Quote of the Week

Haters are confused admirers who can’t understand why everybody else likes you.

Comments

  1. Hilary says:

    Winston Churchill said, “Truth is incontravetible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.”

    By siding with love over the truth you are doing everyone, including yourself, a diservice. If fear of not being loved is causing you to not side with the truth then you are in the wrong group and should consider distancing yourself on certain issues if you still intend to stay as part of the group. But if you must be involved in this issue, then my advice is to always stand on the side of truth because in the end the only thing that will be left standing is truth. If someone tells you you are making the wrong decision to stand with the truth, then tell them that you prefer to err on the side of truth. What will it profit you to stand with a lie because of fear of losing someone’s love? If there is fear of losing the love of a person or a group, then maybe that love is shaky and will not last. However, if you stand with truth as you continue to give love, in the end you will continue to be stand while others have egg on their faces; and you will eventually earn the respect of the group.

    If you or the group shy away from standing with the truth then you send the message to each member of the group that “truth is not welcomed here”. Eventually, the group will no longer be a safe place to belong.

    Love much,
    Hilary

  2. Mung Daal says:

    true.. the world needs balance

    and lo, came about haters to counter admirers

    both devoting time .. one to praise the other to ridicule

    both devotees of strong emotions towards one subject :)

  3. Dhede Wantah says:

    Does everyone have or live with a hater(s)..??

    1. Ray says:

      I think Elaine said well the essence of hatred. It’s often a projection of one’s own constraints and inabilities.

      The other side of the coin is that if you want to achieve something big you inevitably piss some people off. Paolo, an many famous people, may have done that. There is a rich discussion going on the subject at Tim Ferriss’ blog:

      http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/11/25/the-benefits-of-pissing-people-off/

  4. I couldn’t agree anymore with you Paulo.. the strange thing is you reassure your friends with the above when they’re going through rough time; but when it’s you who’s the target you find yourself loosing your defences sometimes..
    It’s hard to see clearly sometimes in the middle of storms..

  5. Ana Burvenich says:

    Dear all,

    When I hate someone, it means that at that point I don’t understand his/her painfull actions towards me or others, or maybe I am very angry because of something bad that someone did to me. Before the act of forgiveness there are feelings of anger, that are honest and part of being a human too. Hate for me is a very strong and angry feeling, but sometimes necessary for being able to distance yourself from something painfull, or creating a time-out. Actions as revenge that can come out from hate are not the right answers to hate: hate needs compassion, time, a listning ear, understanding, thought, attention… if you place yourself abough a hater it doesn’t make you a saint. A hater isn’t always jealous, someone who hates can hate for very different reasons,… he can be sick, he can be very angry, he can be confused, … untill the day he understands what he can do about it, to make his hatred go away. Love is not a better feeling than hate, it is one of the many feelings people have during growing, …we need one to know the other.

    so with love and hate, ;-)
    Ana*

  6. SUMIT says:

    hiiii readers,
    I HAVE A PROBLEM WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH ALL OF U HERE…..
    if at any point of time…there is a conflict among the right thing or the truth and ur friends and loved ones,then whom should we support…i read somewhere thst happiness is more important than wisdom….in such a case happiness can be earned through supporting our friends but if they are wrong at some point and unfortunately they r not able to understand our point…what should we do…..
    i also have many friends…i have my true love also with me but manytimes i believe on people with whole heart but when it comes to some hardships they give it up….
    and if i do what i consider ethically right theay call me proudy and arrogant…plz help me…

    1. Heart says:

      We should support love more than truth, dear Sumit.

    2. Naveli says:

      hi Sumit,
      Here I do not agree completely with Heart here(sorry Heart). What I feel is that instead of supporting our friends we should make them realize their fault. I don’t think we can see our dear ones heading towards a wrong path and we should try everything to stop them,even if it costs our relationship. But sometimes love is more important than truth…
      with love,
      Naveli

    3. Ankita says:

      truth, in all its forms is sacred…never ever run away from truth, it only causes pain, may be not immediately, but for sure in the long run, never have a stained soul, be pure.

    4. aditya says:

      truth is sacread but truth is very ‘slippery’ also, difficult to say if my truth is the universal truth !! so as heart says love is teh key. even Laotse says “truth without love creates criticism”

      specific situations, if cited, specific directions can be looked into, but as sumit u have spoken generally, this is it. u may be mistaken when u say that happiness can be achived by going with freinds who are going gainst ‘truth’, no my friend, if u are going against ‘truth’ alone or with freinds, then happiness will go away from you, in fact it is one of tests of truth, if u are with truth, u are with light and it shows, u may have more difficulties, more problems, even more enemies, but u will be happier going with love and truth ( in that order ).

      love
      aditya

    5. gaurry says:

      you are the same name with my dear friend .as I saw this name here ,i almost feel my heart stop beating .I missed him so much and I think I love him although I don’t know who I ‘m loving sometimes .because I can’t understand him at many things .i felt so uncomfortable at him ,many times I even feel hurt as I think of him .many times I have to tell my self :if your love is true love ,you ‘d love this one his own face not you imagine .but how hard it is to face the reality that he is so different from all my ways .I can’t understand him I can’t set him free because if your love is true you’d love his own face ! i am very contradicted .if you cant feel happy in a love ,then the love have the reason to keep ?and if I ‘m not happy in a love ,why I yet want it keeping ?i don’t know .the person include me is so complicated especially the love feelings.
      sorry not was replying you but was speaking my own feeling.

    6. Hilary says:

      Dear Sumit,

      Happiness comes when you have a clear heart that you did the right thing.

      Winston Churchill said, “Truth is incontravetible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.”

      By siding with love over the truth you are doing everyone, including yourself, a diservice. If fear of not being loved is causing you to not side with the truth then you are in the wrong group and should consider distancing yourself on certain issues if you still intend to stay as part of the group. But if you must be involved in this issue, then my advice is to always stand on the side of truth because in the end the only thing that will be left standing is truth. If someone tells you you are making the wrong decision to stand with the truth, then tell them that you prefer to err on the side of truth. What will it profit you to stand with a lie because of fear of losing someone’s love? If there is fear of losing the love of a person or a group, then maybe that love is shaky and will not last. However, if you stand with truth as you continue to give love, in the end you will continue to be stand while others have egg on their faces; and you will eventually earn the respect of the group.

      If you or the group shy away from standing with the truth then you send the message to each member of the group that “truth is not welcomed here”. Eventually, the group will no longer be a safe place to belong.

      Love much,
      Hilary

  7. Lina Adnan Sadek says:

    Paulo Coelho, além de admirar muito o seu incrivel trabalho, sou fã de uma atriz mexicana que é completamente apaixonada por você! Creio que já tenha ouvido falar na ex-RBD Anahí. Eu como fã, gostaria se possivel de fazer com que ela te conheça em sua proxima visita ao país pois gostaria muito de ser uma das responsaveis por seu sonho se tornar realidade. Sei que é uma pessoa ocupada e pouco disponível porém se houver maneiras de me ajudar aguardarei sua resposta!

    Muito obrigado!
    O senhor tem minha completa admiração! Um dos maiores orgulhos deste país!

  8. Naveli says:

    hi readers….i have a problem and i wanted to share it with u all.recently i am feeling very lonely…i am surrounded with friends but its like “water water everywhere but not a drop to drink”.i am single and sometime i feel like i should have a boyfriend like my other friends…but then i am really afraid of getting ditched again.i was into a courtship of 2yrs and then we broke up.i have been single since 4yrs and still i haven’t overcome.sometimes i really hate him…i don’t know how deal with it…plz help me friends.

    1. Caroline says:

      Dear Naveli,

      this is quite not the topic here today but I have been sensitive to your message, having experienced a similar situation which, hopefully, I am overcoming just the last few months. First of all, always remember you are a great person with treasures to share with other people. Remember what they are, things you like and so on, cultivate them and you will meet people to share your true feelings with, fullfiling relationships, and what’s more important, and I think the basis for any healthy relationship, you will feel strong again and at ease with yourself even when alone

      Wish you all the best, everything will be ok!!
      Caro

    2. Naveli says:

      hi Caroline,

      Thanks for replying to my post.I know its not the topic here for this week but I thought you all can help me out because sometime strangers understands you better than your closed ones as they don’t judge you.I have been waiting for such person as you have described for the last 4yrs.

      wish you won’t have to wait that long.
      with love,
      Naveli

    3. Caroline says:

      What about your parents, or grand pa’s, or brothers and sisters? Wasn’t there anybody to hug you and tell you how great you are and make you feel beloved when this guy stopped the relationship?
      Maybe our friends and beloved ones are not people who can understand us 100% and share our feelings – who can? – but true friends are also those who can hug you and who you can ask for a hug when you need it, even if you don’t feel tuned with them at that very moment.
      Not everybody is able to be a good support for us in these situations. Don’t blame them and don’t blame yourself. Little by little, you’ll find “balms” for your soul and you’ll feel better. They can be people, a song, a poem (I really recommend them, Verlaine healed me a lot!!)…
      Above all: never lose faith!!! Something has died, something will be born, be patient
      Love to you

    4. Heart says:

      Hi Naveli,

      Spend the time discovering your own dream/interests and stop being all about romantic love relationships. Through yourself into some activities, whatever you like, and stop worrying about being lonely. If your friends bore you, take some time out, and do your own stuff.

      Love & admiration,
      Heart

    5. Naveli says:

      hi Heart,
      thanks for your helpful words.i do keep myself busy.I work for an N.G.O to spend my free time with children.Days pass but it is the night that doesn’t pass.My loneliness haunts me then.Even reading novels sometime doesn’t help.

      with love,
      Naveli

    6. Ana Burvenich says:

      Dear Naveli,

      I think something must have hurt you a lot, and you are still in pain about something that happened to you in the past. In every experience there are lessons, you can learn. Lessons about your childhood, lessons about your needs, lessons about your innerself, lessons about life,… . Try to find out what it is you need to learn, be gentle to yourself. Sometimes the things in life we need to learn are painfull. It takes time, it takes effort, kindness and strenght, it takes sometimes help from other people. What is it that is so hard for you to learn? How can the experience makes you a stronger person?

      with love,
      Ana

    7. Naveli says:

      hi Ana,
      You are right I am hurt for what happened to me in past because I was quite serious about him.It is not easy to forget someone whom you thought was your life…all that I have learned is that now I am strong enough to say a no to anyone who proposes to me even if I like that person and at the same time weak enough to make any commitment.Anyways thanks Ana for replying.
      with love,
      Naveli

    8. Ana Burvenich says:

      A new relationship can be a very scary thing, when the last one ended unexpected,… it will always be a scary thing, there are no garantees in life, and certainley none in love. It happened to me, with my first love. I always took love very seriousley, so for me it was for lifetime,… but we were only 18 then, too soon for lifetime commitments,… he suddenley didn’t want the relationship no longer, even if there were no issues, he wasn’t ready yet, he wanted to experience other relations with other women, before he would settle down,… it came completeley out of the blue,… So I cried many tears, wrote a lot of my bad feelings down, adressed my letters to him, but never sent them,… because I loved him I set him free, he was never mine and for me it made it easier to let go, not to forget, but to let go,… because it was an act out of love, and it made it my last gift to him, nothing was stolen from me, I was happy with the experience of our relationship, for as long as it was, for as long as we both could go,… spend time, and most of your time with people you love most, knowing that you don’t own them, you can only love them,.., from what you write down I understand you keep yourself out of new relationships, because you are not ready yet to take that risk again …but can you live your life like that, withholding yourself any other possibility of a new relationship with someone special? It sounds like you are punishing yourself that way for the hurt you felt,… the hurt noone could protect you from, so you are trying to protect yourself now from that hurt… that’s okey, if that is what you need right now,…you’ll know when you are ready to risk your heart in love again!

      Paul Coehlo wrote something great about this: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2007/09/25/the-wounded-by-love-agreement/

      with love, Ana*

    9. Naveli says:

      Naveli
      Hi Ana,
      You were just 18 when you fell in love with that guy….I was 15.i fell in love at an age when people don’t even know the meaning. I think your story is quite similar to mine. My boyfriend ditched me for the same reason. Thanks Ana for sharing your story with me. I can relate to you know. Even I let him go and do you know what now he wants to return to my life…but I am not able to forget those 4yrs when he left me all alone. If I could never forget his love then how can I Forget the pain he gave him. Both the feelings were equally strong and had the same intensity I can’t stay with a person who makes me happy and hurts me at the same time. So I refused him.
      Now after reading you I think I feel better. Thanks a lot Ana.

      With love,
      Naveli

  9. Caroline says:

    I already commented here but a recent experience invites me to comment again:
    I’ve seen lately a movie released in France by an old renowned director who I usually like (though never big fan), and I can say I hated it, hated it! With absolutely no trace of admiration!
    And I’m no easy hater, rather “good audience” as we say here, I always tend to see the good part in art works or people.
    Now, many people (critics) liked the movie and the best part is that I CAN understand what they say, why they loved it. I just don’t share it at all!
    The movie made me feel dizzy, it was pure non sense, free delirium of an artist, which will bring nothing to the world.
    I’m glad for them if they loved it, “the world needs people of all kind”, and as so, I just considered it a big stincky piece of shit thrown to my face and hated it, with absolutely no trace of admiration!
    The good point is that I was with a very good friend, not easily overwhelmed with hatred either, and we had a great evening laughing at that shitty movie, literally spitting the shit out of us.

    Really there are haters of all kind, some feel envy and might be considered confused admirers, others just don’t like to be manipulated or treated in a way they don’t feel right deep inside of them, and in that case hatred is very pure and sain I guess.

  10. Namaste,
    I think people who hate hate mostly themselves and project that onto others. Hatred usually tells me more about the hater than the hatee.

    Love to you

    1. Naveli says:

      namaste Elaine,
      have u ever been to India?

    2. Namaste Naveli,
      No, I’m afraid not. Beyond visiting Mexico as a child and again as a young woman, I’ve only existed within the United States.

      Love to you

    3. Naveli says:

      Namaste Elaine,
      Then must be knowing an Indian.If not then from where did u got the word ‘namaste’? its a Hindi word.

      with love,
      Naveli

    4. Namaste Naveli,
      I am a student of metaphysics and cultures. I believe we can see God in the Union of Creation. Thus each individual holds an aspect of the Divine. I borrowed the term as it suited my purpose. There is no corresponding greeting in English, so I adopted it. I hope you don’t mind.

      Love to you

    5. Naveli says:

      Namaste Elaine,
      i really didn’t mind using it.In fact I was happy to see someone using it to greet people.In India we use it to greet elders by joining our hands.Its our way to show respect….Metaphysics and culture hmmm… must be interesting.
      with love,
      Naveli

  11. sylvie says:

    Merci Paolo pour ton aide , tu as un regard qui porte drôlement loin.

    1. marie-christine says:

      ca me plait ce que tu dis Sylvie! ouais, c’est vrai, c’est un regard qui… projete a distance. well said Sylvie
      :)

  12. Alexandra says:

    I was thinking at some phrases, often to be heard. For example” I hate you and I love you too”, or “I cant live with you, but I cant live without you too”. So whats that confusion of feelings???
    Love
    Alexandra

    1. dj says:

      Hi Alexandra, i think that confusion of feelings is not love but it leads us to learn, to evolve, to grow into love when we become capable to see and receive the presents, the gifts within it and also embrace the lessons it offers us. then there is growing and expanding and at the same time returning, coming back to ourselves and to the source.

      maybe you like this beautiful song, too

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEFP_oHPfRE

      greetings, dj

    2. Alexandra says:

      Thank you dj, for your wise words and for the song. Was exactly about my issue… Take care
      Love
      Alexandra

    3. dj says:

      your welcome, Alexandra, it´s the issue of a lot of ppl. incl.
      mine. inspired i thought again..

      Peace, dj :-)

      confusion of feelings is not love. confusion is not pleasant.
      i want clarity. i want to learn, to evolve, to grow into love.
      i want to become capable to see and receive the gifts presented
      within every situation and also embrace the lessons it offers me.
      so there is growing and expanding and at the same time returning,
      coming back to myself and to the source. AUM

      song for today:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4pyJ9Df27E&feature=related
      (i don´t understand the words, but it sounds good.)

  13. sepideh says:

    ahh that is so true I am going to use that …

  14. mahadev says:

    wow!!!!!!! that’s a beautiful and true expression.

  15. Jahweedah says:

    Just to say this is SO TRUE. Bless you all

  16. Renato says:

    Olá Sr.Paulo Coelho …..eu gostaria de perguntar ….por que vossa senhoria enrrola e nao fala nda de esoterismo .por que vossa senhoria acredita ser um mago e nunca li nem um tratado de vossa autoria se tiver algum me fale qual? qual é sua raiz filosofica ?em quem vossa senhoria se inspirou ?quem foi seu mestre ou tutor ?eu nao odeio vossa senhoria so nunca vi nda de esoterismo nos livros que vossa senhoria escreve….um abraço frater… me de resposta

  17. Renato says:

    Olá Sr.Paulo Coelho …..eu gostaria de perguntar algumas coisas>> por que vossa senhoria enrrola e nao fala nda de esoterismo .por que vossa senhoria acredita ser um mago e nunca li nem um tratado de vossa autoria se tiver algum me fale qual? qual é sua raiz filosofica ?em quem vossa senhoria se inspirou ?quem foi seu mestre ou tutor ?eu nao odeio vossa senhoria so nunca vi nda de esoterismo nos livros que vossa senhoria escreve….um abraço frater… me de resposta

  18. Beth says:

    I apologize for not reading all prior comments…

    This is comment is so fun! I think the premise is this: why wouldn’t we assume we are likable and admirable and that the people who don’t “get” us just must be confused! love love love it

    thanks ;)

    1. Johanne Mercille says:

      Like it Beth. Yes, need to assume who we are! Cordially, Jojo.