As you noticed that last week I posted here “Por que odeio Paulo Coelho”. The idea came during a conversation with a friend of mine, who was talking to someone who “hates” me and my friend asked: “why?” The more the person explained, the more she got confused. While reading 709 posts I got to the same conclusion.
They hate because someone said: you should hate it. I was also caught in this trap earlier in my life, and I can remember two cases: first it was with “The Little Prince”. Everybody said, Oh it’s a very superficial book. The second time was “The Prophet” (Gibran), also because “too easy to understand”. I waste some years before reading these two masterpieces.
So I would like you to share your similar experiences. Something/someone that you had a lot prejudices and later on you said; ” it’s much better then I thought, I should have my opinion instead of having other’s opinions.”
Thank you very much,
Paulo
Hi Paulo! I’ll write in my own language because its easy to me to explain this very interest example in my live of what you are talking.
Cuando era pequeña y en mi adolescencia viajaba todos los años a la playa Guaruja en Brasil, toda mi historia tendia hacia ese pais y siendo Argentina un rival de Brasil tenia un odio mortal hacia ese pais.
Argentina me parecia fea, y me pase diciendo mis primeros años que jamas iria a Buenos Aires, enfatizo la palabra NUNCA. Que ni siquiera si me invitaban y pagaban el pasaje lo haria. En todos los deportes siempre torcia por Brasil y odiaba a Argentina.
Hasta que un dia la vida (que tantas cosas ya me ha enseñado) me dio una de sus lecciones. Conoci a un chico argentino del cual me enamore y me invito a conocer su ciudad, de la cual el a su vez estaba enamorado. No tuve como decir no y fui a Buenos Aires.
Ahi la enamorada a primera vista fui yo. Fuimos en auto y aun recuerdo nitidamente la madrugada en que llegamos, el chico me llevo a pesar del cansancio de dirigir y de la hora por la 9 de julio. No hay palabras para describir lo que senti. Me enamore ahi mismo y luego me enamore de su gente, de sus olores, de sus calles, de sus edificios. Fui creando vinculos en esa ciudad y hoy en dia la visito por lo menos 3 veces al año. Hoy dia dos de mis mejores amigas viven ahi.
Desde esa experiencia he decidido no odiar nada que no conozco y mucho menos juzgar algo a la ligera, sin causa pues podria estar perdiendome de algo hermoso y grandioso para mi :)
estrano…mi vecina cuando era pequena tambien viene de Buenos Aires… no se porque te dice eso. No se tampoco si ella podia bailar el tango… Nunca le he preguntado
Gracias.:)
I agree that we should have our own opinion and not rely upon other people to judge
especially when we are dealing with people who are very susceptible to hurt
a simple gesture could cost them unnecessary pain or duress
I forgot to say that before we were acquainted, all the persons that used to tell about him created me a bad impression, the kind of person that I should keep away from. How strange that after we became close friends and my life changed. Roads of life are entangled, but thanks to God ,interesting.
I had a friend that was much more mature and wise about life then me. In out conversations, we were giving each other the needed information or advices. It wasn’t never directly, it was through the reflections on different problems. I can say that he changed my mind, as i began to analyze the things that surrounded me, to understand that i have an intuition i should trust, and to learn more about myself. Through him i founded myself. This is how my mind changed.
Hi Paulo,
First, I have to say sorry for my bad english. Here is a part of my life that I’m not very proud. But at the end, it was a good life lesson for me.
Everything started when a new woman came work with us(i have only male collegues). In the first time, I was really happy to work with her. She was funny and very nice to talk with. She has worked with us as technician for maybe 3-4 months. A day, the boss announced us that he has to quit for 3 months and that he decided that she would replace him…. Ohhh! All the problems has started at this moment.
Some guys was secretly jalous of her new position. They was secretly expecting to get the job. Some of us had doubts about her competences and about how she got the job… We started to have doubts about the relation between her and the boss. All of us started to talk in her back. This story has became so big that the good atmosphere of work became like hell.
I started to feel bad every morning I passed the doors of the office. I started to hate my job. I’ve got problems to sleep and lost interest in almost everything. I was in depression. I had to quite de job for 1 year.
In the beginning of my desease, I hated her for what happened. More the months passed, more I’ve started to understand all the bad things I’ve done to her. All my hate was turned over against me and made me sick.
The first time I’ve done when I came back to the office is to ask her to forgive me for all bad things I’ve done. She said me:“Don’t worry with it. Everything is over now. If I would have been in your situation, maybe I would have been the same“.
I have now a lot of respect for her. She got a real good job as boss now. Sometime, we go at the restaurant or drink a beer together. Unfortunately, I’m the only one who admitted my wrongs but now I know we always payback all the bad things we do. I’m happy of this life lesson.
Annie
Dear, Paulo Coelho!
My name is Anastassia. I live in Estonia in a small town. I opened your books for myself recently. I found in them something for themselves. Now I read your book “Brida”. I am not a fan of it. But it gives me something that I can not explain.
I do not care whether the real events of this book.
I speak as a teenager. But I have a teenager. I always doubt the existence of God. I am an atheist. It is amazing when a person believes in the unseen, unknown, without doubt. He just believes.
I believe that in life there is no God. Everything is as it is. Believers in God are his slaves.
Familiar experiences Bryde. When she wants to tell everything. I find it difficult to tell the mother all about myself. It is a shame she thinks she knows everything about me. But it is not. She is close to me. I will not tell her anything. I can not say that having sex. I want it. This sex is with love. Forgive me for this pun. I simply had no one to tell.
Anastassia
Dear Anastacia, i dare to write to you because i was in the same position as you are now. I am from Macedonia, small country in Europe, before known as a part of the big Jugoslavia. Thing i want to tell you is that we were not ( me and you) raised in the God beliving society.The time was different and difficult and many other things affected to it. But one day it will come alone, with the silance, God will knock at your heart,and you will have to open him. I hope you will recognize his knocking and let him in, so you can see the light again, and have faith in what you see the things you don’t see and don’t know.I hope you will. Belive it, with all your heart.
Caro Paulo,
Permita-me dizer que não tem como lhe odiar. Você foi uma inspiração para mim desde muito nova e um dos maiores motivos para eu amar a leitura. Uma pessoa como você é um exemplo e uma boa influência neste mundo cada vez mais perdido nas neblinas da demência. Seus atos, suas palavras e suas historias inspiram e transformam, você é um ser iluminado. Obrigada.
Cadê o post do “Porque eu odeio o Paulo Coelho”?
It’s taken me all week to get around to writing something on this subject because I have not been able to think of a single time when I have based my opinion about somthing or someone on something that has been told to me. I have changed my opinion, made up my mind, withheld making up my mind and everything in between, but not because someone has told me what to think.
I have had trouble making up my mind about people too, because I am aware that my experience of them is not always the same as someone elses. An example is an uncle of mine who abused my cousin when she was young. This same uncle has always been generous and respectful of me, although some of his social opinions I find hard to tolerate (sexism and racism among them). In this case, I’ve made the decision to not have anything to do with him, not because of anything he has done to me, or because my cousin has asked me not to (she hasn’t) but because I love my cousin, and there has been no appology, she has been accused of lying, and because I wish to show her that I take the matter seriously, and will not associate with someone who has done so much harm and will not acknoledge or take steps to repair the damage.
With love, Daniel
Hey All !
Dear Paulo ..
It is such a noble act, that a man changes his mind , especially if his decision contribute to tolerate somebody or something, or to get a better clear view about something he didn’t know well..
the same thing happened with me sveral times, on different subjects.
I have heard about Buddhism long time ago, but i didn’t know that much about this religion because of being myself born in a christian family. All i have heard about it, is some silly ideas which doesn’t make any sense.
But after getting little older, and beginning understnad more the meaning of life, I changed my mind .
I have learned to be tolerant, to stop making prejudices about concepts that i do not know much about.
For that Reason, i broke some obstacles that prohibited me ( for a long time ) to get in contact with other religions, other cultures.. So i had a better clear view about buddhism, i got to know Master Buddha – The Founding Father of Buddhism – i read a part of his quotes and teachings and i was so impressed.
Then i realised how bad it is when someone makes prejudices on something he barely know about, and i realised also that all religions carry the same Ultimate Essence, and the true way of wisdom is to tolerate everyone no matter how their point of view may be different from ours.
Hi Michael.
I think changing our mind is not noble, but very reasonable and sensible, when we understand that we have been wrong about something/someone.
And I find it very true what You said about different religions carrying the same essence. It’s not purely making others see life through Your (accepted and picked) frame/perspective, but letting them see the same life through the frame they prefer.
But for me, it all changes when I stop categorizing religions and when I forget the different types of it.
Hi Liina..
perhaps you are right, changing our mind could be more based on sensibility and reason than being a simple noble act.
And as you said, let everyone see life through his own frame , we all have the same right & we all have the complete freedom.
But sometimes our ” frame ” would become more rich if we share our thoughts with others, in that way we can change our minds and improve our thoughts.
And i totally agree with you,that all changes when we forget the different types of religions.
Let us just be equal brothers in this world having all the same rights, working to stop our conflicts with each others, to reduce suffer from this world, and create space for peace and love, and finally protect our Environnement.
Thanks for your Concern ..
Ciao Paul,
Interesting question.
I have thought this through my work in Human Resources.
In the beginning I took no notice that people could hate or don’t like an employer or a colleague or a business.
Then I began to ask for a favor when people express such a feeling. I found out that people often have a feeling not in relation to a real experience but often get it through dialogue with others and be strengthened through this dialogue,
To me very interestingly, how people express emotions without having experiences similar to a feeling.
I come from Denmark, from the town where H.C. Andersen grew up and his fairy tail about one feather became 10 hens through gossip, perhaps, it corresponds very well with how many people today express and find strong feelings.
Can you dislike a writer who can not read a book and actually have not met? In our culture we think obviously we can.
I wish we did not do it that way in our culture, or perhaps it is a characteristic of the individual.
But it means that we bring ourselves to judge and judge without having the background of a conviction.
I wonder also why we express the negative feeling so much because we do the things we do not know.
By this I mean that if someone likes your writing, they express it but we do not hear that they like Paul Coelho or his other books if they have not read a book or have met you.
My question is why we choose the negative view on something we do not know?
Is it our own uncertainty, it is a urinstinkt who just stays in human?
This complexity/simplicity of some masterpieces seems like religion ….
they seem simple as they offer the one and single truth that flows in all particles of the universe, that is so skillfully designed that presents it self as one thing, so it seems “easy”.
they seem complex as they carry the details of a marvellous structure.
depending on how and who looks at it, it seems simple or complex. the problem with simplicity is that some can not believe that an easy thing can be unique,or especial, but just ordinary and worthless, such people believe that a complex thing can not belong to all, but to Especial people. let them be far far a way from TRUTH.
My mind is constantly changing as I more and more
am learning to keep an open mind. Changing your mind
is often seen as something negative, as not
being consistent. I’ve changed my mind about that,
when I learned to see that changing your mind is
a vital part of growing as well as being consistent…
Lots of love,
Vicky
I agree full heartedly with Vicky here. In my life, I have changed my mind at times because I have had to, when the original tract or thought was too small and needed to enlarge in order for there to be any rational becoming of life and reality as they happen. There are times when in order to continue to be consistent in one’s growth, one is required to change. There is no use staying in (shoes or situations) whatever that doesn’t fit you anymore. Many blessings and Peace,
Dear Victoria, reading your comment made me think of some
expressions to the same idea… To broaden one’s mind, to broaden
one’s horizon… You just broadened mine :-) thank you.
Lots of love,
Vicky
hi everyone,
i’ve bin following this blog for months. You all have interesting opinions on everything.
And i must thank Paulo for writing wonderful books that have touched my heart:)
Love all
Sahana
I can not come to think of any person right now, but I do have two quite superficial experiences…
Using high plateau-shoes and wearing a latex catsuit.
I never thought some years ago I would use that kind of shoes, but later when starting making my photos for internet I found it was much more fun than I could have thought of. Being a little bit of an exhibitionist it suited me perfect, but I was raised in an environment where I was not allowed to stick out and where even high heels was something I should avoid because I was “already so tall”.
The catsuit came later as a compromise to make one of my sessions funnier for the client, I never expected to enjoy it, only to endure it. To my surprise I felt very comfortable in it (all covered up, sort of “cocooned” in thick plastic) and later had one tailormade for myself.
So before you try it, how do you know that you hate it?
I think you really should go for the parashuting Paulo!
thank you Josephine for sharing your story.
it seems like you have a very interesting life:)
i also have something similar on outfits, lingerie.
i used to wear only pale/pastel colors because it suited my quiet personality. but one day, when i was trying on another pastel at my favorite lingerie store, the person, who were helping me, said ‘you always put those colors. it looks good on you but you look a bit too quiet and not lively. let me cheer you up a little bit. ‘ and she brought me a pair of candy pink. i hesitated at first and asked her professional opinion if i look presentable in it. but she was right. pink is good. so since then i am trying to fill my lingerie box with all range of pink.
i have not yet tried parachuting but why not.
love
chieko
i wonder why are there some people who seem to have no difficulty with changing minds changing decisions while there are some that even if their choices comes to a point that it destroys them they still hold on to it. there are times that even if i convince my self to change my decision still i cant do it even if it hurts me already. and there are people that i saw whom changes their mind even if it hurts those who are around them. fancy that. how ones decision on belief affect the lives of other people.
Dearest Paulo,
I am surprised how someone like you can fall in this trap! You don’t seem like someone who listen to others to have a personal opinion!
My experience on changing minds comes from my working environment. I remember at least 2 superiors at work whom at first glance look like they are very tough, demanding persons, always yelling, those people you will try to stay very far to avoid trouble at work…However, what I noticed is that these persons are most of the time those with a golden heart, very sensitive and generous. So I learned to change my mind on those who from outside look like persons to avoid, but if you learn to know them can be your best and loyal friend! These persons are not hypocrite persons, not smiling and being nice with everyone just for the sake of being nice. So I learned not to judge people on what you see, ‘l’apparence est trompeuse’ as you say in french!
Lol!
We’re all humans, Mareina. So is Paulo. We’ve all been in these type of situations. Just that if we become aware that this type of acting is silly and judgemental, is when we start to change.
I am absorbed in ‘A Warrior’s Life’, your biography, dearest Paulo Coelho. I am in page 120, of the English version. It is perfectly written and your … diaries, breathtaking. From a child who has never been a baby or a child! How couldn’t your parents, your teachers and everybody not been able to SEE what a mature, wise, beautiful Soul you were and have always been?
Yes I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND: I love you more and admire you more. God bless you and Christina, your angel and companion.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
I start reading yesterday (in English). I read only the pdf of the final version, while the book in Portuguese was being printed.
To answer your question: if they were able to see, probably I wouldn’t be.
What a suprise to read about yourself in a foreign language…
It must be strange to read about yourself in a foreign language.. and I am sure your diaries must be much more interesting and ‘warm’ written directly from your beautiful soul, in your own language..
Yes, but if they were able to ’see’ you would have had less lonely times.. I could ’sense’ your desire for tenderness, sweet words, hugs, as all babies and children desire, especially the gifted ones, and an ‘enormous’ coldness around you…
You have your mother’s eyes and smile and you were a handsome boy. You seemed to be reading everything at the age of other children of your age were reading ‘Simplified classics’.. and not just reading them but taking notes and ‘judging’ them.
Thank you, for answering to my comment above. Have a nice evening.
MUCH LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Thelma I agree with Paulo when he says “If they were able to see I probably wouldn’t be.”
Noble hearts, need injustice to realize that they have to fight for justice so that they will help others because they have already felt their pain.
This is why we have to thank God not only about the good things but even the bad things which happens to us.
LOVE
Olta
What a wonderful statement!!!!
BUT!!! objection your honour! Love cannot be measured!! how can you love him more ??? ;o)
Love you both so so so much!!
Love and Graditude
Annie
Your … objection accepted!!! Swannie.
LOVE cannot be .. measured but we can .. add more dimensions, colours and reflections to it!! To make it .. richer.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
i totally agree with you paulo coelho because we do not think as we need to think but we think with some perceptions and some vague images about the things .i started to try to see the things with an impartial frame of mind when i was in the first year of collage .most of time we see things with a jaundiced eye and that is the apple of discord.
A Warrior’s Life by Fernando Morais, an absolute must read!
http://keithpp.wordpress.com/2009/11/30/a-warriors-life-by-fernando-marais/
Keith
the human’s brain is really one organ what is full of the problem and it likes so much to creat the problem with itself . we struggle with ourselves we conflicted with others .we created the most advanced machines but we can’t deal with our own problem or we won’t be here.whenever we can understand our own heart ?whenever we can stop beating ourselves ?whenever we can stop hurting others ?whenever we can feel peace and love overwhelm our heart ?sometimes I can’t understand the prejudice about others is from my own idea or from others ,but it is here and speak of the prejudice ,it would never be right since the human all have many faces same as the diamand , and we only see the not bright side !but there are so many times even if I know that I still can’t help hurting others because no matter how I can’t stand them although I know all that dislike is from my prejudice .I really don’t know when I can change myself !
Thank you Kealan!! The .. Muppet’s Bohemian Rhapsody for Good morning!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Hm. I have a prejudice to Lindsay Lohan’s film. I always think that all of her films are shallow chick flicks. Once I watched Georgia Rule on HBO by chance, surprisingly it was a good movie, a very heart-touching one, I must say and her acting was great there. If ‘coincidence’ didn’t save me from my prejudice, I might be missing the lesson in that movie.
Avoiding prejudice, it’s hard because I have to fight my automatic pilot. Constantly awake and alert, sometimes it’s exhausting but I don’t want to give up. When I encounter/meet someone and my automatic pilot tell me to stay away from them, I tend to fight. Hey, it might be my “instinct” tell me to stay away, not the automatic pilot. In some cases, it turned out that my automatic pilot was right and that person really bugged and tried to intrude my private life. In some cases, I’m glad that I managed to fight the automatic pilot because I have a good friend now and we can share and learn each others experience. So now I’m kinda torn: how to differentiate “automatic pilot” and my “instinct”
Like my husband, he never watches movies with sub titles, or chick flicks for that matter. He definitely misses out on good flicks! And myself normally reject war movies, prison movies, drug movies, divorce movies, gangster movies, horror movies, movies with only black actors, sci fiction movies…but once in awhile I give these a chance too, and do get out of my box for awhile.
Paulo,
Thanks for this week’s topic. All posts really help me a lot. I have a problem regarding changing my mind, ‘coz I usually do. Sometimes, it’s good sometimes it’s not, so I have to have more idea when to change my mind.
Take care
Olá Paulo,
recentemente pude ler “O Pêndulo de Foucault”, de Umberto Eco. O livro é uma grande compilação de teorias conspiratórias relacionadas a sociedades secretas e ocultismo, amarradas em uma trama interessante de mistério.
Um dos personagens é o Conde de São Germano, figura enigmática que alguns ocultistas afirmam ter sido um imortal, mestre iluminado, alquimista, etc, com participação ativa em vários eventos importantes da história. Entre as identidades que lhe são atribuídas estão Hesíodo, Platão, São José, Merlin, Rosenkreuz, Colombo e Francis Bacon.
A associação com “Eu Nasci Há 10 mil Anos Atrás” foi imediata, mas não encontrei nada a respeito na internet. Por acaso a música foi baseada nessa lenda do Conde? Poderia fazer um post sobre isso?
Parabéns pelo sucesso.
As many have written, it takes a great amount of courage to change your mind.
“The supreme act of courage is that of forgiving ourselves. That which I was not but could have been.
That which I would have done but did not do. Can I find the fortitude to remember in truth, to understand, to submit, to forgive and to be free to move on in time?” Kauffman
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Here is a portion of ENDGAME by Samuel Beckett adapted by Lainee
My heart said, “That’s love…yes, yes, not a doubt… That’s friendship… no question, you’ve found it.” It said to me. “Here’s the place. Stop, raise your head and look at all that beauty. All that order! ” Then it said to me, “Come now, you are not a beast, think upon these things and you will see how all becomes clear. And simple!” Then it said to me,” Notice what skilled attention they get from you…. all these crying of their wounds —
I say to myself — “Sometimes, I must learn to suffer better than that if I want them to weary of punishing me — one day.” I say to myself — “Sometimes, I must be there better than that if I want them to let me go — one day. But I feel too far gone, to form new habits.”
“Good. “ I say to myself “This will never end. —– I’ll never go. —–I will never leave them ——— It’s easier this way.”
Then one day, suddenly, it ends, —— it changes, ——– I don’t understand, ——— it dies, ——–or it’s just me, ——–I don’t understand. So I ask my heart — sleeping, waking, morning, evening. But it has nothing to say.
So I open the door of the cell and go. —- I walk. — I am so bowed I only see my feet if I open my eyes. But it’s easy going. —much easier than I imagined. I go.————————-
——————-When I do fall, I will weep with happiness.
This is what we call making an exit.
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TAKE A RISK — AND THEN MAKE AN ENTRANCE :-)
love, courage, and warm light to you,
Lainee
Lovely Lainee… wonderful encouraging words. Thank you.
Love & admiration,
Heart
changing my mind …..
I have currently a situation, where I have the feeling that I need to have an open mind that stays flexible all the time to always change.
1. my sister & brother-in-law have both to deal with cancer. and with the disease, old dormant problems that have existed between her and me have become present again, that hurt me additionally to the whole situation we already have.
having an open mind that is ready to change gives me now an opportunity to step out of this old problem, do not take it so personally as I did it before and be able to still keep my compassion for them and trying to find a new basis for communication and stay connected.
2. Paulo, I am working on the realization of an old dream :o). and one of your postcards that says one should be going for one’s dreams and only focus on the good events, helps me a lot. I taped a copy of it at my office door at home so that I pass it often & have a look at it. it is like a mantra.
I am at a point where I need help from somebody to move on with my dream. I finally found a person who said she wants to help, but her actions look differently. in such a situation, I used to be negative, angry, being fearful what always took a lot of energy.
I decided to look at the situation differently:I still work with her to clarify how she can help me, at the same time I am looking for alternatives, trust in the past/path that it had worked out till now, look for the positive things that still work now, and prepare alternatives. and I am finding now new ideas, how it still could work even when I am doing it on my own :o)
a changing mind is a flexible mind that seems to open up to new possibilities to look at things & find solutions.
There we have the little prince again: because he was open and wanted see other planets, he was really capable to recognize what his rose was to him. changing mind means leaving “our” planet. i.e., litle world, and go on the little prince’s journey :o)
Love it or hate it? Changing your mind!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcEpdxsWZLA
(Hate It Or Love It)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7PFlGRPkGs&feature=related
Loved the muppets’ bohemian rhapsody
Thank you Kealan!
Love and Graditude
Annie
Anna my sweetheart; Anna my love;
I can not speak volumes tonight, I can not speak love!
Hurt from relationships hurt, from love;
I cannot do anything without your love!
(Annie, if you wish it this poem is not about you!)
(I just wrote it!)
I think it is wonderful for whoever you wrote it :D
;o)