s remedies…
Someone told me the day before yesterday, that it was too hard for me to admit I couldn’t cure my dad, or all the persons that are ill around me. Maybe the reason why I left all my family, also. To go away before they do.
I should try to act differently. I mean, isn’t it a coward behaviour? Surely.
Thank you Paulo to permit me to write this. <3
With love.
Thank you for reminding of the miracle of hope, dearest Paulo.
In my recent immersions in the worlds of Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer & Mary Williamson (mostly through youtube and library books) I’ve found they too are fascinated by the number of cases of people who heal from cancer diagnosis that are not mediatized. (I won’t get into the media aspect of the discussion, it is not the topic now). But some of the bits I collected that remained with me are:
- there are tens of people who after being diagnosed managed to fight and win against the disease. Very little research shows some of the common aspects they have: fighting the doctor verdict, developing a belief it can be beaten and fighting to surround themselves with proves of successes or similar beliefs, a strong network of faith, hope and love.
- doctors admit when dealing with life threatening issues they give a worse diagnosis than the reality. some fear being sues for wrong diagnosis if the patient does not take ‘the treatment’ and implications seriously, some just want to make sure the patient is shocked enough to embrace the solutions provided. The paradox is that these people passionate about healing people and saving lives may create self-fulfilling prophecies of death.
- most recent studies in genetics show the body cells regenerate completely within the cycle of a year. the rate of regeneration decreases with age, but the cell life-span remains the same. Which means if you have a tumor in your body for more than a year, your body re-generated that tumor. this also means your body can maybe generate something else instead of cancerous cells, for example. How the mind, fighting a diagnose, love and hope lay a role into this, we’re still touching the tip of the mystery.
(the same studies show we as humans have around 60,000 thoughts a day!. shockingly, 90% are repetitive thoughts of the day before or what we picked up from society/family around us). They’re still working on correlations between all these findings.
I like the doctor’s humanity. I also like Thomas’ fight. It could be after all, the fight of any one of us. Don’t give up Thomas, believe in your miracles!
Embracing all with love,
Anca
I like this post to. It is his hobby maybe? He is a connesuir of the body temple. I love this line at th end of the post abotu the fear of death.
“There is no pill for it. “
Very interesting read, thank you for sharing it!
Well I have visited quite few doctors though this has been more to do with me living and moving around.
Dr, Heinz was yes, full of beans about his theories.
Dr “Death” was NOT my grandma’s favourite.
Dr Leg knew more on the subject.
and now i’m thinking of going to see Dr Th-ake
;o)
Ithake/a! :D
“We tend to medicalise every little symptom and discomfort”… we tend to put labels to generalize.
But yes, there is no pills for being a human. Being a human is being a human–it can never be generalized :)
Thanks for the sharing–love this post :)
First, second opinion is enough. Then, the events matched with doctor shopping. Then, he entered into a dilemma.
Kuala Lumpur! my country :)
“its about being human, theres no pill for it” nuff said.
Thanks for sharing Mr. Cohelo. If there is something that is absolutely true is death. Human fear to death is natural but injustified if we just focus in living with love and wholeness whenever death comes it’s just the right time.
Dear Paulo and all Warriors of Light,
I feel like I should share something personal with you because this fear of death is such a tabu and it won’t get better if we don’t talk about it. Maybe the fact that we don’t like talking about it makes the fear just worse. So I’m glad Paulo inspires us to talk about topics we usually try to avoid.
So here is my story (summarized shortly):
Today is the 30th anniversary of my mum’s death. She died when I was almost one year old. She died of cancer when she was only a little older than I am now. Deep inside of me I am scared of my 30ies because I fear that I die the same age as my mum did although it is of course not very realistic. I tend to be hypochondriac and I don’t see it as an illness but as a normal result of circumstances. No medicine can help here but the strengths of my own thoughts. A very special person in my life once told me something that helped me lose a great amount of my fear of dying the same age as my mum. This person told me that I was actually very lucky to be alive!! Because my mum died only 11 months after my birth!!!! It was a great luck that I got the chance to arrive in this world in time!!! And as a Warrior of Light we know that this wasn’t luck or coincidence :) I was meant to be born and meant to live and I’m going to live as long as I am meant to live and I am meant to live this life fully and that is all that I and all people who fear death should be doing. I think if we live our lives fully we will get less frightened of death.
So, shall we not just all try and do this? :)
Love,
Barbara
B – your conclusion made me smile ;o)
Hi Catherine,
I’m really glad it did :)
Thank you for sharing that article. I am aware that there are too much “etiquettes”, that each year new troubles are “identified” with symptoms that direct to a treatment (medical treatment). I fought many years for me and my kid at school. So easy to say this kid has a trouble of attention, a trouble of anxiety, a trouble of this and that, and they try to find and put an etiquette so to bring the child to take a medication, and the goal is only to facilitate the work. Loved to see that that doctor has at hearth to help that patient with all that he can for this cancer, that he will try to help him not to fall into all unnecessary procedures and that he will not judge … that would be so great to see the same in the school vision and way of dealing with children who, has any other persons. There are no pill for the fear of death, and I truly believe that that fear is very present in many “troubles” encountered. So, I make the link that when we go on the path of discovering who we truly are, we become aware of the beauty of who we are, not exterior but interior. During that voyage, it brought me back to face the dark sides of myself, and also the fears, and the fear of death was there. When passed that part, when walking that part, reunification, incarnation of who we truly are, and then able to live and develop a security in death, an acceptance of that stage that is part of a soul’s journey. It is so easy to say rationally things but deep inside, the truth lies and that truth will surface one day or the other … Cordially, Jojo.
WE??! You colonizer you.
http://www.dyalog.de/pdf/TruthStarts.pdf
I am tired off reading a thousand opinions. I willl go for a walk now, in five minutes. It´s a wonderbeautiful day and my eyes and ears yearn for something else. Then I will do my other daily meaningful practices. Allone.
..to walk is good..want to say sorry,
I myself am the colonizer at times..
Thank you so much!!!!
This was one of the best text I have read in very long time!!!
LOVE YOU SO MUCH GRANDMA
LOVE TINA
Everyone is unique.. doctors should be reminded of this.. they should deal human, not like a label, but humanely, understanding his pain and his fears.. otherwise if there is not trust between them, how can the healing take place?
I must admit, I am one of those that for quite some time I was fearing that I was dying..was very melancholic, to the point that many people have labeled me like this, and they still put me this label till now (‘Oh, Annie with your melacholic eyes’)
I think it has much to do with the fact that my life was in a complete mess, and there was not balance in me.. could not see the light..
it’s like the vitriol in ‘Veronica decides to die’.. if she is not shown the light, how can she come towards it?
ANd the truth is , Death is our companion.. forever..and if we have in mind this, then we can stop wasting our lives (pleasing others/ doing things we do not like /telling lies to ourselves), and also we can think that ‘ok, this is not really bad..(if something bad happens to us)..because I am still alive’
Love and Graditude
Annie
And as Woody Allen said:
“It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Death (1975) p. 63.
well..his parents made it to reach 100!! so I suppose he has many years ahead :D
Clever, pointed, and clear words coming from a doctor. However, I do take issue with this portion of the piece… “So many of us, with or without cancer, are not willing to admit to our fear of death. We couch our fears like this: “Doctor, I am not afraid to die but I fear the process of dying.”
I feel exactly that way, say nearly the same thing, when asked, and actually mean it. I welcome passing to the next dimension. I have the peace of knowing there is more beyond this life and await the extended journey. However, I don’t welcome the potential mode of transportation that gets me there; such as, being shot, stabbed, beaten… disease, accident, etc. Who would? So, although there may very well be folks who tote such a statement as an overcoat to fear, there are just as many who bare honest disclosure with the same.
“There is no pill for being human!” thank you for sharing this wonderful true story Paulo… It is certainly more important to give “living” our fullest concentration… death is automatic… a built in “fail safe” among other uses, it assists to preclude the prolongation of the ravages of age… Live & Love, Paul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L8-FTvSVxs
eu acredito que ter medo da morte e normal e mais comum do que se imagina.
as pessoas vão para a igreja com medo de morrer e ir para o inferno e isto e cada vez mais nítido, não e por respeito a sua religião nem nada ,é simplesmente pelo medo de morrer.
agora visitar muitos medicos para tardar a morte , não sei se e o certo,
eu acredito que a vida deve ser vivida com qualidade e não por quantidade. o importante e viver varios dias em companhia agradável e não varios dias com medo da morte se medicamento numa cama do hospital.
Wow.. I didn’t know that such fears/diseases or mental disorders exists. I really hope that Thomas would be ok. No more visits, tests or medicines.
Everyone is afraid of death but he was brave enough to admit that to another person. That is true courage!
Thanks for sharing Paulo! :)
Sai from Singapore.
Find just one doctor who can talk ’straight’ to you, treat you like a human being not a guinea pig, and is willing to allow you, the patient, to be part of the healing along with orthodox medicine.. and you can forget the 999!