For All Women Registry – Oprah.com
http://www.oprah.com/forallwomen

The key to ending poverty and injustice around the world is to educate and empower girls and women. Find out how you can help.

Widespread abuse of women is occurring out here in the Middle East. I would just like to comment on a couple of the points you mentioned, with reference to the Middle East.

“It was suggested young men be educated not to behave this way.”

This would be a very difficult task here, as most men think that female genital mutilation is desirable and expected. So how would anyone be able to change their attitudes towards women? I think it would take generations, because it is deeply seated in the culture.

” But I would far rather see the young women educated that they do not have to put up with the abuse, that they can walk away.”

This idea would not be effective out here as many women find themselves TRAPPED in violent relationships. For example, jealous husbands often do not give money to their wives so that they are not able to leave the home. If they talk to a family member then the violence increases…etc Even if they could arrest the husband, his family and friends would bribe the judges and he would be set free to continue as before. If she escaped, she could be killed or if not her, one of her family members. So as you can see this is a very complex issue and it would not be easy for a woman to just “walk away”.

Thank you…

Do You remember when You were a teenager, and there were certain things that You thought would never change, or certain things that You thought You never would get over? And years later thinking about those things it would maybe even make You laugh at these thoughts. Because if years back we thought as if nothing ever would change, it did anyway.

Well, at times, life can create these moments, when You feel down. So that after having to go through something drastical, we may feel that way again later in life, as we did back then when we were insecure, afraid, alone… etc. Situations may come that will remind You of these ‘old’ feelings.
These same kind of challenges may come Your way, many times, which give You mainly two ways how to react towards them: to react(or feel) to it as You have, so far, or to find a new way to react/feel.

Even if the change isn’t there right now, and even if You even don’t believe if there ever will… life goes on, and we learn, we get over things and we transform. Even if at this point it doesn’t seem so.

You’ll get over that barrier.
But it will be on it’s own time. And You will want to get over it… deep down. Worked for me, when I started to look at simple beautiful things in life, like a sunset, the sound of the waves of the sea, children running around, joking, a smile on a person. Etc. Little signs of (pure) love. Try to find a way to make You able to believe. And the life will turn around.

Love,
L.
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Thank you for supporting us in this way and setting standards high up there, were they should be, I believe this way may just get through and set a good example to the new generation.

Why should we or anyone for that matter be treated in this demoralising way, to be abused by a man mentally and physically is the biggest scar on my life so far, I am still struggling to heal myself after many, many years of being out of that toxic situation…
Does it ever go away… I find it hard to trust a man anymore, I try, but I think I still put up some barrier I can never seem to give myself totally to a relationship and find that I push them away…

I just hope that the good men, the real men can help protect women against wasted years thank you again Paulo and others.

http://keithpp.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/hurried-steps/

Listening to the discussion and and going from memory, 90% of abuse was directed at women, 10% at men, one in every four women is abused. I say abuse, as it is not necessarily physical, the abuse can be psychological. As one participant said, bruises heal, broken bones mend, but psychological scars take a very long time to heal. She was placed on medication, to then be raped by her violent partner whilst sedated. She went to the police, the police chose to take no action. Her children are growing up thinking this is normal behaviour, and so the cycle of violence and abuse repeats itself.

I see Nepalese girls, they are shipped back to Nepal for a forced marriage, but that is political correctness, it is rape by another name. Back they come with new husband. Their life destroyed. It is not easy to escape, because if they do escape, where do they go, family and friends will not help them.

Many women cannot leave home, not because they do not wish to leave, or lack the courage to leave, what they lack is the money to set up a new home.

Hostels are available, but are difficult to get into, and when you do, maybe wish you had not. These can be pretty grim places.

Local council housing departments, social service departments, do everything they can not to help, to deny there is a problem.

Ten years ago a friend finally found the courage to leave her abusive husband who to put it bluntly was a complete arsehole. I do not think he physically abused her, or if he did there was no obvious signs and she denied he did, but he treated her as a doormat and skivvy. Her life was a misery. She stupidly went back. I cannot throw away eight years of my marriage, she said. She had her whole life ahead of her, what was eight years? Since going back, she is never seen, does not appear to be let out of the house. By all accounts, her husband is still an arsehole.

It was suggested young men be educated not to behave this way. Maybe. But I would far rather see the young women educated that they do not have to put up with the abuse, that they can walk away.

Listening to a Member of Parliament today (recorded yesterday), he said that since he had been elected, all the murders bar one in his constituency involved domestic violence. He went on to say, nationally, two women are killed every week.

Mary and a man live in a two-bedroom beside me
Used to see her in the hall at night
Passed her on the street
But lately she ain’t comin’ around no more
She hides indoors
Afraid of what the world might say if they knew
What I know

Mary, can you come outside?
Take a walk with me in the sunshine
Maybe then you could tell me why
And all in all you seem to have it all
So why do you cry?
I hear you through the walls at night
Mary, can you come outside?

It’s 2AM and the battle starts again
I pray for your innocence in a war you’ll never win
Should I just sit here on these hands of mine
One more time
Or should I use them on him
The way he does on you?

Mary, can you come outside?
Take a walk with me in the moonlight
Maybe then you could tell me why
And all in all you seem to have it all
So why do you cry?
I hear you through the walls at night
Mary, can you come outside?

Should I just sit here on these hands of mine
One more time?
Or should I use them on him
The way he does on you?

Mary, can you come outside?
Take a walk with me in the moonlight
Maybe then you could tell me why
And all in all you seem to have it all
So why do you cry?
I hear you through the walls at night

Oh Mary, can you come outside?
Take a walk, take a walk with me tonight
And maybe then you could tell me why
Mary, can you come outside?
Sweet Mary can you come outside?

Love

http://keithpp.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/hurried-steps/

Love, Jane : )

http://www.un.org/en/women/endviolence/pdf/framework_booklet.pdf

After a couple of days of thinking about this, the more thankful I feel to to the men involved in UNiTE. Still just as excited too!
Very grateful also, because my son has become involved, to assist in any way, and offer friendship to a young mother that has just left a violent relationship.

There are many wonderful men, and now, the world can become even better as we reach out to offer understanding and compassion to each other (and hold those who would abuse, accountable for their actions too).

Much Love to All, Jane : ) xo

Thanks also for the suggestions,
how to gain wisdom and strenght.

Love and peace,
L.

Josh Gorban, You raise me up

Eva Cassidy, Somewhere

Well… I guess, if it’s said that in every person, there is a man and a woman, then I guess it isn’t entirely true, what You said. But I understand Your thought.

Be well,
L.

Education and health are the key indeed..

Something should be done!

Like when petition after petition went around the world to free woman in Afghanistan. However opposed i am to the ongoing war, i do realize that a few woman now do get an education, and have access to medical care. So little and so few but impossible without knowledge of how bad the situation was.

Couldn’t you do something?
Like put stories of what you see and hear on your face book blog. People simply have to know the stories and the forced fates of these woman, and you’re part of a very strong network here.

you’re the first man ever that i heard about his experience first hand. That is extremely brave and to do so twice is even more brave!

In violence everyone is cought, the perpetrator as well as the victim. The perpetrator suffers as much as the victim, that is why victims forgive, they see the vulnerability that makes the other lash out. In the effect turning away from violence is always the best thing, in the long run though one HAS to do something. We all know what it feels like to be weak and shaky and how that can turn to anger and agression. By knowing ourselves we can help the perpetraters. That sounds easy, but it isn’t.
Wishing you well on you way:) The path to knowledge is living ones life shameless.

more ..
http://www.takebackthetech.net/know-more