I was reading a very interesting article about gossip. Of course, gossip is something very dangerous. But at the same time it is used to locate people in this world. Somehow they can establish comparisons, feel better, and dont feel lost. So I’d like to hear your opinion on gossips.
Thank you,
Paulo
DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH. BUT IF YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE, POST IN YOUR MOTHER TONGUE (PORTUGUES, ESPANOL, FRANÇAIS, ETC.).
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Gossip usually wont help anyone. At the same time, it makes a bad impression, about one person, among others. If someone really wants to point out someone’s mistake, he/she should directly do that. For pass time, you should not assassin others character.
Gossip, of course we all do it.
I found out recently my co-worker talking about my other co-worker and it wasn’t very nice and now the whole place is talking about it.
The girl has been my smoking partner for as long as I have been working there, so we share a lot of things but now I wonder what is she saying behind my back. I limit my self to what I tell her now.
I think if people are talking about other people in a negative way they are just trying to take attention off themselves.
el chisme al pasar de los tiempos no se lo ve como algo malo sino que hasta los canales de television tienen espacios llamados de faràndula dedicados exclusivamente a chismear en muchas ocasiones he visto familias que se rompen padres que se recientesn con sus hijos esposos que se separan , esposas que se creen traicionadas etc. mas no se dan cuenta del daño que causan, estos chismes de mala fe, a cambio hay otros que sirven para hacer famosos a algunos por ahi pero en realidad para mi no deberìa existir personas que vivan solo para chismear deberìan dedicarsen a otra actividad mas constructiva por ejem. deberiàn dedicarsen a escribir fàbulas
Some gossip is harmless. Some is murderous. It just depends on what is said and the additional remarks that get composed along the way. And before you know it, You’re divorced with two kids. It doesn’t matter that you have never been married or had a child … I don’t know many men that gossip, but women I have met take the trophy home. For some it’s fear of the unknown; for others it’s just their favourite chosen pasttime. I can barely stomach it anymore after having to listen to the women outside my office at their little lunch table talk endlessly about others. I don’t work there anymore, I am glad to report. I would rather read a good book or go for a walk. I’m tired of incivility amongst human beings.
I am also very interested in this issue. I grew up in a big family and learned how unjust and painful it can be.
However I wish that people would investigate their more animal natures. There seems to be something very instinctual about gossip. All humans do it…including men. Small babies just a few weeks old turn to see how people around them react to what they say and do. When parents smile with approval, the babies learn to do it more. When children are neglected and ignored too often they don’t know how to fit in socially in the world. The need for social approval seems innate….maybe because human beings would die if not for human interaction…a baby is born needing someone to feed and care for it.
Like other animals, we react when someone strange comes into our midst. Look at how dogs react when another dog enters the room….or a cat. We do the same thing, instantly judging if we are safe or if the person is familiar.
I feel these human animal instincts contribute to our need for gossip. It helps us know what our boundaries are and what is safe and acceptable when we interact with other humans.
I just wish people were more conscious of their motivations and tried to understand why they do what they do to and with other people. Otherwise how will we evolve.
I have lived all around the world and seen up close how deadly and destructive human gossip can be. A man will kill his own daughter…a mother will shun her own son or sister.
Thank you for asking these very important questions and for giving us a chance to share our point of view. Gossip is not “bad” and not done only by “women”….it just is human nature.
Malicious gossip is just something people do when they don’t have anything better to do in their lives. They’re bored so they create fake stories, trouble for other people as a distraction for themselves. The worse is, some persons believe them because they think it doesn’t make sense to invent such things. Gossip is Truth’s, Love’s, Happiness’, Respect’s worst enemy. The harm done because of gossip can never be healed, when trust between two persons is weakened the consequences last forever.
PS: nice comment from well-known-stranger, an image every people who lost trust in someone because of gossip should have
PPS: very nice blog, parabens!
gossips are heresays or real words that come out from every person involving in a group of talking creatures. there are some offending grounds that would hit the subject person so badly and unacceptable. there are some that are true words that would still continue to spread without a stop. but there is one important lesson you will find in this “GOSSIPING ISSUE”. it is to face the person who started it all or ignoring it all. it is a real caution to everyone to be civilized and be more quiet to refrain from being talked about by anyone else. act as one real person in your own right. do what is good. feel what is suppose to be. fight in an equally fair manner. just be who you are.
gossip is some kinda wierd addiction, like cigerettes, alcohol o anything els of that sort, ppl (p.s including me) are aware of its concequenses but still theres some kind of attraction tat pulls us towards it…it does hamper relationship…but then again its very entertaining no matter how much ever we try avoidin, it somehw finds a way back in our minds…mayb tats hw our willpower is being tested.its a major distraction for most of us from realising ourselves or knowing ourselves…esp when its abu ppl we wouldn like very much o secreatly envy abu…then it can prove to be a major ego booster tou it totally prevents us from realisin our true potential and being honest with ouselves…it creates false image…it somehw manages to create sense of superiority in us wen it comes to certain matter…most o us wouldn agree on this one but its true…well, a pre occupied mind without any insecurities definetely wouldn be bothered by gossip of any sort but sometimes certain scandals are jus too tempting to avoid for anyone…we r human after all ;-)
Gossip,
The rust of the steel,
The object of desire of many,
The disease of society.
For most of us we do not realize as we socialize, just to bring up a topic or just to have a bond with another person, we must know about the common thing that we knew of, so that is when the gossip takes place, filling that blanks to make a common goal. To be close to the other. It is very dangerous, for most of the times many people exaggerated the idea about a person and find faults in them. Give positive feedback and then creates self-egotism. We are blinded by these sins, but still we let ourselves be sinned by this dreadful way. Everyone is a victim. We fell prey to the hidden agenda of this disease. It destroys us. We must stop gossiping. In facebook alone, statuses were made in their walls sent to anonymous because they wanted to send gossips. It creates self pity, creates trouble, destroys relationships, destroys love.. I SAY NO TO GOSSIPING. Thanks Mr. Cuelho.
I think the danger lies on the content of the story being shared with another person and how it was spoken. If it is maliciously motivated and spread maliciously, then it is harming. So, it still boils down on what was or is the purpose or motive of the gossip – to inform about the truth, to locate or mislabel someone? Maybe sometimes, it is fine to hear, but, better not to judge right away till proven otherwise.
I agree.
A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man of which she hardly knew.
That nite she had a dream..
A great hand appeared over her and pointed down at her,
she was immediately overwhelmed by sense of guilt.
The next day,she went to a confession and told everything,
“Is gossiping a sin?Is that a hand of God Almighty pointing finger at me?
should I ask for forgiveness?Has i done something wrong?”, the woman worried.
“Yes.yes.yes”, the Father answered.
The woman said she really sorry and asked for forgiveness.
“Not so fast. Go back to your home and take a pillow upon your roof.
Cut it open with a knife and return here to me”, replied the Father.
So the women went home, take the pillow off bed, a knife from the drawer,
went up the fire escape to the roof and stabbed the pillow.
She get bact to the priest as he instructed.
“Did you got the pillow with the knife?”, he asked.
“Yes, Father”, replied the woman.
“And what was the result?”, asked him.
“Feathers”she said
“Feathers?”, he repeated.
“Feathers everywhere”, she told.
“Now, I want you to back and gather up every last feather flew by the wind.”,
the Father told.
“Well, it cant be done. I dunno where they went. The wind took them all over”.
said the woman.
and the Father replied
“That is gossip”.
Great story everybody should read !
I wish this story could be told in schools at every level repeatedly. Thanks.
Ouch.. Bull’s eye. I’m guilty. But, that was a really nice story.
I do gossip. Usually about impropriety. I dunno, maybe I’m so self-righteous that whenever I hear somebody is like this or like that, I’ll feel terrible and can’t stop my big mouth in telling someone who knows the other person about it. It could also be due to my tactlessness that sometimes, I forget that something was supposed to be a secret and I’ll slip and spill everything. I may sound justifying it but after I said it, I feel bad. That I’m a bad person. That I should change and all. Now, I’m trying to change. I’m putting conscious effort to it because I learned my lesson. I really should because there were relationships that matter to me that could have been gone the drain because of my big-mouth. Good thing I was able to keep my friends. Good luck to me on being nice and not nosy. :)
Kada ti neko nanosi bol,ili uliva strah,svojim nehumanim odnosom,kada ti je pomoc potrebna ili neophodna ,kada se ne osecas bezbedno,spletkari ,to jest podmece vam razne neprijatne situacije ,koristeci druge ljude u tu svrhu,podmetne vam nogu ,pa se nakon toga smeje ,pokazuje prstom na vas ,a zatim danima ili godinama govori svakome ko vas imalo poznaje o tome podsmevajuci se ,da bih bio interesantan i dominantniji od vas ili samog sebe ,pokusava da vas posvadja i iskrivi sliku o vama celom svetu,ili ako vidi u vama neku potencijalnu konkurenciju i suprotnost u stavovima,ako vas ne drzi u saci jer i sami nemate pogan jezik il;i prosto izbegavate da ga koristite jer bi vas prepucavanje sa takvom osobom bolelo ,jer biste se osecali kao da se pretvarate u tu i takvu osobu a srce vam ne dopusta,ako je ta osoba ljubomorna na vas jer zracite nekom unutrasnjom svetloscu ,da ne kazem lepotom ,a i ne mislim da je to lepota,to je prostoskup materija dobra ,od strane Boga,pa se zbog toga plasi da ne izgubi svoju materijalnu ili bilo koju sigurnost koja je odrzava u zivotu,a pritom zbog vaspitanja i okruzenja podsvesno ima ugradjen sistem u glavi da je ceo zivot takmicenje sa drugima,ali se odredjenim ljudima o kojima potpunim strancima govori ,kako mrzi njihovu decu i kako ce im njihovo dete upropastiti njeno jer je tracara,a zatim ih poziva da joj budu kumovi na krstenju deteta,licemerno i podmuklo ,pronalazi situacije i ceka prilike da nekog uvredi i omalovazi……i nemogu vise pisati o ovoj osobi jer mi crpi svu energiju i pozitivne misli,a nemogu ni da pobegnem od toga ,kao sto vec neko ovde reci ,kada se neke reci izgovore i rasire one ostaju takve kakve jesu i nemozes ih obrisati,ma kolike lazi bile ,a tesko je pravdati se celom svetu ,jer bi vam za to bio potrban celi zivot ,koji bi verovatno kratko trajao kada biste se odlucili na takav korak.osoba o kojoj sam pisala zivi u mojoj neposrednoj blizini i utisci su mi od skorasnje spletke koja joj omogucava najnoviji smesni doduse trac,zato sam se i odlucila na ovakav korak i iznela neku7 svoju viziju te osobe,koja je podstaknuta de facto,cinjenicama,i zelim da zaustavim sve to jer isuvise sam stvari istolerisala u zivotu,ovaj put sudskim putem.Najteze mi pada to sto je i taj sudski put jos jedan u nizu povoda za tracarenje,ali nadam se i poslednji.dusevni i moralni bol ce se nadam se racunati,netreba mi novac ,samo da napokon prestane sa tim sto radi.
Gossip has a negative connotation. But I don”t believe that talking about someone in a positive way to be bad. It’s gossip, yes. but it can be uplifting, especially if a bird passes by, hears it, and carries the message to the person. :)
To me (malicious) gossip – is just another form of ‘bullying’ when it is judgemental, opinionated or harmful to another…It is the ‘maintsay’ of ‘playground politics’ –
It can be very destructive to another’s personal or professional integrity – and creat a ‘halo’ affect where others (afraid of not agreeing with the original gossip) go along with it – then the ‘Chinese whispers’ get out of control…Just like the small fish swim under the belly or behind the shark so as not to be eaten…so it goes on…
To a sensitive soul…who may be ‘hypervigilant’ or extremely sensitive…the thoughts, words or behaviours of another or group of others can play havoc with the soul, mind and heart…People can be seriously damaged by gossip – a hurtful glance alone can be enough to destroy someone’s ability to be stable within themselves and thrive…
The Native American saying ‘Never criticize another until you have walked a mile in his/her mocassins’ gives me food for thought each day…
‘I wish you no harm’…is what the person who chooses to not engage with gossip is saying…in this lies the heart of compassion…
We all need to be loved rather than judged; be ‘included’ rather than ‘excluded’; cherished rather betrayed; understood and valued rather than maligned…
So – please – the next time someone challenges or hurts you with their behaviours, words or actions – take a big breath think about what you need to do – and when the time is right try to communicate with them on a transparent level…Rather than gossiping about them or about what has happened…this goes nowhere…and is counter-productive to healthy co-operation and growth…When discussing issues with them (if this can be arranged in a quiet, agreed space or moment)stick to using ‘I’ and talking about your own feelings rather than their behaviours or pointing the finger or anger or retribution…in this way they areless likely to react as you are being fully ‘congruent’and so there is more opportunity for mutual growth and understanding…What have you got to lose apart from rejection from someone you can choose to move away from anyway to protect yourself…You can do this even in a small room if you learn how to ‘detach’ from the others misalignment of the heart…and still feel the love and compassion for and within yourself…it goes out to them either way as energy transference moves invisibly…
Most of suffer from low self esteem…so we hold back from explaining our feeling and hurts to others when we see them as the adversory…In this we deny ourselves…We are, first and foremost…creatures of the heart and our emotions and feelings are ‘who we are’…If someone chooses to reject us for being ‘heartful’ that is their issue not yours…be proud of yourself and your feelings…They are your litmus for intuition and for your life and what is important to you…and to others who are searching their own search for others who are strong enough to reveal their heart…
If they won’t respond then maybe for some reason it’s too much for them…too painful…not the right time…or perhaps they actually don’t care how you feel (usually because they don’t feel right about themselves!!)…
You can then make 1 of 3 choices (See the ‘Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle) – you can choose to…
* Leave it alone for now and just get on with things…
* Try to talk to them another more appropriate time…
* Move on…
At the end of the day you can never take responsibility for another persons behaviours…Only for your own…
There are many reasons for how another is feeling or behaving and gossip is an unhelpful strategy for those who need to work with personal growth and development…
See it for what it is…and don’t let your ego or low self esteem allow you to respond to gossip as having energy of its own…Use your own energy to take responsiblity for how you deal with it in a positive way or get out of the situation if that is appropriate or possible…Use coping strategies in the meantime, viz…
‘Discharge’ the upset by writing a letter and destroying or keeping it till later; see a counsellor or someone who can support you; have a good old chat with someone you trust to take it no further to get it off your chest…don’t carry it round with you like a bag of bricks on your back…
It’s not about you…it’s about the other/s…
Gossips have a heavy load to carry – that bag full of stones which they need to take everywhere with them to shatter the panes of glass of another’s ‘safe place’ or home is laden with ‘karmic’ debt…
Each and every though, word, deed or action we manifest impacts on our psychic self…so be at peace with yourself, take a deep cleansing breath and ask yourself…
Where am I coming from…
And love yourself and others…
That love will come back to you a thousand fold…
As for gossips…They need more love than the rest of us…
I send my love now to all the gossips in the world…whilst they heal and find it within themselves…
Here’s to a world free of gossip; open and transparent communication and co-operation; and more of us finding the strength within ourselves to ‘speak from the heart’…
Loving you…
Marguerite xx
Very well put!
I am living in this pain now…what you, very beautiful and clear, have put in words, all can be put on what I´ve have gone, …and still am, working on to get through…Thank you !<3
With Love..
Susanna
A grand slam with bases loaded in an extra inning game,Marguerite…
Very well said. Thanks for sharing.
There is a very famous and apt saying that goes something like this…”The most powerful thing in the Universe is…GOSSIP”
If anyone can control his/her tongue,it proves that he/she has perfect control over him/herself in every other way.
_ James 3:2
Hola a todos! bueno e tenido muchas malas experiencias por culpa de gente que habla por hablar o de más… Creo ke si uno sabe algo de otra persona debe de callarlo… mi madre siempre me dice: “Antes de decir algo tómate 5 minutos para pensar cuales serán las consecuencias de ke otros lo sepan”
saludos
It’s hard to believe how a man can hike the world with a bag pack as a mute.This was the sacrifice he made to himself for nine years,after losing someone very dear to him…Unbelievable!
I had an aunt called Linda, she was an amazing person, very direct, alive and sometimes extravagant, so a lot of people, included the whole family, gossiped about her.
She used to say this “talk trash, but talk about me”. She never seemed to care what ever people told about her. As long as they talked… She was just to great for the most to understand her. She was a women ahead her time and a beautiful soul she had!
The world is exposed to the energy of pointless babble in hundreds of different languages, when the real language of the words are feelings. Gossip or not, we are all trying to express the true language of feelings through words, but the beauty of feelings can hardly be conveyed at all. The races of the world have been fighting one another for centuries, fighting to be understood, fighting to have their feelings acknowledged. Where feelings are not communicated, there is frustration and fear, which leads to conflict. So,we´d better shut up until we evolve beyond words…
There is a fine ilne between gossip and saying. I come from what’s called the largest village in Norway, due to what most people consider gossiping. But if one actually start to listen to the socalled gossip, it isn’t gossip, it is simply old fashioned saying going on. You know; there is Peter, who is married to Anne, whose cousin who had a baby two months ago, works with your brother, and he is recently made redundant; do you know if your company needs people? It is sharing information, the way it was done before the internet and sms, and it is very rarely maliscious.
Another interesting thing about gossip, is that when drawn into it, it is hard to stop. I have been there, felt constantly guilty, waited for the gossip to reach who te gossiping was about. I finally sought the person up, told the story and appologized. Strangely, it never reached her, which is peculiar in a town lik ours!
I have had a sad experience just this past week because of gossip…I had a friend,a female friend,and even if I’m the first person who makes no difference between women and men,in the case of friendship I trust this sentence: “women are not capable to be friends, they know just love”( Nietzche).one evening I was with a friend of mine and the boy I’m seeing now…we went to see her and when she saw my boyfriend for the first time she had no word,for all the evening she was cold and she asked me nothing…the day after I asked her why she was so strange and she exploded…a big,coloured explosion…she said that I said bad things about her,that I was an hypocrite,that she wasn’t jealous of me and that she didn’t expected that kind of behaviour from me…I said “what have I said?To whom?and above all: whay do you thing I said those things?You didn’t asked me if it’s true…!” she said that I knew and continued to say that she couldn’t believe I said those things…I said that it seemed to me such an excuse because I never talk bad of her,even because I never talked about her with noone!It’s about a month I don’t see her and her friends!!!so the point is: maybe somebody sewed a story about how much I hate this friend and how much I thing she’s jealous…but if we suppose that somebody invented this story…why does she believe in it a priori! So “gossip”(a very false one) destroyed a friendship (and in this case not a true one).
In my opinion, gossip usually has a very negative effect on people. Most of the time when people gossip, it is because they don’t have the strength to look that person or people in the face and just voice how they are feeling.. Gossip is like a contagious disease. It spreads very quickly and once it has started, it is very hard to stop it. Words are extremely hurtful and cannot be taken back once they are spoken. However, we are all guilty at some point of participating in or listenin to gossip. Maybe if we all took the initiative to speak the words we are gossiping about and say them to the individual at hand, a whole lot LESS gossiping would be taking place. A great this to remember is this: “There are four things that cannot be taken back, the time after it is lost, the occasion after it is missed, the stone after it is thrown, and the words after they are spoken.” God Bless each and everyone of us and help us to be a bit more humble.
Too many people spend time gossiping about each other and not enough time working on themselves.
Gossips are people who are very ‘business-minded’..lol … They are very busy minding other people’s business … they may be a alive but they need to get a life…
Interesting opinion, as I find gossips are very, very social people. Some of the biggest gossipers I know, for instance are two Hispanic ladies with a bunch of children, who in fact do not much more than gossip all day at work. Their social need is so huge, they have to sit around and get confirmation of how much they like each other, that they don’t get much else done. Giggles.
I think even NEWS in any form is gossip. The whole Media is gossip.
You want to know what’s going on in your country or other countries.
You wanna know about artists, actors/actreses who is with who what is the next film or song, how good was the best seller book, Oscar nominees and ……. It looks that gossip is a kind of communication these days.
That is a good one.;)
… no we’re not
(and how would you know anyway?)
People comprehend gossip as illustration someone with a bad manner… but in fact, gossip is even if you talk about someone positively.
In general, gossip is a sin, whether it is positive or negative opinion, it is however gossip.
Why people do care about spreading gossips… in my opinion, that people like to judge anyone but him… this is the way to satisfy his human needs… the needs which distract somehow from reality.
…
a thought…
gossip
the feeling of togetherness of those who don’t participate
Lots of love,
Vicky
Paulo,
Já lí alguns livros seus. Após um tempo, me envolvi com algumas pessoas que se achavam a Intelligentsia daqui da cidade onde eu moro. E com essas pessoas aprendi a criticar e até mesmo censurar seus livros. Porém, viajei um pouco, literalmente; e conheci outros estados no Brasil. Moro no Distrito Federal. E percebi o quão dirente somos, mesmo sendo todos brasileiros. Na literatura fui descobrindo um regionalismo sufocante que acomete a literatura brasileira. Então, cheguei a seguinte conclusão, nessa época não andava mais com a intelligentsia, de que você, sendo bom ou ruim, é talvez o escritor mais universal do Brasil. Sem regionalismos, sem o culto exagerado das culturas regionais. Que no meu ver, impede o Brasil de ser um só país. Um país único.
E acho também que você, junto com seus livros, estão amadurecendo. A magia e força de vontade estão dando lugar à coragem e as circunstâncias. Acredito que, hoje em dia, foi o que eu pude perceber nesse seu último livro, o vencedor estar só, os seus livros estão deixando de ser aqueles livros que as pessoas abrem, lêem algumas linhas, e, ao fecha-lo, o mundo e as pessoas estarão aos seus pés. Como seria bom se fosse tudo assim tão simples e fácil. Porque para mim, não são.
Eu não sei não, mas acho que devo ser a pessoa mais anti-social que já escreveu num blog. Eu não tenho o menor interesse pela vida do próximo, pela vida alheia. O mais bizarro é que sou eu,logo eu, a ” fiel depositária” dos segredos de toda espécie, que as pessoas – mesmo as não íntimas – insistem em me contar! Não sei se inspiro confiança, talvez pelo fato das pessoas sacarem que eu não estou nem ai, não sei! O que sei, é que nunca senti vontade nem curiosidade sobre a vida alheia, logo, não suporto fofocas! Tenho pavor quando toca o interfone em casa, suo frio, tenho palpitações só de pensar que pode ser uma visita inesperada ou coisa parecida. Já cortei o fio do interfone diversas vezes, mas como sou precavida, deixei as duas pontas dos fios prontas para eu conectar e pedir socorro num caso de infarte, incêndio e coisas afins. Assim é também com o telefone aqui em casa. Quando toca, ninguém atende, ou pelo menos eu, sou a última a fazê-lo. Até o toque do telefone me soa impertinente, invasivo, até agressivo! Claro, tenho celular, mas vive desligado. E juro, quando ligo, meu coração começa a palpitar mais rápido na expectativa de um recado pra eu retornar, de uma mensagem de voz, etc. Eu cheguei a conclusão, que sou o tipo de pessoa que poderia viver nos bosques para sempre! Sem contato visual, ou físico com outras pessoas. Mas sem jamais me abster dos confortos da vida moderna; minha casinha tosca feita de toras de madeira bem entalhadas, além de servirem de moradia aconchegante para mim e meus bichos (gatos, esquilos, e todos os bichos mais auto-suficientes, que não demandam muito trabalho, como cachorros – que amo – mas que são por demais dependentes, teria que ter à minha disposição, Freezer (sim, porque iria apenas uma vez por mês à cidade mais próxima) TV e Internet por satélite. Teria um telefone. Mas ficaria desconectado a maior parte do tempo; só usaria em em casos de emergência. O resto, eu despensaria. Pronto! esta sou eu.
“Fui para os bosques porque pretendia viver deliberadamente, defrontar-me apenas com os fatos essenciais da vida, e ver se podia aprender o que tinha a me ensinar, em vez de descobrir à hora da morte, que não tinha vivido.” (Walden ou a Vida nos Bosques, Henry David Thoreau)
(desculpe se me desviei um pouco do tema principal, mas era preciso explicar sob que contexto a fofoca não faz parte da minha vida.
.. you know… Gossip Girl..
i just don’t rise to it these days…
too much the same ole wheel going over the same old stuff. It’s boring, dull. I’m more than that now.
usted es tan bella
I don’t agree with you in this one Dear Paulo. Gossip can be entertaining to the audience, yet not to the individual being gossiped about – it is the smoke and the fire combined which burns and suffocates the individuals. Don’t get me wrong, I did participate in it at some point but when I got affected by it – I realized its cruelty and wrath. There are other modes of entertainment, one should be involved with.
Gossip is natural. Gossip in and of itself is not harmful or helpful and is a transfer of information or news about people. However, it is the human factor , the bias that we add to the actual news that can be harmful. We use gossip as a way of reflecting on ourselves by comparing others around us. Our own self reflection sometimes determines how we will pass on the gossip; our own jealousy or insecurities may lead us to spread harmful gossip of others while sincere joy in others success will lead us to spread good news of others. “her cancer is gone!” We like to be the messengers. Messengers bring a gift. The gift is not good or bad if it is true but it is in the delivery and the receiving of the gift where gossip gets a bad name.
Namaste,
Gossip works on many different levels. As information, it is simply that. Jane Austen called it “news.” She was fond of writing gossips. :-) Gossip as a more sinister level, however, which is judgment. Most of our news stations have taken Jane Austen’s ideal and turned their attention away from information and toward opinion. Murdoch’s news especially. Thus, in America, we have 3 24hour gossip channels instead of investigative journalism. I am not a fan of gossip, so I watch BBC America. :-)
To me, gossip is like that game many of us played as children where we whisper a “secret” in someone’s ear and they whisper it into another’s ear, etc. until the final person in the chain speaks aloud what we hear. Even when gossip is accurate, it is combined with judgment about another’s behavior which I fight against. To me, we were given judgment to guide ourselves, not others. We can look at another as a life lesson which we don’t want to reflect in our behavior, but gossip is usually distorted and a relating of information out of context. I guess as a society, it can reflect its morals, but even there, morality is relative to the human condition. I see very little about gossip to admire.
Love to you
That was a great note.
Gossip has always been and will always be.It´s in our genes,it´s built in and humanity would not be here today if it was truly harmful.We always compare ourselves to others,we are made this way.We check others,how do they do things,would I do it the same way or not.You can put it on every level of life,whether it´s fashion,looks,behaviour,politics,you name it…
There was a wonderful german actor,Curd Jürgens,whom I admire very much.He once said “I do not care what the papers write about me,as long as they spell my name correctly!”
Maybe this is the best way to deal with it,because you will never stop it…
I wonder if people will no longer be mad at me if I never gossip again or go to a place where people gossip.
I think gossip is what people did all along since thousand of years.
They tell others what others did or do,
however today due to modern communication media,
due to globalisation effects,
it increases annually into another dimension.
It takes capacity of the mind of everybody.
People are more interested in what others do
as what they would like to do as the world seems to be so hopeless at all.
I am scared about the world. Why?
Oil and gas resources are going to be consumed for the
demand of cars, products and other things which are not essential. Okay they are helpful I agree but not in this dimension.
People only care about themselves.
Human mankind should use all these resources to secure themselves,
to invest in technology, to save the rain forest, to keep animal species alive, to learn from nature. Nature keeps the secret of everything, nature has the key. The day will come when mother earth will be faced with ruin…
Imagine what would happen when a comet will be impacting on this planet in 50 hours. Scientist have overlooked it… Would we have the technology to defend this force majeur?
All seem to be so irrelevant under consideration of such a scenario.
The world needs a new philosophy. The world should combine forces.
Anyhow people usually ignore everything beyond their understanding.
Unfortunately. But I can tell you, Yes we can !
What has all this to do with gossip? Gossip leads to miss the point to not capture the essence…
Dear Yassin,
thank you for sharing your idea.
i was attracted to your comment because you mentioned of the environment issue. and i totally agree with you. but let me understand more clearly. you are saying gossip is not productive so it is not helping any good to improve our current life or next generations’, right? and not only being helpless, it seems like it is making some groups more separate from each other when we need to be more cooperated in order to do something dynamic.
personally, i am more scared of the issue than the financial one. so i am making some effort but…i have to admit that it looks like an unavoidable…
well, but i do think gossiping has a power to spread the words so i hope some smart people would come up with something that can be useful for the environmental issue by using it.
thanks for reading:)
love + blessing
chieko
Reading all these posts, most of them sound extremely alike. Something close to ” Those shallow people, who gossip just to make themselves feel better, have nothing better to do, and oh I never do gossip myself, its just something THEY do”.
My first post, was about how I see gossiping as something fun, as long as its not meant to harm, just asking for news of friends or people you know.
But the majority of the posts obviously don’t agree.
Not that I care, but I find it a bit hypocritical and too self righteous to say that people who gossip are just trying to make themselves feel better, when the people who are comparing themselves to gossipers make it sound like “I am way too good to gossip, I am just better than all these people”.
My main point being, I don’t think that there exists a person who has never ever gossiped, so why claim that you are better than all the rest of us?
Hope I got my point across clearly, and take care people :)
I totally agree with you. Personally, you got your point across clearly and showed me you read between the lines. Your comment is like a gust of fresh air to me. Congratulations.
Stumbled on this today:
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Manual of Warrior of Light n°104 – A Warrior shares with others what he knows of the path
A warrior of light shares with others what he knows of the path.
Anyone who gives help also receives help and needs to teach what he has learned. That is why he sits by the fire and recounts his day on the battlefield.
A friend whispers: ‘Why talk so openly about your strategy? Don’t you realise that, by doing so, you run the risk of sharing your conquests with others?’
The warrior merely smiles and says nothing. He knows that if, at the end of his journey, he arrives to find an empty paradise, his struggle will have been a waste of time.
That is a powerful text you have shared dear Jasmine Starling… thank you – it reminds me of something I failed to remember!
I just want to say ‘HAND BALL!’ since all the papers are talking about it (and I’m Irish!)
May the blessing of light be on you—
light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you
and warm your heart
till it glows like a great peat fire.
Gossip is an act of fear, an act borne by a feeling of self-deficiency. It’s a form of schadenfreude that makes one feel special while running another down. It generally takes a life of its own while relaying an original observance, fact or occurance. It is geared towards malice and there lies the difference between gossip and spreading the news.
If I like a book, I spread the news. If I hate the author, I spread a gossip:-)
El chisme te aleja de lo importante y te lleva a pensar en tonterias que no vienen al caso y no son importantes para tu vida.
Chismear es perder el tiempo pensando en los demas: q hacen, cuando lo hacen, como, que tienen, cuanto tienen, etc… cuando lo importante es que haces tu mismo con los talentos que Dios te dio y con el tiempo que tienes para vivir tu vida.
Por hora odeio Paulo Coelho. Por favor, guarde os livros de auto-ajuda pra vc!
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