Comments on: Gossip

By: Anoop Sasidharan

Anoop Sasidharan — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 11:44:42 +0000

Gossip usually wont help anyone. At the same time, it makes a bad impression, about one person, among others. If someone really wants to point out someone’s mistake, he/she should directly do that. For pass time, you should not assassin others character.

By: barbara

barbara — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:50:56 +0000

Gossip, of course we all do it.

I found out recently my co-worker talking about my other co-worker and it wasn’t very nice and now the whole place is talking about it.
The girl has been my smoking partner for as long as I have been working there, so we share a lot of things but now I wonder what is she saying behind my back. I limit my self to what I tell her now.
I think if people are talking about other people in a negative way they are just trying to take attention off themselves.

By: Jackie noriega

Jackie noriega — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 16:15:00 +0000

el chisme al pasar de los tiempos no se lo ve como algo malo sino que hasta los canales de television tienen espacios llamados de faràndula dedicados exclusivamente a chismear en muchas ocasiones he visto familias que se rompen padres que se recientesn con sus hijos esposos que se separan , esposas que se creen traicionadas etc. mas no se dan cuenta del daño que causan, estos chismes de mala fe, a cambio hay otros que sirven para hacer famosos a algunos por ahi pero en realidad para mi no deberìa existir personas que vivan solo para chismear deberìan dedicarsen a otra actividad mas constructiva por ejem. deberiàn dedicarsen a escribir fàbulas

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 13 May 2011 14:34:26 +0000

I am also very interested in this issue. I grew up in a big family and learned how unjust and painful it can be.

However I wish that people would investigate their more animal natures. There seems to be something very instinctual about gossip. All humans do it…including men. Small babies just a few weeks old turn to see how people around them react to what they say and do. When parents smile with approval, the babies learn to do it more. When children are neglected and ignored too often they don’t know how to fit in socially in the world. The need for social approval seems innate….maybe because human beings would die if not for human interaction…a baby is born needing someone to feed and care for it.

Like other animals, we react when someone strange comes into our midst. Look at how dogs react when another dog enters the room….or a cat. We do the same thing, instantly judging if we are safe or if the person is familiar.

I feel these human animal instincts contribute to our need for gossip. It helps us know what our boundaries are and what is safe and acceptable when we interact with other humans.

I just wish people were more conscious of their motivations and tried to understand why they do what they do to and with other people. Otherwise how will we evolve.

I have lived all around the world and seen up close how deadly and destructive human gossip can be. A man will kill his own daughter…a mother will shun her own son or sister.

Thank you for asking these very important questions and for giving us a chance to share our point of view. Gossip is not “bad” and not done only by “women”….it just is human nature.

By: olive

olive — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 17:02:04 +0000

Ouch.. Bull’s eye. I’m guilty. But, that was a really nice story.
I do gossip. Usually about impropriety. I dunno, maybe I’m so self-righteous that whenever I hear somebody is like this or like that, I’ll feel terrible and can’t stop my big mouth in telling someone who knows the other person about it. It could also be due to my tactlessness that sometimes, I forget that something was supposed to be a secret and I’ll slip and spill everything. I may sound justifying it but after I said it, I feel bad. That I’m a bad person. That I should change and all. Now, I’m trying to change. I’m putting conscious effort to it because I learned my lesson. I really should because there were relationships that matter to me that could have been gone the drain because of my big-mouth. Good thing I was able to keep my friends. Good luck to me on being nice and not nosy. :)

By: dory

dory — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:44:21 +0000

I agree.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 03:49:55 +0000

Some gossip is harmless. Some is murderous. It just depends on what is said and the additional remarks that get composed along the way. And before you know it, You’re divorced with two kids. It doesn’t matter that you have never been married or had a child … I don’t know many men that gossip, but women I have met take the trophy home. For some it’s fear of the unknown; for others it’s just their favourite chosen pasttime. I can barely stomach it anymore after having to listen to the women outside my office at their little lunch table talk endlessly about others. I don’t work there anymore, I am glad to report. I would rather read a good book or go for a walk. I’m tired of incivility amongst human beings.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 03:22:55 +0000

I wish this story could be told in schools at every level repeatedly. Thanks.

By: Magdalena

Magdalena — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 14:29:49 +0000

Great story everybody should read !

By: audrey

audrey — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 14:57:53 +0000

Malicious gossip is just something people do when they don’t have anything better to do in their lives. They’re bored so they create fake stories, trouble for other people as a distraction for themselves. The worse is, some persons believe them because they think it doesn’t make sense to invent such things. Gossip is Truth’s, Love’s, Happiness’, Respect’s worst enemy. The harm done because of gossip can never be healed, when trust between two persons is weakened the consequences last forever.

PS: nice comment from well-known-stranger, an image every people who lost trust in someone because of gossip should have
PPS: very nice blog, parabens!

By: kit

kit — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 21:33:08 +0000

gossips are heresays or real words that come out from every person involving in a group of talking creatures. there are some offending grounds that would hit the subject person so badly and unacceptable. there are some that are true words that would still continue to spread without a stop. but there is one important lesson you will find in this “GOSSIPING ISSUE”. it is to face the person who started it all or ignoring it all. it is a real caution to everyone to be civilized and be more quiet to refrain from being talked about by anyone else. act as one real person in your own right. do what is good. feel what is suppose to be. fight in an equally fair manner. just be who you are.

By: krishi

krishi — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 18:25:54 +0000

gossip is some kinda wierd addiction, like cigerettes, alcohol o anything els of that sort, ppl (p.s including me) are aware of its concequenses but still theres some kind of attraction tat pulls us towards it…it does hamper relationship…but then again its very entertaining no matter how much ever we try avoidin, it somehw finds a way back in our minds…mayb tats hw our willpower is being tested.its a major distraction for most of us from realising ourselves or knowing ourselves…esp when its abu ppl we wouldn like very much o secreatly envy abu…then it can prove to be a major ego booster tou it totally prevents us from realisin our true potential and being honest with ouselves…it creates false image…it somehw manages to create sense of superiority in us wen it comes to certain matter…most o us wouldn agree on this one but its true…well, a pre occupied mind without any insecurities definetely wouldn be bothered by gossip of any sort but sometimes certain scandals are jus too tempting to avoid for anyone…we r human after all ;-)

By: Marie Santos

Marie Santos — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 21:44:27 +0000

That was a great note.

By: Marie Santos

Marie Santos — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 21:42:04 +0000

Very well said. Thanks for sharing.

By: Marie Santos

Marie Santos — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 21:39:36 +0000

Gossip,
The rust of the steel,
The object of desire of many,
The disease of society.

For most of us we do not realize as we socialize, just to bring up a topic or just to have a bond with another person, we must know about the common thing that we knew of, so that is when the gossip takes place, filling that blanks to make a common goal. To be close to the other. It is very dangerous, for most of the times many people exaggerated the idea about a person and find faults in them. Give positive feedback and then creates self-egotism. We are blinded by these sins, but still we let ourselves be sinned by this dreadful way. Everyone is a victim. We fell prey to the hidden agenda of this disease. It destroys us. We must stop gossiping. In facebook alone, statuses were made in their walls sent to anonymous because they wanted to send gossips. It creates self pity, creates trouble, destroys relationships, destroys love.. I SAY NO TO GOSSIPING. Thanks Mr. Cuelho.

By: Agnes Zopfi

Agnes Zopfi — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 14:12:53 +0000

I think the danger lies on the content of the story being shared with another person and how it was spoken. If it is maliciously motivated and spread maliciously, then it is harming. So, it still boils down on what was or is the purpose or motive of the gossip – to inform about the truth, to locate or mislabel someone? Maybe sometimes, it is fine to hear, but, better not to judge right away till proven otherwise.

By: well-known-stranger

well-known-stranger — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 17:05:39 +0000

A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man of which she hardly knew.
That nite she had a dream..
A great hand appeared over her and pointed down at her,
she was immediately overwhelmed by sense of guilt.
The next day,she went to a confession and told everything,
“Is gossiping a sin?Is that a hand of God Almighty pointing finger at me?
should I ask for forgiveness?Has i done something wrong?”, the woman worried.
“Yes.yes.yes”, the Father answered.
The woman said she really sorry and asked for forgiveness.
“Not so fast. Go back to your home and take a pillow upon your roof.
Cut it open with a knife and return here to me”, replied the Father.

So the women went home, take the pillow off bed, a knife from the drawer,
went up the fire escape to the roof and stabbed the pillow.
She get bact to the priest as he instructed.
“Did you got the pillow with the knife?”, he asked.
“Yes, Father”, replied the woman.
“And what was the result?”, asked him.
“Feathers”she said
“Feathers?”, he repeated.
“Feathers everywhere”, she told.
“Now, I want you to back and gather up every last feather flew by the wind.”,
the Father told.
“Well, it cant be done. I dunno where they went. The wind took them all over”.
said the woman.
and the Father replied
“That is gossip”.

By: Joel Valdes-Bode

Joel Valdes-Bode — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 02:25:52 +0000

Ya lo creo…Insisto en q se puede pulir mas el barniz en materia de traducciones.
Un servidor,
Chablis

By: Chablis

Chablis — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 14:52:54 +0000

It’s hard to believe how a man can hike the world with a bag pack as a mute.This was the sacrifice he made to himself for nine years,after losing someone very dear to him…Unbelievable!

By: Chablis

Chablis — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 14:42:13 +0000

If anyone can control his/her tongue,it proves that he/she has perfect control over him/herself in every other way.
_ James 3:2

By: Chablis

Chablis — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:38:18 +0000

Dear Paulo:
Re:Gossiping…
You mention the word “comparisons” and thought of an old saying:”Comparisons are odorous”…I forget the authors name.
Thank U & may U all have a pleasant Sunday!
At ease…

By: Chablis

Chablis — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:29:13 +0000

El chisme y las murmuraciones son lo mas pernicioso que existe,pues su labor nefasta es sembrar odio y rencor hasta destruir los mas grandes lazos de amistad.
Si eres portador de chismes y murmuraciones,por favor no te detengas,ni hables,…Ve con tu virus a otra parte!
Miami-Dade,Fl.12-12/2010.

By: Chablis

Chablis — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:22:45 +0000

A grand slam with bases loaded in an extra inning game,Marguerite…

By: susanna

susanna — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 08:38:23 +0000

I am living in this pain now…what you, very beautiful and clear, have put in words, all can be put on what I´ve have gone, …and still am, working on to get through…Thank you !<3

With Love..
Susanna

By: la-nina

la-nina — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 08:08:09 +0000

Very well put!

By: maja/serbia

maja/serbia — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:13:20 +0000

Kada ti neko nanosi bol,ili uliva strah,svojim nehumanim odnosom,kada ti je pomoc potrebna ili neophodna ,kada se ne osecas bezbedno,spletkari ,to jest podmece vam razne neprijatne situacije ,koristeci druge ljude u tu svrhu,podmetne vam nogu ,pa se nakon toga smeje ,pokazuje prstom na vas ,a zatim danima ili godinama govori svakome ko vas imalo poznaje o tome podsmevajuci se ,da bih bio interesantan i dominantniji od vas ili samog sebe ,pokusava da vas posvadja i iskrivi sliku o vama celom svetu,ili ako vidi u vama neku potencijalnu konkurenciju i suprotnost u stavovima,ako vas ne drzi u saci jer i sami nemate pogan jezik il;i prosto izbegavate da ga koristite jer bi vas prepucavanje sa takvom osobom bolelo ,jer biste se osecali kao da se pretvarate u tu i takvu osobu a srce vam ne dopusta,ako je ta osoba ljubomorna na vas jer zracite nekom unutrasnjom svetloscu ,da ne kazem lepotom ,a i ne mislim da je to lepota,to je prostoskup materija dobra ,od strane Boga,pa se zbog toga plasi da ne izgubi svoju materijalnu ili bilo koju sigurnost koja je odrzava u zivotu,a pritom zbog vaspitanja i okruzenja podsvesno ima ugradjen sistem u glavi da je ceo zivot takmicenje sa drugima,ali se odredjenim ljudima o kojima potpunim strancima govori ,kako mrzi njihovu decu i kako ce im njihovo dete upropastiti njeno jer je tracara,a zatim ih poziva da joj budu kumovi na krstenju deteta,licemerno i podmuklo ,pronalazi situacije i ceka prilike da nekog uvredi i omalovazi……i nemogu vise pisati o ovoj osobi jer mi crpi svu energiju i pozitivne misli,a nemogu ni da pobegnem od toga ,kao sto vec neko ovde reci ,kada se neke reci izgovore i rasire one ostaju takve kakve jesu i nemozes ih obrisati,ma kolike lazi bile ,a tesko je pravdati se celom svetu ,jer bi vam za to bio potrban celi zivot ,koji bi verovatno kratko trajao kada biste se odlucili na takav korak.osoba o kojoj sam pisala zivi u mojoj neposrednoj blizini i utisci su mi od skorasnje spletke koja joj omogucava najnoviji smesni doduse trac,zato sam se i odlucila na ovakav korak i iznela neku7 svoju viziju te osobe,koja je podstaknuta de facto,cinjenicama,i zelim da zaustavim sve to jer isuvise sam stvari istolerisala u zivotu,ovaj put sudskim putem.Najteze mi pada to sto je i taj sudski put jos jedan u nizu povoda za tracarenje,ali nadam se i poslednji.dusevni i moralni bol ce se nadam se racunati,netreba mi novac ,samo da napokon prestane sa tim sto radi.

By: Princess

Princess — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:04:28 +0000

Gossip has a negative connotation. But I don”t believe that talking about someone in a positive way to be bad. It’s gossip, yes. but it can be uplifting, especially if a bird passes by, hears it, and carries the message to the person. :)

By: Marguerite Keenan

Marguerite Keenan — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 08:03:44 +0000

To me (malicious) gossip – is just another form of ‘bullying’ when it is judgemental, opinionated or harmful to another…It is the ‘maintsay’ of ‘playground politics’ –

It can be very destructive to another’s personal or professional integrity – and creat a ‘halo’ affect where others (afraid of not agreeing with the original gossip) go along with it – then the ‘Chinese whispers’ get out of control…Just like the small fish swim under the belly or behind the shark so as not to be eaten…so it goes on…

To a sensitive soul…who may be ‘hypervigilant’ or extremely sensitive…the thoughts, words or behaviours of another or group of others can play havoc with the soul, mind and heart…People can be seriously damaged by gossip – a hurtful glance alone can be enough to destroy someone’s ability to be stable within themselves and thrive…

The Native American saying ‘Never criticize another until you have walked a mile in his/her mocassins’ gives me food for thought each day…

‘I wish you no harm’…is what the person who chooses to not engage with gossip is saying…in this lies the heart of compassion…

We all need to be loved rather than judged; be ‘included’ rather than ‘excluded’; cherished rather betrayed; understood and valued rather than maligned…

So – please – the next time someone challenges or hurts you with their behaviours, words or actions – take a big breath think about what you need to do – and when the time is right try to communicate with them on a transparent level…Rather than gossiping about them or about what has happened…this goes nowhere…and is counter-productive to healthy co-operation and growth…When discussing issues with them (if this can be arranged in a quiet, agreed space or moment)stick to using ‘I’ and talking about your own feelings rather than their behaviours or pointing the finger or anger or retribution…in this way they areless likely to react as you are being fully ‘congruent’and so there is more opportunity for mutual growth and understanding…What have you got to lose apart from rejection from someone you can choose to move away from anyway to protect yourself…You can do this even in a small room if you learn how to ‘detach’ from the others misalignment of the heart…and still feel the love and compassion for and within yourself…it goes out to them either way as energy transference moves invisibly…

Most of suffer from low self esteem…so we hold back from explaining our feeling and hurts to others when we see them as the adversory…In this we deny ourselves…We are, first and foremost…creatures of the heart and our emotions and feelings are ‘who we are’…If someone chooses to reject us for being ‘heartful’ that is their issue not yours…be proud of yourself and your feelings…They are your litmus for intuition and for your life and what is important to you…and to others who are searching their own search for others who are strong enough to reveal their heart…

If they won’t respond then maybe for some reason it’s too much for them…too painful…not the right time…or perhaps they actually don’t care how you feel (usually because they don’t feel right about themselves!!)…

You can then make 1 of 3 choices (See the ‘Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle) – you can choose to…

* Leave it alone for now and just get on with things…
* Try to talk to them another more appropriate time…
* Move on…

At the end of the day you can never take responsibility for another persons behaviours…Only for your own…

There are many reasons for how another is feeling or behaving and gossip is an unhelpful strategy for those who need to work with personal growth and development…

See it for what it is…and don’t let your ego or low self esteem allow you to respond to gossip as having energy of its own…Use your own energy to take responsiblity for how you deal with it in a positive way or get out of the situation if that is appropriate or possible…Use coping strategies in the meantime, viz…

‘Discharge’ the upset by writing a letter and destroying or keeping it till later; see a counsellor or someone who can support you; have a good old chat with someone you trust to take it no further to get it off your chest…don’t carry it round with you like a bag of bricks on your back…

It’s not about you…it’s about the other/s…

Gossips have a heavy load to carry – that bag full of stones which they need to take everywhere with them to shatter the panes of glass of another’s ‘safe place’ or home is laden with ‘karmic’ debt…

Each and every though, word, deed or action we manifest impacts on our psychic self…so be at peace with yourself, take a deep cleansing breath and ask yourself…

Where am I coming from…

And love yourself and others…

That love will come back to you a thousand fold…

As for gossips…They need more love than the rest of us…

I send my love now to all the gossips in the world…whilst they heal and find it within themselves…

Here’s to a world free of gossip; open and transparent communication and co-operation; and more of us finding the strength within ourselves to ‘speak from the heart’…

Loving you…

Marguerite xx

By: Aditi Sharma

Aditi Sharma — Mon, 03 May 2010 08:34:07 +0000

There is a very famous and apt saying that goes something like this…”The most powerful thing in the Universe is…GOSSIP”

By: Andre

Andre — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 03:12:45 +0000

Hola a todos! bueno e tenido muchas malas experiencias por culpa de gente que habla por hablar o de más… Creo ke si uno sabe algo de otra persona debe de callarlo… mi madre siempre me dice: “Antes de decir algo tómate 5 minutos para pensar cuales serán las consecuencias de ke otros lo sepan”
saludos