In true love you want other person’s good. In false love you want the other person.
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Благодарю Господа, Великую Мать Богиню за ваш оструй ум. Учитель, благословите меня на мою работу.
even if I amn’t in love ,I don’t wish the bad things happend to the people around me ,that’d make me feel sad .and when I am in love I always wished so much that the good things can happened to my lover ,but that’s not in my power .I take paulo’s opinon is :if you truely love one person ,you loved the real face whether his good face or bad face ,if your love is false or your love to others is for you love yourself ,you’d build the love upon your own fancy at your lover ,then someday this love only hurt back to yourself.but the fact is :no matter how you tried ,you ‘d find your lover is the mirrow to yourself .you aren’t loving the other,you are loving yourself or your ideas about others ,the love is still a love ,but the love is a hurt to yourself and the love is very easily became to hate .sorry for myself ,I always can’t see the person’s true face and when I see it I always can’t really love him or I always wish he can do more for me but I always feel failure i know it’s my own problem .but I ‘d try and try not for loving others but for learning how to love myself then i ‘d know how to love others how to accept the real face of others
Good point Gaurry! I think sometimes we fall in love with a fantasy about the person, not the person themselves, and when something happens to reveal the true nature of the fantasy, then someone is headed for a fall!
I’ve noticed that when people are forming a relationship, romantic or otherwise, there often comes a point when barriers are dropped and they begin to exchange stories that reveal positive and negative aspects of their nature. It’s like saying “if you read between the lines, you’ll see who I really am”.
The problem is love is blind – sometimes it only sees what it wants to see, and sometimes it just doesn’t see faults because it is irrelevant. Eyes wide open is important in love, not so you can judge, so you can see.
With love, Daniel
“Love seeks one thing only: the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore, is its own reward.” Thomas Merton
With loving kindness,
Satora
in many books of my feb choelo i found words expressing this and its a part i love the most abt his thoughts….
Love is one and that is true love.
False love is lust based on lower insticts or egoism. Possesion can lead to negative feelings as jealousy and ownership which cannot lead to true love, in the contrary these feelings can lead you to the exactly oppossite situation.
One person has to experiense both, otherwise he will never distinguish the difference.
Love is one of many experienses in life that if it is not personal you can never have an opinion about it. It is as you explain someone who is blind how to drive a car.
Even the most bad or hurtfull experienses happen to us at the end they reveal something positive to use in the future.
Even if that seems far away when you living it.
The way to true love is a tough road though as you have to struggle with your human nature, with your self, to make little “sacrifises” from your ego, it means unconditionaly acceptance, means daily effort.
From my point of view the very next best thing after God’s love for everyone, is of a mother’s for her children. There are exception of course, but mainly is true love.
The more you polish your heart, the more true and shining love enters to it. The more you love, the less objects bacome a target for your love. The more you love the more closer you become to the beloved. We are reflection of the true and only love thats exists. The more we polish the heart the more we reflect the true and universal love and the less objectified your love becomes.
Hope
Beautiful Hope! The diamond, our heart.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Hope, it’s true, what You said about loving targets. If You love, targets of our choosing dissapear, but the whole world will become a ‘target’. See, that’s how much we are able. To love the whole world.
Something to love.
Beautiful.
Even as cheesy at it may sound. I believe, it’s true.
L.
“L’important c’est la rose” G.Becaud
“When asked to explain his gift he said :”A flower does not understand botany”
I think that we love according to our … ABILITY and CAPACITY to love. As human beings we are and express ourselves with the up-to-date result of the … lessons we have learnt as Souls, during our journey to … ITHACA. In this moment I can love only the WAY I KNOW and I .. expect from others to LOVE me the same way. I think this is the .. misery of humans regarding LOVE. We want others love us as we … dream and as our expectations are. Otherwise we feel that we are not ‘loved’ and we are not ‘wanted’.
But as we all know LOVE is a MYSTERY! It is a GIFT. Either you accept it with .. gratitude and ‘return’ it with ‘respect’ or maybe THE TIME is the … wrong time!!!! Someone has to … learn a lesson: the lesson of forgetting ego and satisfaction and learn to believe in LOVE and accept it and give it ‘unconditionally’. Then LOVE itself finds the WAY and the two become ONE SOUL.
As long as we are in the material world and vibrate with the .. desires of the Earth, our way of .. dreaming and loving is an earthly one: the love of ‘I want’, ‘I desire, ‘I want YOU’. But who can trust to give his Soul to somebody else unless he/she is convinced of the ..purity and sincerity of the other person’s feelings?
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Dear THELMA I think that you have exactly nailed the point, love is an exact remedy to that. To imperfection, to impurity, etc. We should love to compensate our deficits. Love others for compensating their deficits too, not pretending to give our love to those who deserve, but we have the privilege of the choice of who we want to be with.
Anyway, about the rest I think as you, we can love as we see the world inside and outside us.
Love
Olta
Thank you wise Thelma. Your words will stay with me for at least one lifetime I think. Who would trade this earthly body with all its magic?
Here’s a question for you though; how many souls make up this community on Paulo’s blog?
With love, Daniel
true love = no wisdom in true love..just instinct . the others persons happiness brings u joy
false love = you do as what you think people expect you to do. your intentions may be good…but you fear upsetting. this is not love for the other person. this where you may care about the other person but truly you love only yourself. selfish!!!!
Dearest Psycho,
some thoughts can be very selfish indeed.
Ya its completely true….you know its true love when you want the other person’s happiness even when your happiness does not lies in it.
During my courtship i always used to be worried about his well being,his exams and at top his health…and after my painful break-up i still used to be worried about him no matter how much he hurt me.And I know it was..sorry it is true love…and that’s why i am still not able to forget him(neither the happiness he gave me nor the pain),even after 4 long yrs.
With Love,
Naveli
Unfortunately, in true love, when you want other’s good, you may have to let him/her go…in true love, comes true pain
I read this line, at a time when my partner has called of our relationship… it all hurts as he has made the decision to deal with stresses in his life, needing to deal with his children and basically to make changes for himself. I feel lost as it was a really good relationship and we had some really good times…. am reeling and yes, maybe if it is true love then I wish him well and hope he gets what he wants in his life. What happens to me and the love I feel then?
exactly: we’re only human, we feel, and it is hard having to let go. Love is about sharing, and when you share your soul and your life with a man, it gets to where beauty becomes true when you see it together with your loved one, joy is only real joy when it reflects in your lovers eyes. Everything becomes a little more grey and a little meaningless when it can’t be shared with the one you felt was your other half. Of course we want that back! Hold on to the other one until he sees the world as it should be seen again, through our eyes instead of his own.
Well, a very strong love is that of a parent and their child. A parent often wants what is good for their child because they love them. They would be willing to let them go, sacrifice their hold on them – because they love them.
I was given up for adoption by my mother when I was young and I see that as a great love because she wanted a better life for me. My parents I have now love me a great deal but they have always had a fear that I would want to leave them and go back to my birth family – so there is a little bit of possessiveness there and I find that hard to deal with sometimes because I feel I am always going to have to prove my love for them, to reassure them, and in that way I am not free to love who I want. My birth mother in later years started to become a little possessive and then I had the difficulty of not wanting to hurt her feelings but having to let her know that I am settled with this family and I would never leave them.
Sometimes I felt too loved, but that is so much better than having no love.
i think its totally true and its the highest form of love…
when i think of my girl..i always feel happy….it has been around a year i met her except talking on phone….im just 20..planning to marry her bt things r not simple…but i know that it is her welfare that matter most to me in any condition..ewven if she has to leave me…so i dont wexpect anything from her but always thanx god to give me a partner like her…
Hola:
Esta frase es cierta, todo el mundo lo afirma pero muy pocos lo aplican. Entre esos estoy yo, pues he amado a una mujer muy profundamente, habia un respeto y un amor mutuo, pero debido a las cosas de la vida tuvimos que terminar por tomar rumbos separados (la universidad). Debo admitir que fue ella quien propuso la idea de “ser amigos”,algo que en aquel momento yo me rehusaba a aceptar con la excusa de “vale la pena luchar por esta relacion y por ella” pues nunca habia tenido una igual.
Como todo rompimiento, yo estaba muy herido y tome mi distancia,sin perderla a ella de vista, pues a pesar de todo daba gracias a Dios por haberla puesto en mi vida. No tuvimos comunicacion alguna por mucho tiempo (mas de 15 meses), pero al tiempo charlamos, esta vez como amigos. Me dio una alegria saber directamente de su boca todo lo que habia vivido, sus exitos obtenidos. Fue muy duro verle como amiga, debo confesar,pero en el fondo de mi sentia una satisfaccion y alegria de verle crecer y madurar. ( a todo esto me preguntaba lo que ella pensaba de mi o como me veia).
De ese episodio ya hace mas de 8 meses, pero creo que como dicen: “El amor no te amarra, te libera” ….estoy muy seguro que ella seguira triunfando, estoy muy conciente que ella tiene muchos pretendientes y que un dia de estos se enamorara de alguien mas, sin embargo esto no me atormenta (ya esos dias quedaron atras, cuando recien rompimos)….lo que mas me atormentaba era la amargura de la perdida, y el saber que dejaba ir a una gran mujer, que llevo mi vida a otro nivel….espero yo haber mejorado la suya tambien.
So yeah, the bottom line is: “in true love you, you want other person’s good. In false love, you want the person” ….hard lesson to learn, but with great rewards at the end.
Thanks, Gracias.
Your quote made me reaaaaally angry, and i don’t know why, i guess i missunderstand what you are trying to say, but still, Grrrrr.
It makes me think about lonelyness and it depres me, sorry. I’m sure it’s a life lesson that i haven’t learned yet, and i don’t wan’t to learn, i deny learning it. I’m 16 by the way. With all the respect, your reader, byeee.
Oh love…it isn’t easy…even for an “octopus”…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc3EAOha0qg
With loving kindness,
Satora…
thats real love, isn´t it??
Hi..I remember a time when I was so in love with this man I thought I would go crazy…..He loved me…so he said..but we couldnt be together….and things were becoming difficult….A wise friend said this to me…she asked Are you with him because you want him or because you want his attention…if it is the latter you will find it is a waste of time…She was right….it was the latter…it was false love…I wouldnt say it was a waste of time because I learned something…Now I know that in true love or when I say I love you…first I have to know and love the ‘I’….that way I am able to want only good and love for the other person…..It is a long journey to reach this stage I think……
with love to you xxx
PS! I want to discuss a little more about the first phrase of the quote: ‘In true love you want other persons good.’
PS! This may be a fall in the pit. Because. What do we mean under ‘other persons good’? Do we mean what WE think is good for the other person, or what other person has told/thinks to be good for them, or… do we even know what’s good or bad for us? Here I think Aditya would say something familiar as: ‘I have stopped to think things in categories of ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Am I right?
If WE think we know what would be good for someone else, then this first part of the quote would actually become equal to the second part of it. Now that You think about it, isn’t it so?
Although to take in mind the principle that ‘EVERYTHING TEACHES US SOMETHING’. Then wether so called good or bad – it becomes irrelevant, since we learn anyway. And who are we to know what is good for us, even ourselves? If we need to go under some so called “negative experiences” to learn something essential, then it’s meant to be.
So I guess the over all message – to give each person their own freedom, give Yourself Your own freedom, and love each other unconditionally.
All be well.
hello
in true love i do not think at all.
Yes Hildegarde. Not possible to do good to everyone at the same moment.
Good thoughts.. about the division also.
Some words on love that found me last week..
Two clouds
Bring me your love in a cloud
and I won’t lament the sun
I’ll catch every drop of rain
and drink
It will wash me til I’m clean
inside and out
And like tears
streaming down my face
I’ll put out my tongue
to tase every moment of your love.
Send me your cynicism in a rain cloud
And I’ll put it in a bottle
I’ll screw the lid on tight
and watch it every night
to remind me of the bitterness
behind every sweet word.
I’ll keep the lid on though
So it is just a shadow on my wall
and I’ll never have to taste its sourness
Spreading through my mouth
And when I’m done with the memory
I’ll open the bottle
And pour it on the garden
Where it can do some good.
With love (and a dash of lemon), Daniel :)
Heyyy. I loved it so much! Great work, congratulations.
Amazing!!!
Love
Alexandra
Beautiful Daniel!
That is powerful Daniel!
(just a response triggered by your poem Daniel. never limit love…)
As you were sitting on a bench waiting for clouds
I’ve sent you rays of sunshine
Hoping to warm your soul
That was restlessly hoping the sun away
I’ve sent you wind to awaken your skin
Only to see it covered
Praying I’m not stronger than the clouds
And when I realized you want nothing from me
I’ve summoned all love in the world
To help you forget wind and sunshine
So you can enjoy the clouds you were waiting for
As if there’s nothing else left in the world.
This is my experience on true love.
It has to do with a strong feeling of empathy that is felt at first sight.
It is a mixture of sexual desire, tenderness and a greater form of love that leaves no room for regrets or bitterness.
It has to banned from its vocabulary the words ego, expectation, and condition.
If both souls are in the same frequency it becomes the Regained Paradise, Heaven on Earth.
If one of them goes away a choking, terrible pain is felt, but the person is let go because it exists where there is freedom.
It never ends as it gets you connected to the other person on an extraordinary level for ever.
It makes you to want to be better than you are
It keeps you in ecstasy.
It keeps you praying for the other person’s good.
It makes you want the other person’s good.
It surrenders you.
It gives it all.
It accepts it all.
It forgives it all.
I want the best for my love. There are also times when I want her, and want what she can give to me. The conundrum, the duality, the contradictions. I love them all, just as I love her. I take comfort in the words of Dan Millman, “Until you can act out of love, keep acting out of duty.” Sometimes I know I act out of a sense of duty – my responsibility to the world to love and do right, sometimes from pure love without a thought, sometimes from self interest.
Sometimes if I’m having a bleak day I seek solace in sex or attention from my love, sometimes I just sit with it and watch it pass. Either way it comes and goes.
Perfectly imperfect. That’s me.
With love, Daniel
Yes Daniel…the contradictions and chaos also. Perfectly imperfect, love it!!! Enjoyed reading Two Clouds also. Thank you.
Love, Jane : )
Daniel, funny, about 8 hours ago I watched ‘Peaceful Warrior’ again. Something in me made me want to watch it.
PS! We are all imperfect, aint that perfect?
Be well.
Daniel..you are human!Nothing more,nothing less..beautiful!
Stil the same. Don’t brake your heart.
Can you try again the “why I hate you”? That was really fun.
Biscoitos… tsc. tsc.
In true love you want the other person and the other person’s good!
Hi Den Rod, sometimes when you want someone so bad it hurts and you have to let go you do and say things that have nothing to do with their wellbeing, or yours. It becomes like an addiction. That’s the dark side of love that the quote speaks to me of.
With love and not longing, Daniel
Interesting thoughts on Love! I think, from my experience and learnings, that everyone is correct – Love is what ever makes an individual happy. We are all different, the way we think, look, see, move – ultimately these differences should balance the world and let us live in peace and Love each other. However, such imbalances put up barriers and therefore we each interpret the simplist of things at opposite ends of he spectrum, like Love.
I work for a large supermarket chain in the UK, in Scotland to be more precise, and we often talk about solving problems by looking at ‘the root cause’ and dealing with the issue. In the case of Love it is strange because terrorists will blow themselves up because they Love their religion – right for them, wrong for everyone else and the reverse is also correct.
When you reach the point of acceptance you embrace all things and Love them all and do your best to help everyone – there is no false Love at that point, only Love.
Lets not over-complicate matters by trying to dissect and analyse feelings or words, just do your best and accept your life and follow your dreams!!
Alastair
This bothers me. You are telling me to let go, otherwise it is false love. Does it have to be a contradiction here? It is true love, and all I want for him is for him to be happy. I want us both to be happy, and everybody else involved.
But I don’t get to talk to him. There always has to be an inbetween. This process is just too hard… So much bad conscience. Still, I feel we have a common assignment.
Darkness, darkness. Be my pillow. Take my head, and cover me in… (Ian Matthews) Now I really need a new day!
I’m having a really hard time understanding the first sentence, what exactly is it when you “want other person’s good”. I can’t help but feel that a lot of readers are having the same problem, and are trying to compensate for this grammatical confusion with their own interpretations, but Paulo…what is it -you- were trying to say here?
I wanted somebody when I was feeling romantic, and I loved someone when I wished him to be happy, no matter that would mean.
You have to fall in Love to know what real love is.
I had to pay a high price to know that but I thank God every day that now I know.
Love
Olta
Imagine
there is a card game with texts on it,
and this would be one of them.
Maybe a new type of tarot where each card has a meaning attached to it.
This line wouldn’t stand for Joker then, on the contrary – there is no choice to be made. For the only time you’ll ever know your love has been false love is when it has left you.
It would be the card then that tells you to pick up the heap and walk on with the load.
It would have the meaning of something coming to an end, – without a new beginning yet in sight.
It is a card for loosers, and it’s stern voice is the echo of the anxiety in your stomach. You can’t hide you’ve lost, the card just tells on you, as clearly as a mark on your face.
It would have the color or hearts, surely, – but in all the wrong settings.
On one side it would be flanked by the sweetness of the past – when life was full and love seemed for free.
On it’s other side there would be chains holding on, – don’t let it escape so you can still show how much you truly love it.
“И я,сосуд пустой/С растекшейся во все и вся душою.”(Вагинов)-один лишь стражду ныне.
I have been in love several times. I have felt true love one time. Agape, eros, philos. Yes, I want that person. You might call it false love. At the same time you contradict a lot of you other sayings.
you have a point there
love, tina
If you have loved and lost, it is difficult to totally love a person again. It has to do with trust too and fear of rejection. So there are many aspects to consider or maybe I haven’t found real love yet.
Yes, first thing is love, second is possesion !
I have just watched a new Russian documentary called “The Secrets of Love”. It’s both beautiful and profound. So it was exactly this difference that was discussed, among other aspects of love, in in the film. It turns out that the statement is true and it can be proven by our physiology. Only it is not the question of “true” and “false” love, because there is no such thing as false love; it is not love, it is something different. This attitude is very close to jealosy. And the scientists, who took part in this documentary, found out that love and jealousy are regulated by completely different parts of our brain. They have nothing in common. What your call “false love” in your post is about ownership, not about love itself.
Thank you,
Oksana
hi Oksana,,
u have said that what paulo calls false love is actually about ownership, to highlight precisely this point paulo has said what he has, a lot of us keep on wonedering what is love, how to behave in love, whether to expect something from teh other, can we force / use emotinal balckmail in love, of course for the good of beloved only.
and about scientists, they have a long a way to go before they can discover love in a laboratory !
love
aditya
well that is ofcourse very true. although it is found to be very hard and painful when the “good” for the other person is in leaving you …
Best quote I’ve read in weeks!
Thank you so much for perspective Paulo…
make it an amazing week!
Love & respect,
Anca
it’s very true thought………
i am really believe in this one…….
no one can be a true lover if does not think for the good of the person to whom he or she loves…….
You have inspired me with that one on more than one level and I can say that it’s true.Great quote.And thank you for being such an inspiration.
I think that this phrase means that when you really love someone you let them free, and for that I mean, you want that person to be happy whether is by your side or not, whether if is in your same town or not, whether if what they do or think is totally different from what you do and think. That love stated in this phrase I understand it as the love that is there, that exists, without conditions and limitations. False love, then should be the opposite.
Acabo de ler uma nota a respeito de: Porque odeio Paulo Coelho?.
Trmina com recomendaçao de contato. Pensei: porque haveria de odiar Paulo Coelho? resolvi entrar em contato para agradecer, pois,ha muitos anos lendo O Alquimista,tomei conhecimento do Caminho de Santiago. Em setembro de 1997, parti, a pe (solitario) de Rnncevalles e apos 33 dias cheguei e Santiago de Compostela.
Porem, realizei mais de 200 laminas de desenho de lugsres por onde passava. Fui Entrevistado (Correio Galego) e convidado para fazer esposiçoes e conferencias ( museo de Las peregrinaciones), entretato retornei para Belo Horizonte, Mg, onde vivo. Roberto Drumond, Gilda Furacao, (falecido) ao ver os desenhos sugeriu: mostre para Paulo Coelho). Passados mais de 10 anos, parece-me oportuno mostrar para Voce e vejo neste contato esta oportunidade , ascesse Julio Cesarartes- you tube. Tenho aprximadamente 150 laminas (originais) e absoluta autonomia. Estou aberto a eventualmente conhece-lo e mostrar esta sigular obra de desenhos do Camonho de Santiago.
Um carinhoso abraço- julio cesar.
In false love you covet the other person!
lol…I’m not letting completely go of obsession in romantic love either! No way, its the dynamite we live for :)
Tough one. But true. I understand what that means, because I am mature now, but before some time, I would not see the point. Maybe we think desire is love, but love is much more than our wishes. But that quote seem fit more for a couple of lovers, than for love feeeling in general. Except some parents obsession to have their kids always near…
Very true about true and false love. As a religious teacher training First Communion children, I read somewhere that a teacher should always ask herself; ‘What is God’s plan for this child?’. This was an eye opener for me, as it helps me see each individual in a more humble light, with more awe and discover how very unique every person on this earth is. Really, in romantic love, we can ask the same question. ‘What is God’s plan for my lover?’ And yes, you need to want what is good for your loved ones, more than wanting them.
I love your post.
I will remember that question, thank you Heart!
Thank you Alexandra and Oksana for your sweet response.
What is our personal legend?
Love love love it! Thanks Heart. And what’s God’s plan for you? How may we support it? :)
With love, Daniel
In love, wether true or false, we, in both those ways, want the other person (who deny this, are lying). But there is a difference indeed, how we want them. Do we want them as ‘property’, as ‘slaves’ or do we respect and wish them good. Do we chain them or do we love them unconditionally.
That said, this quote couldn’t be more true.
Love,
L.
I agree with you Liina, well said!
Love
C.
I agree with Liina too!
This quote couldn’t be more true.
MAN AND WOMAN ARE NOT CREATED TO STAY ALONE!!!
SECONDO QUESTO PENSIERO verrebbe da dire:
Se vi innamorate di un’altra persona, cercate di starle ben DISTANTI, perché se la avvicinate, il vostro sentimento rischia di essere subito etichettato un FALSO AMORE con chissà quali secondi fini! :-/
Hi Liina,
A Beatles song for you, about one of the faces of Love..
I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad
It’s driving me mad
It’s driving me mad
I want you
I want you so bad, babe
I want you
I want you so bad
It’s driving me mad
It’s driving me mad
I want you
I want you so bad, babe
I want you
I want you so bad
It’s driving me mad
It’s driving me mad
I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad
It’s driving me mad
It’s driving me mad
She’s so heavy
Heavy, heavy, heavy
She’s so heavy
She’s so heavy
Heavy, heavy, heavy
I want you
I want you so bad
I want you
I want you so bad
It’s driving me mad
It’s driving me mad
I want you
You know I want you so bad, babe
I want you
You know I want you so bad
It’s driving me mad
It’s driving me mad
Yeah
She’s so
With love, Daniel
Yeah, may aswell be Agape, in this blog. Lol.
PS! I guess even Eros has different faces among people. Passion can be defined in variable ways. Life’s a rainbow.
PS! I’m glad You’re able to go and meet Your beloved, see, the universe conspires and my heart is happy to see the proof again. We may become a sunlight in a damp day to another, without realising. That’s why we have to express our joys and sorrows. Even if at times we may be bottled up.
Good luck on Your trip!
Thanks, and be well
L.
thank you , for clearing this small matter up ;o) <3
Dear Paulo and all,
-What is true and What is false? Love is never false and remains always true. As life is simply life, love is simply love.
-”Love is ______(Fill in the blank yourself).”
-Duality works fine when you make an opinion about objects but it does not work for life, death, faith, hope and love.
-
**************************************
Love remains the same
**************************************
What is true and what is false
What is good and what is bad
when love is answer to all good
and bads
Yes sometimes true love exits
but only in opinions
Yes sometimes false love exits
for motives and physical gain
but, life still sees
no differences, in love
love remains the same
in every circle and names
love has no boundary
neither any culture
of names
love remains the same
love has no race
no religion
no caste and creed,
simply because love is love
love remains the same
neither true nor false
it is our judgement for all cause
love is utterly beautiful
love is an answer to
pains and miseries
love is floating in the wind
like clouds carrying rain
transferring and connecting
hearts
making same
love remains the same
beautiful and without any difference
true love or false love
is not love
love is love
love remains the same
******************************************
God bless you all !
Agree with you my friend Santosh, really, love is love and cannot be false…but I understand the quote, as often in Love relationships we get possessive and we think we love the other person, while really all we love is to gratify ourselves…Anyway, still… Love is___ a poem from Himalaya :)
Love is…. ! an exclamation. Thanks Santosh. To the heart of the matter as always! Love is a poem on a blog at lunch time.
With love, Daniel
apt !
i wish to share with you a diffrent ‘take’ on this love business. afterall, this is amongst the most fundamental questions, one needs to familiarise oneself with, before we can ‘know’ love. what is love ? that love which is the path..
there are three words sex, love, compassion. sex is teh most basic, teh crude, the raw form of ‘love’, compassion is the most refined form, and the normal love that we keep on falling into and getting out of is a mix of both sex and compassion. Journey begins with the crude and should end with teh refined. compassion is where u wish teh other person well, are willing to go through ‘troubles’ to bring joy to the other person. compassion, when it becomes universal is the love, i feel, which they have been speaking of.
love
aditya
Well said dear Adi :)
Isn’t it funny with sexual attraction, how it can suddenly fire up in us, and stay for shorter or longer time, and as sudden as it appeared, then another sudden, it is gone! This is how I see what you call ‘love business’ (made me laugh this expression) The universal love you are talking about, is more stable i think.
Love & admiration,
Heart
hello aditya, i don’t agree that sex is the raw form of love, to me sex is the highest form of love for it makes you rise above yourself into what man and woman always were and always will be.
Compassion is the love for all living things, man and woman alike, businessmen and beggars, whores and saints.
Universal love i may not speak of for i don’t know it.
It is romantic love that brings us trouble. Romance is so connected to the ego it makes one feel as if one has lost a limb – or two – and that brings a phatom pain that is so heard to bear it can take the joy out of sex and compassion alike. Yet romance is so sweet noone would ever dream of putting it in a ban.
Taking care of “business” as usual Aditya! Agree whole heartedly. I think it would help to walk a hundred miles in your lover’s shoes, til you truly see them. Then when you need to you can find a blister that will inspire your compassion in any situation.
“What if you want not only the happiness of someone but also to be the reason for that happiness? Is it not true love then since somewhere there also the desire to be with that person is associated (or you can say you ‘want’ the other person)?”
“other person’s good”- i think that involves caring for them, being by their side whenever they need you… or even leave them if you think/know that’s best for them…. ?
“you want the other person”- are we talking about possessing the other person? As in trying to have them just like you want a certain decoration piece at your home, which ultimately you forget about???
Sorry, but i’m confused…
Dear Aman,
You have asked some very interesting questions and I will try my best to answer! Thank you for patience and understanding. I am not good with words.
In Paulo’s book studies, in The Pilgrimage, there is discussion about the three forms of love: Eros, Philos, and Agape. There is a link in the upper right hand corner of this page, if you would like to do some reading. I found The Little Prince and The Alchemist very helpful too. But, life is also a great teacher. I learn also through doing, and making mistakes.
1) When loving another, try and remember that love is free like the wind; untame. It comes from within; therefore, the source is not seen. This love is connected to everyone and everything! Like all of the tiny droplets in the great big seas or lots of little beams becoming a lovely bright light. A light that never dies. We are love; it is in and all around us.
Now, each person has unique ways of expression. Perhaps another truly enjoys your very unique way of expressing the love from within. In this light, you certainly are contributing to another’s happiness – and the happiness of many! Then their happiness makes others smile, also, and so forth. Like ripples when one drops a pebble into water. So directly and indirectly, a single act of love affects many, even those we do not see. I love lots of people. (And having children, taught me to love all children.)
2) Regarding the other person’s good: Sometimes people are incredibly ‘in tune’ with each other, even with thoughts. I care for and about the man I live with, and, make sacrifices. It is a pleasure. It is a pleasure also, to see him smile when he walks in the door. The happiness he receives while out doing what he loves, is brought back and shared. As is the happiness while away doing what l love.
YES, you are right, sometimes it is best to part ways. One time I was asked to leave a relationship, because he loved me and thought it was best. We loved each other so very much. It was a shock, to hear this, could not even imagine a future without him, but did not lose respect or stop loving him. And, did not leave immediately (2 years later), until ready to move forward. In time, understood without doubt or regrets, that it was the right choice, also born of love.
3) Sometimes people that love each other, decide to live together, form partnerships and committments, have children together (or not). But we are not property of each other. And need to encourage togetherness as well as time apart. Without chains, love bonds actually grow deeper and stronger, even though this may sound kind of strange?!
Love seeks to give. The more given, it is multiplied, then returns. Like beams of light.
Hope this helps a bit.
Love to All, Jane : ) xo
I hope so dear Annie – I really do hope so!
Oh wait! I didn’t read that properly! I must have been on another planet – Love should be easy & true! Like staying in a warm bed on a winter’s morning in each others arms writing on the paulocoelhoblog! Or knowing – just knowing makes the difference
Dear Heart,
Thank you so much…appreciated ! :)
God bless you !
But thinking you love somebody & being obsessed is different from thinking you own them like we own a car or a book! I think that’s why many women (&men) are domestically abused – because the other thinks that they own that person…and can do what they like…
I may have gone off point here! Tell me if I’m going crazy OK!
Yr ok…and my reply..if men would treat us as well as they treat their cars we’d have a better world. Giggles.
Well I’m going to have to sell my car… what do that say !! Ha Ha!
Get a newer model? Ha!!!
No I’m going to sell it so I can eat and buy new clothes! Going to try and do a teaching course next year and move to Spain with my sister! I need to get the hell out of Ireland – the Government destroyed the country for the people!
Spain sounds nice and exotic. Will probably be a nice break. The Government has taken over the entire glob, so not sure you will escape it.
Believe we try to say the same Annie, what they think is good for themselves, is what we should support.
yes montega !
sex can be highest form of love also for you, depends on you, in tnatra sex is also used to be one with divine. i was writing with reference to masses. ultimately iot all depends on our state of being.
love
aditya
Hi heart !!
the romantic love which keeps our heart young is needed, afterall we are not here to become saints, are we ?
that universal love is stable and its the shelter from all worries, anxiety, pain becomes distant, very distant, but then what is teh hurry, let’s enjoy teh passions some more,
sex is important, very important, it’s teh starting point for most and also teh ending point for some as pandora has said.
wonder how come a discussion about love keeps on surfacing here, in diffrent guises.
heart, the other day i heard u mulling over some arrangements whereby poor wols like me could also have some fun and enjoy paulo’s party, why not give it a shot, maybe some kindered soul can sponsor this annual event from paulo, maybe this annual party to honour teh patron siant of paulo can continue even after he is gone, a sponsor may come, paulo has poweful & rich freinds !
love
aditya
before i sign off for the week let me tell u something : Buddha was a sex maniac ( there are no written accounts as such but i guess so, at least cirmutantial events point in that direction ), more later
Daniel,
Thank you for your appreciation !
God bless you !
Thanks for your kind words Alexandra!
With love, Daniel
You know, Daniel, wanting someone can be seen in different ways.
As Aditya mentioned, and we also all know the different types of love. Philos, Eros, Agape. The love of a friend, family member, lover, stranger…
Wanting (someone) can also MEAN different things:
WANTING…
… to be next to person.
… to hug a person.
… to belong beside/with that person.
… to love them (either unconditionally or not).
… to wish the best for them.
But the whole idea here is a contact, in some way. Either physical, mental. Close or far. Unconditional or needy. Etc.
I don’t know if it’s me, my posts, how I put the words or some other factor, but people here often send me back the idea of Eros love. Like Thelma has mentioned. Maybe there is some message that I need to hear. (but at the same time it may be what I’d like to hear?). Your posted lyrics of a song seems to also be about it. But it can be looked at different angles… it could be either the outlet of a posessive love, or a confession of a hidden feeling lastly said out… maybe even something else.
I haven’t heard the song and don’t know it, but I will listen to it.
Things always have different ways of interpretations.
Be well, Daniel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_CUrpKob4A
Lol, a whole another perspective of WANTING through ‘Across the Universe’.
A wanting to produce human-robots. Humans that don’t think but listen to commands. Wanting freedom, but to get there it’s a heavy way… tough to get there when tought such matters.
But this certainly isn’t love indeed.
WHich leads to a nother proposition of the quote:
In true love we want other’s good. Wanting the other person is not love. (Same thought, different words.)
Amused Liina
Sorry: In true love we want other’s good. Wanting the other persons freedom is not love.
Hi Liina,
If you listen to the original Beatles song it sounds a lot like Eros, although the version you posted is a very dark interpretation! I find it amusing that they managed to get the word WANT into a song so many times though!
As you said, in both kinds of love we want the other person. It’s an interesting quote. I find it hard to imagine a romantic love that does not involve Eros, although I have heard stories of people who fall in love without that passion and intensity, it just sort of happens. I guess it is what you find underneath the Eros that counts.
I think the love in this blog is mostly Philos, although sometimes I wonder! :-)
With love, Daniel
sorry had to leave in a hurry
the night before buddha escaped from his home, he was partying with youg females as was his daily practice, maybe the effcets of the intoxicants had waned faster, he woke up in teh dead of night and saw the same beautiful women all sleeping haphazadrly there, their clothes all here and there, hair was no more how it had been, some were even snoring, and some had saliva trickling down their mouth. that instant his disenchantment was complete, and he quit all in search of truth. rest as we know is releigion !
wishing u all a happy time and see u later
love
aditya
Yes, yes, yes…how I enjoy these dialogues with you!
The main purpose of a saint is to be a messenger for God, to bring Gods love to other beings. In this sense, I’d hope to be a saint.
From what you tell me, I think I’ll become a Buddhist :) I’m still looking to merge the good old ‘Holy Marriage to Christ’ with ‘Sacred Sex in Hindu understanding’ and get it all. But a goddess cannot ‘lower’ herself to human conditions, can she?
….Paulo’s Party wouldn’t be as meaningful to me without you and Santosh and so many of the poor friends here, and yes I will pray the sponsor you suggest will come from heaven. Do you know, one thing I really admire about Mother Teresa, was her complete trust in ‘Divine providence’. She literally left her safe financial shelter in the Convent, and walked out on the street…started to help people dying on the side walk one by one…then all of a sudden, here were money to open a little room …and the ball kept rolling as we know. Honestly, I have no worries what so ever anymore, if we get together physically it will be a BLAST, if not I still know we love each other :)) and this will keep me going for hundred years.
Poor Buddah…you forgot to mention his own transformation to ‘big belly’ guy…we rub for good luck… Not all that sexy! hehe
Aditya, Heart, Monega, and Daniel,
Thank you so much for your thoughts. Here is something else to think about. Are those who constantly fall in and out of love really in love with the person or just the IDEA of being in love? Are most of the television shows, movies, magazines,ans commercials/ads we see filling us with pseudo-ideas of “being in love” and showing us how it should be? Is this why many are so unhappy? What can be done to help those blinded by the Media?
Wondering,
Lainee
Hi daniel !
must say hello to you,, taking care of business, ya i must, else ….. i am dead !
have u heard that husband and wife who spend a lifetime togather start to think alike ( that is the union, when yin and yang both find equal space in our consciousness ) and some who are particularly sensitive even start to look alike !
i could not quite catch what u menat by finding a blsiter to inspire comapssion, mind telling a bit more on this, i will see it by saturday.
love
aditya
Yes!!! Love the other partner’s Personal Legend unconditionally.
Thank you my sensitive and caring Aussie. For twenty years I believed in my heart God’s plan for me is to do something for street children in Brazil…I have tried several things to get on with an organization who are there already, with no luck. In the meantime my skills are building up for this task, and I’m more fit for this challenge today than I was yesterday. Having moved from Europe to USA, geographically I’m literally closer to Brazil, but still far away. Having moved from education to social work, has taken me to many of the issues street children suffer from. One of the steps I’m looking at now is to get into the Movie industry, as I know street children would love movies :)) One can direct anything that happens in one’s life towards a dream, if looking at it the right way. I’m not where I want to be, in direct interaction and projects with these children, but for instance, I am doing work for foster children in the USA, which is also very relevant to what is my ultimate goal…to work for a better childhood for everybody, I suppose. Thanks for asking!!
Love,
Heart
Dear Daniel,
Very expressive, imaginative with nice structure and flow….
Keep up the good work, happy writing :)
God bless you !
Thanks Candie! I’ll be dropping in on that ancient sword to see what’s happening there during my quiet time at work today (finally, after three weeks of mayhem!), it has been far too long!
With love, Daniel
Hi Aditya,
I had not heard about the husband and wife thinking and looking alike, although thinking about it I have known people like this.
The blister was simply an analogy to go along with the idea of wearing someone elses shoes, getting to know the world as they might experience it, experiencing pain and love (the blisters) and all the other things in life as they may experience them. Then loving that person compassionately would be easy.
With love, Daniel
Thnaks Daniel !
pardon me but christians think more terms of suffering and pain 1 of sin and repentence ! about time equal weight is given to pleasures too ! someone else’s shoes may be comfortable too.
lainee
more than love, we love teh idea of love ! and what it should be, media tells us, we rae in hypnosis, a de-hypnosis is needed, that is what a being a wol is about, one of its’s rules is ‘we should know why we are doing what we are doing’
heart !
me too, i also enjoy these excahges sooo much !
amazing know teh transformations of buddha, from young prince to enligthement, spekaing of non violence to worlds most violent arts of combat being developed from his tecahings. that fat bellied buddha ! oh ! yes
love
aditya
Hi Annie,
It rains here often! ;) thanks for responding, I LOVE your objections! I will relate the story behind the poems to help clarify.
The first was sent as a text message to my beloved as we had discussed how the weather in our two cities had swapped, I had rain while she had sunshine, where it had been the opposite the day before.
Unexpectedly she responded something like “Is this the latest from your blog? Poems about money trouble don’t get as many readers in?”. She was feeling hurt and rejected because I had canceled a trip to see her just before Christmas because flights were way beyond my means.
So in response I wrote the second verse and sent it to her, I was being a bit cheeky, and showing that I was a little hurt because the poem was written for her spontaneously.
The second verse is about the tiny bit of growth and understanding I got from the whole experience, the love I felt. It’s about the importance of listening, contemplating, understanding, compassion. The pouring out of the water is the forgiveness.
With love, Daniel
P.S. After some research this week I found cheap flights two weeks earlier than planned, have arranged the time off from work, and am going to visit my beloved a week from now. :)
Annie, while reading your response these words came to me too: “Pour out your tears so that love may grow”.
With love, Daniel
Thank-you dear Santosh! Your beautiful poems here inspire me to share my own writing, the energy you put out travels far friend!
With love, Daniel
Thanks Olta Ana, I’m glad you liked it!
With love, Daniel
Hi Jane, thanks, yes, love the contradictions and chaos as well!
With love, Daniel
Hi Liina, I think the quote is from the sequel to Peaceful Warrior, Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior. Its worth a read.
With love, Daniel
P.S. Yep, perfect!
The dark side…
In true love you want the other person bad! :)
Hi Daniel
What you describe doesn’t seem like true love to me. It seems like obsession you might have for someone.
I think Den means “passion” by the word “want”, and when you truly love somebody you love them so much that there will be no place for being obsessed, even though passion for them exists.
To love that much that you would be able to give full freedom to the other person, with your mind, your heart, and by your actions of course.
Oh, yeah, I like that, about discovering Love in a laboratory. Though the scientists looked really nice in the film;-)
Thanks for your comment!
Yep Candie. And loving it. :-)
Hi Heart,
Thanks for sharing your aspirations! It is good to tell the universe and friends these things. Then the magic knows where it needs to be directed!
Joy and happiness on your path Heart!
With love, Daniel
Thank you so much Daniel…Enjoy your visit with your BELOVED!!
Love & admiration,
Heart
Heart,
We have Native American students from Arizona and New Mexico coming to our school to further their education. One girl, involved in my fall play, just let me know something that is happening to young girls on the Reservation for the last six or so years — it has been caused by an unthinking leader in our government. Go figure! I was shocked that something like this was happening right in our backyard. I thought things like this only existed in third world countries. I’ll tell you more in an email. It definitely needs to be addressed. With your social work background you might be able to bring this to light without hurting the “Dine.”
Got to hit the sack…heading out early for drive to SLC to have Thanksgiving with my son Nick.
Later,
Lainee
wow!! great reply…!! thank u for the part “without chains, love bonds actually grow deeper and stronger, even though this sounds strange?!”
xxxx
Thanx a lot Jane…
I’m just 20… i’ve a lot to learn…
the person i love doesn’t love me (talking about love you have for a person in whom you seek a friend forever)… says we can just be friends (read: we can talk sometimes, say hi-bye; funny isn’t it??? and whatever else it means i can not figure it out)
The saddest part being that whenever she’s happy or sad i wish i were there and be a part of her emotions…
some day i hope to find an answer as to why this one person in the whole world…
Thank you for your lovely words, they made me tingle, like thunder and lighning in my soul! Back to you… :-)
When the clouds come
I look for the shape of you
And I welcome the distraction
When the rain falls
I shed my clothes
and dance to the sound of the universe
And the wind is your breath on my cheek
The scent of ozone is your purfume
The sun that breaks through the clouds is your embrace
And together they are the love that binds us all
And through this brief storm
Whoever choses can open their hearts
And let the rain soak their soul
:) I love you.
Adorable Annie…Didn’t Aphrodite have companionship with the mortal Hippolytus, even when this shouldn’t happen between man and goddess?
Love & Admiration Always,
Heart
I agree Olta. What I was describing is false love, if there is such a thing. I also think true love is acting in a way that befits love, even when your emotions are in turmoil. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control how you act. In a way I think you can leave the mind out of it, and love with your heart and actions.
I’d be very surprised if there was anyone here who has never spoken an untrue word to a true love. But I think true love has a way of always finding the truth, and then if you are courageous enough you can find forgiveness and understanding.
Dear Olta Ana, thank you.
YOU say: ‘..but we have the privilege of the choice of who we want to be with’.
To the above I disagree! I believe in Destiny, in Karma. So we are NOT really FREE.. We do not chose our …character, our parents, our country, our relatives, our children…
We may be more free to chose our .. friends. but, I think, every ‘minute’ detail in our lives is .. ‘predestined’.. The only .. freedom we have is ‘how to accept and live the present moment’, our … attitude!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Thank you, dear Daniel. I do not accept the .. title ‘wise’; I am just ‘human’. I always try to see the other person’s view.. I desire to ‘understand’, to be ‘in tune’. Because every human being is trying to do ‘his/her’ best in life with the ‘tools’ available .. Everyone is … RIGHT. Everyone has his/her POINTS, EXCUSES and way of feeling and thinking. None sees and feels the same.. There are so many ‘dimensions’ in a single .. dot! What I say to myself: THINK and FEEL and UNDERSTAND, but mostly, just LOVE.
Dear Daniel, I did not understand your question though, with my English ;-] :
how many souls make up this community on Paulo’s blog?
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Hi Thelma,
Nice to see you back…you are absolutely right ‘the choice is never in our hand’. I guess we hardly realize before surrendering our soul to someone…its completely involuntary. When I fell in love with him, I knew he is a very careless guy…it was a risk for me but then nothing was under my control and I had to bear the consequences.
with love,
Naveli
hehehehe Dear THELMA I was referring to the love between a man and a woman. I wasn’t considering it in it complexity.
Love
Olta
Dear Alice, you are FREE to disagree.. and think that you can change things!! But even this ‘change’ must have been in the PLAN! We just do not know. Our destiny is interwoven with so many others’ destinies and circumstances, that I doubt strongly if a thought or a desire you have, may radically change YOUR KARMA!
The only thing we can change, in my humble opinion, is to try to adjust our WILL with GOD’s’ Will and surrender ourselves to His hands.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5uKa1bDtsk&feature=related
We All do it in ‘OUR WAY’; the one that we know.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Agree or not mama THELMA those are WISE words spoken from a WISE person.
A wise thing would be to accept this fact but to know that there exist others wiser than you. Did your soul feel peace while knowing this.
Willing or not we all compare our selves to others sometimes and deep we know where is our position. Not everyone would have sad the words you shared with us.
Love <3
Olta
“Then LOVE itself finds the WAY and the two become ONE SOUL.”
I think there is only ONE soul, and all the pieces of the heart of that soul are gathering here at Paulo Coelho’s blog.
“Everyone is … RIGHT. Everyone has his/her POINTS, EXCUSES and way of feeling and thinking”
… I say you are.. WISE! Am I WRONG? :-D
With love, Daniel
You are very kind, Daniel, to consider my allergic reaction to whining as being lovely words and to reply even kinder.
to the traveler that chose exile
undressing identity like a burden
battling waves in every ocean
drinking from each and every river
awaken in the mornings by dew
daring to lose everything
in finding what can never be lost…
may hope never forget you
even though you forgot what is like
to be the one praying for the clouds
like a desert waiting for a drop.
Sweetest Thelma! Like diamond, like mirror.
love
May God bless you always, Swan-Annie!
You are right regarding …. explosions!!! In my life whenever someone was angry about ‘something’ and was … shouting at me, I was always saying : I can ‘hear’ you. But, if you need to express your nerves I am not your ‘boxing sack’! There is the … wall and knock your head on it!! Sharp tongue but … effective!!
If our ‘loved’ ones do not ‘respect us and our peace’, who will????
SILENCE is the language of the angels or as Paulo Coelho says the language of GOD.
THINK before YOU SPEAK and THINK before YOU ACT.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
I want your good…always!
Very true, Annie. If the good we wish for them comes from ‘seeing that there are other shoes and people who walk in them’, and if whis ‘wishing of good’ does not come from our own perspectives, hopes, desires.
Because sometimes people think they act out of love, and saying that they wish the best for the other, doing what they do. In fact they are doing it out of their own ideas, not because they’re thinking for the other person.
If we love, the distinction becomes irrelevant. Then we won’t have to think before speaking or acting, but we are guided by love. And love does it for us.
But the thought is right – we shouldn’t use our anger, or any negative moods/feelings on other people. We shouldn’t drop the ‘bomb’ if we ourselves are the ones who feel these intense feelings.
Be well,
L.
And true love is also when you can see that what the other person is doing or saying is because they want your good, even (especially!) when they are challenging you in some way.
So Beautiful Thelma! Love you!!!
Thanks Thelma….ur ideas r for a life time…
Love you too, beautiful HOPE!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Dont care if something is cheesy dear Liina. As long as it comes from the heart it will travel to other hearts. Yes our heart is able to love the whole wolrd! I agree.
Dearest Annie, Swan, you made me smile with the ‘thank you for being an ally’!;-]
I was talking with a friend once, expressing some ideas and at the end he turned to me and told me: I wouldn’t want to be your ENEMY, ever!!;-] Not that I am hard but because ‘my hands are clean’ and always state the facts and Laws! I love justice, peace and balance.
LOVE you too,
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Thank you Aarthi. Take care and be a Warrior fighting the GOOD FIGHT.
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
Reading this I just remembered something I have only learned quite recently – that instincts don’t always provide the answers, and it is so simple to just ask. “What can I do for you right now that would help”. These words have served me well lately.
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