As you noticed that last week I posted here “Por que odeio Paulo Coelho”. The idea came during a conversation with a friend of mine, who was talking to someone who “hates” me and my friend asked: “why?” The more the person explained, the more she got confused. While reading 709 posts I got to the same conclusion.
They hate because someone said: you should hate it. I was also caught in this trap earlier in my life, and I can remember two cases: first it was with “The Little Prince”. Everybody said, Oh it’s a very superficial book. The second time was “The Prophet” (Gibran), also because “too easy to understand”. I waste some years before reading these two masterpieces.
So I would like you to share your similar experiences. Something/someone that you had a lot prejudices and later on you said; ” it’s much better then I thought, I should have my opinion instead of having other’s opinions.”
Thank you very much,
Paulo
I agree that we should have our own opinion and not rely upon other people to judge
especially when we are dealing with people who are very susceptible to hurt
a simple gesture could cost them unnecessary pain or duress
I forgot to say that before we were acquainted, all the persons that used to tell about him created me a bad impression, the kind of person that I should keep away from. How strange that after we became close friends and my life changed. Roads of life are entangled, but thanks to God ,interesting.
I had a friend that was much more mature and wise about life then me. In out conversations, we were giving each other the needed information or advices. It wasn’t never directly, it was through the reflections on different problems. I can say that he changed my mind, as i began to analyze the things that surrounded me, to understand that i have an intuition i should trust, and to learn more about myself. Through him i founded myself. This is how my mind changed.
Hi Paulo,
First, I have to say sorry for my bad english. Here is a part of my life that I’m not very proud. But at the end, it was a good life lesson for me.
Everything started when a new woman came work with us(i have only male collegues). In the first time, I was really happy to work with her. She was funny and very nice to talk with. She has worked with us as technician for maybe 3-4 months. A day, the boss announced us that he has to quit for 3 months and that he decided that she would replace him…. Ohhh! All the problems has started at this moment.
Some guys was secretly jalous of her new position. They was secretly expecting to get the job. Some of us had doubts about her competences and about how she got the job… We started to have doubts about the relation between her and the boss. All of us started to talk in her back. This story has became so big that the good atmosphere of work became like hell.
I started to feel bad every morning I passed the doors of the office. I started to hate my job. I’ve got problems to sleep and lost interest in almost everything. I was in depression. I had to quite de job for 1 year.
In the beginning of my desease, I hated her for what happened. More the months passed, more I’ve started to understand all the bad things I’ve done to her. All my hate was turned over against me and made me sick.
The first time I’ve done when I came back to the office is to ask her to forgive me for all bad things I’ve done. She said me:“Don’t worry with it. Everything is over now. If I would have been in your situation, maybe I would have been the same“.
I have now a lot of respect for her. She got a real good job as boss now. Sometime, we go at the restaurant or drink a beer together. Unfortunately, I’m the only one who admitted my wrongs but now I know we always payback all the bad things we do. I’m happy of this life lesson.
Annie
Dear, Paulo Coelho!
My name is Anastassia. I live in Estonia in a small town. I opened your books for myself recently. I found in them something for themselves. Now I read your book “Brida”. I am not a fan of it. But it gives me something that I can not explain.
I do not care whether the real events of this book.
I speak as a teenager. But I have a teenager. I always doubt the existence of God. I am an atheist. It is amazing when a person believes in the unseen, unknown, without doubt. He just believes.
I believe that in life there is no God. Everything is as it is. Believers in God are his slaves.
Familiar experiences Bryde. When she wants to tell everything. I find it difficult to tell the mother all about myself. It is a shame she thinks she knows everything about me. But it is not. She is close to me. I will not tell her anything. I can not say that having sex. I want it. This sex is with love. Forgive me for this pun. I simply had no one to tell.
Anastassia
Dear Anastacia, i dare to write to you because i was in the same position as you are now. I am from Macedonia, small country in Europe, before known as a part of the big Jugoslavia. Thing i want to tell you is that we were not ( me and you) raised in the God beliving society.The time was different and difficult and many other things affected to it. But one day it will come alone, with the silance, God will knock at your heart,and you will have to open him. I hope you will recognize his knocking and let him in, so you can see the light again, and have faith in what you see the things you don’t see and don’t know.I hope you will. Belive it, with all your heart.
Caro Paulo,
Permita-me dizer que não tem como lhe odiar. Você foi uma inspiração para mim desde muito nova e um dos maiores motivos para eu amar a leitura. Uma pessoa como você é um exemplo e uma boa influência neste mundo cada vez mais perdido nas neblinas da demência. Seus atos, suas palavras e suas historias inspiram e transformam, você é um ser iluminado. Obrigada.
Cadê o post do “Porque eu odeio o Paulo Coelho”?
It’s taken me all week to get around to writing something on this subject because I have not been able to think of a single time when I have based my opinion about somthing or someone on something that has been told to me. I have changed my opinion, made up my mind, withheld making up my mind and everything in between, but not because someone has told me what to think.
I have had trouble making up my mind about people too, because I am aware that my experience of them is not always the same as someone elses. An example is an uncle of mine who abused my cousin when she was young. This same uncle has always been generous and respectful of me, although some of his social opinions I find hard to tolerate (sexism and racism among them). In this case, I’ve made the decision to not have anything to do with him, not because of anything he has done to me, or because my cousin has asked me not to (she hasn’t) but because I love my cousin, and there has been no appology, she has been accused of lying, and because I wish to show her that I take the matter seriously, and will not associate with someone who has done so much harm and will not acknoledge or take steps to repair the damage.
With love, Daniel
Hey All !
Dear Paulo ..
It is such a noble act, that a man changes his mind , especially if his decision contribute to tolerate somebody or something, or to get a better clear view about something he didn’t know well..
the same thing happened with me sveral times, on different subjects.
I have heard about Buddhism long time ago, but i didn’t know that much about this religion because of being myself born in a christian family. All i have heard about it, is some silly ideas which doesn’t make any sense.
But after getting little older, and beginning understnad more the meaning of life, I changed my mind .
I have learned to be tolerant, to stop making prejudices about concepts that i do not know much about.
For that Reason, i broke some obstacles that prohibited me ( for a long time ) to get in contact with other religions, other cultures.. So i had a better clear view about buddhism, i got to know Master Buddha – The Founding Father of Buddhism – i read a part of his quotes and teachings and i was so impressed.
Then i realised how bad it is when someone makes prejudices on something he barely know about, and i realised also that all religions carry the same Ultimate Essence, and the true way of wisdom is to tolerate everyone no matter how their point of view may be different from ours.
Hi Michael.
I think changing our mind is not noble, but very reasonable and sensible, when we understand that we have been wrong about something/someone.
And I find it very true what You said about different religions carrying the same essence. It’s not purely making others see life through Your (accepted and picked) frame/perspective, but letting them see the same life through the frame they prefer.
But for me, it all changes when I stop categorizing religions and when I forget the different types of it.
Hi Liina..
perhaps you are right, changing our mind could be more based on sensibility and reason than being a simple noble act.
And as you said, let everyone see life through his own frame , we all have the same right & we all have the complete freedom.
But sometimes our ” frame ” would become more rich if we share our thoughts with others, in that way we can change our minds and improve our thoughts.
And i totally agree with you,that all changes when we forget the different types of religions.
Let us just be equal brothers in this world having all the same rights, working to stop our conflicts with each others, to reduce suffer from this world, and create space for peace and love, and finally protect our Environnement.
Thanks for your Concern ..
Ciao Paul,
Interesting question.
I have thought this through my work in Human Resources.
In the beginning I took no notice that people could hate or don’t like an employer or a colleague or a business.
Then I began to ask for a favor when people express such a feeling. I found out that people often have a feeling not in relation to a real experience but often get it through dialogue with others and be strengthened through this dialogue,
To me very interestingly, how people express emotions without having experiences similar to a feeling.
I come from Denmark, from the town where H.C. Andersen grew up and his fairy tail about one feather became 10 hens through gossip, perhaps, it corresponds very well with how many people today express and find strong feelings.
Can you dislike a writer who can not read a book and actually have not met? In our culture we think obviously we can.
I wish we did not do it that way in our culture, or perhaps it is a characteristic of the individual.
But it means that we bring ourselves to judge and judge without having the background of a conviction.
I wonder also why we express the negative feeling so much because we do the things we do not know.
By this I mean that if someone likes your writing, they express it but we do not hear that they like Paul Coelho or his other books if they have not read a book or have met you.
My question is why we choose the negative view on something we do not know?
Is it our own uncertainty, it is a urinstinkt who just stays in human?
This complexity/simplicity of some masterpieces seems like religion ….
they seem simple as they offer the one and single truth that flows in all particles of the universe, that is so skillfully designed that presents it self as one thing, so it seems “easy”.
they seem complex as they carry the details of a marvellous structure.
depending on how and who looks at it, it seems simple or complex. the problem with simplicity is that some can not believe that an easy thing can be unique,or especial, but just ordinary and worthless, such people believe that a complex thing can not belong to all, but to Especial people. let them be far far a way from TRUTH.
My mind is constantly changing as I more and more
am learning to keep an open mind. Changing your mind
is often seen as something negative, as not
being consistent. I’ve changed my mind about that,
when I learned to see that changing your mind is
a vital part of growing as well as being consistent…
Lots of love,
Vicky
I agree full heartedly with Vicky here. In my life, I have changed my mind at times because I have had to, when the original tract or thought was too small and needed to enlarge in order for there to be any rational becoming of life and reality as they happen. There are times when in order to continue to be consistent in one’s growth, one is required to change. There is no use staying in (shoes or situations) whatever that doesn’t fit you anymore. Many blessings and Peace,
Dear Victoria, reading your comment made me think of some
expressions to the same idea… To broaden one’s mind, to broaden
one’s horizon… You just broadened mine :-) thank you.
Lots of love,
Vicky
hi everyone,
i’ve bin following this blog for months. You all have interesting opinions on everything.
And i must thank Paulo for writing wonderful books that have touched my heart:)
Love all
Sahana
I can not come to think of any person right now, but I do have two quite superficial experiences…
Using high plateau-shoes and wearing a latex catsuit.
I never thought some years ago I would use that kind of shoes, but later when starting making my photos for internet I found it was much more fun than I could have thought of. Being a little bit of an exhibitionist it suited me perfect, but I was raised in an environment where I was not allowed to stick out and where even high heels was something I should avoid because I was “already so tall”.
The catsuit came later as a compromise to make one of my sessions funnier for the client, I never expected to enjoy it, only to endure it. To my surprise I felt very comfortable in it (all covered up, sort of “cocooned” in thick plastic) and later had one tailormade for myself.
So before you try it, how do you know that you hate it?
I think you really should go for the parashuting Paulo!
thank you Josephine for sharing your story.
it seems like you have a very interesting life:)
i also have something similar on outfits, lingerie.
i used to wear only pale/pastel colors because it suited my quiet personality. but one day, when i was trying on another pastel at my favorite lingerie store, the person, who were helping me, said ‘you always put those colors. it looks good on you but you look a bit too quiet and not lively. let me cheer you up a little bit. ‘ and she brought me a pair of candy pink. i hesitated at first and asked her professional opinion if i look presentable in it. but she was right. pink is good. so since then i am trying to fill my lingerie box with all range of pink.
i have not yet tried parachuting but why not.
love
chieko
i wonder why are there some people who seem to have no difficulty with changing minds changing decisions while there are some that even if their choices comes to a point that it destroys them they still hold on to it. there are times that even if i convince my self to change my decision still i cant do it even if it hurts me already. and there are people that i saw whom changes their mind even if it hurts those who are around them. fancy that. how ones decision on belief affect the lives of other people.
Dearest Paulo,
I am surprised how someone like you can fall in this trap! You don’t seem like someone who listen to others to have a personal opinion!
My experience on changing minds comes from my working environment. I remember at least 2 superiors at work whom at first glance look like they are very tough, demanding persons, always yelling, those people you will try to stay very far to avoid trouble at work…However, what I noticed is that these persons are most of the time those with a golden heart, very sensitive and generous. So I learned to change my mind on those who from outside look like persons to avoid, but if you learn to know them can be your best and loyal friend! These persons are not hypocrite persons, not smiling and being nice with everyone just for the sake of being nice. So I learned not to judge people on what you see, ‘l’apparence est trompeuse’ as you say in french!
Lol!
We’re all humans, Mareina. So is Paulo. We’ve all been in these type of situations. Just that if we become aware that this type of acting is silly and judgemental, is when we start to change.
I am absorbed in ‘A Warrior’s Life’, your biography, dearest Paulo Coelho. I am in page 120, of the English version. It is perfectly written and your … diaries, breathtaking. From a child who has never been a baby or a child! How couldn’t your parents, your teachers and everybody not been able to SEE what a mature, wise, beautiful Soul you were and have always been?
Yes I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND: I love you more and admire you more. God bless you and Christina, your angel and companion.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
I start reading yesterday (in English). I read only the pdf of the final version, while the book in Portuguese was being printed.
To answer your question: if they were able to see, probably I wouldn’t be.
What a suprise to read about yourself in a foreign language…
It must be strange to read about yourself in a foreign language.. and I am sure your diaries must be much more interesting and ‘warm’ written directly from your beautiful soul, in your own language..
Yes, but if they were able to ’see’ you would have had less lonely times.. I could ’sense’ your desire for tenderness, sweet words, hugs, as all babies and children desire, especially the gifted ones, and an ‘enormous’ coldness around you…
You have your mother’s eyes and smile and you were a handsome boy. You seemed to be reading everything at the age of other children of your age were reading ‘Simplified classics’.. and not just reading them but taking notes and ‘judging’ them.
Thank you, for answering to my comment above. Have a nice evening.
MUCH LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Thelma I agree with Paulo when he says “If they were able to see I probably wouldn’t be.”
Noble hearts, need injustice to realize that they have to fight for justice so that they will help others because they have already felt their pain.
This is why we have to thank God not only about the good things but even the bad things which happens to us.
LOVE
Olta
What a wonderful statement!!!!
BUT!!! objection your honour! Love cannot be measured!! how can you love him more ??? ;o)
Love you both so so so much!!
Love and Graditude
Annie
Your … objection accepted!!! Swannie.
LOVE cannot be .. measured but we can .. add more dimensions, colours and reflections to it!! To make it .. richer.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
i totally agree with you paulo coelho because we do not think as we need to think but we think with some perceptions and some vague images about the things .i started to try to see the things with an impartial frame of mind when i was in the first year of collage .most of time we see things with a jaundiced eye and that is the apple of discord.
A Warrior’s Life by Fernando Morais, an absolute must read!
http://keithpp.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/a-warriors-life-by-fernando-marais/
Keith
the human’s brain is really one organ what is full of the problem and it likes so much to creat the problem with itself . we struggle with ourselves we conflicted with others .we created the most advanced machines but we can’t deal with our own problem or we won’t be here.whenever we can understand our own heart ?whenever we can stop beating ourselves ?whenever we can stop hurting others ?whenever we can feel peace and love overwhelm our heart ?sometimes I can’t understand the prejudice about others is from my own idea or from others ,but it is here and speak of the prejudice ,it would never be right since the human all have many faces same as the diamand , and we only see the not bright side !but there are so many times even if I know that I still can’t help hurting others because no matter how I can’t stand them although I know all that dislike is from my prejudice .I really don’t know when I can change myself !
Thank you Kealan!! The .. Muppet’s Bohemian Rhapsody for Good morning!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Hm. I have a prejudice to Lindsay Lohan’s film. I always think that all of her films are shallow chick flicks. Once I watched Georgia Rule on HBO by chance, surprisingly it was a good movie, a very heart-touching one, I must say and her acting was great there. If ‘coincidence’ didn’t save me from my prejudice, I might be missing the lesson in that movie.
Avoiding prejudice, it’s hard because I have to fight my automatic pilot. Constantly awake and alert, sometimes it’s exhausting but I don’t want to give up. When I encounter/meet someone and my automatic pilot tell me to stay away from them, I tend to fight. Hey, it might be my “instinct” tell me to stay away, not the automatic pilot. In some cases, it turned out that my automatic pilot was right and that person really bugged and tried to intrude my private life. In some cases, I’m glad that I managed to fight the automatic pilot because I have a good friend now and we can share and learn each others experience. So now I’m kinda torn: how to differentiate “automatic pilot” and my “instinct”
Like my husband, he never watches movies with sub titles, or chick flicks for that matter. He definitely misses out on good flicks! And myself normally reject war movies, prison movies, drug movies, divorce movies, gangster movies, horror movies, movies with only black actors, sci fiction movies…but once in awhile I give these a chance too, and do get out of my box for awhile.
Paulo,
Thanks for this week’s topic. All posts really help me a lot. I have a problem regarding changing my mind, ‘coz I usually do. Sometimes, it’s good sometimes it’s not, so I have to have more idea when to change my mind.
Take care
Olá Paulo,
recentemente pude ler “O Pêndulo de Foucault”, de Umberto Eco. O livro é uma grande compilação de teorias conspiratórias relacionadas a sociedades secretas e ocultismo, amarradas em uma trama interessante de mistério.
Um dos personagens é o Conde de São Germano, figura enigmática que alguns ocultistas afirmam ter sido um imortal, mestre iluminado, alquimista, etc, com participação ativa em vários eventos importantes da história. Entre as identidades que lhe são atribuídas estão Hesíodo, Platão, São José, Merlin, Rosenkreuz, Colombo e Francis Bacon.
A associação com “Eu Nasci Há 10 mil Anos Atrás” foi imediata, mas não encontrei nada a respeito na internet. Por acaso a música foi baseada nessa lenda do Conde? Poderia fazer um post sobre isso?
Parabéns pelo sucesso.
As many have written, it takes a great amount of courage to change your mind.
“The supreme act of courage is that of forgiving ourselves. That which I was not but could have been.
That which I would have done but did not do. Can I find the fortitude to remember in truth, to understand, to submit, to forgive and to be free to move on in time?” Kauffman
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here is a portion of ENDGAME by Samuel Beckett adapted by Lainee
My heart said, “That’s love…yes, yes, not a doubt… That’s friendship… no question, you’ve found it.” It said to me. “Here’s the place. Stop, raise your head and look at all that beauty. All that order! ” Then it said to me, “Come now, you are not a beast, think upon these things and you will see how all becomes clear. And simple!” Then it said to me,” Notice what skilled attention they get from you…. all these crying of their wounds —
I say to myself — “Sometimes, I must learn to suffer better than that if I want them to weary of punishing me — one day.” I say to myself — “Sometimes, I must be there better than that if I want them to let me go — one day. But I feel too far gone, to form new habits.”
“Good. “ I say to myself “This will never end. —– I’ll never go. —–I will never leave them ——— It’s easier this way.”
Then one day, suddenly, it ends, —— it changes, ——– I don’t understand, ——— it dies, ——–or it’s just me, ——–I don’t understand. So I ask my heart — sleeping, waking, morning, evening. But it has nothing to say.
So I open the door of the cell and go. —- I walk. — I am so bowed I only see my feet if I open my eyes. But it’s easy going. —much easier than I imagined. I go.————————-
——————-When I do fall, I will weep with happiness.
This is what we call making an exit.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
TAKE A RISK — AND THEN MAKE AN ENTRANCE :-)
love, courage, and warm light to you,
Lainee
Lovely Lainee… wonderful encouraging words. Thank you.
Love & admiration,
Heart
changing my mind …..
I have currently a situation, where I have the feeling that I need to have an open mind that stays flexible all the time to always change.
1. my sister & brother-in-law have both to deal with cancer. and with the disease, old dormant problems that have existed between her and me have become present again, that hurt me additionally to the whole situation we already have.
having an open mind that is ready to change gives me now an opportunity to step out of this old problem, do not take it so personally as I did it before and be able to still keep my compassion for them and trying to find a new basis for communication and stay connected.
2. Paulo, I am working on the realization of an old dream :o). and one of your postcards that says one should be going for one’s dreams and only focus on the good events, helps me a lot. I taped a copy of it at my office door at home so that I pass it often & have a look at it. it is like a mantra.
I am at a point where I need help from somebody to move on with my dream. I finally found a person who said she wants to help, but her actions look differently. in such a situation, I used to be negative, angry, being fearful what always took a lot of energy.
I decided to look at the situation differently:I still work with her to clarify how she can help me, at the same time I am looking for alternatives, trust in the past/path that it had worked out till now, look for the positive things that still work now, and prepare alternatives. and I am finding now new ideas, how it still could work even when I am doing it on my own :o)
a changing mind is a flexible mind that seems to open up to new possibilities to look at things & find solutions.
There we have the little prince again: because he was open and wanted see other planets, he was really capable to recognize what his rose was to him. changing mind means leaving “our” planet. i.e., litle world, and go on the little prince’s journey :o)
Love it or hate it? Changing your mind!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcEpdxsWZLA
(Hate It Or Love It)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7PFlGRPkGs&feature=related
Loved the muppets’ bohemian rhapsody
Thank you Kealan!
Love and Graditude
Annie
Anna my sweetheart; Anna my love;
I can not speak volumes tonight, I can not speak love!
Hurt from relationships hurt, from love;
I cannot do anything without your love!
(Annie, if you wish it this poem is not about you!)
(I just wrote it!)
I think it is wonderful for whoever you wrote it :D
;o)
El mejor guerrero es aquel que consigue transformar al enemigo en amigo.
Paulo Coelho
it was when I had to cook an egg.
I negated all the opinions an egg roll? no
an egg Benedict? definitively no
an omelette? nope
I hesitated was it going to be a hard boiled one? or a soft-boiled one?
The decision then was easy to make – the soft boiled one;it took less time
Time was the essence.. ;)
thank you for the laugh;)))
Have you seen the movie DOUBT? It is about both Gossip and changing minds :)
I dont know why i am writing this. I was browsing and arrived here accidentally, and also i was reading this simultaneously:
“No superintelligence (not even God perhaps) could know the exact positions and momenta of all the particles of the universe at a given moment because the particles do not have exact positions and momenta at the sametime (the Heisenberg uncertainty principle); hence their future behavior is not precisely predictable or determined.” –
Robert Kane – A CONTEMPORARY INTRODUCTION TO FREE WILL
I feel There is a connection.(My Opinion!)
Olá Paulo, boa idéia deste post… deixe-me pensar um pouco sobre o assunto. Não conseguido me lembrar de nada no momento, geralmente eu vou pela minha opinião mesmo…
Abrações!
Some other changes -
had had bad circle of friends who my mother asked me, if I was sure they were the right kind of people for me…
I would say, yes, yes of course..
but of course those friends turned on me and scorned me after a while..
I changed my mind. Moved out of my shared flat with two of them and started a new social life at uni in my last year. Then at my second uni course, for a masters degree, i found a new set of friends… broad minded, loving and wonderfully funny. I felt blessed.
I changed my mind about how i felt about my stepfather within the first year. I had been made to feel like i should hate him. But actually it wasn’t the case. I didn’t know him..
no, in fact… i hated having lost my voice, my exclusivity, my private space at home. But by nightfall i had decided how to confront my anger and make ammends.
I change my mind a lot about when it is best to “go for something”… i wait for the right time, moment, conditions, settings…etc…
If it is all right.. i go. If not, i revise my plans.
Thank you for being so open :D
I was thinking about friends yesterday.. how many of them are true friends in the end? who is going to really care when something happens to you (good or bad)? and again the previous quote of the week with the many (20000) friends came to mind…
Oh, Paulo you are EVERYWHERE !! :D
Love and Graditude
Annie
Swannie, you know that mothers are also best friends!
LOVE, Mamma Thelma xxx
Yes, Mamma Mia!! <3
Love you
Love and Graditude
Swannie
interesting what you are saying because I have always had my own opinion about lots of things however no one ever listen to it, always dismissed it. Still, I keep at it because it makes sense to me.
thank you for sharing.;)
May be my example will seem to be funny. It is about my favourite music. A friend of mine like to listen Marilyn Manson and before I used to say ” what a crasy freak this Marilyn Manson ! He is not normal all he do and all he sing is disgusting, people say he is satanist he kills animals on his concerts !” Than one day I have decided to forget how does he look like and what roumors I heard about him just take his CD and just LISTEN. And I sturted like his music !!!! Now I am a big fan of Marylin Manson !
i have a long list of this topic. one of them is tv sitcom ‘friends’. i did not like to watch it, because of the reason below, but it was such a boring day that i thought i wanted to cheer myself up. and thought maybe a lot of laugh would help.
then i watched it. i laughed until i cried. it was so funny. and i was happy with the ending too.
i did not like to watch it because the love was treated in the way i did not like.
at first, there is a guy who likes a girl who is a bit out of his league. so he almost gives up his love. i do not like that. then there is love that is doubted. i do not want to doubt love. finally, there is love that is denied! i do not like it at all! i just cannot believe people deny love! burying it deep in his heart. i cannot do such a thing.
i grew up reading fairy tales such as cinderella and little mermaid many many times. and i think i unconsciously concluded that if i want to have ‘happily ever after’, i have to keep love in a sacred place and nurture it because it is so special. what i mean by nurturing is like maybe taking care of it very well. so it should not be neglected. so i was afraid that if i watch the sitcom, i would feel like it would violate my love that i have been nurturing.
well, i guess tv is just for fun. but i still do not understand that complicating love story is accepted by the mass. i think love should be simple. when i fall in love, i write a love letter and if he has the same feeling we go out right away. so simple.
maybe because there are many kinds of love…?
back to this topic, so i usually skip things that are against me or my idea but when i try it i find it is fun. so that means that i might be missing lots of fun out there…?
anyway, thanks for reading
love
About works of art I can not remember not having my own opinion, it’s quite evident for me.
So it is with many things, people in general for instance.
There is something that could apply here: how I changed my opinion regarding the general concept of “poverty”… Don’t most of you immediately feel some pitty when imagining poor people, poor countries, etc.?
A trip to India – where I sincerely thought I might never go in my life, wondering how I would react to extreme poverty and not the least fascinated by the famous indian spirituality…
In the very first days there, wandering among Bombay/Mumbai slums on my trips in cabs, I’ve seen (and felt) the most noble persons I’ve ever seen on earth, living under a plastic tarpaulin during monsoon. Just to give an example of the dozens of experiences I lived there which made me change my mind about “poverty” forever.
I don’t say it’s great to be poor, or that these people are happier than I am (now quite wealthy and full of gratitude for it), I just experienced the difference between economical misery and moral misery, and that economic misery does NOT mean moral misery, as all the media tend to make us think.
Now I’m quite hangry everytime I hear about “poor Africa” for instance, this call for pitty, and people don’t imagine all the richness there, human, social, cultural, natural and economic as well (not all african people starve!)
I almost cried of emotion when, at a concert by a malian musician in Paris, commenting about the sad feeling he gets many time from people here – dressing dark colors, worried and so on – he said he believes that “the mission of Africa, is to save the world” ****
More generaly I realize I changed my mind about the medias, mass medias and the TV in particular. I can no longer believe that what they say is full truth, they simplify situations to there maximum and always tend to show the ugliest, probably because it’s more spectacular and sells more. They vehicule stereotypes and narrow people points of view. So first I don’t take what they say for granted, then I try to widden my sources (good newspapers help to have a wider point of view) or check things personaly.
I hope you won’t think I’m naive and don’t want to see ugly things. I just think there are already so many ugly things and situation, we shouldn’t allow them to destroy everything, showing only the ugly angle.
I like yr example of the little prince. i wasnt in a hurry to read this book precisely, and then I did by coincidence and it captured me to the point that I read it in all the languages I could understand trying each time to catch its subtilities.
the same thing happened with you. For long years, I didnt want to read Paulo Coelho, because of all the advertising on the writer. I had the feeling that reading Paulo Coelho was one more step through consumerism.
Also, i didnt want to read a writer simply because that’s what the others do.
I think advertising and marketing kill the “credibility” of a writer. to be sold an idea still sounds strange for me. I never read best sellers. I need sthg more consistent.
I always had the preconcieved notion that you could only fall in love one time in your life. Being married for 13 years I honestly believed that he was it. Imagine my surprise when our 13 year marriage came to an end 5 months ago… I now believe that there is someone out there that I will fall in love with again someday. I now believe that sometimes we have to go through certain experiences to be able to get to where we need to be. It might not be what we necessarily want, but it’s what we need! Someday when I am all healed and whole again, I know that love will happen for me again, however, I will not wear those rose colored glasses anymore.
What I say is – it is his choice. He is free to choose. He is the one on the pedestal.
Eu estava lendo os comentarios de porque odeio Paulo Coelho. Um livro ou qualquer que seja a obra pode falar mais ou menos a uma pessoa. Mas que nao-leitores escrevam que seus livros sao para pessoas com baixa estima, pouco estudo e sem amor a vida é de uma ignorancia sem limite. Que educaçao pode ter recebido esse nao-leitor para sentir-se tao superior a outras pessoas! O que ele sabe da vidas dos outros, dos sim-leitores. Esse é o maior prejuízo que podemos ter, julgar-se melhor que os demais.
I don’t understand everything here now. But I do understand I don’t want him to get hurt. I’d rather let go.
I’ve just been out for dinner and realised that one of the biggest things that I have prejudices against is food. I judge food by the look, nationality, texture or colour. I even decide whether I like it or not by the name of the dish. All of this greatly distorts my mind as to whether or not I will try it. I realised tonight that I am very bad at trying new foods, even though more often than not when I have tried something new, it becomes a favourite!! I made a decision tonight never ever to judge food again so harshly!!!!
x
I remember just about a year ago it was when i had just gained a level of recognition for my poetry. There was a friend of mine who had never taken the time to read my work but made the statement that i cant take you seriously as a poet. I asked why they told just because i know the real you. The statement at first made me fustrated then i question if it were true. Does this person who says they know the real me really know me or is just full of pride and bullshittin themselves.
I asked how can you say that and not read my work, work that i express a side of me i find it hard to show people in any other way but poetry. so i dismissed my friends notion of knowing the real me until they read pieces of my work.
later on my friend returned to me after reading a few pieces and told me they never knew i thought like that and said they related with one of my peices. But still my question can someone really and trully know the REAL you i dont believe it is possible. i dont even know the real me everyday im discovering new things about myself.
The statement “I know the real you” i believe is foolish and false. sorry if i went off topic, lol.
Dear Rashid,
We’ve been talking a lot here about wearing masks or trying to please others, etc.
I think this statement “I know the real you” applies somehow to people who tend to offer the face and attitudes they imagine people expect from them. Hence “I know the real you”
Now I fully agree with you that no one can ever know “the real us”, because it’s something hugely wide and complex and changing.
Hearing that, I suffer a bit because I can’t help feeling defined and reduced. But my heart also appreciates that someone on this planet really understands a true part of me, which is a nice feeling;)
Best, Caroline
thank you Rashid for sharing your story.
i feel the same way. i mean i am also in a process of knowing myself and i would be surprised if someone has already known me. haha.
but i think there are some people who are really intuitive (maybe like you because you are trained artist so you are more sensitive to notice something real…) and they can really reveal me. it happened to me and i could not say a ward because i was so surprised.
back to your story, i do not know what they meant by real you either but i guess everyone has entitle to say anything…sorry kind of irresponsible reply…
i just hope lots of blessings to you!
love
chieko
Hi Paulo,
While I was studying Enlish Literature and Humanities, I had a little prejudice against your book. My professors who were the main cause for my prejudice, used to ironically say that “The Alchemist” would be an example for main stream pop literature. It honestly put me off and I hadn’t much interest in reading your books. It took me around five years, many postmodern novels (like beloved) and Jacques Derrida’s writings to figure out that the value of a piece of writing doesn’t lay in the difficulty of the language. I figured out that great thinkers made their thoughts available in simple language to convey their message to all people. One day (in a time of real sorrow and suffering) my best friend ‘gifted’ me with the Alchemist. I started reading it only and only to escape my pain and my thoughts. The language was easy to follow (I didn’t need a special terminology dictionary), the story line was quite clear, so it was an easy way to escape my reality. Towards the end of the book, while reading suddenly my mind started reciting the passage of the boy transforming into the wind…so I went back reread this passage (I don’t know how many times)That was it I ordered all the books I had missed out before and I went back to my professors telling them “Great minds use simple language” and “Literature is for all people to enjoy themselves and get something out of it”!!!
Ever since I haven’t listened to anyones opinion on anything. If time allows I read the book or watch the film being criticized. If not I just keep in mind that it is the opinion of a person and not me.
Love Meryem
What she said!!!
Thanks Meryem,
Hello Elaine,
Thank you for taking your time to read my post. I’m glad you liked it :-)
Don’t like Alice! I assume the references are to Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Try reading the two books. They are brilliant, an incredible play on words.
I remember a large illustrated book when I was child and visited my grandmother. Probably an original edition. I do not know what happened to it.
This experience, I have had, most often in reference to people. Numerous times have I been told, before meeting a person, that their company should be avoided for one reason or another. Generally, I find that the more people who share this opinion and voice it openly, the greater are the chances that this individual is going to be someone whom I will actually admire and like very much. In fact, it usually ends up that the person giving me the “warning” is the one I find annoying and whose company I’d rather avoid. I can think of numerous examples of this, but I’ll give just three:
In college there was this creative writing professor whom I had been told was a “monster” who gobbled people up and spat them out. “Whatever you do, just don’t take a class with him!” I was told. So, of course, the first thing I did was sign up for the first class of his that I could find. It didn’t take long for me to see why people hated him. Within a week, I saw the first student run, crying hysterically, out of his classroom. But he wasn’t a “monster” at all; he was actually a wonderful teacher. Where he came into conflict with some of his students was at the point where their own egos became either too inflated or too fragile to sustain honest criticism of their creative work. The students who demanded only positive feedback (devoid of constructive criticism) were the ones who hated him. He wasn’t the type to say “this is great” just to make someone feel good. If the piece needed to be altered drastically, or even thrown out altogether, he voiced his opinion clearly. As a result, I learned a great deal from him, as, above all, I knew that the feedback he was giving me was honest and sincere and that he genuinely meant to make a better writer of me, even at the cost of bursting the bubble of my ego now and then. He was probably one of the best professors I ever had.
The second example involves a relative who was married into my family – my niece by marriage. Due to the fact that I lived far away, it was several years before I actually met her face to face. By then, I had been told all sorts of negative things about her, primarily by my brother, who seemed to think that his son had mistakenly chosen a wife who just a terrible person. When I finally did meet her, however, we hit it off almost immediately and have been close friends ever since. And yet I can clearly see why my brother and other members of the family have a negative opinion of her: First, she refuses to conform to others’ ideas of who and how she should be; secondly, she is very unapologetic for this refusal to conform; and, thirdly, she is ever steadfastly determined to show her true self, whether anyone else appreciates that or not. For this reason, among others, I admire her a great deal and count her as a fabulous person to be around, one whose company I always enjoy.
The third example involves the CEO of a company for whom I was once employed. Similar to the situation with the professor mentioned above, I was warned, from the start, by numerous people, to avoid her at all costs. However, after a promotion, she ended up being my direct boss, and there was no way that I could “avoid” her. I was terrified the first day I walked into her office, due to the numerous horror stories I had been told. However, within a few weeks, I came to understand the essence of the conflict she had with some of her employees. First, she demanded excellence – that is, she demanded that a person be willing to EXCEL BEYOND that which they originally thought themselves capable. She gave her employees the support and resources they needed to achieve this, but what she was looking for was the WILLINGNESS to excel. Secondly, she demanded integrity. She would ask, “What specifically do you think you can achieve? And what resources to you need to achieve it?” Then, once that agreement was reached, she expected the individual to achieve the specified goal, on time, and without fail. Some people thought that she was too hard, too demanding – a sort of slave-driver wearing a suit. I thought she was amazing, not only as a boss, but as a sort of mentor – an example of what is humanly possible. As a boss, she was always very clear in her expectations, and, at the same time, enormously supportive. As an individual, she lived a life in example that there is really very little that a person cannot achieve once they set their mind upon it.
Given those three examples, and the many more I have experienced which are very similar, I have learned that it is usually the very people whom I am told to avoid that turn out to be the greatest friends and mentors in my life. So, any time I hear a lot of people saying, “Oh, stay away from that person,” I make a point to meet them and get to know them as quickly as I can. Usually I find that the warnings and negative opinions are quite the opposite of the opinion I will arrive at on my own.
So true…
hope you had a great birthday Savita!!!
Much love,
Mariëlle
one of my prejudices: men never change.
i don’t believe when a man says that he has changed…
because the actions are the ones we need to believe :)
I change my mind in some times.
With a city: The first time that I’ve been in Berlin I thought that the city was so dark and cold. Now I like it (I’ve been two times more).
With a book. The Lord of the rings. My friends read this book and said me that’s amazing. I read it with this oppinion in my head but only once time. Read it was a hard work for me…And in the opposite case, “Cien años de soledad” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez wasn’t popular between my friends. Everybody tell me that’s a boring book. But I read it six times (along my life). Conclusion: My friends and I haven’t the same oppinion about the books :-)
Kisses,
Miriam
One follows others’ opinions when what they have an opinion on is low on one’s values, but when something is important to a person, one will follow one’s own opinion.
Querido Paulo,
Isso acontece direto comigo no final do ano por exemplo quando sai a lista dos melhores e piores fimes. As vezes eu adorei o filme e ele está classificado como ruim e vice-versa. Acho que o gosto e as preferências de uma pessoa não poderiam ser julgadas, cada um com seu cada um.
Beijos
“Il mondo é bello perché é diverso” That’s what italian people say. In my opinion, people should accept better new ideas from others and talk about it as friends, and be fine. So many people like to say “Oh I think this is wrong” maybe is not wrong is just different from them. I love to know new people, new culture, know how different religions works, etc.. And nobody needs to like the same thing I like, that would be boring!
Thank You Paulo, you have helped me many times. Your books are a great inspiration.
Love and gratitude to you,
Savie
I heard someone or was it that I read somewhere that ‘the only permanent thing in life is change’.. I do agree with it..
I am so grateful for all the changings of mind that I did in the past..When I first got married,I vowed to remain married and I did my best to cope with the abuse. “Till death do us part”, I heard myself said that, so I wanted to be true to my words.. But I have changed my mind although it took me awhile to break my promise..I’m glad I changed my mind and glad that I have the right to change my mind…
I got baptised in one of those organised christian religion and vowed to do what their told me to do…but I changed my mind becaused I want to become spiritually connected not only with them but with all my fellow humans no matter what realigions they may have.. I was told that I have become a part of the world now that i no longer associate with “God’s people”…
Changing our minds leads us to ‘freedom’.. but it depends on what it is that we change our minds to…there is an enourmous responsibility attatched to changing minds..Changing minds mustn’t taken lightly…it is a part of responsible decision making…
For me, my mind is my first challenge in myself. It’s like mirrors that control everything in our life especially in my social life. My mind never stops thinking even I’m sleeping. I always said to myself that I want the other people accept the way I’m but in the end, it’s hard…..prejudice in something made me realized that it’s hard to please everybody. In the end, you’re the one who made decision about what is bad and good about yourself. People judgments only a source or gadget that help you to improve your mind. It’s a brain twister or some source in building our mind perception about several thing that influence us. For me, our mind is creating imaginations about everything that happens in our life and explains it in a way we think about something. The way you think is the way you life. That’s my perception about this conversation. Nobody perfect…different people, different type of thinking so, don’t made other people control the way you think because, it will stuck you in the middle of your personality and characteristic. Hard being yourself if you always judge other people prejudice about yourself. TQ.
My father always brought me up to think for myself, never assume, don’t generalise. So I ended up learning never to listen to anyone lol – then I would argue with my father and he probably regretted teaching me to think for myself tee hee
I have though, changed my mind about people. People whom I originally didn’t like, I learnt to like.
I am reminded of the quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.”
Changing my mind has been the process of growing up. Most of my prejudices stemmed from my childhood and my family. Like most children, I regurgitated what my parents thought and said. These people and things were good, while those others are bad, etc. etc.
My family wanted me to go follow the “traditional” paths to success (doctor, lawyer, engineer). Yet, they were materially successful and spiritually poor. Why would I want to follow their example when they were miserable?
Choosing how I wanted to see and interact with the world has made things better than I had ever believed possible.
Numerous times I must be or have been prejuciced, but nothing has been more harmful then listening to another persons prejudices.
I have the experience some people come on strong with their ideas and sometimes I do as they say, mostly because I am not alert enough to rekect waht they say, although I had already decided to do otherwise.
This is a bad habit of mine. I will tell you why. For example, as a student, i stopped using a certain medicine against epilepsia (I had or might occasionally have a mild form), i took it since i was a 8 year old.
I did not consult a doctor because I already knew what they would say: go on taking it, and they would not tell me anyting about the (side)effects of the medicin because they are not known, at least they are not scientifically proven as (side)effects and for that they are officially not known.
Then a girl staying in the student house where I was living (she did not have a room of her own yet and we had a large house in the centre of the city) urged me to go to her fathers hospital because she said I was being dangerous in not conuslting any one.
So I went. Bad idea. The medicine guy I saw told me a lot of bull shit, it has harmed me severely for years and years. Had I not gone, I would have listened more carefully to my body and brain that were struggling to leave the former influence of the neurodrugs. Picture this, I was 22 years old, had been taking it since age of 8, it knew nothing without them.
Now I know what the stupid medicine guy said which was all wrong, all wrong. He said I had nothing to be afraid of, there was no epilepsia at all, I could do as I pleased, and said former doctors had been wrong for all my life.
He by the way did prescribe a medicine but I left i there in the hospital. I would no longer take any neurodrug in my life.
Because of what he said, I thought I had bee taking these medicine for nothing, all those years. I was so angry.
I left my country and studies abroad for 2 years.
Then I started to experiecne severe problems of health and with my memory. I could not reproduce what I had done the day before.
I had so much information in my head, I could not proces it.
It has harmed my memory and I needed the last 15 years to recover all of its functions – in which I have succeeded.
By the way, I needed to find out by my self how to do recovber my memory, and also that the medicine-guy had been wrong in everything he had said – he would not admit anything before I could prove it.
In the end – after years – I found out he was not certified to have treated me that day I came along, his former chief of staff informed me about it. He was unexperienced, unqualified to read EEG reports, and still in education as a specialist doctor.
God, I wish I had never ever listend to that girl in my house, she was only a (non-paying) guest, she was no good, and I should have listened to my own heart and mind, instead of her stupid and innocent advise.
I should have listened to my prejudice.
Dear Lucrecia, what a horror story!
But am very glad your are alive and fit and healthy this day to share it with us.
I would say : always follow your instincts… but with doctors it’s hard.
Having dealed with an awful lot of sicknesses in my family I unfortunatly found out that even qualified doctors are WRONG about half of the time, if not more often. And I don’t even want to talk about all the mistakes that are being made… mistakes that mean the difference between life and death for the person involved. And even with the diagnoses; two people in my direct surroundings have been diagnosed with cancer, to than months later have an operation to remove it, to than when waking up hear that it was not cancer.
Doctors are just human off course… but you do trust their opinions and diagnoses… if not; who else can you trust? Doctors can do wonderful things, but can also ruin somebodys life without much concequences at all for the doc itself.
Anyway, thank you for your story!
Love and trust,
Mariëlle
Mariëlle
Thanks for your nice answer. To me this has been a life changing experience. I have by the way talked with the doctor who made the mistake, he felt sorry, but mostly because he was corrected by senior specialists in this field.
My sister is also a doctor, but in another field, she has saved a lot of people, I know because twice I was there (the first time it was a baby at christmas eve, the second time it was my mother).
So I will not condemn medicine in general.
My anger now is that I neglected my mistrust of neurologists in their knowledge of the effects of certain neurodrugs.
In the end, I met a 70 year old neurologist who had treated epilepsia patients for most of his career. he explained how the drugs worked , he knew because he had seen it with his patients over the years.
In the end, I studied alot my self and I found out how to recover myself.
It was terrible, but in the end, I learned alot about life and the world.
I read Coelhos books to keep the faith and to remind myself that the fight is worth the effort.
I think, prejuice is about fear, we judge someone when we don’t know him and feel fear about the other person. I really beleive in the human race, i beleive that we can be all we want, the people can be good or bad and is not about race, religion, nationalities, skin color… I always try to not judge nobody because if i do it i can loose a very great oportunity of learn a lot of things and teach another, life is more beautiful when you aware you know a lot of diferent people and learn about new cultures, can be very funny and interesting always remember keep the respect by the other, then just go away and take your chance don’t be afraid :-)
Hello,
I am a teacher of theatre and English. It is my job to help students to start seeing with new perspectives so that they can be productive individuals. In other words, help them to be confident to change their minds if need be. To do this, I teach my theatre kids my version of “the viewpoints” which are basically some of Paulo’s lessons learned and shared in his book “THE PILGRIMAGE,” only “the viewpoints” are taught using the stage as the world. It works!!!
The English year (16 year-olds) starts out with the class reading and intently discussing THE ALCHEMIST. I teach the kids that a book can be simple but deep, and that they have to look deeply into themselves to gain the immense spiritual value found within THE ALCHEMIST. My students love this book!!! So do I?
Today as I was closing class, I told them just a little about the beginning of VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE. The kiddies were hooked!
PAULO, WHEN IS “VERONIKA” COMING TO THE WESTERN UNITED STATES? I have and will have viewers at ready!!!
I am trying to “Pay it Forward” after having learned so much from you and your books. This girl’s mind is open for change and new adventures.
Love and warmth to all,
Lainee
thank you Lainee for sharing your experiences in your class.
it really sounds interesting and fun.
i am particularly interested in the viewpoints, what is it?
The Pilgrimage is my favorite and i read it numerous time. but i do not know what viewpoints are…i guess it means changing your minds…?
love
chieko
prejudices on book? often. I can’t help but to judge the book by it’s cover. But when it comes to the Author that I like, I wouldn’t care much what people say, I’d buy them and enjoy reading them to the last pages. :)
On people thou, I’m the kind of person who would want to spend time/ take my own time getting to know someone before determining whether or not they are as everyone said (no matter what people say, good/bad) cuz i believe every single person is who they are because of what they’ve been through and what they are preparing themselves to experience. Their attitude towards life and others has a lot to do with their surrounding and what they are familiar with. So yeah, I don’t like having prejudices towards anyone, even though they might take my sincerity to their advantage (if it turns out they are as what people said).
PREJUZGAMOS, ERROR QUE COMETEMOS POR CREER LO QUE ESCUCHAMOS Y POR DEJARNOS LLEVAR POR LA APARIENCIA DE ALGO O ALGUIEN, DEBEMOS DARNOS TIEMPO PARA PROBAR Y COMPROBAR LO QUE SEA DE NUESTRO INTERÉS Y PODER FORMAR UNA OPINIÓN PROPIA…A MI ME DECÍAN “PARA QUE ESCRIBES EN EL FACEBOOK DE PAULO COELHO ES IGUAL DE INDIFERENTE QUE LOS DEMAS PERSONAJES IMPORTANTES” AFORTUNADAMENTE DECIDÍ PROBAR Y COMPROBAR Y HEME AQUÍ DISFRUTANDO DE TUS ENSEÑANZAS DE VIDA POR MEDIO DE TUS LIBROS, COMENTARIOS Y REFLEXIONES.
DISFRUTO MUCHO CUANDO NOS HABLAS POR MEDIO DE VIDEOS, SIENTO QUE ESTÁS AQUÍ EN MÉXICO EN UNA CHARLA DE AMIGOS,GRACIAS POR EL TIEMPO QUE NOS DEICAS A TUS FANS….TE ADMIRO MUCHÍSIMO..CON CARIÑO… MARÍA PATRICIA.
Thank God, I’ve been able to share opinions and have friends of different religions,and this fact has made understand that “God is too big to fit into one religion” (i saw this quote on a Ricky Martin’s t-shirt), and that noone is the owner of truht.So I’ve learned that is much better to learn about other religions rather that just criticize them or judge people for their beliefs.
I think I make my own opinion about people and things now. But indeed it happens words are spell…
So I can’t tell by now, until I’ll meet the person involved.
But even hate could enter my heart sometimes because of some lines I could read here and there, or words I could hear, I can’t be full of hatred anymore about people and things I don’t know well.
If I dislike people it is just for their behaviour, but most of it, since my heart tells me more than my brain about. I can be angry, doubtful, but hater, I don’t think so.
Though it happened! Hate could be a disguised or unavowed love.
Light!
well, I know I have my prejudices: to someone I prejudice too much; to me, someone does the same: the best way to work on it (I think) is to EXPRESS your opinion.
“Changing your mind…”
I have changed my mind many times in my life. The most memorable was when I decided to leave the convent! I had been there for 15 years and had made permanent commitments (vows). It took me 3 years to reach my decision, but I didn’t tell anyone until a few months before.
When the news came out, people bombarded me with criticism. My family said they would disown me (which they did)! “What will people think?” they said, “Life in the convent is more secure!” A lot of people said that after all that time, I would never make it on my own in the world! The harshest criticism came from the Congregation and they did all in their power to make me feel guilty. “Think of all the good you could be doing…God won’t love you any more!” The final straw came when they accused me of using the Congregation to finance my studies !
Anyway, I went ahead with my decision. Although my journey since then has been tough at times, I have never regretted following my conscience, because in doing so, I found myself and my inner freedom and I wouldn’t swap that for anything!
You are an inspiration.
Alex
Thank you, Alex Sandra, for taking the time to read my post…I was just doing what I thought had to be done!
Take care,
Theresa
Its just amazing that they actually say things like that! “God won’t love you anymore!” How do they come up with those conclusions!!!
Must have been a big change for you though, to leave the convent after 15 years, good for you you followed your heart
Love
Thank you, Marielle,for your reply.
Until this day, I am still wondering how they came to those conclusions! I think they were trying to threaten me, in order to persuade me to change my mind as they had been training me for a mission.
Yes, of course it was a big change for me at first as I found myself alone in London. Fortunately, I had found a good job, so I threw myself into it! One great consolation was that I could have a long sleep at the weekends instead of getting up at 5am for meditation!
Love, Theresa
ps. Marielle…I haven’t got anything against meditation it’s only the 5 am which annoys me !!!
Dear Theresa, that must have been absolutely shocking.. from the convent, straight into London all by yourself. Off course… God looked after you.
And agree; meditation is GREAT! But fully agree that 5 am is just … a bit…just a bit… tooooo early :)
I used to have this job for the past 5 years, working in a hotel, and when I had the early shifts it meant starting at 6:45. Meaning getting up at 5:15. And with a bit of bad luck there were complaining guests waiting for me as I walked in, all grumpy with a morning mood as well. Horror.
Never ever got used to getting up at that hour, and when my shift ended around 4 I was still just as tired as if I just got out of bed.
Anyway, am happy for you!
Love,
Mariëlle
Dear Theresa,
You probably felt like any married couple who decides to divorce too. The struggle to give up something one once believed so strongly, but later simply changes.
Ops, dinner here …have to run…sorry :)
LOve,
Heart
Dear Heart,
I hope you enjoyed your dinner! Yes, you are right it is similar to a couple getting a divorce, and in divorce, there are often children involved which complicates it even further. These decisions are never easy, but must be taken, all the same. Many people face challenges, but we must all try to use them as a means of personal growth. I read somewhere else on the blog about the social work you are doing. There is a real need for people to do this kind of thing in the world.
Take care and may God bless your work,
Love, Theresa
What an interesting story, thanks so much for sharing it
Thank you, Rosa for your reply to my story about when I changed my mind! Nice to hear from you.
Love, Theresa
Courageous heart … am inspired …
Love
Hanan
Thank you, Hanan, for reading my story and for your kind words.
I felt that I had to follow my conscience, come what may.
Take care,
Love, Theresa
Dear Theresa, thank you for sharing your story.
Every human being is born FREE. Others make us ‘prisoners’ and the crimes committed by people IN THE NAME OF GOD and FOR THE FEAR OF GOD have created vast unhappiness in the World.
GOD IS LOVE. I am never afraid of HIM. I am really scared of the EVIL that resides in people’s hearts and minds: the shadows that try to cover the LIGHT. But wherever there IS Light, EVIL is dissolved.
Be Happy, FREE and FLY.
God bless you always.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Dear Thelma, thank you for your inspiring reply to my post.
We are all on a quest for love, happiness and freedom. God protects us from evil. Sometimes we have to go through a long dark tunnel but God is always waiting for us at the other end with his light and love.
God bless you,
Love, Theresa
Dear Theresa, even if God wouldn’t love you (what a stupid way to convince you otherwise!!!), we would, as also anyone that would get to know yuou <3, Thank you for sharing such an intimate story..you are very very courageous
Love and Graditude
Annie
Thank you, dear Annie, for your kind words.
When they said “God won’t love you anymore.” I was really shocked, but at that moment I understood their motives in saying so.
I think it just goes to show, how far people will go, when they want something ! It made me more determined than ever !
Love and blessings,
Theresa
I hate the words “what will people think” – who cares what people think, they should mind their own business. I have this battle with my mother sometimes and I love her to death.
It was good that you made an honest decision. There is no point being a nun if your heart is not in it. I don’t believe God likes people who do things for appearances sake.
Good for you.
Dear Kathleen,
Thank you for your reply giving an interesting perspective on my story.
“There is no point in being a nun if your heart is not in it.”
This was precisely my point. I went through that long period of doubt and self-examination and I came to the conclusion that my heart was not in it and that if I continued I would be living a lie! This made me feel guilty and I felt that if I stayed, my heart would wither and die! Once I felt that, I had to get out.
Take care of yourself,
Love, Theresa
Hi Theresa,
I understand what you would have gone through for I too had to face somewhat similar discouraging stand of the Church, when I married a Hindu. Here, in India, religious borders are very strong. The Catholics here who were converted by the Portuguese are staunch and treat all other religions as fake. When I decided to marry a Hindu, and Christianity, I was told things like, “Jesus would not love you,” “You are betraying the true God,” and things like that. You may feel mixed marriage is no big deal, but in small towns in India it is a very big deal. If you are a girl, its a bigger deal.
My father had taught me not to be prejudiced and I grew up listening stories of various mythologies and stories from the holy texts of several religious.
He also encouraged me to follow my heart. Hence, like other parents he did not insist me on becoming a doctor or engineer. In fact, I was influenced by the people around me and wanted to be an engineer. My Dad knew my heart better than me and asked me to pursue humanities. I didnt care and began to prepare for engineering entrance, and as he expected I fared very bad.
Instead of being angry he told me to choose the subjects in which I would be comfortable and I chose literature.
He died before the battles in my life began. After his death, all the people around me were prejudiced who wanted me to take up a clerks job in a government office, which they thought was best for me and “secure.” My mom was influenced by them wanted me to be secure since I had become the bread winner.
I kind of ran from home, not exactly, but fooled them and came to the city. I coudn’t pursue my studies to fulfill my dream of getting into something related to writing.
I had to make ends meet, so I worked in a call centre in Bangalore. The work got on my nerves for that was not what I wanted to do. At that time, I happened to read the Alchemist, which inspired me to take another chance.
I walked into a newspaper office and said I wanted to be a reporter. I had no formal education in journalism. Maybe the universe conspired with me and the editor took me as an intern and promised a job if I performed well. I worked for two months without any pay, but lived on the little savings that i had. After that I was a staff reporter and was paid as much as those from reputed journalism schools.
After being a full time journalist for two years, I have taken another chance. I have left my job, married a Hindu and live in a desert village. Now, I am pursuing my dream of being a writer. I pray the universe conspires with me again.
Love,
Savie
Hi Savie,
Thank you for your reply. I was very interested to hear the story of the struggles and challenges you have been through in following your dreams. Yes, religious prejudice is often very difficult to deal with, but I think when we are faced with it, we must remain true to ourselves in order to overcome it.
It has been a long road for you and I admire your grit and determination. It’s nice to see that you, like many others, have found inspiration from The Alchemist. I am happy that you have found a period of calm in your life. May God bless you and may your dreams of being a writer be fulfilled. Looking forward to seeing you on the blog again soon.
Love, Theresa
My dear Theresa,
You are such an inspiration. At the moment, I’m just about to take a “U-turn” in my life. Leave my career and all the convenience behind and decide to share more time with my kids, start doing my artwork, etc. which never been tried before.
Reading your post make me believe (again) my strength…I know the journey will be tough, but I’m sure it will enjoyable :)
Love, Offie.
Dear Offie,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sorry to take so long to get back to you. Circumstances I couldn’t change! I was very interested to hear about your decision to share more time with your kids. I don’t want to start a huge debate about working mothers but personally I prefer to see mothers at home and I am always getting into ‘arguments’ about this point! Of course each woman has her own particular set of circumstances and she is free to make her own choice. I am sure you have given this a lot of thought and I admire the fact that you are making genuine sacrifices. Having been involved in Education for a long time I can guarantee you that these sacrifices will not be in vain. It will also be nice for you to have time to be actively involved in your artwork.
Good luck with everything and may God bless your life.
Love, Theresa
Dear Theresa,
Thank you for sharing your spirit.
GBU, too!
Big hug from Indonesia :)
predujices?
well i had a hard time liking my stepmother in the long run… and it wars more than me just being a stubborn daughter. But just within a year or me deciding that i really shouldn’t have given her 80% a go… rather 200% a go.. and she dumped my father in a cruel way.
SO i figure, i half had changed my mind.
O diário de Um Mago, me fez ter vontade de fazer o Caminho de Santiago mas o Alquimista mudou meu olhar sobre a Vida, os prismas pelos quais a olhamos. Sempre te admirei. Minha primeira opinião mudou mas mudou para ainda melhor. Tive este problema de ser quase ridicularizada na adolescência quando dizia que o Petit Prince – li na Aliança Francesa – tinha aberto minha mente para a existência de um novo Mundo. O Mundo Espiritual. Isso, na década de 60, aos 13, 14 anos, era absurdo. Este era o livro que todas as misses diziam ter lido. Mas eu banquei minha opinião, a despeito da opinião dos outros. O Profeta tb. Foi tb onde pela primeira vez, ouvi que nossos filhos não são nossos mas sim, do mundo. Te admiro profundamente. Abçs
Paulo, Very intriguing question. It seems that I have changed my mind many times and do so continuously. The more we learn and experience in our own lives, the more we question our previous conceptions of the world. I think PEOPLE are the thing that I have most changed my mind about. The more we can empathize with another person’s life experiences the less we can judge. This may be why we need to keep an OPEN mind and why learning and experience trump old beliefs. Oh and yes, I have changed my mind about MYSELF many times too.
the masculine gender has always been a figure of power and straightness so that´s why he/she has always been associated to this gender, most of us prefer to call God with Him for respect …Thank u .
Ahh! I love the thoughts & memories this brings back Mr. Coelho!!
My mother always told me to read “To Kill A Mockingbird” and I always would tell her “I don’t want to read that OLD book, it’s not cool, etc. etc.” and I also was assigned to read “The Old Man and The Sea” amoung other titles but didn’t want to read it because a friend had told me it was boring and that I would hate it.
In both situations, after I gave them a chance and read them, I loved them. Both were wonderful stories with amazing life lessons that I cherish to this day.
In “The Old Many And The Sea” I still recall the feeling of being profoundly heartbroken for Santiago. We all have had something in our grasp and tried desparately to hold on to it, whether it be love, hate, money, ideals, people, fame, envy etc. the list goes on and on. The life lesson about struggle and holding on was right there in a simple novella that I might have missed because I was “holding on” to what others had said and the conclusions they came to.
Even though we prejudge, I think eventually there comes a point where we want to experience and decide for ourelves or a situation presents itself and you are forced to make your own inference whether you like it or not.
I thankful that I changed my mind to this day…
A QUESTION:
WHY DO YOU USUALLY WEAR BLACK???
JAJAJA
KISSES!!!♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪
GABRIELA.
♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪
it is easy
I agree with …. black, it matches with everything and with our …. bad mood, sometimes! ;-] Black lets the ‘face and eyes’ shine!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Well, mostly I was wearing black or red. They elegant. But once I have read witches wear that colours…I dont know. Should I laugh on it?
EaSY to CHoosE -> CHEESY :D -> colour of the sun -> Sun -> You are wearing the Sun Paulo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(black is just a name :D )
Love and Graditude
Annie
Some colored clothing also will look handsome!!! jaja ;)
Love,
Gaby
If I would wear all in black I’d look depressed, maybe sick, but dangerous. And if it is a black dress it makes me look hot.
So I just keep black away from my face and often wear red or white blouses.
I might start being annoying on this but I wanted to say that black looks great on Virgo. Which is Paulo’s horoscope’s sign. That might explain something.
Love
Olta
I barely ever wear black. I love colour. I’m childish like that.
Es bastante común que la gente tome las cosas, las personas, las situaciones con ciertos prejuicios… esto se debe a preconceptos inlusive al miedo que nos genera lo desconocido. Cuando nos enfrentamos a lo nuevo o desconocido, es en ese momento en que uno toma conciencia de la realidad.
Es una de las tantas formas de aprender, me parece, lo ideal sería no tener preconceptos.
Y es parte de la mentalidad y las ideas, lo bueno es aprender a permitirnos que las cosas fluyan solas, enfrentarlas y conocer a los demás tal cual son.
Cuando tengo una duda, intento preguntarle a la otra persona y evitar una idea errónea.
Todo forma parte de aprendizaje.
Un beso, Paulo
Me encantó verte en el video (sigo ejercitando mi inglés) ♫♪ ♫♪
♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪♫♪ ♫♪
The Prince and The Prophet are masyterpieces – these are two books , I ll alway gift them- i think everyone deserves to read them . I am glad you read them
for me , I used to always judge books by their covers or first few lines for that matter – i would quickly lose interst – not aware of hat I might be mssing – some of the most amazing people ho are now very close friends – I didnt care much for them at the begining – it was only when if ound myself in situations that I had to interact with them – that i realized what I ve been missing -
r blockages,even the small ones that people not notice about.I ve found in these days how much the language is being distortioned…people forget daily the simply things,actions,emotions,thoughts that take them to abundance,joy,happiness… It s really a slow process to touch their hearts for them to remember we r just Humans having a life experience, Souls full of magical powers that we don t discover cause we daily choose to live with prejudices..Most times they r a projections of ourselves to others.& i believe a FOCUS point should b in language,how we express,how we construct our expressions, we r sending thoughts energy when we do that,and we r mostly,never COUNSCIUOS about it,we just open our mouth and speak…
People read daily nice phrases that make them think about sth,as u share here..but in an instant they forget,they don t learn or have a reflection,counsciously,they r always “in a rush time”….How the world can become better if we don t act like Humans Beings, instead of humans doing???…..
I change my mind all of the time. Sometimes it is out of fear and I think that well meaning people want you to be cautious but sometimes they instill fear and I don’t do well with fear. I want to travel to teach children English in latin countries and I don’t ever go because I am afraid I will sick or I will get hurt or a million other things. My family says things that generalize the culture especiallly if it is a third world country. There are just too many things to think about all of the time. I use to celebrate Thanksgiving and now I don’t. There is a documentary on PBS “We Shall Remain” and it talks about what really happened to the Native American Indians. I am Navajo on my mother’s side of the family and even though I just feel like I cannot want to celebrate the killing of so many innocent people. I am thankful that I have the ability to change my mind. If I didn’t I would still be celebrating thanksgiving and hopefully someday I will be teaching english in another country to the children and maybe the people who are doing bad things can change their minds to do better…. paz y amor
I taught English in Peru and I don’t regret the experience. There’s tons of schools and NGO’s around that offer vacancies. I’ve been over there about a year and a half and there’s nothing to worry about if you just listen to the people’s advice and get a good travel guide. The best would be if you would be able to travel around once first to get a taste and afterwards see if you want to go and build a career there. The sights I saw and the experiences I had there greatly outdo the suffered inconveniences.
abrazzo
I question and challenge all the time. The problem is people accept what they are told without question.
It was Paul when warning of False Prophets said to not believe what was said, even what he said, but to go back to first principles, primary sources.
Look how people are mislead by the mainstream media, which simply regurgitates the political agenda. Look at how people are manipulated into following the latest fashions, buying unwanted consumer crap, hanging on the every word of so-called celebrities who have nothing worthwhile to say, so ably illustrated in Paulo’s latest novel The Winner Stands Alone.
I decide what I will read. I certainly am not influenced by the view of reviewers who generally talk a load of clap-trap. I listen to what Paulo says, I listen to what my lovely friend Alissa says as it was she who recommended I read works by Orhan Pamuk. People follow my suggestions on reading.
I have not read The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran I have though dabbled in Jesus. Only the day before I was reading this week’s thought I was reading selected passages from Jesus to my friend Sian.
Often the image I have been given of people is not that what I form when I meet them. Too often what is happening is the projection of an agenda, not the telling of the truth.
Too many people allow themselves to be directed by others, even directed in the way they feel, rather than thinking for themselves, taking the path less trod.
http://www.heureka.clara.net/art/the-road-not-taken.htm
We no longer have mass produced goods, we have mass produced thoughts, picked up and plugged into our brains.
The opportunities are there, but how many follow the path of Santiago, learn to read the signs, grasp the opportunities that life presents. One such person who did was Tererai Trent, who from humble origins in Zimbabwe managed to obtain a PhD.
http://keithpp.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/a-story-to-inspire-all-of-us/
Few people strive for the Truth, they take the easy way out with their mass produced thoughts.
If people did start to think for themselves, we would see variety, we would see colour, not the monochrome monoculture of corporate diktats, that tell us how to think, what to eat, what to wear, even the music we should listen to.
Looking at it from a somewhat different perspective, my thoughts on twitter are occasionally re-tweeted, so I must occasionally have something worthwhile to say!
Keith,
I once did a project on the effect of the media with regards to the war in Iraq. The conclusion was generally that people would have the same opinions as the newspaper they read. If they read a certain newspaper, they were more likely to agree with the war and if they read another they would disagree, depending on the newspapers viewpoints (and of course political stance.) Of course, the argument could be that people chose the newspapers because they agreed with the headlines, but either way, they were more likely to have the same opinions as the newspaper on other issues also.
It is also the same in many cases within families. The influences are also there with religion, football teams, music, books, education etc. It gets passed on from generation to generation.
‘Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.’ Albert Einstein
Alex
p.s. I have read many of your reviews and I think your work is very interesting.
The Beach Boys! My father hated the Beach Boys. He thought they were square. That became my opinion also.
Recently I started listening to “Pet Sounds” which is now critically accepted thus “okay” to like. That album led me to their earlier songs, which in the past I had dismissed as naive and superficial.
Now I hear clear beauty and harmonic angels converging! People in my circle are very pro-intellectual and hate anything that is simple and direct. That is a barrier to happiness and wonder, IMO.
Melle
There is only 1 thing I never change my mind about in life. The rest is details.
Prejudice just mean to pre judge. Get to know someone before you think you know them.
Hi Paulo….I have been trying to think since yesterday about this theme….I am trying to remember time when I changed my mind….but cant for now…I must admit I am the kind of person who if someone tells me something isnt much good then I just have to go find out for myself. I tend to go my own way and not be influenced…..But i am sure there must have been at least one occasion when I have changed my mind…I will keep thinking during the week….
love to you Paulo ..xxx
Dear Paulo,
Thanks for allowing us to vent our feelings through your previous post. It was an interesting exercise because I was able to see my weaknesses and prejudices. I was also able to steer away from your wing and go search what else is out there on the internet and I must tell you I’ve been following the signs and of course my intuition. I’ve been praying for God to allow what comes from him to influence my life, mainly because a couple of times I noticed people mentioned being scared of you because of your ideas (my mother language is Spanish and so I can understand Portuguese to an extent). A friend of mine once told me that our connection with God is so strong that if our faith is strong our spirit cannot be influenced by others than God or what comes from him.
Have a blessed life and continue with your path to the light and keep on lighting up the lives of those who come in contact with you.
Love, Peace and Wisdom
Monica
Prejudices stem from ignorance. We’ve all been there at some time or another. Once we understand and respect different cultures and religions our prejudices become less. Also we mellow as we get older
This reminds me Shrek saying “people judge me before they even know me”. They do. We do. everything what’s fluffy is nice, everything slippery is disgusting.
Some prejudices come from our society where we grow up (poor man/rich man; educated/not educated; married/not married), some prejudices are from ancient times (women vs men; matriarchy vs patriarchy) and most destructive prejudices come from religion (to hate someone just because he is from another religion). We all life study and change opinion. To pass true prejudices is very important we to learn to Think!
Hi Paulo, prejudice is somthing a state of mind when you think or believe a person or a society or something known or unknown can actually harm you, in weaker societies like ours in India this is actually true.
Personally I do not subscribe to this tough.!!
I had many prejudices regarding books, music & the way of life. At some period in my life-especially early teens, I agreed with “general beliefs” and followed them. But later on, at the end of high school, light turned on in my head. I attended catholic high school & I had to do a project about wisdom books of Old Testament. That was the trigger moment, which opened the whole new world to me. I realized I walk alone and that there are many false prejudices around me. and also a lot of hipocrisy. I started to experience a world in a new way & didnt let others people beliefs control my life. On the way, there are wonderful and painful moments… but both are mine experience, from which I develop my own view of all.
I also thought “The little prince” was silly and childish,when I first met with it. It is really a masterpiece. but to see it is a great work.. I had to move past my prejudices about it.
When I was 16 I met a friend of my parents whom I did not like. He looked like a hippy with messy clothes and unkept hair. He spoke of vague things in a soft voice. Thankfully I got the chance to meet him again and again, and I started seeing his kindness, his wisdom, his inner peace. I grew to like him very much. I am grateful I knew him, he taught me to be more open and not judge too quickly. To look past my predjudices.
i have been more of a victim of that kind of thinking, one friend told me how someone said that i was a bad girl, one of those wayward thinking people, i am confused, and stupid and so she refrained from talking to me, and in the last year of school, we somehow became friends, we…i guess were partners then, sat next to each other, that was a rule in my school to sit with the given partner, to sit in an orderly manner in the class, so she then told me that she’d never talk to me because of that what she’d heard, i wasn’t wayward thinking, i needed love(i was masochistic btw, only she knew about it, she deserved it, such a beautiful soul), someone to see through me, i wasn’t confused, i didn’t know how to express myself and i wasn’t bad i was just…misjudged, i love that girl…lost contact but i know she loves me too, i know she must think of me someday, its so beautiful…being loved…and to love unconditionally, and, never if anybody reads this, never judge anybody and go on talking bad things for no reason, (which is called gossip generally), that hurts so bad, really, so i hate tags, they’re of no use, just love n live, anyways, tc everybody, love u, god bless…and, keep loving n living, don’t judge.don’t hate, if u do, ask yourself why? introspect.
xoxoxoxo
Usually I make an effort not to get involved with what other people might think of something.
Really thought about it, but can’t really think of any examples where I did end up not doing something because others said something negative about it. Rather the other way around: if everybody says something is bad/horrible/not nice, I might have the tendency to DO it instead of leave it. Depending on who said it and if I want to piss them off.
But I do have it happening the other way around quite often; I think somebody or something is really great. And later on find out he/she/it is not at all! For example ex-boyfriends :)
Love
I would hope that today – most people realize that “hate” is just reflection on themselves. It doesnt truly exist – as intangible as thought. An illusion -we “think” it and therefore believe it. Its the language we hear in our minds that bring the illusion to this realm.
In that process – if we can change the perception of the language we hear we can fade the outcome to a positive influence.
Stay mindful of your thoughts.
When I was younger I always was convinced that something was either right or wrong. I had a hard time understanding the fact that sometimes things are not as black and white as they appear to be or as you think they should be. I have learned and I have had to learn that between black and white there are numerous shades of grey. I used to “hate” people that in my opinion could not make up their mind. I considered them to be wishy-washy, not able to stand up for what they believed and therefore in my opinion “weak”, “back-boneless”, not worth trusting as they did not take a stand point and could blow with whatever wind was blowing. Now years later (not that I am that old ;) )I understand that indeed some people don’t ever take a stand point and do blow in whatever directions they think people expect them to blow, BUT there are people who are able to take a stand point, who are very aware of who they are and what they stand for without being black and white. There are people that understand the nuances of some delicate issues and who understand that there is not always one right answer. Things are not always either black or white, good or wrong. I don’t “hate” these kind of people anymore. In fact I am happy they have thought me that in between black and white there is grey. Moreover, there are different shades of grey. Obviously because of my character I still feel the need to get clear cut answers and views, but I realise there is no need to mistrust or “hate” every person that is not black and white.
Solo podría decir que tuve que entender que por mis propios prejuicios y un tanto de los demás, elegí dejar de ser y hacer lo que a mi me gustaba… pero entendí que esa no era yo, sino eran solo los mil espejos de lo que los demás querían que yo fuera…
No todo lo que la sociedad juzga como malo, en realidad lo es… por esos prejuicios no somos libres.
Creo que sería importante abrir más nuestro pensamiento para darnos cuenta que hay muchas cosas que podemos conocer antes de tomar la decisión de juzgar o rechazar a alguien por su forma de ser, más aun cuando de entrada no lo conocemos verdaderamente, pues muchas veces precisamente por su forma de ser o de pensar nos negamos la oportunidad de conocer a una persona de quien podemos aprender grades cosas…. y todo esto es por nuestros prejuicios.
Saludos Paulo!!!!
In my opinion it is absolutely hard to change their minds for people, that are less self-critical,less self-thinking, and bad educated.
I use to have prejudices against Turkish people. I am of greek origins and was raised in Greece. Through out my childhood, at school, at home and from my direct and indirect society, learned how to hate them and why…. i have to admit athought that those feelings of prejudice were coming from the mind 9even though I knew that this ‘nation’ have killed millions of my ancestors and that my great great grandparents were slaves to them and that my grandparents survived a genocite they caused back in 1919) and not from the heart…
Ten years ago I migrated to UK and had the oportunity to meet few Turkish people and later on live with them in the same house! They were all wonderful both the ladies and the men. And dispite my prejudices and theirs we gave to each other the chance to understand that after all we are so much alike…
Hi! I’m first time here.
Well there are many examples of prejudices, especially in my country, Serbia. There are one singer, Jelena Karleusa, who is very scandal-girl and because of that she is very unloved on Balkan. But then I listen some of her songs, watch some talk shows, after that I understand that she is not stupid as most of thought, she is just not understood.
And now, despite I don’t listen that kind of music, I love to dance with her music, and to have a lot of fun! :)
Do i exist if i have no opinion? i notice we like to define each other by opinions. (he is liberal because he thinks such n such, she is fashionable because she has some opinion…) but what if i have no opinion at all ? what is your opinion of someone who has no opinion … lol
My prejudice: Sex without emotional attachments, American hook-up culture. I don’t get it and never will… and my mind has not changed on that. It is very strange to me. However, I believe live and let live so people can do what they want but I would rather not participate. Peace.
contradiction – to claim to have no opinion, as You are here, is even an opinion. Everyone has opinions. Lol
you like best macaroni ‘ n cheese, or a pizza?? is this not an opinion?? even at the least important things, I bet you do have an opinion!
Love and Graditude
Annie
I really really have no opinion for the most times. Call me a potato :)
One video from “Le Petit Prince” musical:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbe2FmflzVw
This VIDEO is the answer for this week conflicting quote!
OUR HEART ONLY can judge the difference between the true and false love!NO OTHER!
For me, the love without passion can NOT be true love! :-)
WARNING!!! Passion does not mean compassion! ;-) :-D
Ralph McTell Streets of London
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctb-SrwL884
I usually had different opinions about rich people, because i knew people that was so vain in compare whit poor people about themselves. But in the course of life I knowing people so kind who don´t mind being rich…
I had different prejudices about it.
Avoid prejudging is allowed to know the other.
Hi Paulo, Hi everybody,
It’ s a very nice subjet. I’m french so i’ll try to be clear :-)
“Prejudices”. I had so many prejudices when i met my …husband for the first time !! I thought that he was high-toned, superficiel…i din’t like him at all ! why ? i don’t know !
On day, i was very sad because of love story so complicated. He simply gave me his hand… and now we are married since 7 years…
Love
Hola Paulo,
Realmente nuestro prejuicios a las cosas muchas veces están influenciados por las personas. Porque uno tiende a depender de la opinión de los demás. Cuando tuve que tomar la decisión de lo que iba a estudiar en la universidad a la primera persona que le consulte que hacer fue a mi hermano y el me dijo estudia biología. A pesar de que conseguí entrar por biología mis amistades me decían: por que estudias eso? A principio esas opiniones no me ayudaban porque me puse en la mente que la biología no era para mi y cada vez que iba a tomar una clase me decía a mi misma pero que difícil eso no es para mi y no me gusta. Hasta que hubo una clase que me hizo cambiar de opinión, gracias a un gran profesor que estimo mucho y ahora me estoy especializando en microbiología.
Con el tiempo uno se da cuenta que lo importante es no anticiparse a las cosas y ejercer una opinión de algo que uno no ha comprobado. Mas aun que uno se da cuenta de que lo que le guste a uno no le va a gustar a otra persona.
Un abrozo,
Sylvia Enid
Hola Buenos Dias
Hoy hablando de prejuicios, recuerdo que hace unos dias tenia un conflisto interno connmigo misma, vi a una sra en mi opinion muy mal vestida y su manera de expresarse , segun yo no era la mas adecuada, al mismo tiempo mi conciencia me decia que no debia jusgarla y sentì mucha pena con migo misma, por que no debia estar pensando esas cosas de una mujer que seguramente tiene mucho valor como persona y no debia jusgarla, por su manera de vestir o por educacion, desafortunadamente en nuestros paises latinoamericanos, las oportunidades de eduacion a veces son limitadas por la pobreza, ese dia me senti mal porque no me gusta gusgar a las personas, el problema es que es algo dificil de dejarlo de hacer, ME GUSTARIA SABER COMO HAGO PARA DEJAR DE HACERLO, CONCIENTE E INCONCIENTEMENTE?
GRACIAS
My dad always taught me one thing…. That I should never beleive in something or do something because he is saying so.. whatever I do in life should be because I want to do… He asked me to apply my reasoning in everything that I am doing…
- Nidhi
when you truly know
that you don´t know
your mind is in a constant flow.
and all you only need is still
what the present moment will.
simply&easily
So beautiful and true that is!
I believe that hating others is also hating yourself. Prejudices and hatred is usually a mirror on your own insecuritees , ignorance/fear or unsolved isssues. And often just moving you astray from what really matters.
When facing time in prison,I lived together with many murdereres,bankrobbers, molesters, ect. My first thougth was not to have prejudices against anybody ( they were alreay judged ,and Who was I to judge anybody, when I was a convict myself)
Offcourse I did anyway. But the more I got to know people and their life-stories, the more I realised that nothing is black and white. None of theese ladies were really bad people. Merely victims of really bad circumstances, lifes, parents, husbands ect..
( off course im not talking about not taking responsability for your actions)
I even ended up having hearts to heart theurapeutical conversations w the one who had done the worst of all. And i do belive that no one , in their soul, Are truely bad or mean- just lost..
The more you focus only on the black or white, the more you move yourself away from all the true and beautifull colours of the universe.
<3
yes.., your example shows me that life can use every thing, every situation for the good of all when one is openhearted, openminded.
thanks for sharing.
part of my way is i watched a few hundred criminal cases and learned, became sure there that no evil ppl are but misunderstandings.
while we´re at it i want to say that i think compulsion and punishment don´t help, don´t heal, never have and never will.
yet our belief in these forces is so strong. but it changes.
thank life, truth “is a great underground river that noone can
dam up and noone can stop.”
once there lived a folk that listened to the unique song a new born brought with it at birth. later on in life this song was sung to the person at special events and also when the person did something against the rules. isn´t this wonderful? so s/he was reminded of who s/he is..
love
A friend of mine once told me that,” Whenever you hate a person, there is a thing or two in him or her that you also hate about yourself.” Well, I do not really know where he got that but it actually hit me.
So maybe that is the reason why I grew up learning not to hate anyone around me because I truly love myself and that I always make it a point to appreciate each and every little positive thing that i see in a person or a thing, same goes within my own self.
I believe that hate is a superficial feeling, that one could actually get away with it and live life without hatred afterall.
I am a very optimistic person and this has helped me in handling people and things around me, after all, i do not really care how others think. So long as I know what I am doing is right and that I do not even care if my opinion would matter to others, so long as I could make a stand.
Everybody has prejudices. You hear things, you listen to other people’s storys. Of course that will be kept in your mind and do something with you, no matter if you want it or not. Recognizing prejudices as what they are, is what makes the difference.
I will never forget my mothers face 15 years ago when I told her that I was dating a Turkish guy. I could see all the horrible things she had heard about Muslims and Turks going round in her head. The whole Betty-Mahmoody-Story was coming up to her and she already saw me in a black long dress, covering my hair, my body, my personality.
But she did not say a single word! She waited until she met him for the first time and I could see her relief when she realized that he is not like that. Since then she met a lot of Turkish people, travelled to Turkey, fell in love with that country.
She is totally happy with her son-in-law and very proud of my little family.
As I am of her because she didn’t judge before making her own experiences.
And that is what makes the difference.
Beautiful, thanks Katja. To notice, is the key. To try to understand…
Four years ago, I was introduced by a common friend to a young man who had quite a reputation for his intellect and achievements in academia, in a room where people gather to study and discuss, loungingly, all topics under the sun — a gathering of inspired and inspiring young minds. This man was quite the epicentre of it all, and yet, I had no inclination to and in fact, resisted getting to know him better because a) I believed him to be arrogant because of his lauded intellect, and b) because he belonged to a geographical community that has been at war with mine and there is a great historical enmity between the two. One day, however, quite suddenly we discovered that we both are great admirers of T.S. Eliot and all of a sudden, we were talking to each other every day, all the time, online and on the phone. Over the next four years, he went on to become my best friend and my grand amour. We weathered many storms together and were able to attend to each other’s most profound pains, and it was beautiful and glorious.
Two months ago, my best friend, my beloved passed away quite suddenly. And although I am full of beautiful memories and his undying, pure love for me, I regret that my family never approved of him and never got to know him because of the prejudices that they were brought up with, prejudices that meant nothing in our love, but were difficult for them to overcome — they will never know what the world has lost, what I have lost.
Oh Anya, this is so sad. I can feel what you have lost, I can read it in every word and between the lines. And I can read that this relationship changed your life and that this was worth it.
Thanks for telling this story.
Thank you , Katja, for the kind words. It meant a lot to me that you could empathize. I am glad it turned out well for you, though.
I think, as a child, I allowed others to determine my opinions, but I have always been determined, as an adult, to decide for myself. I have deliberately raised my children to have faith in their own opinions, by never suggesting that my opinion is necessarily right and always trying to offer others, encouraging them to form their own.
Thank you, Paul, for your thought-provoking post and I have really enjoyed reading the comments too.
Dear Paulo Coelho,
I would like to say thank you for your books and the way you are thinking.
It help me so much in my life.
At the first I found in one library your book,”Alchemist” and i readed it with lots of interest,the way you think and write satisfide me so much and gave me inspiration to be so strong like a rock in this life and never give up.I completely agree that difficulty is only word and I was keen to read your comment about it.
Kind Regards,
Ineta
Growing up I was bought up to believe u had 2 plan the future & 4 the future. So I did-only I spent my childhood and adolescents planning to be someone I never became. Now I am 30 & look back with a sense of devastating sadness. I am now focused on re-energising myself. I am doing what I should have done 20 years ago …learning about myself. My advise is: live in the moment, experience everything you can & be you in every version of yourself no matter what. You cannot control your future, but you can control how you feel now. I don’t remember much of my teenage years most probably coz I don’t recognise myself. I must admit that I am grateful for those experiences coz it is those hardships which has comvinces me to use energy and the power of The Secret be accepting of me with all my flaws.
I really recommend reading the book “Thought Contagion” by Aaron Lynch. It delves deeply into the concept of memes, upon which most prejudice is built in the final analysis. Blessings…
I agree with this thing about opinion – you have to have you own point of view, not because someone want to seen you thinking that way, but just because you really think so. Earlier I had some cases, when I agreed with smb just because I didn’t want to argue with him. Now I’d rather tell my truth, or say nothing.
Hello,
I Like reading you, and I find my self between you lines.
I have just one problem, I love writing, but I can’t go on, when I start someting,I let it down before I finish! I have all the ideas in my head but not structeured.
I want some advice, I want to be alive when I die! I wanna leave something behind me!
can you please help me!
start by finishing! One hundred bad stories, all first drafts will become one great story.
Hey Nawal,
try to find a ghostwriter, a lector, a co-writer. Somebody who helps you structuring your time and your work and who wants to see results.
Okay, I supposed you wanted advice from Paulo, but maybe my suggestion might be helpful too. :)
We change our mind, because we know better.
We change our mind, because we mature.
We change our mind, because we learn.
We change, when we transform.
When we see the bigger picture.
Love,
L.
for me it happens especially about movies: when a cinematographic critic says that a movie it’s good,I find out that it’s horrible and many times when he says it’s bad,I see the movie and a find out it’s wonderful! actually I think that it exists a general idea of what it can be good or bad but the real important thing I learned from this little experience it that each of us is the only person who can decide what to like and what to dislike! especially for people: if you are happy and you meet a person but you don’t trust him because it passed just few days and you ask a friend of your,you can have different answers: if your friend is not a true one,if he’s jealous he will say to you to not hang out with that person…at the contrary a good friend will say that you met a nice person and to hang out with him! the point is: the more we trust the person close to us,the most we won’t ask ourselves if this person is saying something wrong…we will trust him and maybe follow that advise! if we don’t trust the person we ask to,we won’t follow his advise…we always thing people we love have the right answer for evey question and we forget sometimes that we can face life just by ourselves!(maybe it’s something like a parent and his child: we need to be lead towards the best road and a child always believe that his parents know the answers for all!)
I have just had a phone-call from the bookstore : the ‘Warrior’s Life’ has just arrived in Cyprus. So be prepared, dear Paulo Coelho, to ‘change my mind’ about you!! I may start to … hate you, but maybe, I may love you more! YES AND NO!!! I am joking, of course.
I usually form my opinion about something or someone based on my … INUITION, which I think, is very reliable! First impression is also a good guide, because we are not .. prejudiced and there are no … afterthoughts, which are based on logic.
So I am … going to buy the book now.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
So Mamma is going tomorrow to the city to get it :D <3
Big Day ! :D
Love and Graditude
Swannie
No Swannie, I could not wait until … tomorrow!!
But we live in the middle of Limassol! I just took my car and …
I have just returned had a look and now I am checking my emails! You asked me the other day, dear Paulo Coelho, how I manage to be …. in every site all the time?? MAGIC!!!
I am just …. sitting all day here .. This is the reason my … Mozart was so bad!! No practice for two years now!1 But I feel happy being here in your Blog with all these wonderful people and you. I feel … fulfilled! God bless you all, my beautiful Warriors of the LIGTH.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Today!!! :D quick action!! :D
And your Mozart was magnificent!!!! please, do not say this again that it was bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was full of love flowing from these fingers and Love transforms anything and anyone into the BEST!
Love and Graditude
Swannie
I assure you, you don’t wanna hear My Mozart ;o) hehe <3
Dear Thelma,
Inuition must be an Eskimo’s survival kit…;-)
Love, Paul
Or the .. instinct of the … jungle, dear Paul!!!
Beware the big.. eats the smaller!!! ;-]
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
‘Beware the big.. eats the smaller!!! ;-]
It seems that after all I AM a Medium, dear Paul.
As a friend of mine told me once: You say things out of the blue, that … happen!
But the LAW says that injustices are going back to the sender.. seven times stronger! Magic. How to stop … Bad Karma? By sending only LOVE.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
The journey of my opinion.
when i was younger, i never had an opinion (tabula rasa;). So when my mother or friends took me out shopping for example, i did not care what i wanted to buy or wear.
But at some point in puberty, it became necessary to form an opinion. You have to think something of everything. It was like, when you don’t have an opinion, you are nobody…
So at that point, i think i started channeling other peoples opinions. First you start hurting people..
But after a while i think i got friends all over the world, because they all think i agree with them, although it is more like that i all understand them i think:)
I now defenitely feel and know for myself what is wrong or right, but i can also accept everybody for there own opinion.
The question is, do they realy know mine?;)
In my journey thus far I have changed my mind about Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland/Through The Looking Glass. Some years ago I didn’t love both these novels. BUT since my life has changed upside down, I say “Ah, that’s a great puzzle & return of Alice in a perfect ‘Hoax’!” (By the way, Hatter’s mad mind changed him so much that he can’t even trust himself.)
***
I’ve changed my mind about Michael Jackson (changed my negative frame of mind into a positive one). He really was a great singer and a great artist. Unfortunately, I discovered it just after his death (when played my Chess & listened to his “Black or White”).
***
When my dearest “Gharib” helped me to enter the “STRANGE house” of Paulo, I changed my mind about God. I do not love Him. I love Him more! As I saw there written on the wall: “Dei sub numine viget” –> Under God’s power she flourishes.
O Lucky Alice!
I dont like much Alice too, and think a friend called me that way…
But maybe is a period, or the version I saw. As I hated ScoobyDoo, or Hanah Montana. Now, after saw movie Scooby Doo, I love the cartoon too…At my age, dont know if is ok, but is fault of nephew and niece, kids, who watch tv and I must see them too…he he.
How funny! I was almost sure you didn’t like much AL-ice. Ahh…
BUT if the “ICE” melts, there remains just “AL”…exandra! It means: if you do not love/like HER, you do not love/like YOURSELF! How funny (again)!
Don’t we have to love ourselves in order to love someone else?
Alexandra, it’s time to change your mind! :))
Ok. I thought bit, and Alice is a cute girl. Is the other characters from the story I did not like much. Some of them…
Hope now is all fine. You know, Alice in cartoons has two …wait, is about her hair. will check the word. I mean when I was child I used to wear my hair just like Alice.
Hey
I feel I change my mind…
Asote you great
tc
I am glad about Michael Jackson, you know there is song about Annie of him??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9bxqSZjldM&feature=related
<3
Oh, these ’smooth criminals’ are the worse kind!
Love and Graditude my Honey Asote
Annie
You’re right. This is great song.
Especially I love two words of it: “Annie” and “Aaow!” :)
Why couldn’t I use “Aaow” every time I want to say “Crazy Love”? Hope it doesn’t sound too criminal.
Aaow! :)
Asote
Alexandra dear,
You may hate all characters of the novel (even Alice), except one – the Rabbit. It would make Alice very sad –> No Rabbit, no Wonderland.
:)
Love,
Ilva
Well, I tried to recall such cases but I found that I am quite the opposite kind of person (at least based on what I can recall)
The cases are no matter whether people told me “oh, you should read that book/see that movie, it’s super.” or “that book/movie is really a waste of time”, i tended to find out those items and saw them with my own eyes and went back to people to tell them what I really thought. (I guess this is because I really dislike (from time to time, hate) people tell me what to do or what to think as well as telling things they don’t actually see as their own experience)
Well, at a much younger age (like at my teens), I might dislike a book or a movie when i didn’t really have a thought on it just because everyone loved it, which were rare cases but it happened. Also, there was one case that I did read some book and didn’t like it but everyone around me was in love with it and the medias were creazy about it so I pretended I liked the book and even searched all the works that author wrote and read.
I was always a rational man.
My study in the medical field and my work in the field of medical research, only increased my point of view that every thing in the world can be dissected to small little units (questions/problems) and consequently, can be solved and understood by logic thinking..
I applied this point of view in every aspect of my life from work to private relationships..
It tooks me years of shocks and pain and losses to realize how wrong I was..
Yes, I changed my mind and my way of looking to life..
Now I know that our logic ego (though still a very valuable tool that we have) can explain somethings but in our private way that most of the times apply only to us..
Even in the most materialistic fields of science (if this really exists) there is always a wide margin of what cannot be looked at as mere simple mental equation (1+1=2).
By this huge turn in my way of looking to life, I didn’t stop the unexpected problems and dissapoitments to cross my way but I learned to take them as a part of life that sometimes add some spices to it..
Love,
Tarek
Great analyzes Tarek. Funny, recently I did one of these tests of my interests, and scored zero on being realistic! I knew I was an idealist, but not that bad. I think of myself as very down to earth, and LOVE nature. In work life however, it seems I’m more of one of the characters in Chagall’s floating around pictures, than a carpenter! So, what profession do I pick? :)
Love & admiration,
Heart
Nice you came to the right conclusion.
Take care
Hi Tarek, with your white doctor’s uniform! White is the opposite of Black and Lawyers always wear a … black gown, revealing their .. evil, material role in … solving problems!!! ;-]
Logic is a tool for rational thinking. But each one of us is unique and our way of understanding and sensing the World is unique too. The feeling of ‘loneliness’ and ‘isolation’ is the result. But there is HOPE: to expand our senses and become ONE; To break the walls that separate us. Intuition is stronger than .. logic and LOVE is our guide.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Thelma,
Isn’t your analysis of white being good, black being evil (in clothing of course) biased? Isn’t it’s application to doctor=good lawyer=evil also biased? Don’t forget that in the past, those who came up with the idea of eugenics and created genocides… they were doctors. Those people that defend rape and murder victims and prosecute the rapists and murderers…. they are lawyers. Nothing is black and white.
I understand the point of your message is to remind Tarek of love, but the irony was far to evident to pass up.
<3
Diyala
Thank you Diyala.
As you said everything includes the good and evil, the dark and light, as exist in the Worlds of separateness, in Creation. The Eternal Ανέσπερο, LIGHT has no… shadow.
White includes all colours and it is the Symbol of GOOD.
Black is the Symbol of BAD. In us good and bad, black and white co-exist as we are the MICROCOSMOS into the MACROCOSMOS. ‘As above so below’. The Good Fight is …to transform ourselves and become all white, beings of LOVE and LIGHT. Our heart is the battlefield and our … conscience is the … JUDGE. We create every minute our own World, Destiny and Karma. So are the …Bad doctors and the Good lawyers!! As you may know these two professions are the only professions they give Oath, before they start practising. If they keep them ….., this is another story.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Oh, how the meaning “rational” thinking is mading me out. When I first started to look at things rationaly I thinked that I was right, but in reality… I loosed some very fundamental emotions of interest and even enthusiasm. Now I want to get out of that “rational” hole.
Your analysis are right in 10/10 :)
God’s created so many kind of people. God’s also created couple to make life become balance. But, why still life’s unfair to me?
maybe when you stop seeing it us unfair, or you as a victim, you will see that you can make it more fair to you
Love and Graditude
Annie
to be truly honest I have to say that in case somebody forced some kind opinion upon me ( either good or bad ) about somebody /smth, then immediately the oppposite force in me arouses- a stubborn , maybe, better-knowing, or simply -let ’s see what experience I, myself can have with this person or occasion -may have, appears…in the end let’s be honest -who should or has to tell you what you should think
but I listen to everybody what he/she has to say and make my own decisions
I think I am often against things because there are people that are so extraordinarily impressed by it. Then I get cautious and suspicious: it can’t be so extremely great, or the person cannot be soooo extremely special (we are all humans).
but some people say that things we do not like in others we have ourselves and do not like to work on it or look at it. So, this kind of “dislike” is for me a warning flag now…
In the 70s & 80s, I did not like Andy Warhol because he was so crazy and sooo absolutely modern. then I saw prints he made of endangered animals and finally also some of his originals that just “blew me away” :o).
With Pedro Almodovar’s films! I once saw Carne Tremula for the first time, I had no idea who he was. I happened to like it. After time he became more popular, people would criticize his films, for being too raw or liberated, I started watching them and I love them! I think he’s amazing! And usually I believe that when things come from the heart, either they love it or they hate it, but they feel something strong, I think that’s amazing!
2 months ago i worked with someone of Marroco.
One of my colleagues was complaining about him and
he sad he was a useless person to working with him.
Suddenly i have to work with him and was a little bit
afraid for the confrontation with the Marrocain person.
During three weeks i worked toghetter with my Marrocain colleage.
We were a beatifull team,my fear for him was caused by the prejusdice
of my other colleague. The person in question has prejusdice about
his color and his religion.
And it was a nice experience to work with Erraji Fouad .
All the negativitie was wothless.We have not always to believe
what others are saying.
Buenaventura
This might be slightly off topic because a lot of people have stuck to talking about prejudices against books and authors – following on from Paulo’s original statement.
For me, one great change in thinking that I arrived at was that life is not about suffering. I think I had been brought up with the notion that we have to suffer greatly in order to reach our ultimate goal. I don’t think this is right. It is true that life throws us challenges and it can sometimes be difficult to attain things we want but suffering as a mantra for life is pretty crappy.
I am in the process of trying to change my thinking at present. I am trying to change my career – from academia to anything that is not academia. This is a career I have fallen into and while I have loved teaching at times, I have had some pretty awful experiences. I really want to move on to something else but it’s easy to just do the same old thing – it’s a safe choice. I think I’d just like to build vegetable gardens for people.
Nossa, são tantos os casos em que isso aconteceu comigo! :) Fui criada em um meio muito “intelectual”, de forte caráter cultural, onde as cobranças e expectativas eram altas.
Já fui severamente repreendida por ler Agatha Christie, ainda menina, quando tomei gosto pela leitura. Eu esperava todo mundo dormir e me fechava no closet para ler a Sra. Christie até de madrugada.
Assim foi com Paulo Coelho, Marcelo Rubens Paiva e outros autores de que tanto gosto, que li e releio à vontade.
As visões muito estreitas nunca me afetaram diretamente, porque sempre fui muito introspectiva e pensativa, beirando a distração completa :)
Eu só não sou muito amiga de discussões e tentativas de convencer as pessoas que se alguma coisa é boa para mim, deveria ser boa para elas (lógica estranha).
A verdade é que a mesma rebeldia que me fez tão mal em alguns momentos, me salvou de ser influenciada em pontos cruciais na formação da minha sistêmica enquanto Patrícia, sem a sombra de todos antes de mim.
Ah, “esse papo meu tá qualquer coisa” :) Efeitos do Sr. Paulo queimando nossas pestanas!
Abraço e saudações pelo aniversário de sua grande companheira Christina!
The opinion of others are different of your own
opinion.I have to experience myself.
i don’t always believe what others saying ,i have
to see it by myself
Buenaventura
i do not know if it is relevant but…
Paulo’s books have always been my source of inspirations but there was something that i thought ‘impossible’…which is to follow signs. i do not know why but i thought it was for someone more enlightened and more trained and mature. or maybe chosen people. but one day, as i was chatting with my dear friend, who was also a fan of Paulo, said she was waiting for signs. i just said ‘really?’ and thought how brave she was. she was following signs! then i stared to think ‘maybe it is for everyone. if she cad do it, maybe me too…’ then, i began to look a bit more carefully. and now, at least i can notice a few signs even though it is still small things. also i saw a few dreams that really came true. so i am really hoping that one day i can really be guided by signs which are supposed to be all over around me.
i really thank her for this. hugs + kisses:)
I don’t think Your post is irrelevant. I understand it’s meaning. Your posting hints wonderfully on the fact that we have to start to think and contemplate, not blindly act against or favour something. But to listen to ourselves, what the world tells us.
We need to think on our own not to go along with things OR against things. The reason shouldn’t be not to please someone or to go against someone’s wishes, but to understand the world better and find what really is important/true/love.
Was a nice message, a very good perspective, chieko.
Be well.
thanks Liina for warm + kind reply:)
i really like your comment.
and i would like to add a bit more about my post.
i think my friend acted as an angel because otherwise i would just keep believing that following sign is something impossible.
much love
chieko
The signs in my life don’t really mean to me ‘Hey, come this way!’
They’re more like
‘See! I told you beforehand I’d be here with you at this moment, I am your future, trust me completely, do what you have to do and I’ll help you out through!’
:):)
sorry for commenting something irreverent again.
well, i woke up very late this morning feeling ‘i should have woken up much earlier…’. then when i went downstairs, i heard a music coming from the radio. i vaguely had a feeling that i had heard of it before. then it became clear that i did hear it a while ago. and i noticed it was a sign. but unfortunately, i do not know its meaning. (most important part!)
one artist said in an interview that if she failed to follow one vision (she said earlier that she had a series of visions), she would end up doing it all over again. and i feel like it is true. if i did not follow one sigh, i have to repeat it again and again and it is so painful now…i feel like what is wrong with me? why i am stuck?…
well, btw, the music was ‘jesus’ blood never failed me yet’ by gavin bryars. the origin of the music is so inspiring. i like this kind of art. so i just got it from itune so that i won’t forget it, at least… maybe i’ll figure out what it means…
thanks for reading.
love
I found this interesting info on “Changing minds.”
“According to studies conducted at Northwestern University (USA), men change their minds two to three times more than women. Women tend to take longer to make a decision, but once they do, they are more likely to stick to it.” !!!
Thank you dear Theresa, also I read that when drinking something hot, like a hot coffee/tea/beverage with the other person, we can change his mind more easily.. maybe because he feels more warm and open to us… (this can be good for corporations I guess)
Love and Graditude
Annie
Ohhh, the men know that???he he. I think is true, women more responsible.
I used to say I hated opera music until I watched THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, at the Pantages theater in Toronto, Canada, in 1994.
It was just about the best spectacle I’ve ever watched in my entire life!
Awesome! Fantastic!
this year there comes the ..sequel!! ;o)
Wow, it’s true, isn’t it,
I didn’t know about it,
I checked it at google, comming to BROADWAY DECEMBER 2009, the sequel
‘Phantom: Love Never Dies’
what a ‘coincidence’!!!
The G H O S T of the opera! I see… :)
Hehee… a similar thing with me, without T,C in 1994 and also without others telling me not to like it, but for some reason I did not like it myself. But I saw the musical Phantom of the Opera later and some ‘coincidences’ let me to see more opera and I started to enjoy it. I can’t say it’s my favourite, considering everything, but I do not hate it…
Hate is a strong word, really.
I think when we see things more widely, broadened, when we are not giving blind judgement and prejudice, accusations, then we stop hating.
Thanks, Den Rod
the familiar eye.
Be well.
Be well.
Thanks Den Rod. You made me smile.
I was feeling weak this evening, was afraid that I was coming down with a flu (I haven’t been sick or felt weakness of such for a long time now) and had a cup of tea with ginger and lemon, and now I feel like an oiled working mechanism again. And I had an old friend wishing me well, and also You, the familiar eye (to which resemblance I saw on TV today, was funny).
Sometimes the things we do and the messages we’re sent cooperate and as soon as we felt ill we will be better again.
How about if we were able to construct our whole life by starting to think/feel more positively? Hey? Well, it’s always there. We just have to find it.
Love,
L.
Yes, Linna, sure!!!
I love to change my mind because it means discovery. It means my mind is flexible and not locked into one track. The first memorable occasion for this talent had to do with carrots. I liked only raw carrots, but cooked carrots were on the menu, and my father made me remain at the table until I ate them. After sitting there sullen and angry over the unfairness in my treatment, I ate the carrots. They were delicious!
I listen and read movie and literary reviews, but my own judgment is what I value the most. If everyone likes something and I don’t, I do try to understand what it is I may be missing in order to learn something new, unless it’s the Twilight series. Still, I read two of them: that kind of success is hard to ignore, but not one I could commit to repeating in my own writing.
Hola Paulo
Algo con lo que yo estaba prejuiciada era con los libros de ciencia ficción, me decía que esos no eran para mí y me resistía a leerlos, pero luego de leer Farenheit 451 y 1984 cambié de opinión.
Ahora sé que posiblemente no todos los libros de ciencia ficción me gustarán, pero habrá muchos que me encantarán como estos dos.
Es triste que alguien “odie” algo o a alguien sin saber por qué; gracias a Dios ese es un sentimiento que ya no tiene cabida en mi corazón.
Un abrazo.
For me, the most recent one was on Michael Jackson.
Before he died, I really did not like him. I felt his music was crappy. I couldn’t understand why so many people liked him. I honestly did not know any of his songs, and didn’t want to listen to any of them.
But after he died, a few shows were on about him, and the recent movie that came out..They all showed me that above all he was a singer for one reason; he loved music. And I couldn’t help but respect him for that. Making people happy while doing something you love is something I think we all should do.
I don’t love him now, but I think it’s an improvement :)
Hi Waala,
for me it was the same. I could not understand that people screamed in his shows and acted crazy. Thus, I was not interested in his music either. After his death, I saw several dance presentations, and I had to realize that the funk I learned to dance in the early 90s included mainly movements that were developed by him.
Thus, I really began to understand him as a good, creative dancer and have respect for him.
At the same time, I began to see that he was also a human who fought lot of demons and then having to live an isolated life.
Waala
I understand you because I didn’t like Michael Jackson so much. I did love his songs and way of dancing because he was extremely talented, his songs were very popular when I was a teenager, but there was something about his personality I didn’t quite like. And I agree with you I couldn’t help but aknowledge he was an extraordinary artist ( song writer,singer and dancer )
Right now I don’t remember any examples regarding literature, but since I’ve been subject to xenophobia because of my nationality in the country I’m currently living, I think it’s good to bring up the subject of prejudices and stereotypes regarding nationalities.
I don’t know exactly when and where I got this idea from ( that’s the worst about this type of bigotry, negative thoughts come to your mind without you realizing it ) but I had negative feelings toward Germans and Japanese ( I’m ashamed to say so) maybe because of all the stories about the Second World War.
After all , history is written by the winners.
The thing is, I had never gotten to know neither a German nor a Japanese and I completely changed my mind when I happened to meet volunteers from both countries who worked with me in my English classes during last year and this year.
As a result, I got rid of the preconceived ideas about them and I’m really grateful to them: Hisashi, Myo, Ana, Magdalena, Lavinia and Mark for showing me their kindness, warmth, and enthusiasm.
Thanks for your help, chats, shared drinks, karaoking and dancing.
It feels so good to meet different people and find out they’re not that different as you had thought.
Que buen tema “cambiar la mentalidad”. Creo recordar que me pasó un caso con un amigo, no con los libros pero si con la música: mi amigo luis que es un buen músico y gran entendido en la música siempre criticaba todos los estilos musicales excepto el rock que decía que era la mejor música, a mi me gustaban varios estilos y me fijaba también en la voz de los cantantes que para mi es un instrumento más. Tardé en comprender que Luis estaba equibocado criticaba la música clasica el tocaba de oido y de mayor fue al conservatorio, tenía que tocar canciones clásicas y un dia le oí comentar que estaba maravillado porque se había dado cuenta que toda la música salía de ahí. Esta fue la confirmación aunque yo ya sospechaba que Luis se mantenía encerrado en una cosa nada más en oposición a otro amigo Juan, músico, que a él le gustaban toda clase de estilos y
y tenía un amplio criterio.
Este es un ejemplo de lo que puede llegar a ser la influencia de los otros y tambien de tener PREJUICIOS que son los que te hacen tener ideas preconcebidas a partir de ahí procuro hacerle caso a mi gusto que es tan inteligente como cualquier músico.
Un beso Paulo.
For me it was Harry Potter. Everybody around me was so crazy about those books and for some peculiar reason this made me extremely reluctant to start them. Usually it is enough for me if somebody recommends a book or an author. Than I get curious and at least give it a try. One reason was certainly that I do not like to wait for months for the continuation of a story. But it was not the main reason. Eventually a friend convinced me to read the first book and than I got hooked. I really liked them.
One the other hand I read a lot of books by authors who won some prize and I seldom felt the need of reading a second one by the same author, because many of them are so enormously depressive and I really dislike the feeling of helplessness and desperation that they leave behind. But to mention something like that in a discussion about books is a big no-no, this is not acceptable. You are supposed to pretend to admire them, or do YOU want to claim that they did not deserve the prize?
If you on the other hand mention that you like science fiction or fantasy stories than you are considered to be weird. But sometimes such a confession can cause a happy smile because you might encourage somebody else to dare to mention that they have a similar taste.
When it comes to movies, than I fall much more frequently into this trap of eliterian group pressure. If everybody else loves a movie than this fact alone can make me very hesitant to watch it. I don´t know why. Recently I watched Titanic for the first time in my life, and Dirty Dancing. It is not exceptional masterpieces that I almost missed out on, but I liked both of them. I still have not seen Jurassic Park.
Hmmm… This gives me a lot to reflect upon. Thanks for the interesting topic.
Love,
Petra
Changing your mind-contextually approved.
Easily read books like “The Little Prince” and “The Alchymist” are among my favourites – because they touch my heart deeply. And I have enough selfconfidence to say that I really like these books. Maybe because I also have read taken subjects like political science, economics, astronomy, and so on at the university. Sometimes simplicity is a quality.
Dear Paulo,
I might give you a lot of examples on this topic. In past (even because of being a bit naive as nature, I don’t know how much I’ve changed now) I used to listen and give importance to others opinion, specially to my closest friends, and that didn’t happen only on books, but even when speaking about people or other persons.
Fortunately, my moto was always : “Everybody deserves a chance” and so I had the chance to see I as wrong.
I had to make that mistake a lot of time till I learned to listen to myself and to never care about others opinion’s (Good or Bad), till I see that myself.
I could give you so many examples…
Oh yes! I remember now On a book than when I still think about it today I feel seek. They were the worst and boring three hundred pages I have ever read in my whole life.
It was a classwork we had a few years ago and we had to work on two different books. We had to divide in two groups an choose to work on one book each. The professor started talking about the two books. She said that one was more difficult than the other but more interesting to read. As I like such things, I like INTERESTING things, I didn’t care about how difficult it was.
At the end I the interesting thing it was my headache, and the difficult part it was to go to the end of that reading.
I felt so stupid for a lot of reasons…
I finally started to learn my lesson in such occasions. I had a lot to lose this way and I learn to trust only on my taste.
I confess I really wanted to blame the professor for what I was going through but I knew I couldn’t. The fault was all mine for making that choice and I couldn’t blame her for her taste, could I?
In Italian there is one expression who says :
“Tutti i gusti sono giusti”
Each time I hear an opinion it comes this saying into my mind and then I tell my self, When I’ll see that I tell you if I agree…
Last weekend I was sick, but I had decided to read as much as I could. Result. I red three books in one day and have problems with my eyes now. I need time to recuperate, because I don’t want to see a single letter…heheheh…Anyway, one book I’ve read it was written by a professor of mine. Some people definitely hated it, others liked it, they found it fun, I had no opinion on it till the moment I saw it in my hands, it had the air of something very interesting.
Finally I found it disappointing. I expected much more from my professor. But I do not hate that book because it was fun too.
You know those kind of experiences has helped me to understand what is the “golden middle” too…
So, Paulo and dear friends of this blog, this is my story ;)
LOVE
Olta
Sorry I had to post this comment twice.
LOVE
Olta
Ohhh, that happened to me in the exams period, couldnt feel my eyes for pain. Will pass
Please take care, eat carrots, blueberries, help the view.
Good luck
Love
Alexandra
I knew about carrots but I didn’t knew about blueberries.
Thank you Alexandra.
Love
Olta
3 books in one day??? wow, you read really quick… I usually need much more time than that!!!
Please , pretty please get some rest, and Try to get vitamin A for the eyes, carrots, and anything orange!
Thank you for sharing with us <3
Love and Graditude
Annie
Well dear Annie, they were around 200 pages each. It usually takes me 4 hours to read one book of about 200 pages.
Since I was sick I had nothing to do more than lying to bed, I could read, I hate spending my time on doing nothing. But the real reason it was that I like those books and I wanted to read them as soon as possible. No mater what that meant.
You see I can’t help it. Where there is something I want like that I do not care anymore what part of me that might cost me. hehheheheheh
Thank you Annie!
Love
Olta
Dear Paulo – on the other hand, is it possible that some people love you or your work just because their peer group, or people they identify with in general, love it/you? Maybe it works both ways?
Still it is a good point. I do come across people who do not like your books, mostly because they think they are too simplistic. When I point out that this might be intentional and makes your message more universal and accessible, this can fall on deaf ears.
Unfortunately I do hate confrontation (something to do with my upbringing) and I am often afraid of openly disagreeing with people. People who can shout the loudest often gain approval from their peers even if they are talking (what I would see as) rubbish.
But although I find it difficult sometimes to stand up openly, I don’t often actually change my mind about my views (not without good reasoned argument or proof)…er, not sure if this is better or worse.
I heard once about an experiment in which a group of people were played a series of ticks.. a person was planted in the group to speak up first and say that he had heard 12 ticks, when in fact the group had been played 13 ticks. Most of the group members then followed suit and said they had heard 12 ticks! So it seems that this is, to a certain extent, only human.
I think as you get older (or maybe more confident of yourself), you find it easier to resist peer pressure…
But I’ll give you another example of mass mentality. I buy a lot of clothes in Italy, as I think they are nicer than the ones I can buy in the UK. Usually this means I have clothes which are a year ahead of the fashion trends in England. So I wear them for a whole year and nobody ever says anything.
Then, almost without fail, when I wear the same clothes the next year, people exclaim ‘ooh where do you get that, where did you get this?’ as if I hadn’t been wearing them for a whole year beforehand. Why? Because they don’t actually even see the clothes until they are ‘in fashion’…!
So what do you make of that!?
The first example that comes in my mind about this is that when I was at University I met a girl that she was friend of some friends of mine..when I first saw her the impression that I had was very bad…she was wearing expensive clothes, she was driving a fast car, she had the profile of a rich and spoil girl(her father is a rich politician in Greece and this made her look more snob)…I was thinking that this woman is so much superficial, that she cares only for matterial things and that after University she will spend her time in social events and parties…
Without even want it we were spending time together because we were in the same company…In this time I could see that she was so much different…she had dreams and hopes, she was trying to learn and she was working hard…my mind changed when I let my heart free of prejudice. She became my best friend and she is still a person that I appreciate so much. People are not what we see with the first glance…
And as the “Little Prince” says …”only with the heart we can see clear, what is essential is invisible to the eyes”:))
This was a lesson for me…
I loved your book Zahir very very much- simply changing my mind to read it again. Before I had just read the beginning and I thought that the man was depressing and I stopped reading just after some pages. This time I was tough and I also started to see similarities with my own life and my own “depressing man”. So all the best to you Paulo and another big thanks for sharing your magical love to us by literature and your great loving spirit:))
Ok so… I just read ‘The Little Prince’ for the first time! I have already read Gibran… I’ll have to come back and reply to the post another day because I am reflecting on this extraordinarily different story…
The little pince is a very good history and Khallil Gibran is my inspiration is the most beautiful reading tha I read.
Hate is a powerful word, it drains you, allowing it’s negative force to convince you to act against the other. Hate is devoid of love. I ask, is there anything in this world that you feel is totally devoid of love? I have taught my daughter to not use that word. Once, when she wanted to use it, she began with “I know mom that you say that to hate is to not have any love for something, but really mom, I cannot find love for ….”. We search together and found some love! lol It is important to carefully choose our words. If I dislike something or someone, it is the “me” that is responsible for the dislike and not the thing/person. I dislike violence, which by the way, in many cases is done out of the love of something or someone. I read this book by David Hawkins Power vs Force, it helped me understand something I knew within! Namaste!
Oh, in my tangent, I forgot an example of my own. I do try to avoid watching movies that have no meaning! My husband had rented Wally, which I was not going to watch. I had better, constructive things to do! lol However, I decided to open my mind and watch it on my own. I loved it! Perhaps that is because I found deep meaning! lol I am quite picky when it comes to movies. Open mind with self respect is the key!
‘In true love you want other person’s good. In false love you want the other person’. Paulo Coelho.
I think this is the answer to … changing our mind. But we must be honest with ourselves and not use it as an excuse for our … running away. In true love we want and NEED the other person. Life seems a .. desert without ..
We must be ‘flexible’ regarding our tastes and open to new … ’sensations in our journey to Ithaca’, but we must also be … rocks and ‘reliable’ when we …’trod on other person’s dreams’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGJ_aoOscE&feature=related
If you change your mind!!!!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Thank you for bringing it back to me.
I don’t usually like musicals, or that is what I thought, but I completely changed my mind when I saw Mamma mia for the first time.
I simply loved it and couln’t help but seeing it over and over.
Love
Yes Marta Adriana, the Mamma mia is so .. optimistic and Meryl Streep wonderful. It is really a Hymn to love and life.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Totally agree with you: ” a hymn to love and life”.
And this song “If you change your mind” is one of my favorites from the movie. Specially the part that reads ” if you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown, honey I’m still free take a chance on me…”
You are my HERO, Thelma!!! Big Thelma! *****
THIS is the TRUE LOVE, Paulo!
Man must have the COURAGE to be SINCERLY!!!
Without the PASSION, the TRUE LOVE don’t exist!
The FALSE LOVE is the love WITHOUT PASSION!
It’s time to change YOUR mind!!! :-D
I think that when someone is changing his/her mind,wether he/she takes the right or the wrong decision,it’s his/her business.Therefore people should not discuss/gossip about it.They should mind their own business.When it’s their personal case,it’s good to talk freely about it,see what it changed in yourself ect..but when they discuss other people’s case,well,it’s another matter.The ones who pretends he/she doesn’t jugde but is really well judging.People should not discuss about other people’s business,while there is so much to solve out with our own life already.Your life,your decisions,your change of mind are personal.Your life is yours and yours only.
Paulo,
Eu te odiei. Odiei porque me falaram que você não prestava.
Falaram que você se aproveitou do Raul (sou fan do baiano) e isto foi o suficiente para odiá-lo. Mesmo não sabendo se era verdade ou não, mesmo não convivendo com vocês. Que tolice…
Um dia, na biblioteca, fiquei procurando algum livro que me fizesse bem. Pedi isto ao “ar” e em seguida esbarrei (literalmente) em alguns livros de sua autoria. Pensei, pensei e pensei. Resisti alguns instantes. Alegava a mim mesmo que eu não poderia ler um livro do Paulo Coelho. Era uma pessoa que haviam me “ensinado” a odiar porque tinha se aproveitado do Raul Seixas. Mas meu impulso foi maior que meu “dogma” e peguei um livro para ler. Adorei. Conforme eu ia lendo, parecia que eu estava escrevendo, de tão semelhante o ponto de vista do livro com o meu.
Em 3 meses, li quase todos os livros de Paulo Coelho e hoje lhe estimo com muito carinho e admiração.
Percebi que para odiar algo ou alguém, precisamos de poucos motivos fúteis e sem fundamento. E para amarmos algo ou alguém precisamos de muitos motivos, o que era para ser ao contrário, certo?
Vi que amar é mais desafiante do que odiar. Odiar é fácil, amar é mais difícil, árduo e sacrificante. Mas apesar disto, é melhor. É melhor porque quando amamos tudo conspira ao nosso favor. Tudo sorri para nós… Pelo menos comigo é assim.
Então caro Paulo Coelho. Eu fui um exemplo que te odiei e hoje, de certa forma te amo (porque não?). Amo como um irmão que percorre o Caminho. Amo como uma pessoa que teve e tem as mesmas indagações que tive e tenho. Amo porque creio que Jesus está certo.
Paulo, me desculpe por ter te julgado, mesmo sem te conhecer. Seus livros mudaram minha vida. E veja como é: Uma pessoa que eu odiava mudou minha vida através de suas palavras. E Palavras que falam de amor o tempo todo.
Como é interessante a relação que o amor e o ódio tem.
Isto tudo é facinante. O fantástico da vida me facina.
Obrigado pelas palavras.
Daniel
(Mais um amigo que você não conhece…)
BACA ROJA on Tu comentario espera ser Aprobado Noviembre 23rd, 2009 9:38 am 1EMPERO la serpiente era astuta, más que todos los animales del campo que Jehová Dios había hecho; la cual dijo á la mujer: ¿Conque Dios os ha dicho: No comáis de todo árbol del huerto?
2Y la mujer respondió á la serpiente: Del fruto de los árboles del huerto comemos;
3Mas del fruto del árbol que está en medio del huerto dijo Dios: No comeréis de él, ni le tocaréis, porque no muráis.
4Entonces la serpiente dijo á la mujer: No moriréis;
5Mas sabe Dios que el día que comiereis de él, serán abiertos vuestros ojos, y seréis como dioses sabiendo el bien y el mal.
6Y vió la mujer que el árbol era bueno para comer, y que era agradable á los ojos, y árbol codiciable para alcanzar la sabiduría; y tomó de su fruto, y comió; y dió también á su marido, el cual comió así como ella.
7Y fueron abiertos los ojos de entrambos, y conocieron que estaban desnudos: entonces cosieron hojas de higuera, y se hicieron delantales.
8Y oyeron la voz de Jehová Dios que se paseaba en el huerto al aire del día: y escondióse el hombre y su mujer de la presencia de Jehová Dios entre los árboles del huerto.
this week’s topic falls into line with something I’ve been thinking a lot in the last few months: how hard it is for us to accept that people change, and change their minds.
we tend to make our own opinions about people and project them over and over again. for example, a wife that thinks her husband is insensitive, maybe because he was insensitive or abusive in the past. He comes and does beautiful gestures, sensitive, but it is hard for her to change her mind about him. Her replies are always reminding him that the nice gesture is a one-time, but he is usually not like that.
Whevener I see that I think how sad, that we become the enemies of our own dreams when our hurt prevents us from believing that even the ones that hurt us can become better people.
I see it in the women hurt by men, that can’t believe that maybe that man later in life met a woman he loves and changed and became a better, committed man. I find it sad to hear those kind of women saying things like “he’s a cheater, he’ll cheat and lie to her like he did to me, he’s a lier”. How do you know? Why are we committing people to a lifetime sentence in their own hell? Just out of envy, or bitterness, that he didn’t become a better man with me?
I wish people can grow out of hurt and see how wonderful is that husbands, even after being abusive, can learn to be sensitive, that men, even after liers or cheaters, want and can become better versions of themselves.
These kind of observations in the people around me in the past few months led me to the wonder if we’re not prolonging or fulfilling the bad side of the prophecies by holding on to the hurt and bad projections. I am trying lately not to make up my mind so easily about people, especially when it comes to the bad sides, and change it fast when it comes to believing in the good sides.
(just some observations triggered by your topic)
I think it is triggered by fear and made/done as a self-protection.
The reason, why people do this. Even if I understand why it’s done (I’ve done it myself after being sexually abused), I do believe it’s a vicious dead end negative circle. And people need to break out of it.
Thanks for mentioning this, Anca.
Be well.
This is a wonderful subject!!
I think I did the other thing, i did everything NOT to please.. and the result was so much negativity and ’stress’ from the others that it came like a bullet back to me many times….. To better understand what I want to say,
I have to admit for quite some time, i was in a -who am I crisis- what do I really like, what do I really love? IS what I like, what I actually like, or my likings are because all these are opposite with my mother’s/parents’/people I do not look up to??
For example, my mother loves beer, loves meat, hates cooking… -> Annie says she hates beer, she quits meat for quite some times, starts cooking.. I had not tried drinking beer for a longg time, Annie tries it 2 years ago-
my mother hated my Grandmother -> I love(d) her forever
my parents loved one of my boyfriends, Angelos -> Annie starts not to like spending time with him
my mother dislikes Paulo Coelho (she has NEVER EVER read a book of him.., even though they are all at my library and at one time I left one of them(I think it was Veronica Decides to Die) by her bedside table, she left it where it was)-> (Thank God) Annie sees by chance on her way to University 7-8 years ago an orange book in a book-stand that was called Valkyries.. Annie loved it and loved Paulo ever since..
my mother is against exercise -> Annie starts jogging outside and walking in the forest
they do not want me to be a musician -> Annie will becomeone even if without money, without support, without love, without respect back, even if Hell freezes! -but that is what I actually like :D
ok, this can be a long long list, I have thousand of examples, but the important thing is now I like finding out who I really am, what I like..what and who I love, and how I want to ‘walk’ in the World
Love and Graditude
Annie
Hi Annie,
I liked reading your post! You are on a journey of discovery! I like your spirit of not letting anyone put you down! You go for it, and good luck with the music. Never give up on your dreams.
Love, Theresa
Love you sis, and giggles how you dare to tell it as it is. Sounds like my mother! And so many mother – daughter relationships are like this. SAD. What is great, great, great is you continue even when it feels like you have to wait till Hell freezes! I want to ‘adopt’ you to the sunshine in Arizona so much, to melt this freezing surrounding in your life…soon sis…soon…till then, yr doing f a n t a s t i c.
Annie,
could not help but remember that story from kahlil gibran where he narrates an innicence where a mon and a daughter sleepwalk and also sleep talk for a while before waking up.
u will become whatever u wish to, but why does it have to be a rection always, trying to do teh opposit of what they are telling u. clean the slate, change your mind, and tehn see what gives u pleasure, no not that kind “Ok so u say i cannot do it, i will prove u wrong”
heart mother daughter relationships are like that, because they are so close, annie may adpot u as her mother but that does not mean she will leave her present mother , she will have two moms, one to spoil her ( u ) and one to bug her !
love
aditya
no no, dear Aditya, I think mother daughter relationships are like that when they are NOT close! at least in my case..
That was a pattern I followed for a long time, I just felt and dared to share this with you, now I act along my North Star..As I said, the key question was “IS what I like, what I actually like, or my likings are because all these are opposite with my mother’s/parents’/people I do not look up to??”
As Marie had told, follow the path that has heart.. and I do that!
But, I will have to read this Gibran story, cause I do not know it !
Thank you Theresa, Heart and Aditya , I love you <3 <3 <3 (one heart for each :D )
Love and Graditude
Annie
Many examples Paulo,
The simplest and most recent one just the other week, when I promised my brother and his cousin I’ll go with them to see 2012. After reading impressions of my networks on fb and twitter of how crappy and unworthy the movie is, I lost interest completely in the movie. I still had to go as the designated driver, and kept looking all the time for other movies I can see. I even considered staying on the hallway and reading a book. That’s when my brother told me: “you had a brain last time I checked, why don’t you use it?”
So I realized I was fighting something based on other people’s opinions, preferences, and peer pressure.
I saw 2012 and I happened to love it. For my own reasons, different than anyone else’s: because the story line is almost realistic (I can see this happening to us as a humanity, and I can see humanity surviving) and because it showed human spirit at its best and at its worst without overdoing it.
But life has so many examples of changing our minds…
the same with me for 2012!
I am 26 years old and since 19 I decided to have the best job, a nice car, able to achieve the highest level in college and I have succeeded. However, I have outgrown some of the best years of my life, to achieve all this, stop making real friends, no longer enjoy life, I let go and encounter situations that do not add to my growth as a person. Only by achieving what others told me it was the most important thing to achieve.
How sad, but I have made decisions I made was the first resign from this job and I’m tired from the beginning. On the other hand, has changed his mind about fighting for the love of a person to finish, took six years of my life on it (I have decided to stay friends).
I’ll take a well deserved rest, devote time to my personal growth, taking time to make friends and then start my own business.
Love
There are always people (friends, family) who will try and get you to their way of thinking and make you feel stupid if you don’t agree with them. Follow your instincts and enjoy your own thing. FOr years I was influenced by another person and lost interest in many things – e.g. art, music. Now I am free and can indulge in the most ridiculous fads, trends, fashion if I wish…. Freedom is the greatest institution.
Oh I forgot the example… well I am a diplomat… sorry, but I will say this… when we change our minds, we should consider other people’s feelings…
SO , no example again, dearest Paul???? the answer is deficient!!!
<3 the compass says so!!! and the wind!!
Love and Graditude
Annie
you have the rest of the week to come up with one, dearest PvA :)
Dear diplomat, heheh
Who said that changing your mind means revealing your thoughts to those people.
Don’t tell us that you are diplomat in your soul as much as in your mind…Every body makes mistakes ;D.
Waiting for your example…
Love
Olta
Since PfA stopped pleasing people, and it is noticable that he does not give his concrete examples, I wouldn’t count on that happening. And that’s actually what I do myself. WHen I feel I have to share, I share. When I feel I shouldn’t, I don’t.
PS! Paul: considering others peoples feelings when changing our mind. Sure… if it is not triggered by the reason to only please them. ;)
Love,
L.
My desire to please has not ceased dear Liina… but if we don’t set boundaries… the depletion of energy can be crippling… Love, Paul
Dear Olt Ana,
Political circumstances can change peoples minds too and the effects can be pretty devastating…
As a result, I will not “be there” on March 19th 2010 after all…
My diplomat title can be now dropped
With love, Paul
‘As a result, I will not “be there” on March 19th 2010 after all…’
I do not believe that you, the most loyal reader of Paulo Coelho will not be THERE! There must be a … ‘diplomatic mistake’!! Oh I ‘KNOW’ the … diplomats/politicians: they are discussing now since 1974 -the Turkish Invasion to Cyprus – to … solve the Cyprus’s problem!! ;-]
I always prefer … direct communication.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Well, dear Paul,
With sincerity I’m telling you that this is one sad thing to know.
Me my self I want to be there a lot, but still I m evaluating the situation if I really can go and of course the rest its up to who is going or not giving the invitation to me.
So I might be and I might not be there, but still the idea that you are going to miss, it feels sad.
I don’t know maybe I m wrong but, I feel like you and your personality at that party would have made a considerable difference.
Why don’t you give another evaluation at the situation and change your mind again? Please!
I don’t think that there is a limited number of times of changing your mind. ;D
Love
Olta
oops,lol
I was saying it’s quite true that cruelty belongs to the weak while gentleness belongs to the strong.
Thank you for inspiring us
Let me say that is a great topic.First of all,I can’t believe people would say that “The Little Prince” is superfical,it’s all you want but superficial!I just love that book very much.
Of course it did happen to me to follow other people opinions.First starting with my mother who clouded my judgment when I was young.I had to leave home to understand that there was a big wide world out there.And learn,fall,stand again and make my own opinions.As we keep learning along the way,we can change our mind a lot too.
At times when we are not well in our life,we are easily influenced by others too.But soon as the strength is back again and that you have found,you know the word I’m going to use..your “Tree Of Life” then,you start to not care about what the crowd thinks of that thing,that book,that movie,that guy..and what they think of you too.You try and you make your own opinion.Cause the power you got now,and that you cheerfully spread around,no one and nothing can’t never take it back anymore.Once you’ve been weak and now you are strong.And it’s so true that cruelty belongs to the we
I have a feeling that this question addresses the day to day, as each of us has to face the likes of others and fight for ours, I remember many cases, some were obvious, some not.
Example, always heard “… drugs are bad son, never try …”
and how right was, very time consuming and gave me nothing good, maybe a good simulation of being … but totally false.
Many times I heard “… this girl is not good for you …” but I never did case, sometimes the relationship is degraded and finish, but I never regretted breaking up for a comment outside my heart and feelings.
Many times I heard “… read Paulo Coelho? that’s sucks (excuse the word) …” but not them who liked the book, to feel free in moments of utter boredom (and more I laugh when they too now read the Alchemist).
In the end I still think that it is sometimes good and sometimes not err, you should always listen, but just to have more points of view, not so that others may live for us.
I remember read the Bible, and while I read it listen to all sorts of things, “… has become ??… Jehovah’s Witness” “… now there is nothing better than reading this garbage …”
In short, none of the comments these successful, i read it just for curiosity, to feed it with something productive and that no means i believe more in God creates or less, I seemed to read a story historically important, like reading Homer for example, but people never tired of commenting and judging, each is as is.
And for all equal, music, friends, hobbies, studies, work, probably even for sex, they would do otherwise, and for me what? everyone has a way to do the things!
Minds change often like the wind… always searching for the best conditions… gusting variable NW – SE…